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Marriage

5 Reasons Why The Currys are Relationship Goals

Since second-time, MVP Stephen Curry’s balling skills came to the NBA forefront, he’s been all the rage. Not only has he demonstrated superb talent on the court but a love for God and family that is rarely seen on the sidelines. Not to mention,  he allows his spunky daughter to steal his shine and has a supportive wife to have his back when the haters call, is deserving of cool points. Many have called their love “relationship goals” which I concur. In recent months they’ve been at the center of silly Memes and clap back Tweets. I guess when you receive that much attention you must be doing something right. I’m really impressed by this wholesome and humble couple and I love their love. Which is why I’ve gathered together the 5 reasons why the Currys are relationship goals.
1. They Met in Church:  Church has always been known as the ideal place to find a good mate, especially as a Christian; however it  almost sounds cliché ’cause it isn’t  always likely. However, the two actually met each other through their church’s youth group and what better place to meet your spouse than the at the Lord’s house?
2. They Put God First: Which comes as no surprise given that they met each other at church. However, they are not afraid to speak publicly about their faith and how God deserves all the glory; and when God is at the center of your life and your relationship, it’s bound to succeed.
3.  Their Love of Family: They clearly demonstrate their love and support for each other- Ayesha cheering him on during his games and bringing their girls along, is a special sight to see and I’m sure helps keep him humble.
4. Their Individual Success: They both have their individual talents and success, which I believe is important in a relationship, so you don’t feel like you’re being overshadowed by your partner. Steph’s skills obviously lie on the court while Ayesha is not solely known for being his wife, but she also has her own brand centered around her passion for cooking. She will be coming out with her very own cooking show and a pop-up restaurant showcasing her skills.
5. They Stay Classy: Although Tweeting can be hard to resist when it seems people want to tear you down for no reason; they both keep it classy even when they’re the center of negative attention. They don’t attack back by resorting to distasteful words (well except for the time Ayesha claimed the NBA was rigged lol) but it’s okay, she apologized, and no one is perfect. All the while their love of God, family, and each other still remains. Now how’s that for Relationship Goals?

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

How Grief Affects Your Relationships

by Raven Evans
Unbeknownst to many folk, grief is the common factor in most relationship issues that couples face on a regular basis. However, grief has a silver lining. God created grief with good intentions; he wanted us to feel it and overcome it. The problem with this unbearable sadness is that many stay stuck on the wrong side of it, never healing from the initial effects.
 
Grief is our natural reaction to loss and as humans, loss is inevitable. It starts when we leave the birth canal and enter into a world of unfamiliarity; the environment around us is no longer the comfortable womb that we have been in for the past nine months. We must now adapt to new sounds, voices, images, feelings, and surroundings. All humans go through this process and it is not an uncommon experience; even as infants, we grieve over our losses. Grief encourages us to understand and overcome our emotions in a healthy way by helping us adjust to the constant changes in environment, which life always brings; it helps us to evolve as God intended.
Most of us are not still upset over what happened at birth, but we are still grieving over our traumatic childhood experiences, especially when it comes to how we interact with others. These past events are affecting our ability to have healthy and stable relationships in the present. The seeds of rejection, disappointment, and negative emotions, which are often planted in childhood, come to fruition during our adult life. These seeds lead to insecurity, instability, and emotional distress during our daily lives.
You are probably still grieving over each failed relationship from your early days and the pattern that has emerged in your daily interactions is a byproduct of that grief. You may be finding it difficult to have lasting romantic relationships. Your soul is still comparing your previous relationships to your current one or the one that you are actively pursuing. Therefore, you may be experiencing subconscious feelings of being dropped or rejected, feelings of panic, and fears of being heartbroken. These negative expectations cause you to react poorly, which in turn will hinder your ability to have a healthy and fruitful relationship.
You may find yourself wondering where your downfall began. Was it the childhood boyfriend or girlfriend that moved away for good? Was it a really bad break up from the “puppy love” you fell in during junior high? You need to process these feelings in your adult life no matter how minor they may seem to your current state of mind.

  • Open your journal and begin writing your feelings, reliving your past moments, and letting yourself experience the situation one more time.
  • Look for patterns in your failed relationships.
  • Think about how you felt when they left you, disappointed you, or broke up with you.

