Categories
Category: Home
Categories
Word of the Lord for September 2015
We believe God is a God who still speaks today. His voice is one of the greatest commodities we have on this Earth. Jesus Himself said that man should not live by bread alone, but every Word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.
Towards the end of August Natasha and I began to both sense an extreme shift of “FAITH” for the month of September. It was like we knew God was about to do something beyond our understanding.
The last Sunday in August our Pastor, Dr. Matthew Stevenson, spoke a message that hit us in the bottom of our stomach regarding the testing of God to let go of low level thinking and begin ascend the Hill of God.
I immediately text Natasha telling her that the month of September would be a month that WE WILL NEVER FORGET as we step out and obey Him. Trusting God for more we knew that this was the perfect time to put a seed in the ground.
So we sowed the largest seed we’ve ever sown. Within 1 hour of us sowing that seed someone contacted us desiring to give to us, then we had another 2 people by the end of the week.
We then begin to hear of other ministers and prophetic leaders prophesying regarding the month of September.
The Word has been this is the month God is desiring to “SHOW OFF” in your life. My Pastor said it like this, “He wants to give you the opportunity to BRAG ON HIM AGAIN”.
Can you remember the last time you BRAGGED ON GOD because He did something so amazingly powerful in your life?
We believe this is the month God is going to do SUDDEN things very quickly in order to prove to His children once again that He is in control and Lord of their lives.
This is the month for serious faith to believe Him for the things you may have laid down or become discouraged regarding. Whether this was a relationship, a job, financial breakthrough, or even a salvation for a family member.
There are two keys to press into what God has in store for September.
1. You must draw close to Him like never before.
Hebrews 11:6, “Without Faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.
Do not allow yourself to be distracted away from spending quality time with Him this month. Increase your discipline to wake up earlier in order to seek His face. This will help you be obedient when things get rough.
2. You must have a seed in the ground.
Genesis 8:22 states, “While the Earth remains seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.”
We are entering into a season of reaping what we have sown. But more importantly God wants to see how much you BELIEVE HIM. The bible states, where your treasure is, there your heart lies also.
Sowing a financial seed in this month will accelerate your faith to begin to EXPECT God to do something GREAT in your midst. There are many places you can put a seed in the ground at from your church, or any other ministry you feel the Lord leading you to sow into. The amount doesn’t matter, but I will challenge you to sow where you are trying to go. Put your money where your faith is.
We are SO EXCITED for all God has in store for you and your families. We are believing God with you for serious breakthrough in your life.
If you do have a story of breakthrough to share with us, you can comment below or email us at info@marriedandyoung.com
It is a known and accepted fact that 100% of married couples find themselves disagreeing about an issue at some point in their relationship. There is nothing wrong with conflict, because according to Dr. Gary Smalley, “conflict is a normal part of any relationship, the key is to learn how to resolve them without emotional injury.”
When my wife and I began to encounter our first round of conflict during the beginning of our marriage, I immediately learned that the true test of resolving without hurting our relationship wasn’t while we were in the “conflict ring,” but how we prepared outside of the “conflict ring.”
Before an argument or issue arose, we discussed, determined, and prepared how we would resolve the conflict with the end result being us learning more about one another, versus destroying one another. I call it, preparing while sober.
We came to an agreement of the things we didn’t want to see happen as a result of conflict. I learned my wife hates the silent treatment, and being made to look like the bad person. She learned that I don’t like destructive words, yelling, or attempting to push the issue under the rug.
Discussing these things while emotionally sober helped us to have an expectation and an agreed understanding of how to guard one another during conflict without hurting each other.
Now, how does that play out when the heat is on, emotions are high, and someone is upset in your marriage? You better believe it took many “practice” rounds for my wife and I until we learned that we must play by the rules.
Here are 3 ways to prepare for conflict so you’ll never have to sleep on the couch:
1. Find out what hurts each other the most during times of conflict.
We are all created differently, which means different things will affect us at different levels. By sitting down with your spouse and learning how conflict affects them and what hurts them the most, you will then know what not to do during moments of conflict.
