Tag: women

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Dating/Courting Engaged Single

The Truth Lemonade Revealed About Women Today

Prior to April 23, 2016, when we all heard the word “lemonade” I imagine that a picture of freshly squeezed, slightly-sweetened juice came to mind. However, after Beyoncé officially released her visual album entitled Lemonade, that word has now taken on a whole new meaning.
 
For me personally, Beyoncé’s Visual Album squeezed some lemon juice on old wounds, reminding me of the gut-wrenching pain I have experienced in past failed relationships. It also shined the spotlight on the current condition of many women’s hearts in America today.
 
Why did so many people love Lemonade? Because it showed us that Beyonce is a REAL person too, affected by the same pains and problems we humans experience. It made her appear touchable and realistic. We often forget that celebrities walk the same earth we do, and therefore experience the same struggles.  Lemonade gave women the opportunity to relate to her; it was as if for a moment she removed her superwoman cape and allowed us to sit on her bed while she poured out her deepest hurts and secrets.
 
It also revealed a much more mind-boggling reality – even America’s Pop Culture Queen: Queen Bey, can be cheated on. I have heard SO many men and women with eyebrows raised beg the question: “WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD CHEAT ON BEYONCE?!?!”
 
Although I do not celebrate the fact it happened, I praise her for her transparency. She may not even fully understand the lesson she taught – but what she really showed us all is this: Even Queen Bey herself cannot satisfy lust!
 
It doesn’t matter how pretty, sexually advanced/experienced/adventurous you are, how much money & power you possess, or how “wanted” you are by men, lust can NEVER be satisfied. Beyoncé is the icon of sex, beauty, body, power, independence, success, intelligence, and fame… and lust got bored with her too.
 
Any relationship that involves lust is DOOMED to fail from the beginning for one main reason: because lust is a bottomless pit – no matter how much you fill it, it will never be full. Many women are currently exhausted and devastated in relationships trying to satisfy an un-satisfiable lust.
 
The sad thing is that lust ALWAYS shows itself quickly, and the warnings signs are evident – so why is it that we ignore these warning signs and still end up in relationships with unfaithful, un-satisfiable men? Simple – we LOVE a good challenge.
 
We like to believe that we are the ultimate woman who can satisfy a man that has previously been unsatisfied. We like to think that we are superior to the women who have gone before us and tried to satisfy him.
 
Don’t believe me? If this wasn’t true the term “side chick” wouldn’t exist. A lot of women actually openly admit to preferring side chick status because they believe that makes them the one he really “wants,” versus the one he is “stuck” with.
 
However, what we fail to realize is at one point SHE was the one he wanted, or he wouldn’t have MARRIED HER. The very fact that he is willing to entertain a side chick, exemplifies his inability to be satisfied.
 
As women, we have to do better than this. I think Lemonade really tore the veil off of a BIG issue that has become common practice, acceptable, and normal in America – it’s not if you will be cheated on, but when. I know a lot of women who allow their boyfriend/fiancé/husband to cheat on them because they claim it’s unrealistic to expect anything more in 2016.
 
I disagree. It DOES NOT and SHOULD NOT be like that. But, the hard truth is, IF it is like that – the warning signs were there and you probably ignored them. Most likely for 1 of 2 reasons:
1. You thought you were the super woman that could make him be faithful
or
2. You don’t believe you are worth more than that.
 
Lemonade was hard to swallow, especially being a woman who has experienced every step of the pain Beyoncé outlined in her visual album. But, there was one great truth we all could, and should, learn from – if EVEN Queen Bey herself cannot satisfy lust, then men don’t cheat because you aren’t pretty enough, good enough, experienced enough, or desirable enough. They cheat because of lust.
 
It would be unrealistic to expect to find a perfect man or end up in a perfect marriage. However, the standard is only low because we as women refuse to raise the bar. Lust is not very good at hiding, it usually leaves a sloppy bread crumb trail of warning signs like wandering eyes, promiscuity, indecision, and refusal to commit… and if you choose to follow the bread crumbs willingly all the way to “I do,” then it will only be a matter of time before you are sipping on lemonade too.
 
As women, it’s our job to make sure that lust is not something we teach our friends and daughters is acceptable by accepting it ourselves. We need to stop being side chicks and stealing other women’s husbands. We need to stop ignoring the blatantly obvious warning signs. We need to know our value. We need to choose better. We need to stop drinking the lemonade.
 

