Seasons are a big part of my home state’s identity. Minnesota has four distinct seasons, each with its own set of unique characteristics and qualities.
Right now, it’s Summer. Summer in Minnesota is HOT. Just because we’re always portrayed as lumberjacks toughing out the bitter cold doesn’t mean it’s always below zero. Today was a particularly humid, hot summer day and I found myself longing for fall.
I stopped myself in the middle of my thought, realizing how silly this was.
If it was already Fall, that would mean I’d be going back to school already (I’m a teacher). I would have missed out on lake days, camping, flexibility in my schedule, traveling, and bonfires. Now sure, Fall has a lot to look forward to, but Fall is not Summer. They are separately wonderful, and each also carry their own difficulties as well.
I couldn’t help but compare this to our life stories. We are constantly going through different seasons, and each season has its own joys and hardships. I’ve found that the key is not to make it through a certain season in order to get to a ‘better’ one, but to change your focal point so that you can find contentment in each season throughout your life.
Here are some steps that I’ve taken to enjoy my current season of life.
1. Recognize the season you’re in.
Maybe you’re in a season of being newly married. Maybe you’re in a season of being single. Maybe you’re in a season of starting a family. It sounds simple, but this is an extremely important step. Without acknowledging it, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing your life to others’. Comparing your life to another’s can cause tension and destruction in the destinies of each person involved. Recognize your season, then believe that your season is just as important as another’s.
2. Discover the purpose of your season.
Big or small, this is what will allow you to thrive during this time. Ask the Lord to reveal what your purpose is and trust that He will give you an answer at some point. If you feel confused, be patient and faithful. I’ve found that sometimes I don’t fully understand a purpose in a season until it’s over, but it’s a big relief when I can look back and feel confident that I remained faithful and at peace throughout the process.
3. Make a list of activities you can only do in this season.
I can’t, or maybe the right word is shouldn’t, go swimming in a Minnesota lake in December. I can’t go downhill skiing in August. I won’t see leaves turn color in February. You get the point. There will be really great opportunities in every season, and not all of them will be available every season of your life. Take advantage of them before it’s too late.
4. Find people to connect with who are in similar seasons.
I’m not saying you need to spend all of your time with these type of people. But having someone, or several people who are in a similar season will provide an outlet when you need to talk through issues that may arise. This is not to say others won’t be able to offer any insight, but there is something really comforting about a person who can identify with specific emotions and experiences.
5. Find people who were in your season but aren’t anymore.
They will be able to provide wisdom and counsel into what you are experiencing. This type of relationship could also end up being valuable encouragement and restore hope within you!
6. Don’t give up.
A new season is bound to come along! Galatians 6:9 – “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” If you feel overwhelmed by what’s currently happening in your season, just keep doing your best each day! His mercies are new every morning. Worrying about what will happen in the future only uses up the mercy that you received for the day.
There might not be a way to ensure that trials and difficulties aren’t a part of our lives, but there are ways to navigate through them. Being intentional about how we treat each season will allow us to find value in our experiences – whether they seem positive or negative at the time.
With that, cheers to our unique seasons and discovering our purposes in them!
Author: admin
Culture, as defined by the dictionary, is the beliefs, customs, behaviors, traditions and arts of a particular society, group, place, or time. My intention in this article is to discuss some things to be aware of when you date or marry someone from a different society, race or group. A person’s culture begins in their immediate family, and is then enforced by society and shaped by their environment. Even if you and your significant other are from the same society, you will experience differences.
However, when you come from different ethnic backgrounds there are several things that you may want to keep in mind:
1. Your idea of love and expectations in marriage will be different based on the culture- take time to learn your spouse’s expectations and experiences about love, marriage and family so you guys can be on the same page. Expressions and expectations will vary depending on the culture.
2. Culture impacts how and when you communicate- Take the time to learn certain phrases, meanings and how communication in marriage and family flows in your spouse’s culture. One culture maybe quite, but that does not mean they are timid. Another can be loud, but it does not mean they are angry. Learn how your future spouse views communication. Some may talk through things while others may not. It is important to learn this so that you guys do not spend time fighting over things you can easily work out.
