Month: April 2016

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Birds of A Feather Shouldn't Have Bad Credit Together

Worried young African American couple looking through bills online

by Certified FICO Professional Calvin Russell Jr
Lets face it. Talking about finances is a tough conversation to have, especially when you’re married. Married couples bring their money habits together and they try to get on the same page. Saving, splurging on unneeded items, investing, and student loans are all important pieces to the financial puzzle. But, one of the most important pieces that most married couples forget to talk about is Credit.
The main reason why credit is swept under the rug, is because it’s the “Adult Report Card.” Your credit score pretty much grades your financial habits by showing how well you manage your debts. So, how can married couples make this conversation easy you ask? Well, its most definitely going to be short term pain for long term gain. Right now, it may hurt a little to lay it all out on the table. But, the reward of getting everything out in the open helps create a brainstorm of ideas to move in a positive direction.
1. Get Updated Credit Reports For Free
The easiest way to get your credit reports for free is to either go to www.creditkarma.com or www.annualcreditreport.com. Credit Karma will also give you your credit score and reports but, they only offer Equifax and Transunion. To obtain your Experian report, you must go to Annual Credit Report. Laying out both of your credit reports will allow you all to see how much debt exists and the credit situation of your partner in crime. Keep in mind, less than 10% of financial institutions use the Credit Karma score. 90% of lenders use the FICO score. You can get both your score and report for a small fee of $20-$60 at www.myfico.com.
2. Set Your Credit Goals
Many married couples will eventually talk about their goals of leasing an apartment, buying a home, upgrading their cars, or paying off their student loans. The challenging part is turning those goals into action plans. Once both of you see each other’s credit situation, you can begin to see how realistic those goals are.
3. Get Assistance From Great Sources
After being marred for over 5 years myself, I know what it’s like to have people give you their advice. I have aways been a firm believer of getting good advice from good sources. People will always try to tell you what they think is best for you, but make sure they have accomplished the goal that you are looking to achieve. It’s perfectly fine to reach out to third parties and find out what options you have.
4. Map Out Your Game Plan
Now, it’s time for action. If you need help with student loans, Navient, Nelnet, Direct Loans, and USDOE have many payment plans and some as low as $5/month to get the ball rolling and gain momentum. If you need help improving your Credit Score or Report, make sure they are Certified FICO Professionals. This means they have been trained by the company that actually makes the FICO Credit Score. I actually may know a guy 🙂
The Bottom Line
If you are looking to purchase a home, lower your car payment, or simply improve your current credit situation, then you must talk about both of your credit scores and reports. Don’t be like some married couples who never map out a plan to turn those dreams into realities. Credit is important and it’s a part of the life process. If you don’t address those issues now, you will always pay higher interest rates and always have a landlord.
 
 
Calvin Russell Jr is a Certified FICO Professional, Approved Partner With Bankrate, and the CEO & Founder of GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation. GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation is a Chicago based Credit Repair Company. GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation has helped hundreds of people increase their credit scores, qualify for homes, cars, and lower interest rates with their personal, Step-By- Step Game Plans. Contact us today to learn more at 708.629.1717 or email us at info@gosimplypro.com

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Home Single Spiritual Intimacy

7 Truths about God to know as a Single

people, race, ethnicity and portrait concept - happy african american young woman with open arms in summer park

I have a confession to make: I had a dramatic moment the other day when I let my circumstances get the best of me. “I feel like I’m going to be single forever!” I thought to myself. You know how they go – those pity-party, woe-is-me, depressing moments.
However, as I allowed my mind to go there for a second, my heart screamed – but that is not the nature of God! He is not One who neglects prayer, promises, or the desires of our heart. As I allowed that truth to counter the frustration I was feeling, I began to realize the significance of knowing God’s heart and filtering my thoughts through that. Here are some important truths I came up with about who God really is:
He is…

