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Single

10 Qualities of a Man Ready for Marriage

I started thinking about my unmarried or newly married friends and their dating/courting relationships. After you have committed to someone and have dated exclusively for some time, how do you know when you are ready to take the leap of faith and get married?
Marriage is wonderful but it can come with it’s challenges so you need to be prepared emotionally, spiritually, and financially to be happy beyond the wedding day.
This post is focused on the man especially since he is the head of the relationship. I have listed 20 qualities that I believe are attributes of a man ready for marriage. I decided to break this up into two separate articles to keep this one from being a book chapter instead of a blog post. Stay tuned for Part 2 and “Qualities of a Woman ready for a Godly Marriage”.
1. Seeks God with his whole heart-
Psalm 119: 9-11
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
The scripture says in order to keep yourself pure, hide His word in your heart. Seeking Him with your whole heart will keep you focused on pleasing God in all that you do.
2. Attends, gives and serves at a church
As a saved young woman, I have heard this line many times, “You are a Christian (or saved), oh that’s cool, I go to church, I am a member of…” I am happy that you “go to church”, but I believe you are a true member when you have invested your time, resources and talents to this church. The church cannot run itself without it’s members.
Your local church will be blessed by your help. What areas of the church are you serving in? How can you be a blessing to your pastor and members? I have found that serving in the church keeps you grounded, accountable and you learn so much about yourself and the life of Jesus by serving His people.
3. Has godly friends- Having godly friends will also help with accountability. Having friends who are walking with Jesus that will give you godly advice and will understand your struggles, praises, and will encourage your spiritual growth. The scripture says in Proverbs 27:17 that “Iron sharpens Iron”.
4. Has a good relationship with his family- I know all families are not perfect, but is there communication and respect with and towards the family.
This is important because if there are majors signs of dysfunction in the family, this unfortunately can filter over into your marriage. You will need to have open communication about the future in-laws.
5. Prays with and encourages you to pursue God more while he is pursuing you- The man is the head of the household. He will need to treat the bride as Jesus does the church. The Lord of Lord’s desires a church without spot or blemish.
Jesus loves us with an everlasting love. A godly man will want his wife to be all that God has called her to be. A godly man will want his woman to put God first before him.
6. Has a job or career- The husband will be the provider of the family and head of the household. He will need a job or is working (in school) to obtain a career.
7. Encourages you to  pursue your passion and goals- He will not be intimidated or will not limit his woman’s God given gifts.
8. Abstains from sexual immorality and fornication-
1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
The above scriptures describes those that fall to lust as those who do not know God. God does not want you to corrupt your body with this sin. Having sex outside of marriage will bring on a slew of problems into a pure relationship.
It is created for husband and wife only to enjoy. If you are not abstaining from this, you are sinning against God and your body.
This will keep the enemy from corrupting your union before it has even started. If this has already happened in your relationship, please seek Godly counsel on how to proceed with your relationship.
This goes back to being involved in a church, having Godly friends, and being guided by your pastor. Your support system will help you as a couple get back on track.
9. Communicates with you about his past, his struggles, and future- You do not want to have any surprises before you say “I do”.
10. Enjoys spending time with you- My grandfather who had been married for almost 60 years before he passed, gave me and Joel this one piece of marriage advice, “Have fun with each other.”
You want to enjoy your time together even if you are doing something that you don’t want to do. It shows that you want to invest in getting to know your mate and showing them how much you love and appreciate them.
 

