Category: Physical Intimacy

Intentionally Creating Intimacy In Your Marriage

Post author By admin
Post date January 16, 2015
2 Comments on Intentionally Creating Intimacy In Your Marriage

Talking about sex is either one of those things that makes you excited or feel a little awkward. It depends on the person, but mostly because sex is the most intimate part of a marriage.
Knowing that sex is the most intimate part of marriage, what do you do when sex is not an option? For a period of time that is. Whether it be because Aunt Flow is visiting your wife for the week, health complications during a pregnancy or maybe your spouse is deployed in the military.
Nothing can replace those kind of intimate moments you have with your spouse. Whatever the situation may be, there may come a time when you need to intentionally create intimacy in your marriage outside of the bedroom.

Here are a few ways to intentionally create intimacy:

If you do not already know your spouse’s love language take time to do this. When looking for ways to create intimacy you don’t want to feel like your efforts are wasted by doing things that do not speak to your loved one in the way you had intended. You can simply ask your spouse what their love language is too if you aren’t sure.
Communicate! There are so many different ways to communicate your affection for your spouse. Use your words to allow your relationship to grow closer. You can talk about anything. Talk about what you miss during those intimate times you have in your bedroom (or wherever), but also talk about those other moments that make you feel super close to each other. Once you communicate other ways you feel close to your spouse you will be able to implement them more.
It’s action time! Once you communicate other ways you can feel intimate with your spouse make sure you intentionally do them. If you are struggling to find other ways to be intimate with your spouse aside from sex a few examples might include cuddling, massages or showering together. Also doing the things you enjoy as a couple. Maybe that means intentionally making time to cook together, write love letters, or planning weekly date nights.
Get creative. You really can’t replace what sex does for your marriage. If you find yourself in a situation where it is taken off the table for a time being then do not stress. Get creative and have fun coming up with different ways to keep the romance in your marriage. Try playing a game of strip poker or cuddling by candle light.
Seek God together. Your love life will be nothing if not centered around God. Praying together and bringing God into your marriage has such a powerful way of making you feel close to your spouse. God is the creator of intimacy so who better to seek counsel from? Allow Him to make your marriage stronger in every season of your life.

Lets do this!

Intimacy is something we all crave, and sex is one of the best ways to secure that in a marriage. Whether your sex life is great or needs some work, you really can apply everything I said to your marriage. Being married and young you have such a long journey ahead of you and you never know what is around the corner. I don’t think anyone enters a marriage thinking there may come a time when sex is not an option. However, you should know realistically there is a good chance this will happen. Don’t be so one dimensional that you do not know how to connect with your spouse unless it involves sex. You may also find that as you take time to create romance beyond your bedroom your sex life may become more balanced and fulfilling. All in all, it is about being intentional and having fun together!

Live.Love.Learn.

Tags intimacy, marriage, sex

Dating/Courting Home Physical Intimacy

Sin Issue or Purpose Issue?

Post author By admin
Post date January 11, 2015
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Sin Problem or Purpose Problem?
In a world where purity can almost be unheard of amongst many people, you have to ask yourself: why is purity so hard to obtain and maintain? Whether you are a new believer, mature believer, nonbeliever, or anything in between, the reality is that maintaining purity in relationships can be very challenging.
Unfortunately, purity is often times absent not only in the lives of unbelievers, but also in believers themselves. What causes people to get into relationships and forfeit their purity with people who they are not married to? Though there are several things that can attribute to this issue, I feel like a major one is not so much dealing with sin itself, but dealing with purposeless relationships and purposeless lifestyles.
The enemy loves to convince people that just because they slipped up and compromised their purity, that they are plagued with an unbreakable sin issue. The thing is, we are all plagued with this same issue with sin. So why is it that some can beat it and others cannot? Just because we were born into sin does not mean that we must be slaves to it according Romans 6.
If you find yourself in a relationship in which you are compromising your purity, I would challenge you with this question: Do you have a sin issue or a purpose issue?
I believe that when people fall into sin it’s usually due to a lack of understanding or a lack of being in purpose. When you are in a purposeful relationship and you know that the relationship has a reason to stand for purity, it makes it a lot easier to fight temptation, because you understand the purpose behind it. Think about Jesus, He knew the pain that He was about to experience on His way to the cross, yet endured every aspect of it because He understood the purpose of His actions. What are the purposes of the relationships you are in? Are there people waiting on the other side of your experiences for you to help and walk them through similar situations?
If you understand your purpose in being in a relationship, it makes it easier for you to fight the temptations that come. I can endure anything if I fully understand the purpose behind it. So the next time you find yourself in a relationship or even spending time with someone of the opposite sex, you should ask yourself, is there a purpose behind this? If there is a Godly purpose behind it, the fight for purity becomes a little easier. We are no longer just hanging out with idle time or even dead end situations. We can now have meaningful and purposeful conversations that lead to growth and honor of God. Just because you have fallen into sin before, does not necessarily mean you have some deep rooted sin issue. It could just mean that you have a purpose issue and lack an understanding of your own purpose and the purpose for the relationship you are in. Find the purpose and fight and endure everything else with an understanding of the purpose at the end.

