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Birds of A Feather Shouldn't Have Bad Credit Together

Worried young African American couple looking through bills online

by Certified FICO Professional Calvin Russell Jr
Lets face it. Talking about finances is a tough conversation to have, especially when you’re married. Married couples bring their money habits together and they try to get on the same page. Saving, splurging on unneeded items, investing, and student loans are all important pieces to the financial puzzle. But, one of the most important pieces that most married couples forget to talk about is Credit.
The main reason why credit is swept under the rug, is because it’s the “Adult Report Card.” Your credit score pretty much grades your financial habits by showing how well you manage your debts. So, how can married couples make this conversation easy you ask? Well, its most definitely going to be short term pain for long term gain. Right now, it may hurt a little to lay it all out on the table. But, the reward of getting everything out in the open helps create a brainstorm of ideas to move in a positive direction.
1. Get Updated Credit Reports For Free
The easiest way to get your credit reports for free is to either go to www.creditkarma.com or www.annualcreditreport.com. Credit Karma will also give you your credit score and reports but, they only offer Equifax and Transunion. To obtain your Experian report, you must go to Annual Credit Report. Laying out both of your credit reports will allow you all to see how much debt exists and the credit situation of your partner in crime. Keep in mind, less than 10% of financial institutions use the Credit Karma score. 90% of lenders use the FICO score. You can get both your score and report for a small fee of $20-$60 at www.myfico.com.
2. Set Your Credit Goals
Many married couples will eventually talk about their goals of leasing an apartment, buying a home, upgrading their cars, or paying off their student loans. The challenging part is turning those goals into action plans. Once both of you see each other’s credit situation, you can begin to see how realistic those goals are.
3. Get Assistance From Great Sources
After being marred for over 5 years myself, I know what it’s like to have people give you their advice. I have aways been a firm believer of getting good advice from good sources. People will always try to tell you what they think is best for you, but make sure they have accomplished the goal that you are looking to achieve. It’s perfectly fine to reach out to third parties and find out what options you have.
4. Map Out Your Game Plan
Now, it’s time for action. If you need help with student loans, Navient, Nelnet, Direct Loans, and USDOE have many payment plans and some as low as $5/month to get the ball rolling and gain momentum. If you need help improving your Credit Score or Report, make sure they are Certified FICO Professionals. This means they have been trained by the company that actually makes the FICO Credit Score. I actually may know a guy 🙂
The Bottom Line
If you are looking to purchase a home, lower your car payment, or simply improve your current credit situation, then you must talk about both of your credit scores and reports. Don’t be like some married couples who never map out a plan to turn those dreams into realities. Credit is important and it’s a part of the life process. If you don’t address those issues now, you will always pay higher interest rates and always have a landlord.
 
 
Calvin Russell Jr is a Certified FICO Professional, Approved Partner With Bankrate, and the CEO & Founder of GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation. GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation is a Chicago based Credit Repair Company. GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation has helped hundreds of people increase their credit scores, qualify for homes, cars, and lower interest rates with their personal, Step-By- Step Game Plans. Contact us today to learn more at 708.629.1717 or email us at info@gosimplypro.com

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Home Single Spiritual Intimacy

7 Truths about God to know as a Single

people, race, ethnicity and portrait concept - happy african american young woman with open arms in summer park

I have a confession to make: I had a dramatic moment the other day when I let my circumstances get the best of me. “I feel like I’m going to be single forever!” I thought to myself. You know how they go – those pity-party, woe-is-me, depressing moments.
However, as I allowed my mind to go there for a second, my heart screamed – but that is not the nature of God! He is not One who neglects prayer, promises, or the desires of our heart. As I allowed that truth to counter the frustration I was feeling, I began to realize the significance of knowing God’s heart and filtering my thoughts through that. Here are some important truths I came up with about who God really is:
He is…