What did you do about those feelings? Did you ever work through them or did you just forget them, push them aside, and move on to the next relationship?
When you don’t deal with the emotions attached to each situation, you allow toxicities to take over your soul. 
After writing it out, ask God for help to heal the broken areas of your heart. Ask God to fix the wound that grief has left upon your soul. It is not going to be easy reliving your past experiences, but it will be highly beneficial to the health of your current or future relationships. Unhealed grief can cause further trauma in your life. Don’t miss out on a beautiful relationship that God wants to bless you with by keeping grief alive in your heart! Ask Him for help and you will recover!

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Marriage

Relationship Goals= Compatible Callings

Happy to be together. Handsome young man piggybacking beautiful woman and smiling while standing against grey background

Are we compatible?

Western Christian culture may or may not have adapted a “caste system,” in regards to what we know and identify as our calling. Some believe that their future spouse needs to perfectly align with their calling.
We see it all the time: Pastors should marry beautiful wives who can sing, pray, or teach children, right? Oh, and a guitar-playing, worship-leading guy needs to marry a piano-savvy woman.
Someone I know feels called to a particular field of world missions and insists that their future spouse have the same exact call to the same exact group of people. Is it wrong to desire someone like-minded and like-hearted? Of course not! But we probably don’t need to be so stringent about whom we allow into our inner circle of compatibility.

Two hearts, One Vision

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul addresses the issue with regards to believers being “yoked” (bound, committed to) with unbelievers. But what about marriage between believers? Should people marry someone with the same vocational interests, or does this great mystery of calling go beyond the income source?
Do musicians have to marry musicians? No! But a person called to live in and minister in Ghana may encounter some friction if the person they are engaged to feels called to be a full-time library clerk in their northwestern Boston commonwealth.

Godly Vision

It is absolutely possible for a youth pastor and high school teacher to find love in one another. The crux of the issue is vision.
These five guidelines may help couples be compatible, blend their unique callings, and use them together for the Kingdom:

  1. Love for one another’s purpose. My wife has always been supportive of what I believe the Lord has created me to be. God’s call on an individual’s life far surpasses a job title. It has everything to do with who a person is called to be. I love my wife’s unique set of gifts, and she loves mine. We honor what God has chosen to deposit in one another.
  2. Ability to fit two distinct purposes into one marriage. There is a very Kingdom reason that the Lord brought you and your spouse together. My wife’s gift of music and leading others into God’s presence flows well with my gift of discipleship and mentoring. A couple does not need the same job description in order to flow in divine gifts together to benefit the Kingdom.
  3. No resentment when one succeeds. Some friends of ours are both musically gifted. The husband enthusiastically supported his wife as she pursued country music. Quietly in the background, the husband began writing songs to the Lord. Soon, the worldwide Church began to sing his songs. This loving wife celebrated her husband’s anointing without glaring disparagingly at her husband’s discovered anointing. Competition for prominence between spouses is unhealthy. Celebrate when your spouse gets promoted for his or her gifts.
  4. No “surprise callings.” Don’t wait until the honeymoon to tell your spouse, “Oh, by the way, hon, I believe the Lord wants me to travel to Mars in the first manned mission.” My wife and I joked about how wild our life together in ministry would be, and we have enjoyed the journey ever since!
  5. Able to move as one. It is also crucial to be able to flow, as one, in your life together. You don’t have to have the same career but know your gifts, where you’re going, and how to blend your unique gifts to accomplish the purpose for which the Lord has brought you together!

How do you and your spouse’s unique gifts complement one another?
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

8 Questions to Ask Singles Besides "Are You Dating Anyone?"

Categories
Finances

Unless You Plan On Paying, Think Twice Before Co-Signing

by Calvin Russel Jr.
I know many of you have been waiting on me to go over this topic. This topic is one of the most important financial decisions most consumers make. Some make this decision for their children, spouse, significant other, or simply a friend. I will go over the best scenarios of when you should and shouldn’t co-sign.
What Does It Mean To Co-Sign?
I must go over this first as a lot people have very bad information on what it truly means to co-sign for someone. A Co-Signer or Joint Applicant is someone that is responsible for their share of the liability. For example, if you co-sign for your sister so she can be approved for a vehicle, apartment, credit card, furniture,  or anything that expects monthly payments or rent, then you are 50% liable  for that item. Meaning if the item is for your sister and she makes the payments on time every month, you will also benefit from that payment history and more than likely, your credit score will increase as well. The drawback is that you will be affected negatively if those payments are late, missed, or if the car is repossessed. That repossession will be the same as you repossessing the car which will surely decrease your credit score. Co-Signing for an apartment is slightly different as those late payments will not show on your credit report unless the landlord or agency has a monthly credit reporting plan in which case it can affect your credit score.
 