Marriage Physical Intimacy

5 Ways to Pamper Your Wife

Post author By admin
Post date August 27, 2014
5 Comments on 5 Ways to Pamper Your Wife

Husbands, Gentlemen, lend me your ear and hear what I have to say in the way of caking. First and foremost, if you do not know what caking is, let me help you out. Caking is the art of showering your woman with love in such a way that it makes her feel oh so special.
It should make her feel as if she is the most special woman on the face of the earth. For she is. She is yours and you are to love her like she is the most precious gift that God has given you. For she is.
Without further ado I present to you 5 ways to pamper your wife!
1. Be Her Butler for the Day
– This involves you dressing up in a tuxedo or your best suit and serving her for an entire day. Whether it be her butler and chauffeur at work or doing so as she progresses through her daily routine at home.
2. 24 Hours of Her.
– For 24 hours all you do is what she wants. No questions asked. No compromises. She knows what she wants to do. Just ask her.
3. Her Favorite Movies Day
Watch every movie she has ever loved with her and enjoy them. Lose yourself in them. If they are tear jerkers, don’t hold back. Let flow, let it flow, let it flow.
4. Home Day Spa.
Give her a lavish day spa experience in the privacy of your home. Play soft relaxing music. Draw her a relaxing bath with special oils and scented candles. Message her. Give her a manicure and pedicure. Give her a facial.
5. 24 hours of Romance
Make the entire day about romance. Start with breakfast in bed. Take her shopping for the afternoon and follow that up with a picnic in the park. Resight a poem or two. Take her for a night on the town. This could include a play or movie.
A horse drawn carriage through downtown would be nice. Follow this with a candle lit dinner and conclude the evening with dancing.
These are just a few ideas that I have come up with. You know your wife so you can replace these with your own. If you don’t know her, get to know her, that’s just as fun as performing any of these cakes.

Marriage Physical Intimacy

6 Ways Pornography is Destroying Real Intimacy in Marriage

Post author By admin
Post date July 17, 2014
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Scripture specifically addresses sexual sins such as:

Thou shalt not commit adultery…(Ex. 20:14)
Thou shalt not lie with a man as with a woman… (Lev. 18:22)
Flee fornication….he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body…(1 Cor. 16:18)
And you shall not lie with any animal and so make yourself unclean with it (Lev. 28:23)

