Category: Communication

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Communication

How To Have A Successful 2018

Close-up Of A Businessperson Writing Schedule In Diary On Wooden Desk

Written by: Rachel Wright

  1. From overcoming to overflowing; how to successfully plan for a 

 
Whether you’ve had a really great year or a not so good year, you made it to the end of 2017. Whichever applies to you, I’m sure you have the expectation of having an even greater 2018. How might you have a better year? Simple. Successful planning is imperative.
 
“Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.” Proverbs 21:5
 
When we fail to plan, we plan to fail. Sounds a bit cliché, huh? It’s actually biblical. We must be intentional about planning for an outstanding year and putting it all into action. A new year is approaching and you have a fresh start at planning out how you will be more productive in this year to come.
 
Here are some tips on planning for a successful and more productive year:
 
 

  • Write it out. Write the vision and make it plain. Get a new productivity planner, a wall calendar, a dry erase board, or utilize the applications in your latest iPhone. In the areas you lacked discipline, write out your step-by-step plan on how you’re going to be more productive.

 
 

  • Get Creative. It’s what you make it out to be. You’ve written out your plan, now its time to have a little fun! If you lack creative ideas, check out Pinterest—there’s a planning board waiting for you!

 
 

  • Revisit. Make a note to revisit your plans monthly or even quarterly to ensure that you’re on target.

 
 

  • Involve Community. Mentors and friends are imperative. It is best practice to have close friends who can help encourage you along the way to success. Let’s take it a step further: Having mentors for each area of your live is an even greater practice. Community is necessary.

 
 
 

  • Submit it to God. “There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.” Proverbs 19:21 The most important step we must make in successful planning is to submit our plans to God. We must ensure that our plans align with the will of God for our lives.In doing this, we ensure that God’s grace and favor is on the steps that we take. Our steps are ordered by the Lord, so why wouldn’t we include the One who has given us an expected end? Jeremiah 29:11 lets us know that God’s plans are to prosper us and give us a hope and a future—an expected end. Submit your plans to God and watch them prosper!

 
 
 

  • Go. After you’ve written your plans, involved mentors who can hold you accountable, and submitted your plans to God, just do it! Put your plans into action and execute. What good is a plan if there is no follow through?

 
 
You’ve made it to the end of this post; therefore you have the steps to successfully planning for a productive year. You overcame 2017 and now it’s time to overflow—with milk and honey. You have power and authority over your destiny, so make 2018 count.
    
 

Categories
Communication

Does God Have Goals for My Life?

young casual black man wearing blue tshirt on white background

Writer:  Geovona Matamoros
 
Goal: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.

Goal-setting is a great way to have a clear vision for the life you want, but did you know there are goals that are set for us in the Bible?
 
There are biblical goals that every Christian should have. I think we all can agree that we should always be moving towards some sort of goal; maybe it’s to graduate, to lose 50 pounds or even take a trip to Disney World. Recently, I attended a webinar hosted by Michael Hyatt where he encouraged us to write a list of 7 to 10 goals you’ll pursue in the coming year. Proudly, I sat down with my new 2018 notebook, multi- colored pens and proceeded to write out my goals. However, as I was reviewing my goals, I recognized how self-centered they were.
Now don’t get me wrong they are mine and they should be focused on me but this led me to think, does God have goals for my life? As a mother, I realized I have goals for my kiddo. They aren’t intense like she has to become the next Serena Williams or even graduate from Harvard, but they are more spiritual like: live in her calling, be kind, and grow in knowledge and wisdom.
 
Since God is a good father, wouldn’t he have some goals for His sons and daughters? I started searching the Bible and I was led to these five commands from God, which can also be translated as goals we should aspire to attain. If there are any goals that speak to your heart put them in the comments below and let’s discuss.
 

#1. Love
God is love. That’s not something He just does, it is who He is. 1 John 4:8 (NIV) says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
 
We are commanded in the book of Matthew to love God, love ourselves then love others.
 
Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV) says, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
 
In a seminar by Dr. Myles Munroe titled, “Keys to Self-Love” he states: “To love God is to pursue and focus on God’s qualities, nature and character. Get to know God. ‘As yourself’ means to the same degree or measure. You can only love others to the degree or measure in which you love yourself. Loving God should result in self-love which qualifies you to love everyone else.  The prerequisite to loving others is to love ourselves.” If the two greatest commandments include love we should probably learn to love God, ourselves and everyone else.
 
#2. Seek God’s Will

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”- Matthew 6:33 (NIV)
 
God has a plan for your life and one of our goals should be to find out what that is. It is good to set long and short term goals, as long as we leave room for God to change them. His goals take precedence over ours. When we position ourselves to seek what our heavenly Father desires for us we will be able to see the success we desired all along.
 
#3. Be Holy
 “You are to be my holy people…”- Exodus 22:31 (NIV)
 
Strong’s Concordance defines Holy as: set apart by (or for) God, holy, sacred.
 
We are to reflect His divine likeness. The great thing about God is he doesn’t just let us figure it out on our own, He gave us an example we can relate to: Jesus. He is 100% human and 100% God, and he’s our perfect example on how to live and be holy here on Earth.
 
#4. To Prosper Us
Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. – 3 John 1:2 (NASB)

We have established God is a love. Our relationship with God is not based on our actions, but on our connection to Jesus and his finished work on the cross. Wouldn’t you agree that a God who loves us also wants us to prosper? The theme here is trust.

God keeps His promises in His time. He is faithful and has provided all that we needed in the past. Check your history. God’s way to prosper you is to prosper your soul first through the Word of God. Trust Him to prosper you in such abundance you will be a blessing to others.
 
#5. Be Strong and Courageous

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Too often we forget that God is on our side and he wants what’s best for us. No matter what fear you are facing today, God is encouraging us to remember He is always with us, therefore we have every reason to operate in strength and courage. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Now is the time for strength and courage!
 
I encourage you to take your goals for 2018 and see if they align with the goals set forth in the Bible for us. Consider what your highest biblical goals should be. The best way to get clarity is to get under the Lord’s authority and to see what he lays on your heart.
 
Definition from Dictionary.com

Categories
Communication

3 Tools to Cope During Your Season of Transition

cheerful couple packing for new house

Writer: Nathanael Sauce
This year has been a lot of things for me. It has been walking blindly by faith into the unknown. It has been stepping onto a step that seemed to be invisible. It was a year of transition, filled with moments of trepidation and frustration. What it has not been, though, is a failure. My wife and I celebrated our first anniversary this past September, and while this was an incredible time of learning more about each other, this is not the only transition I have experienced this year.
 
Earlier this year, my wife and I felt the moving of the Holy Spirit upon our lives to step down from the position of “Youth Pastor”, to which I had been entrusted for around four and a half years.  We promptly obeyed, and after speaking to my pastor and informing him of this unction, we stepped down.
 
The months that followed were a bit confusing. If you have ever been in a season of transition, you know exactly to what I am referring. You spend hours of questioning, “God, am I where I need to be? Did I hear you correctly? How will I know when to take the next step?” These are all questions that are completely human, but in a sense, utterly flawed. Each of these questions emerge from a lack of security, or a shallow depth of roots.
 
After listening to a few people who had done what I’m doing in life, I started to open up my mind to the fact that my journey with God is more than a single moment of finality, but rather a series of victories that are laced through this glorious process called life. Just over a month ago, the position of “Missions Pastor” was offered to my wife and I. This is not a position that in the past I would have seen myself fulfilling. Through this transitional season, God has reshaped my focus and given me some clarity on my future. In certain ways, we are definitely still in a season of transition, but I have found peace in the midst of the craziness.
 
Please allow me to lend some wisdom to you from my year of experiencing transition. There are a few things that I have learned are most important when handling a transient season.
 
