Category: Physical Intimacy

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Physical Intimacy Single Spiritual Intimacy

The Day I Reached My Breaking Point

Written By: Jessica Dent
 
At some point or another, we all reach a breaking point where we’re forced to come to the end of ourselves. When we do come to our own end, there should be something there waiting for us, offering us another option, another way out from our former lives. If at the end of yourself, you find nothing there to usher you into something new, uncomfortable, and challenging then you will likely go back to what kept you comfortable. You would be going back into your cycle. When will it end? When will you finally want more for yourself and not keep yourself comfortable on the cushion of mediocrity? When will you realize that what shaped you in your beginning does not have to be your ending (Ecclesiastes 7:8)? The cycle that your parents groomed you in doesn’t have to be the same for you, your children, or your future spouse (2 Corinthians 5:17).
 
Since I was 15 years old, fending for myself was my way of life. If no one did it for me, then I had to do it for myself. If I needed money, I worked for it–legally of course. If my brother and I needed food, I bought it.  If the lights needed to stay on, then I took care of the bill. I was a working teenager in high school trying to maintain a household for my brother, my drug-addicted mother, and myself. I grew up with the hustle mindset which would later lead me to the worship of self and ultimately develop the spirit of pride. Sure, I believed that God existed, but seeing Him as my Father, let alone my provider? I didn’t quite know Him back then but instead, I knew of Him. I was extremely prideful and I was nothing short of an orphan, literally and spiritually, and filled to the brim with insecurities. But when you’re surviving, you’re too busy to notice that you’re bleeding along the way.
 
I was a foster child and was later adopted. My birth mother was also an addict and I never knew my father. Yes, just in case you’re asking me, both my birth and adopted mothers struggled with drug addiction abuse. Along the way though, I thought I did pretty good “keeping it all together”, and then relationships happened and my mess showed. I dove into those relationships head first and with no sobriety and you can pretty much go down the checklist to see why. I was looking for love in all the wrong places and I really mean in all the wrong people– not just romantic but in friendships and parental relationships. Nothing seemed to fit the way I desired it to, which explains why when I gave my life 100% over to Christ, the relationships that I tried to force were stripped away.
 
My lack of identity helped to cultivate my pattern of toxic relationships. During that time, I was in pursuit of the greatest love that I would ever know, but learned that nothing would compare to it once I experienced it. God was the first love that I didn’t have to fall for. All that time I was in pursuit of God but didn’t know it. Therefore, my thirst led me to the wrong things, the wrong relationships, and I kept them all past their expiration dates. It wasn’t until my mid-twenties when I realized that I was coming to the end of myself. That was when I realized that I was bleeding and in need of medical attention. The cycles that I found myself in were later introduced to The Breaker–Jesus. My future couldn’t look like what my past was. Enough was enough and I had to be broken. However, not by the hands of another, but gracefully this time by the hands of God.  If any of this speaks to you then I urge you to BREAK THE CYCLE, starting NOW! I wholeheartedly believe in what the 4-day Break the Cycle Challenge is all about and if you want to get free from the past for a healthy future and marriage, then you honestly don’t want to miss out. Your future does not have to look like your past (Philippians 3:13). Are you ready to come to the end of yourself now? Sign up HERE !

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Physical Intimacy Single Spiritual Intimacy

You Need More Jesus, Not More Sex.