These scriptures are express in telling what to do as it relates to sexual sins; and although pornography is not explicitly mentioned, it is an issue nonetheless. In fact, Forbes estimates that the Pornography is a $750 million – $1 billion dollar/year industry. Numbers like that are astonishing and really speak to the popularity of porn.
As citizens of the Kingdom of God, we are fully aware that partaking in pornography is expressly outside of the will of God. This is no secret. However, main stream media, sex therapists, and regular folks do not always have the same opinions as we do (what a shocker, right?). Many argue that porn is a safer alternative to sex: While one cannot get pregnant or a disease from porn, its’ noticeable, poisonous effects still exist, though very subtle.
It even has placed its’ hold in today’s marriages; creeping into healthy marriages and killing the cells of love, intimacy, and communication. Below are some subtle ways that Porn can kill a marriage:
1. Porn chases a fantasy, it doesn’t create a memory.
Sex was meant for enjoyment that is patented and trademarked in heaven by God for Mr.&Mrs. Watching porn provides a standard by which the viewer tries to judge. It gives credence to the thought of “If he/she doesn’t do this, it’s not good”. Instead of trying to create memories of ecstasy that are within the confines of marriage that God smiles upon, the watcher of porn often tries to recreate a scene or actions that does not give God glory. Think about it, do you really want your marriage bed to become a scene from a porn movie?
2. Porn is an intimacy killer.
Actors in a porn scene are seeking selfish sexual pleasure (amongst a host of other things). Both parties are attempting to “get theirs” by any means necessary. This is the antithesis to intimacy. Intimacy is about time, experiences, trial and error, communication, and building. When a person engages in pornographic activity, they build up a resistance to intimacy because that person is simply seeking self-fulfillment.
3. Porn is a gateway to dishonest and insincere love-making.
Because the porn watcher is chasing a fantasy and is not being intimate, the act of love making becomes unreal. Becoming desensitized to the emotional and sexual needs of your spouse totally takes the love out of love making and turns it into just trying to “get some”. That is a disservice to the covenant of marriage and the right of love making.
4. Porn can stifle the growth of the marital sexual experience.
Often times, people that watch porn think the images that they see are what should be done in bed. The expectations of what you think should happen vs. what your spouse is comfortable with may not align because you were watching a production not born out of love and maturing together. This is a recipe for disaster and disappointment.
5. Porn can kill the excitement of lovemaking.
If you have seen what you may think are all the possibilities, variations, and nuances of lovemaking, then what is there to look forward to? There are few things better than being excited about making love to your spouse. If this sentiment is diminished, then so is the sexual experience.
6. Porn may be linked to reduced activity to certain areas of the brain.
According to Time magazine, a German study found that the region that responds to sexual stimuli is less active in those that watch a lot of porn. The study also shows the part of the brain associated with processing rewards is smaller in persons who view pornography more often.

Sexual health and Intimacy are directly related to the health of a marriage. Porn can and will poison both.

Marriage Physical Intimacy

Sex in Marriage: 3 Things to Remember from a Wife's Perspective

Post author By admin
Post date July 14, 2014
6 Comments on Sex in Marriage: 3 Things to Remember from a Wife's Perspective

From the desk of the Modern Day Cindi:
One of the most misunderstood concepts between a husband and wife is SEX! And not just sex, but our sexual APPETITE, and what propels each of us to SATISFACTION. A husband and wife boast many benefits, especially the excitement and intimacy of having sex with YOUR spouse.
By design, God created sex for husbands and; wives equally, but in many cases it seems that men are easier to please sexually and are far more satisfied with sex than their female counterparts.
Many wives have taken pleasure in the privilege of bearing children, but not necessarily pleasure in the love making to create them. Of course, this is not the sweeping consensus for all women, but it is unfortunately true for many.
Now fellas, it is not that women do not enjoy the touch, embrace, and the idea of physical intimacy; but, the cares of household responsibilities, professional demands, and assuming the role of wife, mother, supporter, and friend becomes an unexplainable, inexplicable drain that rolls over into many areas.
As the body of Christ, we have to endorse love making for the ring wearer and covenant holders and support the development of growth in this position as well.
From the wife’s perspective, even sex with her spouse can become just another role that she must fulfill which makes the act more of an obligatory duty than a pleasurably, fulfilling experience.
For example, because women rarely compartmentalize issues, it has been jokingly said that women will claim headaches, sickness, and busyness all in disinterest and avoidance of sex.
Regrettably, it is not unbelievable or inconceivable to imagine that this may be true. Therefore, it is even more necessary to understand the importance of setting the proper atmosphere for love making.
Here are 3 things to remember:
1. To be stimulated mentally and satisfied physically, it is essential that a woman’s mind is aroused, intrigued, and focused on nothing else at that moment. Consequently, the foreplay really must start early and the love making, like many things, has to occur first in her mind. Women are not light switches.
Sometimes a thought alone does not get women to a place of stimulation …and sometimes it takes more than candle lights, soft music and a bubble bath. We need more to be turned on! Kind words; a helping hand; being protective, but not overbearing; and listening and acting on our needs, etc. can go a long way.