You are not your rock. GOD is your rock. He is the same God who commanded light to shine from the darkness, who has shown in your heart through the revelation of Jesus Christ, according to 2 Corinthians 4:6. He is immovable, unshakeable, and relentless in His pursuit of you.
 
The revelation of your royal sonship or daughterhood should be where you find your anchor. When you realize that your place in the family of God is “sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise”, (Eph. 1:13), you no longer have to worry about having a performance-driven life. You find that you have more than just goals, hopes, dreams, and visions for which to live. You have LOVE. Love to give, and love to receive, because you are in the divine family of God.
 
You are not the first, and you certainly will not be the last. One of the main devices of the enemy is to make you feel singled out. As soon as he can cut you off from your connection to others, frustration and feelings of failure ensue. When you are in-between major seasons of life, whether that be a relationship breakup, a job lost, a business started, a child born, or a season of engagement, it is primetime for lies of the enemy to line the bottom of your soul.
 
“Maybe there were things I could have done in the last season that wouldn’t have brought me here? “Maybe we shouldn’t get married? Why have I not had a boyfriend/girlfriend in a while? Am I just undateable?” These types of questions can be toxic to your in-between season. In those moments of loneliness and heartache, remember that you are connected to a much bigger picture. The bigger picture definitely involves the dreams of your heart coming into fruition. With that in mind, if your hope is in those dreams, and not the Dream-Maker, you will enter your next season sorely underprepared and disappointed.
 
You are to let your roots run deep, not worry about the fruit. If God has you in a season of transition, it is for a reason. The reason is for you to refocus your thoughts towards Him, and prepare for the next season. If you are so worried about the fruit of your past season, or the possible fruit of your future seasons, you have no time to be enveloped and engrossed by the heart of God for you. Take time during this season to shift your focus from performing for God, to passionately pursuing his heart.
 
When you pursue his heart, you will see that the season of triumph and victory is not just in front of you, it is in you. The only reason that fruit appears in the proper season is because the roots were well maintained in previous seasons to prevent death and decay. The only reason King David had the faith to take down Goliath on the battlefield, was because he correctly handled his season of preparation on the shepherd’s field.
 
Maybe you have been in this “transitional season” for weeks, months, years, or even decades. The timing of the season is not in your hand, but the perspective you choose to take is your choice. God has plans for you. He has big, wild, crazy, incredible dreams for you. If you submit all your dreams, hopes, and visions to Him, you will find that your greatest moments have nothing to do with the season you are in, but rather the One to whom you are connected.

Categories
Communication

8 Actions to Close Out 2017 and Be the Best You for 2018

Writer: Contessa D.
As we all know, 2017 did not come to play with any of us and it sure did not give concern to any of our feelings. This year was the year of the edge, where edges were being snatched, the edge of seats were being sat on, and many of us felt like our lives were on the edge of a really crazy cliffhanger. 2017 was the struggle that was all the way real and it didn’t fail to stretch, tug, and pull us all in our processes for what’s about to emerge for us in 2018.
 
I can say that personally for me I felt like I was every bit of the old school toy favorite, Stretch Armstrong. I was being stretched in areas that I never really knew could be stretched, and the fact that they even needed to be was a challenge. It became a regular occurrence of me asking God, “What are you doing?”
 
You know the saying, “the devil’s throwing everything and the kitchen sink at you?” Transparent moment y’all, there were moments where I felt that I was a kitchen sink away from giving up on my process and throwing the whole of 2017 away. I was ready to quit. I felt every bit of alone (even though I knew I wasn’t), my business wasn’t taking off the way I wanted or expected, I was lacking a great deal of confidence in myself, and relationships seemed to become increasingly questionable.
 
Everything just seemed so…dry, like “desert sand mixed with baby powder” dry. I looked at my problems all year and with each one I was missing the point that they were opportunities to teach me to rise. My perspective was in a poor view simply because I was merely looking at my problems from a worldly perspective and not from the high view from where God seated me–in heavenly places.
 
