The number one thing that destroys relationships is unmet expectations, many couples begin dating and even get married assuming their spouse knows what they need and how to fulfill those needs. As I always tell couples, “the other person is not a mind reader” you will get out of your relationship what you put into it.
It is very important at the beginning of the relationship to express your expectations and for your partner to as well, if you feel that your partner’s expectations are too much, you can then decide if this is a relationship you want to invest your time in.
Below are some expectations that need to be discussed early on in the relationship so that you guys are on the same page.
1. How often you will communicate
Some individuals enjoy talking all day, every day while others need a couple days rest and then connect again. Often times this is based on personality as well as schedule, in the early phases of relationship the euphoria makes one feel invincible, but after a month or so, most people realize they still have a life to live and cannot be up day and night talking on the phone. Set clear expectations about how often you would like to communicate and when.
2. How often you will see each other and where
Just as in phone communication One person may need more quality time than another, this is something that needs to be revisited as seasons change as well.
Never assume you know your partner 100 percent, their needs change as seasons change. Discuss how often you will see each other and even where.
3. Relationship with family and friends
When people come from different backgrounds they may have a difficult time understanding each other’s expectations around family and friends.
Discuss how you expect the other to relate to your family and friends and vice a verse. Be willing to learn the other person’s culture and background. Do not be afraid to share what you do not understand or concerns you may have.
4. Expectations about the dating/courtship process
This is so important, after you have decided to pursue each other in courtship for the purpose of marriage. That initial conversion needs to include how long the courtship will be, the steps you will take to get to marriage and each person’s role.
Once again seek council from people who have walked this road before as well as mentors. Don’t just assume that the steps you guys have decided on well work for both of you. Work hard to be in agreement about the process and the steps that need to take place.
Clear expectations clear up confusion, and allow each person to feel safe in the relationship because they now the other person has their best interest in mind.
Category: Home
After about 6 months of being married, I realized something that I pray every unmarried person will take very serious. Every second I spent before I said I do, was preparation for marriage. All the things I accomplished and all the things I failed to do contributed to my present day marriage. Before I married, I was a huge proponent for preparing for marriage. But now that I am married, I cannot stress how important it is to prepare for the covenant that changes everything.
When I teach on this, the first response is, “Well, I don’t have anyone to date to prepare for marriage.” Dating is not the only way to prepare for marriage and also can be very dangerous if not done God’s way.
Here are a 25 ways to prepare for marriage other than dating.
- Healthy friendships with the opposite sex.
- Get a roommate. (same sex)
- Spend time with a married couple that inspires you to be married.
- Learn how to cook. (Poor eating habits are very unattractive and destructive to yourself.)
- Establish the foundation of God’s purpose for your life.
- Read books on marriage.
- Attend conferences on preparing for marriage and relationships.
- Identify your strengths and weaknesses in relationships.
- Establish a consistent prayer & devotional life.
- Get financial intelligence.
- Go to college.
- Examine the good and bad of your parent’s marriage.
- Serve at your local church.
- Learn how to deal with conflict with your friends.
- Go on a mission trip to another country with a team.
- Take faith risks for God to break fear and learn obedience.
- Examine all your failed friendships and see why things went sour.
- Keep your home/room/closet/car clean. (No one wants a dirty spouse)
- Get a hobby.
- Become a glass house for your close friends. (Transparency as a normal part of your life.)
- Ask your “real” friends what are areas of your character need development every 3-6 months.
- Learn when to say yes, and when to say NO. (self control)
- Work hard. (if you don’t want to marry a lazy person, then don’t be lazy yourself)
- Develop a healthy lifestyle.
- Get a biblical understanding of the role of a husband and wife in a Godly marriage.
I have been married for almost 5 months now. In this short time frame, I have learned a lot about my husband, my marriage, and myself. I want to share the top three things I’ve learned and am still learning everyday since being married with hopes of it helping you in your marriage or future marriage as well.
1. Communication. Communication. Communication.
This is very cliché but a very important aspect of marriage that we can’t ignore. We MUST communicate. First, I’ve learned to communicate about everything, even the things I may find trivial. From how our day was to our deepest fears and desires, we should communicate it with our spouse.
Secondly, I have learned we definitely have to communicate about our emotions and feelings. We can’t expect our spouse to know how we feel unless we express it to him/her. I mean your husband isn’t a mind reader. When something is wrong, say so.