  1. One who answers prayers


1 John 5:14-15 says “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” If God designed us with a desire to be married (Psalms 139:13-16), and also created marriage, then unless we’ve been given the gift of celibacy…it is His will for us to get married. If it is His will for us to get married, then when asking for it is according to His will, all that’s left is for us to know that He hears us!
2. One who exceeds expectations
Ephesians 3:20-21 states, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…” He not only is a God that answers our prayers, He is a God that exceeds them! That means that we can expect Him to surpass our understanding of how He operates in our lives.
3. One who guards our hearts
It’s possible that the reason you are still single is because the Lord is protecting your heart in the process of preparing you to be a husband or a wife. In 2 Timothy 1:12, Paul talks about how he is “convinced that He is able to guard that which he has entrusted to Him.” If you have entrusted your heart to God, do you believe that He will guard it? Can you recognize His involvement in your relationships or lack of relationships as Him guarding your heart? Sometimes it’s difficult to separate our emotions from the reality of that truth, but if we can rise above our circumstances, we can see God for who He really is – a protective, caring Friend and Father.
4. One who fulfills promises
When Abraham was given an impossible promise, he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised.’ (Romans 4:21). In Hebrews 6:13-15, it says that “When God made His promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants. And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.” In those moments when you feel hopeless about your situation, remember that you are not the first to face a seemingly-impossible promise! If God has fulfilled that type of promise before, He will certainly do it again.
5. One who prepares us
God is a good Father. A good father wouldn’t put his child into a situation that they aren’t ready for. You may still be single because He is preparing you for marriage. 2 Peter 3:9 – “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” What if He cares so deeply about the quality of your marriage that He won’t allow you to enter that season until you’re ready (ready by His [all-knowing, wise, understanding, preeminent] definition, not yours)
6. One who doesn’t disappoint us
Romans 9:33 says, “Behold, I lay in Zion a Stone of stumbling and a Rock of offense, and he who believes in Him will not be disappointed.” Psalm 22:5 says that “To You they cried out and were delivered; in You they trusted and were not disappointed.” If we’re feeling disappointed, my guess is that God isn’t finished with His work in our situation yet.
6. One who gives us the desires of our hearts
The famous verse, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart,” (Psalm 34:7) is important for singles to know and believe. It’s also important to know that if you’re waiting for Him to give you the desires of your heart, He may be calling you into deeper intimacy with Him. The phrase “take delight in the Lord” implies that our joy needs to be rooted in Him, not in people, things, talents, etc. Once that occurs, we can trust that He will fulfill dreams and desires.
Being single can have its ups and downs, as does any season of life. However, if we choose to let the truths of who God is define our view of our situation, then we are bound to be filled with hope and joy, no matter the circumstance!

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Communication Dating/Courting Engaged Home

2 Ways To Be Content With Your Mate

Flirting young African American woman pursing her lips for a kiss and caressing the face of a handsome man in glasses as they enjoy a date together

with Culus Williams
We live in a time when people desire microwave results in every situation even in our courting season. We have little, to no patience and we are anxious for everything.
When God blesses us with a mate we want instant perfection and totally forget that we ourselves aren’t perfect beings. When conflict arises in our courting season, we are ready to the throw in the towel and walk away. Wait a second! Did you forget that Jesus tells us in John 16:33 that in this world you will have trouble?! Yes, even in your dating season you will have trouble that arises.
It’s hard to be content with what you have when trouble is boiling in the pot. There are a couple of ways that I use to remain content in the midst of trouble.

  1. Pray about it

When conflict arises in your relationship pray to the Lord to help you resolve the issue. Often when conflict arises we try to resolve it ourselves and continue to add fuel to the fire. Go to God and seek his understanding on how to handle the situation. Pray about everything and be anxious for nothing. When we are anxious for instant conflict resolution we often miss the lesson that God is trying to teach us. Sometimes we need to learn how to handle conflict in a healthy way which is God’s way.
 

  1. Remember the time

Sometimes we get upset with our mates about something that they have said or done. We are tired of discussing the issue with them and feel that it’s easier to leave and not deal with it. Michael Jackson has a song titled, “Remember the Time” Do you remember when you first fell in love with your boo? Do you remember when you first met? Do you remember the times they made you laugh or brightened up your day? Take time to reflect on the good times, instead of the right now situation.
Paul tells us in Philippians 4:12-13 that he knows what it is to stand in need and to have plenty. He learned the secret of being content in every situation. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Yes, the secret is out of the bag, we have to be content in Christ Jesus. Knowing that no matter what we are facing that Jesus is our strength and we will make it through the situation.
You may be standing in need of peace in your relationship but know that if you look to Jesus that he will give you peace in the midst of the storm. Reflect on when your relationship was full of laughter, joy and peace and know that the sun will shine again. Be content with what God has given you and be willing to put in the work to make it last forever.
 
