Month: January 2016

Categories
Parenting

3 Ways to help your child Flourish

Being a new mother, everyday I am inquiring of the Lord on how I can be the best example to my budding little girl. Through much prayer as well as trial and error. I am still learning, but I believe God revealed to me three key components that will help guide you in leading your little one into destiny!
Your Relationship With The Lord Matters– Your development & Relationship with the Lord is detrimental to the trajectory of your parenting.  Remember that your child is a gift from the Lord (psalms 127:3) We are to stuart them and lead them in the truth of the Lord. How can we lead them into the things of God if you do not know Him for yourself? If you are struggling with how to pray or direct your children into light and wisdom you need to look introspectively and ask yourself if there are any areas of your life in which you have unconsciously or consciously neglected your covenant relationship with the Lord. As you seek Him with all of your heart, He will begin to highlight areas of your life or relationship with Him that may be stagnant, void or dry.
Confront your Fears– Before I had my daughter the Lord began to minister to my heart about my personal fears and began to soften my heart to dealing with those fears. He began to show me how generational curses begin, they start with undealt and unresolved issues that ones family refuses to confront and get freedom in. As God began to reveal to me how even my slightest fears can be passed down to my children if not dealt with intentionality I began to allow God access into the crevices and idiosyncrasies  of my heart he began to shed light and courage and tenacity began to arise within my heart to fight courageously to overcome them not just for me but for my children and their children’s children.“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” -Ephesians 6:12
 
Never Stop Praying– Don’t take for granted the access and ability you have as a daughter or son of God to pray heaven down over your children and family. Committing to fighting the good fight of faith on behalf of your seed rends results not just spiritually but naturally. When you commit to living a life a prayer, God will begin to give you wisdom and insight into your children’s future, he will begin to entrust you with his heart for your children and in turn it will  become your heartbeat for your child. God knows your son our daughter better than anyone, why not seek him to help develop and mold your little warriors into confident and secure kings and queens. “Never stop praying”– 1 Thessalonians 5:17 
 
I pray that these three points encouraged and inspired you to be the parent that God has called you to be. I pray that you will now look at your children throughout the clear and undefaulted lenses of God and that your passionate love for your children will begin to develop and overflow as time passes. Remember we are all a work in progress, yet with God he gives us his mercy and grace without recompense, so continue to exude that same mercy and grace to your budding warriors! 

Categories
Home Single

15 Prayers For Singles to Pray While They Wait for Their Mate

Beautiful Girl reading her Bible by the sea

While waiting for your mate there are many things that you should be doing. Preparing emotionally, financially, spiritually, seeing the world, understanding your purpose and growing in God. With all the preparation that is needed, the main areas you want to focus on is : praying for yourself, your mate and your future together. Below are 15 prayers you can pray and declare daily for you and your future spouse.

  1. I declare that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and God has great plans for my life.
  2. I declare my identity is not found in success, money or a mate but in being in you Jesus.
  3. I declare that I will fulfill the plans of God over my life.
  4. I declare I am a man or woman of purpose, honor, and integrity.
  5. I declare that I am a suitable mate and will bring favor and honor to my spouse.
  6. I declare that my past does not dictate my future relationships.
  7. I declare that my past will not detour me but propel me deeper into to God and towards the mate and life he has for me.
  8. I declare that I am spiritually, physically and finically whole; I will bring something to the table.
  9. I declare I will not be deceive but with clear mind, wisdom and discernment will be able to know the perfect person God has brought for me.
  10. I declare that my marriage and family will prosper.
  11. I declare that my mate, wherever he is, is being prepared to be a wonderful and suitable mate for me.
  12. I pray for my future spouse’s mind, and that they are rooted and grounded in you.
  13. I come against any tactics of the enemy that would come to derail my future spouse and hence causing him to miss our connection.
  14. I declare that all those around us will be blessed because of our relationship.
  15. I declare that no good thing will the lord withhold from those that love him.

 
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Amen.

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Home Single

7 Things You Must Know About Yourself Before You Get Married

female hands with pen writing on notebook on grass outside

In the classic book, Art of War, Suz Tzu states, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
 
Then, we have Shakespeare who coined the phrase, “to thyself be true”.
 
It is within these two powerful quotes that capture one of the most important things you could ever do which is to learn yourself. One of the greatest assets for going into marriage is knowing oneself well.
 
Here are 7 things you must know about yourself before you get married.

