Category: Engaged

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Engaged Finances Marriage Parenting

When the Favor God Promised in Marriage is Tested

As I was spending time with God a few weeks ago, I was lead to write in my journal.  When I began to write I hear the Holy Spirit say that the next 3 months would be very pivotal months of our marriage because God is preparing us for greater level of exposure and increase.  Yes, I got very excited at the thought of productivity and more opportunities, but not at all did I consider what needed to happen in order to make us ready for it.  I sit down with Natasha and discuss with her what I believe God had spoken to me.  She agreed for us to begin to prepare every area of our life for increase, which includes: time management, finances, relationship with Jesus, and relationships with others.
 
As we moved into the month of February, a domino effect of events began to occur from my car breaking down costing us $700.00 to fix, which thank God we had a emergency fund to cover that.  Then, the next week I get a call regarding a financial situation that hadn’t been taken care of that now was costing us over $1,500.00.  At this moment I was like, “Really God?”  As a husband, I stand on Proverbs 18:22 which states, “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”. I know many quote this, but I stand on it as a promise from God.  Well, that verse had me scratching my head saying, “Where’s that favor at?”
 
Marriage is under attack in the body of Christ for a reason, and I believe its because the enemy knows the greatest display of the work and love of Christ towards His people is found in a God centered marriage! God desires to bless those who enter into this covenant, which we agree that anything God puts favor upon, testing will follow.  We had to adjust our spending drastically to make up for the set back. This caused Natasha and I to turn to God to get His perspective, as we knew these situations were testing our faith in God’s ability to turn this thing for His good.  As we set our hearts to trust Him during this trial God has strengthen our dependency on Him.   Our times of prayer together has erupted something within us towards one another causing a recommitment to love one another no matter the circumstance.
 
I want to encourage you whether you are a husband or wife in the middle of a moment where you don’t understand why it’s happening, but you trust God to turn it for your good. Do not be dismayed and allow this season to discourage you ultimately affecting you, your spouse, and your family. Be strong in the Lord and declare His goodness is better than any earthly trial or gain. As we go through we are praying for YOU to make it through with us.
trials < Jesus

 Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Physical Intimacy

Ask Dr. Faith |8 Spiritual Red Flags To Look For In A Relationship

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage Physical Intimacy

5 Quick Ways to Jumpstart to a Healthy Lifestyle

Many times I paid to write articles hear people say, ” I can’t afford to buy whole/organic foods” or “I don’t have enough time to work out and get fit/healthy.”

I know in this part of the Western World, eating unhealthy foods and skipping the gym is so much easier and convenient, but I promise you: the hospital bills, the medicine script, the exhausted and overworked body and ultimately the sickness is WAY more expensive than taking steps to living in wholeness NOW.

Here’s a great way to start:

1.

Recruit help!

Bring a friend in on your choice to live healthy and stay accountable!

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It’s so much easier and way more fun to do it with someone else.

 

2. Get educated!

Watch a documentary: Food Matters, Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead, or Forks over Knives are great Netflix movies!

 

3. Make some changes!

Cut something out (soda, fast food, eating late) and replace it with something else (water, home-cooked meal, veggie snack).

 

4. Discipline your body!

Sign up to the gym, a cross fit class, a home workout routine, running, biking… whatever! Do something that will burn fat, release endorphins and make you feel good about yourself!

 

5. Love yourself:

Value your body enough to give it what it needs to work properly! This is going to make you a healthy, happy you! You are worth the investment! Don’t just settle for what McDonalds offers you! Your body needs nutrients! So give it what it needs to be healthy!

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Dating/Courting Engaged Finances Home Marriage Parenting

2 Things That Will Make Your Marriage Thrive

Do you know that the decisions you make today will affect your future as well as the future of your offspring? This does not just relate to married couples, but to the engaged and unmarried as well.  I am learning on a whole other level the power of prayer and planning! Prayer and planning has been key for me during this new season of marriage. Before I said I do, and even after I remember women from every age and background were telling me how essential prayer would be to my marriage and family. 

