Month: April 2015

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5 Things a Wife Should NEVER Do to Her Husband

A couple is fighting on a couch and the girl is pointing her finger accusingly at him.

Women possess the amazing verbal gift and ability to build with their words. This is particularly important and true in their marital and family relationships. This gift enables them to speak life in such a way that elevates and encourages their husband, making him better and in turn, make their marriage and family better.
In the last several weeks, I have had several sessions with women who have done or said certain things that have unfortunately made their relationship worse.
As women, it’s important that we understand, acknowledge, and recognize the power of our words. Here are five do’s & don’ts that will help you better understand how to properly use the power of both your words and your actions:
 

  1. Never speak about him to your friends and family in a disparaging way

Doing this makes him lose confidence in himself and in you as a confidant, and will also lower his self-esteem. Instead of tearing him down, use your words to build him up. If you truly need someone to intervene in certain issues, pick a few unbiased people that both of you agree on that you can talk to when you are having tough times. After all, most men long for their wives approval; it is all that matters to them. Respect the boundaries you set and only talk to those who you have both deemed safe.
 

  1. Never yell at him, curse, or beat him

As someone who is called to honor their spouse, when you excessively yell, curse or even hit, you both demean him and emasculate him. Violence is never acceptable; if you result to these tactics and are unable to control yourself, seek help from a professional counselor or pastor.
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  1. Never put her children before him

I am a mom, so I know how deep a mother’s love is. However, we will only be able to successfully love and provide for our children if our marriage is healthy and our spouse is taken care of first. Things such as always buying things for the children and never your mate, always feeding them first and not serving him, and taking your children’s side over your husbands, will eventually ware on the relationship and can cause a lot of problems, pain, and mistrust.
 

  1. Never give him the left overs of you

As women who tend to be involved in a lot of activities and are in the business of caring for people, do not allow yourself to become the wife that gives her all to the ministry, her children, her job and activities, and then when it comes to your husband, you are too tired to even have a good conversation, let alone partake in sex. Make time for him; give him your strength and your energy as much as you do for everyone and everything else. He should be your priority.
 

  1. Never put the WORK of God before him

God should be first in our lives; however, walking with God and working for God are not the same thing. Often times men and women will sacrifice their whole family for the work of God, forgetting that our family is our first ministry. You have heard it said that you do not want to be a public success but a private failure.
Your family should be the most important people, and the ones you live most holy and upright before. If you have your priorities straight, God will make sure to help you learn how to serve Him with your whole heart, as well as your family.
Women, whether we like it or not our words and works are both powerful and impactful. We can either use them to defeat and destroy or build and encourage. Let these Do’s & Don’ts guide you in the pursuit of being a Proverbs 31 wife & woman who builds!
 
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Engaged Finances Home Parenting

The 3 Rules Financial Experts Suggest to Win at the Money Game

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Devil, You Cannot Have My Peace

That’s right, you cannot have my peace! First of all, the peace that’s been given to me was bought at a high price and given to me as a gift. Secondly, this peace that’s been promised to me surpasses my logical understanding and exceeds my greatest expectations.
John 14:27 reads “I am leaving you with a gift –peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift that the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”
It’s so easy for us, especially me, to allow our inner peace to be mishandled and juggled by people, the enemy, and our emotions. I want to encourage you today by sharing how we can combat the “lies” of this world with “truths” of HIS word when it comes to having constant peace that is steady, strong and resilient.
 
PEOPLE did not DIE for YOU!
Are you tired of giving your peace to the person who cuts you off on the expressway or takes your parking space at the grocery store? Are you in an unhealthy friendship where you are constantly giving out money, time and energy, only to receive the exact opposite from the one in whom you are investing? I know we all have been in a place where we desire to be the “Savior” for friends and family.
However, desiring to be something you were never created to be can steal your inner peace. You inherit sleepless nights and endure mental uneasiness when you exchange your gift to serve into people- pleasing, which in turn affects your judgment and peace. John 16:33 says “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world”. He paid the price so that you could have the peace!
 
The ENEMEY is after your PEACE!
The enemy does not want you to have peace; he wants you to be confused and angry. Confusion causes doubt, anger causes separation, and as a result unhealthy seeds of discord are sown into the grounds of your heart. It’s okay to have feelings of wanting to give up; but, don’t stop there. Continue to fight for your peace, speak the word over your situation, and what the enemy means for EVIL will be used for your good.
In order to overcome, we have to choose in the moment of despair to walk in Gods peace and not the fall for the enemy’s costly distractions. So, instead become focused on those things that bring glory to God and ultimately joy. Romans 15:33 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”.
 
