Author: Heath Stoner
I love clunker cars.
My first clunker car was a 1984 Chevy Chevette. It lasted me a whopping 4 months. It had an oil leak and I didn’t catch it until the engine seized up.
My second clunker was my 1986 Mazda GLC. I always thought the GLC stood for Great Looking Car. That car took me through college. It was so legendary that it took on the name of the Red Baron. That car would not run when it rained and always smelled like a gas station bathroom.
The next clunker I had was a 1994 Honda Accord. I called it the White Legend. That car had so many problems with it–some my own doing. One year I went on a mission trip overseas and left a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper in the front seat in the summer heat of Texas. They exploded. When I returned, I opened the White Legend to find my headliner spotted with harden splotches of Dr. Pepper.
I now own a 2004 Honda Accord. It’s a bona fide clunker. Its nickname is the Silver Bullet. The headliner is shot, the head gasket needs replaced, and the driver side window won’t go down. Every time I open the trunk door, a steady stream of water flows into the bottom of my trunk. Somehow rain gets into a space in the top of the trunk and drains when I open it.
So, here are 4 ways you can know if your marriage is like a clunker
- You treat your wife like a clunker(of course the roles can be reversed in this analogy)
A wise man once told me that women are like a beautiful rose. They are colorful, dazzling, have a great aroma, and are captivating. Men are like the dirt. Very few people ever look at the dirt and say, “Wow, that dirt is incredible. I bet it has all kind of nutrients that help the rose glow the way it does.”
Men, do you purposefully, care for your wife by leading in the ways that she needs you to? When you have a clunker car, you usually don’t care if the paint is chipping or the floors need swept. You don’t go out of your way for it. Do you treat your wife the same way? Does she need your care and attention? Does she need your practical service—maybe to clean the floors or the toilets tonight? If so, do it. And do it without expecting anything in return.
- You speak to your wife like a clunker
My clunker names included the Red Baron, Silver, Bullet, & White Legend. I say those names tongue in cheek. I gave those names because I really don’t have much respect for those cars.
Do you esteem your wife by still calling her the bride of your youth? Or do you rehash her weaknesses and faults? Do you tell her that there is no one like her? Or do you sarcastically make her the brunt of jokes? Do you call her beautiful, gorgeous, mesmerizing, your virtuous wife, and so on. Your wife is like your dream car so tell her often how you feel about her. Like right now in a text, call, or message. Do it.
- You hit your wife
When someone has a clunker and it stalls or doesn’t start they can hit the steering wheel or kick the tire in frustration. Your wife is probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to you. If she annoys, irritates, talks too much, doesn’t talk to much, etc. don’t ever, ever hit her or even pretend to infer that. If you have physically abused her, you need to go get help. She is a gift to you. Treat her like that and you will be surprised to see how she will respond to you.
- You don’t listen to your wife
A clunker makes noises. The problem is that most owners don’t ever look for the hints in those noises. They justify those noises by thinking, “I have a clunker so of course they make unusual noises.”
All noises are hints.
Your wife is leaving you hints all the time.
It could be in a look.
In a question.
In a challenge.
In a suggestion.
You see, most clunkers have owner manuals. It is located in the glove compartment.
Your wife also has an owner manual. That manual is opened up when you sit on the couch with her or across the table and ask her questions. Keep asking and she will open up the depths of who she is. The Bible says we are supposed to live in an understanding way with our wives. It is possible to do this as God empowers us.
Let’s make it our ambition to make sure we treat our wife like the Rose she is and reject treating her like a clunker.
Question: Which of the 4 ways stuck out to you? What other ways could guys treat their marriage like a clunker? Please comment below.
Heath Stoner is the founder of Trailer Club where he inspires men to be the greatest sons, husbands, fathers, and leaders in their generation. He has been married to his wife for 16 yrs and is the proud father to Zach (12), Sierra (10), & Savanah (9). He has degrees from Oral Roberts University and Liberty University. He has been a Youth Pastor for 11 years and was an Executive Leader for one of the largest youth ministries in America for 15 years. Heath’s passion is that every man needs to be a student of wisdom and be able to live out the declaration, “What one man can do, another man can do.” www.trailerclub.org
