Category: Engaged

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Communication Dating/Courting Engaged Home

2 Ways To Be Content With Your Mate

Flirting young African American woman pursing her lips for a kiss and caressing the face of a handsome man in glasses as they enjoy a date together

with Culus Williams
We live in a time when people desire microwave results in every situation even in our courting season. We have little, to no patience and we are anxious for everything.
When God blesses us with a mate we want instant perfection and totally forget that we ourselves aren’t perfect beings. When conflict arises in our courting season, we are ready to the throw in the towel and walk away. Wait a second! Did you forget that Jesus tells us in John 16:33 that in this world you will have trouble?! Yes, even in your dating season you will have trouble that arises.
It’s hard to be content with what you have when trouble is boiling in the pot. There are a couple of ways that I use to remain content in the midst of trouble.

  1. Pray about it

When conflict arises in your relationship pray to the Lord to help you resolve the issue. Often when conflict arises we try to resolve it ourselves and continue to add fuel to the fire. Go to God and seek his understanding on how to handle the situation. Pray about everything and be anxious for nothing. When we are anxious for instant conflict resolution we often miss the lesson that God is trying to teach us. Sometimes we need to learn how to handle conflict in a healthy way which is God’s way.
 

  1. Remember the time

Sometimes we get upset with our mates about something that they have said or done. We are tired of discussing the issue with them and feel that it’s easier to leave and not deal with it. Michael Jackson has a song titled, “Remember the Time” Do you remember when you first fell in love with your boo? Do you remember when you first met? Do you remember the times they made you laugh or brightened up your day? Take time to reflect on the good times, instead of the right now situation.
Paul tells us in Philippians 4:12-13 that he knows what it is to stand in need and to have plenty. He learned the secret of being content in every situation. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Yes, the secret is out of the bag, we have to be content in Christ Jesus. Knowing that no matter what we are facing that Jesus is our strength and we will make it through the situation.
You may be standing in need of peace in your relationship but know that if you look to Jesus that he will give you peace in the midst of the storm. Reflect on when your relationship was full of laughter, joy and peace and know that the sun will shine again. Be content with what God has given you and be willing to put in the work to make it last forever.
 
 
 

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Dating/Courting Engaged Marriage Single

What You Need to Know About Finding a Godly Husband

Attractive Afro-American couple using tablet, holding a cup and laughing while sitting on beanbag chairs against brick wall

 
They’re out there. Good men. Godly men. Real men. I know you’ve been burned, disappointed, disillusioned, even discouraged, but don’t be disbelieving. Unfortunately, you don’t hear this from mainstream media. Your wounded friends don’t tell you about the warrior-princes of the Kingdom, either. You may not even hear it from church! Men are either presented in our society as aloof, senseless buffoons, angry control-addicts, or sex-starved animals.
I want to assure you that these caricatures are not representative of Godly men who dream of being married, having children, and changing the world through Christ together. There is more. No, not all men are alike. No, not all men are pigs. As long as the world endures, there will be real men of God.
I hope these five tips will help you in your search for a Godly man:
 1. Pray. Many women I know tell me they have prayed specifically over their husband. They pray for his character, for his development into a man of God, and for overcoming his struggles. They pray over their husbands’ parents, friends, and influences. Some have even prayed for specific features, like hair and eye color! I think this is okay, but don’t get hung up on blue eyes if the Lord brings a brown-eyed man your way, who has the same values and goals as you. It is the heart of a man that God values and no one is more attractive than when the glory of the Lord shines through them (I Samuel 6:17).
2. Go where Godly men are.The truth is, you have to know where to find them. Godly men aren’t lurking in the places that the movies say they are. They aren’t occupying a barstool. They aren’t linking arms with multiple women at the clubs. They aren’t forgetting the name of the last girl from last night’s hookup.
They’re probably on their knees, praying for you.
 Don’t hide in your room and complain about not meeting anyone; go to the places you would want your husband to be found. Be active at church and church events. Bottom line: Godly men are seeking God. Seek God and you will find your husband. Wait on the Lord. I’m not trying to sound simplistic, but that is God’s heart for our lives: Seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
3. Know who you don’t want. Define where your journey with the Lord is taking you, and determine to go there, not being distracted by people who will tie a weight around your ankles and deter you from your journey. Know what kinds of guys are dangerous to your relationship with the Lord. That being said, I have this caution: do not operate in a false spirit of discernment, wrongfully casting judgment on people in the name of “righteousness.” We can judge the fruit of one’s life, but we cannot see hearts. (Matthew 7:16)
4. Have Godly standards. To reiterate point #2, seek Christ yourself. Honor what God honors in a person. Be firmly rooted in your prayer life and Bible reading. Know how a Godly man honors a woman. Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal any ungodly beliefs about Him and males in your life and ask Him to guide you.
5. Get ready. Pray for rain, and then grab your umbrella. Know how to manage finances, and how to manage your soul. Determine what you need to work on in yourself as preparation for merging your life to another human being. Pray, seek, fast. Thank God for who He has prepared for you. Rejoice that God’s ways are perfect!
 
