Author: admin

Categories
Marriage

The Three P's to a Great Date Night

Flirting young African American woman pursing her lips for a kiss and caressing the face of a handsome man in glasses as they enjoy a date together

Life happens, as we all know. With the endless demands of work, home, family and other day to day activities, we are bound to get busy. However, with the busy schedule, it is important that you never become so busy that you forget to date your mate. Dating is an important element to the continued evolution of a relationship! It allows for each person in the relationship to check-in with their partner romantically. So how do you maintain dating your mate with a full schedule? There are three P’s to dating your mate that should make dating your mate a part of your regular routine.
1) Plan It!  Schedule it! Make a decision to date your mate regularly! Whether it is weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, make the date and as best as you can keep it. Remember, date night is in fact quality time so do not minimize it by not outing in the effort to make it enjoyable. Pick an activity and agree on what it will be. Whether it is a night in the house or a night out on the town, the date should be planned and agreed upon!
2) Prepare for it! Do Whatever it is you need to do to get your head in the game. If that means spending extra time earlier in that week on projects to make sure you at undisturbed during that night, do it! This could also mean assigning other days of the week to take care of household chores. Additionally, carving out a window of time of preparation to just focus on you could also be beneficial. This includes a moment to relax and unwind before the date OR, getting pampered with hair, nails, and other grooming to make date night extra special.
3) Participate in it! Enjoy it! Keep it light! Date night is a fun night! It’s not the night to fight hash out a disagreement or not speak to each other. This is literally a time to cuddle, snuggle, and laugh! Remember, this is your spouse and you have chosen to spend eternity with them, so do not slack on the value of dating after marriage as a maintenance technique to keep the fire on the relationship alive.
Remember: Making the decision to be in this relationship for life requires more than an “I DO” to maintain it, but the fun does not have to end once the marriage begins so: Plan It! Prepare for it! Participate in it! Although dating alone is not the only thing that helps to build the relationship, it is a helpful tool that can build the longevity of the relationship and allow intimacy to grow between the both of you!

Categories
Marriage Physical Intimacy

3 Places On My Wife I Commit to Kiss Everyday and Why

lovers walking in a field at sunset holding hands

The first kiss recorded in the Bible is found in Genesis 27:26-27. When Jacob kissed his son Isaac. This kiss was a sign of respect, honor, and a passing of blessing.
A kiss at its core is a sign of love and respect between two people.
It has now in our culture also become a way to connect non verbally with a person you are romantically involved with, a method of foreplay to prepare one another for sexual intimacy, and a sign of respect to a close one.
In marriage kissing is very vital part of your daily interaction. In my marriage it is already a custom when one person leaves the home we kiss each other, before we lay our heads to sleep we kiss each other, and at a time of celebration we kiss each other.
Each day I have committed to myself and my wife to kiss her in three places that hold a powerful symbol to reiterate 3 core values we vowed to when we got married.

  1. Her Forehead

In the morning before I leave for work, I kiss my wife on her forehead. The reason I kiss her on her forehead is to recommit my vow to honor and protect her thoughts, passions, fears, and her authority as my wife.
The forehead kiss is a sign of honor and respect that communicates you can trust me no matter what. When you kiss a woman at the top of her head you let her know that she can leave her entire life in your care. You let her know that she is safe with you.
2. Her cheek.
A kiss on the cheek is a kiss of friendship. Before you kiss a woman on her lips it is appropriate to kiss a woman on her cheeks during your dating season.
Each day I kiss my wife on her cheek as a commitment to be her best friend through it all. At the foundation of every great marriage is a solid friendship.
Two people who have strive to understand one another through communicating daily, putting the other before themselves through serving, conflict resolution, and respecting each other.
The kiss on the cheek will forever be the kiss that melts a woman’s heart.

  1. Her Lips

Kissing on the lips dates back to Biblical days which we can see in Song of Solomon 1:2, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.
In the Middle Ages in Europe kissing the on the lips was a sign of equal rank. Which is powerful in marriage because it communicates we are in this together.
At its core in marriage a kiss on the lips is a sign of romantic love.
I commit to kiss my wife daily on her lips to communicate the vow to romantically love her til death do us part, for better or for worse. The kiss on the lips is a commitment to forever be the romancer of her heart.   A kiss on the lips communicates that only you have my affection, desires, and heart.
The commitment to kiss your spouse everyday can build a bridge of trust and communicate your love in another way than just saying it.