When Co-Signing Is A Good Idea
This is probably most asked question from my clients and probably one of the toughest to answer. I say that because there is no crystal ball to tell us when or if a person will ever be late or miss a payment. The only time it would make sense to co-sign is, if and only if, you can have some control in the finances and making the payments on time. For example, you co-sign for your child but you have their checking account automatically transferring the money to your account every pay period to ensure an on-time payment. Another example would be if you take care of all of the finances for that person, it wouldn’t be a problem because you have access to their money coming in and going out. Being married and co-signing for each other is not a problem in the beginning because there is a level of commitment, but keep in mind what may happen in the future

When Co-Signing Is A Bad Idea
Anytime you have to hope, wish, or pray a person makes the payment on time, co-signing for this person may be a bad idea. I have seen every scenario from parent and child, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, friend and friend, family member and family member, and even random people co-signing for people they don’t know that well. Remember, co-signing is more than just being responsible for making the payments; both parties also own 50% of the vehicle. Meaning, if one person wants to trade it in or take it from you, you will have a problem because they own half. Of course you can’t chop a car in half, but banks overrule courts because someone has to make the payments each month regardless of who drives it. The biggest problem you can have is when the paying party is late on payments or worse, the item goes into default. Not only will your credit be equally damaged, but you are also eligible to be sued in a civil suit. To avoid all of this, remember, it’s ok to say NO!
Bottom Line
As you can see, there is no perfect scenario for co-signing as there is always a risk. Many things can negatively happen and with so many crazy things taking place in people’s lives, it’s probably best that you say NO to co-signing. There are MANY banks that will finance items without the person needing a co-signer. A nice down payment will always help the situation or a higher credit score. Whatever you decide, don’t say you didn’t know from this point forward.
 
Calvin Russell Jr. is a Certified FICO Professional, approved partner with Bankrate, and the CEO & Founder of GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation. GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation is a Chicago-based credit repair company. GoSimplyPro Credit Consultation has helped hundreds of people increase their credit scores, qualify for homes, cars, and lower interest rates with their Step-By- Step Game Plans. Contact us today at 877.205.7771 to learn more or email us at info@gosimplypro.com.

Categories
Home

4 Scriptures to Read While Waiting On God

co-authored by Culus Williams
 
God has released promises into each of our lives. The funny thing is that God releases the promise but he never tells us the process that we will go through to receive the promise. Usually, we start out excited about the promises of God but as we begin to go through the process, we grow weary.
We start to give up and even want to throw in the towel. We become angry with those around us because we feel that they just don’t understand our challenge. We isolate ourselves from fellowship with others because we don’t want them to see the pain in our eyes. Some of us even become angry with God and wonder why he is allowing this happen.
Here are a few scriptures to help you get through your waiting season:
Feel Like Giving Up
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Angry with Loved Ones
James 1:20 “because human anger does not produce righteousness that God desires.
Isolation From Fellowship
Proverbs 18:1 “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”
Angry with God
1 John 5:14 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to his
will, he hears us.”
 
Adversity tends to come when we least expect it. It’s not easy being challenged by God. It’s not easy not knowing how long you will go through the process.
We encourage you to keep trusting God no matter what it looks like in your life. We often look at things through the natural eye but when you’re being tested it’s best that you look at things through the spiritual eye. Walking by faith and not be sight means that you’re putting your faith in Jesus so you are looking to Jesus no matter what it looks like in the natural. (2 Corinthians 5:7)
Stop trusting man to fix it and trust God that it’s already done. If he released a promise into your life, he is going to fulfill the promise. Don’t give up and don’t give out. When God releases the promise it will be so worth the wait. You will know that only God did it for you. God will get all the glory, honor and praise that he deserves.
 

Categories
Single

Your Future Husband Is a Real Person: 3 Areas to Pray for Him

by Kay King
I don’t know about you, but I know God has someone out here for me. Someone he has molded specifically for me. Someone for me to do life and destiny with.
Even after being single for 6 years, I still believe that. Up until last year I would just sit around and wait, until I came across a prayer challenge where they were praying for their future husbands.
It made so much sense, why do I need to wait until I’m married to start praying like a wife? My future husband needs covering now.
So I joined the challenge and even after the challenge ended,  I continue to pray.
Here’s 3 areas in which you can use to start your own prayer challenge for your future husband.
 
