Category: Dating/Courting

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Dating/Courting Single

3 Things To Consider In Your Next Relationship (Ladies' Edition)

Confident young woman standing on an urban rooftop daydreaming with her arms folded backlit by the bright flare of the rising sun

by Habiba Abudu

Before entering a serious relationship, one must be whole. Not in a superficial way. You will never be 100 percent perfect when entering a relationship, however, it is important to consider these 3 factors in order to avoid issues in your relationship. 

  1. Father Issues

If you did not grow up with a father you may look to your partner as a means to appease any rejection or loss you had. No doubt, fathers play a significant role in a child’s upbringing and not having one can lead you to looking for affirmation elsewhere. Having a strong father would make you more secure in yourself and less susceptible to compromising your values for a “random”. If you think it’s not true, look how Tom Brady teared up when he mentioned how his dad was his hero. When men know that you seek them for affirmation they can manipulate you. You can also compare your partner to other men who have mistreated you. You have to get rid of that mentality and see your partner the way Christ sees him. 

If you do not have a father – look towards your heavenly Father for He is better than any man you can have. People will fail you. Your friends and family will fail you. Jesus will never fail you. Once you realize that, you won’t go to someone for affirmation

 2. Insecurities

There will always be someone who is skinnier, prettier, smarter and funnier than you. If you are always comparing yourself to the next person, you will always feel insignificant. Subsequently, when you enter a relationship, you will struggle with doubts. You may constantly question whether or not your man will leave you once he finds someone better. Once again, seek God. His thoughts toward you exceed rubies. There is nothing wrong with working out and eating well. But you may never be satisfied unless you find peace with who God made you to be. Be still and at peace. 

Deal with insecurities. Decades of hurt  seemingly buried and forgotten can manifest itself in unexpected ways. Journal your hurts and let God heal you. Talk to someone. Pray. Don’t expect deep rooted hurts to be gone over night. Sometimes, it takes time and a process of healing and restoration. It’s okay to be open with your insecurities. Individuals often put a facade of being okay when it’s quite the contrary. The world is full of broken people. God rejoices in our weakness because He is our strength in our weakness.

3.   Fear of rejection/failure 

Perhaps you experienced a lot of rejection in your life. You weren’t the popular kid at school.  Or you failed at multiple things. Everyone’s failed at something. We are too focused on perfectionism. So maybe once you enter a relationship you already foresee failure on the horizon. You are hesitant to become close to your significant other because you think he will reject you once you mess up. Or you are scared he will see your true colors and want to leave. Grace says that we can mess up. If your partner really loves you, he will accept you flaws and all. 

Failure is apart of life. Failure, when looked at correctly, can be a learning experience. Fear of failure can lead to fear of taking risks or of opening up. God wants you to walk on water. He wants you to take risks. In Him, you are loved. And God works everything for good, so perceived failure/setbacks in Christ will be for your betterment.

Habiba Abudu is a writer based in Toronto, Canada. She loves writing, exploring and eating good food. You can find her at www.habibaabudu.com, www.facebook.com/habibadoesthings , on Instagram @therealhabibaabudu, stay tuned for “Tickle Me Fancy”

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Dating/Courting Home Physical Intimacy Single

Abstaining From Sex: The Ammunition You Need

It’s everywhere. SEX. It’s on the TV, it’s in the magazines, books, music, posters, movies… EVERYWHERE. So unless you plan on becoming a hermit and staying indoors doing nothing, then I suggest you get some ammunition and learn how to use it.
After speaking with a few people through my blog and business, I thought I would write a post and tell you what helps me keep my vow of purity. Oh, just in case you didn’t know, I run a Christian business geared toward helping men and women stay celibate until marriage. Also, if you read to the end, I’ll have a surprise for you at the end of this post. **Giveaway Alert**
I use the word ammunition in my title because literally there is a fight we experience in our everyday lives to remain pure. The enemy is armed and dangerous and he’s not afraid to use his weapons. So why are we?
Here’s what I’m locked and loaded with:
Prayer
This is the vehicle in which the Lord has given us to communicate with Him. So why don’t we use it? It’s literally available to us anytime of the day. And it’s my first choice when I’m faced with impure thoughts. I just simply say,

“Lord, fill my thoughts with thoughts of you and your goodness. Help me to block the tactics of the enemy that’s trying to infiltrate my mind. Right now I choose to think on everything that is pure and lovely.”