 
 
 
 

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

2 Myths Christian Single’s Must Stop Believing About Relationships

Shy woman and man sitting on sofa couch next each other. First date. Attractive girl and handsome guy meeting dating and trying to talk. Male touching picking up female. Instagram filtered.

There are many people I could blame for the establishing of certain myths that Christians have now embraced as expectations for marriage. A myth is anything that is an idea that is WIDELY held, but false.   It is so important when desiring to meet the right one for you that you have the right mindset to help you be successful in not only meeting, but eventually getting married.
 
These are 2 myths that I have heard taught strongly whether it be through social media posts, sermons, books, and we can’t forget romantic movies.
 
 
Lets start with the most important one.
 

  1. God has only one person for you to marry.

 
My background is in biblical studies with my major being in systematic theology. I have a strong passion for the Word of God, and also for the correct teaching of God’s Word. But, no where in scripture do we see the validation that there is only one person for you to marry. In fact if you examine this concept from the right angle it will all make sense.
 
If there were only one person for you to marry, then that means you have one chance to get it right. Last time I checked, God has taken many of my not so good decisions and turned them for His good according to Romans 8:28.
 
And, lets just for fun say you do make a mistake and marry the “wrong” person that God didn’t have specifically for you, then now your children are illegitimate. Your children’s children are illegitimate. You’ve basically just thrown off the entire universe because you married the “wrong” person.
 
Now, lets add to it. What happens if the one person God has for you marries someone else before you meet? Does that mean you must be single for forever because that person married to soon?
 
The goal isn’t to find the one person, but to find the best person that is suitable for you and your future. The reality is there are MANY people out there that could be suitable for you that God would approve of.
 
 

  1. God chooses your spouse.

 
The first account of marriage we see in the Word of God is Adam and Eve.
 
In Genesis 2:22-23 it states, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man”.
 
The process of Adam and Eve coming into covenant was 2 steps. First God created her, then Adam CHOSE her. We do not see God saying to Adam, “HEY ADAM HERE SHE IS” or, “ADAM THAT’S HER”. But, we do see God presenting her to Adam, and then Adam CHOOSING HER.
 
Yes, 100% God needs to be a part of the process, but He has given us principles in His Word to help us choose a suitable mate.   Who you choose to marry should be a very conscious decision made with counsel from leaders, friends, and the peace of Holy Spirit. Do not choose someone because it just feels right, or because you had a dream about you two being together and immediately think God gave you the dream.
 
These two myths are MAJOR in the Christians journey for how they approach dating and relationships. Once you stop believing there is only person for you to marry and that the choice is not yours then it will truly free you to get to know people without the pressure of missing it or getting it wrong.
 
 

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

5 Clues You've Met a Keeper

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Singles, as I always say love should not be complicated and it should not be too difficult. While most people will not know on the first date if  they’ve met their match, there are definitely some signs you have met a keeper.  Here are some signs that show that someone is into you on the first date.

