Month: July 2015

Categories
Parenting

3 Benefits of Enrolling Your Child in Summer Camp

School is out, bags are being packed, and travel plans are being made or fulfilled. Summer time is a time of fun for children! I have some of my fondest memories from my summer breaks. Little did I know that these breaks were often times stressful and worry-filled for my parents. Before I was of an age to stay at home by myself, the main concern that my parents had was safe, sound, and affordable supervision.
 
It was relatively easy to find some sort of program for me to attend during the day because I was an athlete. Basketball and football camps are prevalent and in demand during the summer months and obviously beneficial.  However, what options are available to the parents of children who are not athletically inclined? I have one answer: SUMMER CAMP!
Some children and parents have abstentions with summer camp. It can be scary. It can be costly. It can be inconvenient, especially if the location is far from mom and/or dad’s job or the home.
So to put parents at ease about summer camp, below are 3 benefits of children and teens attending summer camp:

  1. Supervision! This is the most obvious reason. Children and teens are in constant need of guidance, supervision, and boundaries. These, among academic excellence and intellectual stimulation, are primarily the central responsibilities of school. However, the research is clear that children/teens need consistency and summer camp can be a fun and less rigorous extension of school.
  1. Teaches interpersonal skills. Summer camp is usually a grouping of children from varied backgrounds and upbringings. If this is not the case, make it a point to place your children in an ethnically diverse environment. The world is not a silo and interacting with their peers in camp will let children gain experience and much need exposure to different cultures and mindsets.

Important Note: Although all summer camps should promote teamwork, acceptance, and tolerance, a diverse camp can teach campers how to communicate effectively in unfamiliar environments and situations.
Often times there are language barriers, intellectual differences, economic barriers and the like that would otherwise limit communication. However, in a group environment such as camp, these limits can become opportunities for growth! Skills such as these are an integral part of the maturation process to adulthood!

  1. Enrichment activities: Summer camps provide a host of academic and social activities that are designed to keep children’s development on par with their appropriate grade levels. Often times, what makes camp more enjoyable are the exposure to other activities that aren’t explored as much during the school year. For example, fine arts are being pushed further and further out of public school and summer camp is a way to supplement that deficiency. In fact there are camps that are built around fine arts and other activities such as dance, culture, language, sports, art, singing, etc.

Now this all sounds good right? Of course it does! But there may be some hesitation to enroll your child if the price of camps are problematic, which is understandable. So here are some tips that may help subsidize the costs and allow your young ones to grow and explore in new ways.
1. Save throughout the year. Create a budget that will allow you to put back money every pay period to pay for summer camp.

  1. Research child subsidy programs in your city/county/state/country that will assist in paying for summer camp or child care. Contact governmental agencies such as the Department of Health and Human Services and Administration for Children and Families.
  1. Seek out camps with scholarship opportunities. Many times church camps and non-profit organizations receive grant money that will pay for the entire program or give scholarships to families in need.

Whatever method you decide, it’s a great investment and beautiful experience for lifelong memories! Simply put, summer camp is AMAZING!!!
 

Categories
Finances Marriage

6 Steps to Planning the Ultimate STAYcation Saving You A LOT of Money

Awe, summer is upon us and we have made it through the color of fall, the freeze of winter, and the unpredictability of spring. But summer is a whole different can of worms. A few things we know about summer is: it will be HOT, there will be block buster movie releases, our kids will be out of school, there will be countless road trips, weddings and family reunions documented on social media and our professional office environments may present a sliding scale of co-worker attendance who have opted to partake in the summer fun.
And then there is you. You and the spouse have talked about getting away for a trip or two throughout the year, but it never has happened.
Enter the stay-cation (the local vacation).
This year you are determined to not only to take some sort of vacation, but make a plan, keep the plan, and do it. Of course, because it is already July, Jamaica or Cozumel may not be in the budget, but there are a few things that can be done for the spontaneous and or budget conscious traveler.
It is called the Stay-cation or local vacay! And what a jewel it is indeed! Of course before you go running through your city streets claiming to indulge in one of these gems, some planning may be required for you and your family. Here are some tips on how to plan and pull off the ultimate in-town retreat!

