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Word of the Lord for September 2015
We believe God is a God who still speaks today. His voice is one of the greatest commodities we have on this Earth. Jesus Himself said that man should not live by bread alone, but every Word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.
Towards the end of August Natasha and I began to both sense an extreme shift of “FAITH” for the month of September. It was like we knew God was about to do something beyond our understanding.
The last Sunday in August our Pastor, Dr. Matthew Stevenson, spoke a message that hit us in the bottom of our stomach regarding the testing of God to let go of low level thinking and begin ascend the Hill of God.
I immediately text Natasha telling her that the month of September would be a month that WE WILL NEVER FORGET as we step out and obey Him. Trusting God for more we knew that this was the perfect time to put a seed in the ground.
So we sowed the largest seed we’ve ever sown. Within 1 hour of us sowing that seed someone contacted us desiring to give to us, then we had another 2 people by the end of the week.
We then begin to hear of other ministers and prophetic leaders prophesying regarding the month of September.
The Word has been this is the month God is desiring to “SHOW OFF” in your life. My Pastor said it like this, “He wants to give you the opportunity to BRAG ON HIM AGAIN”.
Can you remember the last time you BRAGGED ON GOD because He did something so amazingly powerful in your life?
We believe this is the month God is going to do SUDDEN things very quickly in order to prove to His children once again that He is in control and Lord of their lives.
This is the month for serious faith to believe Him for the things you may have laid down or become discouraged regarding. Whether this was a relationship, a job, financial breakthrough, or even a salvation for a family member.
There are two keys to press into what God has in store for September.
1. You must draw close to Him like never before.
Hebrews 11:6, “Without Faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.
Do not allow yourself to be distracted away from spending quality time with Him this month. Increase your discipline to wake up earlier in order to seek His face. This will help you be obedient when things get rough.
2. You must have a seed in the ground.
Genesis 8:22 states, “While the Earth remains seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.”
We are entering into a season of reaping what we have sown. But more importantly God wants to see how much you BELIEVE HIM. The bible states, where your treasure is, there your heart lies also.
Sowing a financial seed in this month will accelerate your faith to begin to EXPECT God to do something GREAT in your midst. There are many places you can put a seed in the ground at from your church, or any other ministry you feel the Lord leading you to sow into. The amount doesn’t matter, but I will challenge you to sow where you are trying to go. Put your money where your faith is.
We are SO EXCITED for all God has in store for you and your families. We are believing God with you for serious breakthrough in your life.
If you do have a story of breakthrough to share with us, you can comment below or email us at info@marriedandyoung.com
From a teacher’s perspective, going back to school is bittersweet. There is a lot of excitement attached to starting a new year, but also some heartache as we say goodbye to our good friend, summer.
Here are some ideas on how to make the transition easier and pleasant for your family:
1. Create an atmosphere of excitement and anticipation
Teachers and students alike sure do love summer! That can make going back to school a challenge…and easy to complain about. See what happens when you focus on the positives of going back to school – ie: what they’re going to learn, getting to see friends everyday, who their teacher will be, fun things that you did when you were their age, etc.
2. Make time to be outside and/or move around
I can speak for most teachers when I say that we try to get kids outside and moving as much as possible. However, the reality is, your kids will likely be sitting for a longer period of time than they’re used to. Not only will going outside and getting exercise be good for their health, but also good for everyone’s sanity (teachers included!).
3. Focus on your marriage
Your marriage has an effect on your children. The more stable your marriage is, the more stable your kids will be. I don’t know everything about marriage, but I’ve worked with kids enough to know that they notice when something is off between their parents. I guarantee that your kids will benefit from your investment into your marriage!
4. Make your kids’ teachers feel valued
Starting out the year intentionally honoring your kids’ teacher will set a great example for how your kids should view them. It also will put the teacher at ease, as it can be slightly nerve- wrecking being responsible for 20-30 lives. Showing that you trust them and are thankful for them does a world of good – for both teachers and students!
5. Set goals, and celebrate meeting them
Having incentives will not only keep your kids invested in what happens throughout the school year, but is also a great way for you to stay connected to them.