3. Learn the traditions and celebrations that are important- Different cultures put more emphasis on certain things than others; meet in the middle and choose which ones you will celebrate. I think one thing I learned from my marriage is being someone who strongly relates to the American culture, although I’m an African, I tend to celebrate everything with gifts. Where as my husband’s culture, mainly African, tends to primarily celebrate weddings, births, and deaths. My husband had to learn how to adjust to the many wonderful celebrations we Americans have.
4. Discuss the role of extended family involvement in the marriage- Certain cultures view extended family as the nuclear family; they expect couples to move in parents or send money back home at certain times in their marriage. Discuss this with your spouse and set a clear plan on how you will deal with extended family.
5. Roles in marriage may vary depending on the culture each person is from- Each society has differing ideas about marriage and about the role of each spouse. Take time to get to know your future spouse’s understanding of marriage and their expectation of you as their spouse.
6. Remember certain traditional roles may not be biblical– With the push of family it can be hard to put down your feet about certain things you and your spouse will continue in your marriage. While some things may be cultural, they may not align with your biblical values. Make sure that as a married couple you guys create a culture based on your beliefs, and not just your traditions.
7. You have to create a culture of heaven in your marriage- While our cultures, traditions and experiences make up our human experience, it is really important that our goal in our marriage, whether from the same culture or different cultures, is to emulate heaven in our marriage. When we understand the culture of heaven, it will be easier to learn how to create that same culutre in our homes.
Russell Wilson, who is a top NFL Quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks is in a dating relationship with R&B Singer and Dancer, Ciara.
God spoke to Russell one night at one of her shows and asked her, “I need you to lead her”. He says he knew that God brought them together to bless others. He then asks her what if they took all the extra stuff off the table and does their relationship God’s way!
Here is a clip of him talking more about this commitment for them to abstain from sex.
Skip to 23:53!
https://youtu.be/TmVgryMK8i8?t=1433
Skip to 23:53!
This is an awesome testimony of how it is possible to abstain from sexual relations before marriage. It is not easy, but it is worth it. I love how he did ask everyone to pray for them. That is real talk!
As parents, we are charged with the safety, education, love, and support of our children. We are their instructors, coaches, and cheerleaders. However, with all of our experiences and education, we can still learn from our children. Let me share a real story that occurred between one of my closet friends and his eldest son.
My friend’s son was in 2nd grade and is the oldest of 4 children. He and his siblings all go to the same school, so you can imagine what mornings are like getting them all ready! Hectic can sometimes be an understatement. Well, this particular morning my friend was getting the children ready and moving quickly, and was reminded by his eldest son that he hadn’t given him any lunch money. So my friend told him, “Son, I’m coming back. Tell your teacher that I’m coming back.”
Now, we all know that our children hang on to every word we say, and my friend’s son did just that. The day went on and lunchtime rolled around and my friend’s son didn’t have any lunch. His teacher asked him where his lunch or lunch money was. The young boy responded telling him, “My daddy said he’s coming.” Time passed and the end of lunch time was drawing near.
The teacher tells my friend’s son that he’s going to call his father because he may have forgotten. The young man replies and tells him not to call because “My daddy said he’s coming.” The teacher insisted on calling my friend, but his son spoke with the authority of his father and said, “My daddy said he’s coming.” This went on for a few more minutes because the teacher wanted to make sure that my friend’s son could eat.
Shortly after the last exchange between my friend’s son and his teacher, my friend’s father walks in the door with his son’s food. My friend’s son was sitting quietly at the table and when he saw his dad, he commented to his teacher “See, I told you he was coming!”
This true story taught me many things, but there were 3 especially noteworthy things that children can teach their parents about faith:
1. My friend’s son believed, without question, what his father said regardless of what it seemed like at the moment. The fact that all the other kids were enjoying their lunch and having a great time while my friend’s son couldn’t eat had no bearing on the belief, faith, and trust in his father’s promises. What would happen if we believed God’s word…his promises that are “Yes and Amen” as my friend’s son did. How impactful would our lives, our families, and our careers be to God’s kingdom if we exercised this kind of blind, unquestioning faith.