Categories
Communication Dating/Courting Home

8 Tips on How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

If there is one thing I know about is long distant relationships. My husband and I lived in different countries for 9 months!
If it was not for Jesus and our commitment to each other I do not think we would have made it. Here are some tips that we used to make sure that we made it through the difficult times.
1. Make a decision early about the status of your relationship
From the first week we started talking, we knew God  put us together and that we weren’t just dating to date but dating to get married. This helped us know we couldn’t just quit becuase we were tired or we had had enough. Our decision to keep going was based on the decision that we were growing for marriage.
2. Use the distance as a tool to grow your communication
The good thing about long distance relationships is that you have to do a lot of talking. Talking allows you to strengthen your communication and develop a bond that is beyound the physical nature.
3. Schedule online dates
My husband and I scheduled dates over Skype. We would get dressed up and talk as if we were face to face. It is important to still create moments of intimacy even if you are not together face to face.
4. Use social media to invite them into your life
With tools like periscope, instagram, or Facebook you can now take videos and send them or take them along with you during events and things that are important to you. Tag them in pictures as if they were there and include them in your everyday life.
5. Play games
There are many online games that you two can play against each other or with each one another.  Playing games helps bring joy into your relationships and helps make you feel closer becuase you are doing something that you normally could only do face to face.
6. Keep an online journal
Each of you can write in the journal when you are missing one another. Each of you can read it when you are unable to talk.
7. Schedule visits
Even though my husband and I lived in different countries, we scheduled visits to be together. Scheduling trips allows you to have something to look forward to.  You can do a count down together and it gives you hope to keep going.
8. Pray, worship and read the word together
He who has begun a good work in you is faithful to complete it, if you feel God has brought you two together allow him to complete it. Praying together allows God to sustain your relationship. Make your walk with God a priority not only together but personally, God will give you courage and strength to see everything come into completion.

Categories
Home Marriage Parenting Spiritual Intimacy

5 Ways to Spend Time With Jesus as a Family

The fight for your family isn’t taking a furlough.
Welcome to the twenty-first century: the age of confusion and chaos in a free-for-all, dilapidated society. If ever Christians needed the peace of God in their hearts and homes, it’s now.
Joshua, the protege of Moses, took a stand for the Lord’s place in society. He boldly declared in Joshua 24:15:
“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Like Joshua, we’re living a land where options abound. In this land, we too will have to take a stand and predetermine in our hearts that our house will be a house that serves the Lord.
Growing up, my parents would lead us in simple devotionals, at least once a week as a family. This set me on a course for a divine encounter with the Living God.
Family devotional time doesn’t have to be devoid of life and boring. In fact, I’m convinced it should never be boring.
Here are five ideas for a dynamic family devotional time:
1. Play worship music and worship the Lord together. If your kids are small, pick them up and dance to the Lord together! They’ll associate worship with true joy! Our kids are accustomed to hearing us sing our hearts out to the Lord, enraptured in intimate worship. Once, after seeing a devastating news headline, my immediate response was to go the Lord in worship on my guitar. My family walked in and we had a divine, impromptu worship service in our living room!
2. Have a family-focused prayer night. Let every member take turns sitting in a chair in the middle. Let each family member say a prayer over that person. After praying, every member of the family can say how that person is a blessing or encouragement. Do this until everyone is prayed over and blessed. Also, pray together for family needs and watch and journal as God answers!
3. Take family mission trips. You don’t have to go around the world, but ask God, as a family, who the Lord wants your family to minister to and then load up the car and go! Maybe the Lord will give your family a word of knowledge about a single mom in Wal-Mart who can’t afford groceries. Maybe you go to Chic-Fil-A and buy lunch for the family in the car behind you. The point is, the family does it together and it takes family devos out of the house and into the world!
4. Ask everyone to share on a devotional rotation. Make a schedule and let everyone in the family share what the Lord is teaching them. End the time with prayer for each other and a blessing for each member of the family.
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5. Have a global-focused prayer night. Turn off the TV and all the lights and light a few candles. Pray about current events. Let the kids mention their friends or even animals who need prayer. Pray over cities that are mentioned in the news. Pray for the President or the Queen of England, but pray together for things outside of yourselves!
Like Joshua, we should make Christ the Lord of our house and our families. Your commitment to devote a night a week to the Lord as a family will leave an indelible mark on your family forever.
M&Y Family! What other ideas do you have for a family devotional time?
Check out this 42 Day Devotional written by founder’s of Married and Young!
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Categories
Dating/Courting Home