  1. They are On Time – Whether they are picking you up or you are the one picking them up, most people will make a real effort to be where they need to be. Even if you have agreed to meet somewhere. Because we want to make a good impression most people will do everything they can to be ready or where they need to be.
  2. For Women- The guy opens your doors, pulls out your seat, lets you order first. Basically, he puts your needs before his needs. That Guy is a keeper.
  3. They Want to Know about You– If a person is constantly talking about themselves, they are either nervous or just not that into you. A person that is a keeper will be more interested in learning about you. They will ask questions and listen intently.
  4. They Freely Talk about God- For Christians, the only thing God asks of us in our dating relationships is that we be equally yoked if you meet someone who is passionate about their walk with God, and is interested in your walk with the lord. They are a keeper.
  5. They Talk about the Future– If someone is able to share their vision as to where they hope to be in several years and their plan includes marriage, they may be a keeper, you do not ever want to date someone who does not have marriage in mind. You will be dating for a long time.

Remember to be constantly checking in with the Holy Spirit, he has given you the gift of discernment, discernment is not only to pick up bad things but also good things.

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Dating/Courting Engaged Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

5 Crucial Areas to Pray Over Your Future Spouse

My wife is pregnant with our third child. As a mother, carrying this baby from embryo to infant, she is connected with this child. Everything is different. Her body has undergone a transformation as she produces hormones to accommodate the changes taking place on the inside. She felt the first kicks from inside of her womb, the gradual increase in the child’s weight, and effects on her own emotions as a result.
She has felt every single moment of this pregnancy.
It’s different for the father, though. When I found out we were expecting #3, I laughed and cried, and jumped and sang—for a week. Then, I did what most fathers do: I moved on. I went back to work, and life, for the most part, carried on as normal. Not because I wasn’t excited, but because I didn’t have the constant connection with the little one that a mother does.
But that day is approaching when I will see his little face and hear his little cry for the first time, and I will be wrecked. I don’t have to see my unborn child to love him. Soon, I’ll have a new little person in my life, and I’ll wonder how I ever lived without him.
There are things I can do now to love this person. It will be the same with your future spouse.
You may not have the visual evidence of your future spouse, but you have hope of seeing that distant desire explode into radical reality. Right now, he or she is in the thick of life. Don’t underestimate the impact of prayer.
Here are five crucial areas to be praying over your future spouse:

  1. Faith— You may not know the level of faith of your future spouse. As Christians, we know that the Lord does not want us to be unequally yoked with someone who does not share your love for Christ. (2 Corinthians 6:14) Pray for their encounter with God. Pray that their hearts will be set firmly and passionately for Christ. Pray that he or she will have the spiritual eyes to see that great, sweet, affection of the Father for His children.
  2. Family – You can learn so much about a person by their family. Pray that any familial wounds will be healed. Pray for the provision, health, safety, and discipleship of your future spouse’s family, and for the relationship between parents and children.
  3. Friends – Pray for the friends of your future spouse. Pray that he or she will be surrounded by godly friends who sharpen as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). Pray that these friends will provide the accountability and standard of godly relationships that your future spouse needs.
  4. Finances – Pray for the way your future spouse handles money! Pray that he or she will be enlightened to see the snare of debt—and run! Pray that your future spouse rightly makes his or her money work for the Kingdom of Heaven, rather than being enslaved by the love of it.
  5. Future—Pray for your future spouse’s future. After all, you’re in it! Pray that God releases every promise He has made to your future spouse. Stand on the promises of God for this man or woman and declare that the enemy is powerless over your future spouse. Pray that God will order your future spouse’s footsteps. Pray that he or she will not grow weary in well-doing (Gal. 6:9), and for the day your paths merge.

One day, the mystery will be unveiled, and you will see the beauty that God has wrapped up as a precious gift to present to you!
 
M&Y is hosting an Online Singles Conference next month! If you are interested in registering or learning more about it, you can check out our website here: The Online Singles Conference

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

Let HER Work

I was visiting a bible study a few weeks ago with about 30 young adults. This bible study was full of people from every walk of life. That night, toward the end of the bible study, the leader decided to go around the room and have each person share where they were in their journey with patience. As I listened to everybody respond, there seemed to be a common theme in the room. That theme was patience in relationships and the desire to be married.
 
After listening for a while, the Holy Spirit spoke to me about the purpose of patience in every area but especially pertaining to relationships. One of the things I realized that night was that most people look at patience as a plague or even a punishment from God. Some said it was extremely difficult to be patient especially in relationships because often times they knew what they wanted and wanted it right away.
 
