Tag: single

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Physical Intimacy Single Spiritual Intimacy

You Need More Jesus, Not More Sex.

Written by: Richelle Henry
I remember staring at the shadow of his figure moving from the bed and out of the bedroom door.  All I could do was lay there and wonder, “how did I get I here?”  How in the world did my good ol’ Christian self, end up in this man’s bed?  I should have gone home! I should have told him no! I should have left when he told me to! But…I stayed. I stayed out of brokenness. I stayed out of loneliness. I stayed out of desperation. I just wanted to be held. I wanted to feel important. I wanted to feel wanted.
I can remember this day and many others like it, like they all occurred yesterday. The feelings of pseudo-comfort, shame, disgust, disappointment, and guilt are what I recall the most. It seems that the soul screams the loudest in those, “You KNEW better” scenarios. I mean, I’ve heard of boundaries. I’ve been saved all of my life. I remember the strict “courtship” rules of no phone calls after 9pm and even going on group dates. But, that advice didn’t work for me. I still made the decision to act upon a desire that left me feeling unredeemable and ultimately separated from God.
You’re probably asking yourself as I did in the moments stated above–Where do I go from here? Do I mourn and grieve over the fact that I knew better and still chose to disobey? I knew the scripture that said I should flee from sexual immorality (See 1 Corinthians 6:18)—but my wounded heart had me making strides towards it instead. Do I run back and keep engaging in the act because, “hey, I already fell? I already have to repent.” Or do I get out of this bed, go before the Lord and be as totally transparent as possible in total confidence that He will hear me and answer?
I suggest that you choose the latter of all these options.
I know that you’re probably feeling really disappointed in yourself. The last time was supposed to be the last time—right? I hear you and can feel the shame that you’re probably carrying. But let me encourage you with this—the Father loves you and longs to restore you. When you think of the word restoration, what comes to mind? Repairing? Making whole? Well, the word “restore” means to bring something back to its original condition due to its current condition being either disfigured, used, or altered. Don’t you know that the Lord can bring you back to the version He intended on you becoming—before you fell. But you must be open and completely transparent with Him throughout the process. You’re probably asking, “what is there to be honest about? He’s God. He should know!” Yes, you’re correct. However—the transparency isn’t for God—it’s for you. It’s for you to become aware of the roots, reasons, and decisions along the way that may have caused you to fall. Transparency heightens your awareness so that you can better assess your heart and the manner in which it responds to crisis, traumas, setbacks, and even temptations.
Let’s start here. Why did you fall? What caused you to make the decision to engage in another one-night stand, “friend with benefits,” or engage in another “we’ll repent about this later..” moment?  Your reasons are bigger than just wanting to feel good. While that may be some of the reason, remember that even pleasure has a motive. I repeat—pleasure ALWAYS has a motive.  Find out what may have triggered you. What were you thinking of when you made the decision? Was it a bad day? A moment where thoughts of low self-esteem were clouding your mind? Were you wanting to feel valued or appreciated? Struggling with issues of rejection? Feeling unwanted? Loneliness? Regardless of what your reason was, remember that in these moments, it was your soul crying out for Christ, not just your body longing to be touched.
You see, when we talk about sexual sin—it’s so much bigger than a moment—it’s a decision. It’s a decision that places sexual pleasure and the like on a pedestal of “better,” over Christ’s ability to truly fulfill. Christ and Christ alone satisfies (See Psalm 62:1). He’s the only one that can come and drown loneliness, rejection, abandonment, insecurity, low self-esteem, hurt, or sadness with the currents of His love. When we make the decision to tread in the waters of sexual sin—we run the risk of drowning in that which we are meant to rise above—the snares and traps of sin. But with Christ and in Christ, you are well-equipped to deal with sexual sin—because He’s already overcome it (See 1 Corinthians 15:56-57)
Choose today to hit ignore, cancel that standing appointment on Friday night, and make a new decision. Make the decision to be completely open before the Lord and ask Him to fill you. Go to Him in confidence that He will cleanse you (See Psalm 51:2), empower you to resist temptation (See 1 Corinthians 10:13), and will ultimately fill and satisfy the voids within you (See Psalm 107:9).
“Come back to me, you wayward people. I want to cure your waywardness. Say, ‘Here we are. We come to you because you are the LORD our God.”- Jeremiah 3:22
His embrace and love alone can fill those longings—not another. Run to Him, instead.
 
