Author: admin

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Parenting

HELP! I'M HAVING MY FIRST BABY!

It had been almost 3 days of panic, frustration, and yelling. After 2 ½ days of consistent timely labor pains, all of the late night food binges and rollercoaster hormones, had led up to this moment. With both of our eyes fixed on each other, I gave her a rousing, “C’mon baby! You got this! One more push!”She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and once they were open, we both beheld the most beautiful thing that we had ever seen. Our son and our firstborn had entered the earth! I gave a casual smile to my wife hiding the fact that I was experiencing the scariest moment of my life. As he looked at me face to face with symbiotic screams and yelps, I felt as If I was staring FEAR in the face.
Why? You may ask. Well, fear has a paralyzing effect. If you are anticipating being a new parent, I am sure that you have heard or even uttered some of the statements below. Let’s review.
–        How can I be a father when I never had one?
–        Will I be able to provide?
–        What if I mess up?
–        I never had a baby, I don’t know what to do?
Sounds familiar? Don’t worry! New parents everywhere are collectively singing this tune like a 100 person choir.
Here are 3 tips that will have approach new parenthood with joy and with less fear and apprehension

  1. No one size fits all – When a couple becomes new parents, they are inundated with information from everyone ranging from in-laws, media, doctors, and people like me! J While it is beneficial to receive this information, never take the one size fits all approach. What worked for others may not work for you and vice versa. Be reminded that God has equipped you with all of the necessary internal mommy and daddy ‘know how’ on being a great caretaker and parent.  Prov 3:5 says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and Lean not to your own understanding.
  2. God knows your baby – In Jeremiah 1:5, it states, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”. Remember that God knows your baby better than you. So, when he/or she enters the world, Make an attempt to approach parenting from a perspective of learning. Every day is an opportunity to learn something different.
  3. I’m just scared!!– I get it! The thought of realizing that something so fragile and delicate is depending on you for survival can be nerve wrecking. After all, you have barely reached a rhythm of taking care of yourself. J This was my primary plight, but I have realize that Fear only provides a mirage of your abilities. Fear is a spirit and its job is to attack your courage and torment you on why you cannot be a good parent. However, I encourage you to BE OF GOOD COURAGE!

 
This time is a joyous occasion! Rejoice and take in every moment. Also, since you are now a parent, expect to learn Fathering side of God. You will see many scriptures in a NEW LIGHT! J

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Home

So You Are Still Waiting?

How many times this year or even this week, depending on the holiday season or large family event, have you heard some variation of this sometime jarring and piercing phrase “Why aren’t you married…yet?” From my experience, I suggest to you to not run off in a dramatic sob and drown out your sorrows in a bowl of ice cream (was that just me?) or revolt back with the latest social media phrase of “single n proud” (only me again?). In most cases, the questioner is asking from a place of genuine life concern based off of the media induced trend to only successfully attain happiness unless you are in a relationship. Or maybe the individual is from a traditional background where marriage occurred early in life and thus they literally moved from their parents’ home to marriage in their teen or early twenty something years (my beloved great-grandmother was 15 when she got married). In other cases people are just inquisitive…or nosey lol.
Respond in love!
Simply answer “Yes, I am waiting to get married” and keep it moving or if warranted, explain the desire to walk according to God’s plan. It could be an opportunity to share about your walk with Christ.
If you find yourself responding in an emotional way, stop to ask yourself why? Are you concerned that God has forgotten about you or the idea of finding or being found by a mate seems to be a fleeting idea with each year you get older? Take some time to search your heart to be at peace with the process of your life. Don’t abort the process and try to take your life in to your own hands by picking just anyone. There are plenty of examples of people who didn’t wait and moved on their own will. Just ask the 50% of America’s marriages that have ended in divorce.
 
I want to encourage you brother and sister to not be ashamed of your current marital status but to be proud that you believe that God has what is best for you. Search scriptures to meditate on about waiting on God. Isaiah 40:31, Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalms 27:14
 
God I thank you for every individual that is waiting on the promises of you for their mate. Comfort them and give them strength to continue to wait on you. Remove any guilt or shame that will tell them that they are behind schedule or that they have missed out on love. Thank you that you are our ultimate love and we can find true safety and joy in you. In Jesus’ name, Amen
 
Next Topic: “So I’m waiting…now what?”
 
