Class is back in session! While many have already started school and others are yet waiting, parents from all over are brimming with excitement to send their children back to school. August and September mark the beginning of the school year, and as such, school shopping is a primary concern for many parents across the U.S. But no need to fear, I have a great solution for you and your kids to start the school year off prepared… even on a budget. Here are 5 ways to save:
#1 it’s never too late-Create a budget and a plan!
So you may have missed your states tax-free weekend… Ideally, you would want to have everything purchased by the first week of school, but that may not have been possible. With all the last minute summer fun and family outings, somehow back to school shopping slipped your mind or has sunk to the bottom of your list. It’s okay, give yourself a break… it’s not too late! Determine what a reasonable budget is for your household for back to school shopping (including school clothes and supplies) and stick to it. There is always time to get what you need!
#2 Make your first purchases the necessities.
If you have to stick to a schedule of when certain things should be purchased, that’s okay! Whether it is a few items of school clothes/uniforms and some supplies, get what you can now and schedule accordingly to get the rest later. However, start off with the necessities that are appropriate for the age level and the class work they will be doing the first few weeks.
#3 Know what’s on the school supply list & prepare accordingly
Many schools publish the list of supplies before school starts and also provide the children with the list during the first week of school. It would be advantageous to check it out and then see what supplies you have lying around the house from previous years that you can use. Sometimes, everything we need is right in the house under our noses. (Also knowing what’s on the list helps you to do #4.)
#4 Check sales papers and watch for deals around town
There are several stores that have enormous back to school sales in August, huge Labor Day sales in September, and some stores even discount many items at a time. I know it may seem tedious, but if a store has all paper and pens for a $1 one week and all binders for a $1 the next week, what does it hurt to know about that sale and get in on the savings fun! ***For clothes shoppers: Knowing the deals also include knowing what stores have layaway and their layaway policy if you need to stretch the budget a bit.
#5 Don’t forget about the Internet
Believe it or not, there are some amazing deals on the Internet for not only back to school supplies, but back to school gear as well. Last year, I was able to find great deals on uniforms for my niece because a lot of local uniform stores did not carry what was required for her, but I did find the exact item reasonably priced online.
And remember: Be smart. Back to school shopping shouldn’t be just relegated to the months of August and September. Truthfully, as children sprout and grow, school shopping can be all year around! So keep a look out of ongoing sales and deals from your favorite store and take advantage of coupons, big sales/clearance events, and door buster bargains! Not only will it save you money, but it will also alleviate the pressure of having everything done by a certain time.
Month: August 2015
When a relationship doesn’t work out it can be very challenging having to adjust back to life without that person. Depending on how long and how serious the relationship and commitment was, the time it takes you to move forward will vary. I had one serious break up during college with a young lady that I one time believed I was going to marry.
Even though I was the one that ended the relationship, I still had times after the break up that I second-guessed my decision. It was during that time I had to turn to the Word of God to help me through that season of adjusting back to life without that person. I had to trust God’s leading regarding His future plan for my life.
If you have been broken up with, then God’s word will help you remember that God is in control and that the best is yet to come.
Here are the 10 scriptures that helped me during that season of my life:
1. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will straight your paths.”
2. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
3. Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall their be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
4. John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the World gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
5. Isaiah 41:10 ““Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
6. Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
7. Isaiah 55:8 “’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.”
8. Psalm 27:14 “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”
9. 1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.“
10. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. “
Going through a breakup is never easy, but when we turn our focus to God and mediate on the promises of His word, we are able to be comforted in a tough time. His word promises that He has good plans for you (Jer 29:11), that you cannot even dream up all the good things that God has prepared for those who love Him (1 Cor 2:9), and that there is a future hope for you that will not be cut off (Prov 23:18). Take heart! God is with you.
It is a known and accepted fact that 100% of married couples find themselves disagreeing about an issue at some point in their relationship. There is nothing wrong with conflict, because according to Dr. Gary Smalley, “conflict is a normal part of any relationship, the key is to learn how to resolve them without emotional injury.”