 
EMOTIONS cannot control your PEACE!
As a woman, I tend to go through hundreds of emotions daily! Ha! Sometimes I can start my day and be gun-hoe about my day, rock my prayer time, play my awesome worship music and have a pep in my step! But, immediately after I walk through the door at work and a child begins throwing a tantrum and nothing seems to appease them, I result to having a “cloudy” day in a matter of a few minutes!
To be honest, I don’t like days like that! Not because of the tantrum, but because of the effect the spontaneous episode had on my emotions. Emotions are temporary and Gods word is permanent!
So, instead of allowing a little unexpected twist to change the trajectory of your day, allow the promises of God to navigate your emotions so that you can stay in a constant state of peace. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”.
 
Take a deep breath and allow the peace of God to rest in your heart this day! Know that the King of Kings has blessed you with a Gift that the world cannot take away. He came so that you may have peace, not just for today, but for all of the days of your lives. Choose today to no longer surrender your gift to people, tough situations, challenges, the enemy, or your emotions. Take back the reigns and walk in your Godly Inheritance!
 
 

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5 Steps to Managing Disappointments in the Unmarried Life

Unmarried men and women, how do you manage the disappointment of feeling like God has forgotten about you and the bombarding thoughts that you may never have the family or marriage you desire? How do you manage the disappointment that comes from waiting on the Lord and walking in purity for years, yet still not seeing your desire for marriage and a family come to pass? How do you manage the disappointment of a failed relationship that started out with great potential?
 
If left unmanaged, these disappointments are more likely to lead to greater disappointments, continued discouragement, and repetitive cycles. Although some disappointments are inevitable, there are successful ways to manage the disappointments that many unmarried men and women who desire marriage often experience.
 
 
5 Steps to Managing Disappointments in the Unmarried Life:
 

  1. Honesty & Transparency –

The first step to managing disappointment is to be honest with yourself and transparent with God about what you are feeling. Without acknowledging you are disappointed, you will not be able to manage it. Being honest with God and yourself is necessary when dealing with the issues that caused the disappointment. There is liberty and freedom in being able to vocalize your disappointments and to be able to honestly express what you are feeling. The Lord longs for us to share the matters of our heart with him.
Lamentations 3:25 “The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek for him.”
 
Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
 
 

  1. Accountability-

The second step to managing disappointments that evolve from the unmarried life is to have accountability. In addition to God, you need someone in your life to be transparent with and to hold you accountable for your actions, choices and decisions. After you vocalize your disappointment, a sober accountability partner, who you trust, will need to hold you accountable when you are faced with the temptation of believing the off-perspectives of the enemy concerning your future versus the truth and promises of God concerning your future. The key to choosing a suitable accountability partner(s) is choosing someone who does not have the same struggle you do. Your accountability person(s) should be someone who is stronger in your areas of your weaknesses. If you choose an accountability person who has the same struggles or issues, you will find yourself in a situation where the blind will attempt to lead the blind.
Proverbs 27:17  “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Galatians 6:1-2  “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
 
 

  1. Measurement & Reflection-

You will need a system of measurement to determine what went wrong, why it went wrong and what you could do better the next time to avoid the pitfall. Step three of managing disappointment is adopting a system of measurement and reflecting on the events that caused disappointment to surface in your life. Allowing God to measure you is the most important form of measurement. Getting in His presence and allowing Him to show you what lead to your disappointment are imperative. Instead of relying on the experience itself to teach you a lesson, allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any areas where you need to change or improve. Your accountability partner(s) should also play a key role in the measurement and reflection process.
Proverbs 1:5  “Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.”
Proverbs 10:17 “ Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.”
 
 

  1. Move Forward-

When disappointment comes, it can cause stagnation and an inability to move forward. Unmanaged disappointment drives individuals to live in the past and function from a place of hurt and discouragement. Stagnation and fear are byproducts of unmanaged disappointment and becomes a defensive mechanism to prevent disappointment from occurring again. In order to manage disappointment, it is vital that you not stay stuck in the same mindset, emotional state or heart posture that led you to an unhealthy place. Moving forward is the the fourth step of managing disappointment and the only way to walk in the direction of God’s promises. Stagnation and backward movement will most certainly delay the plans of God for your life. You have to first be honest with God about your disappointment and then allow him to change your perspectives and get moving!
Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
 
 

  1. Trust God-

The final step of learning to manage disappointment is to simply trust God and His word. When we learn to truly trust God, we lose the fear of taking risks because we know he his plans for us are of good and not of evil and are to give us a future and hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Trusting that God has your best interest in mind will allow you to find true security in your present and be hopeful concerning your future.
Romans 8:28  “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Proverbs 3:5 “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:6  “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Psalm 28:7  “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.”
 