  1. Know what tempts you.

Some have bought into the lie that when you get married that your attraction will be only for your spouse. This is the furthest from the truth. Self control is one of the most important qualities to master before you get married. You must know what your weaknesses are before you marry so you can stay far away from them within marriage. Adultery is nothing to play with and has ruined many lives.
2. What you’re good at.
Just like you should learn what your weaknesses are you should also learn what comes natural to you. Another powerful asset to marriage is knowing what you bring to the table. No man or woman wants to marry a person that doesn’t increase their overall value as a couple. When I met my wife I knew immediately how she added to me by recognizing her strengths in comparison to my weaknesses.
3. Know where you spend your time.
Have you ever taken your entire week and assessed it for where you spent every single minute of your day. Talking about learning yourself. My mercy. You will immediately learn where you’re wasting to much time and also the things that you’re neglecting
4. What entertains you.What do you like to do for fun? What makes you laugh?   What do you like to do calm down and enjoy the results of a job well done. Being a workaholic in marriage can suck the life out of your marriage very quick.   Learn now how to have fun doing what entertains you.
5. What motivates you.
We all have those days where we don’t want to get out of bed due to the overwhelming stress of life, heavy responsibilities, and sometimes pure I don’t care anymore thoughts. It is at these times you must know what motivates you. What will you find refuge in for a source of revitalizing your passion towards life. I have days where I want to quit, but then I think on the things that are my why for life. It is these things that help me fight the good fight each and every day. What are your whys for life? What motivates you to keep going when life is knocking you down?
6. What hurts you.
Everyone hurts differently and is hurt by different things. What you have to realize is that hurting is a part of relationships. I love it how this lyrical genius put it in this song, “ Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” You can’t go into any relationship with the fear of getting hurt. That is the great risk of loving people. But, it is good to know what hurts you in order to help those close to you. My wife and I had a very candid conversations about the things that hurt each other. We both had different things, and because of that conversation I know how to love her better.
7. Your love language
We all give and receive love differently. Knowing your love language is so pivotal for the health of your relationships. The 5 love languages are, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. It is found that what you do the most naturally is usually your love language.
 
I pray these 7 things will help you dive deeper into learning yourself better in order to be a greater asset to your future spouse.

Categories
Communication Home Marriage

4 Ways To Not Be A Boring Husband

I was sitting on the couch last week looking across the living room at my gorgeous wife when I realized I had gotten in a rut.
It was the boring rut.
We can get caught in a rut overnight or slide into it slowly over weeks.
Here is what is dangerous about a Boring Rut:
Your wife can be OK with it.
She can be fine with just hanging out with you. She might even say she doesn’t need adventure or something different, because she is fine just being with you.
She may also be fine sitting with you watching a boring TV show. But, why not find an exciting show to watch together?
She may also be fine going to a restaurant and eating so-so food. But, why not find a restaurant that offers deliciously satisfying food?
So, what do you do when you realize you have become lazy and are living in a boring rut?  Here are 4 ways to get out of that boring rut:
1. You have to care
As a leader at work, I care that my employees are giving me 1/3 of their day. I want to maximize that time so they feel satisfied at work and are productive. Their satisfaction means something to me.
In the same way, you need to care that your wife deserves the best. You need to care that her satisfaction is a priority.  If you are apathetic, you need to repent of that and ask God to give you a hunger for a life-giving marriage.
2. Tweak the daily rituals
The monotonous rituals in your marriage can become boring or they can be inspiring.  Here are some ways to tweak them:
Coming home: Pull into your driveway and rev your care engine. This will work if your wife is home the same time as you. When she opens door and asks what you are doing. Tell her that your car is an extension of your love for her and the engine is an extension of your heart. As the engine revs up so your heart is reved up for her. Another way to tweak coming home is to kiss her for 10 seconds when you enter the house instead of going to the couch, checking mail, etc.
Convo’s: Go on a walk in the neighborhood compared to just sitting down in the house talking.
Date Night: Check local Facebook groups, etc to find new activities to do. Or do one thing that is different on your regular date night–something that you normally don’t do.
3. Know when you are falling back into the boring rut
If you are physically fit, you can check the scale, heart rate, etc. to know if you are staying fit. But, how do you measure if you have fallen back into the boring rut?
Here is a simple way for you to know:
Ask your wife, “On a scale of 1-10, how innovative or adventurous am I as a husband? Or ask, “I want you to be my biggest fan. What are some things I used to do in our marriage that you would really appreciate if I started doing again?”
4. Sustain the innovation in your marriage
In your work life, you probably either use Google calendar or Outlook to make your performance more productive, to not forget important meetings, and to ensure you stay on task.
You need to do the same thing with your marriage so you stay out of the boring rut.
Here are some marriage ideas to add to your calendar:
Times for you to brainstorm date ideas.
Times to randomly text your wife during the day to let her know you are thinking of her.
Time to plan your next weekend getaway.
When you need to buy a marriage book, listen to marriage podcast, etc.
Don’t allow a boredom rut to get deeper in your marriage. You are the innovator of your marriage. You are the creative architect of your marriage. Ask God to give you the passion to keep your marriage fresh.
Question: What have you done recently to keep your marriage out of the boredom rut?