2. Understand the complexity and appreciate the vulnerability that comes from such an intimate act. From the time we were quite young, we were taught to avoid looking at movies with sex in it, listening to music that was overly sexual, or wearing clothes that were considered too sexy.
Although culturally inundated by sex, it was always considered taboo. Even houses of worship could be complicit in rebuking women in church for showing affection toward their spouse publicly all the while endorsing reproduction but not good love making… As a result, reluctantly many wives find it difficult to cross over into complete vulnerability with their husband sexually.

3. Love making between spouses should always feel new because it is a constant discovery with endless possibilities. The desire to meet your spouse’s needs must be deliberate and intentional. So take your time and enjoy the journey! Don’t compare or degrade your spouse, and stay away from acts that could open doors of inferiority and insecurity.

Remember: There are two people present in love making, so the memory of the experience can last a lot longer than the actual act. Make it fun and exciting and never forget the blessing of marriage!

Dating/Courting Home Physical Intimacy

God's Heart Towards One Night Stands

Post author By admin
Post date July 4, 2014
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It was at the age of 12 that I first heard the term, “One night stand.” And, my immediate reaction was, “Ewww, why would anyone do that?” And, even now I am still responding the same. My wife and I, on one chill Sunday evening, decided to rent the movie, “About Last Night”, starring Kevin Hart. I am a Kevin Hart fan so despite hearing how overly sexual it was; I wanted to see it for myself.
Well, they were wrong. It actually surpasses overly sexual. The entire movie was centered on a one-night stand. I asked my wife, “Why do people work backwards from having sex as complete strangers to then wanting to see if the relationship has potential for the future”?
She then responded to me saying, “Because they don’t have the revelation of their value as a created being of God.”
I was listening to the song, “Stay With Me” by Sam Smith, and in it he sings, “Guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one-night stand, But I still need love ‘cause I’m just a man.”
The first time I heard this song in the car, tears began to form in my eyes. I immediately heard God say to me, “I didn’t create my children for one night stands, I created them for covenant.”
It breaks the heart of God to see His children settle for the artificial love and temporary satisfaction that comes from having sex with a stranger or someone outside of marriage. Its not just a physical act, but its also an emotional act.
Our culture today sees one night stands as adventurous, or enjoying life while you can, but it goes much deeper than that. You were created for so much more.
We, as the creation of God, were made for covenant relationships. We were made for relationships that last a lifetime. We were made to be valued, honored, and respected. The person who is committed to earn your mind and body by waiting for you until marriage is the one that deserves it.
This lifestyle is very dangerous, and most likely will end in regret. But, there is freedom in Christ. Turn to God for help for He desires to reveal how much He loves and values you for who you are.

Co-Founder of Married and Young, Jamal Miller, new upcoming book, 25 Ways to Prepare for Marriage, will be released in July. Join the community to receive updates, pre-order special offers, and much more. Click here to join.

Dating/Courting Home Physical Intimacy

Sex Before Marriage: 6 Reasons Why and How to Prevent It

Post author By admin
Post date June 25, 2014
13 Comments on Sex Before Marriage: 6 Reasons Why and How to Prevent It

To recap from my last post (click here) in The Lady in Waiting series, Ruth had been found by Boaz (Naomi’s relative) and was given much favor from him. Naomi knowing the Jewish custom instructed Ruth to lay at Boaz’ feet as a sign of subjection to him as her next of kin.
It was not an act of seduction but an act of obedience to a foreign custom to preserve her deceased husband’s name and memory. She could have acted inappropriately with Boaz but she innocently laid at his feet. Boaz being the honorable man that he was, sent her on her way with his word that he will be her redeemer (obligation to redeem a relative in serious difficulty). Ruth being the virtuous woman was praised and complimented by Boaz. He respected her and was eager to be her husband.

11 And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character. 12 Although it is true that I am a guardian-redeemer of our family, there is another who is more closely related than I. 13 Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to do his duty as your guardian-redeemer, good; let him redeem you. But if he is not willing, as surely as the Lord lives I will do it. Lie here until morning.”