  1. Decide the goal of the stay-cation. Whether it is to unplug and unwind, rekindle, catch-up, or cuddle up, between you and your spouse, this decision should be made and agreed to so that all agendas are cleared from interruption and all intentions are clarified from the beginning to avoid confusion.
  1. Decide where in-town you want to go (city or suburbs). This is big because this determines how far away you want to travel if you live in a bigger city or wouldn’t mind journeying an hour or two down the highway to feel like you’re in a new place. This is also important if you want just spouse to spouse time or family time, meaning if you have children to consider and may need a sitter you may not feel comfortable straying too far.
  1. Decide on activities. This is a biggie. What are the activities that you want to do together or as a family that you just haven’t had time for but would possibly do if you went a vacation elsewhere. Could it be going to the movies, indulging in a spa day, checking out an exhibit at a museum, going to a lounge to hear good music or check out a concert that will be in your area, or the simplest of them all just stay in bed all weekend with no agenda or schedule.
  1. Decide and commit on budget for activities and if possible plan ahead. Spontaneity is great but it’s not fun taking your spouse out of the house for a weekend and you have to remain on a super tight or low budget. There is nothing wrong with budgeting but for some people, they would prefer to do things at home if there is a constraint.
  1. Discuss strategy for childcare if applicable: will the child or children be in town during the summer, or will they be away with a friend or family member. This is important because if the child takes summer trips too it may be a good idea for spouse to vacay while the child is away.
  1. Decide the frequency of the stay-cation. Yes, frequency! With things such as time and budget constraints or childcare to consider, the stay action may the best and most feasible plan for family vacation or weekend getaways with your spouse. So with that in mind, the frequency is left up to you to decide. It could be one epic summer vacay weekend that you tackle a few bucket list items at a time, or it can be a commitment to break from the norm each quarter or season of the year to spend that QT with your baby, or it could be just one night once a month to just get away.

Again, it’s whatever you and the spouse decide, BUT whatever you decide make sure that the enthusiasm and/or willingness about your stay-cation choice is met equally from both sides! Happy Planning!

Categories
Marriage Physical Intimacy

What Happened When We Went 15 Days Without Sex

A few years ago when I was adamant about studying marriage in the bible, I came across a scripture that made me raise my eyebrows, “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that satan will not temp you because of your lack of self control.“ (1 Corinthians 7:5).
My then carnal mind could not understand deprivation with mutual consent to devote to prayer. Why would anyone want to not have sex with their spouse? Aren’t we supposed to be fruitful and multiply? What I didn’t get was that though my husband is the head of this family, God is the head of our lives. We have to be able to sacrifice absolutely everything for Him.
Recently, I asked my husband to conduct a project with me. I wanted to follow the scripture to see how it affects our marriage and document it.
My husband and I love each other immensely, so when I asked him to do this for me he agreed: 15 days, no sex, then 15 days of sex. The first couple of days were difficult because we are normally intimate every other night.
It was also trying because our communication seemed to be thrown off as well and we were clashing on small things. One night I began feeling the pressure of not being intimate not only sexually, but spiritually. I decided to pray, and pray hard, and God revealed something to me. We were not fully committing to the scripture.
 
All we did was eliminate sex, but we did not use that time to devote to seeking God. We should have used that time to pray together and to wait on God. We didn’t realize that we were supposed to treat this as fasting from sex, not starve ourselves altogether. “Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers. Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high.” (Isaiah 58:4)
 
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The issue was that we were doing as we pleased during our time of fasting. Instead of having sex, we were watching TV. We worked and we spent time with our daughter, but we did not spend more time with God.
Once we realized that we weren’t fasting for the right reasons or in the right way and began to use the fast to seek God, we were able to understand each other and connect on a greater level. We were on the same page and were even able to come up with a business plan for the business we had been trying to create for many years.
At first the fast seemed to be tearing us apart and pulling us further away from each other intimately. But, after we began to not only fast from sex, but actually implement prayer time as well, I saw such a shift in our marriage.
 
Now that we are acknowledging God as the head of our marriage, prayer has become a major communication tool and a key to our intimacy. When we are not intimate with each other physically, we know that we have to spend that time being intimate spiritually by devoting ourselves to communicating with Christ; that’s the only way the fast works. The point of a fast is not to simply remove something from your life, but rather to remove a distraction so that you can press your focus fully into Christ.
 