When my wife and I began to encounter our first round of conflict during the beginning of our marriage, I immediately learned that the true test of resolving without hurting our relationship wasn’t while we were in the “conflict ring,” but how we prepared outside of the “conflict ring.”
Before an argument or issue arose, we discussed, determined, and prepared how we would resolve the conflict with the end result being us learning more about one another, versus destroying one another. I call it, preparing while sober.
We came to an agreement of the things we didn’t want to see happen as a result of conflict. I learned my wife hates the silent treatment, and being made to look like the bad person. She learned that I don’t like destructive words, yelling, or attempting to push the issue under the rug.
Discussing these things while emotionally sober helped us to have an expectation and an agreed understanding of how to guard one another during conflict without hurting each other.
Now, how does that play out when the heat is on, emotions are high, and someone is upset in your marriage? You better believe it took many “practice” rounds for my wife and I until we learned that we must play by the rules.
Here are 3 ways to prepare for conflict so you’ll never have to sleep on the couch:
1. Find out what hurts each other the most during times of conflict.
We are all created differently, which means different things will affect us at different levels. By sitting down with your spouse and learning how conflict affects them and what hurts them the most, you will then know what not to do during moments of conflict.
2. Come to an agreement of what you will not do during times of conflict.
You need to create a “win-win” for your times of conflict by establishing agreements. It is these agreements that will help you fight fair. For my wife and I, we have an agreement that no matter what, we will never separate ourselves at night due to a disagreement. I also agreed to never raise my voice or hand at her no matter the situation. What are some agreements you and your spouse can establish to ensure you fight fair?
3. Don’t forget you’re on the same team.
When you enter into a time of conflict, you must not forget that you’re not fighting each other, but your fighting the issue that’s trying to come between you. You and your spouse are on the same team, even though you may feel at times that your spouse is against you. Do not allow pride to get into your heart causing you to view your spouse as your enemy. You’re on the same team! Fight the good fight!
Now, you may be reading this and you and your spouse are right in the middle of an unresolved conflict that’s now causing emotional strain in your marriage. I encourage you to seek outside help from a counselor or pastor. Don’t wait for one of you to give in, but agree that peace in your home must be more valuable than waiting to prove someone wrong. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.”
We have all heard the popular phrase, “You can’t have a testimony without a test.” This is very true, and if you ask anyone with a story what it took to get to where they are now, you better pull up a chair because they will keep you for days. As with personal testimonies and stories, every married couple also must face various tests throughout their journey.
Here are 4 tests every Godly marriage must face:
1. The “Keeping the Main Thing the Main thing” Test
Exodus 20:3 says, “You will not have any other gods before me.” God wants all of you, but after you get married this becomes a challenge in itself. It becomes clear very quickly why Apostle Paul states in 1 Corinthians 7:34, “ A married person has to think about earthly responsibility and how to please their spouse.” One translation even says a married person’s interests are divided. The first test every Godly marriage must go through is keeping God in first place. You will have the opportunity to replace him with so many other things including your spouse, but you must learn you are nothing without him.
2. The Unconditional Love Test
Christ-like love is the hardest love to imitate, yet that’s exactly what He calls us to do. John 13:35, states, “Your love for one another will prove to the World that you are my disciples.” Unconditional means no matter what, how, or when you must love your spouse unconditionally. This is much easier said than done. It takes daily dying to yourself to not allow your love for your spouse to be affected and conditional upon what they do.
3. The Good Steward Test
To whom much is given, much is required. Well, what do you do when you haven’t been given a lot? This is where many of us fail to realize the riches we have been entrusted with. God is not concerned about the quantity, but rather with the quality. Every married couple must face the test of being good stewards of their finances. This is done by first giving back to God a portion of what He has entrusted you with. This is literally one of the most challenging things for couples. This is why God says in Malachi for us to test him in this area and see the great reward we will receive, because He knew this would be hard for us to do. Be a good steward of your finances by remembering who the Owner is, and managing the wealth He has entrusted you with well.
