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3 Signs Its Time To Stop Paying Rent & Purchase A Home

Guest Writer: Calvin Russel Jr
Right now is the PERFECT time to purchase a home. Mortgage rates are still at an all time low and the banks are becoming more lenient on the qualifications to get a mortgage loan. Many current tenants are thinking of making the move to become home owners, but they are not quite sure if it is the right time. Take a look at these signs as it may describe your current situation.

 
 

1. Your Rent Payments Are Equivalent To Mortgage Payments
This is the number one sign, as this is always the tipping point for most renters. I remember when I was working one day at the dealership and I asked my customer a series of questions related to their auto loan approval. One of the questions were, “What is your current rent/mortgage payment per month?” They answered “$850!” Yes, $850!!! At the time, my wife and I were paying a little more than that for a nice apartment in a nice area. It was at that moment I began to ask myself, “Where do all of my rent payments go each month?” It was also at that moment that I decided to become qualified for a mortgage loan. 
Most rent payments are extremely close to that of a mortgage payment. Mortgage payments can be under $1000/month for a lot of reasons. The homeowner could have placed a nice down payment, they could have re-financed, they could be living in a low cost neighborhood, or they simply could have found a great deal on a property. Many tenants think most mortgages are between $1500-$2500 when that is not the case at all. Most residential homes for middle income Americans range from $125k-$175k, and could be lower depending on the state. That creates a mortgage anywhere from $800/month-$1400/month with today’s mortgage rates.

 

 
2. Your Neighbors Aren’t The Best
You gotta love the alarm clocks that never get shut off in the morning from your neighbor. Or what about the one who always decides to wash their clothes past the allowed time notice. Or the kids who sleep in a bedroom right above yours and it seems like there is always a wrestling match on their floor. Or what about the one who always has company over to hammer a few things on the wall…….every night……..if you know what I mean lol. Either way, your neighbors keep doing things that either upset you or irritate you. We didn’t even discuss the major ones such as: Arguing couples, constant smoke alarms, the smell of cannibus under the door, loud music and parties, constant furniture moving, and I could go on and on! Most of the minor things we all have dealt with only because the situation is not big enough to complain to the landlord about. One thing for sure is that its easier to change what YOU CAN control vs trying to change something YOU CAN’T control.
 
 
3. Your Landlord Is Really A Slumlord
That moment when you call your landlord about a problem you are having in your apartment  that needs to be fixed…………..and they said they would fix it months earlier. Or what about the so called “Free Heat” but the temperature feels like 60 degrees inside the apartment during the winter. Wait, what about the time your landlord asked you to pay rent a couple of days EARLY for no reason at all! Or maybe the time you came home and you noticed your apartment had been entered by someone else and could possibly be the landlord! Yeah, that my friend is a slumlord! Things never get fixed and complaints never get addressed. But you deal with it. Why? Because its easier to live under someone else’s rules and building than your own right? With a home, you will have to maintain it yes, but at least its your home. You may have your own gas bill, but at least you can control the heat to your liking. Ditch the slumlord and qualify for your own mortgage!
 
The Bottom Line
As a good or great tenant, I am sure you have thought about the idea of home ownership. Let these 3 signs push you in the right direction of getting that loan pre-approval. I myself know the feeling of dealing with some tenant issues of my own and also dreading the pre-approval process. Credit is a big deal and it is needed to finance a home. Be sure to visit my website and see if there is a package with your name on it. 
If you are looking to purchase a home in next 1-2 years, I strongly recommend enrolling in our 12 Month Boot Camp to get you qualified and educated on the home buying process. Click Here for more information.
 
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Calvin Russell Jr is a Certified FICO Professional and the CEO & Founder of Simply Professional Credit Consultation. SP Credit Consultation has helped hundreds of people increase their credit scores, qualify for homes, cars, and lower interest rates with their personal, Step-By- Step Action Plans. Contact us today to learn more or email us at info@gosimplypro.com.

 

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Home

4 Ways to Survive the Storm

 
Guest Contributor:  Rutchelle Alexandre
 
No one ever EVER said the Christian walk would be easy, and we all ending up facing tough times. It’s almost inevitable, and for the most part unavoidable. We’ve all been through trials that test not only our character, but our will power. We face storms that have left us weary, and storms that have even made us reconsider our walk with Christ. Heck, half of the storms I’ve encountered I’m surprised that I even survived!
 