(New International Version, Ruth 3:11-13)

The customs of this biblical time may seem hard to understand but the temptations that they faced are not anything foreign. Ruth’s husband died and she was a single woman living with her mother-in-law. I am sure she longed to have a warm body next to her every night. I am sure Boaz was attracted to this beautiful young woman. There had to be some restraint taken at that moment that he realized she was laying at his feet. They waited until they were married to show their love to each other.

According to this article, 95% of respondents in their study have had sex before marriage by the age of 44. They concluded that almost all Americans have had sex before marriage. This is not surprising to me. Abstaining from sexual intercourse is not the norm in our culture.

Being sexual and sensual is praised these days. We are bombarded with images, songs, hot topics, and news about celebrities and their sexy lifestyles. If you want to be one of the 5% you will have to know your redeemer Jesus. I’m talking a true relationship! If you happen to be in the 95%, it is not too late for you. The Lord can and will redeem you.

My husband and I were of the 95% but had decided to wait until we were married to have sex again. We did not want to give room to the enemy in our relationship. Thank the Lord we were engaged for only 9 months because it was difficult, especially since we were not virgins. I am so glad we waited because sex blessed by God is amazing and does not compare to anything I experienced in the world.

If you are still a virgin, please, please, I beg you to wait until you are married. It will be hard but it is not impossible. The consequences of premarital sex are emotionally, physically, and spiritually damaging. Believe me, even though redemption is always waiting, I could have done without the purging process of those sexual encounters. Here are six ways to help you stay pure.

Be on guard

Turn off those songs, stop watching that tv show/movie, don’t take a second look, and stop that conversation and text. You know will know to “shut it down” when you feel conviction or uncomfortable. Do not ignore those feelings because these actions will plant seeds of impure thoughts in your mind and heart

2. GET UP AND GO HOME!!

Don’t linger over his/her house too long. You know when you are feeling “some kind of way” so this is the time when you should leave.

3. Call on a friend

Have someone you can talk to and confide in when you need encouragement or needing support.

4. Get involved

Occupy your down time by doing activities that you love. Have fun while you are single! Go on that trip, enroll in that class, go to that festival and enjoy life.

5. Develop your relationship with God

Be honest with God and cultivate your unique relationship. Pray, Study, Cry, Scream, Sing, and Laugh during your intimate time with the Lord. Just let go! He is our first love. This blessed me during my purging stage. I was open with Him and to Him.

6. Tell yourself “It’s not worth it!”

One night of counterfeit passion is not worth causing distance between you and Jesus, ruining your relationship with him/her and sinning against your body. He created this beautiful act of love for marriage and He wants you to experience it His way.

On behalf of Married and Young, I will be blessing someone with this book. In order to enter into the drawing you have to do two things:

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Tags relationship-killer

Engaged Marriage Physical Intimacy

A Caution Against Adultery: The Big No No

Post author By admin
Post date June 17, 2014
2 Comments on A Caution Against Adultery: The Big No No