4. The Faithfulness Test
Faithfulness can be applied to so many different areas of your life, but the one I would like to focus on is being faithful to your promises. You made a promise on your wedding day when you read aloud your vows. My wife and I actually watch our wedding video each anniversary to be reminded of the vows we made to each other. Staying faithful to those vows to love her unconditionally, lead her like Christ leads the church, protect her like her Father did, provide for her no matter the circumstance, and guard my heart from any other thing stealing it away is vital to a healthy and happy marriage. These vows are important, and they will be tested. But, you must remain faithful to the promise you made, because it is out of your story that many will be inspired to do the same.
Every marriage will be tested. Its not a question of if, but rather when. However, when we learn to handle testings well, the only thing that can come from them is growth and greater intimacy. I encourage you today to view your marital tests as an opportunity to become stronger as a unit, and not allow them to divide you or create chaos. Allow the testings that come your way to make you one!
Categories
Are You Really Listening?
Just this past Saturday I played another game of tennis in which I lost. In fact I haven’t won a game all year, but I still love the game and continue to play. One of the wonderful things I like about playing tennis is how social the game is. In fact, after a match I spoke with one of my frequent opponents about marriage. I told him about how I’ve been helping people with their marriages and there seems to be a common theme. When there are issues within a marriage, it seems that a lot of times this is because no one is listening to each other. I often find myself saying to them, you are both right and you are both wrong.
I have found this to be true in my marriage. I find myself being very frustrated when I tell my wife that I like doors closed and lights off when one leaves the room, but she continues to leave doors open and lights on. I’m very certain that she gets frustrated with me when she finds my clothes laying on the floor next to the hamper instead of being in the hamper. I know these may seem like trivial requests, but since they are important to each of us and therefore they are important and should be treated as such.
Many of the people that I interact with are highly motivated professionals who seek advancement in their careers. They are committed to success and do whatever it takes to succeed in what they do. When their boss makes requests of them, they do whatever it takes to meet the goal of the task. They take the boss’ request very seriously and comply. Of course they do this because it is their job and if they would like to keep their jobs, so they will do what it takes to make sure they do. Individuals will read and attend training and seminars in order to ensure that they meet and exceed the expectations of their bosses. They know what to do to succeed at their job because they LISTEN to their boss.
What I find baffling is that we apply this focus and tenacity to our jobs, but will not apply the same focus and tenacity to our families. I believe that’s what probably frustrates many spouses. They see their mate working so hard to please their bosses, but when they get home they’re not as intentional when it comes to listening to their families needs and pleasing their families. I was at one time guilty of this. I am an academic advisor and I noticed that I was patient and extra-accommodating to my students, but I didn’t extend the same courtesy to my family. I then had a epiphany: I would have my family forever and this job is very temporary. My family needs my patience and listening ear, and I must accommodate them in every way possible. They are my family. They are my responsibility. They need my care and attention much more than my students do.
I am not suggesting that we should approach our families as jobs. Jobs are something that we must do. We should look at our families as our passions. We should look at them as something that we enjoy working at in order to have the most enjoyable family life possible. I often find myself checking in with my wife to make sure that she is enjoying our marriage. I make sure I am doing what’s necessary to please my wife. She does the same. I suggest you do the same. Ask your spouse a simple question, “How are we doing?”. Brace yourself you may or may not like what you hear. Listen to them and believe them. They are not “trippin,” that is their perspective and that is their truth. Since they are your spouse and you are one, it is your truth.
When many of us list our top priorities we say God, family, careers, etc. Make sure you are being honest. Make sure you treat your family as if they are more important than any job you will ever have. Listen to them and their needs and act on the truth that they share with you. Do that, and they will believe that you truly love them.
Be blessed and enjoy your day,
Joel Pearson.
Categories
4 Investments to Protect Your Marriage
I can remember my single years like it was yesterday and how I continuously asked God how He was going to reveal my spouse to me. Would a light come out of the sky? Would she glow like an angel? Would I hear trumpets play when our eyes caught each other?
There are no two stories that are the same, but there are two things we can learn from the marriage of Adam and Eve that help us to see both how and when God will reveal your spouse to you.
