Natasha and I are always looking for ways to do eat in date nights. Why? Because, it saves so much money. Lol!
No, but seriously we have those weeks that we both just want to stay home to cuddle on the couch with a good movie. Date nights are so essential for the health of your marriage because it gives you time to wind down together and focus on each other.
This requires intentionality or it will not happen.
Being married and young with no kids, which expires August 4th, provides us with the luxury of making any night date night. Since this is going to change very soon we are trying to live it up while we can.
The problem we always run into when deciding to do a date night at home is what in the World are we going to eat and who is going to cook?
We were given the opportunity to try the California Pizza Kitchen’s Hand-Tossed Style Crust Oven-Ready Pizza BBQ Recipe with Chicken and Bacon. Let me tell you right now, it was oh so good!
The beautiful thing was it was only $6.00!
I decided to cut up some from fresh fruit to go along with it, and my mercy it complimented the pizza so well.
. 
I definitely encourage you and your spouse to check out this meal idea for a night you decide to stay in.
Disclosure Statement:
This is a sponsored post brought to you by California Pizza Kitchen. We have partnered with them to spread the word about their hand tossed style oven ready pizza.
Month: June 2015
Guest Writer: Lauren Anderson
This is the first time I am opening up about my rape two years ago. After it happened, I quickly moved on and “didn’t let it bother me.” But, recently life kind of slap me in the face and I ran into the guy who drugged me and raped me two years ago.
I wasn’t aware of the effects it had on me until I had to re-face the situation. I was traumatized all over again. PTSD does not just happen in war, and it was something I truly had to take the time to walk though.
As I write this post, I know most of you don’t know me, but some of you may. I want my story to be heard because of the beauty that has come out of it. I have felt alone because of this experience and I never really knew how to process it all, or truly heal from it. Today I read this poem to my Counselor, who had me write this to the guy who raped me. For the first time, I felt the healing from the power of what God’s LOVE has truly done through the situation.
No matter what you’ve been through, faith is all you need to get through it….faith that God is GOOD. Truly living by faith and not by sight. We have a choice to live in despair as a victim, or with faith as a conqueror. I chose faith and most of the time it wasn’t easy. But…no matter what you’re facing…..I pray you keep faith. I will never try to understand God, because I know I can’t. My “why’s” may never be answered, but I probably wouldn’t understand them now anyways. So, here it is…….my raw emotions displayed for you to see. A part of who I am.
__________________________________________
You Robbed Me……
When a robber breaks into your house, they invade your space, they go where they don’t belong.
A place you considered to be safe and comforting, the place you called Home.
They go in with the intention of taking something of value, something that is not theirs.
You Robbed Me.
You took the comfort and safety out of the very home that I live and breathe in.
You invaded my space and who I am.
You changed me.
Because of you I am different, I see differently, and I feel differently.
I did not invite you in to change me and to take value, but you took without thinking.
You took without considering the true value of what you were taking.
…..a part of ME
A part of me that someone else will want “to have and to hold,”
A part of me that requires trust and time…..You just took it.
I may not remember it and I don’t have memories to haunt me, but I feel the void.
In the very core of who I am I know what you took, and THAT haunts me.
It haunts me in a way that I feel at fault, that I should have done something more to stop you.
That I was the one who was wrong.
That I should have seen you coming.
But no…you came in the darkness of the night…my unconsciousness.
Waking up and knowing something was different, knowing what you did and my body was unable to stop it.
You took away my control of the sole thing I thought I may have real control over in this world….myself.
You took beauty and replaced it with filth.
You took light and replaced it with darkness.
You took confidence and left insecurities.
You took romance and left doubt.
You took faith and trust and left me with question.
You left me with a scar that I have to know is within me the rest of my life. A scar that is not visible, but felt. Felt in the very inner part of me.
You will never know, or even give it another thought.
You took and yet got nothing.
You took a part of me….A part of me you never even knew.
BUT
Here’s the Beauty in the Midst of Darkness.
You also GAVE me something.
You took what no man can replace yes, but you gave me reason to search.
You gave me a situation to overcome.
You gave me darkness so I could truly search for light.
You gave me questions so I could truly search for who I really am.
You gave me something I could never overcome alone….and though you made me feel alone…I now know I am not….and never was.
You gave me a rock bottom so I could know who was the rock at my bottom.
WHY?…………because I have a God who turns ashes into Beauty.