There’s this quote that I often hear a wise influential leader say, “live above and not below.” Too often as believers we live our lives too closely to the ground when we overlook the promise that we were seated high and in heavenly places with Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:6 NIV). Well, I say it’s time to change your view from ground level to aerial. There’s nowhere to go but up from here, I mean nothing should stop you if you’re all the way up.
 
Here are some things to check off your list to make sure you aim high and stay high:
 

  • Be Reflective – Take the time to go over your year. Where in your challenges did you fail to rise? Keep it real with yourself and with God. If you can’t see it for yourself then ask for help, ask the Holy Spirit to bring to light situations where you had a poor perspective of a situation and how you should’ve responded.

 

  • Forgive – This is key for just about everyone. To go high, you need to forgive. Forgive yourself for where you may have failed to respond the right way in challenging situations. Often, we are the ones to inflict the most pain on ourselves— holding our own mistakes against us. Forgive yourself for everything you’ve held against yourself and be sure to forgive those who’ve also hurt and come against you.

 

  • Rise – Nothing takes you higher and keeps you higher like rising to an occasion where others would normally retreat or operate out of a lowly choice. Choose to go high and stay there by shifting your perspective to view difficult situations as your potential opportunities.

 

  • Build – Take the time to check out what it is that you are building. Over the course of this year have you managed to build community, healthy relationships, or even a business? If your answer is no, then you may want to reflect on why you missed out on the building process and what caused you to. Whatever we build is meant to further carry us up. If your relationships and community aren’t doing that then it’s time to reevaluate who and what should not be coming with you in the coming year.

 

  • Be Transparent – Keep it real with God about where you are and where you want to be. Be sure to tell Him all that is on your heart, He knows it anyway so why not be open about it. God desires for you to become open with Him and just tell Him the truth. That is what will help you to build your relationship with Him. If you’ve been wounded this past year, I assure you that He desires to heal you if you let Him.

 

  • Recover – This year may have given you quite a bit of loss. Well, now it’s time for your restoration to take full effect. With everything that was stolen, dried up, and lost, it’s now time to recover it all. In other words, GO. GET. IT. Don’t make the mistake of believing you can sit still to get all that was lost— no, go put in some work. Believe God, but also do what you can do so that He can do what He can do. You must get in alignment and agree with what God has for you and do your part in tilling the ground to see its fruit. If all that you tried before didn’t work, He is calling you to try it again and remain faithful that this time, it will work.

 

  • Let it fall off – Simply put, everything and everyone that’s not meant to elevate with you shouldn’t. Let it all fall off as you ascend into new atmospheres. If you find yourself trying to carry the extra stuff, such as fear, anxiety, and some relationships then you will find yourself unable to go as high as needed to truly soar.

 
Take off – Five… four… three… two… one…. It’s time to go high. Nothing can stop you, you’re all the way up.
 
With these 8 steps you will be well on your way to not only achieving great heights in your life, but remaining on top. The year 2017 tried all that it could—putting you under pressure— but you didn’t break. You were being refined and built. You are ready to soar and I have a feeling that 2018 will be ready for you to fly. Keep aiming higher and never settle for lower.

Categories
Communication

Why You Shouldn’t Make A New Year’s Resolution

Friendly african american executive business woman brainstorming using green adhesive notes in a modern white office

Writer: Briana Whiteside
As we near the end of 2017, many are preparing their New Year’s Resolutions. For some this may include getting in shape for summer 2018 and for others it may mean leaving a long-term situationship. Whatever the case may be, the end of the year generally brings a sense of reflection. If we’re honest, some of the resolutions we made at the beginning of the year didn’t quite make it to the end of the year. Why? Why didn’t we follow through with everything that we set out to do at the top of the year?
 