INS

Categories
Marriage

A Wife's Greatest Responsibility to her Husband

My posture as a wife and as a woman of God is the same. The bible instructs us to” Trust in the Lord with ALL our heart and lean not to our own understanding, but to acknowledge him in ALL of our ways and he will direct our paths” (Proverbs 3: 5-6). This scripture speaks volume to our posture as wives.Throughout our 8 years of marriage I have learned how to abandon my own understanding of marriage and lean on the Holy Spirit for help.  I tried in my own human capability to understand my husband. I ended up frustrated, tired, uninspired and drained at the end of the day because I wrecked MY brain trying to understand a man in which I needed the Holy Spirit’s help to do so.
Women you can WASTE countless TIME in your marriage living a life of prayerlessness toward your husband. Prayer builds trust between you and God, for your mate. It is easy to become a loving helpmate to your spouse if you are in constant prayer for him. Pray unlocks understanding (revelation) that we cannot gain on our own.  After spending time praying for my husband I began to become compassionate and more patience with him. I understood that his battles were not with me but were spiritual, therefore, I began to draw my focus there (Ephesians 6:12). Your commitment to your spouse is spiritual therefore you must labor in the spirit for him, your marriage, and yourself.
I guarantee that if you commit a lifetime to praying for him without ceasing you will first see the change in you. I remember when my mentality toward my husband began to change. I responded to him differently. Not out of anger but from a place of mercy. He noticed the change in me and wanted to be a better man as a result. As women, we cannot CONTROL our husband’s growth rate. Our job is to influence him. What better way to influence someone than to LIVE the life that we stand for? Our relationships with our spouses are a direct reflection of our relationship with Christ. God is love. Love is patient, kind, and my favorite aspect about love is that it HOPES all things (1 Corinthians 13:7-13). Ladies, hope the best for your husband even in the midst of challenging situations.
Our job is to love, respect and submit to him (Ephesians 5:22). In the meantime, pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). God will give you peace beyond your understanding of him (Philippians 4:7). Our peace comes from God. Our husbands need encouragement and Godly counsel that is cultivated only in prayer. He needs you to be patient. He needs to know that you will always be in his corner speaking life into him. Don’t place your confidence in the flesh (Proverbs 3:5) but let your confidence be rooted in what God says about him and is doing through him. Remember your posture in his life. He needs YOU as his intercessor, stay focused and you will see the fruit of your prayers just as I did with my own husband.
Much Love,
Kim Allen

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Home

The Parallel Between Your God and Your Wife

There is a parallel that I have discovered between my relationship with God and my relationship with my wife Melissa.  In order to for me to demonstrate my love for God by obeying His will,  I must let go of my own.  I must have amnesia about my plans and goals for my life and fully embrace His.  I must melt away so that He may emerge.  I must exist in complete obscurity so that He is clearly seen.
It is the same with my relationship with my wife.  I can no longer be selfish and self absorbed.  I must consider her wants and desires before I consider my own.  I do so hoping that she’ll do the same for me, but that is not what motivates me to do it.  I do it because I love her.  I’ve realized that I must be okay feeling as if I don’t exist.  This relationship isn’t about me, it’s about us.  What’s phenomenal is that the more I show my wife that I love her by considering her first, the more she does the same for me.  This is a very good thing because she takes better care of me than I do.  No matter how great I am to her she outdoes me every time.  For example, one morning I cooked breakfast and washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.  We have a rule in the house that if you cook, the other person washes the dishes.  This time God prompted me to do the whole thing.  Later that day I received a text from my wife thanking me for doing so.  When I returned home from work, not only was the home immaculate, but dinner was already prepared (it was my turn to cook) and my chores were already done for me.
Jesus said that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:31, Galatians 5:13-14) . How much more are we to love our wives with whom we’ve become one flesh? (Matthew 19:5)