About the Guest Contributing Writer: My name is Lauren Anderson and I am currently working towards my Masters Degree in Counseling at Dallas Baptist University. I am passionate about helping people and this has only grown by walking through my own traumatic experiences of being raped two years ago. It’s nothing you see coming as is true with every traumatic event and is nothing you can be prepared for. It’s been a long journey but God has shown me more about him and myself than I could ever ask for. You are never alone.
Categories
Father's Day Parade Poem
Father’s Day Parade
Thank you my brother for taking care of your fam
Even if no one says it, I’m proud of you, I am
Get up to go to work, even though you hate it
Taking mess from your boss, feeling low and degraded
Be proud of what you do, just know you’re the man
Giving all you’ve got, doing all you can
To keep the lights on, stomachs tight and full
That’s what makes you a king, over your kingdom rule
Love your wife so that your son will act right
Make sure to take your daughter out for a special night
Set the example, for that’s all they’ll understand
You’re the Bishop of your home, it’s part of God’s plan
Your family’s taken care of, they’ve got it made in the shade
You’re doing your job well, and that’s your father’s day parade
Be blessed and enjoy your day.
Joel Pearson
Recently I have been dwelling on the scripture Ephesians 5: 28 “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.” Though it is straight forward, I have found it to be packed with meaning. I have watched the men around me falter in their relationships because of lack of self control, or what we consider to be selfishness.
The fact that a person would stray from their spouse, whether through cheating or finding something else to occupy their time and energy, must mean that they love themselves more than they love their spouse. But, I have learned that this is not true.
When a person is incapable of loving his/her spouse, it is not because they love themselves too much, it is because he/she lacks love all together.
When anyone is in search of anything outside of the marriage to compensate for what they believe is missing, it means there is a void that nothing but Christ can fill. Your spouse is incapable of loving you without first loving himself. You cannot teach your spouse how to love you, and it certainly isn’t your job either. We learn true love from Christ and his examples in the word of God. Ephesians 3:19 says, “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.
Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Completion cannot come from anyone but Christ. It certainly will not come from you, because you are just as imperfect as your straying spouse. Though you may not see it or exhibit it in the same way your spouse does, you may have some work to do on yourself.
An imbalanced marriage does not occur because of one person. It is a collection of occurrences on both parts that leads to a break down.
If you are feeling unloved or unsupported, it is up to you to say so, but it is not up to you to fix it. This means that it is not up to you to fix or change the person that you are with so that you can be loved the way you want to be.
Remember, if your spouse is not loving you right, then he/she is not loving him/herself in the right way either. You should voice your feelings and be supportive in any way that you can while your spouse is learning how to love and forgive him/herself, but don’t think that you have the answer to their problems. The answer only lies in one entity: Christ.
When dealing with a spouse who isn’t on the same page as you are, the best thing you can do is pray and lead by example. “And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband[d] brings holiness to his marriage.” (2 Corinthians 7:13-15). Holiness in a marriage means loving unconditionally.
It means learning how to love and forgive yourself and your spouse. It means to put your foundation in the things of God and when you are grounded in God, you both are grounded in each other. Don’t allow your spouse’s negative behavior to dictate yours.
When you do allow their behavior to dictate yours, you’re be throwing away the chance that you have to help get your relationship back on course.
I have found that anytime I have felt neglected, unloved, or alone, God always reminded me that I still have to do my part as a wife. My husband would see my dedication to God and to him, and would strive to match me. Of course I always learn that I am overreacting to certain behaviors, but I also see a change in him.
Marriage is a forever covenant that you make with an imperfect and emotional person. As the spouse of someone who does not seem to love you in the same way anymore, you should find your place in Christ, pray hard, and continue to love your spouse through both actions and words. Your faithfulness to your spouse and your Lord may spark a change in him/her.
My wife is currently 6 months pregnant with our precious princess, Harvest Ann Miller. We are so excited to bring this bundle of joy into the world. Pregnancy has been a serious time of learning, adjusting, and embracing.
Here are 10 things every pregnant wife needs from her husband:
1. Respond to the announcement of the baby and gender appropriately.
Your reaction to the initial announcement of your wife’s pregnancy means the world to her. When we found out we were pregnant, I was equally as excited as my wife. The challenge came when we were about to find out the gender of the baby. I can honestly say I thought we were having a boy. I remember the look on my face when we found out we were having a girl. I had to quickly adjust it in order to not disappoint my wife. This was such an important moment for her and for every woman; they needs to know you are just as excited as she is! This is all a part of the journey.