Categories
Home Single

3 Ways to Capture A "GOOD" Man's Interest

Where all the good men at?  How many times have you heard that statement?  If I had a dollar for each time I heard it, my rent would be covered next month…ok, maybe not.  Anywho, my response to that question is “What are you doing to attract a “Good” man?”
The other day I was reading the story of Rachel and Leah, literally rolling in my floor, and I was reminded that to get a “GOOD” man, you have to have “GOOD” bait (so to speak). Rachel managed to get a man to work 14 years for her! How! How the heck did she captivate Jacob so much to the point where he was willing to work for her love….for 14 years?  Though we may never know the answer, if we pay close attention, there are three qualities Rachel possessed that I believe every single woman desiring a “GOOD” man should possess as well.
Stand Out
Gen 29:9  “While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherd.”
Not many women in the Bible were shepherds, but Rachel was!  Whether intentional or unintentional, Rachel did what many women weren’t, thus capturing the attention of Jacob.
What are you doing differently? Are you following the crowd or making your own path? Unfortunately when you’re doing what everyone else is doing, you blend in! No “GOOD” man desires a replica of what’s already out there, to my knowledge they desire someone that’s “one of a kind”.
Be Pleasing to the Eye
Gen 29:17 Leah had weak[a] eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful.
Ladies!!!! Ladies!!! Ladies!!!! I beg of you to look like something when you leave your home, no matter where you are going! Having an older bother and several older cousins, I’ve learned that men are EXTREMELY visual!  Very few “GOOD” men want women who leave the house in their bonnets and are unkept. If you want to get noticed, look like something worth looking at.
Beauty goes far beyond the outward appearance; you must beautify your heart as well! No man, “GOOD” or “BAD” wants a woman who is bitter, angry and disrespectful!
Be Chased, Don’t Chase
Gen 29:27 Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.
After working seven years, Jacob was given Leah, but he still had a desire for Rachel; Jacob worked another 7 years to get what he wanted! A “GOOD” man will do the same! Maybe not seven years, but he will go after what he wants. Not once did we see Rachel running after Jacob. She allowed him to pursue her. When a “GOOD” man wants something, you don’t have to throw yourself at him, he’ll let you know if he wants you or not by his pursuit alone.
Take it from Rachel, it pays to be different, beautiful and patient! It won her a man who was madly in love with her! There are “GOOD” men out there! Make sure your bait matches your desired catch!
XOXO,
Shannon

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Single

4 Types of Men Women Should Pay Close Attention To

Ladies, there are 4 types of men you should pay close attention to when entertaining potential relationships.
1. Window Shopper– The window shopper is the guy who loves to come around to see you, talk to you and to get whatever he can from you. However, he is not positioned to make any commitments to you. He is not interested in being connected to you publicly, however when no one is looking he whispers false intentions to keep you around. No one in his life know you exist.
2. Layaway Guy– The layaway guy puts in just enough time to remain in your life, however you are only an option to him. He puts in the minimum time with you as well as other women and it is difficult for him to make final decisions. He will lead you on to make you believe he is preparing to make you his, but in reality is just buying himself more time simply to keep you entertained. When too much pressure is put on him to commit, he will withdraw his time and move on to the next option.
3. Impulsive Buyer- The impulsive buyer moves quickly! His decisions are always impulsive, but never thought out thoroughly. His commitment to you waivers often. One minute he is all in and planning a future with you and the next minute he is unsure if he made the right decision. He rarely follows through with his decisions. He is not prepared to keep you in his life and only took you off the market so that no one else could have you. He’s quite selfish!
4. Disciplined Buyer– The disciplined buyer is a man with vision and a plan. He knows what he wants and he has many options but an eye for only one. He will research you and evaluate whether or not you are an asset to his life or a liability. He will evaluate whether or not you will compliment his life or complicate it. He is not interested in games and will not attempt to negotiate a deal for you. He sees your value and purpose and it does not intimidate him by any means. Prior to making a commitment to you, he makes sure he can afford and upkeep you.
Ladies, it is important to pay close attention not just to the words of a man, but also to his actions. Does he follow through with his promises to you or is he inconsistent? Is he capable of making decisions and sticking to them or is he indecisive? Does he publicly express his intentions with you or are you his best kept secret? Is he honest with you or does he play games with your heart and mind?
God never intended for you to settle to be a side-chick, or to involve yourself with a man who only desires your body and your time. A man of God will not play games with your emotions or heart and will position himself to make you his by changing your last name. I encourage you to refuse to settle for any man who is not clear about his intentions with you and your future. A disciplined man of God will not only have a vision and a plan, but he will follow through with his plans without having to be coerced or pressured to do so. You are worth the pursuit and lifelong commitment! Refuse to settle for anything less!

