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What A Virtuous Man Looks Like

Growing up in the church I constantly heard about the virtuous woman, but I never heard about the virtuous man.  I finally learned about it at a men’s conference.  They referenced Psalm 112 to describe a virtuous man.
 Praise the Lord!  Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever. Light dawns in the darkness for the upright; he is gracious, merciful, and righteous. It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice. For the righteous will never be moved; he will be remembered forever. He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid, until he looks in triumph on his adversaries. He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever; his horn is exalted in honor. The wicked man sees it and is angry; he gnashes his teeth and melts away; the desire of the wicked will perish!
Let’s break down these scriptures and analyze what it is to be a Psalm 112 man.

  • The Psalm 112 Man is Obedient

The Psalm 112 man loves God and displays His love by obeying Him.  The Psalm 112 man is guided by God in everything he does.

  • The Psalm 112 Man has a Strong Legacy

Because of his obedience, the Psalm 112 man has a strong legacy.  The strong and lasting legacy that he has set is faith in God.  Because of his faith in God his family is blessed by God for generations to come.

  • The Psalm 112 Man is a Provider

God has blessed each and everyone one of us with gifts that are not designed only to give Him glory, but to help us in providing for our families. It is important that we know who God is so that He may show us who we are.  Each and everyone of us is blessed so that we can be a blessing to our family and those around us.

  • The Psalm 112 Man is Gracious, Merciful and Righteous

Because the Psalm 112 man is guided by God, he reflects the character of God.  He is quick to listen and slow to anger. He recognizes the grace and mercy that God has extended to him and pays it forward.  And like Abraham, his faith in God will be counted unto him as righteousness.  For righteousness is the obedience of faith to God’s will.

  • The Psalm 112 Man is Generous

As stated before the, Psalm 112 man provides for his family and those around him.  According to 2 Corinthians 9:6, if we give sparingly, we will receive sparingly, but if we give generously, we will receive generously.  This scripture is directly speaking about money, but this also applies to our time and talent as well.  While money is good, money isn’t everything.  We must also be willing to give of ourselves generously as well.

  • The Psalm 112 Man Trusts in The Lord

My father told me that as a husband and a father I am the leader.  He said that if I freak out, they (my wife and kids) will freak out.  A Psalm 112 man believes the scripture 2 Timothy 1:7 which says:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
The Psalm 112 man lives a life of power, love and a sound mind.  When a situation seems bleak, the Psalm 112 man waits on God’s command and acts on that command.  The Psalm 112 man trusts in God.

  • The Psalm 112 Man will be Hated

Jesus obeyed God and they crucified Him.  What makes you think you’ll be spared?  Understand that when you follow God, not everyone will love you.  You could discover the cure for cancer and someone will curse you for taking so long. Be obedient and unapologetically follow God.  All that matters is that You hear, “well done My good and faithful servant” when you get to heaven.
I love reading Psalm 112, it helps me to understand who I am to be as a man.  It isn’t a complete and exhaustive guide, but it does give me direction.

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home

Tear Up Your Wishlist: The Two Things You Should Look For in a Potential Spouse

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage

6 Things I've Learned from 6 Months of Marriage

Recently my wife and I celebrated 6 months of marriage! It feels like we were just honeymooning yesterday! We don’t have the marriage thing down completely, but we have learned a couple things. Here’s 6 of my favorites that I’ve learned in the first six months:
 
 
1. My wife is the best.
She really is. She’s my cheerleader, my partner, and best friend. She’s there when no one else is and thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. And we’ll leave it that way for now.
 
2. We don’t fight.
We really don’t. There’s nothing too big worth fighting for. I don’t demand anything be my-way-or-the-highway and Julie is the same way. If either of us find something worth fighting about, we stop and think, is this worth bringing up and ending in a possible quarrel? It’s probably not.
 
3. It isn’t 50/50 it’s 100/100.
I never look at Julie and say, “If I give this 50%, you have to give that 50%.” There is no giving only when the other one gives. I give no matter what she does. She gives no matter what I do. What happens when two people both give freely? Marriage ends up being 100/100. We freely give to each other, expecting nothing in return and no strings attached.
 