2. Tell her she is beautiful and mean it.
Your wife is going through a lot of changes and with those changes comes a hit to her confidence. Hearing, “you are beautiful” from the man she loves more than anything is something that will keep her heart secure in your love.
3. Start interacting with the baby now.
The baby is developing inside of your wife, which makes it really hard for you to feel as connected to the baby as your wife is. This is why you must make intentional steps when it comes to interacting with the baby. One thing I would do each night after my wife falls asleep is hold her belly and pray over my baby girl. This really helped me to start interacting with her and to begin to feel connected to Harvest
4. Massage every part of her body, especially her back.
This right here will make her fall in love with you all over again. This should be done at least one time every day. Take some time and ask your wife where she would like a massage, and I guarantee you will have one happy wife.
5.Don’t take it personal.
Do not take the things that may come out of your wives mouth personal. Give her grace as she undergoes a lot of changes and pressure she is learning how to deal with. She needs support, not fighting.
6. Adjust to her changing love languages.
During pregnancy the way your wife receives love will change. Try out different things to continue meeting her needs. Don’t be afraid to ask her what she wants and be open to serving her in new ways.
7. Learn what is happening in her mind and body.
Read books that will help you better understand what is happening in her body. I subscribed to a pregnancy app that sends me emails each morning with a new tip and update on where my wife is in her pregnancy journey. This helps in our conversations, and is even handy when we are at doctor’s appointments
8. Go to all doctor’s appointment.
I was late to our first appointment due to work and the look on my wife’s face when I arrived was something I never want to see again. Your wife wants you at every appointment; so, make every effort possible to be at each one and to be on time.
9. Let her sleep.
Your wife will experience a strong drain of energy. Take up some extra responsibilities around the house in order to allow her to rest. When she has the sleep she needs, she will be able to function and live much more comfortably, and trust me, you will benefit as well.
10. Be patient and enjoy the journey.
Pregnancy is a journey and if you can be patient with your wife along the ride, your relationship will become stronger than ever. This is the preparation time for entry into one of the most rewarding seasons of your life.
Hey Everyone!
It’s Jamal and Natasha, Founders of Marriedandyoung.com! We are so excited to share with you a preview of our maternity shoot. It has been such a journey since we first met on Facebook till now preparing to have our first child. Our little girl, Harvest Ann Miller, is already changing our lives and she hasn’t even made it into the World yet.
We pray you are encouraged by the love in these photos. Marriage is not easy, but it’s worth it. The joys of doing life with one person everyday that is able to see all your flaws, but still chooses to love you unconditionally is the type of love Christ died for. If your married, don’t give up! If your single, don’t give up! Keep pressing towards God’s plan and purpose!
Here is a snippet of our Maternity Shoot done by Angela Groce with Unveiled Radiance Photography!
You can find here at http://unveiledradiancephotography.com
Enjoy!
Categories
Confessions Of A Virgin
Guest Writer: Daphney Marc
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always subconsciously treated my body like a prized possession and I’ve never felt comfortable wearing clothing that over exposed. When picking out an outfit, I usually have a coverage ratio; meaning If my arms are bare my legs must be covered and vice versa.
I’m not sure where it stems from, but I consider it a blessing, and I take pride in treating my body like a temple as the Bible states in Corinthians 6:19-20 “Do you know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
Some may call it being “conservative,” but it’s a contributing factor to why I’ve decided to remain a virgin until marriage.
Now, being a virgin is something incredibly rare these days, especially at the age of 27. But, from the time I was a teen I made a decision that I was going to wait.
I did have momentary thoughts of “maybe if I don’t find the one by the time I’m 25, then maybe it will be okay… cause at the point mostly everyone has done it.”
However, waiting is ultimately a value of mine, and I wish that society placed more emphasis on waiting instead of it being something considered bizarre, or that is limited to the prudish few who are most likely waiting for religious purposes.
Although I am proud that I haven’t succumbed to temptation, it’s not something that I go around telling people. But, on the rare occasions that I do, it is usually reciprocated with “Oh wow that takes a lot of discipline, how do you do it?” Or “Good luck!” And my personal favorite, “Don’t you want to test drive the car before you buy it?” Regardless of people’s views, it’s a value that I cherish even more so after my first relationship, ironically.
