The movers dropped all of our earthly possessions on the pavement. Having never seen the layout of the building, we miscalculated the distance to our new apartment by 100 feet. We were in the process of moving to Peoria, Illinois from Miami, Florida (a major transition for us). My husband accepted a position with a new company only a few weeks prior, and he did not know any of his colleagues on a personal level yet.
With no one to call and unable to pay the extra hundreds of dollars it would have cost to get the furniture upstairs, he took off his shirt and started to move the furniture into the apartment. On his own, he carried our 3-bedroom house up three flights of stairs. I was in Miami at the time and felt awful and powerless when he told me.
That evening, I thanked God for the man I married and prayed for his physical and mental strength. I’m not sure I have been more thankful for him being a fitness professional than that night. I do not recall everything I told him when we spoke but I remember trying very hard to be encouraging. I was unable to be present in the flesh and my words were all that I had.
I wanted to believe that my words were sufficient to encourage him. I thought of him all night while seating in the middle of my own emptiness. I mean that literally. The furniture he received came from the house we had just packed with the help of our families. With our eight-month old, I sat in the middle of our empty walls hanging on to the knowledge that this period will soon end and that before long, we would be on a flight to Illinois to join him. In spite of what was going on with me, the only concern I had was for him.
Was he fine? Was he hurt? Was he lonely? How was he holding up? The scenarios may change but the sentiments remain the same for other Christ-centered couples. You feel the full weight of the things your spouse goes through.
In marriage, we are constantly learning to love another person immensely and intently. The love that we share with our spouse is unlike that of any other relationship. I often think of the command to become one as both present and present continuous.
When God performed the first marriage between Adam and Eve, He decreed that a husband and wife are “united into one” (Genesis 2:24). While we unite in marriage on our wedding day, we must live the commitment of our relationship every day. With our choices, we continue to unite. We bear each other’s pains and sorrows, and we experience one another’s joys.
My husband’s good news is mine as well. Not only because I partake of the benefits of his success but because I am genuinely interested in his betterment and joy as well. As he grows, I grow. When he increases in the likeness of Christ, I reap the benefits of a husband who loves me, prays for me, disciples me and watches over my soul.
As he grows in his profession and becomes a more productive member of our society, I experience tremendous joy knowing that he is serving God, others and our family with his faculties. He brings good repute to me and I celebrate his success as I do my own, because I have traded the pleasures of “own” for the sweet gratification of “one”.
In the same way, when he struggles in an area of life or of discipleship, it hurts me all the same. This deep affection and connection is an element of the intimacy of marriage. Two becoming one not only denotes the physical connection that takes place or the legal contract that binds us, but more significantly it signifies the reassembling of two lives to become one over and over. Our commitment is to be unified for as long as we both should live.
In the months following our move, we found ourselves needing to encourage each other in our circumstances repeatedly. Living away from our comforts and the familiar faces of our friends and family turned us to God and each other.
While we made every effort to maintain our connections with the outside world, much of our support came from within our walls. We found that this period of our marriage ushered us into a more open and honest relationship with each other. It was a year of tremendous growth for our marriage as a result.
We continue to grow closer to one another, through joy and sadness, arguments and reconciliation, working out our salvation and upholding our marital covenant, for we are devoted to becoming one until death does us part.
What experiences have helped you to grow closer to husband/wife?
This was a Guest Featured Post by: Fleurztael Duckworth | www.ourlittlepond.com
Hi! I’m a Christian wife and mother of two young boys making every effort to live life according to God’s Word. Our family lives intentionally each day to please God, love others and each other. My husband and I were married 9 years ago, and we have seen God’s marveling Hand at work in our marriage.
While I hold an advanced degree with a focus in Conflict Resolution, the biggest helpers to loving others have been the Word of God, my husband and children. The latter remind me to be patient, loving, gentle and giving. It has been a beautiful blessing to be a part of God’s family, and in turn be a wife and mother of influence within my own home. I write some of my reflections of our lives and what I am learning as we grow day by day. I invite you into my journey and hope to join yours.
