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Dating/Courting Single

If God Is Faithful Then Why Am I Waiting?

Written By: Richelle Henry
I used to pray and be mad at God.  I was so mad at the fact that He wouldn’t listen to me concerning my future spouse anymore. I was so mad that, try as I might, He still wouldn’t give me what I wanted. I mean, I’ve been faithful. I cut off all those “randoms,” and I even stopped praying about it and I’m still here. Single.
 
How often have you felt the above? How often have you sat down and realized that the Lord was taking way too long? I mean, why would He promise you something and then make you wait? You did EVERYTHING He told you to do and still you find yourself upset, impatient, and feeling totally forgotten.  Well, I hear you!  I confess, I’ve shaken my fists at God on numerous occasions because I, like you, became tired of waiting.
 
I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve offered the Lord a few conditional prayers. You know, the “If you do this, then I will do this” kind of prayers. I’ve treated the Lord as though we’re simply business partners instead of realizing that we are in a loving relationship as Father and Child.
 
However, waiting on God, means waiting on the One who makes good on every single promise that He’s ever made. I know that you read that and probably sucked your teeth, because the statement sounds like a clichéd and repeated one. However, He fulfills His word. When I think of all the promises that He’s made concerning my life, the ones that He’s fulfilled and the ones that I’m currently awaiting fulfillment for, I realize that He is worthy of trust, because His character is trustworthy.
 
Often times, we take unfulfilled promises and use them to make tick marks on our “faithfulness of God” survey. You know, the imaginary scoreboard that we keep for God, as a method of measuring His faithfulness and ability.  We take visibility and manifestations of promises spoken as notches of glory that we ascribe only when evidence is found. We have become wearied waiters because we’ve been too busy contending with a truth that will never change and that truth is God and His faithfulness.
 
Honestly, we aren’t truly fighting God, because He has no worthy opponent—particularly not His creation. Again, I have wrestled with the idea that God is not faithful and concluded on different occasions that waiting is designed torment. But remember that even the best lie from the enemy cannot overstep the faithfulness and truthfulness of the Lord.
 
God is so sure when He speaks that He even swears by Himself when it comes to fulfillment (Genesis 22:16). Faithfulness isn’t just what He does, but it is every fiber of who He is (Hebrews 10:23).  May we hold fast in the weariness. May we rehearse His character despite our discomfort. May we remember the One who comes through. Every. Single. Time.
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

Five Things I Would Tell My Teenage Self About Marriage

This is a little embarrassing for me to admit, but hey, I’m feeling pretty generous today: most of what I learned about romance, I learned from Saved by the Bell. Zack Morris, the smooth-talking, charismatic, “blonde Tom Cruise” protagonist had that effect on lots of men-in-training in the late 80’s to mid 90’s.
As a burgeoning teen in late 90’s, I started to see that reality truly is stranger than fiction. Zack Morris’ charm only had the support and pull of teenagers everywhere because his style was scripted to work. For the rest of us, we allow God to write our story.
My “Zack Morris Worldview” changed me. As I’ve drawn closer to the Lord and come to know the power of grace, and a transformed mind, I’ve learned that there is so much more than a silver tongue: character.
If I could go back in time and walk the halls of my middle school, watching my insecure self attempt to be suave and fit in, I would look him in the eye, place my hand on my shoulder, and say, “Don’t settle for the fool’s gold, Daniel, wait for the treasure trove!”
Here’s what else I would tell him…er, me:
1.  “Promiscuity isn’t cool.” By God’s grace, I saved myself for my wife, but my friends and fellow classmates sure didn’t make it easy. We validated one another by how many people we made out with, how many girls were interested and how far we pushed the boundaries. Teenage Daniel, you don’t need “practice.” The more you save for your beautiful  wife in the future, the better. In fact, King Solomon tells young men to run from the promiscuous woman. (Proverbs 5)
2. ‘Waiting for the one’ is cool. God’s standards of “cool” are way different than the world’s. I waited for my wife. I gave my heart and body to her, by God’s grace. I would never want to shame someone who didn’t know any better, that’s not the point. God can absolutely restore what you gave away when you were blind. The point is that we can so easily plug ourselves into the wrong ideology. You can give yourself away in more ways than just physically.
3. It’s not as hard as cynical people want you to believe. Teenage Daniel had a lot of voices speaking in deafening roars about how hard it is to find love, about the sobering-yet-mythical 50/50 divorce rate. They experienced pain, but I did, too. Who do you bring your brokenness to? I’m so glad that I chose to bring mine to Jesus, so He could heal me. He brought Sarah to me and my anger had cooled; my heart softened.
4. It is hard. Zack Morris had misled me to believe that the right amount of gel, charisma, and sex appeal would get me through the hard stuff. Nope. Relationships require grit and determination. To do things the right way, God’s way, is an arduous, costly, but worthwhile process of growth and maturity.
5. ‘Happily ever after’ isn’t a passive event, it’s a lifelong process that you fight for. Fairy tales are a fun idea, but you don’t get “happily ever after” by osmosis. You get it by loving one another through flaws, challenges, and mistakes, and by celebrating the uniqueness that God has deposited into each one of you.
Relationships are funny little tools that the Lord uses to sharpen and define us, but they also bring so much beauty and depth to our lives when Jesus is the Center. Teenage Daniel, hold on tight: your bride is coming and she’s more than worth the wait!