It’s nothing long and drawn out- when the enemy is quickly approaching, or better yet, when he has already used his weapon, you have to use what’s in your arsenal.
Sometimes I even pray my go-to scripture, But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desire” (Romans 13:14)
I encourage you to find a scripture of choice and use it when the enemy is trying to wage war on your mind.
Accountability
You need to find someone who is on the journey of abstaining from sex like you. I recommend finding someone who is further along in the journey than you, that way they can tell you what help keeps them from falling victim to the enemies tactics. See, they more than likely have a language for the season you’re entering or you’ve been in and they will definitely give you sound advice. This is also a person that you should be able to share your struggles with- someone that you plan to be truthful and honest with, because what’s the point of having accountability otherwise?
Listen, I love my accountability partners, I have two- I call them when I need prayer, when I need to talk, and when I need encouragement. I remember one time I texted one of them at a very early hour in the morning and guess, what she responded. This isn’t a walk you have to do by yourself, there are plenty of people, Christians, out here living for the Lord and taking their vow of purity seriously.
My Purity Card
Yes! I carry my card with me everywhere. It’s in my wallet, so I have the ability to pull it out at anytime, anywhere. It’s a great reminder. It’s something about seeing my signature on the card- it reminds me that the decision I made to abstain from sex until marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s a contract between me and the Lord, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t dishonor any contract I made with my Lord and Savior. (If you want a copy of the card, you can email me at crownedyou@gmail.com).
If you want to join me in this fight for purity, comment below and let me know! I’d love to pray for you and encourage you. I’ll also be entering your comment into a drawing to win an item from my company Crowned, LLC. So be sure to leave enough information so that I can get back in contact with you and follow us on Instagram.

 

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Communication Dating/Courting Marriage Parenting Spiritual Intimacy

The Unseen History With God in Your Marriage

Time Travel

This past weekend, my wife and I rifled through our memories and found our wedding video. Eleven years and three kids later, we’re still going strong. Yet, amazingly enough, our kids had never seen our wedding video before. So we scooped some ice cream, sat down as a family, and re-lived that magical day all over again. (Well, almost magical. Everyone has a story about a moment in their wedding day that was more tragic than magic.)
Ours truly felt like a fairy tale wedding. It was outside; we were under an oak tree with the wind blowing and the sun gleaming through the clouds. The music, the flowers, the ambience—Oh! And the bride! You should have seen her! She looked like a princess; she still looks like a princess.
Going back to that day with our kids was so special in so many ways, but it really highlighted the true Hero of our story: Christ. Sarah and I have built something together over the past eleven years. We’re still building something together: a secret history with God. He is the muse of our love story. Our marriage is an ever-unfolding tribute to the Lover of our souls.

Unseen Struggles

Watching our video resurfaced all those old feelings of our love. There were moments that I grimaced, like the extremely nerve-induced delivery of my vows. (It’s a wonder anyone could understand me, talking that fast!) But mostly, it made me beam with pride at our amazing story.
I glanced over at my bride and smiled many times. She’s still here. She’s the girl I married and she’s so much more. She’s the woman I’ve slain dragons with. She’s been the eyewitness to some of my most brutal failures; and yet, here she remains.
At the bedrock foundation of a solid marriage, there are often the unseen scars. From the courtship to the wedding day, there were battles. From the wedding day to eleven years, there were wars. The only thing that people see are a man and a woman in love with God and one another, but the unseen beauty of a marriage are the scars of battles fought together to get there—and stay there.

Unseen Victories

There are also unseen victory laps.
Celebrating our first home together, celebrating the first time the baby slept through the night, celebrating the appearance of the mysterious $100 bill that was carefully and curiously wedged in the pages of Sarah’s Bible during a time of financial famine. These are the moments that get a marriage through the battles! No one knows the intimate joys that I have with my wife over the battles we have fought and won together, except us. That is the beauty of our unseen history: that we take advantage of an opportunity to build something—not a façade, but something four-dimensional together. And nobody sees it or lives it like we do.

Building Upwards

The defeats and victories form the bedrock of who we are as a couple. Now, we’re growing together, rising higher from glory to glory together with God. We’re forging new victories after new battles—adding more glorious layers to our beautiful imitation of Christ and the Church.
Be patient in your battles. Be graceful in your victories. Soon, you’ll look back at that glorious day that it all began and marvel at your unseen history with one another and with your Great God.