There seemed to be a lack of a desire and a value for patience that night and more value for the prize that exists on the other side of patience. So many people shared how they felt that if they could just be patient, it would be worth it in the end because they would get the guy or the girl that they desired. As I thought about it more, how does being patient help you obtain a prize? It doesn’t. In fact it can be quite opposite. Being patient sometimes can cause you to miss out on what you thought was going to be the prize.
 
In all of this, there are three things that I think are important to know about being patient in relationships. This could mean waiting for the one and not rushing into a relationship. It could also mean being patient with yourself and where you thought you would be right now in relationships. It could also mean being in a relationship and not rushing to the altar for the sake of the prize. No matter where you find yourself, here is what is important to know about patience:
 

  1. You must learn to value patience.

I wish I understood this concept when I was rushing to the altar of marriage, fresh out of college. I had no value for patience, therefore, like many of the people in the room that night, it was so much harder to be patient and so much more tempting to jump the gun in relationships, even to the point of the marriage. I had no ability to measure the damage that would be caused due to my lack of patience.

  1. Patience is not about the prize you will receive, it’s about the process you are in.

Oftentimes we think of patience as a caveat: “if we just hold out, then we will get the woman of our dreams or the man of our dreams.” The reality is, you being patient has nothing to do with the person you will end up with. It has everything to do with your trust in God and where He is taking you in life. When people are impatient, especially in relationships, it is like they are telling God to hurry up because He doesn’t understand what they need or want.

  1. Patience PERFECTS you!

The main reason patience is so important is because the Bible makes it clear in James 1, verse 4, “But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” When patience is exercised and grown in your life it perfects you. I think about people who jump the gun in relationships only to find out they still had unresolved issues on the other end of the rush – even in areas of purpose and careers. Usually when people move too quickly, they jump into something without the necessary tools to sustain their position.
 
Such was my case which led me to a divorce in less than a year. Rushing to the altar for marriage so that I would not “fall into sin” only caused me to abort the process of perfection that could only come from patience. I simply sold somebody a fragmented version of myself because I never allowed patience to have its perfect work. I was incomplete but made others believe that I had it together because I moved ahead of the process I was in.
 
Having patience in your relationships will allow God to complete the process IN YOU. It will help the other person to ensure that the person they are with (hopefully forever) will be complete, lacking nothing because of patience. Any time you jump ahead of your process, you rush into something and end up looking good on the outside while being hollow on the inside. As you enjoy the life you live, I encourage you to slow down. Don’t rush. Let patience perfect you so that when you do move into a relationship you will be complete, lacking nothing because you allowed patience to work.
 
M&Y is hosting an Online Singles Conference next month! If you are interested in registering or learning more about it, you can check out our website here: The Online Singles Conference

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

7 Things I Would Tell My Single Self

I am so thankful to be happily married and the mother of two wonderful children, this season is everything I could have prayed  for. In the last several days I have been thinking of my single days. I am glad I have no regrets about them, but here are some things I wish I would have known going through them.
 

  1. Relax- the one is on the way so stop hoping and praying everyone you see is the one, and no you have not met him yet. The story the Lord is writing for you is one for the storybooks. Stay focused.
  2. Grow in intimacy with God- When you get married time is going to be a precious commodity, you are on the right track, go wherever God is. Keep pursuing him with your heart.
  3. Lose weight/take care of your body- When your mate and children come it is going to be a lot harder. Keep going to the gym, develop good eating habits now.
  4. Finish School- There were so many times I wanted to give up in grad school, I am glad I did not. Finishing school while single was the best thing I could ever done for myself, some of my friends who were married with kids made it through, I just know it was a lot tougher.
  5. Go ahead and start the ministry- Many times I wanted to wait until my husband, I thought it would be easier with a partner, and it is. But the lessons I learned as a single woman leader are invaluable. Now I have my help mate but we are further ahead because I did not wait-
  6. Enjoy your sleep- Being married is not the issue, having children is. You will not sleep for many years especially mama’s. Enjoy the times when you can sleep in.
  7. Keep moving– Do not feel like if you travel, move to a different country or do something radical, your mate won’t find you. God leads people to each other, he will find you wherever you are.

Before you know it, your spouse will be here. Keep focusing on what is in front of you and you will see the goodness of God revealed.
Join us for The Online Singles Conference March 11th and 12th, everyone who registers here, will recieve a free copy of my book Journey to the Altar- A Marriage Praparation Guidebook.