1. God Will Reveal Your Spouse in the Right Season.
We see with Adam and Eve that Adam was living his life in complete purpose before God decided it was time for him to have a helpmate that was suitable to help him for the next phase of fulfilling his destiny.
Adam was right where God wanted him and doing exactly what He called him to do, and that my friend is one of the biggest keys to God revealing to you your spouse.
You must be in the right season of your life before God will reveal your spouse. God’s ways are so much higher than our ways, and He knows exactly what He is doing.
What does it look like to be in the right season? A season that God’s peace will be able to be released into the relationship. What does a wrong season look like? Maybe you’re still getting over another relationship, or you may have a lot of unhealthy opposite sex friendships that are preventing you from recognizing the one because your attention is focused in other places.
This is all pivotal for being in the right season where your heart is fixed on God and his purpose for your life.
2. God Will Reveal Your Spouse In the Right Environment.
The next key thing we see with Adam and Eve is that Adam was in the right environment that was conducive for his development, growth, and fulfillment of purpose.
Now, how does that transfer into today’s World since we no longer have a Garden of Eden to live in.
Finding yourself in the right environment today means being around the right people and spending time in the right places. Why is this important? Because God requires in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that we be equally yoked with in our relationships. By putting ourselves in the right environments, its most likely we will meet someone who also is spending their time with the right people and in the right places.
These are two key in positioning yourself to be in a place where God can reveal your spouse. When you take the time to be faithful in the season that you’re in and also be sure to center yourself with the right people in the right places, then you are setting yourself up for a successful revealing of your spouse
The idea of an exceptional marriage is a fleeting thought for many people. To be exceptional at anything takes a different mindset and usually a different type of intentional journey compared to others. I want to encourage you to be determined and dedicated to having an exceptional marriage.
First, I think it is important to ponder the following statement:
A fool doesn’t know they are a fool.
People that act foolishly rarely know or willingly admit they are a fool while they are participating in the foolish behavior. It is only after time that they can look back and maybe admit they were foolish.
I am always wondering if the way I am thinking, responding, acting, working is foolish or not.
I think that people who know they can, at any time, be acting like a fool in their marriage have a shot at living in the exceptional marriage. It is with an attitude of humility–a willingness to see and hear the truth–that your spouse and your Creator can speak into your life.
Let’s look at 6 elements of an exceptional marriage:
1. Realizing you can’t have it all
I am an average golfer. I used to be a lot better when I was young as I used to golf several times a month. I now golf twice a year on average. You could tell me that I could be an incredible golfer if I put the time in, which may be true, but I am not going to put the time in.
I think one of the most damaging ideas to the exceptional marriage is that you can have it all. Couples that can have an exceptional marriage, an amazing family, and stellar careers are in the far minority. I know there are certain people who live the exception. People may think I’m in that category as I work a full time job, a part-time youth pastor, married, have 3 kids, and in graduate school. But, my wife and I both know our limitations. We give our best to the responsibilities and opportunities we have, but we may never be exceptional at it all. I tell people that I am a average youth pastor and an average student right now. Something is going to suffer when juggling all the roles I have, and I will not allow my marriage or family to take the hit.
If you are maxed out in your time and financial commitments, talk to your spouse about cutting something. When our first child came along, we chose to prioritize what we dreamed of for our family over the status of having a nicer, more impressive home. We didn’t want to live enslaved to huge debt, and Alisa wanted to be able to stay home with the children. Our modest 1031 square home was the perfect start to our ideal. Today I was driving my 2002 car into a parking full of Cadillac’s and Mercedes. I decided to not have it all with the car so that we could allocate more money towards family bonding experiences.
Don’t buy into the lie you can have it ALL, because for the vast majority of people it is not possible. Be free of thinking you need to have it all. Focus on the things you have determined are important and critical, and then put your time and money into those things instead of stuff.
2. Sacrifice with a smile
I rode the school bus for 13 years. When I was in elementary school we sat in the front of the bus and the senior high students always sat in the back of the bus. I couldn’t wait until I was in senior high so I could sit in the back. I thought it was a privilege to sit in the back. Here is a thought, why didn’t us Senior Highers allow the freshmen to sit in the best seats?