4. It’s a constant party.
There’s is NOTHING worth living in a constant pity party over! Life might deal you a tough hand of cards, but guess what? You still have cards. You could have none. There have been things that happened to me that I could be bitter over but it’s not worth it. Our marriage is a constant party that no one can crash!
 
5. Life is better together.
Single life was great. It really was. But marriage is even better. Yes, times will get tough, but I’d rather face it together than face it alone. I look at Julie as my helpmate, not my opposition. But most of the time, marriage is GREAT. So she’s there to party with me. TWO is better than ONE.
 
6. Marriage is easier than what people told me it would be.
Many people told me the things we’d fight over, the areas that would be tough, the challenges we would have to overcome. Honestly, we haven’t experienced them at all. Have they come up? Sure. But never have they been something we saw as a “challenge” or problem. Marriage is what you make of it, and we’ve made it great!

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home

Destiny Dating: The Real Meaning Behind the Right One

With much interest and recent attention being paid to the subject of dating, courting and marriage amongst Christians, I find that this heightened interest is bringing both good and bad to the overall discussion. Among the good, people are becoming more interested in honoring God through relationships, loving biblically and planning family. Some of the bad however is the attempts by many well meaning Christians to “Simplify” the subject and content all together.
While appealing to the common person, the attempt to simplify dating and marriage also brings to forefront certain inevitable expenses that most would regret while in the journey of matrimony. It’s quite comical that people think that you can simplify, reduce or approach a subject that involves the eternal joining of two very complex lives. To be clear, every human being on the planet , has their individual complexities. They have certain strengths, weaknesses, tendencies and perspectives that may be ironic, contradictory or even polar for some. The point is, no matter what contemporary spin we apply towards the ancient phenomena of marriage, it will always be a complex issue that should involve very deliberate and very careful processes that lead to its beginning and justify its right to be!
 
This writing is about what I believe to be a biblically accurate model for Dating and Marriage. Its truths are applicable to both those pursuing marriage and those already married. To begin, I want to apply some pressure to God’s ideas with the first marriage.
 

Genesis 2 : 18 NIV “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”

God’s idea, was that the Mate role and function, should be SUITABLE. To be suitable means to Fit, To Match, To Complete or To Compliment. When we consider those ideas, especially in a romantic scenario we often prioritize COMPATIBLITY over SUITABILITY. God clearly, is not interested in compability or things in common per se, as He is another persons life design and purpose, matching yours. For this reason, it is very important to be clear about what God has designed you to be and do, with detail, before you involve someone else in the ambiguity of your life.
Destiny, is a term that we use to describe God’s ideas, plans and highest goals for your existence. Destiny, is the reason you have a Birthday, Destiny is the reason why you constantly escape death.  When we view our dating interests our spousal prospects through this lens, it really does refine our selection.  Our eternal covenant with another human being has to go far beyond, “What’s your favorite color? or What do you like?” or merely “Are you available?” It should include, How does my life’s purpose coincide with or compliment or amplify yours? A suitable mate is not a simple find. A compatible one is. A simple ad on a website or a casual blind date, will supply you with a compatible prospect. But finding the right FIT for you purpose, is how you will guarantee (even with inevitable struggles and challenges) your FUTURE security.
As believers, God never wants us to meet an immediate need for companionship and compromise our FUTURE fulfillment. The answer to this is patience, wisdom and gainful insight about what God wants OUT of your life. Think to yourself, “What did God intend for my life to accomplish? The answer to that is the BEST matchmaker.  If you’re a person that knows very little about your self, you may not be the right candidate to date at the moment. You cant realistically even articulate what you bring to the table.  As you acquaint yourself with your lifes assignment, you will now have parameters for what you and your purpose NEEDS in a mate.
Think about it, God pulling a rib from Adam was a quick process, but was not “simple” to any degree. It was quite complex. Considering your life, value systems, passions, giftings, callings, potential and purpose, will prevent any spirit filled believer from a casual attitude on dating. To those serious about fulfilling God’s design, DESTINY is the core of the dating experiment. Loneliness, a need for company or age is not enough. We need God’s heart on who we’ve been called to be. That information will level the playing field, eliminate certain prospects and highlight those that are worth your effort.
Oh yea, to the married, get to know your SPOUSES purpose and devote energy to it. Many of you may be thinking “It doesn’t take all that” but In marriage, the highest covenant of two individual human beings, it takes ALL THAT and a little more. This will provide a more complete, fulfilling and powerful marriage. To know what God was thinking about your spouse when they were born, is one of the highest forms of intimacy you can have! Also, makes for a great sex life!
 