Don’t make him guess and assume. The issue will never be resolved if it isn’t brought to the table. Most importantly, I have learned we must communicate respectfully and with love especially during times of conflict and disagreement
2. Comparison Kills.
It is so easy to compare our marriage with another couple’s marriage, especially due to social media. We see snippets of the good in another marriage, and we begin to think that they have the perfect marriage and perfect life together.
We think that they have a great marriage, and it very well might be, but we only see the good. Most people won’t air their dirty laundry on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. We don’t know the struggles that they are facing behind closed doors.
We just see that her husband surprised her with a dozen roses or a weekend getaway, and then we begin to wish our husband was more like him. I’ve learned comparing your marriage to someone else’s will rob you from experiencing the beauty in your own.
3. Choose your battles. Forgive Often & Quickly.
I’ve learned everything doesn’t need to end in an argument. You shouldn’t be mad everyday because you haven’t gotten over something he did a week ago. God gives us grace and mercy daily. We should extend that same grace and mercy to our spouse, whether we feel he deserves it or not. Holding on to that grudge will hurt you more than it will hurt your spouse.
Not forgiving your spouse leads to resentment, anger, and bitterness. Love is a choice. Forgiveness is a choice. Choose love. Choose to forgive. Let go. Give it to God. He can fix the situation better than we can. And remember praying will bring about the change you want to see faster than nagging ever can.
As we look at this generation, it is simply AMAZING to see all the connectivity that is happening every single day! You can literally be connected to people all across the world each and every day, thanks to the great invention of social media.
Before I move forward, please understand I am NOT bashing social media. I thoroughly enjoy the benefits of social media more than most because it allows me to share my story with the world. It lets the world see what God is doing in my life every day.
However, some time back, I had to embrace a harsh reality in my own life. Please allow me to be completely transparent, as I believe this will bring hope and healing to many men reading this article. The reality for me was this simple, but disturbing fact: I did not know how to genuinely “be” in real relationships with people.
I mean, think about it. Some would see me and see (through social media) that I am somewhat well known in certain parts of the country. With that being said, I realized that a lot of people knew of me or knew about me but nobody really KNEW me.
This may sound somewhat generic to you, seeing as how most of our social media followers do not really KNOW us either. For me however, it was a little deeper than that. The people that are supposed to be closest to me knew me to an extent, but I couldn’t honestly say that they really KNEW me. The type of relationship I am referring to is the Jonathan and David relationship. This particular relationship is the type that exposes itself to each other.
The Bible explains that when these two made a covenant/commitment to each other, Jonathan began to take off all of his clothes and give them to David because he “loved him like he loved himself.” Jonathan exposed himself to David as he became vulnerable after the covenant. As a man, do you have anyone that you are in covenant with and can expose yourself to?
Singleness is a time of preparation for when God does actually bring a helpmate into your life. So right now, during your singleness, do you allow anybody to really KNOW you? Are you waiting on God to bring that woman into your life so that she can be the one to KNOW you? Being vulnerable and exposed is a discipline and a practice.
If you do not have that in your life now, what makes you think you will have it when you are in a committed relationship? In fact, I would caution any woman getting in a relationship with a man to examine his relationships with leadership and with other men. Does anybody really KNOW him? Men, women should not be the only ones that really KNOW us.
My encouragement for men in this article is that you would come out of that cave and allow other people in your life to KNOW you. Not the social media you, but the real you with flaws and mistakes. Endure this process now before you enter a relationship with a woman.
Does anybody have the right or position to speak into your life, discipline you, or correct you? My prayer is that when your season comes, and God sends a woman to be in covenant with you, that you will be able to be intimate and vulnerable with them because you have already experienced real intimacy with leaders and brothers before that moment. Expose yourself today and allow somebody to really KNOW you.
Husbands, don’t compare yourself to Ryan Gosling’s character in The Notebook. Don’t compare yourself to your father; and especially don’t compare yourself to Don Draper in Mad Men, because the one thing that this group, which includes myself, has in common is that we all fall short as husbands in comparison to the Bridegroom: Jesus Christ.
It doesn’t matter how good or how bad you look when comparing yourself to one of the aforementioned husbands, because when you look at how Jesus loves His bride, you realize that we are all equally unworthy of admiration.
