Month: November 2016

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Dating/Courting Home Single

3 Keys to Entering Your Next Relationship

Portrait of a young african woman sitting at outdoor cafe using cellphone

Key 1 – God’s Timing is Right
Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven-”
I am a firm believer in the times and seasons the Bible refers to. It is so important that you don’t move outside of God’s timing, and this applies to relationships as well. Moving at your own pace and not God’s pace or the direction of His will can cause damaging circumstances to develop.
For example, a potentially good relationship may not work out if it comes into existence prematurely. Yes, I said it! Moving outside of God’s timing can cause a blessing to turn into a curse.
Let’s say you feel fully prepared to be in a relationship but God knows you still hold a bit of unforgiveness in your heart towards your ex. More than likely, God isn’t going to open the door to a new relationship until that area of yourself has completely healed.
Why? Because you will certainly make it very hard for a new relationship to flourish if, by way of unforgiveness, your heart is still connected to your last relationship. You see, God knows and sees what we don’t know and see. It’s better to trust Him than to move outside of His plan and timing.
Key 2 – Don’t Force It
Proverbs 19:21 “Many plans are in a man’s mind, But it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand (be carried out).”
One thing I’ve learned throughout my life is to never force anything. Hence the popular saying “If the shoe fits, wear it,” but I say, “If the shoes doesn’t fit, DON’T wear it.” I like to apply this principle to relationships as well; forcing something “to be” that has “this is not the one for you” written all over it is only going to damage you as a person.
There’s the possibility of feeling rejected or becoming brokenhearted. Certain insecurities can form if the person you’re forcing a relationship with is interested in someone else. It is even possible that you may feel unimportant or as though you’re not a priority.
I know this person may have all the qualities listed on your list, but if God says “no,” it’s a no. If the relationship has more exhausting days than joyful days, you’re probably staying in something that is simply not for you.
If you’re one who is forcing a relationship to work when you know deep down in your heart that it’s time to move on and let go, pray and ask God for clarity.
Key 3 – Prepare Yourself
Proverbs 24:27 “Prepare your work outside and get it ready for yourself in the field; afterward build your house and establish a home.”
A very wise person prepares themselves for future seasons of life. Marriage is serious, and dating/courting is the first phase in determining whom you will marry. Therefore, it’s important that you prepare not only for marriage, but for your dating/courting season as well.
Preparation should include understanding what boundaries are, how to overcome temptation (which will come), how to identity red flags, what is permissible in a relationship and what simply is not. All these things plus more are important to know about before you let yourself enter a relationship.
Most people prepare only for marriage and forget the important phase of dating/courting that comes before it.
Always remember these three pointers – Timing, Don’t Force it, and Prepare!
Raven

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Home Single

5 Tips to Get Through the Holidays Being Single

Pretty young african woman video chatting on her mobile phone as she relaxes in front of a decorated tree and gifts in a red and white themed living room ready for Christmas.

The holidays are one of the best times of the year. It’s a great time to be surrounded by the love of those who matter most. However, the holidays approaching can also be a daunting time for singles, reminding you of your lack of a significant other. However, being single does not have to feel lonely. Here are some tips and advice on how to get through the holidays.
1.) Volunteering- The holidays are all about giving, so what better way to spend the holidays than giving back? It helps you get out of your own head when you can stop and think about the needs of others. Many places can use the help of people during this season. For example, volunteering at a homeless shelter, donating toys, gift wrapping at the mall, helping out at the children’s hospital, these are all great ways to give back, leaving you with a rewarding feeling.
2.) Spending time with family–  Take the time to go and spend time with that relative you may have not seen in a while. They may be thrilled to have you in company, and  create more memories.
3.) Single group outings– Gather all of your single friends and make it a singles outing.  Whether it be a short trip, a day of shopping, taking a painting class or a holiday dinner, I’m sure your single friends will appreciate this fun thought, and you could be helping them from being a single slug.
4.) Decorating– Decking your place out in holiday gear is a great way to put yourself in the holiday spirit, it’s also a great way to get your creativity out; making it fun and festive.
5.) Throwing a holiday party– Gathering friends and family for a holiday party is a good way to get everyone together. There are a myriad of holiday party themes, from throwing a  friends-giving gathering, to an ugly sweater Christmas party, to a cookie baking party,  or having a Christmas movie night,  any idea should do. And if you have your guests bring a plus one… who knows, you may meet a special someone in the midst of it all!
Hope this helps. Happy Holidays!