 
 

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Dating/Courting Engaged Marriage Single

What You Need to Know About Finding a Godly Husband

Attractive Afro-American couple using tablet, holding a cup and laughing while sitting on beanbag chairs against brick wall

 
They’re out there. Good men. Godly men. Real men. I know you’ve been burned, disappointed, disillusioned, even discouraged, but don’t be disbelieving. Unfortunately, you don’t hear this from mainstream media. Your wounded friends don’t tell you about the warrior-princes of the Kingdom, either. You may not even hear it from church! Men are either presented in our society as aloof, senseless buffoons, angry control-addicts, or sex-starved animals.
I want to assure you that these caricatures are not representative of Godly men who dream of being married, having children, and changing the world through Christ together. There is more. No, not all men are alike. No, not all men are pigs. As long as the world endures, there will be real men of God.
I hope these five tips will help you in your search for a Godly man:
 1. Pray. Many women I know tell me they have prayed specifically over their husband. They pray for his character, for his development into a man of God, and for overcoming his struggles. They pray over their husbands’ parents, friends, and influences. Some have even prayed for specific features, like hair and eye color! I think this is okay, but don’t get hung up on blue eyes if the Lord brings a brown-eyed man your way, who has the same values and goals as you. It is the heart of a man that God values and no one is more attractive than when the glory of the Lord shines through them (I Samuel 6:17).
2. Go where Godly men are.The truth is, you have to know where to find them. Godly men aren’t lurking in the places that the movies say they are. They aren’t occupying a barstool. They aren’t linking arms with multiple women at the clubs. They aren’t forgetting the name of the last girl from last night’s hookup.
They’re probably on their knees, praying for you.
 Don’t hide in your room and complain about not meeting anyone; go to the places you would want your husband to be found. Be active at church and church events. Bottom line: Godly men are seeking God. Seek God and you will find your husband. Wait on the Lord. I’m not trying to sound simplistic, but that is God’s heart for our lives: Seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
3. Know who you don’t want. Define where your journey with the Lord is taking you, and determine to go there, not being distracted by people who will tie a weight around your ankles and deter you from your journey. Know what kinds of guys are dangerous to your relationship with the Lord. That being said, I have this caution: do not operate in a false spirit of discernment, wrongfully casting judgment on people in the name of “righteousness.” We can judge the fruit of one’s life, but we cannot see hearts. (Matthew 7:16)
4. Have Godly standards. To reiterate point #2, seek Christ yourself. Honor what God honors in a person. Be firmly rooted in your prayer life and Bible reading. Know how a Godly man honors a woman. Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal any ungodly beliefs about Him and males in your life and ask Him to guide you.
5. Get ready. Pray for rain, and then grab your umbrella. Know how to manage finances, and how to manage your soul. Determine what you need to work on in yourself as preparation for merging your life to another human being. Pray, seek, fast. Thank God for who He has prepared for you. Rejoice that God’s ways are perfect!
 
 
 
 
 

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Communication Home Marriage

Remember Who Your Real Enemy Is

Serious couple talking in home interior. Focus on woman
I can’t tell you how many times these simple words have prevented my wife and I from getting into huge fights. This phrase is derived from the “Hunger Games” movie series, which my wife and I are huge fans! Without going into too many details, (in case some of you may not have watched the movies yet), I want to share a profound thought that I believe will truly bless you as you are solidifying the foundation of who you will be as a spouse. Whether you are single, engaged, or newly wed, this idea can transform the whole way you view disagreements with your significant other.
The point of the games is to kill all of the other participants without getting killed by the dangerous environment that surrounds you and just before beginning her second round in the Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen, main character of the story, gets a bit of sound advice from her coach. He tells her, “remember who your real enemy is“. Her coach was communicating to her that no matter how great the opposition may feel at times while in that arena, her real enemy was the reason they were all in there fighting to the death in the first place. They go on to form an intricate plan on how to be successful by coming together and using each of their strengths to defeat the game-makers once and for all.
It doesn’t take very long before plans begin to change, obstacles begin to present themselves from all angles, and the team is in for the fight of their lives. Now, faced with the decision of her life, Katniss  has to decide between following her instincts and eliminating all opposition or trusting the plan and following through with her teammates. And just before she is about to send an arrow through the heart of one of her teammates, he yells to her, “REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS!” It is at that moment that she stops, contemplates for a while, and then carries out the plan, trusting her teammates, temporarily defeating the enemy.
This revelation hit me like a ton of bricks when I first heard it. We all have a real enemy and the Bible teaches us that he’s on the prowl looking for any crack in the foundations of our marriage so that he can slip in and tear us apart. Now, every time we begin to have a disagreement, no matter how large things may flare up in the moment, like Katniss, I stop, think before I speak, and remind my self to “Remember who your real enemy is”.
At no point is my lovely bride ever my enemy! Even when the devil tries to twist her words and use our insecurities to drive a wedge between us, she is my life mate and I’m committed to loving her and living our forever together. It doesn’t keep us from having disagreements, but it does keep us from getting distracted by the enemy’s attacks and attempts to force us to turn on one another.
These words have forever changed the way my wife and I have disagreements and I truly believe whether you’re married or plan to get married someday, keeping this simple yet profound statement in your utility tool belt will help you kick the voice of satan to the curb for good by identifying him as the real enemy.