 
 
God knows we will experience disappointment before it happens. While He never promised we would not experience disappointment, He does promise to be with us through every disappointment and to protect us throughout the process. No disappointment is greater than the power of God! Through His power He enables us to be honest with our feelings, accountable for our choices and decisions, gives us courage to move forward and the faith to trust Him, and  helps us truly believe that all things will work together for our good!

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Engaged Finances Marriage

The 4 Steps to Teamwork Making the Dreamwork in Marriage

A husband and wife, at the most basic level, are a team. Man and wife become a special force of power when their minds come together in unity.  At every stage in marriage, think of creative ways to divide and conquer in accordance with what God has called you both to do. A married couple must fight together in order to overcome the temptations of culture such as adultery, divorce, apathy, and even the average status quo. Here is a guide to becoming the best married team ever.
#1: Set a Game Plan
How can you win a game without a game plan? In the same way, how can you win in marriage if you have no idea what to conquer? Do you have business plans, ministries, college funds, financial goals, or anything else to plan for? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you need to establish goals and make them measurable, establish roles and make them flexible, and establish expectations and make them attainable.
 
 
#2: Develop Yourself
In other words, continue reading the Bible. Spend time in prayer. Grow in your spiritual gifts. Surround yourself with strong, ambitious, like-minded people. Read books. Whatever you do, keep growing. If you’re not growing, you’re dropping the ball. You will hold your spouse back if their level of faith and mindset is a 10/10 and yours are a 2. Together, you both must develop in Spirit, in mind, in body, and in soul.
Not everyone is skilled to play quarter back. Not everyone is built to play center. Figure out what your calling is in marriage and in life, and hone in on it. Many times, your calling is intertwined with your spouse’s. If you’re operating at your full potential in your area of expertise, then your team will be better for it.
 
 
#3: Empower your Teammate
This is where many teams fail. They mistake their teammates for their opponents. They begin tearing them down with their words, their attitude, their lack of support, and their apathy. But, when you remember that your teammate’s success directly influences your success, you’ll do everything you can to ensure that they’re growing.
If they miss a shot, cover for them. If they make the wrong play, then improvise with them. Encourage them. Challenge them. Build them up. Take responsibility for all that they fail at and all that they accomplish. Don’t ever blame them for the team’s failure. Your spouse is a reflection of you. If your spouse isn’t playing good and hard, then ask yourself, “What am I doing to empower my teammate?”
 
 
#4: Play by the Rules
You could play a mean game with your partner or you could make a bunch of fouls and forfeit your chance for victory. In order to play clean and win big, you must treat every disagreement, argument, and bump in the road with love and care. You’re only giving leverage to the enemy if you decide to belittle your spouse when emotions are running high, or to threaten divorce every time life gets hard.
Play by the rules: Forgive easily. Keep no record of wrongs. Treat your spouse the way you’d want to be treated. And in all circumstances, approach your spouse with love and respect.
 
 
 
If you aren’t already functioning as a team or are just beginning your journey as a team, remember that becoming a good team will take time. Take the time to learn your spouse’s strengths and weaknesses; this will help you understand how to be the best and most supportive teammate for them. If you want to win the game, it’s time to start acting like a team!

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Marriage

How to Be There When Your Spouse is Grieving

On March 22nd 2015, I received a phone call from my Uncle Earl. He called to see how I was settling in to my new home in Georgia. I expressed to him how nice it was to get away from the hustle and bustle of NYC. I talked to him about his knee surgery and he told me he was doing well. Midnight of March 23rd, I received a call from my dad.
He informed me that my uncle had passed away. My heart fell to pieces. I cried into my husband’s shoulders as it all sank in. I mourned not only for my uncle, but for my cousins’ loss and my father’s loss.
 
The next few days were difficult. I was lost in a daze wondering how life and how God could be so cruel. Though my cousins are adults, I felt like they were orphaned and it wasn’t fair. I withdrew myself from my family; not for long, but I withdrew nevertheless. I tried to smile for my daughter, but the pain and confusion I felt could not be masked.
 