Categories
Communication Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

Three Ways the Modern Husband is Coming Undone

670992

The American Joke

In 2016 alone, I’ve seen three extremely strong marriages of people we are close to, crumble to nothingness –two of which are ending in bitter, brutal divorce. Is it her or is it him? Can we all agree that the way that Americans and probably Westerners do life is just plain insane? We run at a very reckless 10,000,000 miles an hour, exhausted and pushed to our max with the laughable attempt at balancing living for Jesus, work, family, friendships, dreams, meanwhile we wonder why something fails.
This pace in which we live is akin to juggling five 100 pound backpacks, riding a unicycle on a trapeze at 75 miles an hour, over an 8,000 foot precipice.
And we toss stones when someone falls? Explain that one to me, please.
And allow me to get off topic for a minute: we were never meant to add Jesus to the “juggling act.” He isn’t an addendum to our lives. He is Life; and the moment we seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness, we begin to realize that all things are falling into place!
Wives, men today aren’t stupid. Husbands, women today aren’t demented. We are busy. We are over-worked, worried, overly overwhelmed. We’re just tired (among other things).

Men’s Problems Today

But something happens, sometimes, in the fray: we get frayed. In that place of constant battering, some men react poorly. I’m not saying that these apply to every man, but a great many, certainly.
Here are three ways that I see modern husbands coming undone:

  1. Men are distracted. Some men bury themselves in video games; others dive into hunting or fishing. Hobbies are excellent and even crucial to be able to decompress from life’s stresses. But the problems arise when men stop seeing their wives; wives become invisible, because men are too involved in escapism.
  2. Men are passive. Passivity is a problem in American men. Since when is it OK to watch your family fall apart, while you shake your head in disbelief, but don’t rise up and take threats to your family by the horns? Men don’t lead; they stay at home from church and let their wives plead with them to give church one more try. I understand discouragement. I understand dismay, but many men would rise above their problems if they would only stand and lead.
  3. Men have their priorities backwards. Men today are willing to roar like lions in the football stands, but run like sheep in the Church. Husbands can manage their jobs with precision and skill, but managing their home life doesn’t take precedence. Men, it’s time to have a vision for your family as big as, or bigger than your vision for your future.

These don’t represent every man, but I would say that most men struggle with one or more of them. Husbands, seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness. Women, don’t be discouraged by your husbands, but continue to affirm his place of sonship in the Kingdom.
Husbands, we are seeing a cultural decline in the West. What would happen if more men caught the vision of God for their families, and loved their wives and kids—with the knowledge that doing family life well can literally shape a culture?
 
 
 
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Single

7 Actions to Take When Your Heart is Hurting

beautiful woman at home with heart for valentine's day

Nearly a decade ago, my heart took a beating when the guy I was in a relationship with told me his feelings had changed and that he was dating someone else. I was sure I had done everything I thought I was supposed to do to avoid this kind of result- I was pursuing God above all else, I’d been prayerful, I’d waited for confirmations before moving forward, I made it clear it needed to be a God-centered relationship and I’d involved trustworthy friends and family in the process. There was no doubt in my mind that the Lord’s approval was all over this …until this happened!
I vividly remember the day I had this conversation and the deep hurt I experienced afterward. I desperately just wanted to get away from the pain, to forget about him, to forget about the whole thing in general, to be free from the memories we had and the resounding promises he’d made and then broke.
In the days to come, I would put a worship song on repeat: I Have Found by Kim Walker-Smith. The chorus goes like this: ‘You are all I want, You are all I need, everything my heart could hope for. We are longing for the glory of the Lord, because we know there’s so much more.” I knew I didn’t believe those words then, but I genuinely wanted to and found an incredible peace in listening to them.
Fast forward to now… I recently was at a worship service and we sang that exact same song. Tears rolled down my face as I realized – I BELIEVE WHAT I’M SINGING! I can say that I am now at a place where I truly believe that the goodness of God surpasses anything this life has to offer. I don’t have all the answers, but I know that I wouldn’t have gotten to that point without doing some specific things:
 1.  Focused on what I was grateful for
-After this happened, I got so sick of complaining and asking the Lord for things, that I decided to commit a month to only journaling about what I was thankful for. It completely transformed my heart! Because my focus was on what was good in my life, instead of what was negative, suddenly I couldn’t help but feel joy about what was happening.
 2. Drew near to God instead of pulling away
-I distinctly remember the moment I was faced with deciding if I would allow God to be a part of what I was experiencing or push him away because He ‘could have done something about it,’ or because He ‘broke my trust.’ I put those in quotations because they are thoughts I’ve had, and I’ve heard other people vocalize…but aren’t necessarily true. It’s interesting how we want to give up the gift of free will only when we go through a hard time. I chose the first option, and am forever thankful I did. Choosing to draw close to the Father set me on a life-giving path that has led to so many adventures I couldn’t have dreamed of.
3.  Worshipped
-Worship has a similar effect to being grateful…it changes your heart in the midst of circumstances. Oftentimes we can’t control our circumstances, but if our heart is right we can experience contentedness even if our world feels like it’s falling apart.