2. My friend’s son sat still in the face of opposition. When hearing this story, another thing that stood out to me was how my friend’s son was sitting when his father arrived. His posture was of an expectant nature! He was not worried. He was not afraid. The thought of not having food did not enter his mind. Even if it did, my friend’s son did not flinch in the face of seeming adversity and opposition. Remember, scripture tells us that when we wait upon the Lord (expectantly) our strength, will, and needs will be renewed. We will be elevated high about like the eagle ready to reign and rule freely.
3. My friend’s son spoke with the authority of his father! When in the classroom, the teacher has the authority. The principal and other administrators also have the authority over the children. However, when my friend’s son said what his father said, the teacher’s authority was trumped. The teacher did not make the phone call because the instructor was told what my friend said to his son. He spoke with authority and conviction!
He spoke without fear, and those who thought they had authority had to yield. They had to acquiesce to the authority of the young man’s father. My friend’s son spoke his father’s words with so much zest and certainty that even the others that had no knowledge of the prior conversation believed. That power and conviction was in the heart of my friend’s son, and just as the Bible says in Luke 6:45, what’s in the heart will come out.
Yes, my 37 year old friend is the teacher and an example for his 7 year old son. But, on that day the son became the teacher. He taught me something as well, and how thankful and grateful I am for the lessons!
From the desk of The Modern Day Cindi: Let’s talk about ways to maintain great intimacy while pregnant, but first let’s start off by debunking the myth that sex during pregnancy is taboo. It isn’t!
As hormones are all the rage, a rump in the sack between spouses may become more frequent as typical concerns such as birth control and pregnancy are no longer major factors with a baby on the way. Yet, many men and women do not look at this as time of just physical intimacy as much as it is a time for emotional closeness and support.
Sex is one of the major draws for marriage and relationship, however during pregnancy, sex may become a delicate situation to manage as physical comfort and emotional needs shift day to day, week to week, or trimester to trimester.
So how do we balance it all without making the sex factor an ex factor? Good News! There are other ways to maintain intimacy without having sex that can add great value to the quality of the relationship, as well as the confidence of your pregnant spouse.
Now nearing the 8th month of pregnancy, I have learned that intimacy can be achieved successfully without intercourse. Pardon the cliché, but intimacy starts in the mind. It is majority mental with physical moments.
Mental stimulation is where the attraction starts and continues. This mental stimulation is what turns into the physical connection that husbands so desire. This stimulation is also what helps builds up the anticipation to those physical moments and ushers in a wife’s willingness to share her mind, body, and soul. So what am I saying? Lovemaking starts in the heart and mind of your spouse and this is even truer during pregnancy.
Here are a few things that make my point plainly:
1. Pregnant Mommy’s want to continue to feel attractive to their husbands so compliment her often. Let her know how beautiful she is! Dote on her not just because she’s your baby momma but because she’s your wife.
2. Remind her that she’s giving you a gift that is a special representation of your love for each other that can’t be duplicated by anyone else. This can be very reassuring as her concern for different aspects of life (personally and professionally) may have her feeling uncomfortable and may even bring a little uncertainty.
3. Share with her in the changes she is going through. Read and study ahead to be aware of her needs and help her adjust (as much as possible) at every stage of her pregnancy.
4. Get uncomfortable with her!
Let her know that she is not alone.I can speak on this from personal experience. The only place I sleep well is on the coach. Sadly, our bed has become a cardinal enemy since early on in my pregnancy, but I found a friend and confidant in the couch. Unfortunately as the sofa became my friend, my long, 6’4 husband relegated himself to the love seat in an act of solidarity and unity and to be as close to me as possible.
Now, I know that does not seem like much, but he has been willing to get uncomfortable for me to show support. And when I gaze over at him on my late night moments, it makes me cuddle up to him even more when he is awake because I know he’s doing it just for me.
It may sound really basic and silly, but again all intimacy does not have to be physical. As a wife, we hold on to these moments of care and compassion. It not only boosts and edifies us, but it also allows the bond of love between you, your husband, and the unborn child grow even more.
