Categories
Finances

Money Monday: Why Banks Don't Want You to Have Good Credit

Believe it or not, most banks don’t want you to have good credit. As crazy as it sounds, most financial institutions would rather have more consumers with below average credit score and reports. This is also part of the reason why banks don’t educate their clients on credit scores and report improvement or education. In short, consumers with great credit tend to pay their bills on time. But wait, why do many banks deny those with below average credit? I’m sure glad you asked!
 
Sub-Prime Accounts
If you have ever been to a steak restaurant, the waiters and waitresses will give you their script on the quality of the steak, right? They talk about how they are better than any other restaurant out there and how prime they are. Prime is the word used to determine the highest quality grade of steak. This same meaning is probably the best way to describe prime and sub-prime when dealing with banking. In short, “Prime” is the highest quality and “Sub-Prime” is the lowest quality. Sub-Prime accounts in banking normally pay a much higher interest rate compared to their prime consumers. The interest you pay to a bank is determined mostly by your credit score and report.
Most prime consumers will have a history of paying their bills on time and because of that, they will more than likely get a lower interest rate and a lower payment. When a bank lends to a Sub-Prime consumer, the risk is much higher as there are increased chances of late payments or a defaulted account. So, if the risk is higher for the bank, why would they want more of this? The answer is simple…..Higher Interest Rates.
 
Higher Interest Rates
Even though sub-prime consumers increase the risk for banks, these are the account that the banks make the most money on when the consumers pays over time. For those who don’t know, interest is how banks make money. Interest is the added amount to the borrowed amount that gets paid back over time. In short, banks need a certain amount of sub-prime accounts with higher interest rates to cover expenses and etc. This increases the risk as many accounts have late payments and eventually go into default. So, if you are ever wondering why banks have huge buildings, high paying salaries to the big people at the top, and have many locations, take a look at how many sub-prime accounts they have.
 
But What If
Yes, I know the question you are thinking right now might be something close to this….”What if the bank has too many sub-prime accounts and those accounts don’t pay?” This will lead to a recession as the banks must be able to lend to keep the economy going. Prime accounts are great investments as well for most banks. The problem is it’s only so much money a bank can make from consumers who pay their bills on time and have a lower interest rate.
Denied Low Credit Scores
If this is the case, more banks would try to hold more sub-prime accounts correct? Not necessarily. It is not a smart move to approve every sub-prime applicant that applies for the financial product. This will soon lead to an unstable balance and more accounts will default. Some financial institutions have very strict rules on their sub-prime process to lower the chances of defaults. In these cases, the banks will ask for co-signers, higher down payments, more collateral, references, proof of address, and proof of employment. This also creates more loyalty from the consumers. Eventually, they know the situation may have been difficult to get the approval, but overtime, they begin to show trust. Customers with trust end up staying with the bank and with higher credit scores down the line for better terms.
Bottom Line
Hopefully you will have a better understanding as to why banks don’t want you have to good credit. Keep in mind, it’s not about what the banks want as you will be the one paying the payments each month. You have to position yourself and your credit to always have the best financial outcome possible. Of course, if your score is not where you want it to be, we can always help improve that with out personal step by step game plans.
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

3 Things To Consider In Your Next Relationship (Ladies' Edition)

by Habiba Abudu

Before entering a serious relationship, one must be whole. Not in a superficial way. You will never be 100 percent perfect when entering a relationship, however, it is important to consider these 3 factors in order to avoid issues in your relationship. 

  1. Father Issues

If you did not grow up with a father you may look to your partner as a means to appease any rejection or loss you had. No doubt, fathers play a significant role in a child’s upbringing and not having one can lead you to looking for affirmation elsewhere. Having a strong father would make you more secure in yourself and less susceptible to compromising your values for a “random”. If you think it’s not true, look how Tom Brady teared up when he mentioned how his dad was his hero. When men know that you seek them for affirmation they can manipulate you. You can also compare your partner to other men who have mistreated you. You have to get rid of that mentality and see your partner the way Christ sees him. 