  1. One who answers prayers


1 John 5:14-15 says “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” If God designed us with a desire to be married (Psalms 139:13-16), and also created marriage, then unless we’ve been given the gift of celibacy…it is His will for us to get married. If it is His will for us to get married, then when asking for it is according to His will, all that’s left is for us to know that He hears us!
2. One who exceeds expectations
Ephesians 3:20-21 states, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…” He not only is a God that answers our prayers, He is a God that exceeds them! That means that we can expect Him to surpass our understanding of how He operates in our lives.
3. One who guards our hearts
It’s possible that the reason you are still single is because the Lord is protecting your heart in the process of preparing you to be a husband or a wife. In 2 Timothy 1:12, Paul talks about how he is “convinced that He is able to guard that which he has entrusted to Him.” If you have entrusted your heart to God, do you believe that He will guard it? Can you recognize His involvement in your relationships or lack of relationships as Him guarding your heart? Sometimes it’s difficult to separate our emotions from the reality of that truth, but if we can rise above our circumstances, we can see God for who He really is – a protective, caring Friend and Father.
4. One who fulfills promises
When Abraham was given an impossible promise, he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised.’ (Romans 4:21). In Hebrews 6:13-15, it says that “When God made His promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants. And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.” In those moments when you feel hopeless about your situation, remember that you are not the first to face a seemingly-impossible promise! If God has fulfilled that type of promise before, He will certainly do it again.
5. One who prepares us
God is a good Father. A good father wouldn’t put his child into a situation that they aren’t ready for. You may still be single because He is preparing you for marriage. 2 Peter 3:9 – “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” What if He cares so deeply about the quality of your marriage that He won’t allow you to enter that season until you’re ready (ready by His [all-knowing, wise, understanding, preeminent] definition, not yours)
6. One who doesn’t disappoint us
Romans 9:33 says, “Behold, I lay in Zion a Stone of stumbling and a Rock of offense, and he who believes in Him will not be disappointed.” Psalm 22:5 says that “To You they cried out and were delivered; in You they trusted and were not disappointed.” If we’re feeling disappointed, my guess is that God isn’t finished with His work in our situation yet.
6. One who gives us the desires of our hearts
The famous verse, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart,” (Psalm 34:7) is important for singles to know and believe. It’s also important to know that if you’re waiting for Him to give you the desires of your heart, He may be calling you into deeper intimacy with Him. The phrase “take delight in the Lord” implies that our joy needs to be rooted in Him, not in people, things, talents, etc. Once that occurs, we can trust that He will fulfill dreams and desires.
Being single can have its ups and downs, as does any season of life. However, if we choose to let the truths of who God is define our view of our situation, then we are bound to be filled with hope and joy, no matter the circumstance!

Categories
Communication Dating/Courting Engaged Home

2 Ways To Be Content With Your Mate

Flirting young African American woman pursing her lips for a kiss and caressing the face of a handsome man in glasses as they enjoy a date together

with Culus Williams
We live in a time when people desire microwave results in every situation even in our courting season. We have little, to no patience and we are anxious for everything.
When God blesses us with a mate we want instant perfection and totally forget that we ourselves aren’t perfect beings. When conflict arises in our courting season, we are ready to the throw in the towel and walk away. Wait a second! Did you forget that Jesus tells us in John 16:33 that in this world you will have trouble?! Yes, even in your dating season you will have trouble that arises.
It’s hard to be content with what you have when trouble is boiling in the pot. There are a couple of ways that I use to remain content in the midst of trouble.

  1. Pray about it

When conflict arises in your relationship pray to the Lord to help you resolve the issue. Often when conflict arises we try to resolve it ourselves and continue to add fuel to the fire. Go to God and seek his understanding on how to handle the situation. Pray about everything and be anxious for nothing. When we are anxious for instant conflict resolution we often miss the lesson that God is trying to teach us. Sometimes we need to learn how to handle conflict in a healthy way which is God’s way.
 