One University I know of allows the freshmen to have the best seats in the student section right behind the vistors bench so they can yell the whole time. What a great tradition they have of giving the freshmen the best seats!
What if us men were like Baylor Univerity and gave our wife the best? Men, if you want to have an exceptional marriage, you need to sacrifice for your wife often and consistently. She is your one-of-a-kind, priceless gift.
If she likes vanilla ice cream and you like chocolate, buy the vanilla.
If she likes to have coffee early in the morning, go to the coffee shop early with her.
If she needs help, ask her what she needs and exceed what she asked for.
If you usually pick out the movie, start letting her choose.
Start to sacrifice more often and you will find yourself in a exceptional marriage.
3. Your sole mate
I believe it is possible to be married to your sole mate. Yes, you read that correctly. I did not say soul mate, but your sole mate.
One of the elements of a exceptional marriage is the singular affection and attention you give just to your wife.
The declarative statements you made on your wedding day are needed just as much today as then. Tell your wife frequently that you would chose her all over again.
Let her see by your eyes that she is the apple of your eye.
Let her know by your words that there is no one else like her.
Several years ago, you told your wife that you would be with her till death do you part. Tell her again. In fact keeping telling her that she is your sole mate and there won’t be another one in your life.
4. The 6th love language: Confrontation
Gary Chapman’s landmark book, The Five Love Languages, enlightened so many couples on the 5 main ways to express and receive love.
When most people hear the word confrontation, it brings feelings of negativity, not love. But, confrontation isn’t a negative thing when it’s wrapped in gentleness or comfort. Whether it’s correcting children, or needing to talk to a coworker or friend to address something wrong, we will all need to bring comfortation to others in our lives at some point. Yes, comfort-ation is the word I use to help me in making sure I bring wisdom and comfort in the midst of a wrong, instead of a self-righteousness attitude.
We must have the same attitude in marriage.
If you love your spouse, one of the ways you many need to show love to them is to confront them on something they may be doing that has the potential to hurt them or those around them. Most people run away from correction, but we must realize what the Bible says, that wounds from a friend can be trusted. Correction helps you grow. Receive the comfort of their love in this way. They can be trusted.
The book of wisdom says, “Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.” Last night my wife confronted me in a loving, comforting way. I was sharing a prideful opinion and she brought it to my attention to make sure that I was not getting into the ditch of pride. I loved it.
Do you lovingly confront your spouse? Guys, does your wife do that to you? The next time she confronts you, tell her that you love her even more because she is helping you become a better man.
5. Remember why you were first drawn to each other.
One of the qualities in my wife that first drew me to her was her contentment. She could be happy, joyful, and at peace praying in a field or taking a nature walk. I loved that simplicity.
I am quite the opposite. I find joy, happiness, and peace doing lots of productive activities.
Do you see the potential for error in my last statement? To me, a full schedule often equals productivity (and vice versa). I sometimes think of simplicity and productivity as opposites. I naturally think people who are doing lots of stuff are productive, and those who favor a simple more relaxed schedule are unproductive. I can think that someone like my wife is being unproductive by simply enjoying nature, journalling, etc. That is what can happen when you forget why you were first drawn to each other.
Men, remember why you were first drawn to your wife and thank God that she is that way. Don’t try to change who she is at the core. If you loved her spontaneity when you first met, realize that she will be spontaneous, and no matter what you do–she may not ever be as structured as you.
If you were drawn to her take charge attitude, don’t get irritable years later when she still wants to take the lead in certain ways. It’s part of who she was made to be.
6. Dates
If you have more dates with Monday Night Football than you do with your wife in the fall, then you have a problem.
If you have more dates with the X-Box, golf course, or the Game of Thrones, then you have a problem.
Instead, go on a weekly date so your marriage stays fresh and exceptional. There are countless ways to go on dates that cost no money or are very inexpensive.
What night/afternoon is the best time for both of you to go on a date? Text your wife right now if you don’t have anything planned and tell her you want to take her out on ________ night.