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

How to Find and Date the Perfect Gentleman

Let’s face it, we all want to date the perfect gentleman! Most women would love a man who answers her calls, lifts her up when she’s down, recognizes her worth, pushes her towards her dreams and goals, and opens doors for her.
Often times, we as women settle for less then God’s best; some out of loneliness, some out of desperation and others out of a lack of understanding as to how they deserve to be treated! Me, I was the girl who simply didn’t understand just how much I was worth. But that’s the thing about dating a gentleman; he’ll never allow you to forget just how special you are.
I remember deciding I was tired of being mistreated by guys who spoke down on me, called me out of my name, and was just down right disrespectful. I remember sitting on my dorm room floor crying out to God regarding my feelings of hurt. It’s almost as if he said, “Well, date me”.
Now I’ve always thought people who “dated” Jesus were just weird and lonely (lbs). But it was after failed relationships with man, that I decided to make room for the ULTIMATE gentleman. So where did I find this gentleman? I found him in my quiet time, hidden in my word (the Bible)!
The more time I spent with Jesus, the more time he spent with me, the more I became acquainted with his voice, the more he shared his thoughts regarding me, the more he affirmed who I was created to be and the more doors he opened for me, among other things.
Though I once thought it was weird to “date” Jesus, it was in dating him that I realized what I really wanted and what I deserved in a man. I realized that a “thug” didn’t have the capacity to love the woman of God, God created me to be. I learned that a man who doesn’t have God’s own heart could never treat me as Jesus did! It was in dating Jesus that I realized EXACTLY what I deserved and wanted!
So you want to date a perfect gentleman, huh? Start with dating THEE perfect gentleman. When you get to know him, it’ll be easier to recognize his heartbeat in the heartbeat of others. It’ll be easier to turn away from those who don’t display his characteristics. Finally, it’ll be easier to be found by the one who will love you and treat you as Jesus did!
Much to my surprise, dating Jesus isn’t for the lonely and weird, it’s for the wise!
Be encouraged!
Shannon C Colar

Categories
Home Single

15 Prayers For Singles to Pray While They Wait for Their Mate

Beautiful Girl reading her Bible by the sea

While waiting for your mate there are many things that you should be doing. Preparing emotionally, financially, spiritually, seeing the world, understanding your purpose and growing in God. With all the preparation that is needed, the main areas you want to focus on is : praying for yourself, your mate and your future together. Below are 15 prayers you can pray and declare daily for you and your future spouse.

  1. I declare that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and God has great plans for my life.
  2. I declare my identity is not found in success, money or a mate but in being in you Jesus.
  3. I declare that I will fulfill the plans of God over my life.
  4. I declare I am a man or woman of purpose, honor, and integrity.
  5. I declare that I am a suitable mate and will bring favor and honor to my spouse.
  6. I declare that my past does not dictate my future relationships.
  7. I declare that my past will not detour me but propel me deeper into to God and towards the mate and life he has for me.
  8. I declare that I am spiritually, physically and finically whole; I will bring something to the table.
  9. I declare I will not be deceive but with clear mind, wisdom and discernment will be able to know the perfect person God has brought for me.
  10. I declare that my marriage and family will prosper.
  11. I declare that my mate, wherever he is, is being prepared to be a wonderful and suitable mate for me.
  12. I pray for my future spouse’s mind, and that they are rooted and grounded in you.
  13. I come against any tactics of the enemy that would come to derail my future spouse and hence causing him to miss our connection.
  14. I declare that all those around us will be blessed because of our relationship.
  15. I declare that no good thing will the lord withhold from those that love him.

 
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Amen.

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage

Reconcile Your Past Relationships to Gain Access to Your Future

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As I was preparing for bed, I stood in front of my mirror and suddenly I had an epiphany: I have never owned up to the things I’ve done to my ex. It was a weird and random thought and I had no real reason to think of him considering it has been five years since I’ve spoken to him and five years since my husband rescued me from the destructive cycle of on again off again with my ex.
It was as if staring at myself as I brushed my hair opened up a part of me that I had never explored. I made myself into a victim not only in that relationship, but every relationship that I had been in. I mean, I’ve dealt with some issues. But, I created so many problems with my past partners and it was as if God said to me that I need to own up to them in order to have a successful marriage.
 