  • Became a part of a community that built me up
    -Find friends and family that will help you get healed up. If your current community spends more time caring about what’s going wrong, it’s going to be difficult to view the Father as the perfect One He is. Pay attention to how your community is influencing you, and look for one that gives you life.
  • Ask
    -Ask the Lord to teach you what it means for Him to be “enough.” He is a relational God and loves to interact with us. If He says He is the way to true life, then He IS and would love to show you how!
  • Discovered what it means to be a child of God, instead of a slave
    -This was pivotal for me in my process of desiring God above all else. When you know you’re loved and a son/daughter of the King of kings, it makes it easier to love yourself and in turn, others…ESPECIALLY the Lord.
  • Declared God’s promises over my life
    -Find scripture that is relevant to your situation or to what you want to see happen. Speaking it out loud has great power! God spoke and the entire universe was created… He clearly has a value for speaking what you want to see even when it’s not there!

God created us to experience fullness in Him. And fullness in Him means that we get to experience what life is truly meant to be! In my experience, finding out what it means to say ‘He is enough’ is completely worth fighting for.

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

3 Benefits of Seriously Dating in College

Young couple in love in town sitting on stairs, holding hands

Although it seems counter-cultural to discuss the possibility of marriage during your college years, I believe the lack of dating intentionally during this time frame is part of the reason people are getting married later in life. As individuals graduate from college and start to look for that special someone to settle down with, they are encountering challenges in meeting new people to even consider dating!
Coming from a Christian university it seemed to be ALL that was talked about, to the point that you felt shamed if you did come to school seeking a spouse. How could you come to school with the classic “ring by spring” mentality?!
Well, today I come to challenge the negative perspective on seeking a spouse in your college years. Here are some benefits to seriously dating in college.
 
1.  There are the most people your age and in similar walks of life, all concentrated in one location.
 
Talking with my friends post college, it almost seems IMPOSSIBLE to meet new friends – let alone potential dating candidates – anywhere other than a bar or the latest dating app. Understand that college is a time in your life where you have immediate access and ease of ability to meet new people.

  • Join a club.
  • Try intramural sports.
  • Hang out in the quad.
  • Talk to people in your class.

Chances are you are bound to click with at least one person, and you never know the friendships you may form, or the people you may meet through that one connection.
 
 2. It is a time of self-discovery and self-actualization.
 
For many individuals, college is their first time on their own. It’s the first time they have really been placed in an environment where they are forced to confront what is important to them: what they value, where they want to go in life, and who they want to be. Okay, maybe that’s a little deep for some of our college freshmen [and underclassmen] out there, but you get the point. Often during this time you start to realize values that are important to you that would be important for a significant other to share.
 
3. There is a higher probability of finding someone who shares your morals and values.
 
This point may resonate more to those that attend a Christian or faith-based university. But what I am getting at is the following: if your faith is important to you, and you want it to be the basis of your relationship, going to a Christian university will most likely improve the probability of finding a significant other that feels the same way and there is no shame in that. If you want to learn how to play basketball you don’t show up at a soccer field. Decide what is important to you and seek it out. Don’t settle on your top values on fear of not finding someone else.
Of course, college is not all about finding a spouse, but it was an added bonus I was able to take along with my bachelor’s degree and am very thankful for that. Some people may not be mature enough to even pursue the idea of marriage at this time, and that is okay too. Be honest with yourself about where you are in life and if you are truly happy. Remember – finding a spouse is not going to complete you, or make you happier. You have to be content and love who you are before you can love someone else.