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

2 Myths Christian Single’s Must Stop Believing About Relationships

Shy woman and man sitting on sofa couch next each other. First date. Attractive girl and handsome guy meeting dating and trying to talk. Male touching picking up female. Instagram filtered.

There are many people I could blame for the establishing of certain myths that Christians have now embraced as expectations for marriage. A myth is anything that is an idea that is WIDELY held, but false.   It is so important when desiring to meet the right one for you that you have the right mindset to help you be successful in not only meeting, but eventually getting married.
 
These are 2 myths that I have heard taught strongly whether it be through social media posts, sermons, books, and we can’t forget romantic movies.
 
 
Lets start with the most important one.
 

  1. God has only one person for you to marry.

 
My background is in biblical studies with my major being in systematic theology. I have a strong passion for the Word of God, and also for the correct teaching of God’s Word. But, no where in scripture do we see the validation that there is only one person for you to marry. In fact if you examine this concept from the right angle it will all make sense.
 
If there were only one person for you to marry, then that means you have one chance to get it right. Last time I checked, God has taken many of my not so good decisions and turned them for His good according to Romans 8:28.
 
And, lets just for fun say you do make a mistake and marry the “wrong” person that God didn’t have specifically for you, then now your children are illegitimate. Your children’s children are illegitimate. You’ve basically just thrown off the entire universe because you married the “wrong” person.
 
Now, lets add to it. What happens if the one person God has for you marries someone else before you meet? Does that mean you must be single for forever because that person married to soon?
 
The goal isn’t to find the one person, but to find the best person that is suitable for you and your future. The reality is there are MANY people out there that could be suitable for you that God would approve of.
 
 

  1. God chooses your spouse.

 
The first account of marriage we see in the Word of God is Adam and Eve.
 
In Genesis 2:22-23 it states, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man”.
 
The process of Adam and Eve coming into covenant was 2 steps. First God created her, then Adam CHOSE her. We do not see God saying to Adam, “HEY ADAM HERE SHE IS” or, “ADAM THAT’S HER”. But, we do see God presenting her to Adam, and then Adam CHOOSING HER.
 
Yes, 100% God needs to be a part of the process, but He has given us principles in His Word to help us choose a suitable mate.   Who you choose to marry should be a very conscious decision made with counsel from leaders, friends, and the peace of Holy Spirit. Do not choose someone because it just feels right, or because you had a dream about you two being together and immediately think God gave you the dream.
 
These two myths are MAJOR in the Christians journey for how they approach dating and relationships. Once you stop believing there is only person for you to marry and that the choice is not yours then it will truly free you to get to know people without the pressure of missing it or getting it wrong.
 
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Single

10 Signs You Have a Soul Tie and How to Break Them

There are many different kinds of soul ties some healthy and others unhealthy. For the sake of this article, I will be concentrating on the unhealthy soul ties that are formed in romantic relationships before marriage. Humans are what we call “triune beings”, they are made of soul, spirit, and body. Our souls are the seat of our will, emotions, and intellect. Before marriage,our souls should be connected to  the spirit of God as people who are believers. That means our will , emotions and intellect should be guided by the spirit of God. After marriage, our soul should be connected to our mate and the Holy Spirit. God initially designed a soul tie within marriage so that couples could walk as one. However, if a person becomes emotionally and sexually entangled with someone before marriage, they create a soul tie that is unhealthy.
Here are some clues you have a soul tie:

  1. Your mood shifts based on their presence or absence.
  2. They are constantly on your mind.
  3. You have difficulty making decisions without that person’s input or approval.
  4. You always consider the person’s reaction or thoughts when you are making decisions.
  5. You stalk them on social media
  6. You cannot stop seeing them or having sex with them
  7. You stay with them even if the relationship is unhealthy
  8. You stay with them despite family and friend’s protest
  9. You think about them sexually even after you are married to someone else
  10. You are willing to do ANYTHING to make the relationship work.

Here are some spiritual steps to take in order to start the process of breaking a soul tie:  

  1. Acknowledge you have a soul tie
  2. Confess it to the Lord
  3. Renounce the relationship with that person
  4. Come out of agreement with anything you did with that person
  5. Make a declaration to walk forward with God.
  6. Get deliverance prayer if needed.

In addition to these spiritual steps, you will need to do practical things like get rid of their number, move, or change your number, etc.