All the glory to God, because he will never leave his children, even when we think he has left us, he’s still there. If you surrender and allow God to take control during the stormy seasons, and fully trust in him, your outlook on life will never be the same.
 
Two important things you must know in general is that: (1) God is always in control and he will never leave you or forsake you. Just like Jesus calmed the storm when Peter and some of the disciples were in the Sea of Galilee. He is able to calm our storms. A lot of us allow the storms to drown us, throwing in the towel, as if God isn’t standing right there waiting for us to tag him in. (2)We can fight! God has equipped us to do so. His word says that he will never give us more than we can bear. Question is; how do you fight? How do you make it through those days when your heart can’t find the words to even pray? Remember that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
 
That being said, whether it’s spiritual warfare, trials and tribulations, or demonic oppression, it is vital to know the steps needed in order to be victorious. I have four steps I want to discuss:
 
 
1. Rebuking/Casting out-
The last thing you would want during a storm is to allow Satan to have his way. Example: if you are going through some kind of financial drought, and God says He will provide, rebuke doubt when it comes to attack! Rebuke and cast out all unhealthy emotions and discouragement. Rebuke and cast out all thoughts that are contrary to what the word of God says. Your mind must be protected. It’s already hard enough that you’re going through it, but having your helmet of salvation and properly rebuking is a definite must.
 
2. Be alert-
In the natural when there’s a storm coming your way, usually one makes the necessary preparations right? Same goes for the spiritual. Stay connected to the source. The source is God, therefore when you see signs of an approaching spiritual storm, get ready for battle. Pay attention to your prayer life, to your spiritual growth, to your relationship with God. Always be prepared and aware that the enemy does not sleep, neither should the children of God. You have to stay connected, and make sure you’re getting your daily fill.
 
3. Getting your daily fill-
As humans, we need to be in communication with those we love. Same goes for your relationship with God, especially in such crucial times. Worship him, have quiet time, rest in his presence, allow his spirit to pour down upon you. Read your word, the word is our daily bread (and sword). As humans we need food to survive, therefore as Christians we need  the word of God to survive, and fight effectively.
 
4. Pray, pray, pray!-
Do not stop praying. There is so much power in prayer. Prayer is not just you communicating with your Father, it’s also Him communicating with you. It’s that place of surrender, that secret place with him, that place of revelation. Prayer can cause breakthroughs, and heal you, and so much more. Pray without ceasing! When you pray with faith, and allow the Holy Spirit to intercede, mountains will tremble, and you best believe God hears our prayers and will make a way in his timing.
 
Whoever this is for, you can get through the storm. Storms make us stronger, they create endurance in us. No matter the storm, just know that you are not alone, and that the war has already been won, we just have to fight the battle, God is with you, and he will fight for you, if you let him. Stay blessed.
 
Me
Rutchelle Alexandre is a recent alumni from Regis College, where she got her Bachelors in English and writing. She resides in the New England area. Rutchelle plans on attending divinity school, as well as obtaining her Masters degree in education. She serves faithfully at her local church, and is currently working on a novel. Rutchelle enjoys nature, poetry, traveling, and the simple things in life.

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Parenting

3 Benefits of Enrolling Your Child in Summer Camp

School is out, bags are being packed, and travel plans are being made or fulfilled. Summer time is a time of fun for children! I have some of my fondest memories from my summer breaks. Little did I know that these breaks were often times stressful and worry-filled for my parents. Before I was of an age to stay at home by myself, the main concern that my parents had was safe, sound, and affordable supervision.
 
It was relatively easy to find some sort of program for me to attend during the day because I was an athlete. Basketball and football camps are prevalent and in demand during the summer months and obviously beneficial.  However, what options are available to the parents of children who are not athletically inclined? I have one answer: SUMMER CAMP!
Some children and parents have abstentions with summer camp. It can be scary. It can be costly. It can be inconvenient, especially if the location is far from mom and/or dad’s job or the home.
So to put parents at ease about summer camp, below are 3 benefits of children and teens attending summer camp:

  1. Supervision! This is the most obvious reason. Children and teens are in constant need of guidance, supervision, and boundaries. These, among academic excellence and intellectual stimulation, are primarily the central responsibilities of school. However, the research is clear that children/teens need consistency and summer camp can be a fun and less rigorous extension of school.
  1. Teaches interpersonal skills. Summer camp is usually a grouping of children from varied backgrounds and upbringings. If this is not the case, make it a point to place your children in an ethnically diverse environment. The world is not a silo and interacting with their peers in camp will let children gain experience and much need exposure to different cultures and mindsets.