2. Come to an agreement of what you will not do during times of conflict.
You need to create a “win-win” for your times of conflict by establishing agreements. It is these agreements that will help you fight fair. For my wife and I, we have an agreement that no matter what, we will never separate ourselves at night due to a disagreement. I also agreed to never raise my voice or hand at her no matter the situation. What are some agreements you and your spouse can establish to ensure you fight fair?
3. Don’t forget you’re on the same team.
When you enter into a time of conflict, you must not forget that you’re not fighting each other, but your fighting the issue that’s trying to come between you. You and your spouse are on the same team, even though you may feel at times that your spouse is against you. Do not allow pride to get into your heart causing you to view your spouse as your enemy. You’re on the same team! Fight the good fight!
Now, you may be reading this and you and your spouse are right in the middle of an unresolved conflict that’s now causing emotional strain in your marriage. I encourage you to seek outside help from a counselor or pastor. Don’t wait for one of you to give in, but agree that peace in your home must be more valuable than waiting to prove someone wrong. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.”
Categories
Are You Really Listening?
Just this past Saturday I played another game of tennis in which I lost. In fact I haven’t won a game all year, but I still love the game and continue to play. One of the wonderful things I like about playing tennis is how social the game is. In fact, after a match I spoke with one of my frequent opponents about marriage. I told him about how I’ve been helping people with their marriages and there seems to be a common theme. When there are issues within a marriage, it seems that a lot of times this is because no one is listening to each other. I often find myself saying to them, you are both right and you are both wrong.
I have found this to be true in my marriage. I find myself being very frustrated when I tell my wife that I like doors closed and lights off when one leaves the room, but she continues to leave doors open and lights on. I’m very certain that she gets frustrated with me when she finds my clothes laying on the floor next to the hamper instead of being in the hamper. I know these may seem like trivial requests, but since they are important to each of us and therefore they are important and should be treated as such.
Many of the people that I interact with are highly motivated professionals who seek advancement in their careers. They are committed to success and do whatever it takes to succeed in what they do. When their boss makes requests of them, they do whatever it takes to meet the goal of the task. They take the boss’ request very seriously and comply. Of course they do this because it is their job and if they would like to keep their jobs, so they will do what it takes to make sure they do. Individuals will read and attend training and seminars in order to ensure that they meet and exceed the expectations of their bosses. They know what to do to succeed at their job because they LISTEN to their boss.
What I find baffling is that we apply this focus and tenacity to our jobs, but will not apply the same focus and tenacity to our families. I believe that’s what probably frustrates many spouses. They see their mate working so hard to please their bosses, but when they get home they’re not as intentional when it comes to listening to their families needs and pleasing their families. I was at one time guilty of this. I am an academic advisor and I noticed that I was patient and extra-accommodating to my students, but I didn’t extend the same courtesy to my family. I then had a epiphany: I would have my family forever and this job is very temporary. My family needs my patience and listening ear, and I must accommodate them in every way possible. They are my family. They are my responsibility. They need my care and attention much more than my students do.
I am not suggesting that we should approach our families as jobs. Jobs are something that we must do. We should look at our families as our passions. We should look at them as something that we enjoy working at in order to have the most enjoyable family life possible. I often find myself checking in with my wife to make sure that she is enjoying our marriage. I make sure I am doing what’s necessary to please my wife. She does the same. I suggest you do the same. Ask your spouse a simple question, “How are we doing?”. Brace yourself you may or may not like what you hear. Listen to them and believe them. They are not “trippin,” that is their perspective and that is their truth. Since they are your spouse and you are one, it is your truth.
When many of us list our top priorities we say God, family, careers, etc. Make sure you are being honest. Make sure you treat your family as if they are more important than any job you will ever have. Listen to them and their needs and act on the truth that they share with you. Do that, and they will believe that you truly love them.
Be blessed and enjoy your day,
Joel Pearson.
I can remember my single years like it was yesterday and how I continuously asked God how He was going to reveal my spouse to me. Would a light come out of the sky? Would she glow like an angel? Would I hear trumpets play when our eyes caught each other?
There are no two stories that are the same, but there are two things we can learn from the marriage of Adam and Eve that help us to see both how and when God will reveal your spouse to you.