Categories
Finances Home Marriage

How "No-Spending Weekends" Saved My Marriage

Young Couple In Pajamas Watching Television Together

Guest Writer: Craig Bailey
Dinner $80…parking $15…movie night at home PRICELESS. Today it’s easy for couples to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. With so much going on, you and your mate can fall into the trap of feeling like you have to go out and spend money entertaining yourselves every weekend. What started as a money saving experiment, ended up helping my wife and I remember what matters most.
 
The experiment was a no-spending weekend. About a year later we still try to have one of these once a month. Living in Los Angeles a weekend out can add up quickly and after realizing we were spending almost $300 every weekend, we decided to try and go one weekend without spending any money.
 
Let me be clear — this means no debit card, no checks are written, no credit cards are used, nothing. We would buy groceries or gas during the week so we wouldn’t have to buy those things on the weekend. We would check our schedules to make sure the weekend we picked made sense. Then we were all set.
 
Initially, it was tough trying to think of ways to fill our time that didn’t cost money, but eventually we got the hang of it. We did things like play dominoes (I always won), watch movies, read together, exercise, cook together and go to the beach. What was more surprising than saving thousands of dollars was the impact it had on our relationship.
With work, school, friends, commuting and ME-time it didn’t leave much room for sincere quality time with my wife. Instead of us spending our time in loud restaurants or on congested freeways, we spent more time together alone. Now, we laugh more. We talk more. We spend more time getting closer to God. The indirect results have been absolutely amazing. These no-spending weekends have truly been a blessing in disguise. I encourage all couples to try this in your relationships. You and your spouse will love the results it has on your relationship, in addition to what it will do for your bank account.
 
 
About Craig Bailey:

I am the founder and creator of financialseeds.net.  I am the President and Chief Financial Officer of Green Financial Solutions, a Beverly Hills, CA based financial planning firm.  I am a licensed investment adviser and registered Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA) member.

My firm’s exclusive Steady Growth investment portfolio had at return of just under 24% for 2014.  (Source: Motif Investing)  And I am blessed to get the opportunity to serve individuals on their financial journeys.  I must admit my greatest accomplishment is marrying my beautiful wife who I met in seventh grade.

Categories
Communication Marriage

3 Lessons I Learned Early On In My Marriage

In July of this year my husband and I will be celebrating 3 years of marriage. I know a lot of people say that you will not truly experience a marriage “milestone” until you have been married 5 or more years, but I beg to differ. I personally believe that in marriage you will reach many milestones from the moment you say “I Do”. It’s all about your mindset and perspective. I want to share with you three lessons that I have learned thus far!

1. Never Stop Serving Your Spouse: Before I got married I enjoyed hosting events and planning get-togethers with friends and family. It was something about creating an atmosphere that was conducive for great fellowship and conversations. Being a wife now, I see how my desire to serve my family and friends is playing into my passion to do the same for my husband. I know that there can be times where you want to be the one being “served” versus the “one serving”. Yet, once you have settled in your heart that whatever you do for your spouse you are ultimately doing unto the Lord, your whole processing will change and you will find joy in knowing that God is ultimately pleased in what you are doing. Your whole definition and level of serving will grow and your husband and family will receive the benefit! Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you Do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that  you will receive an inheritance from the Lord” 
2. Marriage is about Sacrifice: I did not know how selfish I was until I got married! I thought I was a pretty good catch, I was accustomed to sacrificing certain things as an unmarried woman but not to the extent of what I have experienced thus far in my marriage. I have learned that in marriage it’s not going to be about you all the time and that you have to be willing to lay down your life in order to help your spouse get to his or her destiny and purpose for a season. It does not mean that your destiny or purpose will be delayed, it means that it will be enhanced and enriched even the more because of your willingness to sacrifice and honor your spouse through the journey of their lives. John 15:13-14 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for ones friends. You are my friends if you do what I command”.

3. Have Fun: I am learning that marriage has its ups and downs but the one thing that has the ability to keep your marriage exciting and hopeful is your ability to ENJOY your spouse. I am learning more and more everyday the power of laughter and spontaneous conversations and dates! Don’t forget the reason you married your spouse.  Do not allow the enemy to steal the joy and laughter out of your marriage. If he can steal your hope for the future he can gain access into your marriage. Enjoy your husband or wife and know that in every season you both are growing stronger and wiser together. Proverbs 15:13 “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit”.

I pray these three points encouraged you whether you have been married  a few months or many years! Remember that marriage is a blessing from God and that God desires to receive the glory through your life personally as well as through your marriage. Continue to shine bright!