M&Y! What are some ways you and your spouse have kept the intimacy alive in your marriage during pregnancy?
Natasha and I are always looking for ways to do eat in date nights. Why? Because, it saves so much money. Lol!
No, but seriously we have those weeks that we both just want to stay home to cuddle on the couch with a good movie. Date nights are so essential for the health of your marriage because it gives you time to wind down together and focus on each other.
This requires intentionality or it will not happen.
Being married and young with no kids, which expires August 4th, provides us with the luxury of making any night date night. Since this is going to change very soon we are trying to live it up while we can.
The problem we always run into when deciding to do a date night at home is what in the World are we going to eat and who is going to cook?
We were given the opportunity to try the California Pizza Kitchen’s Hand-Tossed Style Crust Oven-Ready Pizza BBQ Recipe with Chicken and Bacon. Let me tell you right now, it was oh so good!
The beautiful thing was it was only $6.00!
I decided to cut up some from fresh fruit to go along with it, and my mercy it complimented the pizza so well.
. 
I definitely encourage you and your spouse to check out this meal idea for a night you decide to stay in.
Disclosure Statement:
This is a sponsored post brought to you by California Pizza Kitchen. We have partnered with them to spread the word about their hand tossed style oven ready pizza.
Guest Writer: Lauren Anderson
This is the first time I am opening up about my rape two years ago. After it happened, I quickly moved on and “didn’t let it bother me.” But, recently life kind of slap me in the face and I ran into the guy who drugged me and raped me two years ago.
I wasn’t aware of the effects it had on me until I had to re-face the situation. I was traumatized all over again. PTSD does not just happen in war, and it was something I truly had to take the time to walk though.
As I write this post, I know most of you don’t know me, but some of you may. I want my story to be heard because of the beauty that has come out of it. I have felt alone because of this experience and I never really knew how to process it all, or truly heal from it. Today I read this poem to my Counselor, who had me write this to the guy who raped me. For the first time, I felt the healing from the power of what God’s LOVE has truly done through the situation.
No matter what you’ve been through, faith is all you need to get through it….faith that God is GOOD. Truly living by faith and not by sight. We have a choice to live in despair as a victim, or with faith as a conqueror. I chose faith and most of the time it wasn’t easy. But…no matter what you’re facing…..I pray you keep faith. I will never try to understand God, because I know I can’t. My “why’s” may never be answered, but I probably wouldn’t understand them now anyways. So, here it is…….my raw emotions displayed for you to see. A part of who I am.
__________________________________________
You Robbed Me……
When a robber breaks into your house, they invade your space, they go where they don’t belong.
A place you considered to be safe and comforting, the place you called Home.
They go in with the intention of taking something of value, something that is not theirs.
You Robbed Me.
You took the comfort and safety out of the very home that I live and breathe in.
You invaded my space and who I am.
You changed me.
Because of you I am different, I see differently, and I feel differently.
I did not invite you in to change me and to take value, but you took without thinking.
You took without considering the true value of what you were taking.
…..a part of ME
A part of me that someone else will want “to have and to hold,”
A part of me that requires trust and time…..You just took it.
I may not remember it and I don’t have memories to haunt me, but I feel the void.
In the very core of who I am I know what you took, and THAT haunts me.
It haunts me in a way that I feel at fault, that I should have done something more to stop you.
That I was the one who was wrong.
That I should have seen you coming.
But no…you came in the darkness of the night…my unconsciousness.
Waking up and knowing something was different, knowing what you did and my body was unable to stop it.
You took away my control of the sole thing I thought I may have real control over in this world….myself.
You took beauty and replaced it with filth.
You took light and replaced it with darkness.
You took confidence and left insecurities.
You took romance and left doubt.
You took faith and trust and left me with question.
You left me with a scar that I have to know is within me the rest of my life. A scar that is not visible, but felt. Felt in the very inner part of me.
You will never know, or even give it another thought.
You took and yet got nothing.
You took a part of me….A part of me you never even knew.
BUT
Here’s the Beauty in the Midst of Darkness.
You also GAVE me something.
You took what no man can replace yes, but you gave me reason to search.
You gave me a situation to overcome.