I actually didn’t get into my first relationship until I was well into my 20’s with a guy that I thought I was going to marry. Prior to having met me he was sexually active, but he respected my views on premarital sex and agreed to wait. He had a lot of great qualities, but I quickly realized those qualities were not enough to sustain a relationship.
Although I was the one who decided to end things, I was still distraught by the break up. As with any heartbreak, it is especially hard when you’ve opened up to the person, shown vulnerability, affection, and truly believed that you would be with the person forever. It took me a prolonged amount of time to get over that relationship, so I can’t imagine how I would have felt had I given my body to the relationship as well. Thank goodness that my values and fear of God were able to overpower my temptation; it saved me so to speak.
We live in a day and age where there’s such a high emphasis placed on sex; its everywhere, making maintaining a life of sexual purity as hard as keeping a child away from a cookie jar. Even though we are constantly bombarded with sex, we should not be overcome by the ways of the world as scripture states in Romans 12:2: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is— his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
And who wouldn’t agree that sex is more enjoyable when it is with someone you genuinely care about? And, how much better when it is with someone you have vowed to spend the rest of your life with, as it states in Ecclesiastes 9:9 “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.”
I believe if our society viewed sex as a sacred act, then not only would there be better physical health, as there are 20 million new sexually transmitted infections that develop each year in the U.S ., but our hearts would be more open, and we would be emotionally healthier when entering into a new relationship. People tend to bring forth a lot of personal baggage from previous relationships; wounds that have not fully healed that taint our views. The average person gets into about 5 relationships before they find the right person to marry; sharing your body with that many wrong suitors just seems emotionally scarring, especially for women. So, it’s best the marriage bed be kept pure; as it states in Hebrews 13:4.
With all that being said, no matter how often promiscuity is put on display, I consider my virginity to be a gift to the one who deserves it. So, I will continue to wait for the man I will marry, and maybe, just maybe, he is waiting for me too.
Biography: Daphney Marc is from Orlando, a graduate of the University of Central Florida , and works in education. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology and a Graduate Certificate in Public Administration. She has served at her local children’s church ministry and taught in grade schools for over 10 yrs. She also has experience working as a Therapeutic Mentor for young women, and is a lifestyle blogger for her own personal brand BEFAKEFREE which promotes the importance of living a life of authenticity. She enjoys music, exercising, cooking, spending time with family and friends, and most of all living for God’s Glory.
We celebrated my grandparents’ 60th (WOW!!!) wedding anniversary about five years ago. I remember my aunt asking my Grandma how they made it that far, and she responded by saying, ‘Well we just like being married! It’s easy to be married when you like it.”
On the other side of my family, I’ve had a few conversations with my Grandpa about my late Grandma. What strikes me the most each time we talk about her is the the look in his eyes. A look of sorrow, mixed with a sincere, strong and deep love. Even though it has been over a decade since she has passed away, his love for her is as real as the ground he’s standing on.
In a society where marriage can be portrayed as ‘prison,’ or something of little to no value, I find myself craving these kind of moments. Though I’m truly surrounded by solid marriages, I can’t help but acknowledge the ones that are not only strong, but have also stood an incredible test of time. Through both conversations and simply observing my grandparents, I have learned a lot of valuable lessons about marriage and love.
Here are four of them:
1. Live how you want your kids to live.
My Grandpa had written down some advice for my brother and sister-in-law before they got married, and this was some wisdom he shared. It was something I will never forget! As I pondered this truth, I began to see the reality of it revealed in my own life and the lives around me. My grandparents have without a doubt lived lives of integrity, hard work, and passion. They instilled that in each of their children, who have in turn instilled that in their children, who are currently instilling that in their children, and so on.
There is so much power in maintaining standards for yourself that you want to see your children to live up to. As a teacher, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a child say something along the lines of ‘My dad is good at baseball so I’m good at it too,’ or on the flip side, ‘My mom wasn’t good at math so I probably won’t be either.’ Kids take so much pride in being like their parents, so you might as well choose to be a person that is worth following after!
2. Go out dancing!
My grandparents always talk about how they used to go dancing. I love to hear them talk about it! Their eyes light up as they recount tearing up the dance floor. I may be over-analyzing, but they seem to fall a little bit more in love with each other every time they talk about it.