If you’re anything like me, you probably set big goals for yourself. In your mind, you believe that you can accomplish anything, but fail to consider the cost of the dream. You may holdfast to Philippians 4:13 which reminds us that you “can do all things through Christ who strengthens,” without accounting for your flesh that threatens to stop you every step of the way. Now this is not to discourage you in any form, but to reveal a possibility as to why many of us are not finishing the year as strongly as we could.
 
This is why I stopped making resolutions and started making decisions with strategies for them. I was tired of setting huge goals at the beginning of the year only to lay them down by June and reason that “there’s too much on my plate.” Even more, I was irritated with the constant reminder that I let myself down…again.
 
When we get caught up in the hype of the New Year, sometimes we forget that we are bringing our old selves along for the journey. This is where it gets tricky because while we have the intentions to do better, we have not changed our mindset. In essence, you cannot change your situation without altering, or even abandoning, the former ways in which you’ve perceived it. You cannot continue to flirt with the mentality that hindered you this year or in previous years. With this in mind, perhaps you should abandon your resolution and decide to strategize towards your goal.
 
Here are a few tips:
 

  1. Write the goal— Ok now, this may seem like a no brainer but it’s really essential in the process of decision making. Sometimes seeing something on paper brings a new, more concrete, awareness to it.

 

  1. Ask the hard question (why?)— I have previously set goals for myself that I thought I really wanted to accomplish. However, it wasn’t until I started asking myself “why” that I realized—more times than not— I wanted to accomplish the goal because someone else had done it. You can probably assume that I never successfully achieved these goals because the foundation on which they were constructed was not authentic. So, ask yourself “why” this goal is important to you with the hope of not only reaching a more realistic understanding, but gauging your positioning with it.

 

  1. Write the first step—After you’ve written the goal, you should now engage with it. Ask yourself, “What is the first thing that needs to be done to help me get to the end?” I find that if you write the first step then you’ll more than likely begin to understand what is required of you in order to reach it.

 

  1. Bring it into community—This may require a little more thinking. When I’m determined to accomplish something, I bring others in on the journey. This means that I ask people to hold me accountable for my actions or lack thereof. Attention: the friends you choose to help you in this process should not have a history of pacifying your dysfunction, but they should be as invested in your growth as you are.

 

  1. Do research—Knowledge is your best friend when you’re trying to do something that you’ve never done before. As an active researcher, I’ve learned the power of information gathering and vetting. While not all material is helpful, if you’re intentional, you can find what works for you.

 

  1. Apply the knowledge—The common misconception is that knowledge is power. That’s just like telling someone who eats fast food every night that it’s causing them to gain weight and they do it anyway. Does this mean that they don’t have the information? No. It simply means that they aren’t applying it to their lives. While they are equipped with the power to change, if they don’t make the decision to do so then the information is in vain. Therefore, you must apply the knowledge.

 
Ultimately, when we are thinking about change in any situation, we must first plan to succeed. This may require us to ditch the resolution and start choosing better goals accompanied by strategies.

Categories
Communication Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

Why I Won’t Go “Hunting” For A Girl

Fellas, this one is for you – lets talk as if we were at Starbucks! Ladies, you may want to listen up as well because I believe the focus of men will rise to a higher standard after reading this article and becoming aware of what will be shared. Also, I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts after you read this… Leave a comment!

“As a man, you have the responsibility to go find your wife! You must go searching for her if you’re going to find her…” says people.

As it pertains to going on a journey to search for our future wife, it has been said that we are the “hunters”. I agree with the concept, to a certain extent. Let me explain.

When you think about a hunter, you normally think of two things: a human being that has been trained to hunt animals (prey); or an animal that has been trained for the same reason, to hunt other animals (prey). So the end result is, something has been hunted for the pleasure of the hunter.

I’ve heard many grown men when I was younger, even to this day, talk about how much they used to “chase females”. I never was too fond of that terminology. Without the attempts to make this “deep”, I’m sure your future wife wouldn’t want to be known as a person that was chased, or hunted for—a “prey”. This is why I shy away from the word “hunter”. However, I do understand the concept. “Hunters” need keen eyes, wisdom, and strategy. When pursuing a potential wife, you need these three things.

