Tag: single

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Dating/Courting Engaged Finances Home Single

Honey, I Wrecked My Credit

Young black woman drinking tea and chatting with boyfriend on couch

Authors: Culus Williams & Calandra Thompson
Life has happened to many of us and in the process our credit was wrecked. Often times we hear that our credit score makes us attractive to lenders. So, we must ask a question… “Will your mate be attracted to your credit score?”
Many of us avoid discussing credit profiles until marriage but we think it’s important to discuss this while dating. Your mate needs to know long before the “I do’s” what your credit report reflects. According to a survey form FreeCreditScore.com, about 30% of women and 20% of men stated they would not marry a person with a low credit score.  
While you’re single this would be a great time to start rebuilding your credit if it’s been wrecked. Here are a few tips to get you started long before your mate comes along and brings up the topic.
CHECK

  1. Review your credit report. You are eligible to receive a free copy of your credit report annually at www.annualcreditreport.com

ARRANGE

  1. Set-up payment plans with the debts that are reflected on your credit report and pay them off. We would suggest starting with the smaller ones first, so that you don’t get overwhelmed. Also, negotiate with the debt collector to settle the debt for a lower amount.

PAY

  1. Keep paying your current bills on time. Most of us have cellphones and electricity bills. Paying these bills on time isn’t reflected on our credit reports but if we fail to pay and become delinquent this will be reflected on your credit.

The bible tells us in, Romans 13:7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. (NIV)
In your single season work on building your credit so that you are attractive in your mate’s eyes but also so that you are attractive in God’s eyes by honoring his word. God doesn’t desire for his people to be in debt. We are supposed to be lenders and not borrowers. We are called to build God’s kingdom by using our finances to bless others.  We can’t bless others if our finances are wrecked.
When God blesses you with a mate, your score may not be perfect but at least you can say. “I’m working on it.” That sounds way better than, my credit is a mess and I haven’t done anything about it.
We both have discussed our credit with each other and it has truly been a blessing to understand what we need to work on long before marriage. We are able to be honest and work on paying off debts while dating. How cool is that?! You can be open and honest about your credit profile and not feel ashamed.  
Trust us that you will feel a boost of confidence, knowing that you’re headed in the right direction financially.
BIO:
Culus Ellerton Williams II and Calandra Thompson are both devoted to Jesus Christ and their families. They both recently accepted the call to preach the gospel. They have a passion to spread the gospel to all that will hear. They enjoy encouraging and inspiring people to know more about Jesus Christ. They’re both ministry leaders at Christian Chapel Temple of Faith in Dallas, TX. Their hobbies are writing, dancing, singing and spending time with family.

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Dating/Courting Home Single

4 Types of Men Women Should Pay Close Attention To

Ladies, there are 4 types of men you should pay close attention to when entertaining potential relationships.
1. Window Shopper– The window shopper is the guy who loves to come around to see you, talk to you and to get whatever he can from you. However, he is not positioned to make any commitments to you. He is not interested in being connected to you publicly, however when no one is looking he whispers false intentions to keep you around. No one in his life know you exist.
2. Layaway Guy– The layaway guy puts in just enough time to remain in your life, however you are only an option to him. He puts in the minimum time with you as well as other women and it is difficult for him to make final decisions. He will lead you on to make you believe he is preparing to make you his, but in reality is just buying himself more time simply to keep you entertained. When too much pressure is put on him to commit, he will withdraw his time and move on to the next option.
3. Impulsive Buyer- The impulsive buyer moves quickly! His decisions are always impulsive, but never thought out thoroughly. His commitment to you waivers often. One minute he is all in and planning a future with you and the next minute he is unsure if he made the right decision. He rarely follows through with his decisions. He is not prepared to keep you in his life and only took you off the market so that no one else could have you. He’s quite selfish!
4. Disciplined Buyer– The disciplined buyer is a man with vision and a plan. He knows what he wants and he has many options but an eye for only one. He will research you and evaluate whether or not you are an asset to his life or a liability. He will evaluate whether or not you will compliment his life or complicate it. He is not interested in games and will not attempt to negotiate a deal for you. He sees your value and purpose and it does not intimidate him by any means. Prior to making a commitment to you, he makes sure he can afford and upkeep you.
Ladies, it is important to pay close attention not just to the words of a man, but also to his actions. Does he follow through with his promises to you or is he inconsistent? Is he capable of making decisions and sticking to them or is he indecisive? Does he publicly express his intentions with you or are you his best kept secret? Is he honest with you or does he play games with your heart and mind?
God never intended for you to settle to be a side-chick, or to involve yourself with a man who only desires your body and your time. A man of God will not play games with your emotions or heart and will position himself to make you his by changing your last name. I encourage you to refuse to settle for any man who is not clear about his intentions with you and your future. A disciplined man of God will not only have a vision and a plan, but he will follow through with his plans without having to be coerced or pressured to do so. You are worth the pursuit and lifelong commitment! Refuse to settle for anything less!