Let DESTINY do your dating!

 
In Him,
Dr. Matthew Stevenson

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Physical Intimacy

Ask Dr. Faith |8 Spiritual Red Flags To Look For In A Relationship

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage Physical Intimacy

5 Quick Ways to Jumpstart to a Healthy Lifestyle

Many times I paid to write articles hear people say, ” I can’t afford to buy whole/organic foods” or “I don’t have enough time to work out and get fit/healthy.”

I know in this part of the Western World, eating unhealthy foods and skipping the gym is so much easier and convenient, but I promise you: the hospital bills, the medicine script, the exhausted and overworked body and ultimately the sickness is WAY more expensive than taking steps to living in wholeness NOW.

Here’s a great way to start:

1.

Recruit help!

Bring a friend in on your choice to live healthy and stay accountable!

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It’s so much easier and way more fun to do it with someone else.

 

2. Get educated!

Watch a documentary: Food Matters, Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead, or Forks over Knives are great Netflix movies!

 

3. Make some changes!

Cut something out (soda, fast food, eating late) and replace it with something else (water, home-cooked meal, veggie snack).

 

4. Discipline your body!

Sign up to the gym, a cross fit class, a home workout routine, running, biking… whatever! Do something that will burn fat, release endorphins and make you feel good about yourself!

 

5. Love yourself:

Value your body enough to give it what it needs to work properly! This is going to make you a healthy, happy you! You are worth the investment! Don’t just settle for what McDonalds offers you! Your body needs nutrients! So give it what it needs to be healthy!