My husband tried his best to hold up his grieving wife, but I was so sensitive that the slightest joke made me fall apart. Instead of trying to cheer me up, he began to grieve with me.
 
I knew right away that I would be attending the funeral, even though it would have put a financial strain on us. My husband refused to let me attend alone. Though I tried to tell him that we didn’t have the money and that I would be okay, he said “I have to be there for you.”
 
In our five year relationship, we’ve experienced significant losses on his side, and I always tried to be there for him as much as possible. In fact, when he lost his grandfather, we were in the middle of a fight. I was pregnant and in the hospital with high blood pressure and contractions at 7 months and was two hours away from home. I begged him to stay with his family and not travel to see me because I was so angry with him, but in all of my anger, I tried my best to be there for him. I helped him and his cousin work on the programs and I checked on him often to make sure that he was okay.
 
Three years later, he was going to do everything in his power to be there for me. Thankfully, myself, my husband, and little girl received assistance with our tickets and were able to travel as a family. I am so glad that we did. My husband held me through it all, bonded with my family, and made it his mission to be present. That’s all I really needed.
 
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand your duty as a spouse when your husband or wife loses a loved one. How are you supposed react, especially when it isn’t someone you didn’t really know well? Just be present. Try your best to be all the support that he or she needs. Don’t argue about the little things because they don’t matter—frankly they never really matter, because as you now see, life is too short.
Your spouse may react in bizarre ways, like cry when he/she is supposed to laugh but it’s all a part of the grieving process. So, grieve with him/her. You don’t have to speak, just be there.
 
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) God has given us the ability and nature to be empathetic. Apply the innate empathy to your unconditional love for your spouse and you will be the best (earthly) remedy for your spouse’s broken heart.

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Friends and Lovers: The Key to Making it through the Good, Bad, and Ugly

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3 Areas My Wife Needs Me to do Better In

It’s only April and that means that there are eight months ahead of us that are packed with promise! There’s still time to be creative and aggressive in my pursuit of Christ, and my role as a husband and father. On the downside, I still find myself looking back and cringing on some things that didn’t work for me as a husband. Some of 2014’s battles are still smoldering. There’s still time to cringe and wince in pain over what didn’t work out so well.
 
I’m not advocating living in the past, and yet, a crucial element of our faith depends upon gaining understanding from our missteps and pitfalls as we press ahead in Christ. We count the cost. Jesus said in Luke 14:28, “For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?”
 
I may not be building a tower, but my marriage is a monument to God and His love towards His Bride, so it merits careful and continuous reflection.
 
 
On that note, here are three things that backfired for me as a husband in 2014:

  1. I became way too busy. I said “yes” when I should have said “no.” I charged ahead on projects that I should have waited on. I got distracted by people, events, and circumstances. Here’s a freebie, husbands: if your wife says “I miss you” multiple times in one week, and you are coming home to her every day, then chances are that you’re still not there, not really “present”.
  2. I allowed other things to define me. I know who I am in Christ! Deep down inside, I walk with my head held high and my eyes on the prize….except when I don’t. When I let my job, circumstances, or bad days tell me who I am, then I begin to base who I believe myself to be off of circumstances. It’s okay to have a bad day, husbands, but if we really claim that “we have this hope as an anchor for the soul,” (Hebrews 6:19) then, even if we get bruises, we have to rise up and believe in who our Daddy is and who He says we are.
  3. I didn’t cover my wife as her spiritual covering as much as I needed to. The concept of husbands covering their wives is in the Bible. Ephesians 5:25-26 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.” This covering isn’t smothering. It’s protecting.I cringe as I think about things that my wife told me that really called for me to drop what I was doing and fight for her. (I want to slap myself upside the head when I think back on how impatient I was with my wife when she and the kids all had the flu. I was the lone survivor. This was prime time for me to rise to the occasion and serve my family without complaining, and instead demonstrate patience and compassion through support and servant hood!)

 
 
This list may have given the impression that I am beating myself up, but I’m not, I’m taking inventory. As a husband, I’m required to also be a steward. I’m taking care of a daughter of the King of Kings! And yes, although He’s extremely patient, it’s still my job to do well. He commissioned her to respect me, in spite of myself, and has commissioned me to love and honor her, in spite of my shortcomings.
Question: Husbands, what areas didn’t work out for you in 2014?
Challenge: Ask the Lord to show you what your wife needs from you this year. Champion her cause and be the man of her dreams and God’s choice for your marriage!
 