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

How to Find and Date the Perfect Gentleman

Let’s face it, we all want to date the perfect gentleman! Most women would love a man who answers her calls, lifts her up when she’s down, recognizes her worth, pushes her towards her dreams and goals, and opens doors for her.
Often times, we as women settle for less then God’s best; some out of loneliness, some out of desperation and others out of a lack of understanding as to how they deserve to be treated! Me, I was the girl who simply didn’t understand just how much I was worth. But that’s the thing about dating a gentleman; he’ll never allow you to forget just how special you are.
I remember deciding I was tired of being mistreated by guys who spoke down on me, called me out of my name, and was just down right disrespectful. I remember sitting on my dorm room floor crying out to God regarding my feelings of hurt. It’s almost as if he said, “Well, date me”.
Now I’ve always thought people who “dated” Jesus were just weird and lonely (lbs). But it was after failed relationships with man, that I decided to make room for the ULTIMATE gentleman. So where did I find this gentleman? I found him in my quiet time, hidden in my word (the Bible)!
The more time I spent with Jesus, the more time he spent with me, the more I became acquainted with his voice, the more he shared his thoughts regarding me, the more he affirmed who I was created to be and the more doors he opened for me, among other things.
Though I once thought it was weird to “date” Jesus, it was in dating him that I realized what I really wanted and what I deserved in a man. I realized that a “thug” didn’t have the capacity to love the woman of God, God created me to be. I learned that a man who doesn’t have God’s own heart could never treat me as Jesus did! It was in dating Jesus that I realized EXACTLY what I deserved and wanted!
So you want to date a perfect gentleman, huh? Start with dating THEE perfect gentleman. When you get to know him, it’ll be easier to recognize his heartbeat in the heartbeat of others. It’ll be easier to turn away from those who don’t display his characteristics. Finally, it’ll be easier to be found by the one who will love you and treat you as Jesus did!
Much to my surprise, dating Jesus isn’t for the lonely and weird, it’s for the wise!
Be encouraged!
Shannon C Colar

Categories
Parenting

3 Ways to help your child Flourish

Being a new mother, everyday I am inquiring of the Lord on how I can be the best example to my budding little girl. Through much prayer as well as trial and error. I am still learning, but I believe God revealed to me three key components that will help guide you in leading your little one into destiny!
Your Relationship With The Lord Matters– Your development & Relationship with the Lord is detrimental to the trajectory of your parenting.  Remember that your child is a gift from the Lord (psalms 127:3) We are to stuart them and lead them in the truth of the Lord. How can we lead them into the things of God if you do not know Him for yourself? If you are struggling with how to pray or direct your children into light and wisdom you need to look introspectively and ask yourself if there are any areas of your life in which you have unconsciously or consciously neglected your covenant relationship with the Lord. As you seek Him with all of your heart, He will begin to highlight areas of your life or relationship with Him that may be stagnant, void or dry.
Confront your Fears– Before I had my daughter the Lord began to minister to my heart about my personal fears and began to soften my heart to dealing with those fears. He began to show me how generational curses begin, they start with undealt and unresolved issues that ones family refuses to confront and get freedom in. As God began to reveal to me how even my slightest fears can be passed down to my children if not dealt with intentionality I began to allow God access into the crevices and idiosyncrasies  of my heart he began to shed light and courage and tenacity began to arise within my heart to fight courageously to overcome them not just for me but for my children and their children’s children.“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” -Ephesians 6:12
 
Never Stop Praying– Don’t take for granted the access and ability you have as a daughter or son of God to pray heaven down over your children and family. Committing to fighting the good fight of faith on behalf of your seed rends results not just spiritually but naturally. When you commit to living a life a prayer, God will begin to give you wisdom and insight into your children’s future, he will begin to entrust you with his heart for your children and in turn it will  become your heartbeat for your child. God knows your son our daughter better than anyone, why not seek him to help develop and mold your little warriors into confident and secure kings and queens. “Never stop praying”– 1 Thessalonians 5:17 
 
I pray that these three points encouraged and inspired you to be the parent that God has called you to be. I pray that you will now look at your children throughout the clear and undefaulted lenses of God and that your passionate love for your children will begin to develop and overflow as time passes. Remember we are all a work in progress, yet with God he gives us his mercy and grace without recompense, so continue to exude that same mercy and grace to your budding warriors! 

