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Finances Marriage

3 Ways To Stop Living Paycheck to Paycheck

When I graduated from college, I made $30,000 a year, owed $60,000 in student loans, and was not able to make ends meet. I graduated top of my class in high school, went to a top university, and there I was…young and broke. You know the saying, “…when you find yourself with more month than money”. Yea, that was me. I was in that paycheck to paycheck rut.
But by the grace and favor of God, I learned to break the cycle and master my money. I make more now than I did as a recent grad. But more money alone didn’t break my paycheck to paycheck cycle, and it won’t break yours. The 3 steps below will.

1. Know where your money goes

One of the worst things you can do is fall behind on your bills and obligations, especially when you’re young. Late fees and interest (on debt) will make sure your paycheck stays consumed by bills. And when all of your money is spent on bills, you won’t get ahead. So your first priority is to make sure you don’t fall [further] behind.
But many of us don’t even realize that we are behind, and you won’t realize it until you know where your money is going.
The concept is simple: subtract your monthly bills from your monthly income. What’s left is your “free spending” money. If what’s left over is negative, you owe more than you actually make each month! You’re in the hole and need to do whatever necessary to dig yourself out. For me, this was getting a second job to help close the gap, until I could figure out a longer-term solution. Back then, that solution was to make more money, but I quickly found that more money wasn’t the answer.

2.  Aim to spend less, while working to make more

More money helps, but if your spending grows right along with it, you’ll continue to live paycheck to paycheck. I’ve been there! Within 6 years of graduating my salary more than tripled, but so did my expenses and debt. Needless to say, I saw the same struggle.
Breaking out of the struggle is less about how much you make, and more about what you do with what you have. If all of your money is going toward bills, or groceries, or entertainment, or any other item not helping you break out of your struggle, you need to cut back. Cut down to those items that you truly need. Ask yourself what are you willing to sacrifice now for a better future?
If you know where your money is going (from step #1), it’s easier to know where you can cut back. Track your “everyday” spending in addition to your monthly bills, and you will be surprised at what you find. You’ll see how those trips to Target and McDonalds add up!
For me, this was getting rid of cable, cutting back on other entertainment, hair products (#teamnatural!), and food, food, and more food.

3. Put the extra money towards things that will keep the cycle broken!

Cutting back is not fun or easy. I get it. But it gets easier when the money goes toward a better future. Getting rid of cable, so you can pay the light bill isn’t as fun as getting rid of cable, so you can build up your travel fund.That’s why #2 is so important. Minimize your bills so that your money can go toward things that allow you to do more, without being set back.
I cut back severely to save for our wedding, and we paid for it in full. I’m still on a tight budget to pay off student loans. I’ve set goals to make my future easier, but it requires I sacrifice a little right now.
As we get older, we want to do more stuff and enjoy life more. Think now about some of those things you’ll want to do in the future. Reward your future self with an emergency fund, a shopping fund, investments, and other financial goals that will make your current financial struggle temporary, breaking the paycheck to paycheck cycle.