Important Note: Although all summer camps should promote teamwork, acceptance, and tolerance, a diverse camp can teach campers how to communicate effectively in unfamiliar environments and situations.
Often times there are language barriers, intellectual differences, economic barriers and the like that would otherwise limit communication. However, in a group environment such as camp, these limits can become opportunities for growth! Skills such as these are an integral part of the maturation process to adulthood!

  1. Enrichment activities: Summer camps provide a host of academic and social activities that are designed to keep children’s development on par with their appropriate grade levels. Often times, what makes camp more enjoyable are the exposure to other activities that aren’t explored as much during the school year. For example, fine arts are being pushed further and further out of public school and summer camp is a way to supplement that deficiency. In fact there are camps that are built around fine arts and other activities such as dance, culture, language, sports, art, singing, etc.

Now this all sounds good right? Of course it does! But there may be some hesitation to enroll your child if the price of camps are problematic, which is understandable. So here are some tips that may help subsidize the costs and allow your young ones to grow and explore in new ways.
1. Save throughout the year. Create a budget that will allow you to put back money every pay period to pay for summer camp.

  1. Research child subsidy programs in your city/county/state/country that will assist in paying for summer camp or child care. Contact governmental agencies such as the Department of Health and Human Services and Administration for Children and Families.
  1. Seek out camps with scholarship opportunities. Many times church camps and non-profit organizations receive grant money that will pay for the entire program or give scholarships to families in need.

Whatever method you decide, it’s a great investment and beautiful experience for lifelong memories! Simply put, summer camp is AMAZING!!!
 

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Finances Marriage

6 Steps to Planning the Ultimate STAYcation Saving You A LOT of Money

Awe, summer is upon us and we have made it through the color of fall, the freeze of winter, and the unpredictability of spring. But summer is a whole different can of worms. A few things we know about summer is: it will be HOT, there will be block buster movie releases, our kids will be out of school, there will be countless road trips, weddings and family reunions documented on social media and our professional office environments may present a sliding scale of co-worker attendance who have opted to partake in the summer fun.
And then there is you. You and the spouse have talked about getting away for a trip or two throughout the year, but it never has happened.
Enter the stay-cation (the local vacation).
This year you are determined to not only to take some sort of vacation, but make a plan, keep the plan, and do it. Of course, because it is already July, Jamaica or Cozumel may not be in the budget, but there are a few things that can be done for the spontaneous and or budget conscious traveler.
It is called the Stay-cation or local vacay! And what a jewel it is indeed! Of course before you go running through your city streets claiming to indulge in one of these gems, some planning may be required for you and your family. Here are some tips on how to plan and pull off the ultimate in-town retreat!

  1. Decide the goal of the stay-cation. Whether it is to unplug and unwind, rekindle, catch-up, or cuddle up, between you and your spouse, this decision should be made and agreed to so that all agendas are cleared from interruption and all intentions are clarified from the beginning to avoid confusion.
  1. Decide where in-town you want to go (city or suburbs). This is big because this determines how far away you want to travel if you live in a bigger city or wouldn’t mind journeying an hour or two down the highway to feel like you’re in a new place. This is also important if you want just spouse to spouse time or family time, meaning if you have children to consider and may need a sitter you may not feel comfortable straying too far.
  1. Decide on activities. This is a biggie. What are the activities that you want to do together or as a family that you just haven’t had time for but would possibly do if you went a vacation elsewhere. Could it be going to the movies, indulging in a spa day, checking out an exhibit at a museum, going to a lounge to hear good music or check out a concert that will be in your area, or the simplest of them all just stay in bed all weekend with no agenda or schedule.
  1. Decide and commit on budget for activities and if possible plan ahead. Spontaneity is great but it’s not fun taking your spouse out of the house for a weekend and you have to remain on a super tight or low budget. There is nothing wrong with budgeting but for some people, they would prefer to do things at home if there is a constraint.
  1. Discuss strategy for childcare if applicable: will the child or children be in town during the summer, or will they be away with a friend or family member. This is important because if the child takes summer trips too it may be a good idea for spouse to vacay while the child is away.
  1. Decide the frequency of the stay-cation. Yes, frequency! With things such as time and budget constraints or childcare to consider, the stay action may the best and most feasible plan for family vacation or weekend getaways with your spouse. So with that in mind, the frequency is left up to you to decide. It could be one epic summer vacay weekend that you tackle a few bucket list items at a time, or it can be a commitment to break from the norm each quarter or season of the year to spend that QT with your baby, or it could be just one night once a month to just get away.