In the book of Ephesians, Paul told the husbands in Ephesus to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”1
I believe that as husbands we love our wives, and I’m sure we would give up our lives for them. But as romantic as this pledge of laying down your life for your wife sounds, the act of giving yourself up for your bride begins much sooner.
You don’t just tell your wife that you’ll lay down your life for her during your wedding day, but you prove it to her the day after your wedding day, and until the last day you are together. But what does giving yourself up look like?
When wondering what it looks like to “give [yourselfup for her,” look to Christ. Jesus was someone who spoke of his love for people, but he also proved his love for them. We see this when we read that Jesus “came not to be served, but to serve.”2
Husbands, are you a servant? Or do you expect to be served? If the latter, may I suggest looking to the humbleness of Christ. He is God, but out of love for His people, he humbled himself and served them. He went as far as washing their feet! And this was at a time when sweat resistant socks and Nike’s were not available. And here I am, struggling to rub my wife’s feet. If you are honest with yourself, you will see how miserably you have failed. You may have done some good, and for that I encourage you to continue, but husbands, we are all a work in progress. We all fall short of Christ’s example.
So what do we do; do we sit around drowning in a sea of our own self-loathing because we failed as husbands? Of course not! The great thing about Jesus is that because he loves his bride, He gave Himself up for her, and He bought her back from her old master (Sin and Death).
Husbands, we are Christ’s bride, and we are seeing daily how Jesus is a greater husband than we are. In light of this freeing knowledge, the first thing we should do is repent. We repent before the Lord and before our spouse for failing to live up to the call of Ephesians 5:25. After a time of repentance, have a conversation with your spouse. Ask her how she would like to be served, and hopefully you will find ways to serve. It can be washing the dishes, or in my case, even rubbing her feet. Giving up your life for your spouse begins with the little things in life.
When we seek to compare ourselves to someone, that someone should always be Christ. Looking at his life will convict us, motivate us, and will compel us to change. Through that process, your marriage will see growth, Christ will be glorified, and the Gospel will be exemplified. May we continue running this race with endurance for the glory of God, and for the good of our marriages. Soli Deo Gloria.
About the Author:
Eddie Mercado is a Pre-Seminary student at Kuyper College. He serves his church as a worship director, where he leads the local church in worshiping the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost through song. Him and his wife, Hillary, are expecting a child this September. They reside in Grand Rapids, MI.
Would you invest your time, energy or finances into a college program for 2 years knowing you will not be awarded a degree or any form of official certification in the end? Would you agree to consistently pay a car note every month for 3 years and at the end of paying the full cost of the car you have to return it to the dealership?
If not, why would you invest your time, energy and finances into a relationship that has no potential to go any where? It is imperative that you define every friendship, relationship or potential relationship before entering into it. Defining your relationships early will determine if the relationship is worth pursuing or entertaining.
If your relationships are undefined you risk the possibility of not receiving what you need. There will be excessive confusion, miscommunication, and the relationship will most likely not grow or evolve into anything more than what it started out to be.
When relationships are undefined there is no clear agreement between the two persons involved of what is to be expected in the relationship or what are the needs of each person. In this case assumption becomes the foundation of the relationship and one or both people involved at some point becomes hurt or offended due to the lack of defining what they need or expect in the relationship. So how do you successfully define your relationships? Defining your relationship requires communication and for you to ask the right questions. Some key questions to ask are as follows:
“What do you expect out of this relationship?”
“What are your expectations of me?”
“Where would you like to see this relationship go?”
“How were your past relationships?”
“Who are you accountable to?”
“Are you willing to be transparent with me?”
“What are your goals?”
“What are some things that are important to you?”
“How is your commitment level?”
“What are some of your main responsibilities?”
“How is your relationship with God?”
“What are you strengths and weaknesses?”
If you or the other person believes these questions are too invasive, it is a clear indicator you are not ready to handle a relationship. Relationships are meant to be open and transparent. Without honesty, openness and transparency the relationship will never grow or mature. Asking these or similar questions will reveal the heart of the person and their intentions of wanting to pursue you. These questions are important factors in determining if you or the other person have the capacity to entertain a relationship with one another.
If one person in the relationship is not ready for a commitment, asking these questions will expose this issue. It will reveal the posture of their heart concerning relationships and whether or not they are ready and serious about pursuing you. After asking these series of questions (the determination stage is not limited to these few questions) it is important to not make plans to try to “fix” the other person, coach them into agreeing to be committed to you or proceed into a relationship when red flags are present.