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Marriage

3 Ways to Keep God's Love In Your Marriage

When We Become Nothing
by Sarah Westbrook
Love. We are exactly nothing without it. (1 Corinthians 13:2)
If you grabbed the most incredible person that exists on the planet (think of that person that pierces your heart and blows your mind), who has fulfilled jaw-dropping good things with God. If you remove love from them – they are reduced to nothing. Why do we fight so hard to be other things that we think are good and valuable? Probably because His love is so inhuman. It is radical. It is earth shaking. It is 1 Corinthians 13!
Where Is the Gospel In Our Marriage?
Five years ago, I was present when a man from Africa was asked “Why does your country see more miracles than we do here?” He replied, “Because we have no other options”. Because of their humble lifestyle, they reach for and experience His love and His power.
Our “options” and “negotiations” around His ways have so clearly crashed and burned in failure. If we would act like this wonderful people group from Africa and grasp that there are no other options for us, then we would have the gospel in our marriage. Power and love would be present and played out because we are grabbing ahold of it. I am beginning to understand that when God’s Kingdom comes to us and into our lives, it will probably look pretty foreign. It won’t look like anything we could ever do or be on our own.
Examine What Your Heart Treasures.
It’s not the outside world that wrecks us. Defilement happens inside our hearts. (Matthew 15:18-20) Where is our heart for each other? That is our ministry above all else. Allowing our feelings to call the shots and run the show has become so common. We freely judge each other.
We lean on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6) We forget all about speaking our spouse’s love language to them. We allow our love for them to get crowded out and turned off. We forget to recognize the good traits that God put in us for each other that we need so much. It’s not the outside world that defiles us. Defilement happens inside our hearts. (Matthew 15:18-20)
In my case, this especially takes place when the odyssey of raising children is underway. I get fixated on how uncomfortable I am, being pushed so far past my capabilities, riding a crash course of self-absorption obliteration, and living in the blazing reality that I feel no control of anything under the sun. I’m suddenly reminded that before I was my kids’, I was my husband’s.
A few ways to keep God’s love in your marriage:
 1. Be in His presence to receive love. Be a person that interacts with Him minute by minute and therefore remains in His transforming presence. The Kingdom of God is ‘at hand’. He is at our fingertips. “The Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk; it is living by God’s power.” – 1 Corinthians 4:20
 2. Fight for your spouse. War for them through prayer. Pray down His kingdom come in them and in the process your love for them gets turned on and you gain God’s unsurpassable heart for them.
3. Love your spouse from God’s perspective. Love them through their failures, incompleteness, and transformations. Tap into God’s feelings, compassion and plans for them.

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Home Marriage

Is Your Marriage Fireproof?

My husband and I watched the movie Fireproof this weekend. I urge all married couples and engaged couples to watch it as well. While watching the movie, all I could think was, “Is MY marriage fireproof?” I want to share with you a few things I learned from the movie.
Most people have a fight or flight mentality. When conflict arises are you going to stay and fight or run and leave (flight)? For me, I have a flight mentality. When serious conflict arises, I just want to run away and be left alone. As a married person, this is not fair to my husband who has a fight mentality.
One quote from the movie that stood out to me is, “Fireproof doesn’t mean that a fire will never come… But that when it comes, you’ll be able to withstand it.”
This quote stuck out to me because conflict will come in marriage, but when it does come are you strong enough to withstand it. Are you going to unite with your spouse and commit to getting through this tough time together or are you going to give up at the first sign of trouble. Even if your spouse is not committed, you should still be committed to making your marriage work.
This leads me to the next quote, “Never leave your partner behind, especially in a fire.”
When you get married, you are one. How silly would it be to leave yourself? Imagine firefighters fighting a massive fire. At that moment, the firefighters need each other the most to ensure safety and survival. When fires come in your marriage, that is when your spouse needs you the most. You wouldn’t purposely leave yourself stranded in the middle of a forest fire or outside in a hurricane, so why would you leave your spouse stranded in the middle of a fire pertaining to your marriage?
Another quote that stood out to me is, “God made marriage to be for life. That’s why you gotta keep your vows to your spouse. You gotta ask God to teach you how to be a good husband/wife. And don’t just follow your heart, because your heart can be deceived. But you gotta lead your heart.”
Feelings are fickle. You may not always feel like loving your spouse. You may not always feel like being a good wife. You may not feel like keeping the vows you made on your wedding day because things are hard now, and it wasn’t on your wedding day. You have to make a choice and a commitment to lead your feelings. You have to make a choice to do the right thing and show your spouse love and respect even when you FEEL he/she doesn’t deserve it. Pray about it. God will show you how. Remember you vowed for better or for worse. Worse will come. Remember the commitment you made before God, your family, and your friends.
I would love to hear from you. How do you plan on ensuring your marriage is Fireproof?