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Dating/Courting Home

3 Things Single Men Need to Get

Whether you’re in your 20’s or 30’s…the concept of marriage is all around you and staring you right in the face. But there are some very important keys that we need to be mindful of when on the brink of, frankly, the most important decision you’ll ever make outside of your commitment to Jesus Christ. And rather than take you through all of the things you “should look for” in the opposite sex…(Because I have yet to lay hold to the promise myself)…I believe it would be more beneficial for us to discuss the stuff that helps us become  SUCCESSFUL Unmarried Men while on our Journey to Marriage.
1. Get Committed – Unmarried Doesn’t Mean Uncommitted!
Oftentimes, when people find out that I’m 29 years old and Unmarried, they attribute my singleness to the fact that I must be either Scared or Fearful of Commitment. However, this is not the case! Jesus teaches us that Commitment is a CHIEF principle of the Kingdom in Matthew 22:37 when he says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is a RELATIONAL commitment to God that requires EVERYTHING of you. Your Heart, Mind and Soul represent the innermost parts of yourself being devoted to God. But another type of commitment is addressed in Luke 14:27 which says,  “Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”In other words, each man has a responsibility to ‘bear his own cross’ as a LIFESTYLE in order that we may prove to be worthy disciples.From this, we understand that Commitment stems from Responsibility and that Commitment isn’t only Relationship oriented but LIFESTYLE oriented. I know that you’re not married yet and probably submitting your applications to be the next “BACHELOR”, but you can’t skip over the principle that a Man with no Commitment, isn’t a Man of the Kingdom. Push yourself to have a Positive daily regiment or routine that you are FULLY and CONSISTENTLY Committed to. Whether it be Bible Readings, The Gym, or Mentorship…develop and maintain it to the best of your ability.
The truth is, My commitment to Christ and the things of God are what has kept me from venturing into relationships that were unhealthy for me and that same commitment will ultimately lead me into the proper relationship that God has ordained for my life. Unmarried doesn’t mean Uncommitted!
2. Get Educated – Unmarried doesn’t mean Uneducated!
One of the healthiest things an Unmarried Man can do, is hang around Married men. If you want to remain single, keep hanging around single men…why?…because you Become what you Behold. I understand you have your ‘boys’ and your single male friends that you chill with and that’s all well and good. But if you remain in an environment and a mindset of Singleness, you will never understand what it takes to be Married. If I’m Broke, the LAST thing I want to do is hang around other Broke people! I need to add someone to my life who can help me become who I want to become. A dear Pastor friend of mine by the name of Steven Sexton said this to me recently, “You’ve spent your ENTIRE LIFE being a Single man, but very little of what you’ve learned will be taken into the Next stage of your life because it is altogether ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.”  Every unmarried man needs a Married brother in their life who they can approach with the vital questions that will help educate them on the next step. The more Educated you feel about something, the more prepared you are; And the more prepared you are, the more comfortable you become! Unmarried doesn’t mean Uneducated!
3.  Get Happy – Unmarried Doesn’t Mean Unhappy!
Oftentimes, we encourage our Youth with words of wisdom such as, “Don’t grow up to fast!” However, when it comes to our own lives as Young Adults we are pressured into moving quickly into Marriage relationships…ESPECIALLY IN THE CHURCH! And when we see many of our peers finding their spouses, we can become discouraged, jealous, and even fearful of if we will be able to share in the same experience one day. I’ve come find out that your “Singleness” is a GIFT from God that can be used strategically to impact the Kingdom. But you will miss out on this impact if you are misguided by the pressures of the culture around us. Psychology Today produced an article entitled, “6 Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone”. I usually don’t cosign a lot of secular methodology, but this is a really good read. It is scientifically proven that Solitude can do everything from Increasing Concentration to Enhancing The Quality of Relationships. As a matter of fact, Jesus found several moments to slip away from crowds and even His disciples to get alone with Himself and the Father. And Matthew 6:6 reiterates this when it says, “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in Secret will reward you.” This is because who you Really are isn’t as much who you portray in public, as it is who you find behind closed doors. Most people discover more rewarding lives when they can approach life from a place of fully understanding themselves and their purpose.
Spend some time alone seeking the Lord on the kind of man that He desires you to be and the purposes He’s designed for you to complete. I can honestly say that in my own life, I have found the GREATEST REWARD to be walking wholly in the will of God. There is a sense of Satisfaction, Contentment and Unspeakable JOY that is reserved for those who are found in Christ…YOU ARE LOVED! Unmarried doesn’t mean Unhappy!
Currently Playing: “Happy” by Pharrell<

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Dating/Courting Engaged Finances Home Marriage Parenting

2 Things That Will Make Your Marriage Thrive

Do you know that the decisions you make today will affect your future as well as the future of your offspring? This does not just relate to married couples, but to the engaged and unmarried as well.  I am learning on a whole other level the power of prayer and planning! Prayer and planning has been key for me during this new season of marriage. Before I said I do, and even after I remember women from every age and background were telling me how essential prayer would be to my marriage and family. 

1. What should I pray about? 
Pray for your husband of course, but don’t stop there. Pray over your household’s finances, your job, extended family and your children whether born or unborn. God hears your prayers. He is a God who lives in the future! He loves talking about the future with you and enjoys the process in which you discover those plans through prayer and quiet time with Him. As you are faithful I’m praying, watch the temperature and presence of your home exude love, peace and joy! Yes. You have the ability to be a conduit in which God will use to bless your house now and the houses of your offspring.
2. What do I need to plan? 
It says In the word of God for us to write the vision and make it plain, so that whoever reads it may run with it and understand for it will be released at an appointed time. (Habakuk 2:2)  Planning and casting vision for your future as well as your family’s is something I believe every woman should partake in.  I’m learning that absolutely nothing is too big for God! Create a vision board, journal it or discuss with your spouse your plans and vision for the future and watch God bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
At the end of the day it is not about you. It’s about those who are before you and those who will follow after you. Pray over them now and cast vision over your life and the lives of your family. You have the power to change, rearrange and restore with your prayers, words and vision!

