8 Ways to Choose Your Mate Everyday Even When You Don't Want To

In my last article, I wrote about how God has given us the will to choose our mate. Well, the choosing doesn’t stop at the altar; rather, we must continue to choose our mate every day. Not just with the goal of simply “staying married,” but in choices that will help the marriage thrive and grow. Below are 8 ways I believe we can actively choose our mate daily in order to continue to grow and mature in love.
 
 

1. Choose to forgive–

We have all heard it before; marriage is just two people who are really good at forgiving. Forgiveness is a choice, and one that is vital to having a healthy marriage. On a weekly basis husbands and wives have misunderstandings, and from time to time they even hurt each other’s feelings. This is normal. However, it should be just as normal to forgive our spouse, even when we are tempted to hold on to the pain. Talking out issues, forgiving one another, and not bringing it up the issue in future arguments is the best thing you can do for your marriage.  Remember, according to 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love keeps no record of wrong.”
 
 

2. Choose to believe the best –

The word says that love always hopes; hope is the greatest gift you can give your marriage. Not just in hard times, but at all times, choose to always believe the best for your marriage. Choose to hope; choose to believe the best in your spouse. Do not choose to believe the worst about them and jump to conclusions. God always has good thoughts towards us and about us, even when we have given Him ample reason to believe otherwise.
 
 

3. Choose to suffer long-

There will be seasons in your marriage that require long suffering; they maybe seasons of sickness or hardships, or even long months of misunderstanding. The ability to choose to suffer long says “no matter the pain and no matter the difficulty, I am in this for the long haul. I will not quit on you; I CHOOSE to fight through this.” After all choosing is a thought out choice, not an emotion.
 
 

4. Choose to be kind–

Choose to extend grace weekly. Choose to season your words with grace. Choose to be slow to anger and slow to speak. Honor your spouse by treating them as a child of God. Kindness goes a long way in marriage. Choose to be kind, even when you are mistreated.
 
 

5. Choose to laugh–

Laughter is the glue of any marriage. Choose to enjoy your spouse, to be playful, and to enjoy life together. Loosen up!  Remember scripture says “laughter is medicine for the soul!”
 
 

6. Choose intimacy–

Choose to enjoy your spouse’s body.  Choose to have sex and be close, even if you are tired.  Choose to push through the busyness of life and make time for loving your mate. Sex is a choice. When you choose to push your excuses away, you’ll find that you are glad you did. Choose your spouse tonight.
 
 

7. Choose Jesus as your leader–

When two people really love God and are fully commitment to Jesus, it makes it a lot easier to love other people. God is love, so apart from Him, when cannot know or give true love. When our hearts are devoted to Jesus, we are able to be devoted to one another. Choose to grow in God daily, which will make it easier to choose your spouse.
 
 

8. Choose marriage–

Your Marriage is a choice.  If it blossoms, it’s because you and your spouse made it a priority. Choose to invest time in marital materials and attend conferences to enrich your marriage. Choose date nights, choose to talk things through instead of holding them in, and choose your marriage covenant over the opinions of family members and even outside voices. If this thing works, it’s because of the choices you two make. If it fails, it’s also because of the choices that were made. Choose today to make great choices for your marriage; you won’t regret it!
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