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Dating/Courting Engaged Marriage Single

Five Common Challenges of Young Marrieds

Whether you’ve been married five years or five minutes, maybe you’ve been noticing a few changes in your new life. Like how you don’t know how you feel about animated movies anymore (I still remember my wife’s face when I wanted to rent Despicable Me. Before we had kids.), or what kind of music “married folks” are supposed to like. I get it, and so do many, many, others.

Young married couples commonly feel like the “odd ones out.” It can sometimes feel like awkward adolescence all over again. Here are five common challenges of young marrieds. See how many you can relate to.

1. Friendships are very different. If you’re recently married and your best friends aren’t yet, there’s a definite change in your interactions. By no fault of their own, they’re not in your world yet. They don’t have to make decisions that will affect their families in the capacity that you do. You may remain extremely close, but there’s no denying that there’s another best friend in your life: your spouse. For this very reason, new marrieds are often extremely hungry to find couple friends. It’s not easy, but they’re out there. Put yourselves out there and amazing friendships are waiting for you and your spouse.

2. You have a hard time knowing where you fit within society. I can remember feeling extremely out of place when we first got married. Do I go to the men’s class or do we go to the young adults class? Do we eat with the young people or the “adults” during Thanksgiving dinner? As a young, inexperienced, fresh-faced husband, I didn’t quite feel like a man, yet I was no longer a boy. Accept that you’re adults now. Glean from other older married couples. Be patient with the transition.

3. You still miss your mama—a lot. The truth is, you probably miss everything about your childhood. It’s pretty normal to actually feel homesick as a newlywed couple. Give yourself time. You’re building a brand new family with a brand new flavor and a brand new culture. The good news is that you get to create the new culture of your brand new family! So whether your childhood was good or bad, you and your spouse get to start something fresh.

4. Sometimes you feel like you’re making it up as you go. The books and premarital counseling really helped, but this is no dress rehearsal, this is it! You’re on! Your wife cries, guess who has to be her support? You! Your husband feels like a failure. Who has to be the one to build him up? You guessed it: you. And that can be scary, can’t it? I don’t know anyone who begins marriage as an expert. Marriage is a journey. Why do you think thousands upon thousands of books have been written about marriage? Because marriage is a massive mountain that has taken many couples many, many years to scale. Keep your foundation on Christ, with a devotion to one another and you will see the fog begin to clear in your marriage journey.

5. You’re actually pretty scared. The future is so uncertain and many young couples don’t commit to marriage because of the fear of the unknown.  Like Joyce Meyer says, “Do it afraid.” Marriage is a very courageous endeavor. You know why? Because you’re loving In the dark. There’s no illuminated pathway. Your journey will be different than others. You’ll have challenges unique to your marriage, but remember: He has overcome the world. Love one another. Go all in. You’re writing a beautiful story together.

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Engaged Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

5 Simple Ways to Lead your Wife

Happy to be together. Handsome young man piggybacking beautiful woman and smiling while standing against grey background

One of the hardest things for a husband to do is to lead. Quite frankly, whether we want to admit it or not, we often times have no clue how to do so. We are filled with outdated and impractical scenarios of how it should be done or, we go along swinging in the dark trying to find a method on how to do so. It is tough sometimes BUT it is a mandate that we’ve been given for the health of our marriage and families. God would not have required us to do it if it could not be done. Below are 5 simple ways to lead your wife. These tasks, if implemented, can be transformative for your marriage or future marriage.