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage

4 Reasons why God Created Marriage

There are many great reasons to get married, for believers several of those reasons should be because we want to partner with God and his heart around this topic.  I am going to briefly share 4 biblical reasons for marriage. Most people view marriage as something solely for the two people and sometimes the extended family but God has some particular things he would like to see us model in marriage as well.
1. The kingdom is a family – The father, son and the Holy Spirit are one, they are a family. In their relationship we see the love of a father through father God, the submission of a loyal son, and his passion for a bride his church, and the compassion of  comforter, Holy Spirit. Jesus dying for the church should be modeled daily in the husbands pursuit for the wife, the honor and submission of the church to Jesus should be modeled daily through the wife.
2. Marriage is for communion and comfort–  We all have read the scripture in Genesis 2:18 that says man should not be alone. God created marriage so that we could have a partner through life, someone to walk every day out with, someone for communion, fellowship and comfort.
3.Multiply and be fruitful– Genesis 1:28 commands us to be fruitful and multiply. As believers we should have children, and in my opinion a lot of them. Every other religion sees the benefit of increasing their religion through children, I believe God has called us to expand the kingdom of God by raising mighty arrows/ children in the lord, for those who may not be able to conceive, adoption is always an option. Adoption is another way to show God’s love as we all have been adopted into the kingdom of God, do not ever be afraid to go that route. Moreover, as married couples our fruitfulness should not end with our children but in helping raise up spiritual children through mentoring and spiritual parenting, if we have a Godly heritage we can pass it and be fruitful by finding others to pour into.
4.Display of God’s love– A marriage should model and imitate the love of Jesus, when people look at your marriage they should want to know God better. The way we love our spouse should reflect the love God has for his children and vice a versa. We were all made for love, marriage is a way to display that love to the world.

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Dating/Courting Home

Why Every Single Person Better Know the Power Between Being Compatible Versus Being Suitable

The first account of marriage in the bible is found with Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:18. The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper SUITABLE for him.” (Emphasis mine)
God determined it was not good for man to be alone, so He created a woman who was just right for him. Now, in today’s culture we have become much more accustomed to compatibility versus suitability.
Let’s compare the two.
Compatible: able to exist or occur together without conflict.
Suitable: right or appropriate for a particular person, purpose, or situation.
Do you see why our generation has settled for a compatible person versus a suitable person? It is with a compatible person you focus more on external similarities such as: hobbies, friends, and interests.
Just because you both can laugh together over a movie and play basketball against one another does not make them a suitable spouse for you.
Suitability is the biblical term used in Genesis to describe the type of mate God created for Adam. A person who is suitable for you goes beyond similar interests, but more into the purpose of God for that person’s life. I agreed to not be in any relationship until after I graduated high school, which I successfully completed.
I did not enter into my first committed relationship until my second year of college. She was a great girl who loved God, and had a true desire for ministry. Everything made sense in my mind because we were very compatible and all of my friends were in complete support of it. It started out as a friendship, and eventually developed into more.
I would spend hours with God begging Him to tell me if she was the one.
I began to ride on the roller coaster of emotions rather than being patient to get a peace from God. One day while being on an emotional high, it resulted in me asking her into a committed relationship. From the first day I knew I had made a mistake.
Because I did not want to look bad in front of my friends, and also hurt her, I continued in the relationship believing I would eventually fall for her. That relationship lasted six months which it was a constant up and down roller-coaster for me going back and forth whether she was my wife or not.
One day I had a talk with a friend of mine that had been in a similar situation in a previous relationship. He said to me, “Jamal, God is too good to give you something you don’t desire.” I took that phrase to God, and asked Him, if it was true. For the first time in those six months I was honest with myself about how I really felt. I ended the relationship and fortunately we stayed pure during our time together.
There had been no physical tie, but an emotional tie did develop because of the seriousness of the relationship. She was a great friend and we were very much compatible, but we were not suitable. When a person suits your life there will be a peace because it means God has blessed the now, and the later.
The freedom that came over me after I ended the relationship was unexplainable in words. I knew I had put my life back into God hands, and I did not want to make the mistake of depending on myself ever again.
This is why it is imperative for you, as a believer, to pursue someone who is not only a believer, but also as spiritually mature as you. To determine suitability you must have the involvement of God in the relationship. A person who is suitable for you will be beneficial and necessary for God’s plan for your life.
 
This is an excerpt from my book, 25 Ways to Prepare for Marriage Other than Dating which is an Amazon Best Seller selling thousands of copies in a matter of weeks. This book will BLESS your entire life and then some! You can click here to purchase!

25ways3d

Categories
Dating/Courting Finances Home Parenting

6 Tips for Single Mothers to Maximize a Small Income

As a single mother, money can be a challenge when you have another life or lives to account for and you take on the bulk of the responsibility financially. Recently, I’ve been being challenged by God to not panic but to take a step back and really look at what I have to see how I can get the most out of it.  My job doesn’t pay the best but I’ve found that it is doable and it is teaching me a few things about my perspective(s) on money. Here’s what I’ve been learning so far:

1. More doesn’t necessarily mean better off. Yes, increase is great but more money can possibly create more problems if you have not mastered financial discipline. It is best to assess and be honest with where you are and what you can handle financially. Sometimes it’s not about having more to work with; the beauty in learning to maximize the small can be of great value to your future.