KEEN EYES

“…“O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.” So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw…”—2 Kings 6:17

Obviously, this isn’t in the context of a future spouse, but I believe the principle stands. As the man, you need keen eyes to see if this is, not only “a” potential wife, but “your” potential wife. You need to be able to “see” a future with whom you’re physically attracted to. Bro, based on what you’re called to do in life (seeing that you have at least an idea), you need keen eyes to see if she is compatible to your destiny. The last thing you want is to marry someone because of how beautiful they looked, how nice they treated you, and how good she made you look with her being on your arm, but when it came time for you to fulfill destiny, she seemed uninterested. Her being beautiful (whatever beautiful looks like to you) and her acting nice are things to seriously consider, but you should’t merely make your decision based off those things. The whole point of a wife goes much beyond a pretty face and a pretty body, but how can she help you in destiny? The wife is to be your helpmeet.

WISDOM

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”—Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

The key to making this Scripture a fulfillment in your life is Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”

When you seek God for wisdom, He gives it freely (James 1:5). This particular passage of Scripture in James isn’t talking about spiritual wisdom, though we need that without a doubt; this is talking about practical, day-to-day life wisdom. When God allows you to “see” who your future wife, when pursuing her, you need the Spirit of God to lead and to guide you in all truth—for He is the Spirit of Wisdom and when you ask, He gives it liberally and unbraideth us not.

STRATEGY

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”—Philippians 4:6

If your aim and goal is to become the husband to the one you see a future with, you’ll need strategy. A strategy is “a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim”. Our strategy, as believers, is what Philippians 4:6 hints to us. We can’t be anxious about anything; including finding your future spouse. Our strategy is worship and petitions to God in Jesus’ name. But we also need natural strategies. You can’t pray all day and expect a perfect relationship.

You need accountability systems in place. You need boundaries in place. It is strongly suggested to have premarital counseling. You need to know how to take her on dates without the flesh taking over. All of this is strategy. You need keen eyes, wisdom, and strategy when pursuing your future wife.

Now, here is where we get to the crux of this article, “Why I Won’t Go “Hunting” For A Girl”. This is where I stand: there is a difference between chasing a girl and finding a wife. The world says “go find”. The Bible says “work and she’ll appear”. I know, I know! That’s totally contrary to what you’ve been taught. Me too. But could that be why you haven’t “found” her yet?

Let’s think for a minute. When Adam found Eve, he wasn’t pursuing her. He was content with working in his purpose and out of no where, Eve literally appeared to him. The Bible said the Lord God “brought her unto the man”. Let’s do some work.

If you find yourself chasing someone who is showing no interest in you, stop chasing her; or you’ll be wasting your time. Some get “lucky” with this method. Some don’t. Me? I’m not chancing it anymore. Here’s why…

Proverbs 18:22 says “he that findeth a wife…”

If you do some research, that word findeth is “matsa” in Hebrew, which means “to appear”. Adam was tending the garden (his place of purpose), doing what he was called to do. God caused a deep sleep fall upon Adam and made Eve to ‘appear’ to Adam. Then Adam identified and named her. What’s the principle? Men, you need to have an idea of purpose and/or need to be working in purpose. The wife is to be a helpmeet. The wife is not a sex object to fulfill your manly needs. The truth is, you don’t need a wife if you aren’t focused on your purpose. How will you know what type of wife is needed for your journey? If you aren’t working in your purpose or at least have an idea of it, what will she be helping you with? What will she be incubating beside a natural seed? I’ll wait…

I believe as you work your purpose, your wife will—sooner or later, in God’s kairos timing—appear before you. Hear me prophetically. Keep your eyes open? Yes. But stop talking to every single female you see that looks like a potential. Befriend? Sure. Jump into a relationship? Absolutely not. Men, we are not dogs hunting for other female dogs. We are men of God who should be focused on destiny.

