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Month: May 2014
Just as Jesus is praying at the right hand of the Father in intercession for us, we must take the same posture as husbands. We should be intercessors for our spouse.
Here are 3 prayer focuses that God has given me for my wife in this season, and you can use to pray over your wife today. I pray they bless you!
1. Identity
Whether your wife is a new mom or a new spouse, she is probably struggling to identify with who she is. The enemy loves to toy with your spouse’s identity. He does this my making her feel insecure.
If she knows who she is in God, this will eradicate the insecurities and help her to feel more comfortable in her skin. Her life is hidden in Christ and pray she will have the tenacity to search it out.
2. Trust in God
When your wife becomes your wife, she leaves the leadership of her father to your leadership and during the first years of marriage, you are taking leadership for a test spin! So, as you can see, trust can be quite fearful. Pray Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord will all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.”
3. Courage
Your wife needs courage in order to face her fears so that she can see the dreams that God has given her manifest. More than likely, her probably fearful on how she is going to accomplish it all. Pray that she has the courage of Joshua 1:9, which states, “Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with You wherever you go.”
These points should help you get your intercession started. I will have more in the coming months.
Happy Interceding!!
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Inspiring Proposal Video: A Must See
It’s definitely the season of engagement and marriage! Here is a great wedding proposal that happened recently. Cameron Brooks is a native of Fort Wayne, Indiana! He uses the song “Wedding Vows” by Jamie Foxx to propose to his now fiancé! Enjoy!
ot;https://www.facebook.com/jamalbrooks”>Jamal Brooks.
It kind of sucks having two ambitious people in one house. Sometimes I work all day and come home and all I want to do is eat and chill with my wife, but sometimes she has to work on a project for a client right after dinner. This means that I have to clean the house and take care of Josiah, our two-year-old son, all by myself.
I know, I know, suck it up. I do, but some days it gets a little annoying. Sometimes for a brief second I wish my wife was a little lazy. Sometimes I wish all she wanted to do is hang with me and my son . My wife takes care of my me, my son and the house and then stays up late working on her interior design business, pearsonrue.com or works on articles for Married and Young and her personal blog.
Why can’t she just sit down somewhere? Why does she have to work so hard all the time? Oh yeah, I did ask for a virtuous woman and a virtuous woman is far from lazy.
I’ve read Proverbs 31:10-31 many times, but it just finally dawned on me that what makes a woman virtuous is that she brings honor to God and her family. If you read the scriptures you’ll find that she does this by working hard, providing for her family, giving generously and sharing wisdom.
This is an awesome revelation to me and it confirms how important it is for a man and a woman to be deeply rooted in God and ambitious about expressing the gifts that God has placed in them.
In the past I’ve shared what it is to be a virtuous man. (Click to Read) Psalm 112 outlines what it is to be a virtuous man. A virtuous man like a virtuous woman brings honor to God and his family by working hard, providing for his family, giving generously and sharing wisdom as well.
As you can see God likes symmetry. God wants to unite two whole people in the creation of one whole person. God multiplies, 1×1=1. He doesn’t add, 1/2 + 1/2 = 1. God doesn’t send someone to complete you, but to compliment you.
Marriage is the first institution or partnership if you will. It was created by God in order to generate increase. The joining of man and woman is designed to create a synergistic organization of great productivity.
Marriages aren’t to exist just so that you may spend the rest of your life with someone you are enamored with. It’s also not created so that you may be saved from the guilt of fornication. Marriage is very powerful. Marriage is the greatest partnership known to man designed to create a legacy of world changing excellence.
So I guess that means that the reason Melissa and I are so ambitious is because we are married. We both came into the marriage with God gifted abilities and those abilities have been amplified through our marriage.
We have brought together our individual relationships with God and have created a unity centered in God. It does say in Deuteronomy 32:30 that one man will chase a thousand, but two will chase ten thousand. Again, God deals in multiplication. With God as our center and with the love, support and encouragement of each other we will change the world.
The joining of a virtuous man and a virtuous woman creates so much energy, that productivity must ensue. There is no turning back. We must move forward. Therefore I must amend the thesis of this article. I praise God that my wife Melissa Nicole Pearson is not lazy.
Be blessed and enjoy your wonderful day.
Pornography. The dirty secret of mankind, the killer of relationships and the destroyer of lives.
Statistically, more than 50% of (christian) married men immerse themselves in this vial content. But, whether Christian or not, to deny the negative effects pornography has on ones life would be naive. It is even proven in scientific studies that porn can:
- Destroy trust in intimacy between couples
- Lower your sensitivity to vulgarity
- Cause a belief that marriage is restraining
- Create a lack of desire to raise children or be involved with family
- Distract your from your work, career, dreams and calling on your life
While there is no specific place in scripture where God says, “Porn is bad,” there are crucial scriptural references from which we can pull an adequate and biblical standpoint on the subject. Scriptures that cover addiction (Corinthians 6:12,) impurity/sexual immorality (Ephesians 4:19,) lust (Matthew 5:28,) etc., are all powerful and relevant references.
Still, marriages are destroyed daily, kids are left fatherless, leadership positions in the house of God are abandoned, and commitments are forgotten…all for what?
Pornography?
Let’s take a deeper look into this topic as I reveal 3 Reasons Christian Men Fall Slave to Porn.
I. They Have a Misunderstanding of Love
Point blank: God is love.
Pornography provides a false sense of love, where love is demonstrated by passion and desire rather than commitment. A misunderstanding of love can stem from a vast array of life issues, (we all have them.) But, when we don’t understand that God is love, we tend to fill that void with things that temporarily make us feel good.