1. What should I pray about? 
Pray for your husband of course, but don’t stop there. Pray over your household’s finances, your job, extended family and your children whether born or unborn. God hears your prayers. He is a God who lives in the future! He loves talking about the future with you and enjoys the process in which you discover those plans through prayer and quiet time with Him. As you are faithful I’m praying, watch the temperature and presence of your home exude love, peace and joy! Yes. You have the ability to be a conduit in which God will use to bless your house now and the houses of your offspring.
2. What do I need to plan? 
It says In the word of God for us to write the vision and make it plain, so that whoever reads it may run with it and understand for it will be released at an appointed time. (Habakuk 2:2)  Planning and casting vision for your future as well as your family’s is something I believe every woman should partake in.  I’m learning that absolutely nothing is too big for God! Create a vision board, journal it or discuss with your spouse your plans and vision for the future and watch God bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
At the end of the day it is not about you. It’s about those who are before you and those who will follow after you. Pray over them now and cast vision over your life and the lives of your family. You have the power to change, rearrange and restore with your prayers, words and vision!

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Dating/Courting Engaged Single

4 Benefits To Waiting Until Marriage To Have Sex

 

A popular pastor that I follow quotes that sex can be considered 3 things, “gross, god, or a gift.” I believe this to be very true in our day due to how sex is overrated outside of marriage and underrated within marriage.  It is gross to those that have been taught their entire life that sex is bad and will cause people to look at you differently.  For some it can be made a god if its not taught on biblically from God’s original intent.  But, it is God’s purpose for sex to be seen as a gift.  Sex is a gift to be shared with your spouse within the confines of marriage.   My wife and I by the grace of God were both virgins at the moment of saying, “I Do”, to one another on our wedding day.

Here are 4 benefits of waiting until marriage to have sex.

1. Keeps God at the center of your relationship
Honoring God in our relationship was my wife and I’s supreme goal and saying no to sex made that goal easily accomplishable. God is the inventor of marriage, which means you need Him in your marriage in order to have a healthy one.  The stages before you say “I Do’ are the most crucial for laying a solid foundation for your marriage.  Establishing a no sex boundary will keep you focused on the important aspects of a courting relationship.  Yes, the desire to have sex will come, but with God you will be able to have the strength to resist temptation.  Trusting God in your relationship will help you to make a confident decision when you feel that person may be the one you desire to marry.
 2. Learn how to talk it out before you walk it out
Communication has always been and will always be one of the key components of a healthy relationship.  My wife and I had a long distance relationship so majority of our time spent before marriage was over Skype or on the phone.  It was one of the hardest things I had ever done, but it was so worth it.  We really learned each other on so many levels, and when we did see one another the boundaries we had set in place kept us focused on enjoying one another communicatively versus physically.  Early sexual satisfaction in a relationship delays you from discovering key areas of the relationship such as ability to commit, compatibility, and agreement on future goals.
 3. Protects you from being attached before you say “I Do”.
There are only a few things that can attach you to someone for the rest of your life and two of those is a child together and sex. Children are a blessing from the Lord, but can also be a challenge to raise in hard circumstances.  Protect yourself from this by agreeing to wait until marriage to have sex. Another attachment that can form through sexual activity is a soul tie.  Sex was created by God to tie that couple together forever, but when done outside of marriage the same effect happens.  But, now it’s an illegitimate tie versus a covenantal tie.  Sex outside of marriage may feel good in that moment, but thats all you will be left with after that night is over.  If the relationship doesn’t work out, then breaking it off will be much easier if there hasn’t been a spiritual soul tie through sex.
 4. Incomparable sex within marriage.
You can guarantee that if you abstain from having sex during your courting stage that the value you place upon one another will last your entire life.  This value adds volumes to your sex life in marriage. Study shows that those that wait to have sex are happier in the long run. I do not look at my wife like a piece of meat, but a treasure worth being handled with tender care.  I proved that to her by denying my flesh, and leading the stand for our purity.  Our wedding night was the most beautiful encounter as we exchanged our gifts to another.  Our marriage was established on a sure foundation with God in the center of it all. Married people have the best sex!
 