LISTEN! Don’t forget to Join me and thousands of others on Married & Young’s FREE 4-day “Break The Cycle” challenge starting on Monday, February 5. We are breaking the patterns OFF our lives NOW, so we don’t repeat them later. Click HERE to sign up!

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Dating/Courting Single

Are You In Need of Healing? Perhaps You Should Stop Dating

Written by: Briana Whiteside
 
People may have told you for quite some time that you need to leave that relationship. The signs have been there for a while but it’s easier to stay. You don’t want to give up. You know the person. You’ve developed a system with them. And, if you’re honest, you may have started to design your life around the relationship.
I know how it feels to have the nagging desire to want to make a relationship work. I know what it’s like to truly believe that your relationship could be better if somehow you all could just get on the same page at the same time. I also know what it’s like to lose that relationship, that love, that dysfunction. I’ve felt the pain of separation, but I’ve also felt the satisfaction of being on the other end of the pain. I know where you are!
Let me tell you a quick story:
On May 6, 2016, I was standing in the restroom of my part-time job when I told my ex boyfriend that we couldn’t be friends. Though we had separated a year prior, we both wanted to hold on to a piece of each other at any cost. It neither mattered that we weren’t happy, nor that we were prolonging the healing process. All that mattered was that we allowed each other not to feel the pain of being separated.
We both knew that it was something that we needed to do but were too afraid to do it. We grew complacent in our dysfunction, in our love, in our hopes for each other. Yes, we loved each other but the
imperfection of our love caused us to hurt far more than we ever thought. In retrospect, we had stopped living because we were just trying to survive one another.
We were giving up seven years of love, of memories, of pain, of happiness, of secrets. Who would fill these voids that we both rested in? Who would love us? Who would dare date a broken man and a broken woman who didn’t know the importance of wholeness? We convened on many things, on many levels, on many mindsets, but we both knew that our relationship with God was at risk and if we didn’t surrender now, we might not ever do it.
In our conversation, I told the person whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life with that we couldn’t be friends. I told him that I wanted something more and that we deserved better. As my voice trembled to say, “I choose me” I wondered if I was making a mistake.
Would I be allowing another to reap the benefits of being with someone with whom I had grown familiar? How would this look since no one had ever modeled it for me? I didn’t know the answer then, but I know that we both knew that this was it. As we got off the phone, I pulled myself together enough to work my shift but still questioned “How?”
I didn’t date for a year after that. Whew! Yes, a year of not entertaining men, not reaching back to the past, but dealing with me and all my drama. I must be honest, I wasn’t prepared at all for the journey. In fact, I didn’t think I needed as much work, processing, and love as I received. I didn’t know how deep my wounds went– many long before my boyfriend and I dated. I didn’t know that I created victims because of my brokenness, my inability to forgive, and to heal.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t see the inventory of bodies laying in the cemetery of my heart. I didn’t know that it was I who had given up and lost respect for myself long before my breakup. For 365 days I was in the fire. Every impurity surfaced, every heartache bared its ugly pain, memories that I buried rose, and tears that I refused to cry flooded the canvas of my face. I was broken in so many areas and didn’t realize that I was living on life support. Ultimately, I was surviving only because I was hooked up to a respirator breathing short breaths. I was dying and didn’t realize it until I started living—after healing.
People told me that I was crazy to go cold turkey like that. Some attempted to discourage me by telling me that I needed someone (a man) to help me through the process. But, I knew what I needed: I needed to face the truth about myself and all of my dysfunction for the first time. Truth be told, the pressure of confronting yourself for the first time, your systems, thought processes, or truth is daunting and there were times that I thought I wouldn’t survive. But I did and you will too! The version of yourself on the other side of your pain will blow your mind, and one day you will laugh without fear of the future
(Proverbs 31:25).