Hear this prophetic wisdom: as you’re focused on purpose and destiny, I believe she will “matsa” (appear)!

Alright, lets talk. Did this help you?

Categories
Communication Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

2 Tips to Help Guard Against Intruders In Your Marriage

Cheerful couple relaxing together at home with cup of coffee.

Over the years, I have been seeing how today’s society doesn’t value the sanctity of marriage. More and more couples are experiencing the devastation of broken marriages and divorces. From a Christian perspective, God values marriage. God’s idea of marriage consists of an unbreakable covenant between a man and woman (Matthew 19:6). It is His desire that marriages be instruments that He can use to show the image of His faithfulness and everlasting love to the world (John 13:35).
At a marriage seminar a few years ago, my husband and I heard a powerful story surrounding the circular shape of your ring and how it is a symbol of protection from “invasions” into your relationship. We learned that it is important to cover your marriage and guard against “invasions” that seek to gain access to destroy your union. Here are 2 “invaders” that we learned to look out for to share for growth in your marriage:

  1. Time Stealers. Time is something that couples should invest in their marriage. It is too easy to let time stealers invade moments designed for quality time with the one you love. Be careful to not let subtle time stealers such as hobbies, emails, TV, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media become distractions that stunt growth. Here are a few tips to reclaim quality time to find intimate moments together:
  • Schedule weekly date nights.
  • Cook dinner together.
  • Send your spouse love notes by email and text during the day.
  • Cuddle while watching a movie.
  • Take a weekend to spontaneously travel and experience new things together.
  1. Emotion Stealers. Communication is a must have in your marriage. After all, intimate talks to share your heart, feelings, goals, and dreams deepen your marriage’s bond and connection. However, improper relationships can seek to “invade” the space that only belongs to your spouse. This can take the form of sharing your heart with someone of the opposite sex or “venting” to friends about your spouse. Remember, honoring your commitment to God and your spouse requires continual connection and communication to strengthen your marriage (Proverbs 4:23).

These 2 tips will help you guard against invasions to solidify growth and build your marriage as God’s platform to reflect Him and your commitment to Him for all to see.
Husbands and wives: Are there any other intruders that you could share that you have encountered in your marriage? Please feel free to share below!

Categories
Communication Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

3 Ways to Support Your Spouse During Life Challenges

Portrait Of Loving African American Couple In Countryside

In marriage, no couple is exempt from life challenges. Unexpected life situations happen that have the potential to create disconnections and disagreements that upset the balance of your relationship. Challenges come in the form of job changes, work-life demands, emotional struggles, and monetary setbacks. At these life turns, your spouse will need your encouragement and support.
Being grounded in God helps couples during the challenges of life. Ecclesiastes 4 speaks of two being better than one and a cord of three strands cannot be easily broken (vv. 9,12). When couples have God in the center of their marriage and friendship, His presence is the source of their strength through any challenges they face together.
Here are three practical ways to encourage and support your spouse that will continue strengthening your relationship when facing challenges:

  1. Spend time in prayer. When you and your spouse pray together, powerful things happen and your marriage is strengthened to withstand life challenges. 1 John 5:14-15 says how bold and free we become in His presence, freely asking according to His will because we know He is listening. And since we are confident God is listening, we already know that what we asked for is done.
  2. Major on love. Do you know the unique needs of your husband or wife? What is their love language that you can major on to provide support to them? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is the template for love and support. Not only does this passage of Scripture show us a visual of how to love others, it draws us closer to God as we mirror His example in our marriages.
  3. Elevate Your Partnership. The greatest gift is affirming, encouraging, and understanding what your spouse may be dealing with. Facing challenges as a unified team are opportunities to:
  • Be a good listener to communicate love and respect (James 1:19)
  • Have conversations that speak of value and commitment as you work and grow together (Colossians 4:6).
  • Grow your faith in God to navigate through the challenges of life (James 1:2-4).