  1. Remember the time

Sometimes we get upset with our mates about something that they have said or done. We are tired of discussing the issue with them and feel that it’s easier to leave and not deal with it. Michael Jackson has a song titled, “Remember the Time” Do you remember when you first fell in love with your boo? Do you remember when you first met? Do you remember the times they made you laugh or brightened up your day? Take time to reflect on the good times, instead of the right now situation.
Paul tells us in Philippians 4:12-13 that he knows what it is to stand in need and to have plenty. He learned the secret of being content in every situation. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Yes, the secret is out of the bag, we have to be content in Christ Jesus. Knowing that no matter what we are facing that Jesus is our strength and we will make it through the situation.
You may be standing in need of peace in your relationship but know that if you look to Jesus that he will give you peace in the midst of the storm. Reflect on when your relationship was full of laughter, joy and peace and know that the sun will shine again. Be content with what God has given you and be willing to put in the work to make it last forever.
 
 
 

Categories
Communication Home Marriage

Remember Who Your Real Enemy Is

Serious couple talking in home interior. Focus on woman
I can’t tell you how many times these simple words have prevented my wife and I from getting into huge fights. This phrase is derived from the “Hunger Games” movie series, which my wife and I are huge fans! Without going into too many details, (in case some of you may not have watched the movies yet), I want to share a profound thought that I believe will truly bless you as you are solidifying the foundation of who you will be as a spouse. Whether you are single, engaged, or newly wed, this idea can transform the whole way you view disagreements with your significant other.
The point of the games is to kill all of the other participants without getting killed by the dangerous environment that surrounds you and just before beginning her second round in the Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen, main character of the story, gets a bit of sound advice from her coach. He tells her, “remember who your real enemy is“. Her coach was communicating to her that no matter how great the opposition may feel at times while in that arena, her real enemy was the reason they were all in there fighting to the death in the first place. They go on to form an intricate plan on how to be successful by coming together and using each of their strengths to defeat the game-makers once and for all.
It doesn’t take very long before plans begin to change, obstacles begin to present themselves from all angles, and the team is in for the fight of their lives. Now, faced with the decision of her life, Katniss  has to decide between following her instincts and eliminating all opposition or trusting the plan and following through with her teammates. And just before she is about to send an arrow through the heart of one of her teammates, he yells to her, “REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS!” It is at that moment that she stops, contemplates for a while, and then carries out the plan, trusting her teammates, temporarily defeating the enemy.
This revelation hit me like a ton of bricks when I first heard it. We all have a real enemy and the Bible teaches us that he’s on the prowl looking for any crack in the foundations of our marriage so that he can slip in and tear us apart. Now, every time we begin to have a disagreement, no matter how large things may flare up in the moment, like Katniss, I stop, think before I speak, and remind my self to “Remember who your real enemy is”.
At no point is my lovely bride ever my enemy! Even when the devil tries to twist her words and use our insecurities to drive a wedge between us, she is my life mate and I’m committed to loving her and living our forever together. It doesn’t keep us from having disagreements, but it does keep us from getting distracted by the enemy’s attacks and attempts to force us to turn on one another.
These words have forever changed the way my wife and I have disagreements and I truly believe whether you’re married or plan to get married someday, keeping this simple yet profound statement in your utility tool belt will help you kick the voice of satan to the curb for good by identifying him as the real enemy.

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

2 Myths Christian Single’s Must Stop Believing About Relationships

Shy woman and man sitting on sofa couch next each other. First date. Attractive girl and handsome guy meeting dating and trying to talk. Male touching picking up female. Instagram filtered.

There are many people I could blame for the establishing of certain myths that Christians have now embraced as expectations for marriage. A myth is anything that is an idea that is WIDELY held, but false.   It is so important when desiring to meet the right one for you that you have the right mindset to help you be successful in not only meeting, but eventually getting married.
 
These are 2 myths that I have heard taught strongly whether it be through social media posts, sermons, books, and we can’t forget romantic movies.
 
 
Lets start with the most important one.
 

