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Are we compatible?

Western Christian culture may or may not have adapted a “caste system,” in regards to what we know and identify as our calling. Some believe that their future spouse needs to perfectly align with their calling.
We see it all the time: Pastors should marry beautiful wives who can sing, pray, or teach children, right? Oh, and a guitar-playing, worship-leading guy needs to marry a piano-savvy woman.
Someone I know feels called to a particular field of world missions and insists that their future spouse have the same exact call to the same exact group of people. Is it wrong to desire someone like-minded and like-hearted? Of course not! But we probably don’t need to be so stringent about whom we allow into our inner circle of compatibility.

Two hearts, One Vision

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul addresses the issue with regards to believers being “yoked” (bound, committed to) with unbelievers. But what about marriage between believers? Should people marry someone with the same vocational interests, or does this great mystery of calling go beyond the income source?
Do musicians have to marry musicians? No! But a person called to live in and minister in Ghana may encounter some friction if the person they are engaged to feels called to be a full-time library clerk in their northwestern Boston commonwealth.

Godly Vision

It is absolutely possible for a youth pastor and high school teacher to find love in one another. The crux of the issue is vision.
These five guidelines may help couples be compatible, blend their unique callings, and use them together for the Kingdom:

Love for one another’s purpose. My wife has always been supportive of what I believe the Lord has created me to be. God’s call on an individual’s life far surpasses a job title. It has everything to do with who a person is called to be. I love my wife’s unique set of gifts, and she loves mine. We honor what God has chosen to deposit in one another.
Ability to fit two distinct purposes into one marriage. There is a very Kingdom reason that the Lord brought you and your spouse together. My wife’s gift of music and leading others into God’s presence flows well with my gift of discipleship and mentoring. A couple does not need the same job description in order to flow in divine gifts together to benefit the Kingdom.
No resentment when one succeeds. Some friends of ours are both musically gifted. The husband enthusiastically supported his wife as she pursued country music. Quietly in the background, the husband began writing songs to the Lord. Soon, the worldwide Church began to sing his songs. This loving wife celebrated her husband’s anointing without glaring disparagingly at her husband’s discovered anointing. Competition for prominence between spouses is unhealthy. Celebrate when your spouse gets promoted for his or her gifts.
No “surprise callings.” Don’t wait until the honeymoon to tell your spouse, “Oh, by the way, hon, I believe the Lord wants me to travel to Mars in the first manned mission.” My wife and I joked about how wild our life together in ministry would be, and we have enjoyed the journey ever since!
Able to move as one. It is also crucial to be able to flow, as one, in your life together. You don’t have to have the same career but know your gifts, where you’re going, and how to blend your unique gifts to accomplish the purpose for which the Lord has brought you together!

How do you and your spouse’s unique gifts complement one another?

10 Things Every Pregnant Wife Needs From Her Husband

My wife is currently 6 months pregnant with our precious princess, Harvest Ann Miller. We are so excited to bring this bundle of joy into the world. Pregnancy has been a serious time of learning, adjusting, and embracing.
Here are 10 things every pregnant wife needs from her husband:
1. Respond to the announcement of the baby and gender appropriately.
Your reaction to the initial announcement of your wife’s pregnancy means the world to her. When we found out we were pregnant, I was equally as excited as my wife. The challenge came when we were about to find out the gender of the baby. I can honestly say I thought we were having a boy. I remember the look on my face when we found out we were having a girl. I had to quickly adjust it in order to not disappoint my wife. This was such an important moment for her and for every woman; they needs to know you are just as excited as she is! This is all a part of the journey.

2. Tell her she is beautiful and mean it.
Your wife is going through a lot of changes and with those changes comes a hit to her confidence. Hearing, “you are beautiful” from the man she loves more than anything is something that will keep her heart secure in your love.

3. Start interacting with the baby now.
The baby is developing inside of your wife, which makes it really hard for you to feel as connected to the baby as your wife is. This is why you must make intentional steps when it comes to interacting with the baby. One thing I would do each night after my wife falls asleep is hold her belly and pray over my baby girl. This really helped me to start interacting with her and to begin to feel connected to Harvest

4. Massage every part of her body, especially her back.
This right here will make her fall in love with you all over again. This should be done at least one time every day. Take some time and ask your wife where she would like a massage, and I guarantee you will have one happy wife.

5.Don’t take it personal.
Do not take the things that may come out of your wives mouth personal. Give her grace as she undergoes a lot of changes and pressure she is learning how to deal with. She needs support, not fighting.

6. Adjust to her changing love languages.
During pregnancy the way your wife receives love will change. Try out different things to continue meeting her needs. Don’t be afraid to ask her what she wants and be open to serving her in new ways.

7. Learn what is happening in her mind and body.
Read books that will help you better understand what is happening in her body. I subscribed to a pregnancy app that sends me emails each morning with a new tip and update on where my wife is in her pregnancy journey. This helps in our conversations, and is even handy when we are at doctor’s appointments

8. Go to all doctor’s appointment.
I was late to our first appointment due to work and the look on my wife’s face when I arrived was something I never want to see again. Your wife wants you at every appointment; so, make every effort possible to be at each one and to be on time.

9. Let her sleep.
Your wife will experience a strong drain of energy. Take up some extra responsibilities around the house in order to allow her to rest. When she has the sleep she needs, she will be able to function and live much more comfortably, and trust me, you will benefit as well.

10. Be patient and enjoy the journey.
Pregnancy is a journey and if you can be patient with your wife along the ride, your relationship will become stronger than ever. This is the preparation time for entry into one of the most rewarding seasons of your life.