2. Work with what you DO have. With wisdom you can really make any amount of money fit your needs, trust me I am a witness. I’ve found that the key is prioritizing what is most important, eliminating or doing without things you want but don’t necessarily need right now, and using wisdom with how you spend what is left over.

3. Steward well over what you have. In Matthew 25:21, we see that Jesus gives the parable of the talents: The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together! Please know that God sees our irresponsibility and undisciplined practices with money, He cannot trust us with more if we do not steward or manage the little that we have properly.  I’d like to believe that God delights in increasing us but not if we will use it to cause more damage to ourselves financially.

4. Tap into resources that can help generate income.  And I don’t mean a get rich quick scheme. What is in your hands to create that can be a stream of extra income and potential wealth? Do you have a niche, a talent or hobby that can produce income? Or, can you learn to create something that can stream income into your home? Think of the Proverbs 31 woman who built her home, went out into the marketplace and generated income for her household (YouTube and the internet are full of DIY projects and crafts to learn). Find your niche and work it!

5. Spend your money with your FUTURE in mind. That will eliminate poor financial choices when you think of it this way. Everything we do or don’t do today inadvertently effects our future, especially when dependents are involved. Don’t cause for those depending on you financially to suffer at the expense of your poor spending habits. Again, assess and be honest with where you are. Do not try to live above your means to keep up with the Jones’, know your limits and stick to them.

6. Don’t despise small beginnings. It won’t be this way always. Instead of seeing this season as a struggle, see it as a small beginning. As you grow in wisdom financially, your finances will in turn grow. It is all about diligence, hard work, prioritizing and discipline.
Contirbuting Guest Writer Bio:
Shevante Walker is a woman of God, mother, daughter, sister and friend aspiring  to touch many lives with her testimony. Currently seeking her Bachelors  of science in Psychology, she has hopes of one day becoming a counselor  to aid in the healing of people’s minds, lives and spiritual well-being. It is her desire to allow the healed parts of her to heal the  brokenness in others. She is a liberator who longs to see people break  loose from the condemnation of their past and living in the freedom of  their future! 

Categories
Marriage Parenting

Discomfort & Big Bird: A First Time Preggo's Confession

I awoke for the second time with a terrible migraine. In the shape of a starfish (not on my side), disoriented, unknowingly hogging the double bed and ungraciously crowding my sweet husband who was teetering on the edge.
The teal colored night-lamp dispersed just enough light to see the ceiling.  The room was small, I could see all four walls out of the corner of my peripheral.  It seemed too bright for it to be 3AM. Was it really the middle of the night? Alas, this was family vacation.
I’ve grown to both love and loathe bedtime. I laid there, hot and sweating in the room set at a cool 70 degrees. Uncomfortable, trying to recite scriptures to memory; “God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble…” and was interrupted by nausea.
I quickly determined that no matter how beautiful, modern, or exquisite a vacation condo is–there’s no way to dress up a toilet. I sat on the bathroom’s beautiful marble floor and sobbed.
“I’m 19 weeks along. Why am I still sick with “morning” sickness?  I’m exhausted. Why are my prescriptions not working? Why does the smell of spearmint toothpaste make me want to puke more? God, can’t you just take away the nausea? I forgot to bring ginger ale. Why didn’t anyone tell me it was this hard? Shut up, you’ll wake Johnny, and they just drove over ten hours to get here. What on earth did I eat for dinner? What am I doing wrong? Why am I complaining– I ampregnant! You’ve prayed for this! You have a miracle inside of you. So many of your friends have suffered multiple miscarriages, failed adoptions, and been told they’ll never have children. You’re not dying. Rachel, stop being so selfish. Pull yourself together. Don’t be such a pansy. You’re such an ungrateful brat.”
These thoughts circled my mind like a lion closing in on it’s prey. Frustrated and angry. Then guilty and ashamed for being frustrated and angry. I could feel desperation’s sudden, not-so-subtle onset. Cue more tears; this is where I panic.
Then out of no where, I thought of a big bird. What on earth! (I should mention that I have a strong dislike for birds in general.) The thought continued to unfold; “He will cover you with his feathers.” I knew I had read it somewhere, but I hadn’t a clue where it was found. I crawled back into the room and grabbed my phone off the floor. I went on a google search frenzy: “scriptures; bible verses; ‘feathers…’”
Psalm 91. Bingo, well played google:

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust’…
He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be your shield and protection.
You will not fear the terror of night,nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

You see, this first-time-mommy is quick to think of God as Marahute, the golden eagle in Disney’s The Rescuers Down Under. So often I wonder why He hasn’t swooped me up out of my troubled circumstances and “fixed” everything that’s seemingly going wrong. Where is He in my “time of trouble”? Isn’t He omnipresent, omnipotent, and capable of anything?
Paradigm shift. I’d been sitting there for well over an hour praying for God to take the pain away, while all along, He was sitting there with me. Stillness swept over my heart as His gentle, loving peace soothed my weary soul. He was with me.
I’m starting to see that God doesn’t always change our circumstances, troubles or trials. But like a big momma hen (don’t laugh), He gently covers us with His wings and warms us with His feathers. He faithfully sits in the crud and through storms of life with us. He comforts our hearts, speaks peace to our minds, sustains our spirit, and won’t leave us for a moment.  He is ever faithful; this is our Savior.
I’d be lying if I said I’ve only had a few nights like this. To be honest, pregnancy has been a journey of ever increasing faith. I’ve been challenged, pushed beyond what I thought were my limits, and been sicker than ever in my life. But along with my tummy, my trust and confidence in Christ has grown– and for that alone I am thankful. Our pastor, Todd Wagner’s version of Paul’s writings has been my motto over the last few months: “If dependence on Christ is the goal, then weakness is an advantage.” My prayer is that in times of need, my heart would turn to Him.
So whether you’re a first timer struggling through pregnancy, have six children, praying for children, or going through a stormy season– snuggle up to His side and let Him pull you through. He’s promised to work all things together for your good and His glory. Daddy Big Bird promised.

Categories
Engaged Finances Home Marriage

How to get a Designer Bedroom for Less

This clean, mid century modern bedroom was designed by the amazing, world renown, Interior Designer, Kelly Wearstler.
This room probably costs in the range of  $10,000 – $20,000 to create. I have pulled some resources together to give this look for a price that is substantially less than $10,000. Interior Design does not have to stretch your wallet and affordable design does not have to look cheap.
I have attached the links to each item that I believe gives a similar look to what Kelly used in this bedroom.

Items you will need to recreate this look:

1. Area Rug
2. Gourd Lamps
3. Side Tables
4. Bedding
5. Mirror
6. Self Adhesive Accent Wallpaper
8. Ikat Pillow

9. Headboard

10. Bench

Do you have a room that you would like me to recreate for less? Send me an email at skiptomyrue@gmail.com. Your submission could be featured as another blog post.

Categories
Dating/Courting Home

The Three Things I Learned While Courting

The moment I saw her, the heavens opened to illuminate her, angels sang and I heard God say, “She is your wife”. Within a week I had informed her and the entire campus that she was my wife, but it took five years for this to transpire. While God showed me the result of His plan, I wasn’t ready. God needed to prepare me for my wife. There were three things I had to do to be prepared as Melissa’s husband.
1. Learn to Put God First

The moment God showed me that Melissa was my wife, I was full steam ahead. My focus was doing everything in my power to make God’s promise happened. In doing so I ignored a very important scripture, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and it’s righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. In order for me to see God’s plan come to pass I was supposed to seek God and not the object of my affection.
After three and a half years of chasing Melissa, I stopped. I began to focus solely on my relationship with God. Instead of chasing Melissa, I began to chase God. A funny thing began to happened, Melissa started to slowly creep towards me.
2. Know What God Wants for Me
I actually did this before I knew Melissa was my wife, but it couldn’t come before “put God first” on my list. God showed me that you only receive what you require. Therefore I wrote requirements for my spouse. I did not write the list on my own. I consulted God as to what should be on my list.
I knew I wanted a wife who is in love with Jesus, gorgeous, college educated and a fantastic mother. God agreed with those requirements, but of course helped me fill in other details. I hadn’t thought about asking for a wife who would be able to run the affairs of the home should I be gone for a month. God helped me see details, that I would have otherwise overlooked.
3. Become What I Required
Since it was so important that my wife be in love with Jesus, gorgeous, educated and a fantastic mother, God made sure that I was her equal. Everyone wants God to send them a spouse who is just right for them. Are you you? Are you the you, you think you should be, or the you God thinks you should be? God is going to send you one of His prized possessions. Be the best you that He intends. I had to become the me He saw me as.
So I began to chase Him. As I began to chase Him, He began to develop me into the husband that was fit for the wife He had for me. I grew closer to Him and grew in my ministry. As I did so! Melissa began to take notice. One thing my wife will tell you is that the reason why she hesitated to like me at first was because I had no idea how to dress. She said she began to notice me, when I began to learn how. God did that, not me.
Your courting experience may not be identical to mine, but I bet the three elements previously mentioned will be involved. So be sure to put God first, know what God wants for you and become what you require.
Question: I mention putting God first, why do you think that this is so important?