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Dating/Courting Engaged Single

Dear Unmarried, Your Relationship with the Lord Matters

Beautiful Girl reading her Bible by the sea
Your relationship with the Lord should be something that you take confidence and security in. It should also be one of the most attractive qualities that your future spouse honors and respects. How you relate, involve and allow the Lord to lead and guide you shows the real and raw you. So my question is: “What is your view of God? Are you involving him in your everyday life?
Before my now husband pursued me, he first recognized my passion and zeal for the Lord. Until this day, he says that my relationship and pursuit of the Lord was one the most attractive and main reasons why he felt peace in pursuing me.
If you desire to marry a man of God you need to also be a woman of God,  a woman who loves God more than she loves her husband. “How can I love God more than my spouse?” It is only natural to do so when you truly love and fear the Lord from the right perspective.
One of the commandments in the bible is “Love the Lord thy God with all of your heart, mind and soul” The word of God does not change once you get married. The dynamics change in which you are required to include your now spouse for the beautiful reason in which you both become one. So as you love an honor the Lord the overflow of your obedience and passion will overflow into how you love, respect and honor your spouse.
I say this to encourage you to invest in your spiritual development and relationship with the Lord while you are unmarried. Do not take for granted the time, ability and focus you are able to give the Lord prior to marriage.
The success of your future marriage depends on it.  Commit to a life of true devotion along with a commitment to actively growing and maturing in your relationship with the Lord.
In I Corinthians 7:34  we see clearly what we are suppose to truly be focused on during your season of singleness: “His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband”
Enjoy the season the Lord has you in and know that your history with God is pivotal to your history with your future spouse! 

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Home Single

4 Commitments That’ll Determine A Person's Readiness for Marriage

One question I get asked quite often is, “How do you know when you’re ready for marriage?”
I used to give a very non-direct answer such as, “You’re never really ready for marriage.” Then, I would go into a long explanation of that concept which is totally true.
Even being one of the most emphatic teachers of preparing for marriage, there is still the reality that once you are married you will learn how much more about yourself and marriage that you couldn’t learn until you are actually married.
But, I was riding in the car with one of my mentees the other day when he asked me the very notable question, but this time it was different.
I looked at my life and now marriage to see what decisions I made in my singleness that are having the most impact in my marriage today. Those decisions actually came down to 4 commitments that I believe are strong signs of readiness for marriage.
Here are the 4 commitments.
1.Commitment to God.
What you will learn very quickly about marriage is that we’re not smart enough to create such a highly complex institution. Marriage was created by God and for God that it might bring glory back to Him. Well, before marriage comes you first learn how to be committed to God in the form of a relationship. It is this commitment that becomes your foundational relationship in your life. If you are unable to daily commit to a unconditionally loving, never failing, and always consistent God then what makes you think you will be able to commit to an imperfect, will hurt your feelings, and fail you more times than you plan man or woman? Commitment to God is essential for a healthy marriage relationship.
2. Commitment to church.
After your commitment to God the next commitment is your ablilty to commit to your local church. Now, I’m not just talking about Sunday attendance, but actually being involved in your church in a volunteer role. Why is this important in light of being prepared for marriage? Volunteering at your church shows the mature sign of taking your faith and using it to bless others. This is very important because being selfless is one of the most necessary qualities to have in a healthy marriage.
3. Commitment to friends.
It is proven that marriages that last the longest have been built upon a foundation of a solid friendship. When you are single it is easy to just focus on trying to find that one person to build a romantic relationship with versus learning how to become a good friend first. It is in friendship that you learn how to be encouraging, challenging, patient, and loyal no matter what. If you are a bad friend now, you will be a bad spouse later.
4. Commitment to Work.
This is the easiest one of them all. If a person doesn’t work, a person doesn’t eat. This commitment is vital for the ability to simply live and enjoy this thing called life.
I pray these 4 commitments shed light on some of the important things you should be focused in on during your season of singleness. Also, when you do meet that special person you can use these 4 commitments as a basis of conversation to see their readiness for marriage.