Once we shifted our focus on Christ, we saw a great increase in our spiritual intimacy. If you and your spouse are struggling with spiritual intimacy, try fasting from sexual intimacy for a time in order to focus solely on your spiritual relationship.
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Categories
Communication Marriage

3 Common Mistakes Christian Husbands Make

 
I’m her husband. I truly try to invest into my marriage, but I’m also 100% fallible and notoriously accident prone. One time when we were courting, we strolled under a canopy of trees as gale-force winds took down several branches. Sarah watched helplessly as a thick, seven foot limb plummeted towards me. She shrieked, and I obliviously took three large strides forward as the monstrous limb shattered only feet behind me.
 
Similarly, I would say that many husbands, yes, even Christian husbands cluelessly gallivant through their marriages, narrowly escaping disaster with no one to thank but the Lord Himself. We mean well and try hard, but sometimes fail.
 
 
These three mistakes are all too common among Christian husbands:
 
1. Being too passive. Passivity is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. For a plethora of causes, husbands are passive in their spiritual leadership, passive in their jobs, passive in their household responsibilities, or passive towards their wives. A passive man is like an aloof man walking under dead limbs on a windy day.
As Christian husbands, we sometimes fail to rise to a challenge by refusing to confront what keeps us, our wives, or our families from growing in the Lord, all in the name of waiting for it to “pan out.” Some trials call for us to “wake” Jesus to calm the storm; other times demand that we command the mountain to be removed. (Mk. 4:35-41, Mk. 11:23) Whatever it is, men (and women) of God need to be bold as lions! (Proverbs 28:1)
 
 
2. Being too aggressive. When we were in Bible school, my wife was immersed full-time in corporate America and I went to Bible school full-time and worked 24-30 hours a week. My wife was removed from the “spiritual bubble” that I was in. As I was pumped full of faith and boldness, my wife felt spiritually malnourished and exhausted. “Have no fear, I’ll save you!” I thought. I rushed in and force-fed my wife with power-packed sermons. One day, in her exasperation, she said to me, “Dan, I don’t need a pastor, I need a husband.” Boldness is not synonymous with hardness. No, she doesn’t want you to lambast her with out-of-context Scriptures, but she does want you to nurture her, cover her, and demonstrate true sincerity and pure devotion in your love for her. There are times when she needs the bold warrior in you to rise up and slay dragons; just don’t assume that it’s every time.
 
 
3. Being too “optimistic.” I’ve heard many Christian wives complain about their husbands’ inability to face trials because they adapt an escapist’s Christianity, meaning they refuse to deal with shortfalls in their personal lives, children’s lives, or marriages, and they chalk it up to “God has it under control.” In the context of marriage, husbands are often guilty of getting out the “repair kit” and “fixing” the problems at hand, rather than slowing down and asking the Lord what He desires to accomplish.
Yes, friends, God does have it under control, but He also dispatched His remnant on planet earth to represent His heart for the nations and champion victory in our lives! “False optimism” often has its root in passivity. So, the next time you watch your house descend into chaos, remember that the Lord is counting on you to restore order and tranquility to your home.
I Timothy 3: 4-5 – “He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?)”
 
 
Question: What do you think? What mistakes do you see yourself making as a Christian husband, or what mistakes do you see Christian husbands making?
 
 

Categories
Communication Marriage

The Prideful Marriage: How To Know If You Are In One

 
Have you noticed the underlying theme in marriage vows?  Although a lot of people write their own marriage vows today, the traditional one says, “I take thee, (spouse), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…”
 
I see a theme of humility in these vows–a mutual humility.  Humility in marriage is unfortunately a rarity today . But, I think the best and strongest marriages have a foundation of mutual humility–an attitude that thinks more highly of the other person than of oneself, an attitude that is willing to listen, defer, please and respect the other.
 
I wrote a blog post several weeks ago and one of the reactions I suspected I might see was Pride. There were several people who commented there was no way they thought a man should ever train their wife, even though I shared in the comments the power of how my wife trains me. I had other people immediately message me privately and tell me that training is the wrong word and that I should have used another word.
 