Dating For Two Years And Still No Ring

I’ve been dating this amazing man for two years, but have known him for a total of 8 years. As we recently approached our second year anniversary…can I be honest…disappointment greeted me.
Every time I log onto facebook someone else is getting married, someone else is having a baby or someone else is engaged. None of those someone’s were me.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, especially when you have a desire to be married and you believe you’ve found the one you wish to spend your life with.
BUT WHAT THE HECK IS TAKING SO LONG?
I know I’m not the only girl who has felt this way.
Out of anxiety and frustration I began to pray. The Lord reminded me when I surrendered my life to him, which includes marriage.
Psalm 139:16 reads “You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” In prayer I was reminded that every day of my life has been recorded in God’s book… EVEN MY WEDDING DAY!
I’m reminded that I can’t compare my love story to that of others because we are two totally different books. For some, marriage happens on page 30 and others 250.

The point is, I’m not in control of my love story…GOD is!

Although there’s a great desire to be married, there’s a burning desire to stay in God’s will! It’s in his will that I am perfectly safe!
After coming to this realization, I’ve made a conscious effort to remain on the page God has placed me on.
I believe there are great lessons, memories and fun to be had on this on this page of my love story. I wouldn’t dare insult God’s artistic ability by racing past the pages that don’t cater to my desires.
Be as encouraged as I was to live in the moment! Enjoy where God has positioned you in this moment!
I’m comforted by the fact that God has answered my prayers in the past and this time will be no different; like all the other answered prayers, God moves according to his timing. Don’t be anxious, it wont make God move any faster…it’ll only rob you of precious moments on this page.
Be encouraged,
Shannon C Colar
Lovebyencouragement.com

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Single

9 Questions to Ask Yourself If Your Dream is to be Married

I think it’s easy to focus on so many other variables besides ourselves when it comes to marriage. Finding the ‘love of your life,’ having a beautiful wedding, or , what the kids will look like, etc.
The problem is, when we focus so much on what we don’t have control over in the future, it can take our attention away from what we can control in the present.
I do believe God created us to dream, and that He’s even placed those dreams within us.
But I also believe He calls us to steward our time well, and therefore I think it’s safe to say it’s important we use the time before marriage wisely.
If you are in a season of being single, I challenge you to ask yourself the following hard questions:
1. Are there things I want to do before I share my life with somebody?
2. Am I really working on my weaknesses or do I pass them off for being ‘a part of who I am?
We all have weaknesses, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore them or excuse ourselves from working on them. It’s much easier to hide them when you are by yourself.
3. What does marriage mean to me?
I may not be married, but I’ve been around married people enough to know that it’s not just butterflies and bliss 24/7. I’m not saying fairy tale marriages are impossible, but if you’re expecting it to be easy you may need to do some more research before getting married.
4. What is my view of God?
God designed marriage, so He is the ultimate expert. Focusing on your relationship with Him will naturally prepare you to be ready for marriage, along with establishing a foundation that will be vital to your relationship with your spouse (and others in your life!).
5. Am I praying for my future spouse?
6. Have I dealt with my insecurities?
Insecurities have a way of wreaking havoc on relationships. If you’re not at peace with yourself, it’s going to be difficult to feel at peace in a relationship. If you have insecurities that haven’t been dealt with, find the root and get rid of them!
7. Would I be a financial burden to somebody?
I’m not sure financial problems are an attractive quality. You may as well get on top of your finances now so that it doesn’t create tension in your marriage later.
8. Do I know who I was created to be?
Knowing what you’re meant to do with your life will help you to find the right type of person to partner up with. If you’re not sure, this would be a good time to get some clarity on your destiny.
9. Am I an ideal spouse (for my ideal spouse)?
Bear with me on this question… Are you the type of person that the type of person you want to marry would want to marry? It’s fun to think about the qualities you want in a spouse, but the reality is, they have to choose you too!
Ultimately, the more you spend time improving yourself instead of dreaming of what is to come, the better chance that dream will be fulfilled and exceeded!
 