 
 
All Scriptures taken from New American Standard Bible

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Home Marriage

8 Ways to Choose Your Mate Everyday Even When You Don't Want To

In my last article, I wrote about how God has given us the will to choose our mate. Well, the choosing doesn’t stop at the altar; rather, we must continue to choose our mate every day. Not just with the goal of simply “staying married,” but in choices that will help the marriage thrive and grow. Below are 8 ways I believe we can actively choose our mate daily in order to continue to grow and mature in love.
 
 

  1. Choose to forgive–

We have all heard it before; marriage is just two people who are really good at forgiving. Forgiveness is a choice, and one that is vital to having a healthy marriage. On a weekly basis husbands and wives have misunderstandings, and from time to time they even hurt each other’s feelings. This is normal. However, it should be just as normal to forgive our spouse, even when we are tempted to hold on to the pain. Talking out issues, forgiving one another, and not bringing it up the issue in future arguments is the best thing you can do for your marriage.  Remember, according to 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love keeps no record of wrong.”
 
 

  1. Choose to believe the best –

The word says that love always hopes; hope is the greatest gift you can give your marriage. Not just in hard times, but at all times, choose to always believe the best for your marriage. Choose to hope; choose to believe the best in your spouse. Do not choose to believe the worst about them and jump to conclusions. God always has good thoughts towards us and about us, even when we have given Him ample reason to believe otherwise.
 
 

  1. Choose to suffer long-

There will be seasons in your marriage that require long suffering; they maybe seasons of sickness or hardships, or even long months of misunderstanding. The ability to choose to suffer long says “no matter the pain and no matter the difficulty, I am in this for the long haul. I will not quit on you; I CHOOSE to fight through this.” After all choosing is a thought out choice, not an emotion.
 
 

  1. Choose to be kind–

Choose to extend grace weekly. Choose to season your words with grace. Choose to be slow to anger and slow to speak. Honor your spouse by treating them as a child of God. Kindness goes a long way in marriage. Choose to be kind, even when you are mistreated.
 
 

  1. Choose to laugh–

Laughter is the glue of any marriage. Choose to enjoy your spouse, to be playful, and to enjoy life together. Loosen up!  Remember scripture says “laughter is medicine for the soul!”
 
 

  1. Choose intimacy–

Choose to enjoy your spouse’s body.  Choose to have sex and be close, even if you are tired.  Choose to push through the busyness of life and make time for loving your mate. Sex is a choice. When you choose to push your excuses away, you’ll find that you are glad you did. Choose your spouse tonight.
 
 

  1. Choose Jesus as your leader–

When two people really love God and are fully commitment to Jesus, it makes it a lot easier to love other people. God is love, so apart from Him, when cannot know or give true love. When our hearts are devoted to Jesus, we are able to be devoted to one another. Choose to grow in God daily, which will make it easier to choose your spouse.
 
 

  1. Choose marriage–

Your Marriage is a choice.  If it blossoms, it’s because you and your spouse made it a priority. Choose to invest time in marital materials and attend conferences to enrich your marriage. Choose date nights, choose to talk things through instead of holding them in, and choose your marriage covenant over the opinions of family members and even outside voices. If this thing works, it’s because of the choices you two make. If it fails, it’s also because of the choices that were made. Choose today to make great choices for your marriage; you won’t regret it!
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Finances

8 Savings Goals for Newlyweds Who Want to Double Their Money

Saving your money is the key to growing financially. Saving helps you grow because it stops you from falling into debt and also frees up money that can propel you forward (e.g. investing). And, when it comes to saving, there’s no better time to start than when things are fresh and new as newlyweds.
 
As important as saving is, most couples just simply don’t do it. The truth is, without the encouragement and focus to stay motivated; giving up on your savings goals can become way too easy. So, how do newlyweds overcome this financial hurdle?
 
Here’s a little secret to success: couples that are specific with their savings goals have a higher chance of actually achieving them. Tell me this: would you be more motivated to save just to see the numbers in your account climb higher, or to be able to take that trip to Hawaii happening next spring? Being able to see the benefit of you saving can help you say “no” to some of the right-now purchases so that you can say “yes” to the larger reward that you’re saving for. In order to be motivated to reach your goal, the goal must be clearly defined and a goal you are actually motivated to achieve.
 