Written by: Richelle Henry
I remember staring at the shadow of his figure moving from the bed and out of the bedroom door.  All I could do was lay there and wonder, “how did I get I here?”  How in the world did my good ol’ Christian self, end up in this man’s bed?  I should have gone home! I should have told him no! I should have left when he told me to! But…I stayed. I stayed out of brokenness. I stayed out of loneliness. I stayed out of desperation. I just wanted to be held. I wanted to feel important. I wanted to feel wanted.
I can remember this day and many others like it, like they all occurred yesterday. The feelings of pseudo-comfort, shame, disgust, disappointment, and guilt are what I recall the most. It seems that the soul screams the loudest in those, “You KNEW better” scenarios. I mean, I’ve heard of boundaries. I’ve been saved all of my life. I remember the strict “courtship” rules of no phone calls after 9pm and even going on group dates. But, that advice didn’t work for me. I still made the decision to act upon a desire that left me feeling unredeemable and ultimately separated from God.
You’re probably asking yourself as I did in the moments stated above–Where do I go from here? Do I mourn and grieve over the fact that I knew better and still chose to disobey? I knew the scripture that said I should flee from sexual immorality (See 1 Corinthians 6:18)—but my wounded heart had me making strides towards it instead. Do I run back and keep engaging in the act because, “hey, I already fell? I already have to repent.” Or do I get out of this bed, go before the Lord and be as totally transparent as possible in total confidence that He will hear me and answer?
I suggest that you choose the latter of all these options.
I know that you’re probably feeling really disappointed in yourself. The last time was supposed to be the last time—right? I hear you and can feel the shame that you’re probably carrying. But let me encourage you with this—the Father loves you and longs to restore you. When you think of the word restoration, what comes to mind? Repairing? Making whole? Well, the word “restore” means to bring something back to its original condition due to its current condition being either disfigured, used, or altered. Don’t you know that the Lord can bring you back to the version He intended on you becoming—before you fell. But you must be open and completely transparent with Him throughout the process. You’re probably asking, “what is there to be honest about? He’s God. He should know!” Yes, you’re correct. However—the transparency isn’t for God—it’s for you. It’s for you to become aware of the roots, reasons, and decisions along the way that may have caused you to fall. Transparency heightens your awareness so that you can better assess your heart and the manner in which it responds to crisis, traumas, setbacks, and even temptations.
Let’s start here. Why did you fall? What caused you to make the decision to engage in another one-night stand, “friend with benefits,” or engage in another “we’ll repent about this later..” moment?  Your reasons are bigger than just wanting to feel good. While that may be some of the reason, remember that even pleasure has a motive. I repeat—pleasure ALWAYS has a motive.  Find out what may have triggered you. What were you thinking of when you made the decision? Was it a bad day? A moment where thoughts of low self-esteem were clouding your mind? Were you wanting to feel valued or appreciated? Struggling with issues of rejection? Feeling unwanted? Loneliness? Regardless of what your reason was, remember that in these moments, it was your soul crying out for Christ, not just your body longing to be touched.
You see, when we talk about sexual sin—it’s so much bigger than a moment—it’s a decision. It’s a decision that places sexual pleasure and the like on a pedestal of “better,” over Christ’s ability to truly fulfill. Christ and Christ alone satisfies (See Psalm 62:1). He’s the only one that can come and drown loneliness, rejection, abandonment, insecurity, low self-esteem, hurt, or sadness with the currents of His love. When we make the decision to tread in the waters of sexual sin—we run the risk of drowning in that which we are meant to rise above—the snares and traps of sin. But with Christ and in Christ, you are well-equipped to deal with sexual sin—because He’s already overcome it (See 1 Corinthians 15:56-57)
Choose today to hit ignore, cancel that standing appointment on Friday night, and make a new decision. Make the decision to be completely open before the Lord and ask Him to fill you. Go to Him in confidence that He will cleanse you (See Psalm 51:2), empower you to resist temptation (See 1 Corinthians 10:13), and will ultimately fill and satisfy the voids within you (See Psalm 107:9).
“Come back to me, you wayward people. I want to cure your waywardness. Say, ‘Here we are. We come to you because you are the LORD our God.”- Jeremiah 3:22
His embrace and love alone can fill those longings—not another. Run to Him, instead.
 
LISTEN! Don’t forget to Join me and thousands of others on Married & Young’s FREE 4-day “Break The Cycle” challenge starting on Monday, February 5. We are breaking the patterns OFF our lives NOW, so we don’t repeat them later. Click HERE to sign up!

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Dating/Courting Physical Intimacy Single

Convicted: How I Broke the Spirit of Lust Off of Me

Portrait of black man very happy, smiling in urban background

Written By: George Hines Jr
We all know that there is a Law of Nature that all humans intrinsically want to uphold. This issue with me was that I only wanted the parts of the law that accommodated all my personal tendencies.
 
My entire childhood, I was a pretty precocious. I learned to be deceiving before I learned consequences. Today, I’m paying dearly for it.

I began loving soft pornography around the age of 7. This passion continued to develop after years of enthusiastic humping, (clothes on) as well as an equal amount of years hunching, (clothes off).

Never did it cross my mind that what I was experiencing was a generational struggle of perversion.  

My sons won’t know this struggle of perversion. They will be taught from a very early age about sex: its purpose, its requirements and its parameters.

This isn’t the prettiest story, but it’s real. At the age of 18, my mama called and requested that I take 7 days to totally focus on sanctification. “NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY” is what she told me.