M&Y! What are some other questions to ask yourself if you desire to get married? 

Categories
Finances Parenting

How To Start Your Children Off With A Great Credit Score

 
Guest Writer: Calvin Russel Jr.
 
Many young adults apply for student and auto loans only to get denied because of a low credit score. Some of them have no idea how to build credit or how to start on the right path. That is usually when the parents come in. Some parents show their children how to build credit, some build it for them, and some tell their children to never build or worry about credit at all…..only to end up co-signing for them later because of it. I assume since you are reading this, you are far from the latter. Lets get started.
 
1. Add Them To Your Credit Card As Authorized Users
Adding your child to your credit card as an authorized user is the easiest way to help your child build credit. What makes this process so simple is that most credit card companies offer this as a free service for up to a certain amount of Authorized Users. First, an Authorized User is someone that is added to an account with limited access, and adding an additional card is optional. Keep in mind that when the bill comes every month, the payment history, balance, limit, and utilization will show on the primary and authorized users credit report. The beauty of this feature is that the authorized user score increases even without them having to do anything to the account. Be sure to check with your credit card company to find out more about the terms associated with your card.
 
2. Add Them To Your Auto Loan (Reverse Co-Signing)
Normally when a young adult is looking for a car, they go to a dealership with their parents in hopes that they will co-sign for them. Once the young adult is denied for the loan, the parent usually steps in and saves the day by becoming a Joint Applicant on the loan. This is called “Co-Signing.”
With “Reverse Co-Signing” a few different steps take place. This will only work if the parent is in the market for a vehicle and has at least a 640 credit score or higher. Here’s how it works:
1. The parent wants  a car for themselves
2. The parent can get approved for the auto loan by themselves.
3. The parent adds the young adult to the loan even though the auto loan is for the parent.
4. The interest rate may increase as the joint applicant (the young adult) does not have any or light credit.
5. The parent makes all of the payments of course because the car is for the parent
6. That payment history shows on the young adults credit report.
7. Over time, those payments help create a healthy high credit score for the young adult.
8. When the young adult wants their own auto loan, the banks will more than likely say yes as they currently show a healthy payment history of another auto loan.
9.The young adult is happy with their new car and a co-signer was not needed during the process!
 
3. Add Them To Your Personal Loan
If a parent is looking to get a personal loan, they can add their young adult children as joint applicants as well. This process may require more paperwork, as a personal loan will go by income, W2’s, Bank Statements, and etc. In the long run, it will be well worth it and will add a healthy payment history to the young adults credit report.
 
4. Show Them How To Use A Credit Card Properly
Overall, the parent should know how to use a credit card properly but most importantly, to show their children and young adults how to do the same. This process can work for both retail credit cards and the normal bank issued credit cards as well. For the article I wrote on How Credit Cards Work, click here.
 
The Bottom Line
As a parent, you can see that there are multiple way to help your young adults build a high and strong credit score. I have seen all of these ways work in the best favor possible for the parent and young adult. There have been many cases in which I have seen scores as high as 760 and the young adult had no idea about their credit score being so high or how it got there in the first place.
 
DSC_5529 - Copy
Calvin Russell Jr is a Certified FICO Professional and the CEO & Founder of Simply Professional Credit Consultation. SP Credit Consultation has helped hundreds of people increase their credit scores, qualify for homes, cars, and lower interest rates with their personal, Step-By- Step Action Plans. Contact us today to learn more or email us at info@gosimplypro.com.

Categories
Communication Dating/Courting Engaged Marriage

Communication is Key: 6 Ways to Become a Better Communicator

Guest Writer: Holly Loube
 
1. When you notice good fruit, mention it.
The love of God in our lives causes us to bear good fruit. You know like, patience, kindness, self-control and all those things we aren’t exactly born with. As we grow in Christ, the good fruit becomes more evident. So, when you see good fruit, compliment it.
Sometimes we think good thoughts, but never actually vocalize them. Since people can’t read minds however, these thoughts need to be brought to life. (I know one thing for sure– whenever I’m eating a particularly good-looking fruit, I don’t just take a picture for Instagram…I come up with the perfect caption to describe the fruit too. Just saying.)
 
