Tag: intimacy

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Marriage Physical Intimacy

3 Places On My Wife I Commit to Kiss Everyday and Why

lovers walking in a field at sunset holding hands

The first kiss recorded in the Bible is found in Genesis 27:26-27. When Jacob kissed his son Isaac. This kiss was a sign of respect, honor, and a passing of blessing.
A kiss at its core is a sign of love and respect between two people.
It has now in our culture also become a way to connect non verbally with a person you are romantically involved with, a method of foreplay to prepare one another for sexual intimacy, and a sign of respect to a close one.
In marriage kissing is very vital part of your daily interaction. In my marriage it is already a custom when one person leaves the home we kiss each other, before we lay our heads to sleep we kiss each other, and at a time of celebration we kiss each other.
Each day I have committed to myself and my wife to kiss her in three places that hold a powerful symbol to reiterate 3 core values we vowed to when we got married.

  1. Her Forehead

In the morning before I leave for work, I kiss my wife on her forehead. The reason I kiss her on her forehead is to recommit my vow to honor and protect her thoughts, passions, fears, and her authority as my wife.
The forehead kiss is a sign of honor and respect that communicates you can trust me no matter what. When you kiss a woman at the top of her head you let her know that she can leave her entire life in your care. You let her know that she is safe with you.
2. Her cheek.
A kiss on the cheek is a kiss of friendship. Before you kiss a woman on her lips it is appropriate to kiss a woman on her cheeks during your dating season.
Each day I kiss my wife on her cheek as a commitment to be her best friend through it all. At the foundation of every great marriage is a solid friendship.
Two people who have strive to understand one another through communicating daily, putting the other before themselves through serving, conflict resolution, and respecting each other.
The kiss on the cheek will forever be the kiss that melts a woman’s heart.

  1. Her Lips

Kissing on the lips dates back to Biblical days which we can see in Song of Solomon 1:2, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.
In the Middle Ages in Europe kissing the on the lips was a sign of equal rank. Which is powerful in marriage because it communicates we are in this together.
At its core in marriage a kiss on the lips is a sign of romantic love.
I commit to kiss my wife daily on her lips to communicate the vow to romantically love her til death do us part, for better or for worse. The kiss on the lips is a commitment to forever be the romancer of her heart.   A kiss on the lips communicates that only you have my affection, desires, and heart.
The commitment to kiss your spouse everyday can build a bridge of trust and communicate your love in another way than just saying it.