Bonus Element
Another element of the exceptional marriage is to encourage your spouse to go to activities and events that make them come alive. My wife goes to a women’s conference in Dallas every year. My church also had a women’s conference this year. My initial thinking was that she choose one conference this year and not do both.
But, she wanted to do both.
I said go and do both.
Men, if you want your marriage to thrive, then encourage your spouse to attend things that make they come alive.
It is worth it.
If you do these elements, you will continue to have that rare exceptional marriage.
Question: What night are you taking your wife out this week?
People are falling in love every single day. It is clear that liking someone, falling in love, and becoming intimate is very easy to do today. The challenging part is to do it all in God’s timing and His way. Does doing it God’s way make it the perfect way? Absolutely not. No matter what or how you do a relationship it will always be a risk.
Whether you’re single, courting, or even engaged it is best to understand God’s process by which He desires to take a couple through the progression of a healthy relationship.
On Thursday, August 20th at 8:30 PM Natasha and I will be sharing our story of how God took us through 5 stages that led us from meeting on Facebook to marrying all in 9 months. It is our prayer that this webinar helps you to see how to do it God’s way protecting you from playing games with your or someone else’s heart.
Click here to register now before the spots fill up!
I grew up in a semi Christian home where my mom was a strong believer, but my dad was just a really good man with no desire to go to church. This produced within me a very hypocritical Christian. I said and did one thing in church order to keep my mom happy, but lived a complete different lifestyle outside of the church.
This hypocritical spirit also followed me into my dating life. I said one thing, and actually did something completely different. I ended up getting caught up in a relationship where I began to compromise with a lot of my already preset standards. Yes, even as a man I had standards for myself. This relationship really helped me to see where my heart was with God.
It was from this relationship that God spoke to me and said, “Jamal, If you continue compromising now you will compromise for the rest of your life”.
This was a MAJOR turning point in my relationship with God and also my relationship with women.
After that relationship, I didn’t involve myself with another serious relationship for 5 years as I allowed God to really deal with my heart.
The next serious relationship I got into would be with my now wife. When we started dating, I was determined to do it “God’s Way” and be “pure”. But, as we grew closer all of this was questioned and the age old question came up. How far is really too far to be considered “pure?”
Is holding hands too far?
Is kissing too far?
Is being alone in the car too far?
Is cuddling too far?
Is looking into each other’s eyes too far?
Is laying in the bed with your clothes and lights on too far?
What is really TOO FAR?
I asked God this because I seriously wanted to honor him, but I quickly realized that the standards we set were always so easily manipulated. I stumbled upon two verses that really helped me shape my thinking:
- “Someone may say, “I’m allowed to do anything,” but not everything is helpful. I’m allowed to do anything, but not everything encourages growth.” 1 Corinthians 10:23
- “The pure in heart shall see God.”Matthew 5:8
These verses helped me to see that even though others may say, “oh its cool you can do that, but just be careful with this” that it opens the door for legalism and gray confusing areas. Purity is not a line to be crossed, it’s a posture of the heart.
The second verse I mentioned says, the pure in heart shall see God. If at all times we kept our minds focused on God, versus focusing on how far we can go without crossing the line, then we actually will stay on the right path towards honoring God.
My wife and I didn’t focus on crossing lines, but rather honoring God with every decision we made. Was it easy? Absolutely not. Did we have weak moments? Absolutely yes. We were blessed to experience our first kiss after we got engaged, and waited until our wedding night to have sex. Did we do it perfectly, nope. But, we did our best to keep our hearts pure before God and thousands have been blessed by our story.
My desire to maintain physical boundaries was an outward expression of my heart’s desire to honor God and stay away from compromise.
Stop focusing on the line, and start focusing on honoring God, and I guarantee you things will become a lot more clearer in your pursuit to be holy and pure in your relationship.
On Thursday, we will be hosting a FREE Webinar for singles and courting couples. It would be a great opportunity for you to learn the steps that need to be taken to have a successful Godly courtship.
Click here to join us.