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Intentional Goals For A Successful Marriage

Being married now for four years I have noticed a common theme between the different seasons my husband and I go through. No matter what our current life looks like at any given time it can easily be evaluated by the goals, or lack of goals we have.
When my husband and I are not working towards a common goal, or personal goals, life quickly seems more difficult. And, when we are intentionally setting goals for our marriage and our lives, it doesn’t seem to matter what we are facing because we are doing it together.
We haven’t always learned this the easy way though. When you are married and young you are bringing together two young individuals who typically have a burning passion to succeed in their own life. When you marry someone with similar goals as you it can still be hard at first to understand that unless your goals involve one another it will be difficult to become “one”.
Don’t get me wrong, you can certainly have your own personal goals and different careers. What I am saying is that no matter what you are pursuing as an individual you need to keep your spouse at the forefront of that goal.
For example, if you are striving to build your career to support your family- great! But, it is critical to remember that all that hard work and success will mean nothing if you push your marriage and family to the side while you climb to the top.
You CAN, however work hard to accomplish your individual goals and find even greater success when you allow your spouse to come alongside of you and contend for the same end goal.
My husband is an extremely driven man. And, I am highly motivated by defined goals. So, together we have learned that no matter how small or big our goals are, in every season of our lives we need to have some kind of common goal. Whether that be to relax more or work harder, if we don’t know what we are striving to accomplish in the current moment we slowly start to drown in the chaos of life.
I want to encourage you today to sit down with your spouse and talk about the goals you have individually and together. I believe it is every couples goal to thrive, but you need to have specific goals in each season of your marriage in order to make that happen.
It doesn’t matter how big or small your goal is.
It doesn’t matter if your goal is for your career, personal relationships, or your marriage.
All that matters is that you and your spouse come together in unity and work towards the same thing – together!
Be blessed today knowing God has given you someone to help your conquer your destiny! And, know that you play a vital role in the success of your partner as well! Now, go set some goals!

4 Ways to Get Your Marriage From Roommates to Romance

After being married for nearly 4 years you realize that there are many seasons you go through as a married couple. Times of busyness, times of stress, times of joy, times of sorrow and so much more. However, there comes a time when the mundane things of life begin to take over.

You go about your business and your spouse goes about theirs. Whether it’s work, school, ministry or kids, sometimes life takes over and your priorities get all mixed up. The flame that once sparked romantic nights and long walks, has dimmed to a mere flicker, if anything at all.

You now see that person you said “to love and to hold” as just someone who helps pay rent or keep the house clean. Sure you would never say that, but maybe you’ve just learned how to be really good roommates.

My husband and I found ourselves in that place a little while back. We managed our household really well. We didn’t fight, but we didn’t talk either. We distracted ourselves with very important things. And not before long, we had just became really good roommates.
We came to a point when we realized we didn’t just want to survive, we wanted our marriage to thrive. So here is what we did to reignite the flame of love and romance.
Here are 4 ways to get your marriage from roommates to romance!

1. Communicate about the things that matter:

Sometimes our “How was your day?” and “It was good,” become our only form of communication in passing. We decided that everyday we would ask each other one meaningful question and we had to spend at least 15 minutes of undistracted time answering it. That meant, no kids, no cell phone, no tv, just undivided attention. The question doesn’t always have to be deep, but more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. Here’s a few to help you get started:

– “What can I do to make you feel appreciated?”

– “How did you see God in me today (or week)?”

– “What’s your ideal date night?”

2. Resolve to give 100%:

Too many times when we get in these ruts it’s hard to just jump back into it fully. You’ve built defenses or coping mechanisms to avoid deep intimacy or disappointment. But in order for you to get your marriage to thrive, both spouses must resolve to give 100%.

This means if there is any hurt from the lack of love, you can’t use that as an excuse to not work on your marriage. Both of you must agree to start with a clean slate and begin to rebuild your marriage. If 100% of your focus isn’t on your marriage, guaranteed its on something else. Find what your distractions are and move the priority back to your marriage.

3. Date night is a priority:

It’s easy to let this one slip, especially if you have children. Sometimes getting the kids a sitter and getting out the door just seems like too much work. But it’s so important to be connecting and spending quality time with your spouse on a regular basis. Even if it’s once every two weeks. Make this time as romantic as possible (*wink*wink* husbands, women want to be wooed). DO NOT skip out on this! If you don’t have the finances come up with creative inexpensive dates, it’s totally possible.

4.Have sex regularly:

Yep I said it! Connecting physically deepens your level of intimacy and connections in all levels. If you haven’t had time to connect physically that will put a strain on your marriage. This means if you live busy lives you might have to schedule it. And stick to that schedule whether you feel like it or not. The more you make it a priority the more you begin to look forward to that special time with your spouse.

I didn’t add pray together just because I am assuming you are already doing that, but if you’re not that needs to be added to the list too. These steps are obviously not all you can do, but they are a good start to getting your marriage from roommates to romance. Because marriage is suppose to be fun and exciting! Let’s show the world how it’s done!