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6 Tips for Single Mothers to Maximize a Small Income

As a single mother, money can be a challenge when you have another life or lives to account for and you take on the bulk of the responsibility financially. Recently, I’ve been being challenged by God to not panic but to take a step back and really look at what I have to see how I can get the most out of it.  My job doesn’t pay the best but I’ve found that it is doable and it is teaching me a few things about my perspective(s) on money. Here’s what I’ve been learning so far:

1. More doesn’t necessarily mean better off. Yes, increase is great but more money can possibly create more problems if you have not mastered financial discipline. It is best to assess and be honest with where you are and what you can handle financially. Sometimes it’s not about having more to work with; the beauty in learning to maximize the small can be of great value to your future.

2. Work with what you DO have. With wisdom you can really make any amount of money fit your needs, trust me I am a witness. I’ve found that the key is prioritizing what is most important, eliminating or doing without things you want but don’t necessarily need right now, and using wisdom with how you spend what is left over.

3. Steward well over what you have. In Matthew 25:21, we see that Jesus gives the parable of the talents: The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together! Please know that God sees our irresponsibility and undisciplined practices with money, He cannot trust us with more if we do not steward or manage the little that we have properly.  I’d like to believe that God delights in increasing us but not if we will use it to cause more damage to ourselves financially.

4. Tap into resources that can help generate income.  And I don’t mean a get rich quick scheme. What is in your hands to create that can be a stream of extra income and potential wealth? Do you have a niche, a talent or hobby that can produce income? Or, can you learn to create something that can stream income into your home? Think of the Proverbs 31 woman who built her home, went out into the marketplace and generated income for her household (YouTube and the internet are full of DIY projects and crafts to learn). Find your niche and work it!

5. Spend your money with your FUTURE in mind. That will eliminate poor financial choices when you think of it this way. Everything we do or don’t do today inadvertently effects our future, especially when dependents are involved. Don’t cause for those depending on you financially to suffer at the expense of your poor spending habits. Again, assess and be honest with where you are. Do not try to live above your means to keep up with the Jones’, know your limits and stick to them.

6. Don’t despise small beginnings. It won’t be this way always. Instead of seeing this season as a struggle, see it as a small beginning. As you grow in wisdom financially, your finances will in turn grow. It is all about diligence, hard work, prioritizing and discipline.
Contirbuting Guest Writer Bio:
Shevante Walker is a woman of God, mother, daughter, sister and friend aspiring  to touch many lives with her testimony. Currently seeking her Bachelors  of science in Psychology, she has hopes of one day becoming a counselor  to aid in the healing of people’s minds, lives and spiritual well-being. It is her desire to allow the healed parts of her to heal the  brokenness in others. She is a liberator who longs to see people break  loose from the condemnation of their past and living in the freedom of  their future! 

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Engaged Finances Home Marriage

How to get a Designer Bedroom for Less

This clean, mid century modern bedroom was designed by the amazing, world renown, Interior Designer, Kelly Wearstler.
This room probably costs in the range of  $10,000 – $20,000 to create. I have pulled some resources together to give this look for a price that is substantially less than $10,000. Interior Design does not have to stretch your wallet and affordable design does not have to look cheap.
I have attached the links to each item that I believe gives a similar look to what Kelly used in this bedroom.

Items you will need to recreate this look:

1. Area Rug
2. Gourd Lamps
3. Side Tables
4. Bedding
5. Mirror
6. Self Adhesive Accent Wallpaper
8. Ikat Pillow

9. Headboard

10. Bench

Do you have a room that you would like me to recreate for less? Send me an email at skiptomyrue@gmail.com. Your submission could be featured as another blog post.

