Tag: encouragement

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Communication Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

2 Tips to Help Guard Against Intruders In Your Marriage

Cheerful couple relaxing together at home with cup of coffee.

Over the years, I have been seeing how today’s society doesn’t value the sanctity of marriage. More and more couples are experiencing the devastation of broken marriages and divorces. From a Christian perspective, God values marriage. God’s idea of marriage consists of an unbreakable covenant between a man and woman (Matthew 19:6). It is His desire that marriages be instruments that He can use to show the image of His faithfulness and everlasting love to the world (John 13:35).
At a marriage seminar a few years ago, my husband and I heard a powerful story surrounding the circular shape of your ring and how it is a symbol of protection from “invasions” into your relationship. We learned that it is important to cover your marriage and guard against “invasions” that seek to gain access to destroy your union. Here are 2 “invaders” that we learned to look out for to share for growth in your marriage:

  1. Time Stealers. Time is something that couples should invest in their marriage. It is too easy to let time stealers invade moments designed for quality time with the one you love. Be careful to not let subtle time stealers such as hobbies, emails, TV, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media become distractions that stunt growth. Here are a few tips to reclaim quality time to find intimate moments together:
  • Schedule weekly date nights.
  • Cook dinner together.
  • Send your spouse love notes by email and text during the day.
  • Cuddle while watching a movie.
  • Take a weekend to spontaneously travel and experience new things together.
  1. Emotion Stealers. Communication is a must have in your marriage. After all, intimate talks to share your heart, feelings, goals, and dreams deepen your marriage’s bond and connection. However, improper relationships can seek to “invade” the space that only belongs to your spouse. This can take the form of sharing your heart with someone of the opposite sex or “venting” to friends about your spouse. Remember, honoring your commitment to God and your spouse requires continual connection and communication to strengthen your marriage (Proverbs 4:23).

These 2 tips will help you guard against invasions to solidify growth and build your marriage as God’s platform to reflect Him and your commitment to Him for all to see.
Husbands and wives: Are there any other intruders that you could share that you have encountered in your marriage? Please feel free to share below!

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Communication Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

3 Ways to Support Your Spouse During Life Challenges

Portrait Of Loving African American Couple In Countryside

In marriage, no couple is exempt from life challenges. Unexpected life situations happen that have the potential to create disconnections and disagreements that upset the balance of your relationship. Challenges come in the form of job changes, work-life demands, emotional struggles, and monetary setbacks. At these life turns, your spouse will need your encouragement and support.
Being grounded in God helps couples during the challenges of life. Ecclesiastes 4 speaks of two being better than one and a cord of three strands cannot be easily broken (vv. 9,12). When couples have God in the center of their marriage and friendship, His presence is the source of their strength through any challenges they face together.
Here are three practical ways to encourage and support your spouse that will continue strengthening your relationship when facing challenges:

  1. Spend time in prayer. When you and your spouse pray together, powerful things happen and your marriage is strengthened to withstand life challenges. 1 John 5:14-15 says how bold and free we become in His presence, freely asking according to His will because we know He is listening. And since we are confident God is listening, we already know that what we asked for is done.
  2. Major on love. Do you know the unique needs of your husband or wife? What is their love language that you can major on to provide support to them? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is the template for love and support. Not only does this passage of Scripture show us a visual of how to love others, it draws us closer to God as we mirror His example in our marriages.
  3. Elevate Your Partnership. The greatest gift is affirming, encouraging, and understanding what your spouse may be dealing with. Facing challenges as a unified team are opportunities to:
  • Be a good listener to communicate love and respect (James 1:19)
  • Have conversations that speak of value and commitment as you work and grow together (Colossians 4:6).
  • Grow your faith in God to navigate through the challenges of life (James 1:2-4).

Let’s start a conversation! How have you encouraged and supported your spouse? Please share in the comments below.
 