  1. Ask YOUR wife how she needs and wants to be lead. Many times we have our own preconceived notions about what our wives need in terms of leadership. We must not make the foolhardy mistake of thinking that our individual wives are like someone else’s wife. Your wife needs a specific, tailor made type and style of leadership. If she does not know because she’s never been asked, it creates a great conversation and solidifies a strong brick in the foundation of your marriage.
  2. Lead by inclusion. Make sure that she’s a part of the decision making process for the direction of the family. Our wives voice(s) are equally as important. The decisions that we make affect the whole family. As a wife and mother, her words are valuable and her desires for the family need to be heard, considered, and acted upon. It is a great way to hear her heart and will help her to trust you when making decisions because she will know that you are aware of, and will take into account her point of view
  3. Pray with your wife. Showing Godly accountability through prayer and seeking God’s face helps to ensure that we are connected to the heart of God and getting our direction and guidance from him. Prayer is also another time that we can hear the concerns, needs, and thoughts of our wives. While praying WITH her, listen to what she is saying and take note of those things so that you can go to God in her stead during your private prayer time.
  4. Remain connected to Godly accountability. Scripture tells us our plans will succeed with many advisors (Provers 15:22). When we are connected to a system of accountability, it is not always comfortable; if it is comfortable, that system has failed us. This helps to ensure that we are making wise, Godly decisions with a sounding board that helps guide us as we lead the family. It is imperative that we remain connected to GODLY accountability and not your friend that starts every sentence with “let me tell you what I did…”
  5. Speak life into your wife. Encourage her. Salute her. Esteem her. Regard her. Celebrate her. She is the crown jewel of our treasure here on earth. Speaking life is more than just compliments. It is taking the time to see our wives’ efforts, greatness, spirit, and value AND create a context that harnesses all of those and breathes a breath of fresh air into them. Speaking life into our wives can help shape their existence (as them speaking into us can do the exact same).

These five simple tasks will have an effect on our wives and allow us to lead as God has called us to. They require transparent communication, attention to detail, thoughtfulness, and respect. We cannot expect our wives to be fully submitted and give those elements to us unless we are fully submitted to Christ by loving and regarding them as Christ does the church. Guys, it’s WAAAAY more than being a bread winner!!!

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

7 Things You Must Know About Yourself Before You Get Married

female hands with pen writing on notebook on grass outside

In the classic book, Art of War, Suz Tzu states, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
 
Then, we have Shakespeare who coined the phrase, “to thyself be true”.
 
It is within these two powerful quotes that capture one of the most important things you could ever do which is to learn yourself. One of the greatest assets for going into marriage is knowing oneself well.
 
Here are 7 things you must know about yourself before you get married.

  1. Know what tempts you.

Some have bought into the lie that when you get married that your attraction will be only for your spouse. This is the furthest from the truth. Self control is one of the most important qualities to master before you get married. You must know what your weaknesses are before you marry so you can stay far away from them within marriage. Adultery is nothing to play with and has ruined many lives.
2. What you’re good at.
Just like you should learn what your weaknesses are you should also learn what comes natural to you. Another powerful asset to marriage is knowing what you bring to the table. No man or woman wants to marry a person that doesn’t increase their overall value as a couple. When I met my wife I knew immediately how she added to me by recognizing her strengths in comparison to my weaknesses.
3. Know where you spend your time.
Have you ever taken your entire week and assessed it for where you spent every single minute of your day. Talking about learning yourself. My mercy. You will immediately learn where you’re wasting to much time and also the things that you’re neglecting
4. What entertains you.What do you like to do for fun? What makes you laugh?   What do you like to do calm down and enjoy the results of a job well done. Being a workaholic in marriage can suck the life out of your marriage very quick.   Learn now how to have fun doing what entertains you.
5. What motivates you.
We all have those days where we don’t want to get out of bed due to the overwhelming stress of life, heavy responsibilities, and sometimes pure I don’t care anymore thoughts. It is at these times you must know what motivates you. What will you find refuge in for a source of revitalizing your passion towards life. I have days where I want to quit, but then I think on the things that are my why for life. It is these things that help me fight the good fight each and every day. What are your whys for life? What motivates you to keep going when life is knocking you down?
6. What hurts you.
Everyone hurts differently and is hurt by different things. What you have to realize is that hurting is a part of relationships. I love it how this lyrical genius put it in this song, “ Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” You can’t go into any relationship with the fear of getting hurt. That is the great risk of loving people. But, it is good to know what hurts you in order to help those close to you. My wife and I had a very candid conversations about the things that hurt each other. We both had different things, and because of that conversation I know how to love her better.
7. Your love language
We all give and receive love differently. Knowing your love language is so pivotal for the health of your relationships. The 5 love languages are, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. It is found that what you do the most naturally is usually your love language.
 
I pray these 7 things will help you dive deeper into learning yourself better in order to be a greater asset to your future spouse.