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Dating/Courting Single

If God Is Faithful Then Why Am I Waiting?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Written By: Richelle Henry
I used to pray and be mad at God.  I was so mad at the fact that He wouldn’t listen to me concerning my future spouse anymore. I was so mad that, try as I might, He still wouldn’t give me what I wanted. I mean, I’ve been faithful. I cut off all those “randoms,” and I even stopped praying about it and I’m still here. Single.
 
How often have you felt the above? How often have you sat down and realized that the Lord was taking way too long? I mean, why would He promise you something and then make you wait? You did EVERYTHING He told you to do and still you find yourself upset, impatient, and feeling totally forgotten.  Well, I hear you!  I confess, I’ve shaken my fists at God on numerous occasions because I, like you, became tired of waiting.
 
I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve offered the Lord a few conditional prayers. You know, the “If you do this, then I will do this” kind of prayers. I’ve treated the Lord as though we’re simply business partners instead of realizing that we are in a loving relationship as Father and Child.
 
However, waiting on God, means waiting on the One who makes good on every single promise that He’s ever made. I know that you read that and probably sucked your teeth, because the statement sounds like a clichéd and repeated one. However, He fulfills His word. When I think of all the promises that He’s made concerning my life, the ones that He’s fulfilled and the ones that I’m currently awaiting fulfillment for, I realize that He is worthy of trust, because His character is trustworthy.
 
Often times, we take unfulfilled promises and use them to make tick marks on our “faithfulness of God” survey. You know, the imaginary scoreboard that we keep for God, as a method of measuring His faithfulness and ability.  We take visibility and manifestations of promises spoken as notches of glory that we ascribe only when evidence is found. We have become wearied waiters because we’ve been too busy contending with a truth that will never change and that truth is God and His faithfulness.
 
Honestly, we aren’t truly fighting God, because He has no worthy opponent—particularly not His creation. Again, I have wrestled with the idea that God is not faithful and concluded on different occasions that waiting is designed torment. But remember that even the best lie from the enemy cannot overstep the faithfulness and truthfulness of the Lord.
 
God is so sure when He speaks that He even swears by Himself when it comes to fulfillment (Genesis 22:16). Faithfulness isn’t just what He does, but it is every fiber of who He is (Hebrews 10:23).  May we hold fast in the weariness. May we rehearse His character despite our discomfort. May we remember the One who comes through. Every. Single. Time.
 

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Dating/Courting Single

Don't Lose You While Dating Them!

Group of friends celebrating on the beach in LA. Concept about friendship, good mood and people

Written By: Tatianah Green
Dating can be exciting, nerve wrecking, and even grounds for a good (or bad) story to share with friends later. But, how many of us consider how we date? Dating in this generation has a bad rep, but when you consider how you personally want to date and your reasons behind it, you can secure the types of dates and people you want to date without compromising what you truly want in life and love.
 
Consider these thoughts as you go into your dating season:
 
Check your motives
 
What is your intention and motives for dating this person? I know this may seem a little early to some in the dating process, but in reality, you should have an idea of why you are dating and more specifically, interested in dating this person you are seeing. Are you dating because you’re lonely? Do you want to date because of outside pressures to get out more? Do you want to date with purpose to connect with a suitable mate?
 
In 2018, we can’t just wing it out here guys. We should move with pure motives and heart so we don’t lead anyone on for the sake of just wanting to go on dates. Remember that people are not experiments, but humans who desire and deserve the same things that you’re praying for.
 
Dating is not a competition or job interview
 
Despite what we see on TV, dating is not a competition. You’re one of a kind and so is your date.  When you’re competing in dating, you lose focus on the individual you’re getting to know and focus more on the win, whatever that looks like to you. A competitive mindset robs you of the opportunity to truly get to know people for who they are instead of seeing them as potential threats to your goal.
 