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Parenting

3 Ways to help your child Flourish

Being a new mother, everyday I am inquiring of the Lord on how I can be the best example to my budding little girl. Through much prayer as well as trial and error. I am still learning, but I believe God revealed to me three key components that will help guide you in leading your little one into destiny!
Your Relationship With The Lord Matters– Your development & Relationship with the Lord is detrimental to the trajectory of your parenting.  Remember that your child is a gift from the Lord (psalms 127:3) We are to stuart them and lead them in the truth of the Lord. How can we lead them into the things of God if you do not know Him for yourself? If you are struggling with how to pray or direct your children into light and wisdom you need to look introspectively and ask yourself if there are any areas of your life in which you have unconsciously or consciously neglected your covenant relationship with the Lord. As you seek Him with all of your heart, He will begin to highlight areas of your life or relationship with Him that may be stagnant, void or dry.
Confront your Fears– Before I had my daughter the Lord began to minister to my heart about my personal fears and began to soften my heart to dealing with those fears. He began to show me how generational curses begin, they start with undealt and unresolved issues that ones family refuses to confront and get freedom in. As God began to reveal to me how even my slightest fears can be passed down to my children if not dealt with intentionality I began to allow God access into the crevices and idiosyncrasies  of my heart he began to shed light and courage and tenacity began to arise within my heart to fight courageously to overcome them not just for me but for my children and their children’s children.“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” -Ephesians 6:12
 
Never Stop Praying– Don’t take for granted the access and ability you have as a daughter or son of God to pray heaven down over your children and family. Committing to fighting the good fight of faith on behalf of your seed rends results not just spiritually but naturally. When you commit to living a life a prayer, God will begin to give you wisdom and insight into your children’s future, he will begin to entrust you with his heart for your children and in turn it will  become your heartbeat for your child. God knows your son our daughter better than anyone, why not seek him to help develop and mold your little warriors into confident and secure kings and queens. “Never stop praying”– 1 Thessalonians 5:17 
 
I pray that these three points encouraged and inspired you to be the parent that God has called you to be. I pray that you will now look at your children throughout the clear and undefaulted lenses of God and that your passionate love for your children will begin to develop and overflow as time passes. Remember we are all a work in progress, yet with God he gives us his mercy and grace without recompense, so continue to exude that same mercy and grace to your budding warriors! 

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Finding Love

There is no mistaking I grew up with a very distorted view on love. My parents divorced when I was only four years old & something went awry from there.
Without knowing their story I cannot blame them for what went wrong. But something did. Somewhere in their love story something was lost, and I inevitably went looking for it.
I didn’t go looking for what went amiss in their love story, but I went looking for a way to fulfill my own. I always ended up in the wrong place, but I kept looking anyway.

And, one day it hit me.

How do I even know there is more to love than what my parents showed me?
Why do I think there is more?
I had only ever known my parents as being divorced and logically I should have been okay with that. They were the ones who modeled what marriage was (or wasn’t) and that is what I should have seen as acceptable for my own life.
Except I didn’t.
It wasn’t until recently that I started to realize just what it means when God says He knew me before I was even born. As I began to recall back on situations that caused hurt in my life God started to reveal to me where He was in each of those moments.

When I was kicking and screaming in my bedroom doorway, “no one loves me!”, God loved me and in a very real way He was that doorway standing strong, framing my life.
When I was kicked out of my house at 13 I felt rejected and damaged; Yet God provided a safe place for me to go, and He accepted me in my brokenness.
When I lost my virginity at 15 I thought I had found love. But when my reality was crushed by truth that I had been used for a “game” I contemplated if life was worth living. And, it was then, as I sat on the edge of my bed with a piece of glass in my hand, that God planted a deep seed in my heart that stopped me from ever causing physical harm to my body.

So, ask yourself. How do you know there is more to love than what has been modeled before you?
What tells you that love is more than what you have ever experienced?
The day I decided to open my heart to God He showed me I was right all along to believe in a better love. And, ever since that day I have felt whole. I no longer feel like I am missing something because I know the creator of love, and He has fulfilled the void in my life that I so desperately wanted for 20 years. I am married now, but my search for love was completed before my husband ever proposed.
I encourage you today to ask yourself if you have ever experienced true love. And, not the kind of love they sell you in movies or books. The kind of love that no human can fulfill, but the kind of love that cannot be explained because it far surpasses all understanding.