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Home Single

How to Wait and Pray for Your Future Spouse

We are told as believers to be patient, and WAIT on God regarding the coming of our spouses, but waiting is literally one of the most challenging things to do in our day and time.
I didn’t date much during my high school and college years simply because I saw it as a time for me to develop my relationship with God, and also because my pastor made it very clear to me that I wasn’t ready to lead a woman until I first proved I could lead myself.
But, even during those early years of my life I had such a genuine desire to meet, know, and love my future wife.  This is the story of many because God created us with the desire to come into covenant with one person that we will spend the rest of our life with. Upon recognizing the desire to marry, find someone and falling in love is not immediate, but the season of waiting is.
Waiting on your spouse is inevitable, but many do not embrace the art of praying for their future spouse during that time.  The bible states very sternly in Philippians 4:6, “To be anxious for NOTHING, but  in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  This is one of the most key verses for those in the season of waiting.
The moment you feel yourself becoming anxious you should automatically get on your face before God and pray!
During my single years, each night during my quiet time with God I would always end with a few short prayers covering my wife (whom I hadn’t met yet). I didn’t make requests about what I wanted her to be, but I prayed over her knowing that she was already somewhere fully created.  I would pray protective prayers over her, and ask that God would continue to push her into purpose knowing that would cause us to meet one day.
I made sure not to allow that to be the majority of my prayer time because during singleness your main priority should be the development of yourself, and your relationship with God. Praying for your spouse gives God full control, and will encourage you during your season of waiting with patience.
I thank God that He encouraged me to do this, because it was the very prayers that I prayed over my future wife that helped me recognize that Natasha was the one I had been praying for all those years.
So I encourage you as you are in the season of waiting to pray over your future spouse and watch God work!
Psalm 33:20-22 “Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.”

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Home Single Spiritual Intimacy

7 Truths about God to know as a Single

people, race, ethnicity and portrait concept - happy african american young woman with open arms in summer park

I have a confession to make: I had a dramatic moment the other day when I let my circumstances get the best of me. “I feel like I’m going to be single forever!” I thought to myself. You know how they go – those pity-party, woe-is-me, depressing moments.
However, as I allowed my mind to go there for a second, my heart screamed – but that is not the nature of God! He is not One who neglects prayer, promises, or the desires of our heart. As I allowed that truth to counter the frustration I was feeling, I began to realize the significance of knowing God’s heart and filtering my thoughts through that. Here are some important truths I came up with about who God really is:
He is…