Competing also takes away from you, constantly having to “prove” your desirability or qualities to be someone worth dating. If you have to do all of this for someone’s attention, straining yourself to be seen or gain approval from this person, then they may not be for you.
 
Like a job we really want, we may exaggerate some skills and even create new credentials to fit the requirements for that job. This definitely applies in dating, where it’s so easy to stretch the truth because you’re still in the early stages of learning about each other. Be sure to ask real questions and answer questions honestly.
You don’t want to lie that you’re into something to please your date.
Remember that you’re on this date too and need to vet them to see if they are someone you’d truly want to get to know, not because they’re the most eligible bachelor or bachelorette.
 
Be you all ways, always
 
Dating usually goes well in the beginning because the daters get along, have good conversation, and are respectful to one another, aka polite. Are you sure you were on a date with the person as who they are and not their representative? You can ask yourself the same question. Of course, early on in dating you tend to bring it in the looks, outfit, smell goods, talking topics, etc. But does your date get to see you authentically?
 
You’ve come a long way to develop your sense of self, personality, humor, intellect, interest, and passions. So why dumb down for anyone who doesn’t agree with those aspects of you in order to feel desired or wanted? Is the fear of not getting a date worth losing yourself in the process?
 
It helps to be yourself and not be so anxious to meet your date’s needs, because you’re not made to please man, but to please God.
 
When you walk in your true identity in Christ, you won’t lack confidence to be who you are on your dates instead of putting up a facade. Being yourself is a beautiful risk, because being true to who you are and who you serve will show in your walk and talk. It will draw the right people or deter the wrong people.
 
Don’t dim your light for a first date to get a second date, or at any time for that matter. No matter where you are in your single and dating season, it is rewarding to be true to yourself, unapologetically.

Categories
Dating/Courting

Could YOU Be The Reason Why You Are Still Single?

Written By: Jonnita Condra
 
As we close out the remainder of 2017, it is easy to slip into the mindset of, I’ll be single forever. But, before you allow yourself to get into an end of the year funk, I want to offer you some guidelines of reflection to consider as you enter into 2018.
 
1.) It is not time. I know it sounds cliche` and every single person out there is probably tired of hearing, “wait on God’s timing”, but the fact will always remain- God’s timing is just that…God’s timing. In his perfection, God orchestrated a divine timeline for your life, which means the story of your life was written before you were a person. Every detail of your life has been tailored to set you up for each moment that will proceed. What does this mean for you?
 
You need to be present in the present. Where God has you right now is your personal classroom where he has designed specific lessons for you to learn from. As a son or daughter of our Heavenly Father you have the responsibility of asking Him, “Father, what lessons do you want me to learn in this season?” As you seek him in this manner, you soften your heart to his correction and allow him to change you- ultimately making you the one.
 
I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations. – Jeremiah 1:5
 
2.) You still need to heal. My sisters and brothers in Christ, you have to heal. It is not God’s desire for you to continue carrying around the wounds of past hurts. Wholeness is your inheritance. Through wholeness we can receive the abundant life God intended for each one of his children. In your season of healing you have to surrender the broken pieces of your heart, mind, body and soul over to our Father.
Some of us have unknowingly been approaching relationships through a broken lens, hoping our partner will fix us. But God is the only one who can heal us and make us whole. There is a version of you God intended you to become that you have not even seen yet until you get to the other side of healing.
 
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. – Isaiah 43:18-19
 
3.) You have idolized marriage. If you have obsessed over being a husband or wife throughout this year, marriage has become your idol. And we all know, our Father will have no other gods before him.
 
Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. – Exodus 20: 3-4
 
Why does God forbid idols? One word. Protection. When we begin to worship anything that is not the Father himself, it leads to destruction—but when we worship God he replenishes us in every area that we lack. The danger of idolizing marriage is that we begin to lose sight of God and our eyes are then fixed on this idea of marriage and a partner being our source. When that source doesn’t fulfill us, it can leave us emptier than we began, but our father will never leave us empty when we seek him.
 
Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” – John 4: 13-14
 
4.) Are you ignoring the relationships around you. It seems like the perfect fantasy to get “the one” and live out the fairytale life we’ve created in our minds. You know, that person we dream of to be ourselves with and we just relate. But what about your current relationships? Are you nurturing and cultivating your relationships with family and friends?
Maybe there is a relationship with a loved one God wants you to reconcile. Perhaps there is someone he has assigned you to minister to. Our ability to cultivate our present relationships sets the foundation for our future courtships and marriages. If we are dysfunctional now, it will open the door for dysfunction down the line.
 
I truly believe that God is building a generation of marriage that consists of two whole individuals   submitted to Christ. We are that generation, but we have a part to play and that means allowing God to mold us into his likeness- so we can birth the next generation and those to come.
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. – Philippians 1:6

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Dating/Courting

3 Ways To Make Your Social Media More Attractive

Happy woman busy sending messages on smart phone email icons flying out of cellphone isolated on gray wall background. Telecommunications, internet, data plan concept

 
Written By: Casey Sharperson
Blog
Sliding into DMs (Direct Message for those wondering) is a thing. It’s referenced in song after song. Yet many [Christians] wonder if it truly is a feasible option to garner dates or if it’s just a means for a quick hookup. While it’s a debated topic, for the sake of this post let’s proceed with the thought that DMs really are a legit way to meet someone.

Why?
Options. Just about everyone is online. This means there’s an entire world outside of your immediate circle. (shocker) We’re a social age, why not let Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook be the vehicles God uses to be your matchmaker?
 
Now that you’re open, here are 3 ways to attract the right DMs. While these tips apply to both men and women, ladies, let the man pursue you!
 

  1. Show your personality – Your social media is your opportunity for people and potential dates to get a snapshot of your life and your perspective. When people click on your profile, how do you come across? Feel free to ask your friends, coworkers, or community this question. What would they think about you, if they didn’t know you? If you love traveling, do you post about it? If you enjoy sports, is that portrayed? If you’re into social change, post it!
  2. Be authentic – Don’t fall victim to the idea that you have to post certain things ust to attract a certain type of person. Folks are perceptive and can tell when you’re false advertising. What’s worse is when someone does approach you and realizes that you’re a completely different person offline than you are online. Let’s stop trying to be perfect and just be real. (That’s a word!)
  3. Post Publically – Yeah, you may want to keep your page and your posts private from your grandma or employer, but private pages don’t get views. You know, after meeting, one of the first things that people do is check their social media. What if you’re tagged in bomb photos but your potential future date can’t click on your handle to see more? Just something to consider…

 
Think of your social media as your online dating profile/resume for whoever wants to find you. When it’s a reflection of who you truly are, chances are high that you will attract someone who’s interested in the real you. Remember, Colossians 3:17 NIV says, “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father”.
 
Let’s talk about it. Leave a comment about your DM experiences. Have they been positive, negative, poppin, or dry?
 

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Girl, Why Are You Still Single? (Holiday Edition)