2. Bring honor back!
Sometimes we get too comfortable with people and begin to take them for granted.  Try to remain grateful that they are willing to listen and give you their attention. Talk to them how you talked to them when y’all first met. (Unless of course that was rude, in which case- abort mission!)
 
3. Retire “I told you so.”
If being right meant that much to you, you’d just be single. We shouldn’t take pride in being right. When someone apologizes for being wrong, react humbly. More than likely, there is something you could apologize for too. (Like that rude thing you said when y’all first met.)
 
4. Hope for the best, prepare for the…best.
If you go into the conversation looking for a problem, that’s just what you’ll find. Expect to have edifying conversations that mirror the gentleness and humility of Jesus. (Bonus: This tip also applies to shopping. If you walk into a store looking for the sale rack, you will find it. Warning! Avoid the display window at all costs, those are trends. You don’t need trends. YOU set trends. You are a trend.)
 
5. Sleep on it.
Think before you speak. The quickest reaction isn’t always the best reaction. In an “instant” world, we can neglect taking time to come up with an even slightly informed response. (Note: If it takes you longer to come up with an Instagram caption to perfectly describe an epic pineapple than it does to give a rational response to someone you’re committed to, well you, my friend, are in a relationship with a fruit.)
 
6. Above all, love.
Because love covers a multitude of sins. And, quite frankly, dating fruit is totally overrated.
 
 
Holly
Holly Loube is just an ordinary girl who enjoys taking long walks.  She once wandered so far off her path that light turned into darkness and she completely lost her vision. Just when she thought she would never see again, she looked up and saw Jesus. He reached for her hand and she never let it go again. Her desire is for everyone she meets to feel a sense of belonging and purpose. She enjoys juicing and eating Maryland blue crabs. She refers to her writing as “worship disguised as words.” Holly is a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend and a bride-to-be! She blogs athttp://hollylooyablog.blogspot.com/.

Categories
Home Spiritual Intimacy

4 Benefits of Praying With Your Spouse

 
Guest Writer: Nikki Walker
 
The Scriptures state that God designed and created marriage as a good thing.  It is a beautiful, priceless gift.  God uses marriage to help us multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and reap the blessings of relational intimacy. God also designed marriage for couples to pray together, establishing tender moments that are created in prayer, helping couples to grow in love and intimacy in their relationship.
When married couples pray big for their marriage together, their relationship deepens with God’s fingerprints on their lives.  Wonderful things can happen in a marriage that is built on prayer! Here are 4 benefits that come from praying big prayers for your marriage:
Prayer Humbles Couples
Prayer changes couples that pray together.  Holy moments spent before God in prayer helps to place couples and their marriage desires in proper perspective. Prayer has an awesome ability to reduce egos and adjust attitudes.
Prayer Guides Couples
When God is the center of marriages, He becomes a built in compass and guide.  God gives direction and helps couples that pray together to stay together. God speaks, teaches, and imparts His wisdom through prayer. Prayer also illuminates God’s Word for couples. When couples pray together, they are better able to maneuver through marital issues and decisions with God’s wisdom.
Prayer Helps Couples See Each Other Differently
In 2 Corinthians 5, the apostle Paul shared how Christ has changed his perspective on people.  Apostle Paul states “So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view.  At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view.  How differently we know him now!  This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.  The old life is gone; a new life has begun (vv. 16-17 NLT).”  Apostle Paul confessed that while he used to judge others based on human standards, he had stopped doing so because his love for Jesus had given him a different perspective on seeing people. As couples pray together, their view of each other will change.  Husbands and wives will learn to see each other through Jesus’ eyes, giving couples the ability to love each other how He does.
Prayer Equips Couples
The Scriptures clearly define husband and wives’ roles in marriage.  Husbands are called to love their wives just as Jesus loves them.  Wives are called to live for their husbands as they would live for Christ.  Neither of these roles comes naturally.  This is why prayer is essential in marriage.  When couples engage in prayer, God will give couples a vision for their marriage and equip them with grace to walk the vision out.
The connection that develops and grows when couples pray together deepens their love and bond with one another.  Great marriages, used mightily of God, can be made great by praying big prayers, flowing in intimacy, and yielding to one another. Regular prayer together creates a marriage that is indeed a blessing to others and God!
 