I challenged that assertion because I don’t want such a great word as training to be hijacked.  Training is simply instructing and assisting someone who wants to become better at something.  Several people shared with me that they realized the reason they didn’t like the word train was because they were prideful. A couple individuals even said that after thinking about it more, they went to their spouses, and even  told their spouses, that they are open to be trained by their spouse.
 
That is beautiful.  Do you see the power in that statement “They are open.”
 
The greatest employees I’ve worked with were also the most humble people I worked with.  Two people come to mind first, and they are both unbelievably successful now, which I could foresee over a decade ago.  They exuded humility because they would often come into my meetings and say words like this, “What do I need to improve on?”  “Is there anything you think I should change or focus more on?”  “Give me the truth, how was that last session I led, etc?” They showed that they were humble, wanted to grow, and were willing to be trained. They were open to input from others. Do you have that same spirit in your marriage?
 
Men, if you were to ask your wife to rate you on a scale of 1-10 on your pride vs. teachability in marriage, what would she give you?  Find a time this week to ask her.
 
 
Here are 2 ways to know if you are bringing pride into your Marriage:
 
1. Have you ever said comments like this:
I’m not going to spend my whole life being corrected.
I’m an independent person.
I don’t need anyone to teach me anything.
I’ve already heard this before.
Don’t tell me how to live my life.
You’re always correcting me. Focus on yourself instead of me.
Yes, I am playing video games, but you go shopping all the time.
 
These comments show a closed heart of pride, an unwillingness to consider someone else’s input, and an underlying suspicion that anyone who offers advice or assistance is doing so because of ill-intent. Instead determine to have these words on your lips:
 
Thank you for loving me enough to share that with me.
What wisdom do you see that I’m lacking in this area?
I failed you again, but I’m committed to learning, growing, and changing.
Please help me by sharing what you feel I need to change.
Thank you.
What do you think should I do?
 
2. You are agitated, irritable, and often defensive with your spouse
Guys, it is awesome that your wife is different than you!  It is good that she thinks differently and has unique gifts and differing strengths than you.  Value those differences instead letting frustration or pride grow because of them.  For example, instead of wishing she was more organized, be grateful that she is a gifted leader. Instead of wishing she didn’t bring up your spending habits, be grateful that she cares enough about the family finances to want to help you with it.  Instead of hoping she doesn’t ask about your lack of interaction with the kids, be grateful God has given you someone to challenge you to be a greater dad than you were yesterday.
Repent of being irritable and defensive to your spouse and start to focus on the strengths she has that you don’t.  Pride will slowly start to melt in your life if you do this.
 
 
If at some point during the reading of this post, you  may have become angry at the words written. If so, that is a good indicator that pride is alive in your life. If it is in your life, then it probably it is in your marriage.
Question: What day this week are you going to ask your spouse about the Pride in your marriage?
 
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

5 Ways to Get Over the Person Who Left You

A few weeks ago I decided to take a stroll down memory lane, reflecting on all my past relationship/situationships. As I struggled to recall details of past relationships, I realized “God favored me”. I, like most people, have dealt with situations that had the potential to leave me deep in a depression, with low self-esteem, and perhaps even suicidal.
 
But some how, I escaped with small traces of low-self esteem and a tad bit of sadness, which faded away with time.
 
Reflecting on this, I thought I’d share how I got over the ones who left me:
 
 
1. Make Up Your Mind!
The bible lets us know that a double minded man is unstable in all his ways! You have to make a decision that you are done, and refuse to go back. It’s simple, either you are completely done or you’re not. If you’re not, stop reading (lol).
 
2. Eliminate All Means of Communication.
Nope, you can’t be friends. Sorry! In this stage of vulnerability, it’s imperative that you separate yourself. With one ex, I actually deleted my twitter because it’s origin was to keep an eye on him. I brought a new phone because we used BBM a lot, and I blocked his post from my newsfeed on FB.
I was hopeful that one day we could be friends, so I didn’t want to defriend him totally. Don’t accept the phone call or text. Communication is a way of keeping your heart involved, even when you think you aren’t.
 