  1. God has only one person for you to marry.

 
My background is in biblical studies with my major being in systematic theology. I have a strong passion for the Word of God, and also for the correct teaching of God’s Word. But, no where in scripture do we see the validation that there is only one person for you to marry. In fact if you examine this concept from the right angle it will all make sense.
 
If there were only one person for you to marry, then that means you have one chance to get it right. Last time I checked, God has taken many of my not so good decisions and turned them for His good according to Romans 8:28.
 
And, lets just for fun say you do make a mistake and marry the “wrong” person that God didn’t have specifically for you, then now your children are illegitimate. Your children’s children are illegitimate. You’ve basically just thrown off the entire universe because you married the “wrong” person.
 
Now, lets add to it. What happens if the one person God has for you marries someone else before you meet? Does that mean you must be single for forever because that person married to soon?
 
The goal isn’t to find the one person, but to find the best person that is suitable for you and your future. The reality is there are MANY people out there that could be suitable for you that God would approve of.
 
 

  1. God chooses your spouse.

 
The first account of marriage we see in the Word of God is Adam and Eve.
 
In Genesis 2:22-23 it states, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man”.
 
The process of Adam and Eve coming into covenant was 2 steps. First God created her, then Adam CHOSE her. We do not see God saying to Adam, “HEY ADAM HERE SHE IS” or, “ADAM THAT’S HER”. But, we do see God presenting her to Adam, and then Adam CHOOSING HER.
 
Yes, 100% God needs to be a part of the process, but He has given us principles in His Word to help us choose a suitable mate.   Who you choose to marry should be a very conscious decision made with counsel from leaders, friends, and the peace of Holy Spirit. Do not choose someone because it just feels right, or because you had a dream about you two being together and immediately think God gave you the dream.
 
These two myths are MAJOR in the Christians journey for how they approach dating and relationships. Once you stop believing there is only person for you to marry and that the choice is not yours then it will truly free you to get to know people without the pressure of missing it or getting it wrong.
 
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Single

10 Signs You Have a Soul Tie and How to Break Them

There are many different kinds of soul ties some healthy and others unhealthy. For the sake of this article, I will be concentrating on the unhealthy soul ties that are formed in romantic relationships before marriage. Humans are what we call “triune beings”, they are made of soul, spirit, and body. Our souls are the seat of our will, emotions, and intellect. Before marriage,our souls should be connected to  the spirit of God as people who are believers. That means our will , emotions and intellect should be guided by the spirit of God. After marriage, our soul should be connected to our mate and the Holy Spirit. God initially designed a soul tie within marriage so that couples could walk as one. However, if a person becomes emotionally and sexually entangled with someone before marriage, they create a soul tie that is unhealthy.
Here are some clues you have a soul tie:

  1. Your mood shifts based on their presence or absence.
  2. They are constantly on your mind.
  3. You have difficulty making decisions without that person’s input or approval.
  4. You always consider the person’s reaction or thoughts when you are making decisions.
  5. You stalk them on social media
  6. You cannot stop seeing them or having sex with them
  7. You stay with them even if the relationship is unhealthy
  8. You stay with them despite family and friend’s protest
  9. You think about them sexually even after you are married to someone else
  10. You are willing to do ANYTHING to make the relationship work.

Here are some spiritual steps to take in order to start the process of breaking a soul tie:  

  1. Acknowledge you have a soul tie
  2. Confess it to the Lord
  3. Renounce the relationship with that person
  4. Come out of agreement with anything you did with that person
  5. Make a declaration to walk forward with God.
  6. Get deliverance prayer if needed.

In addition to these spiritual steps, you will need to do practical things like get rid of their number, move, or change your number, etc.

Categories
Finances Home Marriage

How "No-Spending Weekends" Saved My Marriage

Young Couple In Pajamas Watching Television Together

Guest Writer: Craig Bailey
Dinner $80…parking $15…movie night at home PRICELESS. Today it’s easy for couples to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. With so much going on, you and your mate can fall into the trap of feeling like you have to go out and spend money entertaining yourselves every weekend. What started as a money saving experiment, ended up helping my wife and I remember what matters most.
 