Attempting to move forward in a relationship where it is clear that the other person is not ready for a commitment is unwise and a sure indicator the relationship will end in disappointment. It is unhealthy to assume if you invest time, energy, finances or put ‘work” into a person they will become ready. Investing in a relationship with a man or woman who clearly shows signs of not being able to commit or are not interested in anything long term with you is like leasing and investing in a car and at the end of the agreement sending it back to the dealership to be purchased by someone else.
It is a waste of money and time and in the end you start back at square one. Just because you invest in someone does not mean they will grow to love, value, and honor or want to marry you. Asking key questions early on will determine if the person is close to or already positioned to offer you these things. It will always be your choice of whether or not you want to invest in a dead end relationship.
Choose Wisely!
When I was in college I was very active, I played volleyball for HU , Go Pirates!, and I often had to run to class because of my desire to sleep in…who schedules 8 AM classes anyway? So when I graduated, I wanted to avoid anything that was reflective of my need to participate in daily workouts and anxiety induced running to class (we were not allowed to be late for class).
When I moved to Chicago, I set out to reach a personal goal of trying a new pizzeria each weekend so that I can know which one was the best. This goal, although fun and a childhood dream to have as much pizza as possible, had its’ consequences. My new found “grown status” not only gave me independence but I gained 15 plus pounds. The shift from daily physical activity to a sedentary and stressful career along with eating sausage Chicago-style pizza each weekend was not healthy.
One day I read,
1 Corinthians 6:19, “Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, whom you have received [as a Gif\ from God? You are not your own.”
Along with remaining sexually pure, we have to understand that our bodies are used for the service and the dwelling place of the Lord. An overindulgent and unrestrained lifestyle does not allow for us to reflect that we allow the Holy Spirit to live in a healthy and clean temple but one that is sluggish, tired and overweight. I realized that I was not able to become a world changer if I was too tired to serve God’s people. Think about it, most of the work that we are called to do takes physical activity of your body-the temple of the Lord.
Worship leaders, teachers, preachers, missionary workers all need to have physical and mental stamina in order to serve efficiently. I noticed that when I changed my eating habits and increased my workouts, I was able to pray and worship longer allowing me the opportunity to pray for others with accuracy and clarity.
Don’t get me wrong…I am THE first person to post a new food or restaurant that I tried and I love watching food channels to find out about new places to try. Although I encourage new experiences, every night of unhealthy food and abandoning intentional workouts does not help you live a lifestyle reflective of an effective world changer.
Have you noticed that you always see testimonies of people after their weight transformation? What happened during that time frame between unhealthy and healthy? I am currently not at my goal weight but have increased my workouts to activities that I enjoy to reach towards my goal.
You will not lose all your weight within the first two weeks of working out. I know I know…I tried. It seems so easy to gain weight and so difficult to lose. Don’t give up and keep pressing.
Here are a few tips, that I have learned from experience on living a healthy lifestyle:
1. Find a workout that is fun for you!
I was a student-athlete in high school and college, and it eventually became laborious waking up early and I no longer enjoyed what I was doing. I erroneously went completely opposite of working out in the gym and starting exercising the couch and remote. I love to dance and will bop at any chance I get. I recently discovered Zumba Fitness where it is fun without evening noticing the intense workout that I am having.
2. Include Friends and Family for Accountability
Your accountability can celebrate your successes and encourage you during your difficult seasons. It seems like it can take a week to gain 10 pounds and months to lose those same 10 pounds. Have someone around to encourage you will keep you focused on changing your lifestyle.
3. Change your Eating Habits
Avoid excess of processed fatty foods. A few years ago our senior pastors showed a video “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”. After watching this video, we all went out and bought a juicer and threw away every bag of chips, cookies and soda that we had in our home.
It may have been an extreme action but we did not realize how and what we eat can affect our appearance, emotions and ability to focus. I am not a big vegetable eater (something I am working on) but while juicing, I am able to add all the veggies that I need and drink it. Pear, Kale Greens, Spinach and Ginger is a great combo and very tasty.
While in the midst of my personal lifestyle change, I hope this encourages someone to begin to change your daily eating and workout habits to one that is reflective of a world changer and a temple that is reflective of the dwelling place of the Lord.