 

1. His relationship with Christ

We know that the Lord is the center of it all and He will certainly be the center of my marriage. So I pray prayers regarding my future husband’s spiritual maturity. I pray that he understands how our marriage should be a reflection of Christ and the Church. I also pray that through his relationship with Christ,  he learns how to be an effective leader. I pray that my future husband’s heart is aligned with Christ. It’s so important that he knows Christ and that he puts his relationship with Christ first.
Sample prayer: Lord, I pray that my future husband is committed to his relationship with you. I pray that each and every day he is maturing and growing in wisdom in all areas of his life. I pray that he is fervently studying your word and putting your word to action. Lord guide him in all truth and knowledge and help him to learn how to lead like you. Align his heart with yours so that he is able to take on your mindset concerning marriage and family. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

2. Purity

This is a huge one. We live in a world where it’s so easy to get exposed to sex, so I pray for my future husbands ear gates and eye gates. I know that wherever he turns he will likely see something sexual, so it’s important to pray his strength in this area. I even pray about his previous relationships and that he has been delivered and healed. I also know that the Jezebel spirit is real, so I always make sure I pray against that controlling and manipulating spirit. I pray that he is committed to pleasing God in this area because I know it takes a strong man to stand on the side of what’s right.
Sample prayer: Lord, I know that there is much out here today that can cause a man to fall into temptation so I am praying today that my future husband’s eyes be set on you. I pray that he has made the choice to honor you with his body and that he is focused on keeping his promise. I pray against every Jezebel spirit that would try to control and manipulate him into making choices that wouldn’t please you. Give him strength in this area. I ask that every soul tie be broken in the name of Jesus and that no residue be left from previous relationships. I pray that he be healed and delivered. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

3. Identity

It’s so important that your future husband understand who he is, not only as a man but as a man of God. When a man lacks identity, he lacks purpose and if he lacks purpose then he doesn’t need a help meet (a wife). So I pray for my husband’s identity, I pray that he finds who he is in and through Christ. I always pray against generational curses and word curses. It’s tough out here to be a man. Everyone has an idea of who and what you should be, but I pray daily that He seeks the Lord regarding his identity. I pray that he has the endurance to continue to strive for his purpose and passion. I also pray that he enters into the fullness of who God called him to be.
Sample prayer: Lord, I know that my future husband is under constant attack concerning the area of his purpose. I know the devil would love nothing more than for him to just give up but today I pray against every attack that would come his way. I pray against every word curse that has been spoken over his life contrary to what You have said and called him to be. Help him to recognize generational curses in his bloodline, so that he may confront them and break them. I pray continuously that he be the strong leader that You’ve made him to be. I pray that he seeks you more than ever and that with every encounter, he’s refreshed and able to endure what comes. I pray that he comes into the fullness of who you have called him to be and that even when he stumbles, he will humble himself and get back up. I know he’s going to be an amazing husband because he has such an amazing example, You. I thank you in advance. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
It’s important to cover your husband in prayer. Why not get an early start? Husbands have a great deal of weight on their shoulders and it’s important that you show him that you have his back. The best way to show that is to be a praying wife.
So stop praying for a husband and start praying specific prayers for YOUR husband.
I would love to hear from you and what prayers you are praying. Follow my blog Single Woman’s Diary on WordPress and Follow me on Facebook.

Categories
Communication Marriage

If Your Wife Feels Disconnected From You Then Quickly Do These Three Things

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How long does it take to disconnect your TV from the wall?  1 second to unplug it.

How long does it take to have your wife feel connected to you? Depends on how long you have been disconnected.
If you feel that there is a gap in your relationship or you have heard the following from your wife:
“I wish we spent more time together.”
“We haven’t talked in a while.”
Or “I feel disconnected from you.”
You need to quickly do the following 3 things to bring a strong connection back to the relationship.
1. Unplug from all media
If your wife feels disconnected from you, it probably means that you are connected to something else. You might need to unplug from TV so you can begin reconnecting with your wife. You might need to disconnect from your phone more. Don’t allow electronic devices to take away from your ability to connect with her. They are helpful at times, but most often they contribute to a disconnect.
2. Binge-wifing
In college, I remember people (i.e. me) binge-watching movies all night. We could watch all the Rocky movies in 9 or 10 hours.  Today, people could binge-watch the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings or the latest Marvel movies.  What would happen if you took a significant amount of time to re-invest your heart and mind in your wife?
This is what I mean by binge-wifing (yea, I just created that nonsensical word when I was writing this post). You can quickly reconnect with your wife by laughing, reminiscing, and sharing memories of the past and visions of the future. Instead of spending hours watching movies, you could spend hours reconnecting with your wife. Here are some ways to do this:

  • Go to a marriage conference
  • Play board games
  • Watch her favorite movies together.
  • Go on a walk with her every night together.
  • Pray with her before work begins or before bed.