beautiful and young woman in dress sits near Christmas tree
As the holidays are quickly approaching, I know what you’re thinking. Another holiday.. SINGLE.
Trust me I understand. (Also, visit www.SingleForTheHolidays.com; Married and Young would LOVE to help you get perspective of this season and how to handle it!)
The holidays can be a bit frustrating for us singles, so that’s why I’ve put together a survival kit to help us get through the holiday season.
Be your own “Santa”.
You don’t need to have a boyfriend to receive a gift. Go out and buy exactly what you want. For yourself. When you’re your own Santa, you can guarantee you won’t be disappointed. So splurge, sis! Get those diamond earrings you’ve been eyeing all year or that dress you seen in the magazine. Don’t hold back. You deserve it!
Pamper yourself.
Before you head to your parents house for the holidays- I know how eager you are to answer questions about why you’re still single- book a day at the spa. Get your hair done, nails done, brows done and even throw in a massage. De-stress yourself from the woes of the year. Being single for the holidays means you don’t have to feel guilty about taking care of yourself FIRST.
Attend a Holiday Party.
Go out. Have fun. Don’t sit in the house sulking. Get out there. Throw on that dress you brought yourself, pull out your favorite red lipstick, your highest heel and hit the town. Holiday parties are a great way to get your mind off of being single and who knows you could bump into your future husband while you’re out on the dance floor.
Change your focus.
Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on what you do have. You have good health, a job, a roof over your head and a family that loves you. It’s easy to think about how you’re still single but no one ever became grateful thinking about what they didn’t have. Instead they focused on what they did have and they enjoyed their portion… happily.
Prayer.
And lots of it. Take it in large doses. You will need it. I don’t know how your holiday dinners go but at my house there’s always questions about why I’m still single. No one seems to understand that being single is a choice. Meaning I’m choosing not to enter in a relationship prematurely just to say I have someone. No way! That’s a “sure-a-fide” way to end up in divorce court. No thanks! I rather wait a little while longer. So take it from me, I have plenty of experience with this and prayer will help get you through all the questions.
Listen, the holiday season doesn’t have to be dreadful. It’s all in what you make of it. You can choose to enjoy it or you can choose to be depressed. It’s your choice. But I encourage you to choose to be HAPPY.
 Don’t forget to visit www.SingleFortheHolidays.com!!!

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3 Lies That Satan Tells Singles

Love you so much. Pleasant sullen cheerless beautiful girl sitting on the window sill and painting on glass while waiting for her love heart

Below is a  list of 3 lies that Satan tells Singles, and ways to combat them:

Lie #1: You need to Date

Have you ever heard the following : How will you be able to handle a relationship if you’ve never been in one? You need to learn how to talk to people of the opposite sex. You’re awkward. As such, dating will help you be prim and proper for when you meet the one. However, this seemingly harmless advice can turn harmful. Soon enough, you will need to practice kissing, intimacy and other things in order to be prepared for your significant other. Incidentally, when you meet the person God has for you, you might be broken and dealing with soul ties.

Therefore, it’s best to trust God’s timing and not force situations to happen. Feeling that you need practice is not indicative of trusting God. God will use experiences, tests and even the mundane parts of your life in order to prepare you for your future spouse (read the book of  Ruth). Trust that God is working all things for your good.

Lie #2: You’re Too Old

Are you having a crisis because your biological clock is ticking? Don’t fear. God’s timing is not our own. Your relatives and friends may be pressuring you to enter a relationship because you’re almost 30. You’re panicking because with each additional year, you feel that your opportunity of meeting someone significantly decreases. However, God can place someone at a bus stop who can completely transform your life. We must have child-like faith and trust that God knows what we need.

If you are older and haven’t met your spouse, you are in good company. Jesus started his ministry at 30 (and was single whilst on earth) and Joseph began serving Pharaoh when he was 30. 

Lie #3: You’re not Good Enough

No one likes you. You’re too weird, fat or (fill in the blank with the lie the enemy has for you). Counter these lies with God’s truths. You have to be aggressive in casting down the taunts of the enemy! God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. When lies are entrenched in your psyche, it affects your countenance, how you talk and your self – esteem. When God finally blesses you with a good thing, you may be constantly doubting yourself. As a result, the relationship suffers.

Counter these lies by soaking yourself in God’s word. Mediate on His promises. Be proactive in what you allow your ears to hear, eyes to see and lips to utter.

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The Wait… My Story

Happy celebrating winning success woman at sunset or sunrise standing elated with arms raised up above her head in celebration of having reached mountain top summit goal during hiking travel trek.