Categories
Communication Home Marriage

4 Ways To Not Be A Boring Husband

I was sitting on the couch last week looking across the living room at my gorgeous wife when I realized I had gotten in a rut.
It was the boring rut.
We can get caught in a rut overnight or slide into it slowly over weeks.
Here is what is dangerous about a Boring Rut:
Your wife can be OK with it.
She can be fine with just hanging out with you. She might even say she doesn’t need adventure or something different, because she is fine just being with you.
She may also be fine sitting with you watching a boring TV show. But, why not find an exciting show to watch together?
She may also be fine going to a restaurant and eating so-so food. But, why not find a restaurant that offers deliciously satisfying food?
So, what do you do when you realize you have become lazy and are living in a boring rut?  Here are 4 ways to get out of that boring rut:
1. You have to care
As a leader at work, I care that my employees are giving me 1/3 of their day. I want to maximize that time so they feel satisfied at work and are productive. Their satisfaction means something to me.
In the same way, you need to care that your wife deserves the best. You need to care that her satisfaction is a priority.  If you are apathetic, you need to repent of that and ask God to give you a hunger for a life-giving marriage.
2. Tweak the daily rituals
The monotonous rituals in your marriage can become boring or they can be inspiring.  Here are some ways to tweak them:
Coming home: Pull into your driveway and rev your care engine. This will work if your wife is home the same time as you. When she opens door and asks what you are doing. Tell her that your car is an extension of your love for her and the engine is an extension of your heart. As the engine revs up so your heart is reved up for her. Another way to tweak coming home is to kiss her for 10 seconds when you enter the house instead of going to the couch, checking mail, etc.
Convo’s: Go on a walk in the neighborhood compared to just sitting down in the house talking.
Date Night: Check local Facebook groups, etc to find new activities to do. Or do one thing that is different on your regular date night–something that you normally don’t do.
3. Know when you are falling back into the boring rut
If you are physically fit, you can check the scale, heart rate, etc. to know if you are staying fit. But, how do you measure if you have fallen back into the boring rut?
Here is a simple way for you to know:
Ask your wife, “On a scale of 1-10, how innovative or adventurous am I as a husband? Or ask, “I want you to be my biggest fan. What are some things I used to do in our marriage that you would really appreciate if I started doing again?”
4. Sustain the innovation in your marriage
In your work life, you probably either use Google calendar or Outlook to make your performance more productive, to not forget important meetings, and to ensure you stay on task.
You need to do the same thing with your marriage so you stay out of the boring rut.
Here are some marriage ideas to add to your calendar:
Times for you to brainstorm date ideas.
Times to randomly text your wife during the day to let her know you are thinking of her.
Time to plan your next weekend getaway.
When you need to buy a marriage book, listen to marriage podcast, etc.
Don’t allow a boredom rut to get deeper in your marriage. You are the innovator of your marriage. You are the creative architect of your marriage. Ask God to give you the passion to keep your marriage fresh.
Question: What have you done recently to keep your marriage out of the boredom rut?

Categories
Marriage Physical Intimacy

4 Things Your Husband Really Wants in the Bedroom

 
I want to begin this article off with a bible verse to help lay a foundation…’
1 Corinthians 7:4, “The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.”
Sex within marriage is a GIFT from God! Unfortunately, the enemy has taken this gift and distorted it.
In today’s world ladies there are so many things vying for your husbands attention. In no way did God create you to ever have to compete with a woman on a computer screen, the actresses on TV, or models in magazines.
But, the reality is that the access to pornographic material and the exposure of women’s bodies today is becoming more and more of a problem than ever before.
This is why God said in 1 Corinthians 7:9 that is much better to marry than burn with lust.
I know you may get tired of your husband asking for sex, but PLEASE hear me when I say this…that is a GOOD sign! If you’re husband is asking you for sex, then that means he is running to you to meet his needs rather than something or someone else.
This should make you happy, not upset!
Sex is the greatest opportunity to serve your spouse in a selfless way, and the same for your spouse to do for you.
Men and women may see sex completely different, but that’s the beauty of how God designed us in order for us to WORK AT becoming one in our mind and bodies.
I want to help you by sharing with you the 5 Things Your Husband Really Wants in the Bedroom:
 
1. He Wants You to be Open to Try New Things
Now, I am a firm believer that you should never do anything in the bedroom that one person doesn’t agree with. It doesn’t matter what it is. The marriage bed is a place of unification, not pressure to perform. At that same token, a lot of times its easy for us to stay in a box and not be open to trying new things that could very well spice things up.
One thing me and my wife did that helped us change the norm in our sex life was changed our locations in the house that we had sex. Your husband wants you to be open to try new things, or at least open to discuss it.
 
2. He Wants You to Let Him Pleasure You
There is nothing better for your husband than knowing you are being pleased by him. This is one of the greatest man moments for your husband, so you not only should let him pleasure you, but also tell him when he is doing a good job. Verbal communication is huge for men so they know how they are doing.
For some women that have come from abusive relationships or a hurtful past, it can be challenging to allow yourself be fully loved by your husband. You have to let him in and trust him as your best friend, lover, and confidant. This can take time, but your husband is God’s gift to you to help you through this process.
One of the great scriptures that highlights God’s desire for men to enjoy their wives body is found in Proverbs 5:18, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you ALWAYS be captivated by her love.”
 