Categories
Home Single

15 Prayers For Singles to Pray While They Wait for Their Mate

Beautiful Girl reading her Bible by the sea

While waiting for your mate there are many things that you should be doing. Preparing emotionally, financially, spiritually, seeing the world, understanding your purpose and growing in God. With all the preparation that is needed, the main areas you want to focus on is : praying for yourself, your mate and your future together. Below are 15 prayers you can pray and declare daily for you and your future spouse.

  1. I declare that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and God has great plans for my life.
  2. I declare my identity is not found in success, money or a mate but in being in you Jesus.
  3. I declare that I will fulfill the plans of God over my life.
  4. I declare I am a man or woman of purpose, honor, and integrity.
  5. I declare that I am a suitable mate and will bring favor and honor to my spouse.
  6. I declare that my past does not dictate my future relationships.
  7. I declare that my past will not detour me but propel me deeper into to God and towards the mate and life he has for me.
  8. I declare that I am spiritually, physically and finically whole; I will bring something to the table.
  9. I declare I will not be deceive but with clear mind, wisdom and discernment will be able to know the perfect person God has brought for me.
  10. I declare that my marriage and family will prosper.
  11. I declare that my mate, wherever he is, is being prepared to be a wonderful and suitable mate for me.
  12. I pray for my future spouse’s mind, and that they are rooted and grounded in you.
  13. I come against any tactics of the enemy that would come to derail my future spouse and hence causing him to miss our connection.
  14. I declare that all those around us will be blessed because of our relationship.
  15. I declare that no good thing will the lord withhold from those that love him.

 
12572994_960199680732212_3108459739342089243_n
Amen.

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

7 Things You Must Know About Yourself Before You Get Married

female hands with pen writing on notebook on grass outside

In the classic book, Art of War, Suz Tzu states, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
 
Then, we have Shakespeare who coined the phrase, “to thyself be true”.
 
It is within these two powerful quotes that capture one of the most important things you could ever do which is to learn yourself. One of the greatest assets for going into marriage is knowing oneself well.
 
Here are 7 things you must know about yourself before you get married.

  1. Know what tempts you.

Some have bought into the lie that when you get married that your attraction will be only for your spouse. This is the furthest from the truth. Self control is one of the most important qualities to master before you get married. You must know what your weaknesses are before you marry so you can stay far away from them within marriage. Adultery is nothing to play with and has ruined many lives.
2. What you’re good at.
Just like you should learn what your weaknesses are you should also learn what comes natural to you. Another powerful asset to marriage is knowing what you bring to the table. No man or woman wants to marry a person that doesn’t increase their overall value as a couple. When I met my wife I knew immediately how she added to me by recognizing her strengths in comparison to my weaknesses.
3. Know where you spend your time.
Have you ever taken your entire week and assessed it for where you spent every single minute of your day. Talking about learning yourself. My mercy. You will immediately learn where you’re wasting to much time and also the things that you’re neglecting
4. What entertains you.What do you like to do for fun? What makes you laugh?   What do you like to do calm down and enjoy the results of a job well done. Being a workaholic in marriage can suck the life out of your marriage very quick.   Learn now how to have fun doing what entertains you.
5. What motivates you.
We all have those days where we don’t want to get out of bed due to the overwhelming stress of life, heavy responsibilities, and sometimes pure I don’t care anymore thoughts. It is at these times you must know what motivates you. What will you find refuge in for a source of revitalizing your passion towards life. I have days where I want to quit, but then I think on the things that are my why for life. It is these things that help me fight the good fight each and every day. What are your whys for life? What motivates you to keep going when life is knocking you down?
6. What hurts you.
Everyone hurts differently and is hurt by different things. What you have to realize is that hurting is a part of relationships. I love it how this lyrical genius put it in this song, “ Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” You can’t go into any relationship with the fear of getting hurt. That is the great risk of loving people. But, it is good to know what hurts you in order to help those close to you. My wife and I had a very candid conversations about the things that hurt each other. We both had different things, and because of that conversation I know how to love her better.
7. Your love language
We all give and receive love differently. Knowing your love language is so pivotal for the health of your relationships. The 5 love languages are, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. It is found that what you do the most naturally is usually your love language.
 
I pray these 7 things will help you dive deeper into learning yourself better in order to be a greater asset to your future spouse.