3. Worship.
Worship is the BEST way to turn your heart towards God. Spending time with the mender of broken hearts will ensure the pain eventually fades.
 
4. Pray.
Duh, right! But many can’t pray effective prayers because they haven’t made a decision (see point 1). I would encourage whomever this blog is for to pray this, or a similar prayer: “Lord, clear my mind of every negative memory and remove every spiritual attachment. In my experience, these are the two areas that are the most haunting.
 
5. TURN UP!
Well, not literally! Turn up as in, enjoy life! Time waits for no man; therefore, you cant afford to spend a day, a week, or even a year in sadness. The more time you waste, the less effective you are in moving the cross. I don’t know about you, but I would rather move mountains for the one who gave his WHOLE life for me than waste precious time dwelling on the one who left!
 
I hope I haven’t given the impression that getting over someone you genuinely loved is as easy as 1,2,3 because its not. On the other hand, with God nothing is impossible!
 
XOXO,
Shannon C Colar
Lovebyencouragement.com

Categories
Finances

5 Reasons Why God Wants You to be Wealthy

Categories
Engaged Home Marriage

How to Let Your Man Lead You

One question I always get is how do I let my husband lead me? Usually, the issue is the husband may be an unbeliever or he may have a laid back personality. There are several things that strong women can do to make sure their husbands feel able and free to lead them.  I will share some below.
 
1.  Learn his leadership Style– Not everyone leads the same way; it is important to learn his leadership style. It may be different than yours,  but choose to learn it and allow him to lead the way he knows how.
 
2. Check yourself- Do you always want things done your way? Do you get upset when things do not look like what you want them to look like? You really need to get to the root issue of your own actions. Some of us like to say we are “Type A,” but in reality  we are actually controlling. There is a difference between the two and we need to check it, especially if we are married.
 
3. Make space for him to lead- Often times men won’t lead unless we create space for them to lead. We always want things done a certain way or done when we want them to be done. When we act this way, we are not making room for him to lead.
 
4. Allow him to make mistakes- You need to be aware that leading and being the head of a relationship is very scary. Help your man understand how much you love him and support him; let him know that he does not need to do everything perfectly, he just needs to try.
 
5. Learn each other’s strengths- If you guys can understand each other’s strength, you can then see who is best at leading what. One may be good at accounting, another at organizing trips, etc. Learn what each of you do well, and work together on leading that.
 
6. Pray for him- Pray that God will give him wisdom to make good decision and  continuously cover him. The Holy Spirit can teach him how to lead you.
 
7. Be patient- Remember, things take time. People need time to shift into new behaviors. If you have a discussion about changes that both of you are going to put into action, allow each other time to grow into your new roles.