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Single

3 Attributes a Man Needs to Date You

Man In Prayer
1. Unwavering Faith in Christ
Before Christ, I dated men that were filled with darkness because I too was filled with darkness. I was longing for love, not realizing that I didn’t have love. I was simply longing for an emotion that wasn’t on the inside of me. In essence, I longed for something I didn’t even know.
I found myself never waiting on the right one but simply settling for all the wrong ones. These men had no faith in God. They didn’t believe in the God that I knew growing up as a child. But again my reality set in, that I didn’t have faith in God either. I knew who God was but I didn’t completely trust that he could be ruler over my life.
I’ve encountered so many broken relationships in my life romantically that I arrived at a place in 2014 that I couldn’t take the pain any longer. I began to have faith in God because I saw for myself that He was the true and the living God. Now I desired not only to put my trust in the Most High God but to also wait for a man that had faith in God. I didn’t want a man with wavering faith. I needed a man that had unwavering faith in Jesus Christ.
2. Incorruptible Reputation
My past isn’t pretty. I’ve made some choices that I regretted making in this life. If you would read my story, my reputation was corrupt. If you heard some of things that I did, you would probably be shocked. Even sometimes when I look back over my life, I too am shocked at some choices I made. The great thing that I’ve discovered is the ashes of my past made beauty of my future.
When God called me out of darkness into his marvelous light in 2014, my sins were forgiven, my past was finished and I was a new creature in Christ Jesus. Living for Christ doesn’t mean that I’m perfect but that God thought I was worth it. Even now when I fall, His love covers me.
I had dated men that said all the right stuff, but their actions never aligned with their words. By the time I realized that they were liars, I had already invited them into my bed, only to find that they were not the one that God had ordained for my life.
So I came to a point of realizing that the man that God needed me to have would need to have an incorruptible reputation. I’m not saying that his past had to be squeaky clean. But I am saying that his walk with Christ had to align with the word of God. His actions had to align with the word of God. The way he treated others and even me had to resemble the word of God.
3. Strong Biblical Foundation
I learned so much about my heavenly father by reading the bible. It is through his word that I’ve become grounded in His truth. It is through His word that my life has transformed and the woman I use to be was formed into what my Heavenly Father wanted me to be. It’s through the bible that I learned how to pray and even what to say.
The man that I prayed for needed to have a biblical foundation. There are so many ideologies out there in the world. Many of our people are falling for beliefs that God never intended for us to consume our spirits with. Because of that very truth, I needed a man that had a strong biblical foundation. A man that wasn’t afraid to open his bible and study the word.  A man that was open to discussing the word aloud with me. A man that was open to being transparent so we could faith share together. A man that was willing to share his knowledge and wisdom with me.
We as women of God must never settle to have a piece of a man because God desires for us to have a whole man. Not just physically but also spiritually. Women of God, please wait for the man with an unwavering faith in Christ, an incorruptible reputation and a strong biblical foundation. Godly men do still exist!

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Single

Ladies, Stop Losing the Interest of Potentials: 10 Things that Scare Men Away

Ever date a guy and he up and disappears? Now you’re left wondering “What did I do wrong?” Been there, done that! So here is a list of 10 things woman do to scare men away early on in the relationship. This list is comprised of personal experience as well as responses from social media:
Personal Experience
1. Investing Beyond the Relationship Status-
We, as woman, are naturally loving and want to help men in any way possible. This is a turn off to some men, as he may feel you are “doing too much”. I remember telling a guy I was going to buy him a Fossil watch after only knowing him for 1 month (but it was Christmas, so I wasn’t really doing too much, was I? That was a rhetorical question.). Eventually he shared with me that my intentions “scared him because the investment was bigger than our status”.
2. Prematurely Discussing the Future-
I was super excited for the same guy to meet my family; it’s all I talked about. I told him how much he’d love my family…. it turns out that meeting the family within a few weeks of dating is indeed too much.
 