No big deal right? I proceeded to knock out the seven days….

7 years later at the age of 25, I’m lying in my bed, masturbating and for the first time ever I feel like a nasty bum.

Right there in that moment I cried out to God for help. After 7 years of failing to complete a 7 day process, I had finally done it!

This changed everything.

Prior to this moment, my life was totally filled with unbridled pleasure and and utter disregard for any woman who tried to love me.

I was cold hearted and unbothered. Years of pornography, masturbation, and troves of sex partners had stolen not only my manhood but my humanity.

My testimony?

God can reach us anywhere! We can never go too far for God’s grace to reach us.

This cycle of perversion stops with me! My sons will know my struggle but never experience it firsthand.
What God has done and continues to do in my life is nothing short of a miracle. Where he’s brought me from still amazes me.
I am committed to breaking this cycle over my entire bloodline. And the journey is far from over but it has certainly been a catalyst for many others who are faced with the same struggles.

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Communication Home Marriage Physical Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy

3 Prayers to Become A Better Wife

Young girl praying in nature by the Sea

When I first got married 9 years ago, I learned the value of the pursuit of prayer dealing with circumstances we faced and disagreements we had. I was taught in church how the Lord wants to be included in every aspect of our lives. He desires for us to talk to Him and pray about everything. Nothing is too small or too big for the Lord because He’s always listening. But as He listens, He wants the conversation to be a two-way connection. He talks, you listen. You talk, He listens (1 John 5:14-15).
So I did just that in my prayer time. However, I would often spend time praying and talking to God, seeing no change to the challenges we were having. I remember one day crying out to God saying, “Do you hear me, God, are you listening?” I struggled with knowing if God actually heard me and played the blame game with my husband because I felt he needed to change more than I did. One day, while in a Christian bookstore, I spotted a CD series entitled, “Wife after God: Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband.” From that moment, my life drastically changed in how I approached God in prayer.
I learned that praying for my husband meant God was changing me! I was getting caught up in all the things that I wanted God to change about him, when all God was speaking back to me was about me. What a reality check! As I continued to pray and listen to the CD series, seeds were planted that came against everything that I thought was wrong in my marriage. As I began to apply the principles I learned, changes happened because I developed a heart after God and a heart of compassion for our marriage (Psalm 32:8). One dramatic change from my prayers was I learned (and I am still learning) how to be a better wife for my husband.
Here are 3 things I learned to pray for to become a better wife:

  1. To serve and honor my husband well: I learned that loyalty is sometimes demonstrated in marital challenges. As I prayed, God shared that difficult times were what He was using to cultivate the depth of my commitment to Him and my husband. My demonstration of loyalty, affirmation, genuine love, and a servant’s heart allowed me to grow in godly character towards my husband (Philippians 2:1-4).
  1. To think before you speak: Proverbs 21:23 offers some good advice: “Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.” I learned to ask God when I prayed to give me the best time to talk with my husband and the right tone when communicating with him.
  1. To set aside time for each other: Praying about our quality time taught me to be intentional with our special times together. Date nights could be watching Netflix together, taking walks, or having game nights. Remember, the most important thing is to strengthen your love connection and be creative!

A happy marriage is worth the effort of allowing God to help you become a better mate for your husband or wife. What prayers could you pray to strengthen your marriage?
 

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Dating/Courting Home Physical Intimacy Single

Abstaining From Sex: The Ammunition You Need

It’s everywhere. SEX. It’s on the TV, it’s in the magazines, books, music, posters, movies… EVERYWHERE. So unless you plan on becoming a hermit and staying indoors doing nothing, then I suggest you get some ammunition and learn how to use it.
After speaking with a few people through my blog and business, I thought I would write a post and tell you what helps me keep my vow of purity. Oh, just in case you didn’t know, I run a Christian business geared toward helping men and women stay celibate until marriage. Also, if you read to the end, I’ll have a surprise for you at the end of this post. **Giveaway Alert**
I use the word ammunition in my title because literally there is a fight we experience in our everyday lives to remain pure. The enemy is armed and dangerous and he’s not afraid to use his weapons. So why are we?
Here’s what I’m locked and loaded with:
Prayer
This is the vehicle in which the Lord has given us to communicate with Him. So why don’t we use it? It’s literally available to us anytime of the day. And it’s my first choice when I’m faced with impure thoughts. I just simply say,

“Lord, fill my thoughts with thoughts of you and your goodness. Help me to block the tactics of the enemy that’s trying to infiltrate my mind. Right now I choose to think on everything that is pure and lovely.”