Nikki
I am a happily married wife and mother of two beautiful daughters. I have a heart for God’s people and sharing His love. My passion is writing and seeing God’s people live a life of fullness through the power of Jesus Christ.

Categories
Single

The Goodness in Singleness

 
Guest Writer: Areli Villasenor
 
There are many obvious struggles in being single, and the church sometimes aggravates the situation by telling us to guard our hearts. But let’s just face it, some of us are over here like, “well that’s easy for you to say, married person!” I have taken my time to ask a few of my single girl friends what their biggest struggle is in being single, and one of them said,  “I don’t mind being single, just show me the goodness in that season.” I totally get her. It’s hard enough to see your best friend receiving the promise before you, not that you are not happy for them, but your heart just desires to be with someone. You feel me?
 
One thing that has helped me through the single season is  knowing that God can use me in the now. Sometimes we tend to think we are not mature enough to be used, to start a ministry, or to live our biggest dream. We long to live our dreams with our future husband.  Wrong! God wants to use you now! God wants to use your struggles to help other women step into the freedom that you have found. So, I encourage you to go after your dreams. Don’t put your life or dreams on hold because you are waiting on someone to help you fulfill them. Life is short and a few years from now you will regret that you wasted your time sitting around not going after what you enjoy and desire.
 
Another thing that God has revealed to me in this season of singleness is that God has given me a sword. Let me explain a little bit more about what I mean by a sword. Lately I’ve been tired of the Disney movie theology that Christian singles have seem to adopted. We believe we are God’s princesses waiting for our prince, or shall I say our Boaz. And that’s fine, we are God’s princesses, but oh my goodness can we just talk about that? Girls, we are not called to sit here and wait for our prince. Neither are we called to sit around and wait to be pursued.
 
Say what? Okay, okay. We are called to be pursued, but not in the way we think.  Yes, we will be pursued, God willing, but it is not our life’s calling to sit and wait for a man. Yes, we are to wait, but not just for our Boaz, we are called to sit in His presence and wait to hear His voice. Instead of just waiting around for our prince like some of those Disney princesses, we are called to rise up, pick up our sword and fight against our struggles and insecurities. We are called to fight for ourselves as daughters of the most High God. We are called to fight for our freedom and fullness in Jesus.
 
As we pick up our weapons of warfare we will be strong in Him, walking in God’s fullness and joy. We will be ready for the day that a Godly man steps into our lives, so that we can run the race with him and help him fight the good fight. Our Boaz does not need a princess, rather he needs a woman of God, a mighty warrior that will help him in the battle.  So, I encourage you beautiful woman, mighty warrior of God, pick up your weapon of choice and fight for your dreams, fight for your healing, your passions, overcome your insecurities, and be filled with God, for there is nothing or no one better than Jesus.
 
Areli
 
I am 27 years old currently completing a Masters degree in Counseling at Dallas Baptist University. I graduated from Christ for the Nations in 2010 with a degree in theology and youth ministry. I am passionate and hungry for the things of Jesus. Because of my past struggles with relationships and insecurities, God has given me the desire to see women overcome their barriers and come together in unity. One of my biggest desires is to help women see that God has given them each a sword to rise up as warriors in order to advance the Kingdom of God. I also have a huge heart for the nations, so I enjoy learning and meeting people from other cultures. It is my deepest desires to impact the nations. I have been a dancer since I was 5 years old, and I enjoy teaching dance and prophetic dancing. I love fashion, food, pioneering, and hanging out with family and friends. I live in freedom!