Social Media Response (responses to my status)
3. The “Independent Woman Syndrome”-
“Don’t get me wrong, I love a strong woman; however, there can’t be two Alpha Males in one relationship. If you’re too independent…there’s no need for me”
4. Insensitive-
“Women who are rude and disrespectful to wait staff is a real turn off. It says a lot about a person’s character.”
5. Talking About Marriage
“LAWD! LAWD! LAWD! If you mention marriage on the first date, I’m not calling you again, lol. Seriously, it’s a major turn off when women bring up marriage 1,209,872,347,095 times and we don’t even know each other’s favorite color yet.
6. Discussing Life’s Problems Too Early
“Don’t get me wrong, we all have problems; BUT, I don’t want to hear about them at every meal! It comes off as ‘ungrateful’.”
7. Un-closed Doors-
“PLEASE! I beg you! Close every opened door before you attempt to date a man. There’s nothing worse that being with a woman whose heart belongs to someone else”
8. No Career Plans-
“I like a woman with drive! If you can’t share what you’d like to accomplish in life, I can’t date you.”
9.Unable to Define Love-
“Everyone wants it, but not everyone knows how to give it. It’s hard to believe someone who can’t define love would know how to appropriately give it.
10.Super Clingy-
“My interest can not be your only interest and my friends cannot be your only friends. I like women who have their own interests and friends.”
Bonus:
LADIES, no matter how “confident” your interest appears to be “DO NOT DISCUSS OTHER MALES”. I dated a guy who appeared to be uber confident. I always talked about my boy-best friend, and he flat-out told me: “I don’t want to hear about your friend. No man wants to hear about another man all the time.” Honestly, I meant no harm! I just discuss the people I love with EVERYONE.
Remember to let the man lead, keep these tips in mind, and here’s to not scaring away your dates in 2017. Lol.

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Communication Dating/Courting Marriage Spiritual Intimacy

What I Learned When My Wife Was Hurting

Man comforting his sad mourning friend embracing her in a park

Recently, I woke up. The cloud of busyness that I had been encapsulated in finally dissipated, and I was left to realize that my wife really needed me, but I had been too distracted. I wept and repented when I realized that my oblivion had left her vulnerable and wide open. I’m her covering. This is what I signed up for: to love, honor, and cherish Sarah.
I am going to love and cover my wife, the way Jesus loves and covers His Church. (Ephesians 5:25)
In the instance of seeing my role as my wife’s servant leader and protector, I realized that a husband loving his wife as Jesus loves His Church is her greatest champion. Her mighty man. I love turning the tables of modern manhood and seeing my wife, not I, as the one who should be displayed. Peter tells us that wives are the “weaker vessel.”
Not weak, though, in the sense of being defenseless and unstable. A better translation would be delicate. This phrase in Greek literally means fine china. (1 Peter 3:7)
In this moment of drawing a line—no, a trench—in the sand: vowing to protect and lead my wife with love, respect, attention, and to love her with abandon, I came to realize three truths about when my wife is hurting.

 1. What hurts her, hurts me.

When a husband sheds his passivity like a worn, overused garment, it is refreshing. I tore off that indifference with a vengeance when I saw that I had turned a blind eye to my wife’s pain—and it seared like an iron when I learned this. To love your wife as Christ loves His Church is to feel such empathy for her pain that you clench your fists until your knuckles whiten , and you shout through clenched teeth, “Give it to me, Lord, if it will take it off of her!”

 2. The enemy of her soul better watch his back.

The next swelling emotion that I experienced after feeling her pain was anger and fury towards the enemy of her soul, who tries to rob her peace and stifle her joy. Your wife was not created to be a victim. She was created to represent the beauty, grace, and strength of God to the world. When the enemy tries to choke out that vibrant life that God fused into her soul, you—like me—will roar. And roar you must. The battered woman image is a façade that undermines the dignity and value that God bestowed upon women. Rebuke the enemy and glorify the name of Jesus in her midst! When your wife is too weary to cry out her battle cry, then cry it out for her.

 3. Whoever blesses her, blesses me.

Finally the storm subsided. Friends and mentors gather around her and you get “tagged out” to rest so others could surround her. This happened to me. A spiritual mother and sisters in her life came to her side and spoke truth over my wife’s heart. My joy returned because her joy returned. God knows this sentiment. Genesis 12:3 tells of God’s burning heart for Israel, how those who bless Israel will be blessed by God. Why? Because He is so invested in His people that when others pour into Israel, He cannot help but pour out His love in return. The Lord is the ultimate example of a husband: He is the Champion of His Bride, and what blesses her, blesses Him—causing Him in return to bless.
Husbands, let’s champion our wives’ position in the Kingdom and defend her against the lies and libels that the enemy tries to place upon her!
 