Again, it’s whatever you and the spouse decide, BUT whatever you decide make sure that the enthusiasm and/or willingness about your stay-cation choice is met equally from both sides! Happy Planning!

Categories
Marriage Physical Intimacy

What Happened When We Went 15 Days Without Sex

A few years ago when I was adamant about studying marriage in the bible, I came across a scripture that made me raise my eyebrows, “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that satan will not temp you because of your lack of self control.“ (1 Corinthians 7:5).
My then carnal mind could not understand deprivation with mutual consent to devote to prayer. Why would anyone want to not have sex with their spouse? Aren’t we supposed to be fruitful and multiply? What I didn’t get was that though my husband is the head of this family, God is the head of our lives. We have to be able to sacrifice absolutely everything for Him.
Recently, I asked my husband to conduct a project with me. I wanted to follow the scripture to see how it affects our marriage and document it.
My husband and I love each other immensely, so when I asked him to do this for me he agreed: 15 days, no sex, then 15 days of sex. The first couple of days were difficult because we are normally intimate every other night.
It was also trying because our communication seemed to be thrown off as well and we were clashing on small things. One night I began feeling the pressure of not being intimate not only sexually, but spiritually. I decided to pray, and pray hard, and God revealed something to me. We were not fully committing to the scripture.
 
All we did was eliminate sex, but we did not use that time to devote to seeking God. We should have used that time to pray together and to wait on God. We didn’t realize that we were supposed to treat this as fasting from sex, not starve ourselves altogether. “Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers. Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high.” (Isaiah 58:4)
 
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The issue was that we were doing as we pleased during our time of fasting. Instead of having sex, we were watching TV. We worked and we spent time with our daughter, but we did not spend more time with God.
Once we realized that we weren’t fasting for the right reasons or in the right way and began to use the fast to seek God, we were able to understand each other and connect on a greater level. We were on the same page and were even able to come up with a business plan for the business we had been trying to create for many years.
At first the fast seemed to be tearing us apart and pulling us further away from each other intimately. But, after we began to not only fast from sex, but actually implement prayer time as well, I saw such a shift in our marriage.
 
Now that we are acknowledging God as the head of our marriage, prayer has become a major communication tool and a key to our intimacy. When we are not intimate with each other physically, we know that we have to spend that time being intimate spiritually by devoting ourselves to communicating with Christ; that’s the only way the fast works. The point of a fast is not to simply remove something from your life, but rather to remove a distraction so that you can press your focus fully into Christ.
 
Once we shifted our focus on Christ, we saw a great increase in our spiritual intimacy. If you and your spouse are struggling with spiritual intimacy, try fasting from sexual intimacy for a time in order to focus solely on your spiritual relationship.
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Communication Marriage

3 Common Mistakes Christian Husbands Make

 
I’m her husband. I truly try to invest into my marriage, but I’m also 100% fallible and notoriously accident prone. One time when we were courting, we strolled under a canopy of trees as gale-force winds took down several branches. Sarah watched helplessly as a thick, seven foot limb plummeted towards me. She shrieked, and I obliviously took three large strides forward as the monstrous limb shattered only feet behind me.
 
Similarly, I would say that many husbands, yes, even Christian husbands cluelessly gallivant through their marriages, narrowly escaping disaster with no one to thank but the Lord Himself. We mean well and try hard, but sometimes fail.
 
 
These three mistakes are all too common among Christian husbands:
 
1. Being too passive. Passivity is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. For a plethora of causes, husbands are passive in their spiritual leadership, passive in their jobs, passive in their household responsibilities, or passive towards their wives. A passive man is like an aloof man walking under dead limbs on a windy day.
As Christian husbands, we sometimes fail to rise to a challenge by refusing to confront what keeps us, our wives, or our families from growing in the Lord, all in the name of waiting for it to “pan out.” Some trials call for us to “wake” Jesus to calm the storm; other times demand that we command the mountain to be removed. (Mk. 4:35-41, Mk. 11:23) Whatever it is, men (and women) of God need to be bold as lions! (Proverbs 28:1)
 
 
2. Being too aggressive. When we were in Bible school, my wife was immersed full-time in corporate America and I went to Bible school full-time and worked 24-30 hours a week. My wife was removed from the “spiritual bubble” that I was in. As I was pumped full of faith and boldness, my wife felt spiritually malnourished and exhausted. “Have no fear, I’ll save you!” I thought. I rushed in and force-fed my wife with power-packed sermons. One day, in her exasperation, she said to me, “Dan, I don’t need a pastor, I need a husband.” Boldness is not synonymous with hardness. No, she doesn’t want you to lambast her with out-of-context Scriptures, but she does want you to nurture her, cover her, and demonstrate true sincerity and pure devotion in your love for her. There are times when she needs the bold warrior in you to rise up and slay dragons; just don’t assume that it’s every time.
 