The experiment was a no-spending weekend. About a year later we still try to have one of these once a month. Living in Los Angeles a weekend out can add up quickly and after realizing we were spending almost $300 every weekend, we decided to try and go one weekend without spending any money.
 
Let me be clear — this means no debit card, no checks are written, no credit cards are used, nothing. We would buy groceries or gas during the week so we wouldn’t have to buy those things on the weekend. We would check our schedules to make sure the weekend we picked made sense. Then we were all set.
 
Initially, it was tough trying to think of ways to fill our time that didn’t cost money, but eventually we got the hang of it. We did things like play dominoes (I always won), watch movies, read together, exercise, cook together and go to the beach. What was more surprising than saving thousands of dollars was the impact it had on our relationship.
With work, school, friends, commuting and ME-time it didn’t leave much room for sincere quality time with my wife. Instead of us spending our time in loud restaurants or on congested freeways, we spent more time together alone. Now, we laugh more. We talk more. We spend more time getting closer to God. The indirect results have been absolutely amazing. These no-spending weekends have truly been a blessing in disguise. I encourage all couples to try this in your relationships. You and your spouse will love the results it has on your relationship, in addition to what it will do for your bank account.
 
 
About Craig Bailey:

I am the founder and creator of financialseeds.net.  I am the President and Chief Financial Officer of Green Financial Solutions, a Beverly Hills, CA based financial planning firm.  I am a licensed investment adviser and registered Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA) member.

My firm’s exclusive Steady Growth investment portfolio had at return of just under 24% for 2014.  (Source: Motif Investing)  And I am blessed to get the opportunity to serve individuals on their financial journeys.  I must admit my greatest accomplishment is marrying my beautiful wife who I met in seventh grade.

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Home Marriage

The 2 Ways Being an Proverbs 31 Wife Impacts Your Husband

The wife and husband have breakfast together in his kitchen.

Before you got married you had to have prayed to God to help make you a Proverbs 31 woman and you may have even vowed to be a Proverbs 31 Woman to one special man.
 
Some of those main qualities we find in a Proverbs 31 woman include:

  1. Her Faith in God.
  2. Her relationship with her Husband.
  3. Her mothering towards her children.
  4. Her care for her health.
  5. Her ability to serve.
  6. How she takes care of finances.
  7. How she works with her hands.
  8. How she takes care of the home.
  9. How she uses her time wisely.
  10. How she is a woman of beauty and excellence.

It is awesome when a woman is setting herself to be the woman of her man’s dreams which I can tell you now, any man would love a woman who embodies at least half of those qualities mentioned in Proverbs 31.
 
But, what I would like to tackle today is what impact does it have upon a man when his wife is striving to be the Proverbs 31 each day. This is important because it will encourage you to in knowing that your husband needs you to be striving to grow just like you need him to strive to grow.
 

  1. It makes him feel respected.

When I come home from work each day and my wife, who stays at home with our brand new 2 month old, not only has the baby sleep but the house cleaned and in order, I automatically feel a sense of respect and value.
Now, it’s not like this each day, but she has the desire that every time I come home from work for me to come home to peace and order. This causes me to want to work harder for her to make sure she has everything she needs to continue operating in her role during this season of our lives.
Which quality of being a Proverbs 31 woman causes your husband to feel respected? Maybe you work full time too, so it could be helping manage the finances or even managing the schedule for the family. Find out what your husband values, do it, and I guarantee when he feels respected it will cause him to go the extra mile in everything he does. There is nothing greater for a husband than to know he is loved and respected by his family.
 