If you do not have a father – look towards your heavenly Father for He is better than any man you can have. People will fail you. Your friends and family will fail you. Jesus will never fail you. Once you realize that, you won’t go to someone for affirmation

 2. Insecurities

There will always be someone who is skinnier, prettier, smarter and funnier than you. If you are always comparing yourself to the next person, you will always feel insignificant. Subsequently, when you enter a relationship, you will struggle with doubts. You may constantly question whether or not your man will leave you once he finds someone better. Once again, seek God. His thoughts toward you exceed rubies. There is nothing wrong with working out and eating well. But you may never be satisfied unless you find peace with who God made you to be. Be still and at peace. 

Deal with insecurities. Decades of hurt  seemingly buried and forgotten can manifest itself in unexpected ways. Journal your hurts and let God heal you. Talk to someone. Pray. Don’t expect deep rooted hurts to be gone over night. Sometimes, it takes time and a process of healing and restoration. It’s okay to be open with your insecurities. Individuals often put a facade of being okay when it’s quite the contrary. The world is full of broken people. God rejoices in our weakness because He is our strength in our weakness.

3.   Fear of rejection/failure 

Perhaps you experienced a lot of rejection in your life. You weren’t the popular kid at school.  Or you failed at multiple things. Everyone’s failed at something. We are too focused on perfectionism. So maybe once you enter a relationship you already foresee failure on the horizon. You are hesitant to become close to your significant other because you think he will reject you once you mess up. Or you are scared he will see your true colors and want to leave. Grace says that we can mess up. If your partner really loves you, he will accept you flaws and all. 

Failure is apart of life. Failure, when looked at correctly, can be a learning experience. Fear of failure can lead to fear of taking risks or of opening up. God wants you to walk on water. He wants you to take risks. In Him, you are loved. And God works everything for good, so perceived failure/setbacks in Christ will be for your betterment.

Habiba Abudu is a writer based in Toronto, Canada. She loves writing, exploring and eating good food. You can find her at www.habibaabudu.com, www.facebook.com/habibadoesthings , on Instagram @therealhabibaabudu, stay tuned for “Tickle Me Fancy”

Categories
Communication Marriage

How You Are Hurting Your Husband's Growth

Ladies, I will be the first to admit. Control is a HARD THING to overcome. As women, I think it is natural for us to want to take over a situation – as nurturers, we want to make sure everyone is provided for and everything is order. Here are some tips to help keep you sane and allow your husband to grow.
Know your limitations
Understand your limitations and don’t bury yourself! You will stress yourself out and get to a point of bursting because you are trying to balance and task manage every little thing.
The beauty of a marriage is TWO PEOPLE. That is another person to share all of life’s crazy tasks with – calling insurance, grocery shopping, taking the kids to their activities, whatever! Find a balance that works for your family unit and if you are overwhelmed ASK FOR HELP! Your husband may read you well, but he is not a mind reader! Be conscious of your state of mind and what you are capable of handling on your plate.
Give him the chance to help you
If you want extra help keeping the household in order, start providing small opportunities your husband can tackle while you take care of some of the more tedious tasks. Try giving him the grocery list to do the grocery shopping for the week, or give him the utility bill to pay online every month. The more they are involved, the more help they will be, and the more they realize how much you contribute to running the household.
Men compartmentalize their thoughts, while women are often thinking of what needs to get done next. Communicate your needs or desires and give him a date you need it completed by to help minimize the nagging and ensure it gets taken care of.
Have the faith that he CAN do it
After a year of marriage, I found myself simply not asking him to do things because I had to ask 3 times before it got done – or I feared he would forget to do a part of the task, so instead of asking for his assistance, I just decided to take it on myself. WRONG WRONG WRONG. It was here that the Lord showed me I had idolized my method of doing things and doing them to (my idea of) perfection.
A few months ago, my husband had taken our dog to get groomed and I found myself asking all sorts of questions – How does she look? How much was it? Can you send me a picture? I realized that when I had been giving my husband tasks, I had been texting him asking questions through the whole thing instead of entrusting him to get it done. By acting this way, we are instilling a “not good enough” or “can’t do it right” mentality in our men, when we should be building them up!
When we nag and breathe down our husband’s back, we never give them an opportunity to achieve or exceed our expectations, but instead set a standard to where they always fall short. We drive home the point that they cannot do anything right, that we are the only ones that can complete a task, and do it to the highest standard.  
So maybe your daughter is not wearing the exact outfit you had in mind?
Maybe he plans to do the laundry tonight while the game is on instead of right now.
Or perhaps he makes the effort to clean the kitchen (even though it’s not as clean as you do it).
We need to celebrate and encourage our husbands as they grow to be the providers and head of the house. The only way your husband can grow is if you let him try. So for all my wives out there struggling with control, let today be the day you start to say “okay,” and let your hubby help run the show.
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Physical Intimacy Single