Categories
Communication Home Marriage

4 Ways To Not Be A Boring Husband

I was sitting on the couch last week looking across the living room at my gorgeous wife when I realized I had gotten in a rut.
It was the boring rut.
We can get caught in a rut overnight or slide into it slowly over weeks.
Here is what is dangerous about a Boring Rut:
Your wife can be OK with it.
She can be fine with just hanging out with you. She might even say she doesn’t need adventure or something different, because she is fine just being with you.
She may also be fine sitting with you watching a boring TV show. But, why not find an exciting show to watch together?
She may also be fine going to a restaurant and eating so-so food. But, why not find a restaurant that offers deliciously satisfying food?
So, what do you do when you realize you have become lazy and are living in a boring rut?  Here are 4 ways to get out of that boring rut:
1. You have to care
As a leader at work, I care that my employees are giving me 1/3 of their day. I want to maximize that time so they feel satisfied at work and are productive. Their satisfaction means something to me.
In the same way, you need to care that your wife deserves the best. You need to care that her satisfaction is a priority.  If you are apathetic, you need to repent of that and ask God to give you a hunger for a life-giving marriage.
2. Tweak the daily rituals
The monotonous rituals in your marriage can become boring or they can be inspiring.  Here are some ways to tweak them:
Coming home: Pull into your driveway and rev your care engine. This will work if your wife is home the same time as you. When she opens door and asks what you are doing. Tell her that your car is an extension of your love for her and the engine is an extension of your heart. As the engine revs up so your heart is reved up for her. Another way to tweak coming home is to kiss her for 10 seconds when you enter the house instead of going to the couch, checking mail, etc.
Convo’s: Go on a walk in the neighborhood compared to just sitting down in the house talking.
Date Night: Check local Facebook groups, etc to find new activities to do. Or do one thing that is different on your regular date night–something that you normally don’t do.
3. Know when you are falling back into the boring rut
If you are physically fit, you can check the scale, heart rate, etc. to know if you are staying fit. But, how do you measure if you have fallen back into the boring rut?
Here is a simple way for you to know:
Ask your wife, “On a scale of 1-10, how innovative or adventurous am I as a husband? Or ask, “I want you to be my biggest fan. What are some things I used to do in our marriage that you would really appreciate if I started doing again?”
4. Sustain the innovation in your marriage
In your work life, you probably either use Google calendar or Outlook to make your performance more productive, to not forget important meetings, and to ensure you stay on task.
You need to do the same thing with your marriage so you stay out of the boring rut.
Here are some marriage ideas to add to your calendar:
Times for you to brainstorm date ideas.
Times to randomly text your wife during the day to let her know you are thinking of her.
Time to plan your next weekend getaway.
When you need to buy a marriage book, listen to marriage podcast, etc.
Don’t allow a boredom rut to get deeper in your marriage. You are the innovator of your marriage. You are the creative architect of your marriage. Ask God to give you the passion to keep your marriage fresh.
Question: What have you done recently to keep your marriage out of the boredom rut?

Categories
Home

20 Gift Ideas for Him or Her This Christmas

With Christmas right around the corner, we thought we would put together a helpful list to help you purchase gift for the loved ones in your life.
61CcFvHRhaL._SL1333_
This perfume by Jessica Parker is a great gift idea that is sure to leave your wife smelling lovely!
 
719s72XsOiL._SL1200_
Every lady loves a shower that is going to leave her feeling refreshed every time!
 
7180TrLbGZL._UY500_
This Kate Spade pendant necklace is a  perfect and practical piece of jewelry for your special lady!
 