  1. One who answers prayers


1 John 5:14-15 says “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” If God designed us with a desire to be married (Psalms 139:13-16), and also created marriage, then unless we’ve been given the gift of celibacy…it is His will for us to get married. If it is His will for us to get married, then when asking for it is according to His will, all that’s left is for us to know that He hears us!
2. One who exceeds expectations
Ephesians 3:20-21 states, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…” He not only is a God that answers our prayers, He is a God that exceeds them! That means that we can expect Him to surpass our understanding of how He operates in our lives.
3. One who guards our hearts
It’s possible that the reason you are still single is because the Lord is protecting your heart in the process of preparing you to be a husband or a wife. In 2 Timothy 1:12, Paul talks about how he is “convinced that He is able to guard that which he has entrusted to Him.” If you have entrusted your heart to God, do you believe that He will guard it? Can you recognize His involvement in your relationships or lack of relationships as Him guarding your heart? Sometimes it’s difficult to separate our emotions from the reality of that truth, but if we can rise above our circumstances, we can see God for who He really is – a protective, caring Friend and Father.
4. One who fulfills promises
When Abraham was given an impossible promise, he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised.’ (Romans 4:21). In Hebrews 6:13-15, it says that “When God made His promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants. And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.” In those moments when you feel hopeless about your situation, remember that you are not the first to face a seemingly-impossible promise! If God has fulfilled that type of promise before, He will certainly do it again.
5. One who prepares us
God is a good Father. A good father wouldn’t put his child into a situation that they aren’t ready for. You may still be single because He is preparing you for marriage. 2 Peter 3:9 – “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” What if He cares so deeply about the quality of your marriage that He won’t allow you to enter that season until you’re ready (ready by His [all-knowing, wise, understanding, preeminent] definition, not yours)
6. One who doesn’t disappoint us
Romans 9:33 says, “Behold, I lay in Zion a Stone of stumbling and a Rock of offense, and he who believes in Him will not be disappointed.” Psalm 22:5 says that “To You they cried out and were delivered; in You they trusted and were not disappointed.” If we’re feeling disappointed, my guess is that God isn’t finished with His work in our situation yet.
6. One who gives us the desires of our hearts
The famous verse, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart,” (Psalm 34:7) is important for singles to know and believe. It’s also important to know that if you’re waiting for Him to give you the desires of your heart, He may be calling you into deeper intimacy with Him. The phrase “take delight in the Lord” implies that our joy needs to be rooted in Him, not in people, things, talents, etc. Once that occurs, we can trust that He will fulfill dreams and desires.
Being single can have its ups and downs, as does any season of life. However, if we choose to let the truths of who God is define our view of our situation, then we are bound to be filled with hope and joy, no matter the circumstance!

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

2 Myths Christian Single’s Must Stop Believing About Relationships

Shy woman and man sitting on sofa couch next each other. First date. Attractive girl and handsome guy meeting dating and trying to talk. Male touching picking up female. Instagram filtered.

There are many people I could blame for the establishing of certain myths that Christians have now embraced as expectations for marriage. A myth is anything that is an idea that is WIDELY held, but false.   It is so important when desiring to meet the right one for you that you have the right mindset to help you be successful in not only meeting, but eventually getting married.
 
These are 2 myths that I have heard taught strongly whether it be through social media posts, sermons, books, and we can’t forget romantic movies.
 
 
Lets start with the most important one.
 

  1. God has only one person for you to marry.

 
My background is in biblical studies with my major being in systematic theology. I have a strong passion for the Word of God, and also for the correct teaching of God’s Word. But, no where in scripture do we see the validation that there is only one person for you to marry. In fact if you examine this concept from the right angle it will all make sense.
 
If there were only one person for you to marry, then that means you have one chance to get it right. Last time I checked, God has taken many of my not so good decisions and turned them for His good according to Romans 8:28.
 
And, lets just for fun say you do make a mistake and marry the “wrong” person that God didn’t have specifically for you, then now your children are illegitimate. Your children’s children are illegitimate. You’ve basically just thrown off the entire universe because you married the “wrong” person.
 
Now, lets add to it. What happens if the one person God has for you marries someone else before you meet? Does that mean you must be single for forever because that person married to soon?
 
The goal isn’t to find the one person, but to find the best person that is suitable for you and your future. The reality is there are MANY people out there that could be suitable for you that God would approve of.
 
 

  1. God chooses your spouse.

 
The first account of marriage we see in the Word of God is Adam and Eve.
 
In Genesis 2:22-23 it states, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man”.
 
The process of Adam and Eve coming into covenant was 2 steps. First God created her, then Adam CHOSE her. We do not see God saying to Adam, “HEY ADAM HERE SHE IS” or, “ADAM THAT’S HER”. But, we do see God presenting her to Adam, and then Adam CHOOSING HER.
 