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Dating/Courting Home

5 Things You Should Pursue When Single

A couple weeks back I was driving in West Monroe with the rumblings of my stomach crying out for food so I pulled into the Chick-Fil-A drive thru. My friend Mackenzie was with me and we started discussing how another Valentine’s Day had passed without a significant other and without hesitation I blurted out, “ I’m single, twenty-five and having a quarter life crisis while eating WAFFLE FRIES!” We both busted into an uncontrollable laughter at the thought of how silly this notion was and moved on with our afternoon.
Later the next week though the quote just kept weighing on my heart. “ I’m single, twenty-five and having a quarter life crisis while eating WAFFLE FRIES!” All the thoughts of my life began to rush in like when you were a kid who was plastered with the kickball in the face. The Oh my gosh what have I done with my life, resonated loudly in my brain. I had just turned 25 at the beginning of February, but it was almost like my waffle fry epiphany had finally hit home. I had literally lived a quarter of my life already. But I really wondered was God delighted with my 25 years of life I had lived? Did I do all I could for him? Was it enough? What could I have changed? Did I do all I really wanted to do?
Then a verse from Ecclesiastes 3:11 came to mind “ Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in heart’s of man, but even so, people can’t see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”
God has placed an eternal scheme to pursue the dreams, calling and plans in your heart for the rest of your life. Many singles feel left out of what marriage or a family brings to your life. Yes, it is a wonderful adventure all in its own, but an adventure awaits us all in our time of singleness. Don’t think you have to wait to be married to have them all.
God has greater waiting. Greater is the life altering understanding God is ready to accomplish a kind of greatness in your life that is entirely out of human reach. Basically God wants to do GREATER through you, for you and with you! The impossible and unexpected journey ahead, He so desperately wants to engage in your heart the potential for dreaming big, living life to the fullest and loving people exponentially in this season.
In turning 25, I wrote down 25 goals to celebrate living out my twenty-fifth year of life with joy, expectancy and understanding of my moment of singleness is for a greater role than I understand, because God has the whole scope of the journey worked out, our only requirement is to listen to His beckoning, not shrivel in our past of what not’s and didn’t do’s. But especially when the thoughts of the enemy can pounce in as fast as a kickball, our time in singleness has to be focused on the words and declarations of the King, not man, not self-pity or social standards of what we should be doing with our free time.  I encourage you women and men in the singlehood to write out pursuits for being in this season.  You’ll discover life isn’t in the waiting on the spouse but it’s in the waiting on the next adventure God is ready to take with us!  Here are five areas to make pursuits in during your single time, your quarter life crisis of doubt and remind you God speaks in mysterious ways, even waffle fries.

  1. Personal Spiritual Pursuits– Determine where you want to be in your relationship with Jesus, whether learning to memorize more scripture, reading plans, or adding more time to your pray life and studying of His word. Dig deeper. Get out of the comfort zone.
  2. Career or Education Pursuits– I own my own photography company and every year I put a mark on how many weddings I want to shoot. I want to push my talent God’s given to me more than I think I’m capable of, so think BIG in getting a new job or making your career more excellent in little ways
  3. Travel Pursuits– Get out and go on an adventure. Go to a place on your bucket list don’t wait. Go to Europe or hike to Machu Pichu. Even small goals drive on a road trip down Route 66 experience all the things God has created in this world to enjoy!
  4. Ministry Pursuits- Find something to pour your heart into, rather it be serving as a Big Brother or Sister, volunteering as a tutor or going on a mission’s trip overseas. Find a place to be light and shine hope.
  5. Miscellaneous Pursuits– This is hands down free range. Try out the impossible dreams here. Make pursuits you never thought you could accomplish. Run a marathon, read two books a month, gets published, learn a new skill, pay for someone’s Starbucks once a week. Discover the child like faith for believing in accomplishing the extraordinary with God in your singleness. He can do it!

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage Parenting Physical Intimacy

Ask Dr. Faith |5 Steps to Overcoming Betrayal