Abstaining From Sex: The Ammunition You Need

It’s everywhere. SEX. It’s on the TV, it’s in the magazines, books, music, posters, movies… EVERYWHERE. So unless you plan on becoming a hermit and staying indoors doing nothing, then I suggest you get some ammunition and learn how to use it.
After speaking with a few people through my blog and business, I thought I would write a post and tell you what helps me keep my vow of purity. Oh, just in case you didn’t know, I run a Christian business geared toward helping men and women stay celibate until marriage. Also, if you read to the end, I’ll have a surprise for you at the end of this post. **Giveaway Alert**
I use the word ammunition in my title because literally there is a fight we experience in our everyday lives to remain pure. The enemy is armed and dangerous and he’s not afraid to use his weapons. So why are we?
Here’s what I’m locked and loaded with:
Prayer
This is the vehicle in which the Lord has given us to communicate with Him. So why don’t we use it? It’s literally available to us anytime of the day. And it’s my first choice when I’m faced with impure thoughts. I just simply say,

“Lord, fill my thoughts with thoughts of you and your goodness. Help me to block the tactics of the enemy that’s trying to infiltrate my mind. Right now I choose to think on everything that is pure and lovely.”

It’s nothing long and drawn out- when the enemy is quickly approaching, or better yet, when he has already used his weapon, you have to use what’s in your arsenal.
Sometimes I even pray my go-to scripture, But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desire” (Romans 13:14)
I encourage you to find a scripture of choice and use it when the enemy is trying to wage war on your mind.
Accountability
You need to find someone who is on the journey of abstaining from sex like you. I recommend finding someone who is further along in the journey than you, that way they can tell you what help keeps them from falling victim to the enemies tactics. See, they more than likely have a language for the season you’re entering or you’ve been in and they will definitely give you sound advice. This is also a person that you should be able to share your struggles with- someone that you plan to be truthful and honest with, because what’s the point of having accountability otherwise?
Listen, I love my accountability partners, I have two- I call them when I need prayer, when I need to talk, and when I need encouragement. I remember one time I texted one of them at a very early hour in the morning and guess, what she responded. This isn’t a walk you have to do by yourself, there are plenty of people, Christians, out here living for the Lord and taking their vow of purity seriously.
My Purity Card
Yes! I carry my card with me everywhere. It’s in my wallet, so I have the ability to pull it out at anytime, anywhere. It’s a great reminder. It’s something about seeing my signature on the card- it reminds me that the decision I made to abstain from sex until marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s a contract between me and the Lord, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t dishonor any contract I made with my Lord and Savior. (If you want a copy of the card, you can email me at crownedyou@gmail.com).
If you want to join me in this fight for purity, comment below and let me know! I’d love to pray for you and encourage you. I’ll also be entering your comment into a drawing to win an item from my company Crowned, LLC. So be sure to leave enough information so that I can get back in contact with you and follow us on Instagram.

 

Categories
Marriage

My Husband Needs Help

by Cassandra Bolar
No, my husband doesn’t possess any fatal flaws or defective personality traits – as a matter of fact, he is the most encouraging, appreciative, ambitious and loving man I know.  However, one day I had an epiphany that my husband needs some help, major help.  I realized this help wouldn’t require seeking a professional counselor or spending a dime.
 I came to the realization that my husband needs MY help, support, love and encouragement more than anyone else’s.  
 
This lightbulb went off when he was in the throes of preparing to launch his own business…
Without his prompting, I recognized that he would need my help in a very practical, hands-on manner.  I also realized that I have unique attributes and talents that would help him in the areas he would need the most assistance.  The hardest part of the realization was understanding the action that would be required of me; namely, making changes in my own life to fulfill this important role.  I had been so accustomed to doing my own thing that adjusting my life in major ways to support and help my husband seemed like a sacrifice that was too big for me.  I’d spent my entire life specializing in making my own dreams and aspirations come true, and I needed to make an important shift now that I was married (I’m a newlywed of two years).
I had to do some critical soul searching and figure out God’s wisdom on my role as a wife and how his insight should guide me in providing the help and support my husband needs.  Slowly but surely, my heart softened and eventually fully embraced the idea of providing the help my husband needs – regardless of the changes that are required of me.  I started to delight myself in supporting his dreams in major ways.  
 