Yes, 100% God needs to be a part of the process, but He has given us principles in His Word to help us choose a suitable mate.   Who you choose to marry should be a very conscious decision made with counsel from leaders, friends, and the peace of Holy Spirit. Do not choose someone because it just feels right, or because you had a dream about you two being together and immediately think God gave you the dream.
 
These two myths are MAJOR in the Christians journey for how they approach dating and relationships. Once you stop believing there is only person for you to marry and that the choice is not yours then it will truly free you to get to know people without the pressure of missing it or getting it wrong.
 
 

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Dating/Courting Home Single

10 Signs You Have a Soul Tie and How to Break Them

There are many different kinds of soul ties some healthy and others unhealthy. For the sake of this article, I will be concentrating on the unhealthy soul ties that are formed in romantic relationships before marriage. Humans are what we call “triune beings”, they are made of soul, spirit, and body. Our souls are the seat of our will, emotions, and intellect. Before marriage,our souls should be connected to  the spirit of God as people who are believers. That means our will , emotions and intellect should be guided by the spirit of God. After marriage, our soul should be connected to our mate and the Holy Spirit. God initially designed a soul tie within marriage so that couples could walk as one. However, if a person becomes emotionally and sexually entangled with someone before marriage, they create a soul tie that is unhealthy.
Here are some clues you have a soul tie:

  1. Your mood shifts based on their presence or absence.
  2. They are constantly on your mind.
  3. You have difficulty making decisions without that person’s input or approval.
  4. You always consider the person’s reaction or thoughts when you are making decisions.
  5. You stalk them on social media
  6. You cannot stop seeing them or having sex with them
  7. You stay with them even if the relationship is unhealthy
  8. You stay with them despite family and friend’s protest
  9. You think about them sexually even after you are married to someone else
  10. You are willing to do ANYTHING to make the relationship work.

Here are some spiritual steps to take in order to start the process of breaking a soul tie:  

  1. Acknowledge you have a soul tie
  2. Confess it to the Lord
  3. Renounce the relationship with that person
  4. Come out of agreement with anything you did with that person
  5. Make a declaration to walk forward with God.
  6. Get deliverance prayer if needed.

In addition to these spiritual steps, you will need to do practical things like get rid of their number, move, or change your number, etc.

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

7 Things You Must Know About Yourself Before You Get Married

female hands with pen writing on notebook on grass outside

In the classic book, Art of War, Suz Tzu states, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
 
Then, we have Shakespeare who coined the phrase, “to thyself be true”.
 
It is within these two powerful quotes that capture one of the most important things you could ever do which is to learn yourself. One of the greatest assets for going into marriage is knowing oneself well.
 
Here are 7 things you must know about yourself before you get married.

  1. Know what tempts you.

Some have bought into the lie that when you get married that your attraction will be only for your spouse. This is the furthest from the truth. Self control is one of the most important qualities to master before you get married. You must know what your weaknesses are before you marry so you can stay far away from them within marriage. Adultery is nothing to play with and has ruined many lives.
2. What you’re good at.
Just like you should learn what your weaknesses are you should also learn what comes natural to you. Another powerful asset to marriage is knowing what you bring to the table. No man or woman wants to marry a person that doesn’t increase their overall value as a couple. When I met my wife I knew immediately how she added to me by recognizing her strengths in comparison to my weaknesses.
3. Know where you spend your time.
Have you ever taken your entire week and assessed it for where you spent every single minute of your day. Talking about learning yourself. My mercy. You will immediately learn where you’re wasting to much time and also the things that you’re neglecting
4. What entertains you.What do you like to do for fun? What makes you laugh?   What do you like to do calm down and enjoy the results of a job well done. Being a workaholic in marriage can suck the life out of your marriage very quick.   Learn now how to have fun doing what entertains you.
5. What motivates you.
We all have those days where we don’t want to get out of bed due to the overwhelming stress of life, heavy responsibilities, and sometimes pure I don’t care anymore thoughts. It is at these times you must know what motivates you. What will you find refuge in for a source of revitalizing your passion towards life. I have days where I want to quit, but then I think on the things that are my why for life. It is these things that help me fight the good fight each and every day. What are your whys for life? What motivates you to keep going when life is knocking you down?
6. What hurts you.
Everyone hurts differently and is hurt by different things. What you have to realize is that hurting is a part of relationships. I love it how this lyrical genius put it in this song, “ Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” You can’t go into any relationship with the fear of getting hurt. That is the great risk of loving people. But, it is good to know what hurts you in order to help those close to you. My wife and I had a very candid conversations about the things that hurt each other. We both had different things, and because of that conversation I know how to love her better.
7. Your love language
We all give and receive love differently. Knowing your love language is so pivotal for the health of your relationships. The 5 love languages are, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. It is found that what you do the most naturally is usually your love language.
 