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Dating/Courting Home

The Three Things I Learned While Courting

The moment I saw her, the heavens opened to illuminate her, angels sang and I heard God say, “She is your wife”. Within a week I had informed her and the entire campus that she was my wife, but it took five years for this to transpire. While God showed me the result of His plan, I wasn’t ready. God needed to prepare me for my wife. There were three things I had to do to be prepared as Melissa’s husband.
1. Learn to Put God First

The moment God showed me that Melissa was my wife, I was full steam ahead. My focus was doing everything in my power to make God’s promise happened. In doing so I ignored a very important scripture, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and it’s righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. In order for me to see God’s plan come to pass I was supposed to seek God and not the object of my affection.
After three and a half years of chasing Melissa, I stopped. I began to focus solely on my relationship with God. Instead of chasing Melissa, I began to chase God. A funny thing began to happened, Melissa started to slowly creep towards me.
2. Know What God Wants for Me
I actually did this before I knew Melissa was my wife, but it couldn’t come before “put God first” on my list. God showed me that you only receive what you require. Therefore I wrote requirements for my spouse. I did not write the list on my own. I consulted God as to what should be on my list.
I knew I wanted a wife who is in love with Jesus, gorgeous, college educated and a fantastic mother. God agreed with those requirements, but of course helped me fill in other details. I hadn’t thought about asking for a wife who would be able to run the affairs of the home should I be gone for a month. God helped me see details, that I would have otherwise overlooked.
3. Become What I Required
Since it was so important that my wife be in love with Jesus, gorgeous, educated and a fantastic mother, God made sure that I was her equal. Everyone wants God to send them a spouse who is just right for them. Are you you? Are you the you, you think you should be, or the you God thinks you should be? God is going to send you one of His prized possessions. Be the best you that He intends. I had to become the me He saw me as.
So I began to chase Him. As I began to chase Him, He began to develop me into the husband that was fit for the wife He had for me. I grew closer to Him and grew in my ministry. As I did so! Melissa began to take notice. One thing my wife will tell you is that the reason why she hesitated to like me at first was because I had no idea how to dress. She said she began to notice me, when I began to learn how. God did that, not me.
Your courting experience may not be identical to mine, but I bet the three elements previously mentioned will be involved. So be sure to put God first, know what God wants for you and become what you require.
Question: I mention putting God first, why do you think that this is so important?

Continue reading “The Three Things I Learned While Courting”
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4 Things to Do to Prepare for Your Future Marriage

A few weeks ago I planned to start eating healthier, however the night before I was to start day one of my journey to healthy eating I was too lazy to go to the store to get the items I needed for the next day. When I woke up I was starving, but I had no fruit or anything healthy to eat.
I ended up eating foods that were unhealthy because I was NOT prepared! Although marriage has more aspects and levels than making the decision to eat healthier, the concept of preparation is quite similar. If you desire to be married some day, it is imperative that you prepare before a door is opened for a new relationship that has the potential for marriage.
The night before I was scheduled to begin day one of a healthier me, I had every intention in the world to commit wholeheartedly to start eating better. Although I made up in mind to start the next day, I did not invest the time to get up, go to the store and do the necessary grocery shopping in order to be prepared for what I “intended” to do. Entering into a covenant marriage is the same. Having a desire for marriage alone is not enough to succeed at it.
Having intentions to be the best husband/wife you can possibly be is not a guarantee that you will, especially if you skip the preparation stage. It is important for unmarried men and women who desire marriage to invest into preparing for marriage now.
If there is no preparation, you will most likely enter into your marriage blindly and experience avoidable issues and problems that could have been addressed prior to meeting your mate.
If you don’t invest in the preparation stage, in addition to normal marital obstacles, you will add more unnecessary stress and weight to your future marriage which will eventually complicate things in the end and attribute to an unhappy or failed marriage.
So what are some things that you can do to prepare for your future marriage?
1). Learn how to embrace and enjoy your season of being unmarried.
Instead of complaining to God every other day about why everyone around you is married, focus on the blessings that come along with not having the responsibility of marriage in this season of your life. Use your time to do the things that can help build your future such as going back to school, getting rid of any debt you may have and build meaningful friendships.
2). Self-Evaluation!
Evaluate where you really are in your life. Are you healthy and stable enough (mentally and financially) to invite someone in your life right now? How do you handle stress? How is your attitude towards others? Are you controlling? Do you have the ability to be faithful?  Do you have lasting and healthy friendships? Have you reconciled with family or friends who offended you in the past? Are you prideful? Are you selfish? How is your character? Many of these questions will help you to determine if you are ready to be joined to another person in covenant marriage.
3). Get Healed, Delivered and Restored!
Allow God to heal you from the wounds and soul ties from past relationships. Whether it is intimate relationships, relationships with your parents, siblings or past friendships that failed. Healing, deliverance and restoration is necessary in order to move forward and to produce new fruitful relationships.
The worst thing you can do is make your future spouse pay for what your ex, sister, brother, friend, mother, father, etc… did to you in the past! Surrender your past baggage to God so that when the right time and person comes along, you will be free to move forward in covenant with your future mate without any major hindrances.
4). Learn to trust God
(Proverbs 3:5). Often times unmarried men and women who desire marriage lose their hope, faith and trust in God concerning whether or not he will send them a husband/wife and they begin to doubt their future. If God promised you marriage and a family, he will do just that…in His timing! Build your trust and faith by studying his word and investing time communicating with God daily in order to stay tuned in with what he is doing in your life. Remember God’s promises over you are yes and amen!
We live in a society where preparation is despised or viewed as being unnecessary, however if you intend to be the best husband/wife to your future mate the best gift you can give them is being prepared to love, cherish, honor, respect and to value them without the weight and stress of your past issues vying for your attention.