It’s nothing long and drawn out- when the enemy is quickly approaching, or better yet, when he has already used his weapon, you have to use what’s in your arsenal.
Sometimes I even pray my go-to scripture, But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desire” (Romans 13:14)
I encourage you to find a scripture of choice and use it when the enemy is trying to wage war on your mind.
Accountability
You need to find someone who is on the journey of abstaining from sex like you. I recommend finding someone who is further along in the journey than you, that way they can tell you what help keeps them from falling victim to the enemies tactics. See, they more than likely have a language for the season you’re entering or you’ve been in and they will definitely give you sound advice. This is also a person that you should be able to share your struggles with- someone that you plan to be truthful and honest with, because what’s the point of having accountability otherwise?
Listen, I love my accountability partners, I have two- I call them when I need prayer, when I need to talk, and when I need encouragement. I remember one time I texted one of them at a very early hour in the morning and guess, what she responded. This isn’t a walk you have to do by yourself, there are plenty of people, Christians, out here living for the Lord and taking their vow of purity seriously.
My Purity Card
Yes! I carry my card with me everywhere. It’s in my wallet, so I have the ability to pull it out at anytime, anywhere. It’s a great reminder. It’s something about seeing my signature on the card- it reminds me that the decision I made to abstain from sex until marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s a contract between me and the Lord, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t dishonor any contract I made with my Lord and Savior. (If you want a copy of the card, you can email me at crownedyou@gmail.com).
If you want to join me in this fight for purity, comment below and let me know! I’d love to pray for you and encourage you. I’ll also be entering your comment into a drawing to win an item from my company Crowned, LLC. So be sure to leave enough information so that I can get back in contact with you and follow us on Instagram.

 

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Communication Marriage Physical Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy

3 Ways to Recharge Your Marriage

Cute black couple talking and holding hands

Couples can be so busy with the demands of life that they forget to create moments of intimacy as a means of recharging and refreshing their relationship. In fact, many marriages suffer because couples do not reset their perspectives and connect with one another on a regular basis (Proverbs 29:18). Spending quality time with your spouse keeps the fire of intimacy burning continually in your marriage. It also helps couples to re-center their marriage and refresh their hearts for one another.
When God’s love is the motivation for quality time in marriages, it creates amazing intimacy and growth. Don’t let “the unimportant” outweigh the importance of building a great marriage. I have learned that making a priority of spending time together creates meaningful and memorable moments that strengthen your bond and adds depth to your marriage for the years to come. Here are three ways to make quality time a top priority in your marriage:

  1. Take the time to dream together. Amos 3:3 says how can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? Spending quality time is the perfect time to talk, dream, pray, and seek God about His vision and direction for your marriage. Spend time worshipping and thanking God for all that He has done in your marriage. Taking a relaxing walk in a park, on the beach, or in your neighborhood as you dream with one another creates connection and communication without boundaries as you grow closer to Jesus and each other.
  1. Have romantic date nights and spontaneous getaways. This means turning off cell phones and laptops to devote your undivided attention and enjoy one another. Date nights and spontaneous getaways don’t have to be expensive. Take a weekend drive to try a new restaurant, go to a movie and have coffee afterwards, or make a romantic dinner together and cuddle. Whatever you do, be adventurous, laugh a lot, and most importantly, have fun (Proverbs 17:22)!
  1. Write love notes. Surprise your spouse with love notes in secret places like in a book they are reading, in their lunch for work, or on their steering wheel to find during their drive to work. An unexpected love note in the morning can create awesome evenings of intimacy and quality time to keep the passion in your marriage (Col 3:14).

Wherever you are in your marriage, it is never too late to make the commitment to spending quality time with your spouse. Find ways to keep the fire of intimacy burning in your relationship. What other ways can you and your spouse be intentional in your marriage and spend quality time with each other?
 