You gave me darkness so I could truly search for light.
You gave me questions so I could truly search for who I really am.
You gave me something I could never overcome alone….and though you made me feel alone…I now know I am not….and never was.
You gave me a rock bottom so I could know who was the rock at my bottom.
WHY?…………because I have a God who turns ashes into Beauty.
About the Guest Contributing Writer: My name is Lauren Anderson and I am currently working towards my Masters Degree in Counseling at Dallas Baptist University. I am passionate about helping people and this has only grown by walking through my own traumatic experiences of being raped two years ago. It’s nothing you see coming as is true with every traumatic event and is nothing you can be prepared for. It’s been a long journey but God has shown me more about him and myself than I could ever ask for. You are never alone.
Categories
Father's Day Parade Poem
Father’s Day Parade
Thank you my brother for taking care of your fam
Even if no one says it, I’m proud of you, I am
Get up to go to work, even though you hate it
Taking mess from your boss, feeling low and degraded
Be proud of what you do, just know you’re the man
Giving all you’ve got, doing all you can
To keep the lights on, stomachs tight and full
That’s what makes you a king, over your kingdom rule
Love your wife so that your son will act right
Make sure to take your daughter out for a special night
Set the example, for that’s all they’ll understand
You’re the Bishop of your home, it’s part of God’s plan
Your family’s taken care of, they’ve got it made in the shade
You’re doing your job well, and that’s your father’s day parade
Be blessed and enjoy your day.
Joel Pearson
Recently I have been dwelling on the scripture Ephesians 5: 28 “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.” Though it is straight forward, I have found it to be packed with meaning. I have watched the men around me falter in their relationships because of lack of self control, or what we consider to be selfishness.
The fact that a person would stray from their spouse, whether through cheating or finding something else to occupy their time and energy, must mean that they love themselves more than they love their spouse. But, I have learned that this is not true.
When a person is incapable of loving his/her spouse, it is not because they love themselves too much, it is because he/she lacks love all together.
When anyone is in search of anything outside of the marriage to compensate for what they believe is missing, it means there is a void that nothing but Christ can fill. Your spouse is incapable of loving you without first loving himself. You cannot teach your spouse how to love you, and it certainly isn’t your job either. We learn true love from Christ and his examples in the word of God. Ephesians 3:19 says, “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.
Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Completion cannot come from anyone but Christ. It certainly will not come from you, because you are just as imperfect as your straying spouse. Though you may not see it or exhibit it in the same way your spouse does, you may have some work to do on yourself.
An imbalanced marriage does not occur because of one person. It is a collection of occurrences on both parts that leads to a break down.
If you are feeling unloved or unsupported, it is up to you to say so, but it is not up to you to fix it. This means that it is not up to you to fix or change the person that you are with so that you can be loved the way you want to be.
Remember, if your spouse is not loving you right, then he/she is not loving him/herself in the right way either. You should voice your feelings and be supportive in any way that you can while your spouse is learning how to love and forgive him/herself, but don’t think that you have the answer to their problems. The answer only lies in one entity: Christ.
When dealing with a spouse who isn’t on the same page as you are, the best thing you can do is pray and lead by example. “And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband[d] brings holiness to his marriage.” (2 Corinthians 7:13-15). Holiness in a marriage means loving unconditionally.
It means learning how to love and forgive yourself and your spouse. It means to put your foundation in the things of God and when you are grounded in God, you both are grounded in each other. Don’t allow your spouse’s negative behavior to dictate yours.
When you do allow their behavior to dictate yours, you’re be throwing away the chance that you have to help get your relationship back on course.
I have found that anytime I have felt neglected, unloved, or alone, God always reminded me that I still have to do my part as a wife. My husband would see my dedication to God and to him, and would strive to match me. Of course I always learn that I am overreacting to certain behaviors, but I also see a change in him.
Marriage is a forever covenant that you make with an imperfect and emotional person. As the spouse of someone who does not seem to love you in the same way anymore, you should find your place in Christ, pray hard, and continue to love your spouse through both actions and words. Your faithfulness to your spouse and your Lord may spark a change in him/her.