 
 
So, here are 8 really good and (really specific!) savings goals for newlyweds who want to rock their money, meet their goals, and start off strong!
 
#1 Emergency Stash
Probably the most important of them all: the emergency fund. Nothing sets you back more quickly than a very large surprise-expense. You can’t predict every cost that will pop up, but you can set aside a generic amount to protect your budget, off-set the unexpected cost, and make sure you don’t have to dip into your funds for other things, such as that trip to Hawaii!
Generally, most couples try to save at least 3-6 months of their living expenses; some do more and some do less, but general you want to keep a base of at least $1,000-$2,000. The amount should be based upon your specific situation and what works for your family.
 
 
#2 Credit Card Debt
Was your wedding over budget? Are you still paying on those spending sprees from college? Credit card balances have a bad habit of lingering. But, paying them off can free up money for some of the more fun savings goals that are important for your future. And, when you pay them off, you aren’t throwing away money towards interest rates.
Hint: paying more than your minimum payment will help you quickly pay off this debt (but you have stop using the card first).
 
 
#3 Student Loan Debt
I’m not just calling this out because I’m paying off $180,000 in 3 years . I truly believe that all debt should be paid off because we have so much more that we can do with our money. I mean, I thought of 8 things just for this post! I also believe that no matter how high your debt, when you can commit to paying more than your minimum payment consistently, you can do some serious damage to your student loans.
 
 
#4 Getaways / Family Trips
One mistake many couples make is being all work and no play. We have to start to making time and setting aside money for fun. We need those trips to revitalize us!  So, make sure you start planning for these trips now so you can make them happen. It may be expensive to travel, but if you plan a year or even two years out, you can go anywhere. Plus, planning them together is a lot of fun!
Also, it’s really easy to price -out a trip beforehand, even if it’s just an estimate. And, if you work with a free travel agent, it’s even easier. You can check out how we went to Costa Rica on a budget here.
 
 
#5 Baby Fund
We don’t have kids yet, but we want to be as prepared as possible when we’re ready for them. I know, I know, you can never be fully ready for kids, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try our best to be prepared as much as possible ahead of time!
There are so many mommy bloggers who have spoken in detail about their expenses, along with other great resources and mommy-tips. This article seems to list every possible thing you can buy for baby. It’s a great resource to pick and choose what you’ll need, and get a good sense of cost.
My philosophy is to always pick a goal that works for your situation. If you’re not yet pregnant and have a year or two to save, you may want to shoot for the higher amount. If you’re 4 months away from baby arriving, put away what you can. Any amount you save will be more than if you saved nothing at all!
 
 
#6 New Car/House
I’m about that cash life. So, when hubby and I buy a car within the next year or so, we plan to buy with cash. I can’t pay off this student loan debt only to go back into debt for a car. I believe if you plan for any purchase early enough, you can save for it. If you know you’ll need a car within the next 1-2 years, don’t let anything stop you from prioritizing this as a savings goal. If a house is in your future, don’t just bank on getting the largest home loan (sorry, pun intended).
Save for the entire purchase (yes, that includes a house!), or save as much as you can to reduce the amount you have to borrow. It all depends on how long you’re able to save, and how consistent you are with putting money away.
 
 
#7 Kid’s college fund
If baby is already here and you want him or her to go to college without the massive student loans, one way is to start saving for their education now.
There are savings/investment plans that I recommend you discuss with a certified Financial Professional (e.g. the 529 College Savings Plan is extremely popular…you can read more on it here).
 
 
#8 Early retirement
Most people don’t want to work forever, but few put extra money toward early retirement (or even regular retirement). I want to work as few years as possible, or at least have the freedom to quit and travel the world. Yep, I’m talking the type of financial freedom where you can never work another day in your life because your money makes money (in interest).
Investing is really the only way to get here. If you invest a certain amount over the course of 20-30 years, you can have a serious nest egg depending on how the market performs. Again, I recommend you speak with a trusted Certified Financial Planner for your options, your risk, and what it will take to reach your goals.
 
 
 
At the end of the day, you can’t go wrong with any of the above savings goals.  But, it can be overwhelming if you try to tackle them all at once. I like to use the simple rule of 1-3 money goals at a time.  Depending on the amount, you may just want to go hard on one. Focusing your money on fewer goals helps you see greater progress; and this is important for building momentum and keeping at it. Most importantly, get started! If you don’t ever start saving, you can’t ever reap the benefits of saving!
 
So, what savings goal/s is your household focusing on?