Continue reading “The Three Things I Learned While Courting”
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Home

4 Things to Do to Prepare for Your Future Marriage

A few weeks ago I planned to start eating healthier, however the night before I was to start day one of my journey to healthy eating I was too lazy to go to the store to get the items I needed for the next day. When I woke up I was starving, but I had no fruit or anything healthy to eat.
I ended up eating foods that were unhealthy because I was NOT prepared! Although marriage has more aspects and levels than making the decision to eat healthier, the concept of preparation is quite similar. If you desire to be married some day, it is imperative that you prepare before a door is opened for a new relationship that has the potential for marriage.
The night before I was scheduled to begin day one of a healthier me, I had every intention in the world to commit wholeheartedly to start eating better. Although I made up in mind to start the next day, I did not invest the time to get up, go to the store and do the necessary grocery shopping in order to be prepared for what I “intended” to do. Entering into a covenant marriage is the same. Having a desire for marriage alone is not enough to succeed at it.
Having intentions to be the best husband/wife you can possibly be is not a guarantee that you will, especially if you skip the preparation stage. It is important for unmarried men and women who desire marriage to invest into preparing for marriage now.
If there is no preparation, you will most likely enter into your marriage blindly and experience avoidable issues and problems that could have been addressed prior to meeting your mate.
If you don’t invest in the preparation stage, in addition to normal marital obstacles, you will add more unnecessary stress and weight to your future marriage which will eventually complicate things in the end and attribute to an unhappy or failed marriage.
So what are some things that you can do to prepare for your future marriage?
1). Learn how to embrace and enjoy your season of being unmarried.
Instead of complaining to God every other day about why everyone around you is married, focus on the blessings that come along with not having the responsibility of marriage in this season of your life. Use your time to do the things that can help build your future such as going back to school, getting rid of any debt you may have and build meaningful friendships.
2). Self-Evaluation!
Evaluate where you really are in your life. Are you healthy and stable enough (mentally and financially) to invite someone in your life right now? How do you handle stress? How is your attitude towards others? Are you controlling? Do you have the ability to be faithful?  Do you have lasting and healthy friendships? Have you reconciled with family or friends who offended you in the past? Are you prideful? Are you selfish? How is your character? Many of these questions will help you to determine if you are ready to be joined to another person in covenant marriage.
3). Get Healed, Delivered and Restored!
Allow God to heal you from the wounds and soul ties from past relationships. Whether it is intimate relationships, relationships with your parents, siblings or past friendships that failed. Healing, deliverance and restoration is necessary in order to move forward and to produce new fruitful relationships.
The worst thing you can do is make your future spouse pay for what your ex, sister, brother, friend, mother, father, etc… did to you in the past! Surrender your past baggage to God so that when the right time and person comes along, you will be free to move forward in covenant with your future mate without any major hindrances.
4). Learn to trust God
(Proverbs 3:5). Often times unmarried men and women who desire marriage lose their hope, faith and trust in God concerning whether or not he will send them a husband/wife and they begin to doubt their future. If God promised you marriage and a family, he will do just that…in His timing! Build your trust and faith by studying his word and investing time communicating with God daily in order to stay tuned in with what he is doing in your life. Remember God’s promises over you are yes and amen!
We live in a society where preparation is despised or viewed as being unnecessary, however if you intend to be the best husband/wife to your future mate the best gift you can give them is being prepared to love, cherish, honor, respect and to value them without the weight and stress of your past issues vying for your attention.