Now, I’m not saying every marriage requires a good swing dancing lesson once a week, but I do believe that finding an activity that catches the interest of each spouse can create a special bond and memories that will have the ability to sustain joy through tougher times.
3. Recognize and utilize strengths.
My grandparents were living during a time where wives were expected to be homemakers – cook, clean, take care of the children, etc. Both of my grandmas did just that. My grandfathers worked hard to provide for the family and spent more time working outside. In both marriages, they all thrived in these roles! By no means am I saying that men and women should be confined to certain skill sets, but there is something to be said about acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, and then using them to create a effective partnership. We are all created uniquely and with purpose!
4. Love with a big YES.
It seems that there are some husbands and wives who are more concerned about who or what they should say ‘no’ to that their heart, ironically, is more easily divided. I’ve seen from both sets of grandparents that they so deeply love each other, and that they have continually chosen to say ‘yes’ to their dedication to choose one another. Because of this, their hearts don’t have space to stray away from their commitment. Loving with a big yes also makes mistakes more easily forgivable and forgotten, sacrifices easier to make, and increases trust between each spouse.
Guest Contributing Writer : Calvin O’Neal Russell Jr
At my daily profession, I see over 20-30 credit applications per day from married couples. I see credit scores ranging from 400’s all the way to the prestigious 850 scores. I have noticed that there are similarities with every score of course, but the ones that my clients always ask about are the 800+ scores. Though every report is slightly different with the number of accounts and other various factors, I have seen a breakdown of what you can expect to see on every 800+ credit report.
Here are 4 components of 800+ credit score holders:
1. Authorized Users.
Married Couples always make sure that both of them are on each credit bearing account. This is by far the most important step in building and maintaining credit scores and reports for married couples. How do you do it? Simple. Every credit card account and installment account had the spouse as the authorized user or co-signer. First, what is an “Authorized User?” An Authorized User is someone that is added to an account and receives credit for the activity on the account, which can be positive or negative. Doing this will build and maintain credit for both the primary account holder and the spouse. Why do this you ask? Well, this keeps the couples credit scores high and they never have to worry about too many accounts being in only one spouse’s name, which could cause problems down the road.
2. 8-10 Different Accounts.
Married couples average 8-10 open accounts. Yes, you read that correctly. Most married couples with 800+ reports have between 8-10 open revolving/installment accounts. These accounts consist of 3-5 Revolving Accounts (Credit or Dept. Store Credit Cards) and 3-5 Installment Accounts (Home, Auto, or Student Loans). It is always great to have a good mix of accounts as this show lenders you can manage debt well. Also note that I said “different” accounts. If a consumer has, let’s say 8 credit cards open, that doesn’t mean they will never reach 800, but it will take much longer to reach the 800’s because those scores require a mix of accounts.
3. 8-11 Year Average Opened Account.
Married Couples have an average credit history of 8-11 years. Having a few accounts open is good, but having those same accounts opened for 8-11 years, on average, is even better. How can you do this? Simple. You can accomplish this simply by keeping accounts open. But what about Auto Loans and Home Loans? Won’t those eventually go away after 7 years of the last payment? Absolutely, this is why the only way to accomplish this is with revolving accounts. You see, with revolving accounts, you can keep them open as long as you want. Assuming you make all of your payments on time, the lender will increase your limit over time as well.
4. 95% – 100% On Time Payments.
And last but not least, Married Couples pay their bills on time as a team. This factor is something that everyone knows, but it’s actually doing this over a period of 8 years or more that helps maintain a high credit score for a married couple. Most credit reports show the last 48 payments (4 Years) on a single account. Multiply that along with 8-10 different accounts and you have well over 384 on time payments. Payment history makes up 35% of your credit score, and this is key to maintaining a high credit score. Not to mention that this alone, assuming both names are on each account, will increase both the primary and secondary account holders’ credit scores.
The Bottom Line
Now that you know The 4 Habits Of Married Couples With 800+ Credit Scores! Be sure to share this information with those you think would benefit from it. For more information on this topic, or to read more topics similar to this one, please visit us online at www.gosimplypro.com.
Calvin O’Neal Russell Jr is a Certified FICO Professional and the CEO & Founder of Simply Professional Credit Consultation. SP Credit Consultation has helped hundreds of people increase their credit scores, qualify for homes, cars, and lower interest rates with their personal, Step-By- Step Action Plans. Contact us today to learn more or email us at info@gosimplypro.com.
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