 
 
 
 

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Communication Marriage Physical Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy

2 Ways to Establish Healthy Boundaries to Protect Your Marriage

Cheerful couple behind table at home

Establishing healthy boundaries is essential to protect your marriage against temptation from the enemy. Proverbs 22:3 shares that “the prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.” Healthy boundaries are like guardrails and safeguards that promote the health, sacredness, and integrity of your relationship. The enemy will use infidelity to steal, kill, and destroy your marriage (John 10:10). It is important that couples use wisdom, recognizing temptation and red flags before they start to be intentional about cultivating a strong marriage that withstands the enemy’s tactics.
Here are two ways to establish healthy boundaries:
1.  Online boundaries: Being mindful of time spent on the Internet and social media is a safety net to guard against infidelity. Giving more attention to online activities versus your relationship is a recipe for disaster. Also, freely sharing your passwords is a safeguard that promotes integrity and transparency to avoid the tricks of the enemy. After all, love and respect for your spouse means being honest and devoting more time to nurturing your spouse and your relationship. Establishing a set time of turning off phones and computers shows your spouse that they are cherished, important, and worth your attention.
Your friendship with your spouse is important to cultivate a healthy marriage as well. The enemy enjoys using your past to derail your present and future. Something else to consider is rekindling past relationships on the Internet and social media. Honoring God and your spouse at all costs means not reliving your past to prevent present damage to your marriage’s future.
2. Personal boundaries: Any interactions with the opposite sex can be an avenue that the enemy uses to deliberately destroy your marriage. This includes interactions and meetings in person, via email, social media, and phone, etc. Sometimes spouses can entertain the lie of the enemy that “it is okay if your spouse doesn’t know or one meeting won’t hurt anything.” This creates distrust and doorways that the enemy can use to sabotage your union. As a safeguard, intentionally involving your spouse during interactions and meetings can deter the enemy’s plans. Remember, transparency is the key!
Establishing online and personal boundaries will protect your marriage at all costs, building a strong and healthy relationship. What practical boundaries would you consider adding to your list?

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Dating/Courting Engaged Physical Intimacy Single Spiritual Intimacy

Three Signs You’re Ignoring That Your Relationship is Wrong

Years ago, when I was younger (too young), I was in a relationship with a girl of a different faith. Despite our different beliefs, we got along wonderfully. We made one another laugh, we encouraged each other when we were down, and we left God completely out of the relationship.
On a side note, “missionary dating” is not a thing. It is a distraction and an excuse for you to suppress the Holy Spirit. You hope that, by some miracle, your “light” for Jesus will draw them home, as you “minister” to him or her by leading them on. Let’s stop that.
Now, back to my story. One evening, I was home alone. The wind was howling, the freezing rain was pelting the windows, and the winter air was wafting under the door, and I had some scented candles lit for some ambiance.
I had just had a disagreement with my parents about this girl I was seeing who didn’t love Jesus. In spite of all of my reasoning, I just could not get that argument out of my head. To distract myself, I turned on the TV. The first channel that popped up was a Christian broadcasting channel. The first words that came out of that pastor’s mouth were something along the lines of, “You know when you’re disobeying God, so drop that sin, repent, and He will restore you!”
I glared at the TV and shot back, “I am not breaking up with Rebekah!” Instantly, the thunder quaked, the TV shut off, and a breeze blew through my living room, snuffing out the candles. The feeling of conviction and holy fear was overwhelming.
I broke it off with Rebekah.
Maybe you’ve been where I was, or know someone in that situation.
Stop assuming God is in your relationship if you have these three red flags:

  1. He or she draws out your sexuality over your sanctification. It was extremely easy to “shelf” my Christianity, because Rebekah knew what a teenage boy was after, and I had never been kissed. The human sex drive is a powerful function that God created, for marriage. The world wants us to sell out for a moment of pleasure. If this relationship ever—whether because of infatuation, sexual desire, or mere distraction—causes you to forget and abandon your First Love, God is not glorified, and this relationship is not from Him.
  2. You find yourself batting away caution on a regular basis. I’ve had it both ways: good and bad, in terms of relationships. With this ungodly relationship, I would enjoy being with this girl, laugh all the way home, and frown as I drifted off to sleep. When I was with the girl who is now my wife, we would worship together in the car; I would cover her and champion purity in our relationship, and I would go to bed at night, feeling closer to my First Love because of Sarah. If you are swatting at foreboding, convicting thoughts, you are in danger of hardening your heart and suppressing the Holy Spirit’s leading.
  3. Family, friends, and spiritual leaders warn you of the dangers of the relationship. Whether by mere outside perspective, spiritual discernment, or recalling their own past experiences, the godly people in your life who voice some red flags about your relationship are valid voices. They aren’t infatuated with the person, so they aren’t under the influence of adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin (the chemicals released in your brain when you fall in love).