My boyfriend before my husband was probably my most significant past relationship because of the type of influence he had over me. I set the tone for our relationship early on when I cheated on him. It was something I was punished for during our entire three years. Months later, we went through a life-changing event and I became completely emotionally dependent on him and he took advantage of it, getting money and other things out of me that I would have never given to him otherwise.
I sometimes sit back and think to myself, “Was that me?” It seems like another life. In the past I used my experience with him to gain sympathy from other men that I took interest in because I had this need to be “rescued.” My own victimization took place of my reality as I exaggerated what had occurred and conveniently left out the fact that I hurt him too.
Though I apologized and tried to make it right, I still made him into a monster for my benefit. He wasn’t a monster; he was upset and confused as to why I would continuously hurt him.
 
I understand now that I had this incessant, insatiable need to feel wanted and loved. No one could have been enough for me; not until I allowed God back into my life. I realized that because I was so sick, I felt that God didn’t love me so I searched for those who would love me.
But, no amount of pseudo-kindness would fill the void in my life. When I did pray for my husband to come as I mentioned in a previous post, I was still in search of that “filler,” but no one would do. Thankfully, I kept that mustard-seed faith in the back of my heart and God delivered. I am now a new creature in Him and with my husband.
 
Lately, I’ve noticed that I am adopting that same victim mentality that plagued me before. Not that I am turning to anyone else for attention, but that I am using it to get attention from my husband. Because he knows me so well, he doesn’t entertain my sometimes childish behavior which, of course, leaves me unsatisfied.
It was that night that as I was preparing for bed that I finally understood that my own bad behavior in my past was resurfacing its way into my present and future. I thought I had put away these bad behaviors, but I only masked it so that I could be the “best wife” to my husband.
 
Without acknowledging the life I used to live, I cannot continue to make my husband happy. I also realized that not only did I need to forgive myself and my ex in order to move forward; I needed to apologize to those I have wronged.
There needs to be reconciliation in order for there to be a new creature. The word declares, “For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.” (2 Corinthians 5:19).  Without Christ’s reconciliation to the world, we would not have the opportunity of eternal life. Without the reconciliation of my past, I would not have the opportunity of an eternal marriage.
 
So, as I stared at myself I saw all of my faults and flaws and I said, “I am sorry.” Not only to myself and to God, but to my ex who had to endure the things I did to him, to those I hurt for my own selfish gain, and  to my husband who had to try to decipher all of my mood swings and bad feelings because I never let go of my past.
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Home

Why You Should Stop Waiting?

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Why You Should Stop Waiting?

It seems like the dawn of day will never come, well at least with me it does when the agonizing diminishing minutes of waiting in the Starbucks line drag on for what seems like an eternity. You scroll through the news feed, you check your Instagram, you take a selfie or two (don’t even try to deny that you haven’t done this its just sad) and sweetly jam to whatever blasts its way into the speakers of your car. Waiting.
Then you finally reach the glorious window to grab the drink you just felt like you went through a marathon of tribulation to get! It tastes just as good as you thought it would and you realize you carried on with life in the waiting. You continued to be. The drink came just like you knew it would without a second thought. And all the while you carried on living life in its entirety because of one great assurance; the reward for the wait would be there in the end.
Now I know that is an infinitely grand symbolism to relate the relationship woes of singles to the steamed Starbucks lattes we savor, but stay with me I promise I’ll whip up a delight for you in the end.
WAITING
Webster’s states the word waiting as a period of time spent inactive or stationary. For many singles the ideology behind being in the season of waiting means being inactive or dormant to life. We should just await the arrival of his or her significant other, or the the next season of life when in reality Jesus came to “give life and life more abundantly.” Jesus didn’t sacrifice himself in hopes that during the “waiting” season of our lives we would expel ourself from living it.
In 2 Peter 1:2 it states, “Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God.” God wants us to have peace in the grace of the season He has us in. When we are celebrating in the season of our singleness He means for us to stop waiting in the literal since of giving up life and wait in the beauty of His assurance, the assurance of the great reward awaiting in the end of our season.Whether that is moving into a new season of singleness, a new relationship, a new place to live etc. When we stop looking to the next season to make life better and start seeing Jesus for all He has and is in the now. We settle in the peace of the grace of the present. 
SEEING SINGLENESS
Singleness is to be lived. Not waited out in agony of finally being done like a math test or credit card application. Singleness isn’t about the pursuit of “finding the one.” Singleness is to be savored like a Starbucks frappe on a hot day. It’s to be lived in its fullness to grasp the great grace; knowledge and truth the Lord wants to extend to us.
When the choice to choose forever with the right person does come, (if marriage is even the end result for what God has for you) that its viewed through a season which was lived out in love and light not one waited out in disillusion and depression.
Singleness isn’t to be viewed with bitterness and sarcasm such as, “All good things come to those who wait”, I sure hope so because if I’m waiting for bad this is going to suck. “Why are you still single”, because becoming a magician was taken? Singleness should be a place on the journey where books are read, road trips are made at midnight, community is at your core, relationships with sisters or brothers in Christ are deepened, laughter is abundantly more, where dreams are drawn up and accomplished by the droves. Stop waiting for life to start or force people into a place which hasn’t yet been established for them in your life because you are so tired and exhausted of the process we’ve deemed waiting.
STOP WAITING
Hear me out please, I am not saying throw in the towel and go completely off the cliff of your foundations and cornerstone of standards. I am saying though stop claiming singleness as a dead, dormant dry season meant to be the end of all ends until you get to the mountain top. Instead change the viewpoint of singleness to be lived out not waited out. Let life be enjoyed, let God become more savored and let love most of all nourish and grow in the living out of the waiting.
“I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully? Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:16-19
This verse to me is the motto us as singles should be holding onto in a season where Christ longs to make His home in our hearts and bring us to trusting in Him even more for filling the space where our future mate will capture one day. But in the mean time letting God’s love grow deep in us to keep us faithful and strong. And this is the very best part so we can have fullness of life! A season of waiting isn’t death. It wasn’t meant to wait out with dread and expectations of lack. It is meant to be lived in the fullness of life, to be enjoyed to the utmost all the while increasing our faith and hope in the assurance of the end result that God is ever faithful in His promises to us!