 
3. Being too “optimistic.” I’ve heard many Christian wives complain about their husbands’ inability to face trials because they adapt an escapist’s Christianity, meaning they refuse to deal with shortfalls in their personal lives, children’s lives, or marriages, and they chalk it up to “God has it under control.” In the context of marriage, husbands are often guilty of getting out the “repair kit” and “fixing” the problems at hand, rather than slowing down and asking the Lord what He desires to accomplish.
Yes, friends, God does have it under control, but He also dispatched His remnant on planet earth to represent His heart for the nations and champion victory in our lives! “False optimism” often has its root in passivity. So, the next time you watch your house descend into chaos, remember that the Lord is counting on you to restore order and tranquility to your home.
I Timothy 3: 4-5 – “He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?)”
 
 
Question: What do you think? What mistakes do you see yourself making as a Christian husband, or what mistakes do you see Christian husbands making?
 
 

Categories
Communication Marriage

The Prideful Marriage: How To Know If You Are In One

 
Have you noticed the underlying theme in marriage vows?  Although a lot of people write their own marriage vows today, the traditional one says, “I take thee, (spouse), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…”
 
I see a theme of humility in these vows–a mutual humility.  Humility in marriage is unfortunately a rarity today . But, I think the best and strongest marriages have a foundation of mutual humility–an attitude that thinks more highly of the other person than of oneself, an attitude that is willing to listen, defer, please and respect the other.
 
I wrote a blog post several weeks ago and one of the reactions I suspected I might see was Pride. There were several people who commented there was no way they thought a man should ever train their wife, even though I shared in the comments the power of how my wife trains me. I had other people immediately message me privately and tell me that training is the wrong word and that I should have used another word.
 
I challenged that assertion because I don’t want such a great word as training to be hijacked.  Training is simply instructing and assisting someone who wants to become better at something.  Several people shared with me that they realized the reason they didn’t like the word train was because they were prideful. A couple individuals even said that after thinking about it more, they went to their spouses, and even  told their spouses, that they are open to be trained by their spouse.
 
That is beautiful.  Do you see the power in that statement “They are open.”
 
The greatest employees I’ve worked with were also the most humble people I worked with.  Two people come to mind first, and they are both unbelievably successful now, which I could foresee over a decade ago.  They exuded humility because they would often come into my meetings and say words like this, “What do I need to improve on?”  “Is there anything you think I should change or focus more on?”  “Give me the truth, how was that last session I led, etc?” They showed that they were humble, wanted to grow, and were willing to be trained. They were open to input from others. Do you have that same spirit in your marriage?
 
Men, if you were to ask your wife to rate you on a scale of 1-10 on your pride vs. teachability in marriage, what would she give you?  Find a time this week to ask her.
 
 
Here are 2 ways to know if you are bringing pride into your Marriage:
 
1. Have you ever said comments like this:
I’m not going to spend my whole life being corrected.
I’m an independent person.
I don’t need anyone to teach me anything.
I’ve already heard this before.
Don’t tell me how to live my life.
You’re always correcting me. Focus on yourself instead of me.
Yes, I am playing video games, but you go shopping all the time.
 
These comments show a closed heart of pride, an unwillingness to consider someone else’s input, and an underlying suspicion that anyone who offers advice or assistance is doing so because of ill-intent. Instead determine to have these words on your lips:
 
Thank you for loving me enough to share that with me.
What wisdom do you see that I’m lacking in this area?
I failed you again, but I’m committed to learning, growing, and changing.
Please help me by sharing what you feel I need to change.
Thank you.
What do you think should I do?
 
2. You are agitated, irritable, and often defensive with your spouse
Guys, it is awesome that your wife is different than you!  It is good that she thinks differently and has unique gifts and differing strengths than you.  Value those differences instead letting frustration or pride grow because of them.  For example, instead of wishing she was more organized, be grateful that she is a gifted leader. Instead of wishing she didn’t bring up your spending habits, be grateful that she cares enough about the family finances to want to help you with it.  Instead of hoping she doesn’t ask about your lack of interaction with the kids, be grateful God has given you someone to challenge you to be a greater dad than you were yesterday.
Repent of being irritable and defensive to your spouse and start to focus on the strengths she has that you don’t.  Pride will slowly start to melt in your life if you do this.
 