 
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Marriage Single

5 Tips to be a 'Catcher' not a 'Chaser'

Dark-skinned man standing next to his offended wife with Afro haircut and crossed arms, man looking guilty, pointing finger at him, asking what he did wrong, trying to understand what happened to her

Ready for a bold statement?
We are a society that likes the chase more than the catch.
Please know this is a general statement, and that it doesn’t apply to everyone. But in my experiences, we seem to be a group of people that quite often is looking for ‘the next best thing’ and once we have that…we want something better. The benefit of this is that it can translate to having high standards and valuing excellence. The downfall is that it greatly challenges our contentment, and when applied to relationships can make commitment very difficult.
If you have found yourself in a cycle of being drawn to the ‘chase’ but not being able to settle, here are some tips to being a person that values the catch more than the process of getting there.
1. Identify 5-7 qualities in a future spouse that are non-negotiable.
Hopefully you’ll end up with your dream man/woman but they might not be that person the first day you meet them. Decide on a handful of qualities that are a deal breaker for a potential spouse, and allow those to determine who you do/don’t date. With the other qualities you’d like, tuck them away and don’t allow them to dictate whether or not a person is perfect for you. The Lord knows our desires and is more than capable of fulfilling them! Ideally we are constantly evolving into better versions of ourselves, so what you might be wanting may come with time if it’s not in place right away.
2. Understand that any relationship will take work, no matter who it’s with.
It seems that most people look for the next best thing when a relationship starts to become hard or the commitment is tested in some way. The reality is…the next relationship will reach that point too. And the next, and the next, and so on. You’re going to have to be okay with not feeling head-over-heels in love at all times with the person you’re with if you want a relationship that will last forever. However, the reward is great! Withstanding the difficult moments will lead to a stronger bond, deeper intimacy, and ultimately, a greater love for the person you’re with.
3.  Continually look for the good in the person you’re considering as a spouse instead of focusing on shortcomings.
If you don’t want to be a chaser your whole life, you’re going to have to be intentional about seeing the good in the person you’re with. Once you start caring more about their shortcomings than their unique strengths, you’ll easily be drawn to other prospects that don’t have the same weaknesses. (However – they’ll have a different set of weaknesses!)
4. Be present.
When you’re with the person you’re considering as a spouse, where is your mind? Are you thinking about the people/things around you? Are you on your phone? This person shouldn’t have to compete for your attention when you’re with them. It creates tension, and also can make you miss out on moments with him/her that build a foundation for a healthy relationship.
5. Be prayerful.
You don’t know your future, but you can talk to the One that does! If you’re given the green light on dating someone, then there may be an amazing opportunity ahead of you that requires action.
In an age where we have access to much yet little is required of us, being a “chaser” is an easy way to do life… but makes it difficult to truly find what you’re chasing after!

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Dating/Courting Home

How to Identify The Counterfeit

The enemy knows exactly what you want in a man. When we’re having girl talk with our friends or when we are talking with ourselves about the qualities we want in a man, the enemy is listening and  you can bet that he is devising a plan to distract you.
Enter the counterfeit.
He may have succeeded a time or two or three… yes that guy from freshman year was a counterfeit and so was the guy from graduation. Ok. Ok. Ok. Him too. But wait we don’t have to go down memory lane, let’s just refocus here.
The point of this blog is to share with you ways you can identify a counterfeit so we no longer get tricked by the enemy. Now if you can’t get past his physical appearance then it will be hard for you to even see through to his heart. The heart reveals all things.
Being single for seven years has definitely taught me how to identify a counterfeit.

  • Counterfeits pretend they respect your boundaries. When really, they test them.
  • Counterfeits pretend to live by biblical principles. When really, they flirt with sin.
  • Counterfeits are very prideful- not a humble bone in their bodies.
  • Counterfeits are good pretenders. In public they will act like the good, Christian man ,but behind closed doors, he will be the total opposite.

Be careful or you will fall into the trap.

  • Counterfeits don’t have any real intentions. They drag you along, making promises they never plan on committing to.
  • Counterfeits will also attempt to seduce you with what they have-cars and money. They flash it around as if it’s all they have to offer. I guess they never listened to that LL Cool J song when he said “man makes the money, money never makes the man”
  • Counterfeits appear to be the real thing. But they aren’t. They are just wolves in sheep’s clothing.. or coating. (I never really knew what they were saying, but it’s still a really good quote).