Let’s start a conversation! How have you encouraged and supported your spouse? Please share in the comments below.
 

Categories
Communication Dating/Courting Single

I Think He’s The One…Or Is He?

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Have you found yourself going over a long list of qualities that you desire in a man?  Or have you met the one that you think is right for you, only to wonder if he is really the one God has sent?  Although you may have desires for your mate that are absolutes, the man that is perfect for you is the one that God has selected for you.
If you are in a place where you are in a new relationship or desiring one, here are 3 tips to consider to know if he is the one or not:

  1. Does he have passion for God? One way to know he is the one is seeing a true passion for God, where God is first in his life. If God is first, then he will respect your passion for God, morals, and values in the relationship.  The right one will not cause you to stray away from godliness (2 Corinthians 6:14). What does his prayer life, worship, and devotional life look like?  Take time to discern and make sure that the pursuit of God is the most important thing to ensure you are on the right path (Proverbs 3:5-6).
  2. Can you trust him? Trust is a huge part of being in a relationship. Communicating, making sure your actions match your words, and being integral are sure ways to measure trust and encourage the building of mutual love and respect (John 10:37). Here are some questions to consider regarding trust:
  • Does he protect you, cherish you, and support you?
  • Does he lead you with godly wisdom?
  • Are you comfortable sharing your goals and dreams with him?
  • Does he celebrate you as you fulfill your God-given destiny?
  1. Does he embrace your authenticity? A lot of times, women feel as if their past disqualifies them from a promising relationship with the one God presents. This is further from the truth.  The one that God sends will sharpen the authentic you through affirmation and support (Proverbs 27:17).  This means he is not ashamed of your testimony. In fact, he encourages the God in you to shine! You will know he is the one when he stays committed through all challenges and falls in love with you even more from it all (Romans 8:28).

Whether you are in a new relationship or desiring one, remember to pray and ask God if he is the one. Be open and follow whatever God speaks or shows you.  Are there any tips that you can add?  Please share!

Categories
Communication Home Marriage Parenting Spiritual Intimacy

3 Priorities to Build the Best Marriage Ever

Closeup portrait of a young couple, guy in yellow shirt kissing woman with blue shirt, happy moments, positive human emotions on isolated outdoors outside background.

Priorities are important for a godly marriage. When there is no order in your marriage, the enemy will major in creating division in your union. Here are 3 good and practical priorities to help keep your marriage flowing in line with God’s principles:

  1. Love God first. Mark 12:30 states to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” The Lord must be first in your marriage to keep the foundation of your marriage strong. When we love Him, we can love others from that outflow. Here are some ways to keep God in the #1 spot of your life:
  • Study the Word of God daily.
  • Spend time each day in prayer and worship with your spouse.
  • Encourage and spend time with other godly couples.
  1. Be your spouse’s best friend. Ephesians 5:22-25 speaks of how wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Likewise, husbands are to love their wives, as Christ loved the church. Your marriage and friendship are like a garden, what you plant is what you get out of it.

Remember romance and sex are important but building a friendship solidifies the foundation of your marriage. Scheduling date nights, taking spur-of-the-moment getaways, spending quality time without phone or computer distractions, and buying one another spontaneous gifts are some ways of keeping your relationship a priority.

  1. Don’t forget your children and family. The next priority after your marriage is your family. After all, ministry starts at home. 1 Timothy 5:8 says that if we do not care for our relatives and immediate family, then we deny the Christian faith and operate as unbelievers. What does making this a priority look like?
  • Creating a family mission statement that intentionally values Christlike development.
  • Spending time with your children to teach and raise them up as the next generation of leaders for Christ (Proverbs 22:6).
  • Building up, encouraging, and supporting your family to walk and keep growing in love of God.

These three practical priorities will cause love and grace to flow in your marriage. What other priorities could you set as a game changer for your marriage?