Categories
Home

6 Steps to Turning Your Mundane Season Into a Purposeful Season

Seasons are a big part of my home state’s identity. Minnesota has four distinct seasons, each with its own set of unique characteristics and qualities.
Right now, it’s Summer. Summer in Minnesota is HOT. Just because we’re always portrayed as lumberjacks toughing out the bitter cold doesn’t mean it’s always below zero. Today was a particularly humid, hot summer day and I found myself longing for fall.
I stopped myself in the middle of my thought, realizing how silly this was.
If it was already Fall, that would mean I’d be going back to school already (I’m a teacher). I would have missed out on lake days, camping, flexibility in my schedule, traveling, and bonfires. Now sure, Fall has a lot to look forward to, but Fall is not Summer. They are separately wonderful, and each also carry their own difficulties as well.
I couldn’t help but compare this to our life stories. We are constantly going through different seasons, and each season has its own joys and hardships. I’ve found that the key is not to make it through a certain season in order to get to a ‘better’ one, but to change your focal point so that you can find contentment in each season throughout your life.
Here are some steps that I’ve taken to enjoy my current season of life.
1. Recognize the season you’re in.
Maybe you’re in a season of being newly married. Maybe you’re in a season of being single. Maybe you’re in a season of starting a family. It sounds simple, but this is an extremely important step. Without acknowledging it, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing your life to others’. Comparing your life to another’s can cause tension and destruction in the destinies of each person involved. Recognize your season, then believe that your season is just as important as another’s.
2. Discover the purpose of your season.
Big or small, this is what will allow you to thrive during this time. Ask the Lord to reveal what your purpose is and trust that He will give you an answer at some point. If you feel confused, be patient and faithful. I’ve found that sometimes I don’t fully understand a purpose in a season until it’s over, but it’s a big relief when I can look back and feel confident that I remained faithful and at peace throughout the process.
3. Make a list of activities you can only do in this season.
I can’t, or maybe the right word is shouldn’t, go swimming in a Minnesota lake in December. I can’t go downhill skiing in August. I won’t see leaves turn color in February. You get the point. There will be really great opportunities in every season, and not all of them will be available every season of your life. Take advantage of them before it’s too late.
4. Find people to connect with who are in similar seasons.
I’m not saying you need to spend all of your time with these type of people. But having someone, or several people who are in a similar season will provide an outlet when you need to talk through issues that may arise. This is not to say others won’t be able to offer any insight, but there is something really comforting about a person who can identify with specific emotions and experiences.
5. Find people who were in your season but aren’t anymore.
They will be able to provide wisdom and counsel into what you are experiencing. This type of relationship could also end up being valuable encouragement and restore hope within you!
6. Don’t give up.
A new season is bound to come along! Galatians 6:9 – “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” If you feel overwhelmed by what’s currently happening in your season, just keep doing your best each day! His mercies are new every morning. Worrying about what will happen in the future only uses up the mercy that you received for the day.
There might not be a way to ensure that trials and difficulties aren’t a part of our lives, but there are ways to navigate through them. Being intentional about how we treat each season will allow us to find value in our experiences – whether they seem positive or negative at the time.
With that, cheers to our unique seasons and discovering our purposes in them!

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Marriage

7 Things to Consider When Dating/ Marrying Outside Your Culture

Culture, as defined by the dictionary, is the beliefs, customs, behaviors, traditions and arts of a particular society, group, place, or time. My intention in this article is to discuss some things to be aware of when you date or marry someone from a different society, race or group. A person’s culture begins in their immediate family, and is then enforced by society and shaped by their environment. Even if you and your significant other are  from the same society, you will experience differences.
However, when you come from different ethnic backgrounds there are several things that you may want to keep in mind:
 
1. Your idea of love and expectations in marriage will be different based on the culture- take time to learn your spouse’s expectations and experiences about  love, marriage and family so you guys can be on the same page. Expressions and expectations will vary depending on the culture.
 
2. Culture impacts how and when you communicate- Take the time to learn certain phrases, meanings and how communication in marriage and family flows in your spouse’s culture. One culture maybe quite, but that does not mean they are timid. Another can be loud, but it does not mean they are angry. Learn how your future spouse views communication. Some may talk through things while others may not. It is important to learn this so that you guys do not spend time fighting over things you can easily work out.
 
3. Learn the traditions and celebrations that are important- Different cultures put more emphasis on certain things than others; meet in the middle and choose which ones you will celebrate. I think one thing I learned from my marriage is being someone who strongly relates to the American culture, although I’m an African, I tend to celebrate everything with gifts. Where as my husband’s culture, mainly African, tends to primarily celebrate weddings, births, and deaths. My husband had to learn how to adjust to the many wonderful celebrations we Americans have.
 
4. Discuss the role of extended family involvement in the marriage- Certain cultures view extended family as the nuclear family; they expect couples to move in parents or send money back home at certain times in their marriage. Discuss this with your spouse and set a clear plan on how you will deal with extended family.
 
5. Roles in marriage may vary depending on the culture each person is from- Each society has differing ideas about marriage and about the role of each spouse. Take time to get to know your future spouse’s understanding of marriage and their expectation of you as their spouse.
 
6. Remember certain traditional roles may not be biblical– With the push of family it can be hard to put down your feet about certain things you and your spouse will continue in your marriage. While some things may be cultural,  they may not align with your biblical values. Make sure that as a married couple you guys create a culture based on your beliefs, and not just your traditions.
 
7. You have to create a culture of heaven in your marriage- While our cultures, traditions and experiences make up our human experience, it is really important that our goal in our marriage, whether from the same culture or different cultures, is to emulate heaven in our marriage. When we understand the culture of heaven, it will be easier to learn how to create that same culutre in our homes.