 If we are just waiting to wait out the waiting we are waiting our life to death.

And when we finally start living the waiting fades in time and we soon realize the reward came just at the perfect time and we arrive to the window of goodness, exceedingly abundantly more than we could ask or imagine. A future full of promise and the reward of all that our sweet heavenly Father promised us. And it just so happens to beat out a good Starbucks drink any day. Don’t you think?
 
Written By: Angela Groce

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Home

Set the Foundation for Love with Honesty

My husband and I met in person at Central Park. Our business conversation quickly turned into a conversation about everything else. As he walked me to the train (after his attempt to kiss me) he stared at every movement my large lips made. I kindly asked him not to do that because it made me uncomfortable as most full-liped ladies would know. Now that I think back to that encounter, I wonder if he was looking at my lips or mesmerized by the things I said to him.
As I said in a previous article, he told me he loved me just days after meeting me. Thinking back now, I know that we were at the most vulnerable points in our lives and were able to be honest. Honesty is most important when trying to develop a relationship with someone. It is even more important than having things in common and spending quality time. It’s definitely more important than playing the so-called game of “trapping the man.”
We’ve all done it: try to find ways to get him to put a ring on it. But it is impossible to make him want you if you aren’t being yourself. The best way to show him who you really are is by the words you use. Don’t be afraid to voice what you are looking for in a relationship. You don’t want to run him off with your long list of demands but be candid about the type of relationship that you want. Make sure that you are clear that you want a monogamous relationship that can possibly lead to marriage. Why waste time? In the past, I’ve told guys that I just want to keep it casual when I really wanted to say, “I want to have your babies.” Although, God allowed me to be fearless enough to say that to my husband on our first date, I could have kept that to myself. The thing that I did let him know, which was the right thing to do was that I was tired of mindlessly dating. Yes, I was young (20) but I was tired of having a broken heart. I made sure to let God know and let him know.
I was honest but I wasn’t demanding—not at first anyway. I simply explained to the man I knew I wanted to marry, that I don’t casually date and that I hoped that the next man I was monogamous with was going to be the last person that I was with. I assured him that I was not pressuring him into anything but I wanted to be open with him. I didn’t want to date him under false pretenses and I didn’t want him to do that to me either. He appreciated my honesty and felt like he could be honest as well. It turned out that he was tired of just dating too. He was actually considering marrying someone else if he didn’t meet the right one by age 30. He appreciated that he met me before he made the mistake of marrying the wrong one.
Though it may be early in a relationship consider that the early days are your building days. These are the days that you are constructing the foundation for a long-lasting love. Love can only exist in an honest place. Its foundations must be biblical in order to thrive. “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” (Proverbs 18:21) You have the power to speak life into your relationship by being honest so be mindful of the words that you speak to your potential spouse. Also, be careful not to be demanding; that is a good way to run him off. Don’t think that as soon as you talk about your intentions for your future that you should start planning your wedding. “4Love is patient and kind…6 It does not demand its own way.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-6) It just means that you’re not wasting anymore time in relationships that aren’t going in the right direction.