God renews our minds to want what He wants. And it is so good. Please, don’t sell yourself short. Save yourself for Jesus and watch as He shapes your desires into un-shakeable standards, and then provides the mate to meet those standards!

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Communication Marriage Physical Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy

4 Ways to Wear Love in Marriage

The word “love” is so misused today that it has lost it true meaning.
Even in marriages, sometimes couples use the word “love” in a casual manner. It is important to consider what love actually means and how we show love in marriage God’s way. The love that God desires in marriage is seen in Colossians 3:14, where it says “the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us together in perfect harmony.” We are to put love on as a daily garment in our marriage. But what does it mean to “put on love and to wear it on purpose?”
Reading the Message version of Ephesians 5:1-2 has taught me about how to love Christ’s way. Here is what it says: “Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.”
In marriage, I’ve learned a very important lesson about putting on love with my husband. When I limit love to just an emotion, my love for him becomes a love that is unsteady and changeable. In light of Ephesians 5:1-2, when I put on my love and wear it daily, my love for my husband takes on a lifelong pursuit of following Jesus’ example of extravagant, selfless, and intimate love.
To wear love well, here are 4 ways that I have learned to love my husband:

  1. Saying “I love you” daily. Don’t take for granted that your spouse knows that you love them. Regularly taking the time to tell your husband or wife these three words will show them how much you love and adore them. Hold hands and hug regularly. Give public praise and brag on them in front of others shows that you love and respect them.
  2. Choose to serve and make sacrifices for your spouse. Honor your spouse by going to see a movie or visiting a restaurant that they prefer. Serve them breakfast in bed or do a chore that they would normally do to express your love and appreciation for them.
  3. Write a love letter. A handwritten love letter expressing your love out of the blue can open up wells of intimacy and pursuit in your relationship.
  4. Listen well. Making eye contact, while being compassionate and empathetic, communicates that you love and care about your husband or wife’s well being.

These 4 ways are only a starting point. Think creatively for your marriage to find ways to wear your love daily. Wearing love daily, like how Jesus loves us, is a complete game changer for marriage. Try it…it works!
 

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Communication Marriage Physical Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy

How to Love and Bless Your Mate On Purpose

Couple looking into each others eyes while smiling

Everyone wants an awesome marriage that glorifies God and shows the depths of His love and grace. Marriage is a true gift and an amazing blessing from God. Yet, sometimes life gets busy where the gift of marriage is not always cherished by couples the way that God intended. Being married for 8 years to a wonderful husband, I have learned that keeping Jesus at the center of our marriage helps us to continue to love and bless each other on purpose as we grow together in love.
Couples should live in marriage to love and bless each other with their words and actions. The atmosphere of any Christian marriage should be based the demonstration of agape love. Agape love, when shown continually, brings life into relationships. On the other hand, couples that spend time saying or doing hurtful things to one another, create an atmosphere that cultivates the demise of their relationship.
Love and intimacy in a marriage helps to build long lasting friendship and intimacy. When couples love and live according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 on a consistent basis, life-long marital bliss will be their portion. Intimacy can be described as familiarity, closeness, understanding, confidence, caring, tenderness, affection, a close relationship, quiet atmosphere, or private utterance or action. Couples that love each other and seek to be a blessing to each other as genuine friends and enjoy intimate times, will experience the increase and overflow of God’s love in their marriage (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10; 1 Thessalonians 3:12).
There should be everyday occurrences where couples long to love and bless one another out loud. Loving and blessing on purpose will help couples maintain a powerful marriage that is a testament to God’s love for the world to see. Examples of how couples can love and bless each other on purpose would be:

  • Smiling and laughing together daily.
  • Kissing, hugging, and embracing each other regularly.
  • Showing kindness in interactions with each other.
  • Going to church and pray with one another regularly.
  • Having dates and time alone together each month.
  • Listening to one another and communicate with each other.
  • Always seeking to promote forgiveness and understanding in the marriage (Ephesians 4:32).
  • Never going to bed mad at each other.
  • Saying, “I love you” often.

Husbands and wives that love and bless each other on purpose operate in powerful love and exhibit Christ-like character, where loving each other deeply is above anything (1 Peter 4:8). Loving one another selflessly, showing affection, working together, and honoring one another will help defeat the enemy at any attempt to bring division in your marriage. Loving and blessing each other on purpose will strengthen your marriage daily, uniting each other as a powerful team for the Lord.