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Dating/Courting Home

Pawn Shops and Louboutins (For All My Single Ladies)

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage

The Difference between Liking and Loving Your Spouse

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Dating/Courting Engaged Home Marriage

From Rubbish to Rubies: Reclaiming Your Self Worth

I remember about 4 years ago, I was so broken. I was at my lowest point. The things I placed my hope in failed me. I had no self worth. I didn’t value myself. I accepted anything and everything from someone who didn’t deserve a hello from me.
I knew I should be treated well and that abuse is not acceptable, but in my mind I didn’t believe I deserved better or could get better. My heart ached as my mind played tricks on me. I had been belittled and ridiculed so much that I began to believe the things people who didn’t matter would say about me.
I began to believe I was worthless, even if my mom said I was priceless. I began to believe that in order to keep that man, I had to open my legs, even though my parents taught me better. The enemy had a hold on me. I remember my life flashing before my eyes.
I remember an ex telling me that he’s not afraid to die and pulling the emergency break while going at least 80 mph. I remember that truck narrowly missing my car after it spun around. I remember fearing for my life. I remember wondering why that truck didn’t hit us and why I didn’t get hurt or why I didn’t die.
Now I realize that even in my sin, God was fighting for me. He remembered the plans He has for me, plans for good and not for evil. He didn’t want me to stay on the path I was going. He wanted me back in His arms.
He never wanted me to leave but I walked away. I was fighting God off of me as He was fighting for me. He never gave up. God fought relentlessly for me. I believe he fights relentlessly for you too.
He doesn’t want His sons and daughters to live a hopeless life on a path of destruction that will ultimately send us to hell. He wants us to be His. He wants us to be whole. He wants us to choose Him. He wants us to choose Jesus, not the World.
God says we are worthy no matter what mistakes we’ve made. God says we’re worth far more than rubies. He doesn’t remind us of the filthy rubbish we once laid in, that we once identified ourselves with. He turns our rubbish into rubies and uses our past mistakes, failures, disappointments, heartbreaks, insecurities, and pain to bring Him glory.
We all have a past. We all have made mistakes, but your rubbish doesn’t define you. God’s word does. And He says you are fearfully & wonderfully made. You are more precious than rubbish. Let Him turn your rubbish into rubies for His name sake.
If you are single, know that God loves and cares for you. He has a perfect plan for your life. You are worth the wait. Your singleness isn’t a punishment from God. It is a gift from Him. He longs for you. Allow Him to make you whole.
If you are married and feel low, know that God hasn’t abandoned you. Look to Him to heal your wounds. Your spouse is great but he/she isn’t God. Allow God to fill your voids. I am praying for you!
 