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Home Single

Struggling with Celibacy? 3 Scriptures to Help You Fight

It’s easy when you have never opened yourself up to sex but for those of us that have already lost our virginity – then decided that it wasn’t such a good idea, so we pledge to be celibate until marriage- we can often struggle with it.
Everybody is having sex. Look at them, they are having sex and HAPPY. Meanwhile you’re one second away from giving it all up and joining them.
DON’T!
Here’s 3 bible scriptures I read when I start struggling with my promise to God
1. I  Corinthians 6:19 (AMP)
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have [received as a gift] from God, and that you are not your own [property]?
Listen, when I read this scripture, it reminds me that I am not my own. This body does not belong to me. So how dare I just do with it as I will? I want to make sure this temple is somewhere the Holy Spirit can dwell, a great sacred place. Besides, how can my sin and the Holy Spirit inhabit the same space?
2. Romans 12:2 (AMP)
And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].
Most of the time when I’m struggling with celibacy, I’m allowing the world to influence my way of living. So what if everybody’s doing it? If everybody is going to hell does that mean I have to go? Certainly not! One thing I learned, is that everything that glitters is not gold. So yes, people may be having sex and yes they may be happy, but their souls are being crushed. Soul ties are being formed and soul ties formed outside of marriage are nothing but bondage. So I constantly pray that the Lord renews my mind and my way of thinking and I ask that He helps me to remember that I am the daughter of a King and I am in line for my inheritance and I certainly will not receive it if I’m compromising.
Perhaps what I read in an article on celibacy will encourage you: “The voices of the world may loudly cheer for us to give our bodies away but the conviction of the Spirit must be louder if we’re to stay committed to serving God.”
Allow God to renew your mind, He will give you a different perspective on being celibate. It won’t be this oh woe is me, I’m lonely, instead you’ll be more focused on what true intimacy is and how intimacy starts with the Father. True intimacy isn’t physical, it’s seeing one’s heart.
3. I Corinthians 10:13 (AMP)
No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word—He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy].
The Lord will not allow you to be tempted beyond your ability. That means, when you began struggling with celibacy, you can overcome it. You’re not going to be tempted and stumble. So often I remind myself, this is a small thing to a giant (in the words of rapper T.I). It’s light work, an easy feat. Yes it will test your strength, know it won’t feel good, yes it will test your courage, but sis, bro… YOU WIN! Isn’t that amazing to know? You can look that temptation and that struggle square in the face and know, without a shadow of a doubt,  the victory is yours.
During these times, I talk to myself and remind myself that I’m a born winner. Sometimes I even find myself throwing Muhammad Ali jabs. That’s right, I tell the enemy “you ‘gon get this work today.” Lol, You’ve got to. Don’t let the struggle beat you down, beat it down.
Your fighting tools are the scriptures.
Lastly, I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. There are many of us going through this very thing. It’s okay to talk to about it, you don’t have to be silent. I encourage you in these moments to find solace in the Lord and not sex.
If you’re struggling and you just need someone to pray with you and for you, email me at thepowerofgodlywomen@gmail.com- I’ll be happy to send you prayers, add you to my prayer-book and even pray with you.

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Home Marriage Parenting Spiritual Intimacy

3 Tips to Maintain Your Relationship With God While Married

Family In Kitchen With Mother Making On Line Purchase

3 years into marriage, 1 Corinthians 7:34 makes perfect sense:

“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband.”

Wait one minute, does that essentially say, “marriage can affect our relationship with God?” Yup and when I recognized the reality of this verse in my marriage, especially after my daughter arrived, it grieved me some. Between nursing, diaper changes, heading back and forth to work, helping my husband in ministry and trying to take care of home, there was less and less time for quality time with God. My responsibilities increase,  life is no longer just about me.
So I get… it can become difficult to manage it all being married with kids, especially as women our job can be round the clock.  It’s easy to disconnect from God simply because we are not able to give ourselves as much to the necessary things to keep a strong relationship with Him, like prayer, fasting, reading and studying the word. When I was single I was surely devoted to God, there were no distraction and it was much easier to find quality quiet time with Him.
Now, I have to be more intentional about making time for God and I, although, the above scripture is accurate in my life,  realize God is my first love and I’m also married to Him. In addition, in order to successfully accomplish all of my other goals and responsibilities in life, I need Him!
Below are 3 tips to maintain your relationship with God while married:

  1. Creative Time:

The days of coming home from work and spending the whole evening with God is over. Now, I have to think about picking the baby up from daycare, figure out dinner, and prepare our family for evening service 2 days per week. However, I found several creative places to talk and spend time with the Lord.