From the desk of The Modern Day Cindi: There are few things worse that could happen in a marriage than the ones I classify on my list of “No-No’s”.
And for this article, it is imperative to address both married and single persons on one of the BIGGEST NO-NO’s: INFIDELITY aka ADULTERY! Oh yes, adultery!
Now, it would seem that with such a great number of people who desire marriage it would be taboo to engage in or even entertain adulterous behavior— but it happens. Furthermore, most agree, if not understand, that cheating is wrong and unacceptable, PERIOD!
Cheating on tests gets you kicked out of class, cheating on your taxes gets you fined and possibly jailed, so of course cheating in your marriage would be equally weighty and for good reason.
Infidelity pokes a hole in a fortress designed by God to promote his kingdom on earth. And although governmental systems look at marriage as an economic and social institution, God looks at it as a covenant bond between two people that is sacred to which favor and destiny are connected.
So, is it our desire to mock the covenant of marriage when so many have hoped for it, believing that in it was a promise that only God could fulfill? Or is it that we have not taken time to evaluate the subtle triggers that push so many toward infidelity; specifically, how adultery penetrates marriages through social interaction, learned behaviors, family dynamics, mistrust, etc.?
Now for the sake of clarity, I do understand that for one reason or another people decide that the journey of marriage for the two together should end. However, it is important to expose the ploys many encounter regarding adultery despite their best intentions.
Bottom line: There is no biblical basis given to support adultery. Some of the falsities that society has succumbed to as a pass to cheat include: Separation (legally or otherwise e.g. living apart); Agreement to see other people; Disconnected emotionally; Disinterested physically; or, an Un-finalized divorce.
In Proverbs 5:15-23, the word admonishes us to use wisdom and not fall victim to adulterous ways. Here are 3 key reminders to consider if faced with an issue of infidelity.
1.     The principle of sharing is applicable to objects, not people.
Therefore, the thought that you as a single or married person would find comfort with someone’s spouse is objectionable. The best advice we had in our adolescence that applies to us even today is “Keep Your Hands to Yourself!” The minute that you find out that the person you are seeing is still married, is the minute that you should exit!!!
2.     Secretly or openly, cheating on your spouse (while living together or separately), and/or an agreement to see others while still married was not a part of the original design for covenant and by default, mocks the union of marriage.
3.     Cheating is not just the form of physical intimacy- it goes to the depths of even emotion.
So yes, let’s count that emotional infidelity is just as bad as physical infidelity. Any interaction, by design, that separates man from his wife or vice versa, is not of God and does not represent His love
Remember the heart can be deceitful above all things and emotions useless if not guided by the Lord. So, if you have found yourself in such a situation, get out now, repent, seek spiritual counsel, move forward and don’t look back! Be blessed!
Scripture references

Ex. 20:14
Proverbs 5:15-23
1 Corinthians 7:2
Leviticus 20:10
Romans 8:1
Hebrews 13:4

Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage Physical Intimacy

4 Lies About Sex That Every Couple Must Not Believe

Post author By admin
Post date June 16, 2014
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unable to sleep in bed because of snoring partner

Let’s be honest, one of the many reasons most people (especially those that have been abstinent) look forward to marriage is because they get to have sex “legally” as we say.
You no longer have to feel guilty about having certain feelings about your spouse, crossing boundaries you have set, and dealing with the waiting.
God created sex in marriage for a number of reasons including enjoyment, unity, procreation, and many health and emotional benefits. It is known to reduce stress, and couples who have sex often live longer.
But what if your expectations about sex become more of a burden than a blessing? Deal with these myths as soon as you can so you can enjoy the spouse God has for you.
Myth 1: Sex in Marriage is boring
Research states that when couples have good communication and are connected in interest and purpose, they enjoy a very deep and satisfying sex life. The longer you stay married the deeper the connection becomes.
There is safety in sex within the marriage bed which allows people to be more open and willing to be free with their spouse. Remember to honor each other’s bodies, and make sure not to introduce anything that would bring disrespect or dishonor to the other person, or pull you away from God.
Other than that enjoy each other! I believe God is happy when something he created for his children to enjoy in marriage is much appreciated. Love each other well.
Myth 2: You will have sex all the time:
When talking to many singles they often talk about how they can’t wait for marriage to have sex all the time. The good news is that there are seasons you do have sex all the time.
Most couples report the first several months of marriage as heated and busy, but as they get into the routine of life it slows down. It doesn’t slow down to the point where you are not having sex, so do not worry. Most couples report having sex three to four times a week, and research states that is what most couples should shoot for.
If it’s more, then wonderful! Keep it up! If it is less look at your schedules and overall relationship and see how you can bump it up a bit.
Myth 3: Sex after children is non-existent:
Now we all know that this myth is not true because people often have children soon after their first child. However, the woman’s body does change; while some experience an increase in libido others feel a decrease.