They come to rob you of what God is preparing for you. Which is why you have to be able to recognize them when they come along. Being involved with a counterfeit doesn’t lead you any closer to the altar, in fact, it leads you further away.
Having the ability to recognize a counterfeit also saves you from heartache. You won’t have to ugly cry in your pajamas while you sing along to Beyonce’ – To the left To the left, everything you own in the box to the left”.. you know, getting your “Lemonade” on. You see, counterfeits don’t care anything about your soul, all they care about is….  well you know what they care about.
Don’t get caught up Ladies.
I certainly hope that this article was helpful to you. I know I am a much better woman because of my past experiences and I hope what I went through could help save you from a broken heart.

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged

How to Remain Celibate While Dating

Interracial couple in love having fun in the city

Recently, I was asked if my husband I were celibate before marriage and if so, how?
My response: “yes and one word – boundaries!”
Before I met my husband I made up in my mind I wasn’t going to make the same mistake for a third time and I was determined to remain faithful to God and honor Him with not only my life but my body.
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I learned from previous mistakes that it’s better to avoid temptation than be in a situation where you have to flee it. When my husband and I started dating we made sure to only see each other in public and we never visited each other’s homes. It was best to just avoid close quarters. Watching a movie late at night while my roommate was out of town was no longer an option.
Along with our boundaries there were several things that helped us remain celibate before marriage:
1. Understanding: we were both on the same page.  We both had the same end goal of marriage, thus, we were intentional about dating God’s way.
Dating someone who is not fully in agreement would had been hard. I’ve been in that situation before and failed.  You’re more likely to be tempted by your partner  and he/she may not be as committed to the relationship.
2.  Accountability: we both had someone close to us, who we allowed to check in on us. My husband and I came up with a grading scale and after every date we would rate ourselves. We got a C once but never failed. Sounds funny now but it worked, and we would share our grades with our accountability partners.
3.  Protecting Your Eye & Ear Gates: when dating it may be best to skip over the love scenes in movies and avoid some of  your favorite R&B songs. It’s probably best to stick to comedy and gospel. Ha!
 
Abstinence while dating is absolutely possible but it takes intentionality. However, it’s always worth the wait!

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Single

3 Dangers in Following Your Heart

People love to give the advice to follow your heart when pursuing a new relationship, but this is unbiblical. The word of God does not instruct us to follow our heart, but instead to guard it (Proverbs 4:23). Here are 3 dangers in following your heart.

  1. The Heart is Deceitful– Jeremiah 17:9 tells us “The heart is deceitful above all things. And it is extremely sick; Who can understand it fully and know its secret motives?” If you are following a heart that is deceitful and sick will it give you the truth or perspective you need in order to make healthy choices and decisions and to obey God? Absolutely not! Your heart will attempt to fulfill its own desires and is not concerned about the casualties created as a result of its selfish pursuit.

 

  1. The Heart is Void of Wisdom– Proverbs 28:26 informs us that fools trust in their own heart but there is safety for those who walk in wisdom. This scripture indicates there is no wisdom or safety found in trusting in or following our own heart. Our own hearts can mislead and misguide us. When we allow the painful memories from past relationships to become embedded in the memory of our heart, it becomes a source of false wisdom and counsel in new relationship experiences.

 

  1. The Heart is Inconsistent and Emotional– Another danger in following your heart is based on the season you are enduring in your life, your heart will lead you based on its emotional state. The problem with this is when we are led by our emotions we do not have an accurate perspective of our situation and if we are led by our emotions we are not being led by the truth of God. Have you ever witnessed a woman make a vow to her husband and God that she will love, honor, respect and be faithful to him for the rest of her life….then in a challenging season when she feels he does not understand her, she confides in and gives her heart to another man who seems to be more understanding than her husband? The emotions of her heart have deceived her into believing it is acceptable and justifiable to break covenant with her husband to connect to another man who understands her. Instead of guarding her heart during this vulnerable season, she chose to allow the emotions of it to guide her. Relationships have been ruined because people chose to follow their own heart and not God’s heart or will.

The next time someone tells you to follow your heart do yourself a favor and tell them no thanks; I would rather follow God’s heart! He will never lead me astray and cannot fail me!