I’ve been celibate going on 7 years.
My decision to wait,  came after 5 abortions, 7 different sexual partners including the father of my child, with whom I was in relationship with for 10 years.
It wasn’t a hard decision, I just stopped.
I can remember during that time in my life, I  thought of sex as a high. It was my drug of choice. And if I couldn’t have actual sex, I would masturbate. I would watch porn. I did what I needed to do to feel that climatic feeling. I was blind to the enemy’s tactics and I was an open field for the enemy to play in.
I can remember during this time in my life, I was dealing with the death of my mother,  I had also ended my 10-year relationship. No way did I want to deal with what. He was the only man I had ever been with but when other men after them started showing me attention and feeding my insecurities, I easily gave it up.  So, instead of dealing with these situations,  I used sex, what I knew always made me feel good as a coping mechanism. Which I find most of us do. Sex is rarely just about having sex. There is almost always an underlying fact on why we engage in premarital sex. Whether it be to fit in, whether be to cling to a relationship or the lack of love we have for ourselves and the lack of  knowledge we have of the love the Father has for us.
But God!
It wasn’t until I stopped using sex that I found out how to make good, sound decisions. The haze had cleared and my judgment was unclouded.  I was soberly deciding to deal with the wounds of my heart and pick up the pieces of my life. Which in some ways, I’m still working on today.
Many people I encounter think waiting is punishment. I actually find it quite rewarding. Choosing to wait, actually keeps me from wasting time in purposeless relationships and most importantly, it’s a way for me to honor Jesus’s sacrifice for me.
When you are in Christ, you are no longer a slave to your feelings and emotions. When you make the decision to abstain from sex, you can really do it.
Is choosing to wait EASY. No! but I can tell you through experience, it’s worth it. I’ve dodged so many bad relationships bullets.
My hope is that through my transparency, that you can find your true value. For God said, your worth is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10) and whether you choose to believe it or not, you are precious to God. I want women (and men too) to know that YOU ARE WORTH THE WAIT.
It’s not to late to realize your worth and demand that others see it too. You can start your own story of “the wait” today, right now. It’s sure to be a story of courage and bravery.
I can’t wait to hear your story. Tag your stories with #TheUnpopularMovement for a chance to featured on Crowned, LLC.

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Do Not Settle

Psalms 27:14 “Wait patiently for the Lord. Be Brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord”

I know it can be quite difficult to see others entering into relationship when you desire companionship. I know it can be frustrating to wait and wait and wait and still not find any good potential mates. I know it can be overwhelming to look in the mirror every day and face loneliness, disappointment, and discouragement.
However, I want to tell you today that your relationship status doesn’t define you! Do not settle based on what you feel in this season of singleness. Instead, fight for sobriety and be encouraged! GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE!
In this context, the term “settling” means accepting or embracing a counterfeit as the real thing because of your inability to trust and wait on God. Now, I understand that the waiting process is not the most comfortable – and, for most, not the easiest – process to endure.
However, settling causes a ripple effect that will hit literally every area of your life. For example, here are eight consequences of settling:

  1. Wasted time and energy.
  2. Prolonged seasons of waiting.
  3. Higher chances of experiencing multiple broken hearts.
  4. Higher chances of involving yourself in soul-ties.
  5. Opening your life to regret.
  6. Opening your life to disobedience.
  7. Forfeiting your process by moving ahead of God’s timing for your life.
  8. Forfeiting God’s plan for your life.

The consequences above are not meant to scare you but to shine a light on the seriousness of settling in relationships. Settling doesn’t yield good results. I want to encourage you today by letting you know that if you are single and desire to be married, God has crafted a unique individual just for you.
God allows us (and I say “allow” because it truly is a privilege – He knows best) to wait so that we are prepared for His promises, so that we can steward well His promises, and so that we can honor His promises. Never think of waiting as a punishment; consider it a joy!
If you wait on God’s timing, allow Him to affirm your season, and truly submit your heart to His will. There is always a reward. Therefore, be encouraged, as it is better to wait than to settle.