 
If at some point during the reading of this post, you  may have become angry at the words written. If so, that is a good indicator that pride is alive in your life. If it is in your life, then it probably it is in your marriage.
Question: What day this week are you going to ask your spouse about the Pride in your marriage?
 
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

5 Ways to Get Over the Person Who Left You

A few weeks ago I decided to take a stroll down memory lane, reflecting on all my past relationship/situationships. As I struggled to recall details of past relationships, I realized “God favored me”. I, like most people, have dealt with situations that had the potential to leave me deep in a depression, with low self-esteem, and perhaps even suicidal.
 
But some how, I escaped with small traces of low-self esteem and a tad bit of sadness, which faded away with time.
 
Reflecting on this, I thought I’d share how I got over the ones who left me:
 
 
1. Make Up Your Mind!
The bible lets us know that a double minded man is unstable in all his ways! You have to make a decision that you are done, and refuse to go back. It’s simple, either you are completely done or you’re not. If you’re not, stop reading (lol).
 
2. Eliminate All Means of Communication.
Nope, you can’t be friends. Sorry! In this stage of vulnerability, it’s imperative that you separate yourself. With one ex, I actually deleted my twitter because it’s origin was to keep an eye on him. I brought a new phone because we used BBM a lot, and I blocked his post from my newsfeed on FB.
I was hopeful that one day we could be friends, so I didn’t want to defriend him totally. Don’t accept the phone call or text. Communication is a way of keeping your heart involved, even when you think you aren’t.
 
3. Worship.
Worship is the BEST way to turn your heart towards God. Spending time with the mender of broken hearts will ensure the pain eventually fades.
 
4. Pray.
Duh, right! But many can’t pray effective prayers because they haven’t made a decision (see point 1). I would encourage whomever this blog is for to pray this, or a similar prayer: “Lord, clear my mind of every negative memory and remove every spiritual attachment. In my experience, these are the two areas that are the most haunting.
 
5. TURN UP!
Well, not literally! Turn up as in, enjoy life! Time waits for no man; therefore, you cant afford to spend a day, a week, or even a year in sadness. The more time you waste, the less effective you are in moving the cross. I don’t know about you, but I would rather move mountains for the one who gave his WHOLE life for me than waste precious time dwelling on the one who left!
 
I hope I haven’t given the impression that getting over someone you genuinely loved is as easy as 1,2,3 because its not. On the other hand, with God nothing is impossible!
 
XOXO,
Shannon C Colar
Lovebyencouragement.com

Categories
Finances

5 Reasons Why God Wants You to be Wealthy

Categories
Engaged Home Marriage

How to Let Your Man Lead You

One question I always get is how do I let my husband lead me? Usually, the issue is the husband may be an unbeliever or he may have a laid back personality. There are several things that strong women can do to make sure their husbands feel able and free to lead them.  I will share some below.
 
1.  Learn his leadership Style– Not everyone leads the same way; it is important to learn his leadership style. It may be different than yours,  but choose to learn it and allow him to lead the way he knows how.
 
2. Check yourself- Do you always want things done your way? Do you get upset when things do not look like what you want them to look like? You really need to get to the root issue of your own actions. Some of us like to say we are “Type A,” but in reality  we are actually controlling. There is a difference between the two and we need to check it, especially if we are married.
 
3. Make space for him to lead- Often times men won’t lead unless we create space for them to lead. We always want things done a certain way or done when we want them to be done. When we act this way, we are not making room for him to lead.
 
4. Allow him to make mistakes- You need to be aware that leading and being the head of a relationship is very scary. Help your man understand how much you love him and support him; let him know that he does not need to do everything perfectly, he just needs to try.
 
5. Learn each other’s strengths- If you guys can understand each other’s strength, you can then see who is best at leading what. One may be good at accounting, another at organizing trips, etc. Learn what each of you do well, and work together on leading that.
 
6. Pray for him- Pray that God will give him wisdom to make good decision and  continuously cover him. The Holy Spirit can teach him how to lead you.
 
7. Be patient- Remember, things take time. People need time to shift into new behaviors. If you have a discussion about changes that both of you are going to put into action, allow each other time to grow into your new roles.