The first step of this journey was clearly defining what it means to be a wife and using God’s wisdom on the topic.  
Then, “helpmeet” stood out to me.  Now, the English version, “helpmeet”, doesn’t quite give justice to the depth and significance of being a wife.  The Hebrew version of “helpmeet” is ezer (strength/power/rescue) kenegdo (alongside/counterpart), which better illustrates the beauty of being an equal partner with your husband and a source of strength and encouragement.
 For example, ezer was referenced in the bible during the times when people desperately needed the Lord’s help and strength to come through for them.  Being committed to providing this type of help for my husband has been a process, albeit a very rewarding process.  I have adopted his dreams as my own and vice versa.  
Additionally, assisting him with his dreams and goals has indirectly poured into my goals and dreams.  Never before have I been more on track for fulfilling the call on my life.  I discovered that supporting his dreams didn’t mean that I had to sacrifice my own – if anything, my dreams have been enhanced.
 
 At the end of the day, this process has led to creating something much bigger than ourselves – a family mission that involves the both of us.  For all the newly-weds out there, be encouraged, the changes that are needed to adjust to marriage may seem foreign in the beginning, but they will prove to be rewarding in the end.  The help and encouragement that are needed in marriage may be practical, spiritual or mental, and they have a way of being reciprocal in nature.  For all the wives out there,  how your husband needs your help in a desperate way, you’ll need his help, too! Make your dreams come true together.

Categories
Communication Dating/Courting Marriage Parenting Spiritual Intimacy

The Unseen History With God in Your Marriage

Time Travel

This past weekend, my wife and I rifled through our memories and found our wedding video. Eleven years and three kids later, we’re still going strong. Yet, amazingly enough, our kids had never seen our wedding video before. So we scooped some ice cream, sat down as a family, and re-lived that magical day all over again. (Well, almost magical. Everyone has a story about a moment in their wedding day that was more tragic than magic.)
Ours truly felt like a fairy tale wedding. It was outside; we were under an oak tree with the wind blowing and the sun gleaming through the clouds. The music, the flowers, the ambience—Oh! And the bride! You should have seen her! She looked like a princess; she still looks like a princess.
Going back to that day with our kids was so special in so many ways, but it really highlighted the true Hero of our story: Christ. Sarah and I have built something together over the past eleven years. We’re still building something together: a secret history with God. He is the muse of our love story. Our marriage is an ever-unfolding tribute to the Lover of our souls.

Unseen Struggles

Watching our video resurfaced all those old feelings of our love. There were moments that I grimaced, like the extremely nerve-induced delivery of my vows. (It’s a wonder anyone could understand me, talking that fast!) But mostly, it made me beam with pride at our amazing story.
I glanced over at my bride and smiled many times. She’s still here. She’s the girl I married and she’s so much more. She’s the woman I’ve slain dragons with. She’s been the eyewitness to some of my most brutal failures; and yet, here she remains.
At the bedrock foundation of a solid marriage, there are often the unseen scars. From the courtship to the wedding day, there were battles. From the wedding day to eleven years, there were wars. The only thing that people see are a man and a woman in love with God and one another, but the unseen beauty of a marriage are the scars of battles fought together to get there—and stay there.

Unseen Victories

There are also unseen victory laps.
Celebrating our first home together, celebrating the first time the baby slept through the night, celebrating the appearance of the mysterious $100 bill that was carefully and curiously wedged in the pages of Sarah’s Bible during a time of financial famine. These are the moments that get a marriage through the battles! No one knows the intimate joys that I have with my wife over the battles we have fought and won together, except us. That is the beauty of our unseen history: that we take advantage of an opportunity to build something—not a façade, but something four-dimensional together. And nobody sees it or lives it like we do.

Building Upwards

The defeats and victories form the bedrock of who we are as a couple. Now, we’re growing together, rising higher from glory to glory together with God. We’re forging new victories after new battles—adding more glorious layers to our beautiful imitation of Christ and the Church.
Be patient in your battles. Be graceful in your victories. Soon, you’ll look back at that glorious day that it all began and marvel at your unseen history with one another and with your Great God.