    • Commuting: The car is the perfect place to talk with God or even worship. Turn off the radio for quiet time with Him or play your favorite worship songs. I also find time with Him on the train ride to and from  work. I’ll read and even pray softly.
    • Lunch Breaks: If you work full-time like me, you can always fast & pray on your lunch break and/or have bible study. I do this often and in the past I’ve even lead bible study with co-workers.
    • Chores: You don’t have to always be on your knees to pray. I’ve had some of the greatest encounters with God in the most unique places, once while washing dishes. I pray while in the shower, while cleaning and doing other chores. It’s okay to get creative.

2. Requested Alone- Time:
When I start to feeling like I need more than creative time with Lord. I’ll communicate with my husband and suggest him and my daughter have another daddy/daughter date. This way I can have the house to myself to spend quality alone time with God. Consider coordinating time with your spouse to do the same.
3. Family Time:
Although you may not have as much quality alone time with God, another way to spend time with Him is as a family. Something my husband and I do is pray and read one chapter together nightly. My 13 month old daughter is usually right there with us. It’s amazing to see her learn from us and imitate our prayer and worship by lifting her hands as if she’s worshiping too.
 

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Communication Marriage Physical Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy

2 Ways to Establish Healthy Boundaries to Protect Your Marriage

Cheerful couple behind table at home

Establishing healthy boundaries is essential to protect your marriage against temptation from the enemy. Proverbs 22:3 shares that “the prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.” Healthy boundaries are like guardrails and safeguards that promote the health, sacredness, and integrity of your relationship. The enemy will use infidelity to steal, kill, and destroy your marriage (John 10:10). It is important that couples use wisdom, recognizing temptation and red flags before they start to be intentional about cultivating a strong marriage that withstands the enemy’s tactics.
Here are two ways to establish healthy boundaries:
1.  Online boundaries: Being mindful of time spent on the Internet and social media is a safety net to guard against infidelity. Giving more attention to online activities versus your relationship is a recipe for disaster. Also, freely sharing your passwords is a safeguard that promotes integrity and transparency to avoid the tricks of the enemy. After all, love and respect for your spouse means being honest and devoting more time to nurturing your spouse and your relationship. Establishing a set time of turning off phones and computers shows your spouse that they are cherished, important, and worth your attention.
Your friendship with your spouse is important to cultivate a healthy marriage as well. The enemy enjoys using your past to derail your present and future. Something else to consider is rekindling past relationships on the Internet and social media. Honoring God and your spouse at all costs means not reliving your past to prevent present damage to your marriage’s future.
2. Personal boundaries: Any interactions with the opposite sex can be an avenue that the enemy uses to deliberately destroy your marriage. This includes interactions and meetings in person, via email, social media, and phone, etc. Sometimes spouses can entertain the lie of the enemy that “it is okay if your spouse doesn’t know or one meeting won’t hurt anything.” This creates distrust and doorways that the enemy can use to sabotage your union. As a safeguard, intentionally involving your spouse during interactions and meetings can deter the enemy’s plans. Remember, transparency is the key!
Establishing online and personal boundaries will protect your marriage at all costs, building a strong and healthy relationship. What practical boundaries would you consider adding to your list?

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Physical Intimacy Single Spiritual Intimacy

Three Signs You’re Ignoring That Your Relationship is Wrong

Years ago, when I was younger (too young), I was in a relationship with a girl of a different faith. Despite our different beliefs, we got along wonderfully. We made one another laugh, we encouraged each other when we were down, and we left God completely out of the relationship.
On a side note, “missionary dating” is not a thing. It is a distraction and an excuse for you to suppress the Holy Spirit. You hope that, by some miracle, your “light” for Jesus will draw them home, as you “minister” to him or her by leading them on. Let’s stop that.
Now, back to my story. One evening, I was home alone. The wind was howling, the freezing rain was pelting the windows, and the winter air was wafting under the door, and I had some scented candles lit for some ambiance.
I had just had a disagreement with my parents about this girl I was seeing who didn’t love Jesus. In spite of all of my reasoning, I just could not get that argument out of my head. To distract myself, I turned on the TV. The first channel that popped up was a Christian broadcasting channel. The first words that came out of that pastor’s mouth were something along the lines of, “You know when you’re disobeying God, so drop that sin, repent, and He will restore you!”
I glared at the TV and shot back, “I am not breaking up with Rebekah!” Instantly, the thunder quaked, the TV shut off, and a breeze blew through my living room, snuffing out the candles. The feeling of conviction and holy fear was overwhelming.
I broke it off with Rebekah.
Maybe you’ve been where I was, or know someone in that situation.
Stop assuming God is in your relationship if you have these three red flags:

  1. He or she draws out your sexuality over your sanctification. It was extremely easy to “shelf” my Christianity, because Rebekah knew what a teenage boy was after, and I had never been kissed. The human sex drive is a powerful function that God created, for marriage. The world wants us to sell out for a moment of pleasure. If this relationship ever—whether because of infatuation, sexual desire, or mere distraction—causes you to forget and abandon your First Love, God is not glorified, and this relationship is not from Him.
  2. You find yourself batting away caution on a regular basis. I’ve had it both ways: good and bad, in terms of relationships. With this ungodly relationship, I would enjoy being with this girl, laugh all the way home, and frown as I drifted off to sleep. When I was with the girl who is now my wife, we would worship together in the car; I would cover her and champion purity in our relationship, and I would go to bed at night, feeling closer to my First Love because of Sarah. If you are swatting at foreboding, convicting thoughts, you are in danger of hardening your heart and suppressing the Holy Spirit’s leading.
  3. Family, friends, and spiritual leaders warn you of the dangers of the relationship. Whether by mere outside perspective, spiritual discernment, or recalling their own past experiences, the godly people in your life who voice some red flags about your relationship are valid voices. They aren’t infatuated with the person, so they aren’t under the influence of adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin (the chemicals released in your brain when you fall in love).

God renews our minds to want what He wants. And it is so good. Please, don’t sell yourself short. Save yourself for Jesus and watch as He shapes your desires into un-shakeable standards, and then provides the mate to meet those standards!

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Home Single

WHAT DOES TRUSTING GOD WITH YOUR SINGLENESS REALLY LOOK LIKE?

In your single season you will often hear people tell you to “Trust God.” It sounds great and deep down inside you know that you should trust God.

How do you keep trusting God  when every day you arise and you find yourself still single. You also, find that the main ones that are telling you to trust God are dating or happily married.

You keep thinking I’m a Christian, I serve God and even His people. I pray and Lord knows I slay!  Yet, I still find myself single. I desire to date a God- fearing man and to be married one day.

Let’s be honest! For those of us that had sex before marriage and then were transformed to do things God’s way the struggle is real! Sometimes you find your single season being extremely hard. It’s not only a spiritual battle but a physical battle as well. Which leads me to points I want to make….

He’s in Control

I’ve learned that your single season teaches “self-control.” There are things in our lives that we can control but there are some things that we can’t control. I used to be the woman that pursued men for a relationship. Even in the relationship, I did all the pursuing and they did absolutely nothing.

During my single season I learned an important lesson… That it’s not my role to pursue, that’s the man’s role. It’s my role to simply respond. I had to learn self-control and I had to learn how to allow God to be in control of my life.

Trusting God isn’t just about the single season that you’re in, it’s more about trusting God with your entire life.

What are some areas in your life that you struggle with self-control? It’s not always sex. It can be anger, lying, cheating, gossiping, etc.

Trust the Plan

I remember wondering if God even had marriage in store for my life. Interestingly enough, God never spoke and told me that one day I would be married. Each day I had to walk by faith and not by sight.

If God reveals every plan to us, then there would be no need for faith. Even if God doesn’t reveal the plan, you still have to trust the plan. God knows exactly what we need and when we shall receive it. Don’t doubt what God can do for you. To doubt God, means that you don’t trust Him completely. Trust in His word and know that He gives good gifts to His children.

Are you in a spiritual place of completely trusting God?

Yes, you may get tired of hearing people to tell you to trust God. You must desire that in your heart more than you desire a mate. Trust that your single season is a preparation time. He’s preparing you, as He is preparing him. Trust that in this season that God hasn’t denied you a mate, it’s just delayed until due season.  Keep trusting God and know that the best is yet to come!