1. God Will Reveal Your Spouse in the Right Season.
We see with Adam and Eve that Adam was living his life in complete purpose before God decided it was time for him to have a helpmate that was suitable to help him for the next phase of fulfilling his destiny.
Adam was right where God wanted him and doing exactly what He called him to do, and that my friend is one of the biggest keys to God revealing to you your spouse.
You must be in the right season of your life before God will reveal your spouse. God’s ways are so much higher than our ways, and He knows exactly what He is doing.
What does it look like to be in the right season? A season that God’s peace will be able to be released into the relationship. What does a wrong season look like? Maybe you’re still getting over another relationship, or you may have a lot of unhealthy opposite sex friendships that are preventing you from recognizing the one because your attention is focused in other places.
This is all pivotal for being in the right season where your heart is fixed on God and his purpose for your life.
2. God Will Reveal Your Spouse In the Right Environment.
The next key thing we see with Adam and Eve is that Adam was in the right environment that was conducive for his development, growth, and fulfillment of purpose.
Now, how does that transfer into today’s World since we no longer have a Garden of Eden to live in.
Finding yourself in the right environment today means being around the right people and spending time in the right places. Why is this important? Because God requires in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that we be equally yoked with in our relationships. By putting ourselves in the right environments, its most likely we will meet someone who also is spending their time with the right people and in the right places.
These are two key in positioning yourself to be in a place where God can reveal your spouse. When you take the time to be faithful in the season that you’re in and also be sure to center yourself with the right people in the right places, then you are setting yourself up for a successful revealing of your spouse
People are falling in love every single day. It is clear that liking someone, falling in love, and becoming intimate is very easy to do today. The challenging part is to do it all in God’s timing and His way. Does doing it God’s way make it the perfect way? Absolutely not. No matter what or how you do a relationship it will always be a risk.
Whether you’re single, courting, or even engaged it is best to understand God’s process by which He desires to take a couple through the progression of a healthy relationship.
On Thursday, August 20th at 8:30 PM Natasha and I will be sharing our story of how God took us through 5 stages that led us from meeting on Facebook to marrying all in 9 months. It is our prayer that this webinar helps you to see how to do it God’s way protecting you from playing games with your or someone else’s heart.
Click here to register now before the spots fill up!
If there is one thing I know about is long distant relationships. My husband and I lived in different countries for 9 months!
If it was not for Jesus and our commitment to each other I do not think we would have made it. Here are some tips that we used to make sure that we made it through the difficult times.
1. Make a decision early about the status of your relationship
From the first week we started talking, we knew God put us together and that we weren’t just dating to date but dating to get married. This helped us know we couldn’t just quit becuase we were tired or we had had enough. Our decision to keep going was based on the decision that we were growing for marriage.
2. Use the distance as a tool to grow your communication
The good thing about long distance relationships is that you have to do a lot of talking. Talking allows you to strengthen your communication and develop a bond that is beyound the physical nature.
3. Schedule online dates
My husband and I scheduled dates over Skype. We would get dressed up and talk as if we were face to face. It is important to still create moments of intimacy even if you are not together face to face.
4. Use social media to invite them into your life
With tools like periscope, instagram, or Facebook you can now take videos and send them or take them along with you during events and things that are important to you. Tag them in pictures as if they were there and include them in your everyday life.
5. Play games
There are many online games that you two can play against each other or with each one another. Playing games helps bring joy into your relationships and helps make you feel closer becuase you are doing something that you normally could only do face to face.
6. Keep an online journal
Each of you can write in the journal when you are missing one another. Each of you can read it when you are unable to talk.
7. Schedule visits
Even though my husband and I lived in different countries, we scheduled visits to be together. Scheduling trips allows you to have something to look forward to. You can do a count down together and it gives you hope to keep going.
8. Pray, worship and read the word together
He who has begun a good work in you is faithful to complete it, if you feel God has brought you two together allow him to complete it. Praying together allows God to sustain your relationship. Make your walk with God a priority not only together but personally, God will give you courage and strength to see everything come into completion.
The fight for your family isn’t taking a furlough.