3. He Wants You to Desire Him
Men want to be desired just as much as you want to be loved. This is a huge part of having a healthy sex life before you get to the bedroom. The build up phase to a great time of intimacy is built up by little signs of desire.
Just how you desire the text messages, help around the house, and special date nights alone which all communicate to you that your husband desires you, your husband desires the same. For him its more communicated through flirting through physical touch at random moments, putting on that outfit that makes him look twice when you wear it, or just letting him know how much he rocks your world.
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4. He Wants You to Want It Too
Your husband wants you to want to have sex as well.   I know it is much harder for a woman to experience an orgasm than a man, but this is why it requires teamwork.
Communicate to your husband what you like or desire so you can make your times of intimacy just as pleasing for you as it is for him. Your husband wants you to be their desiring the sex just as much as he does.
 
God’s word is clear that sex is the tool to bring two people closer together than any other force on Earth. This is not done without work, investment, time, patience, and a lot of love!
Be committed to serve your spouse no matter the cost, and I guarantee when you both are embracing that mentality then your times of intimacy will be the most desired times of your day.
We believe strongly that your marriage requires intentional investing in order for it for it to stay healthy and to weather the many storms you and your spouse will face! This is why we created this amazing tool called Sex Without Sheets, which is a 10 Session Set taught by the Nation’s leading Marriage and Relationship Experts to help you and your spouse start having the best sex life now!
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Categories
Physical Intimacy

Intentionally Creating Intimacy In Your Marriage

Talking about sex is either one of those things that makes you excited or feel a little awkward. It depends on the person, but mostly because sex is the most intimate part of a marriage.
Knowing that sex is the most intimate part of marriage, what do you do when sex is not an option? For a period of time that is. Whether it be because Aunt Flow is visiting your wife for the week, health complications during a pregnancy or maybe your spouse is deployed in the military.
Nothing can replace those kind of intimate moments you have with your spouse. Whatever the situation may be, there may come a time when you need to intentionally create intimacy in your marriage outside of the bedroom.

Here are a few ways to intentionally create intimacy:

  • If you do not already know your spouse’s love language take time to do this. When looking for ways to create intimacy you don’t want to feel like your efforts are wasted by doing things that do not speak to your loved one in the way you had intended. You can simply ask your spouse what their love language is too if you aren’t sure.
  • Communicate! There are so many different ways to communicate your affection for your spouse. Use your words to allow your relationship to grow closer. You can talk about anything. Talk about what you miss during those intimate times you have in your bedroom (or wherever), but also talk about those other moments that make you feel super close to each other. Once you communicate other ways you feel close to your spouse you will be able to implement them more.
  • It’s action time! Once you communicate other ways you can feel intimate with your spouse make sure you intentionally do them. If you are struggling to find other ways to be intimate with your spouse aside from sex a few examples might include cuddling, massages or showering together. Also doing the things you enjoy as a couple. Maybe that means intentionally making time to cook together, write love letters, or planning weekly date nights.
  • Get creative. You really can’t replace what sex does for your marriage. If you find yourself in a situation where it is taken off the table for a time being then do not stress. Get creative and have fun coming up with different ways to keep the romance in your marriage. Try playing a game of strip poker or cuddling by candle light.
  • Seek God together. Your love life will be nothing if not centered around God. Praying together and bringing God into your marriage has such a powerful way of making you feel close to your spouse. God is the creator of intimacy so who better to seek counsel from? Allow Him to make your marriage stronger in every season of your life.

Lets do this!

Intimacy is something we all crave, and sex is one of the best ways to secure that in a marriage. Whether your sex life is great or needs some work, you really can apply everything I said to your marriage. Being married and young you have such a long journey ahead of you and you never know what is around the corner. I don’t think anyone enters a marriage thinking there may come a time when sex is not an option. However, you should know realistically there is a good chance this will happen. Don’t be so one dimensional that you do not know how to connect with your spouse unless it involves sex. You may also find that as you take time to create romance beyond your bedroom your sex life may become more balanced and fulfilling. All in all, it is about being intentional and having fun together!

Live.Love.Learn.