I pray these 7 things will help you dive deeper into learning yourself better in order to be a greater asset to your future spouse.

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Single

10 Qualities of a Man Ready for Marriage

I started thinking about my unmarried or newly married friends and their dating/courting relationships. After you have committed to someone and have dated exclusively for some time, how do you know when you are ready to take the leap of faith and get married?
Marriage is wonderful but it can come with it’s challenges so you need to be prepared emotionally, spiritually, and financially to be happy beyond the wedding day.
This post is focused on the man especially since he is the head of the relationship. I have listed 20 qualities that I believe are attributes of a man ready for marriage. I decided to break this up into two separate articles to keep this one from being a book chapter instead of a blog post. Stay tuned for Part 2 and “Qualities of a Woman ready for a Godly Marriage”.
1. Seeks God with his whole heart-
Psalm 119: 9-11
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
The scripture says in order to keep yourself pure, hide His word in your heart. Seeking Him with your whole heart will keep you focused on pleasing God in all that you do.
2. Attends, gives and serves at a church
As a saved young woman, I have heard this line many times, “You are a Christian (or saved), oh that’s cool, I go to church, I am a member of…” I am happy that you “go to church”, but I believe you are a true member when you have invested your time, resources and talents to this church. The church cannot run itself without it’s members.
Your local church will be blessed by your help. What areas of the church are you serving in? How can you be a blessing to your pastor and members? I have found that serving in the church keeps you grounded, accountable and you learn so much about yourself and the life of Jesus by serving His people.
3. Has godly friends- Having godly friends will also help with accountability. Having friends who are walking with Jesus that will give you godly advice and will understand your struggles, praises, and will encourage your spiritual growth. The scripture says in Proverbs 27:17 that “Iron sharpens Iron”.
4. Has a good relationship with his family- I know all families are not perfect, but is there communication and respect with and towards the family.
This is important because if there are majors signs of dysfunction in the family, this unfortunately can filter over into your marriage. You will need to have open communication about the future in-laws.
5. Prays with and encourages you to pursue God more while he is pursuing you- The man is the head of the household. He will need to treat the bride as Jesus does the church. The Lord of Lord’s desires a church without spot or blemish.
Jesus loves us with an everlasting love. A godly man will want his wife to be all that God has called her to be. A godly man will want his woman to put God first before him.
6. Has a job or career- The husband will be the provider of the family and head of the household. He will need a job or is working (in school) to obtain a career.
7. Encourages you to  pursue your passion and goals- He will not be intimidated or will not limit his woman’s God given gifts.
8. Abstains from sexual immorality and fornication-
1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
The above scriptures describes those that fall to lust as those who do not know God. God does not want you to corrupt your body with this sin. Having sex outside of marriage will bring on a slew of problems into a pure relationship.
It is created for husband and wife only to enjoy. If you are not abstaining from this, you are sinning against God and your body.
This will keep the enemy from corrupting your union before it has even started. If this has already happened in your relationship, please seek Godly counsel on how to proceed with your relationship.
This goes back to being involved in a church, having Godly friends, and being guided by your pastor. Your support system will help you as a couple get back on track.
9. Communicates with you about his past, his struggles, and future- You do not want to have any surprises before you say “I do”.
10. Enjoys spending time with you- My grandfather who had been married for almost 60 years before he passed, gave me and Joel this one piece of marriage advice, “Have fun with each other.”
You want to enjoy your time together even if you are doing something that you don’t want to do. It shows that you want to invest in getting to know your mate and showing them how much you love and appreciate them.