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Dating/Courting Home

Single Men: Priorities

There is a common need that all people have in this life. That is the need to be connected with people in a real way. This is the reason that solitary confinement is the worst punishment known to man. As a man, I feel at times that I can take on and conquer the world no matter how much physical pain I am in. Even as I am writing this I am currently not feeling well, but still feel like I can keep pushing. But isolation is a different type of pain.
I think it is important to first understand that as a single man our desire to be in a relationship is not a sin, accident, or punishment. God wired us to be connected with Him first then a partner. That is why He was not just satisfied with animals. He said let us make human being in our image to be like us (Gen. 1:26.) We were first created for God. However, when God created Adam He knew that Adam also needed a person like him to be connected to.
God is very aware of our thirst for relationships. He put it there. Unfortunately there are times that we begin to idolize that desire for a relationship and we want that relationship more than we want the perfect will of God. I believe that if your desire is to be married one day then absolutely God can make that happen for you. But before we think about “her,” let us look at a few more aspects of Adam and Eve’s story.
In Genesis 2:18 (a verse that men love to quote) says, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” This is very clear that God knows your need for a relationship better than you do. What I love about this passage, that so many people overlook is the very next verse. Verse 19 says this, “So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one.”
Isn’t it interesting that immediately after God told Adam you don’t need to be alone, but first I need you to name all these animals? I’m sure I would have been like “but God… What about my helper?” Here’s the reality, God has a helper just for you. However, there may be things that He needs for you to do before He brings her along. God’s purpose for your life is way more important than your future spouse because He would never give you a spouse to take away from your purpose. So where are you at with purpose? Do you know what God has called you to do? Are you walking in that direction? Is your bank account at the place it needs to be? How are you stewarding your purpose?
How can you ask God for “her” if you have not began to walk in your purpose yet? You have to first be a good steward over your purpose before you can ever be a good steward over hers too. So I challenge you with this. Stop worrying about her and start fulfilling purpose. Then watch Him bring her along to help you. God cares more about your purpose than He does your spouse. Get in purpose.
#purposeovereverything #aboutmyFathersbusiness

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Marriage

How to remain content during singleness

How do I remain content during my season of Singleness?
I was asked this question while I was single and even more now that I am married. I look at my life and see the beautiful grace of God and how one can truly be content while waiting patiently for that special someone. So, Im going to share three scriptures that really helped me stay focused as well as excited for my future with God while waiting for my Adam to be awakened.
1. 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 NLT “But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of The Lord-how he may please The Lord. He who is married cares about the things of the world-how he may please his wife”
It doesn’t get much plainer than that! This scripture shows what one needs to be focused on while in a time of waiting. When I read this scripture for the first time I was single and pursuing God with all of my heart but was still worried about whenHe was going to reveal my Adam. But after allowing this verse to eradicate and correct my limited way of thinking I was comforted in knowing that God has not left me helpless he has given me instruction during my time of waiting. I am to honor the Him and see how I can please him with my life. This scripture ultimately changed my life. NO longer was I consumed with the What if? I was now consumed with how I can make my life a living testimony to bring Glory to God.
2. Song of Solomon 2:7 NLT ” Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right”
Gods timing is perfect! He knows our beginning and end and his thoughts towards you and I are of good and not of evil. It is so easy to get impatient when we are waiting on something that we really want. Whether its a job, gift, mate or dream. Marriage is not for the fainthearted. There is a certain development and revelation I believe occurs prior to “love” being awakened. Therefore we are not to rush the process, we are to enjoy the process and allow the our omnipotent Father to reveal to us when the time is right to awaken “love” within you to share with that special person.
3. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT ” For I know the plans I have for you”, says The Lord. “They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope”
The king of the universe knows loves you and has an amazing plan for your life! He knows what you are experiencing right now and knows what your future will bring. He hears your prayers and is aware of the issues that tug at your heart. Even during my time of discontentment I would doubt God and his capability to free my soul from the worries and challenges of this world. Yet, during my moments of feeling dissatisfied the Holy Spirit would remind me of the Fathers words and thoughts towards me. Once I heard those words I was set free and made content.
Be content in where God has you while being single. Enjoy this season in your life. Once you are married a new chapter in your life will now begin. Just like a book each chapter plays a role in the story line of the theme. In the end we are all called to bring Glory to God whether you are single or married.

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Impotence (impotence, erectile dysfunction) is the most common sexual disorder in the male population.

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