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Marriage

Let Your Husband Find You: Part 2

In the previous article, I described some tips a pastor gave to find (or not find) a husband.

  • Let your husband find you.
  • Make a list of all of the things you want in a husband.
  • Trust the word that God gives you.

I followed these steps and my husband of almost four years has every quality I desired from height to ethnicity to personality.
When I heard the sermon I was only 19 and the story seemed far fetched but I was so desperate for relief that I was ready to try anything. I must have sat in that bath tub for more than two hours listing all of the things I desired and trying to be honest with myself and God. There were many times that I said what I thought I wanted and then had to mentally erase these so-called qualities that have gotten me in trouble in the past. After praying, I sat silently, waiting for God to speak to me. It wasn’t long before I heard a quiet voice tell me that I will meet my husband in a year and six months after, I would be married. He said that the devil will send people in my way but not to get distracted.
The very next day, I met a Packaging Designer for Fisher Price. He was sexy, strong, had money and was a little mysterious, every girl’s superficial dream. I tried to turn him into the man I asked for but in the end, I realized he was like every other “man” I dated: selfish and abusive. Even with that experience, I still tried to force three more relationships, including one with my ex…and his baby….and his baby-mama and each were utter failures. June 2010, a year after my prayer, I decided that I wasn’t going to get married; I’d just focus on my writing career. The next week, I met Robert Crewe. His best friend introduced us because we were both writers. We spoke everyday for three days before we actually met. I was convinced that we were going to be friends at most. Three days after meeting him, while on our first date, we stood at the Promenade Downtown Brooklyn (New York).
I said to him, “There’s something that I want to say but I’m afraid to say it.”
He said, “I want to say it too.”
Instead I told him, “I want a daughter with your eyes.”
Three years later, I gave birth to Jael Octavia Crewe, a beautiful little girl with daddy’s eyes and mommy’s nose.
There are no words to explain God’s miracles but I want you to know that you can and will experience them. I was a woman with very little faith in what God spoke into my life but I always kept it in the back of my mind because I knew that maybe, one day, it would be true. Everything He spoke into my life has happened thus far. Even though I had naysayers, including my spiritual counselor, I held on to God’s blessing. As we move toward a new year, I want you to sit down with God and discuss your future. Don’t be afraid to claim your destiny and declare your victory.
Revelation 21:6-7New Living Translation (NLT)
6 And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. 7 All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children.

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Marriage

Let Your Husband Find You: Part 1

It was four years ago when I expressed to my pastor that I was in love and we were going to be married. He insisted that my husband-to-be only told me those words to sleep with me. It was at that point that I knew I didn’t have a counselor. I felt alone. How dare he try to take away my blessing? That day I walked away feeling like I was in a fight for my life. I knew that his feelings were that of many people who could not understand finding happiness in just 6 months.
A year and a half before meeting the love of my life, I sat in a bath tub with tears flowing down my face. I was suffering from a broken heart. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me again and this time got a girl pregnant. I felt like dying. Was he the best that I could do?
As I cried, I recalled a sermon that I heard just a few weeks before. He met a young woman who was desperate for a husband. He explained to her that her husband will find her.
“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” Psalm 18:22
As women, we cannot force relationships because its not our calling to. God created man FIRST meaning it is his duty to initiate the relationship. When he finds his wife he finds a good thing because he has found the missing part of HIM.
The pastor then instructed her to make a list of all of the qualities she desired in a husband and said that in a year, she will be married. The word of God says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 It is when we ask, and have faith that God will answer us. We may not receive what we want exactly when we want it but in His time we will receive our answer and possibly our husband.
The young lady didn’t believe the pastor but by the next year not only was she married, she had a child.
God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. It is not up to us or anyone else to tell us what our calling or a blessings are. When we make the conscious decision to talk to God about our future, we are relinquishing the right to take control. “Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” (Psalm 55:22). If we put our total trust in Him, He will not steer us wrong, whether it be in relationships or life in general.
Following the pastor’s advice, I was able to marry the man that I requested. I rebuked every negative person that tried to advise me against following God’s word for my life including my pastor. We cannot let anyone stop us from obtaining what is rightfully ours.