Even if you have already had sex in a previous relationship that doesn’t disqualify you from making the decision to abstain until you are married.  If you are in a sexually active relationship now, but desire to change things then pray for God to give you wisdom as you approach your girl/boyfriend. I guarantee you it will be worth it in the end.

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Engaged Marriage

5 Things Satan Wants For Your Husband

After praying in the spirit, God has shown me 5 Things That LIFE (and Satan) wants to do to our Husbands:
1.     Drain his strength and make him weak spiritually.
2.     Seduce him into unsafe places.
3.     Work against God establishing Him financially, professional and spiritually.
4.     Distract him from his First Love- communion with Christ through excessive busyness   and doubt.
5.     Play against his confidence and capabilities by highlighting his weakness.

All Lies of the enemy!!! And for EVERY LIE THERE IS A TRUTH BUT YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO ACCESS TRUTH!!

WHAT DO I DO?
When you sense that this is going on with your spouse, allot time DAILY to PRAY in the Spirit for him.
WHY AM I DOING IT?
26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers[l<rmony with God’s own will. Romans 8:26-27 NLT
**The reason I strongly suggest praying in the spirit for him is because a lot of times when we notice something wrong with our spouses it affects us in a way that makes us unproductive.
“Praying in the spirit helps filter what is going on without taking it personally but taking personal responsibility for what we see”.
In other words, if you do not spend ample time praying BEYOND your understanding then your emotions will get in the way and cause you to sabotage your husband’s season of stretching (growth) and neglect your place.

ONE OF THE BIGGEST WEAKNESSES OF A LOT OF WOMEN IS OUR EMOTIONS.

“Praying in the spirit allows us to receive the reality of God beyond our weak emotions”.

I have made this mistake so many times in my life and it has left my husband even more confused and worried about what’s going on with ME and the chaos in his own life. After praying in the spirit God MOVED MY EMOTIONS OUT OF THE WAY so that I could SEE what season my husband was in more clearly and how I could HELP him accomplish what God was working in him through LIFE’S experiences.
LADIES, my prayer today is that we forsake our emotions and fight to see the bigger picture through PRAYER!!
Have eyes that SEE and ears that HEAR GOD for him.
Sincerely walking this out with you!
Love,
Kimberly Allen

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage Parenting Physical Intimacy

Ask Dr. Faith |5 Steps to Overcoming Betrayal

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home

How Close Is To Close?

As a single man, I sometimes wrestle with the the thought of being close to a woman. I mean really how close is to close? I want to be close but at the same time I want to be pure. I definitely do not want to open up doors before they should be open or even open up a door that was never meant to be open. For me this is difficult because I am naturally friendly and enjoy being around people.
So I pose this question, how close is to close???
Now I could sit here all day long and write out a whole lot of do’s and dont’s and give you all the guidelines and boundaries but the reality is when there are rules in place, we usually find ways around them or even to break them. I can say all day long do not kiss a girl while you are single but that would probably make you want to do it more. It’s always the forbidden fruit that we desire the most.
I joke often about a defense mechanism that I once heard somebody say. If a girl gets close enough to kiss me, I’m just going to punch her. It would kill the mood, the vibe, and the moment. Before you throw any stones, I am just kidding. However, when I think about somebody being that close to me, I think about what happened for them to get to that place. As well as what did I do to make them feel comfortable enough to do something of the sort.
Here is a real situation. I was planning on going to a bible study one night. Earlier in the day I had a meeting with a female friend of mine to discuss some ministry events. After the meeting I simply invited her to the Bible study. She politely asked if she could ride with me to the Bible study. Since I didn’t really see an issue with it, I agreed.
That night as we were on our way to the bible study, we were having regular conversations (nothing inappropriate) when suddenly, I got this feeling. It was a feeling of conviction. As I thought to myself why do I feel this way. The thought that came immediately after was WHO ARE YOU ACCOUNTABLE TO? I knew right at that moment that I was too close. Maybe not too close to a person but to close to temptation.
Close is not about the physical boundaries because you can set rules and regulations all day for that. Too close is simply being in a place where you are not held accountable for your actions. that night I realized that I jeopardized my purity. I put to much trust in my own flesh.

