One of the hardest things for a husband to do is to lead. Quite frankly, whether we want to admit it or not, we often times have no clue how to do so. We are filled with outdated and impractical scenarios of how it should be done or, we go along swinging in the dark trying to find a method on how to do so. It is tough sometimes BUT it is a mandate that we’ve been given for the health of our marriage and families. God would not have required us to do it if it could not be done. Below are 5 simple ways to lead your wife. These tasks, if implemented, can be transformative for your marriage or future marriage.
- Ask YOUR wife how she needs and wants to be lead. Many times we have our own preconceived notions about what our wives need in terms of leadership. We must not make the foolhardy mistake of thinking that our individual wives are like someone else’s wife. Your wife needs a specific, tailor made type and style of leadership. If she does not know because she’s never been asked, it creates a great conversation and solidifies a strong brick in the foundation of your marriage.
- Lead by inclusion. Make sure that she’s a part of the decision making process for the direction of the family. Our wives voice(s) are equally as important. The decisions that we make affect the whole family. As a wife and mother, her words are valuable and her desires for the family need to be heard, considered, and acted upon. It is a great way to hear her heart and will help her to trust you when making decisions because she will know that you are aware of, and will take into account her point of view
- Pray with your wife. Showing Godly accountability through prayer and seeking God’s face helps to ensure that we are connected to the heart of God and getting our direction and guidance from him. Prayer is also another time that we can hear the concerns, needs, and thoughts of our wives. While praying WITH her, listen to what she is saying and take note of those things so that you can go to God in her stead during your private prayer time.
- Remain connected to Godly accountability. Scripture tells us our plans will succeed with many advisors (Provers 15:22). When we are connected to a system of accountability, it is not always comfortable; if it is comfortable, that system has failed us. This helps to ensure that we are making wise, Godly decisions with a sounding board that helps guide us as we lead the family. It is imperative that we remain connected to GODLY accountability and not your friend that starts every sentence with “let me tell you what I did…”
- Speak life into your wife. Encourage her. Salute her. Esteem her. Regard her. Celebrate her. She is the crown jewel of our treasure here on earth. Speaking life is more than just compliments. It is taking the time to see our wives’ efforts, greatness, spirit, and value AND create a context that harnesses all of those and breathes a breath of fresh air into them. Speaking life into our wives can help shape their existence (as them speaking into us can do the exact same).
These five simple tasks will have an effect on our wives and allow us to lead as God has called us to. They require transparent communication, attention to detail, thoughtfulness, and respect. We cannot expect our wives to be fully submitted and give those elements to us unless we are fully submitted to Christ by loving and regarding them as Christ does the church. Guys, it’s WAAAAY more than being a bread winner!!!