Categories
Financial Folly: A Husband's Testimony
Growing up I remember hearing my step-father say “Money has a mind of its own”. As a young boy I had no idea what that meant. I knew money could not have a personality because it was not alive so I dismissed it. It was not until I got to college that I began to understand what that statement really meant. At first I thought that money was supposed to be spent. After all, what good is currency that’s not moving right?
So with that, I spent…
I would get…then spend
Get…then spend.
It was so bad that I would spend when I did not have. And I did this constantly, repeatedly, and to no end. I had no clue at the time the pattern I was establishing was problematic, nor did anything alert me otherwise.
I was of the mindset that the financial decisions that I was making would only affect me – again, not at all realizing that there was a bigger picture that included more than just me but my teachings as a child gave my spending habits validity.
Then I got married. Now I was upfront-ish (kinda-sorta) about my financial past. Kira, my wife, knew about my financial past in part, but I had not informed her about how and why my financial past was the way it was.
That was a BIG mistake because telling only a portion of the truth is still a whole lie! We discussed finances and agreed to having a joint account. We decided we did not want any separation in our financial life; after all, the two have now become one! We even agreed that Kira would handle the finances because she’s a better money manager than I am.
Let’s pause here. I know that’s not the popular thought. We (men) are inadvertently taught that the man should make and control the money. My abstention to that is, what if the man doesn’t have that skill…or not as strong as his wife? Is the family supposed to head to a financial hell? But I digress…
I thought I was doing ok. We agreed on the finances, so all should be well!!! WRONG!!!!!
The one thing that I never addressed was my mindset; specifically, the seed that was planted about money having a mind of its own. It honestly was not until I began to write this post that I realized where my thoughts and processes of mismanagement arose. Money does not have a mind of its own— Instead, it takes on the mind of its owner!
My selfishness showed up in my money management. Battles with control, manipulation, and ego reared their head in this area too. The money did not have its own mind, so it personified the characteristics that I still had in me. Thankfully, we are no longer in this place AND our financial health is strong!!! HALLELUJAH
The truth is there is no glory in not enjoying all the fruits of marriage because of personal preference and choice. I realize, neither myself, my marriage or our finances could become stronger until I recognized and put to death my philosophy on money, told my wife with the whole truth, and came up with a resolution.
My closing encouragement for husbands and wives is to self-asses where you are mentally and emotionally as it relates to finances and address with your spouse any hurdles that should be known upfront or come about. This, I know, makes a huge difference in establishing peace in the home!
Categories
You the Man
You the Man
You’re the provider
You’re the protector
You are to love her, never neglect her
Follow The Lord
Obey His Word
It is a guide as well as a sword
This life is real, you can’t do it alone
When it get’s real, just look to the throne
My God is faithful, He’s always there
Jehovah Jireh hears your prayers
Don’t fret my friend, for a friend He is
When you’re Spirit led, you’re one of His kids
Put God at the center
Let Him be your mentor
For He gives such great advise
Get to know Him well He’s real nice
Try not to worry when it get’s blurry
Just be patient, He’ll make it clear
Seek His face He’ll draw you near
Take His hand
Follow His plan
He’s ordered your steps, for you the man
In the last 2 years of my life, which have included marriage, motherhood, ministry, and marketplace, I have learned that balance is not achievable, but there is a way to do all four. I have been in ministry for 15 years, married for two years, a mother for one year, and a business owner for 9 months. Is it difficult yes, but I believe it is doable. Today, I will share the 7 most important things I have learned about each of these areas and how I balance them. Most people ask me “how do you do it,” and my answer is chaotically but gracefully. A lot of people have ideas about what a life full of marriage, ministry, motherhood, and business looks like. But the truth is, you really don’t know until you get there. When I was pregnant I took 5 months off and that was incredibly hard for this busy beaver, but it was really important to recognize the necessity in doing so. That leads me to my first point:
- I have learned that every season and every role is important and sacred. I do not rush through taking care of or being with my son to get to the next task even though I want to sometimes. When I do, I just get frustrated and I rob myself of precious time that could be spent with him. So with that lesson learned I began to work around his naps and when he goes to bed. There are many times I still get frustrated trying to answer emails while he is pulling on my dress or asking to play, but nowadays I catch myself and let whatever I am doing go and give him my attention. I have learned that sometimes I can only do one thing at a time and that is fine. I have learned not to feel guilty for putting my work aside and playing with my baby. I know as I honor my role as a mother, God will honor me as a work at home mom. Raising my baby is just as important as making the money to contribute to my family. It helps that my husband is in graduate school and has several classes at night, which allows me to work and then focus on him when he returns. That leads me to point two.