James 1: 14-15NLT says “temptation comes from our own desires which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow it gives birth to death.”

How close is too close? Too close is the moment you stop being accountable to someone stronger than you are and trust your flesh more than you trust accountability.

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Engaged Marriage

The Other Side Of "I Do"

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage

3 Problems Blaming Others For Your Actions Creates

The blame game has been going on for many years. Even when Adam and Eve were confronted about their mistakes in the Garden of Eden they blamed someone else. When asked why he did what he did, Adam went from calling Eve “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh” to “that woman you put here with me.” (Genesis 2:23 & Genesis 3:12). When Eve was asked why she did what she did, she blamed the serpent (Genesis 3:13). It seems like we have always had problems taking responsibility for our actions. This accountability issue is still heavily present in our generation today.
This creates 3 HUGE problems.
1. The first problem with the blame game is that it takes the ability to change the situation out of your hands. If ALL your problems are TRULY someone else’s fault, then you can’t do anything about it. But, if you were to admit that you were responsible for a lot of these problems, if not all of your problems, then you become empowered to change them. Once you begin to look for what you could have done differently to stop the problem from occurring and what you can do now to fix the problem, you are no longer a victim who has no say or control, but are now the answer/solution to your problems!!
2. The second problem with the blame game is that it makes it nearly impossible for you to grow as a person. If you are constantly focusing on the spec in someone else’s eye, it’s going to be hard for you to fix the plank in your own eye. When you refuse to take fault when you are at fault, you are actually cheating yourself out of a valuable growth opportunity. You can’t fix something you don’t first recognize is broken. When you come out of denial and begin to focus on your own issues, you can then begin to fix them, which will result in personal growth!
3. The third problem with the blame game is that it makes having any kind of meaningful, long-term, and truly loving relationship impossible. If you view every issue as being someone else’s fault you will be quick to leave, quit, and give up, and you will always be looking for someone else who can make you happier. You will never be satisfied. You will be constantly running from problems, only to find out the one consistent problem in your life is YOU! This will affect ALL of your relationships such as:

  • Friendship: If you refuse to believe you are a part of the problem, you will constantly be fluctuating between friends groups and will never truly find those life-long friends. No friend is perfect, including you. If you can’t seem to maintain friends to save your life, you may want to re-evaluate what the issue really is.
  • Family: It really is possible to get along with your family even if you have different value systems and views. Just because they may be a little different from you doesn’t mean you can’t get along. If you have an estranged relationship with a primary family member, chances are you have played some role in the current status of that relationship.
  • Dating/Courting/Engaged/Married: “On to the next one” seems to be the motto we live by in our love relationships today. If we aren’t satisfied or happy with this person, well then we deserve to leave and find someone who will make us happy! The issue with this mentality is that the problem seems to continuously follow us around no matter who we are with, which leads to more boyfriends/girlfriends than we can count on fingers and toes, divorce, heartbreak, and an overall bitterness towards love. Well I’m here to tell you that no matter who you are with, you WILL have problems. Yes, I do believe that there are some people better suited for each other than others. However, no matter who you end up with, your issues will always be there waiting to be dealt with too. Once you realize that you have problems and that your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse chooses to love you and stay with you anyway, you will be less focused on their issues. Its easy to run away and skip and hop between relationships, but its also less fulfilling and will never result in the depths of love that can only be experienced in a deep committed covenant relationship.

Resolution: Although it will be uncomfortable, it is worth it to learn how to take responsibility for your actions and become accountable for who you are. Once you stop blaming others, you are free to change your life. You will gain both better relationships and a better you!
 
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