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3 Things I Learned Watching "Holy Ghost"

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Dating/Courting Home

The Benefit of Breaking Up

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that you knew you should not have been in? All the signs in the relationship point to a dead end, but for some reason you just can’t work up the courage to get out of the relationship. It is extremely vital that you get out! Run for your life and your future!
Breaking up is probably one of the hardest things in life to do. Often times, breaking up can be extremely difficult; you may genuinely care or love the individual that you are not supposed to be with.
Whenever this is the case, the break up will be prolonged until the very last straw. We can be so concerned about hurting the other persons feelings that we actually ignore our own emotional damage and feelings.
It is not just love that keeps us from breaking up. If we are being honest, sometimes it is the fear of being alone that will keep us bound. If I do break up with this person, will I ever find somebody? The more you entertain this type of thought, the higher your chances are of being bound in a relationship.
You will find yourself waiting until the other person finally leaves you. When God told the Israelites to leave Egypt, I am sure that they were a little fearful of being alone. However, if they never left Egypt they would have  never embraced the promise land.
Your break up is just as important as your future spouse. Think about it, most people get stuck thinking does God really have somebody for me? Will I ever be happy? Will I ever get married?
Well, allow me to encourage you; if you don’t break up with the person you know you’re not supposed to be with, how will you ever find or be with the person you are supposed to be with?
Keep looking at the story of the Israelites in Egypt, bound to slavery. God raised up Moses as a deliverer. Moses told Pharaoh to let my people go. He was literally telling pharaoh they are breaking up with you. If they never broke up with Egypt they could have never entered the promise land. The break up always comes before the promise.
In order to gain the courage to actually break up with a person you must pay attention to the promise! Don’t allow yourself to be stuck in bondage any longer! Focus on Gods promise for your life. The more you focus on His promise and the future he has in store for you, the easier it is to let go of your past and embrace your future.
You can also gain the courage to break up by placing more value on yourself than you do the other person. Far too often we put more emphasis on the other person and their feelings. We devalue ourselves and Gods plan and purpose for our lives!
Begin to care more about yourself than you do your boyfriend or girlfriend! Sounds kind of harsh and selfish right? Well it is. You must understand you are NOT married yet. Stop treating your boyfriend or girlfriend like a husband or a wife. Especially if they are probably not the one you will marry anyways.
Learn how to break up before you end up marrying somebody you are not supposed to marry. I am convinced that if me or my ex wife understood the importance of the break up, we may not have ever taken each other to the altar.
Breaking up while in a marriage is always much more costly!
Take it from me! If you know you are not supposed to be with that person, do both of yourselves a favor and break up; so that you can embrace the future God has for you!

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3 Ways to Keep a Godly Atmosphere in Your Home

The bible states in 2 Corinthians 3:17, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”  The presence of God in your home has the ability to calm fears, eradicate unnecessary attitudes, and also keep everyone focused on the important things in life.
Sustaining a Godly atmosphere in your home can positively affect your marriage in more ways than one.
Here are 3 ways to have a Godly atmosphere at home.
 1. Pray Every Morning
 Always be joyful, never stop praying. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
Prayer has to be your steering wheel, and not your spare tire.  It is very easy to fall into the trap of using prayer only when things are going bad versus making it a daily part of your day.  Each morning my wife and I before we awake say a short 30 second prayer over one another to set the tone for the rest of our day.
It was a challenge to do it at first, but now has become an expected moment we have each morning.  Prayer is not an option, it is an requirement that will cause you and your spouse to focus on one another’s deeper issues and be able to give them to God.
2. Wash the dirty laundry.
To make her holy and clean, washed by the Cleansing of God’s word. Ephesians 5:26
I’m not sure how you run things in your home, but dirty laundry can only sit for so long before it begins to smell through the whole house.  This is the same with built up frustrations, issues, or disagreements that have not been dealt with. 
This truly disrupts the atmosphere of a home because just like laundry can smell overtime, suppressed issues can as well.  This can promote secrecy, lies, and many other actions to come forth when there hasn’t been a fresh moment of opportunity to wash those things through.
This should be done at best once a week and at minimum every two weeks.  An intentional time to talk and voice a no judgment, no offense, full of unconditional love honest conversation.
3. Study the Bible together
For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Hebrews 4:12 
A couple that learns together, takes the World together.  Studying the word of God not only helps you in your own personal relationship with God, but it also gives you and your spouse an opportunity to connect in a new way.
This has been a challenge for my wife and I because I work in full time ministry, so due to my vocation, I’m in the Word each week during my own time.
But, I have seen the effects of us not reading the bible together.  We are not as focused on what’s most important in our life, and ultimately causing us to get into petty arguments that do matter for eternity.
Studying the Word together will transform your marriage because it invites in the Sword of the Spirit to divide up all unnecessary thoughts that can cause division between you and your spouse.