Categories
Communication

The Power of Reminders: 4 Ways to Stay Present & Stay Thankful

 
Guest Writer: Marymagdaline Onyango
 
I have a few daily reminders that I set on my phone to keep me thankful and present. It is always helpful to have reminders that keep you cognizant of what is most important throughout your day. These four reminders pop up on my cell-phone screen throughout my day:
 
1. Trust God.
Throughout the day, especially as I am heading to work, I have to remind myself that when I face challenges, or I’m not sure what exactly I should be doing, all I need to do is trust God. If I am obedient to Him, if I always listen and talk to the Lord and the Holy Spirit, I know that I am always protected. He’s got my back and we are in this together. I can’t go back and do it right the second time, this is it. That is why relying on God and trusting in Him is so important; I have to allow him to guide me. This alarm goes off multiple times a day, the first being right when I start my work day.
 
2. Submit to God, NOT your feelings and Flesh (!!!)
This reminder gets three explanation points. I have to remember to die to my flesh daily, and refuse to let the devil win. One thing I’ve realized is that the more and more I become comfortable in the word and with Christ and submitting in my relationship; the more and more the devil tries to infiltrate my life. When he sees you coming closer to fulfilling that purpose, and the devil wants you to fail. Sometimes I have to yell at the devil and bring in my Armor (Ephesians 6 10:18). Literally, I’ll be at a stoplight, I’ll hear the devil trying to infiltrate my thoughts and l will say out loud in the car, “nope, not today and not ever devil.” Then in my mind, I have this whole armor around me which brings me peace.
 
3. Reminders for my fiancé.
It’s important to me that I speak to my fiancé in his love language, making sure to continually love and support him always. Speaking and expressing my care for him in his love language is very important to me, this is why I have little reminders in my phone to do just that. It shouldn’t be used as a daily job, or the only way you express love in your partner’s love language, but more as a fun surprise for both you and him. I’ve set this reminder up for many different times and various days. The same reminder is not set for every day, as it would become monotonous to me if it was. They are random, which keeps things fun. I didn’t want it to come off as calculated or an obligation, but rather a reminder of what our love has done in my life and how thankful and appreciative I am. These reminders on your phone can take various forms, and it is important to do so in a way that reminds you to be thankful, trust God and love the love God has blessed you with.
 
4. Read and Pray.
As we get closer to our wedding date, we both wanted to make sure that we were continuing to align ourselves with God. Reading the bible and praying are an integral part of keeping that alignment. I set this reminder for right when I’m winding down at night. For some people this may work best in the morning. This is time I use to finish a bible study plan, or commit to a 21 day reading fast, or simply spend time with God. It’s nice that no matter where I am, and that reminder pops up on my phone, I know I need to stop whatever I’m doing and spend that quality time with Him.
 
I encourage you today to decide what is important to you and your season and set reminders on your phone to make sure you are staying focused on those things! Our phone is something we always have on us, so let’s use that for to our advantage and for our growth.
 
MaryMagdalane
Born and raised in Virginia, with deep Kenyan roots, Marymagdaline has always considered herself a lover of two homes, one in East Africa and the other in Virginia. A recent graduate from the University of Virginia with a Bachelors of Arts in African and African American Studies and Foreign Affairs with an African Concentration, she now lives in the Washington, DC area working in the non-profit sector. She has a passion for young women and girls and has traveled to Trinidad, Australia, Dominican Republic, Kenya, India, and Europe to volunteer and connect with women across the globe. Since graduation her heart was convicted by the Lord to start her blog www.prayactthink.com to help and minister to young women through her life experiences and the word of the Lord. She met her now Fiancé a few years ago, right when God knew she needed him the most, and will soon be married. They both love to guide and mentor others to help them fulfill their God-led purpose.