- Manage your time wisely. When you are in multiple roles time can be your best of friend and the worst of friend. Learn to categorize things in your head and write down a block schedule. Whatever you do, try to have a clear map of how you are going to steward your day. Yes there are always surprises, but try to get back on track as soon as you can. I intentionally work hard to create time for my service to God, my husband, my son, and my career. Create spaces in your schedule and designate chunks of time for each task. Put first things first: Jesus, husband, children, and ministry/work. Sometimes you may feel like you are drowning in water and what you are giving is not enough, but if you do it out of a heart of love, it is enough. Give yourself Grace.
- Everything is not always going to be perfect and that’s okay. Life as a wife and working mother is nothing like the magazines. My house sometimes is not as clean as I would like, my prayer time not as long, my productivity not as much, but I give my best to all I have been given to steward. Do your best and get help. Find a friend who loves to clean, someone who can occasionally watch your baby so you can work, or someone who could plan meals. Plan systems and creative ways to keep your home and life running smoothly. However, the sooner you realize there will be a lot of times where things won’t run smoothly, and the sooner you become okay with that, the happier (more peaceful, settled, content) you and those around you will be. Do not fall under the trap of perfection―do what works for your family. I pray you have a supportive husband, split chores, share in responsibilities and you will be just fine. When you fall short, repent and keep moving. Remember there is always tomorrow.
- Learn to understand the season you are in. I have been very eager to finish writing the books that have been hanging in the balance for awhile now, however book writing requires prolonged moments of quietness which are currently nonexistent in my life. I was so frustrated, until I realized this was not a season for books but for blogs. Using blogs I could still get out what I had to share with the world just in a shorter form. It does not mean I will not write again, it just means it is not a season for novels. Understanding the season I am in helped me release the pressure I was putting on myself. When I was single, or even before the baby, I could “go, go, go,” but seasons have changed and some things will just need to wait. Be realistic with the goals for all areas of your life. What you can do―do it now. What you can’t do now― you can do it later.
- Family first. Since I am on the road quite a bit I decided that I would take my family with me as much as possible. Ministry is family. I do not believe that your calling or assignment ends just because you become a wife or mother. Instead, your calling enlarges and you are given a different sphere of influence. As a woman preacher, my heart is to include my husband and children in the work of the Lord, so much, that it all merges together. Serving Jesus and being a family should just be as normal as breathing. Care first for your husband’s emotional, spiritual, and physical needs, then your children, and then everyone else. This sort of prioritizing will be a model for others to see and follow in a ministry settings. Read the Word and pray with your husband, have family Bible reading times, dream together as a family, and always make God the center of everything. As you honor your commitments to your husband and children, I believe God honors your commitments to those you have been called to serve.
- Have Fun. As tiring and difficult as this season can be for some, it is also wonderful and beautiful. Life is all about perspective. The way we see the world effects what we will receive from it. Look at the not so funny moments of life, and remember you will laugh about them later. Take it easy on your spouse and children. Find time to go on vacations, have family fun nights, and laugh, laugh, laugh. Jesus came so you could have this kind of abundant life. When you want to complain remember there are so many other women who wish they had a husband, children, work, or ministry. Be GRATEFUL. Ungratefulness breads discontentment. Rejoice in who you are, what you have, and where you are going.
- Take care of yourself. This is an area I am working on constantly because my schedule just seems impossible. But now that it is warming up, I take a 20 minute walk with the baby in his stroller twice a day. It is good for him to get out, the mental break helps my creativity, and the walking serves as my exercise for the day. I am very protective of my time. I make sure I spend at least two hours a week watching a movie or favorite show. It is hard for me to put the iPad down, or the phone, but I remind myself that my productivity is based on my level of rest. I get my hair and feet done often, and I really push for those alone times even if it is only several hours a week!
I know I have so much more to learn, but one thing I know is that this is doable. There is no balance, but there is a way. Be all God has called you to be and live a fulfilled life. For a consult on how to balance your life better email me at info@askdoctorfaith.com.