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home

Trust God To Write Your Love Story

Chapter 3-Lady of Faith
 
To recap from my last post (friend-ectomy-assessing-who-stays-and-who-goes)  in The Lady in Waiting series, Ruth’s and Orpah’s husbands died.  So Naomi and her daughters-in-law were without their husbands (their lover and provider) in Moab (a foreign land for Naomi). Naomi urged her daughters-in-law to go back to their parents homes in hopes of remarrying a Moabite.  Naomi decided to go back to her homeland in order to survive. Orpah took Naomi’s advice but Ruth did not want to leave Naomi. Ruth chose to trust God. She ran the risk of not getting remarried since she was a Moabite in Bethlehem.
But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. (New International Version, Ruth 1:16)
“She looked not with sensual sight but with eyes of faith. She chose to trust with her heart for the future her eyes could not yet see”  Jones,D and Kendall, J (1995). Lady in Waiting. Shippensburg,PA: Destiny Image Publishers, Inc.
 
We often turn off our faith eyes and choose to look with sensual sight when waiting for our spouses. The bible says “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (New International Version, Hebrews 11:1).
 
You may be saying, “I’m getting too old or I don’t see any prospects in this church/city. I know when I was single, I thought I had to be in the most logical place to potentially be found. While in college, my church had a single’s group and believed that could be where I meet “the one”.
 
At this church, my pastor encouraged all the single women to let your future husband find you working for the Lord. He pretty much told us to stop thinking about it and focus on Jesus and he will find you. It took a while for my pastors’ advice to sink in, but it finally did. I needed to be like Ruth and not Orpah. Ruth wasn’t trying to be found when she was gleaning from the field of Boaz, and she didn’t do research about who the owner of the field was. She knew that her and Naomi needed to eat. She was found by Boaz while she was taking care of business.
 
God doesn’t need you to be somewhere or to do something to get “the one’s” attention. He will bring your mate to you. Rest in his faithfulness because He desires to give you the best. Have faith that God will give you the desires of your heart.
 
I started trusting God to write my love story. Little did I know, I had already met my husband five years earlier at a black student union meeting on campus.  I met him at a time that I was not even looking for him. Matter of fact, I was in an unhealthy relationship with someone else. After I listened to God and severed that unhealthy relationship and allowed Him to repair me internally, I was finally ready to be found. God could speak to my heart about me to prepare me for my husband.
 
I knew that Jesus loved me. I starting believing that I was valuable and worthy of the best. I knew that I did not want to settle any longer. I knew I wanted to be married for life, so I did not want “me” to get in the way. I wanted a God orchestrated love story. He gave me just that. I can honestly say that I have a fairytale love story. And the best is yet to come.
 
On behalf of Married and Young, I will be blessing someone with this book. In order to enter into the drawing you have to do two things: 

  1. Follow Married and Young on Facebook
  2. Commented on at least one of the 4 posts of the Lady in Waiting Series on Married and Young