6. Encourage your kids to do random acts of kindness
Communicate with your kids about the importance of serving others, and being a light in their school. I promise you – it’s contagious! I see so much joy within kids when they intentionally make someone’s day.
7. Have grace for yourselves and for your kids
Teachers, students, parents…are all human. We’re all bound to mess up at one time or another. Do the best you can, with what you have, in the time you have! School is wonderful and challenging all at once. Take advantage of opportunities to teach your children how to learn from mistakes and don’t be too hard on yourself if you make them every once in a while too.
Above all else – LOVE your kids. They respect and look up to you more than they may show you. They may not remember all the details from this upcoming school year, but I guarantee they’ll remember how they felt. Choosing to love them (whether you feel like it or not!) will set them up for success.
Happy ‘back to school’ season!
It’s very common for teachers, coaches, and parents to impress upon their children the power of belief. A child that believes in his or herself opens their minds up to the possibilities of achieving greatness. It is in this vein that Proverbs reminds us that as a man thinks, so is he. With that in mind, we as men can’t just turn on the husband gene. We have to enter into a process to get ready. A series of mental, spiritual, and emotional steps must be taken before “she” can be taken.
So, I will share with you 4 Ways to Prepare to Become a Husband before You’re Married:
1. Get your health in order.
You first owe it to God, then everyone else. Scripture says that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. It would shows utter reverence and gratitude to the Lord to take care of your body! As a result of establishing a healthy lifestyle before marriage, you will set the example for your future wife and children and lead them to greatness in a healthy lifestyle.
2. Have a life plan!
Some say it is ideal that a man be “established” (whatever that means) before getting married. I have a different perspective on that: have a plan. Being a man with a plan, shows that you are calculated, focused, and have vision. Having everything already “figured out”, often times, doesn’t leave room for the input of your fiancee/wife.
3. Have a system of accountability
Let’s face it…sometimes we, as men, can be dumb. It’s in our DNA. When our less than perfect moments arise, we need a system of accountability in place that will check us and help steer us back on the path of our plan. We are told, in Proverbs, that our plans can succeed with many counselors. A trustworthy accountability system will keep you sharp, show your potential wife that you are not above correction, and that you can answer to someone.
4. Set defined boundaries
Boundaries are needed in all relationships, but they need to be forged even more in a marriage. Setting safe, healthy, and defined boundaries before you’re married will diminish the possibility of outsiders overreaching when you are happily married. Additionally, it can help facilitate the conversation about family’s and friend’s boundaries. Fellas, the game night has to be put in its place. Mom, can’t be the first one you tell about your day. The principle of “leave and cleave” applies to all relationships that were in place before your marriage. You don’t have to stop them, but they need to be put in their proper secondary/tertiary place.
Gentlemen, the list could go on, but start with these. This will set you on a healthy path to begin journey on becoming a husband.
Class is back in session! While many have already started school and others are yet waiting, parents from all over are brimming with excitement to send their children back to school. August and September mark the beginning of the school year, and as such, school shopping is a primary concern for many parents across the U.S. But no need to fear, I have a great solution for you and your kids to start the school year off prepared… even on a budget. Here are 5 ways to save:
#1 it’s never too late-Create a budget and a plan!
So you may have missed your states tax-free weekend… Ideally, you would want to have everything purchased by the first week of school, but that may not have been possible. With all the last minute summer fun and family outings, somehow back to school shopping slipped your mind or has sunk to the bottom of your list. It’s okay, give yourself a break… it’s not too late! Determine what a reasonable budget is for your household for back to school shopping (including school clothes and supplies) and stick to it. There is always time to get what you need!
#2 Make your first purchases the necessities.
If you have to stick to a schedule of when certain things should be purchased, that’s okay! Whether it is a few items of school clothes/uniforms and some supplies, get what you can now and schedule accordingly to get the rest later. However, start off with the necessities that are appropriate for the age level and the class work they will be doing the first few weeks.