Couples just need to work on understanding each other’s needs physically which can be impacted from exhaustion and hormonal changes in both spouses.
Also, they must become more creative about where and when they have sex; they may need to utilize the baby’s naps and other areas in the house if the baby sleeps in their room. As mentioned before, if the over-all marriage is good, sex does not stop but is adjusted.
Myth 4: You need to know what to do right away:
The point of marriage is to become one with your spouse., Every day is about the process of becoming one and so is sex. When you spend time in intimacy with your spouse, you are unveiling a new piece about them.
Take time out to ask them about themselves—learn each other. Couples that have been married more than ten years report that they are still learning about their spouse. Remember you are an individual and so is your spouse, so as you mature and get older so will your desires.
You have plenty of time to learn your mate, you do not need to know everything on the wedding night.
Older married folks have said “sex is like wine, it gets better with time.” Make time for each other. Every season adjust, relearn each other, and allow God to get the glory out of your love for one another and your marriage.
Great sex doesn’t start in the bedroom, it starts outside of the bedroom with making it a priority.
We have the perfect opportunity for you to make your sex life a priority. We are having a FLASH SALE this weekend only on one of our TOP tools to help you have the best sex life now!

Tags god, love, marriage, sex, sex in marriage

Marriage Physical Intimacy

4 Ways to Get Your Marriage From Roommates to Romance

Post author By admin
Post date June 13, 2014
3 Comments on 4 Ways to Get Your Marriage From Roommates to Romance

After being married for nearly 4 years you realize that there are many seasons you go through as a married couple. Times of busyness, times of stress, times of joy, times of sorrow and so much more. However, there comes a time when the mundane things of life begin to take over.

You go about your business and your spouse goes about theirs. Whether it’s work, school, ministry or kids, sometimes life takes over and your priorities get all mixed up. The flame that once sparked romantic nights and long walks, has dimmed to a mere flicker, if anything at all.

You now see that person you said “to love and to hold” as just someone who helps pay rent or keep the house clean. Sure you would never say that, but maybe you’ve just learned how to be really good roommates.

My husband and I found ourselves in that place a little while back. We managed our household really well. We didn’t fight, but we didn’t talk either. We distracted ourselves with very important things. And not before long, we had just became really good roommates.
We came to a point when we realized we didn’t just want to survive, we wanted our marriage to thrive. So here is what we did to reignite the flame of love and romance.
Here are 4 ways to get your marriage from roommates to romance!

1. Communicate about the things that matter:

Sometimes our “How was your day?” and “It was good,” become our only form of communication in passing. We decided that everyday we would ask each other one meaningful question and we had to spend at least 15 minutes of undistracted time answering it. That meant, no kids, no cell phone, no tv, just undivided attention. The question doesn’t always have to be deep, but more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. Here’s a few to help you get started:

– “What can I do to make you feel appreciated?”

– “How did you see God in me today (or week)?”

– “What’s your ideal date night?”

2. Resolve to give 100%:

Too many times when we get in these ruts it’s hard to just jump back into it fully. You’ve built defenses or coping mechanisms to avoid deep intimacy or disappointment. But in order for you to get your marriage to thrive, both spouses must resolve to give 100%.

This means if there is any hurt from the lack of love, you can’t use that as an excuse to not work on your marriage. Both of you must agree to start with a clean slate and begin to rebuild your marriage. If 100% of your focus isn’t on your marriage, guaranteed its on something else. Find what your distractions are and move the priority back to your marriage.

3. Date night is a priority:

It’s easy to let this one slip, especially if you have children. Sometimes getting the kids a sitter and getting out the door just seems like too much work. But it’s so important to be connecting and spending quality time with your spouse on a regular basis. Even if it’s once every two weeks. Make this time as romantic as possible (*wink*wink* husbands, women want to be wooed). DO NOT skip out on this! If you don’t have the finances come up with creative inexpensive dates, it’s totally possible.

4.Have sex regularly:

Yep I said it! Connecting physically deepens your level of intimacy and connections in all levels. If you haven’t had time to connect physically that will put a strain on your marriage. This means if you live busy lives you might have to schedule it. And stick to that schedule whether you feel like it or not. The more you make it a priority the more you begin to look forward to that special time with your spouse.

I didn’t add pray together just because I am assuming you are already doing that, but if you’re not that needs to be added to the list too. These steps are obviously not all you can do, but they are a good start to getting your marriage from roommates to romance. Because marriage is suppose to be fun and exciting! Let’s show the world how it’s done!

Tags christian, love, marriage, romance, roommates, sex, thrive