61KQgiaJmUL._UX466_
This Tartan Wrap Holiday Blanket Scarf is such a fashionable and fun piece to keep you loved one warm and cozy all season!
71fFrVHgkkL._SX522_
These Bamboo Handle Makeup Brushes by Naked is surely a winner for your special lady this season! Every woman loves a good make up applicator.
81NZ3N319YL._UY679_
This Marc by Marc Jacobs Rose Gold watch is a beautiful accessory that will be worn for a lifetime!
714UCJnoqwL._UY500_
These Aldo Womens Jen Riding boots are hot gift this season for the ones you love!
81sU79-IIaL._SX522_
Valery Classic Leather Notebook is a perfect gift for the one who enjoys writing down goals and dreams for the coming new year!
8130lg1zKQL._SX425_
#1 Fruit Infuser Water bottle is the perfect gift for a health/workout enthusiast this season!
81w2GUpld3L._SX425_
These Hammered Copper Moscow Mule Mug is perfect for the woman who loves to entertain.
41Rgy5mqrNL._SY450_
Beats Pro Over- Ear Headphones are perfect for the music lover in your life!
81JgpcYcD5L._UX466_
Fossil Mens Quinn Bifold Wallet is perfect for the everyday man.
91nSw7ZguiL._SY450_
ZLYC Mens Vintage Genuine Leather and Canvas Messenger bag is perfect for the man who is always on the go!
91CmL3mh4sL._SX522_
This Basic Beard Care Kit is perfect for the man who loves to groom himself in style.
71Y-RmftE7L._SX522_
A Portable Charger is practical gift for the one you love! No one likes to run out of battery life while your on the go!
61D+W1qpXmL._SX522_
You can never go wrong with a Selfie Stick for a Christmas Gift!
51OzNBKaFjL
Givenchy Pi Cologne is the perfect gift for the man in your life!
71oJ1bap2BL._SX425_
This BBQ Grill Tool Set is perfect for the man who loves to barbecue and grill on a daily basis!
71r64ngg68L._UY606_
Mens Long Sleeve Stand Collar Fleece zip up is perfect to keep your man warm through the fall and winter season.
81yJUz4CvML._SY450_
Tom Tom Multi Sport Cardio Watch is perfect for your spouse that loves fitness!

Categories
Single

3 Benefits of Waiting on God

Guest Writer: Taylor Banks
At the end of my first year of college, God challenged me to end a relationship that He had not ordained after I had invested two years into it. It was one of the most difficult things I had ever done at the age of 19. While I knew I had heard God clearly, I could not help but feel trepidation for the unknown on the other side. During the healing process a couple months later in 2009, I made the BOLDEST declaration in my life, “Lord I am going to wait on you, the next relationship will be THE last one.” I know I did not fully understand the gravity of this statement when I said it. It was not until a few years later that I understood exactly what was going to be required of me. While being a young saved woman has not always been an easy journey, here are three benefits to waiting on God during your single season.
 
1.Isolation – Isolation during your single season allows you to focus on spending quality time with God. Isolation from others after my break-up led to intimacy with God, because He was the only one that I could depend on to fill the voids in my heart. I enjoyed finding ways to be intimate with Him, whether through studying the word, worshipping, journaling or prayer. It is essential that you find out how you enjoy spending time with God and do it consistently. You cannot afford to not be in constant connection with the source of your peace, hope and strength from day to day.
 
2.Identity – While in His presence, God gave me my identity. Knowing who you are in God enables you to live a successful single life. The word gives us an indication as to how God sees us. When you combine the word with intimacy with God, you will discover the individualistic plans He has for your life. Many times people enter into the wrong relationships because they do not know who they are or what they were created to do. Once you know what you were created to do, you will not allow yourself to be attached to any person, whether it is romantic or friendship, that does not push you closer to that purpose.
 
3.Information – I have learned a lot by watching others during this season in my life, both the successes and failures. By watching and learning from what others have done, I have been able to make better choices concerning my life. Every situation does not require us to learn the hard way. We have so many people in our lives that can lead and guide us if we are willing to listen. Ignoring wise counsel can lead to self-inflicted painful consequences.
 
I know it seems as if waiting for God is taking an eternity, but hang in there, go through the process and stick to His plan!
 
Taylor
Taylor is committed to helping young women live a life in total submission unto Christ through preaching, teaching, and counseling. She is the founder of the blog taylormadem.com where she encourages and empowers young women to pursue God’s heart and purpose for their life. Her insight culminates from personal experience and through observing the lives of many around her. After embarking on her own purpose journey she believes each person is Taylor Made to do what nobody on this earth can do and more than enough to accomplish it.
Taylor has a heart for people and enjoys spending time with friends and family when she is not busy with school. She also loves reading, shopping, watching basketball and doing more shopping during her free time. Taylor is a licensed minister and youth leader at Refuge Apostolic Church of Christ in Freeport, NY. She recently completed her Master’s degree in Social Work at Fordham University. In May of 2016 she will complete her Master’s degree in Divinity at New York Theological Seminary.

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Parenting Single

6 Gains of Contentment