  1. It will challenge him to be your Ephesians 5 Husband.

Your husband needs to be challenged because you are co-laborers together which means there are times when he is down and you will pick him up and there are times when you are down and he picks you up. No spouse is perfect and always okay. When you are striving to be the Proverbs 31 woman that will challenge your husband to be the Ephesians 5 husband he has the ability to be.
The Ephesians 5 husband is a man who leads his family well and sets an example as the head of the home. But although he may be the head, the wife is the body. They must work together as a team. This is not a challenge to make someone feel less than, but a challenge in order for one to see how great and necessary they really are. This is very attractive to your husband when you tell him how amazingly powerful he is.
I encourage you to look at that list of the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman and assess which qualities you could strive to be better at in order to help your husband feel respected or to even challenge him in a healthy way to lead your home like he was created to.  Also, be sure to pray each day that God would cause these qualities to become a part of your nature so you do them without even thinking.

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Home

4 Powerful Prayers to Rescue You Out of Loneliness, Despair, and Depression

Black woman crying outdoors

The year was 2011, it was my 1st year moving to Chicago after graduating college. I was sitting in my apartment, having a complete pity party. I had left my family, friends, and all I knew back in Louisiana to pursue after God’s will for my life to become a pastor. I also was newly single after just ending a 2 year relationship.
For the first real time I honestly felt alone. I remember immediately looking out my window and saying to God, “I need you right now.”
The feeling of loneliness is a serious deal and it’s the Enemies way to rob you of the rewards and joy of your present season. Loneliness can quickly turn into depression if not dealt with immediately. Here are 4 Scriptures along with prayers that will help RESCUE you out of loneliness, despair, and depression.
Deuteronomy 31:6 declares, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified become of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. Father we thank you that you have given me the strength to be strong and courageous. I believe you that your Word says for me not to be terrified for you are with me. I declare that I am not lonely for your presence is with me right now.
Psalm 27:10, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” Father I thank you that no matter who comes into or leaves my life that you I will not be moved. I don’t live my life for the praise of man, but I live my life for the praise of God. I thank you that I find my security in you.
Psalm 25:16, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” God, I ask now for an overflow of your powerful presence that has the ability to heal my heart from the roots of depression and loneliness. I declare that I am a child of God who has been bought with a price. I declare that every demon that’s been sent to torment, harass, and oppress me must FLEE in Jesus name. I stand in the authority given to me by Jesus Christ.
Isaiah 43:1-5, “Do not be afraid. I will save you. I have called you by name—you are mine. When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you. For I am the Lord, your God….because you are precious to me and because I love you and give you honor, do not be afraid-I am with you!”.
Father I believe your Word. I believe that you will save me. I believe no matter how bad my situation gets that you will not let it destroy me. I believe that I am precious to you. I believe that you love me and have a purpose for my life that exceeds my wildest imaginations. I believe that my future is bigger than what I feel at this present moment. Amen!

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

5 Clues You've Met a Keeper

357410

Singles, as I always say love should not be complicated and it should not be too difficult. While most people will not know on the first date if  they’ve met their match, there are definitely some signs you have met a keeper.  Here are some signs that show that someone is into you on the first date.

  1. They are On Time – Whether they are picking you up or you are the one picking them up, most people will make a real effort to be where they need to be. Even if you have agreed to meet somewhere. Because we want to make a good impression most people will do everything they can to be ready or where they need to be.
  2. For Women- The guy opens your doors, pulls out your seat, lets you order first. Basically, he puts your needs before his needs. That Guy is a keeper.
  3. They Want to Know about You– If a person is constantly talking about themselves, they are either nervous or just not that into you. A person that is a keeper will be more interested in learning about you. They will ask questions and listen intently.
  4. They Freely Talk about God- For Christians, the only thing God asks of us in our dating relationships is that we be equally yoked if you meet someone who is passionate about their walk with God, and is interested in your walk with the lord. They are a keeper.
  5. They Talk about the Future– If someone is able to share their vision as to where they hope to be in several years and their plan includes marriage, they may be a keeper, you do not ever want to date someone who does not have marriage in mind. You will be dating for a long time.

Remember to be constantly checking in with the Holy Spirit, he has given you the gift of discernment, discernment is not only to pick up bad things but also good things.