When you are living a life without a true understanding of love, you are holding yourself back from complete freedom in the Lord and are willingly opening the doors to resentment in your marriage.
You can, however, overcome; not by your own strength, but by gaining knowledge and wisdom on the subject of true love from a biblical standpoint.
II. Their Marriage Is Not Satisfying
Relationships, especially marriages, take a lot of work. Day-in and day-out, it takes effort to sustain a Godly marriage, which can be quite draining, mentally and physically. Porn offers (Christian) men a ‘solution’ where they:
- Don’t have to make commitments
- Aren’t required to express romance
- Don’t have to sacrifice
- Aren’t limited to one woman
- Don’t have to hear “no thanks…”
The often unknown truth about marital intimacy, is that sexual satisfaction takes time (longer in some marriages than others.) There needs to be a balance of understanding, grace and sacrifice that takes place during this time of growth.
III. They Don’t Understand God’s Order
A man is driven by his ability to conquer, lead and protect; we are hardwired with these natural instincts. But these instincts can become distorted, and we can easily forget them if we allow our marriage to get out of order. When your marriage operates out of God’s order, it leaves room for you to turn to addictions that still give you that sense of control.
If a man understands and obediently follows God’s order in his Christian marriage, it leaves no room for error in sexual sin. (Note that I said ‘no room for error’ and not ‘no room for temptation.’ Temptation will always be there, but error doesn’t have to be.)
Ultimately, when you look past all of the distortion that porn addiction brings to a marriage, it all boils down to the fact that the man is changing up God’s intended order. He is putting his own needs before His wife’s needs, and since he is the spiritual leader of his home, impurity is inevitably where he leads his family.
Don’t go down a path you weren’t created for. Man up and lead your marriage to greatness.
Today I asked God why are marriages under an all-time attack. The scripture that came to my spirit was “Two are better than One.. (See below)
“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!
Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.
By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped”. Ephesians 4:9-12
Married couples- the enemy is after what you can accomplish together!! He’s not concerned about you being in love. He doesn’t care about your well-being or your happiness. The thing that he wants is what your potential together can achieve. The enemy hates ACHEIVEMENT therefore he is the author of stagnation. He doesn’t want your life together to bless anyone!! There is an acceleration that comes with doing marriage God’s way. Ephesians tell us that you can SHARE the work together, you can help your spouse when he/she falls (it happens) and you can face the WORST TOGETHER!! That’s sounds very promising to me! J Let the perks of your friendship with your spouse work for your good.
I urge you to FIGHT for your marriage. Fight to walk together!! Fight to agree with God together! Fight to become better!! Understand that learning how to walk together doesn’t come overnight hence we have to unlearn what we’ve known marriage to be. It is a work in progress. It intel’s humbling ourselves under the hand of God. This means that you humble yourself in prayer and worship telling God that you don’t have all of the answers and to fill your heart with wisdom and strength. The bible says God “resist the proud but gives GRACE to the humble” (James 4:6). Grace is the ability to accomplish the things that you can’t do alone. You must remember that you CANNOT accomplish much outside of God’s help/will. If you do, it will be short lived. God gives us eternal stamina, eternal love and eternal strength in our marriages.
If you are feeling hopeless in your marriage remember you are not alone, we’ve all experienced this temporary feeling before. Hopelessness is a fragmented view created by the emotions and is based upon what you see and feel. The bible says that LOVE hopes all things. Hope is the fuel to endurance and it creates the RIGHT perspective about your spouse. My husband absolutely LOVES to know that I think and believe the Best about him even when the situation doesn’t appear promising. Hope works twofold. It’s working the right mentality in you and its helping your spouse understand and experience the love of God through your life.
Don’t give up!!!! Fight to become better and walk together in Christ and ENJOY the perks of having a companion in your life!
I am praying for you.
Best,
Kimberly Allen
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Welcome to the M&Y Community!
Women always say “He is supposed to find me”; well, will you be ready when he does?
Men pursue, but your job is to be in a position to be pursued and ultimately ready for marriage.
Here are 25 ways to position yourself to be pursued for marriage:
- Know yourself, your strengths, weakness, and what you bring to the table.
- Be settled in a career or calling. Finish school or the certificate that you need. )
- Get counseling on any areas that need inner healing.
- Identify spiritual issues and get deliverance if need be.
- Ask friends who are males what can help you become a better future wife.
- Live by yourself for a season and learn to become the CEO of a home (cooking, cleaning, budgeting, etc.).
- Be comfortable about your looks and who you are. If you are not work on them.
- Learn how to hear the voice of God.
- Learn how to pray.
- Learn how to serve.
- Admit you want a husband. Acting like you don’t care repels what you want.
- Be cheerful, smile, and laugh. Life is beautiful.
- Be a woman of peace. Men are attracted to peace and stability.
- Learn to be consistent in your emotions. Men do not like drama.
- Pay off debt and learn how to manage your money.
- Travel and expand your world view. You will have something to talk about beyond shoes and bags.
- Spend time with some older married women.
- When guys approach you, DON’T PLAY HARD TO GET if you are interested. Respond with kindness.
- Spend time around children.
- Be open to other races and men who might be a BIT younger or older.
- Rip your long list of “must haves” in half.
- Volunteer your free time to a favorite cause.
- Have a five year and ten year vision plan.
- Be confident.
- Be GRATEFUL. Gratefulness is a doorway to increase in our lives!