3. Apologize to her and change
Admit you have allowed the disconnecting. Tell her you are sorry for this and are making changes to your role in the relationship. Tell her that you are wanting more accountability from her if she sees you connecting to other things more than you are with her. Be contrite. Be sincere. And then start connecting. You can do this!
Question: What do you do to make sure you stay connected to your wife?

Categories
Home Marriage

20 Signs That Your Relationship is Healthy

One thing that I always say is that marriage is a living organism, if you prune it and water it, it will grow. There are ways to make sure that not only is each person in the relationship is healthy, but to make sure the whole relationship or marriage is healthy. These clues can be used to assess not only romantic relationships but friendships.

  1. Both parties can give 3 reasons how the other person has improved their life.
  2. Both parties feel like they can be themselves in the relationship.
  3. There is no fear when it comes to communication even if the topics are hard.
  4. There are no major secrets that are hidden from one of the parties.
  5. Both parties encourage and support the each other’s dreams.
  6. Both parties propel each other to walk in righteousness and integrity.
  7. Both parties feel understood and loved by the other person.
  8. Both Parties go the extra mile to show the other person they love them.
  9. Both parties serve each other.
  10. Both parties respect and honor each other in front of other people.
  11. Both parties respect the union(if married) keeping the marriage bed pure. The are not involved in sexually deviant behavior (pornography, affairs, deviant sex).
  12. Both Parties do not let the other settle for mediocrity, but pushes the other to be the best.
  13. Both parties create a space for their mate to be themselves.
  14. Both parties enjoy free time away from their partner.
  15. Both parties have clear and healthy boundaries in the relationship.
  16. Both parties enjoying laughing together.
  17. As a couple, you have things you do together that are “your” things.
  18. Both parties easily forgive and do not hold grudges.
  19. Both parties have clarity on the direction of the relationships and expectations.
  20. Both parties are committed to working out any challenges or difficulties that may arise.

Categories
Marriage Single

There's No Point In Getting Married

Pensive girl. Looking through the window. Holding mobile. Thinking what to do. Great light caming from the window.
“There’s no point in getting married.” I can’t begin to express how many times I’ve heard this sentiment from my single friends. “All married people do is argue, fight, and talk about how it’s the most difficult journey they’ve ever embarked upon. So if that’s what I have to look forward to, then what’s the point”?
It wasn’t until I began to truly evaluate what my friends were saying that I was hit with a blaring truth. The majority of us married people don’t paint the best picture of marriage for someone that someday aspires to build a happy and healthy marriage.
We’re all guilty of it. Just recently, I found myself attempting to help my younger brother by letting him know how much work a marriage is. The fact of the matter is, that statement is true! Marriage is very hard work, but that’s only a part of the story. With this in mind, I wanted to paint a better more complete picture for all of my single brothers and sisters out there that aspire to someday build a special marriage so that you don’t give up on the idea of finding that special someone to tie the knot with.
I like to think of marriage as a permanent sleepover with your best friend. Just like any relationship, it won’t always be peaches and cream. Some days, there will be some speeches and screams. Anytime you merge two individuals from many various backgrounds, each with their own set of ideals, habits, and customs, there will be a period of time it takes to get on the same page. The key to building anything is to start with a solid foundation!
The same is true for your marriage. You must start by intentionally building the foundation centered upon truth, love, patience, understanding, kindness, honesty, open communication, and the love of Christ into your marriage. This is the “work” part that all of your married friends and family are always talking about, and truth be told, they’re not lying when they say it’s not easy.
However, once you and your mate establish that you’re in this together and you’re committed to always work together and pull in the same direction, the payoff for your work is far greater than anything you could ever imagine.
You gain real true unconditional love.
You gain safety when you lonely and afraid.
When you can’t sleep late at night because all off the cares and worries that present themselves in life, you gain someone to hold you close and provide comfort.
You gain a friend with will cover you with prayer constantly!
You gain someone to live a life of worship with!
You gain someone to share your home and refuge from the world with.
You gain someone to smile with, laugh with, cry with, share milestone moments with, build a family with, and more than anything, you learn what grace and mercy are all about through a real friend who’s there for you no matter what happens in this life.
So, the next time you hear your married friends talking about how difficult marriage is, remember these three things and be encouraged:
1)They’re only trying to let you know to prepare yourself for the great work that is to come
2)The work you put in will yield many of your life’s greatest joys, triumphs, and accomplishments
3)Nothing worth having comes without work and great sacrifice!