Welcome to the twenty-first century: the age of confusion and chaos in a free-for-all, dilapidated society. If ever Christians needed the peace of God in their hearts and homes, it’s now.
Joshua, the protege of Moses, took a stand for the Lord’s place in society. He boldly declared in Joshua 24:15:
“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Like Joshua, we’re living a land where options abound. In this land, we too will have to take a stand and predetermine in our hearts that our house will be a house that serves the Lord.
Growing up, my parents would lead us in simple devotionals, at least once a week as a family. This set me on a course for a divine encounter with the Living God.
Family devotional time doesn’t have to be devoid of life and boring. In fact, I’m convinced it should never be boring.
Here are five ideas for a dynamic family devotional time:
1. Play worship music and worship the Lord together. If your kids are small, pick them up and dance to the Lord together! They’ll associate worship with true joy! Our kids are accustomed to hearing us sing our hearts out to the Lord, enraptured in intimate worship. Once, after seeing a devastating news headline, my immediate response was to go the Lord in worship on my guitar. My family walked in and we had a divine, impromptu worship service in our living room!
2. Have a family-focused prayer night. Let every member take turns sitting in a chair in the middle. Let each family member say a prayer over that person. After praying, every member of the family can say how that person is a blessing or encouragement. Do this until everyone is prayed over and blessed. Also, pray together for family needs and watch and journal as God answers!
3. Take family mission trips. You don’t have to go around the world, but ask God, as a family, who the Lord wants your family to minister to and then load up the car and go! Maybe the Lord will give your family a word of knowledge about a single mom in Wal-Mart who can’t afford groceries. Maybe you go to Chic-Fil-A and buy lunch for the family in the car behind you. The point is, the family does it together and it takes family devos out of the house and into the world!
4. Ask everyone to share on a devotional rotation. Make a schedule and let everyone in the family share what the Lord is teaching them. End the time with prayer for each other and a blessing for each member of the family.
5. Have a global-focused prayer night. Turn off the TV and all the lights and light a few candles. Pray about current events. Let the kids mention their friends or even animals who need prayer. Pray over cities that are mentioned in the news. Pray for the President or the Queen of England, but pray together for things outside of yourselves!
Like Joshua, we should make Christ the Lord of our house and our families. Your commitment to devote a night a week to the Lord as a family will leave an indelible mark on your family forever.
M&Y Family! What other ideas do you have for a family devotional time?
Check out this 42 Day Devotional written by founder’s of Married and Young!
I’ve been dating this amazing man for two years, but have known him for a total of 8 years. As we recently approached our second year anniversary…can I be honest…disappointment greeted me.
Every time I log onto facebook someone else is getting married, someone else is having a baby or someone else is engaged. None of those someone’s were me.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, especially when you have a desire to be married and you believe you’ve found the one you wish to spend your life with.
BUT WHAT THE HECK IS TAKING SO LONG?
I know I’m not the only girl who has felt this way.
Out of anxiety and frustration I began to pray. The Lord reminded me when I surrendered my life to him, which includes marriage.
Psalm 139:16 reads “You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” In prayer I was reminded that every day of my life has been recorded in God’s book… EVEN MY WEDDING DAY!
I’m reminded that I can’t compare my love story to that of others because we are two totally different books. For some, marriage happens on page 30 and others 250.
The point is, I’m not in control of my love story…GOD is!
Although there’s a great desire to be married, there’s a burning desire to stay in God’s will! It’s in his will that I am perfectly safe!
After coming to this realization, I’ve made a conscious effort to remain on the page God has placed me on.
I believe there are great lessons, memories and fun to be had on this on this page of my love story. I wouldn’t dare insult God’s artistic ability by racing past the pages that don’t cater to my desires.
Be as encouraged as I was to live in the moment! Enjoy where God has positioned you in this moment!
I’m comforted by the fact that God has answered my prayers in the past and this time will be no different; like all the other answered prayers, God moves according to his timing. Don’t be anxious, it wont make God move any faster…it’ll only rob you of precious moments on this page.
Be encouraged,
Shannon C Colar
Lovebyencouragement.com