#3 Know what’s on the school supply list & prepare accordingly
Many schools publish the list of supplies before school starts and also provide the children with the list during the first week of school. It would be advantageous to check it out and then see what supplies you have lying around the house from previous years that you can use. Sometimes, everything we need is right in the house under our noses. (Also knowing what’s on the list helps you to do #4.)
#4 Check sales papers and watch for deals around town
There are several stores that have enormous back to school sales in August, huge Labor Day sales in September, and some stores even discount many items at a time. I know it may seem tedious, but if a store has all paper and pens for a $1 one week and all binders for a $1 the next week, what does it hurt to know about that sale and get in on the savings fun! ***For clothes shoppers: Knowing the deals also include knowing what stores have layaway and their layaway policy if you need to stretch the budget a bit.
#5 Don’t forget about the Internet
Believe it or not, there are some amazing deals on the Internet for not only back to school supplies, but back to school gear as well. Last year, I was able to find great deals on uniforms for my niece because a lot of local uniform stores did not carry what was required for her, but I did find the exact item reasonably priced online.
And remember: Be smart. Back to school shopping shouldn’t be just relegated to the months of August and September. Truthfully, as children sprout and grow, school shopping can be all year around! So keep a look out of ongoing sales and deals from your favorite store and take advantage of coupons, big sales/clearance events, and door buster bargains! Not only will it save you money, but it will also alleviate the pressure of having everything done by a certain time.
When a relationship doesn’t work out it can be very challenging having to adjust back to life without that person. Depending on how long and how serious the relationship and commitment was, the time it takes you to move forward will vary. I had one serious break up during college with a young lady that I one time believed I was going to marry.
Even though I was the one that ended the relationship, I still had times after the break up that I second-guessed my decision. It was during that time I had to turn to the Word of God to help me through that season of adjusting back to life without that person. I had to trust God’s leading regarding His future plan for my life.
If you have been broken up with, then God’s word will help you remember that God is in control and that the best is yet to come.
Here are the 10 scriptures that helped me during that season of my life:
1. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will straight your paths.”
2. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
3. Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall their be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
4. John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the World gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
5. Isaiah 41:10 ““Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
6. Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
7. Isaiah 55:8 “’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.”
8. Psalm 27:14 “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”
9. 1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.“
10. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. “
Going through a breakup is never easy, but when we turn our focus to God and mediate on the promises of His word, we are able to be comforted in a tough time. His word promises that He has good plans for you (Jer 29:11), that you cannot even dream up all the good things that God has prepared for those who love Him (1 Cor 2:9), and that there is a future hope for you that will not be cut off (Prov 23:18). Take heart! God is with you.
It is a known and accepted fact that 100% of married couples find themselves disagreeing about an issue at some point in their relationship. There is nothing wrong with conflict, because according to Dr. Gary Smalley, “conflict is a normal part of any relationship, the key is to learn how to resolve them without emotional injury.”
When my wife and I began to encounter our first round of conflict during the beginning of our marriage, I immediately learned that the true test of resolving without hurting our relationship wasn’t while we were in the “conflict ring,” but how we prepared outside of the “conflict ring.”
Before an argument or issue arose, we discussed, determined, and prepared how we would resolve the conflict with the end result being us learning more about one another, versus destroying one another. I call it, preparing while sober.
We came to an agreement of the things we didn’t want to see happen as a result of conflict. I learned my wife hates the silent treatment, and being made to look like the bad person. She learned that I don’t like destructive words, yelling, or attempting to push the issue under the rug.
Discussing these things while emotionally sober helped us to have an expectation and an agreed understanding of how to guard one another during conflict without hurting each other.
Now, how does that play out when the heat is on, emotions are high, and someone is upset in your marriage? You better believe it took many “practice” rounds for my wife and I until we learned that we must play by the rules.
Here are 3 ways to prepare for conflict so you’ll never have to sleep on the couch:
1. Find out what hurts each other the most during times of conflict.
We are all created differently, which means different things will affect us at different levels. By sitting down with your spouse and learning how conflict affects them and what hurts them the most, you will then know what not to do during moments of conflict.
2. Come to an agreement of what you will not do during times of conflict.
You need to create a “win-win” for your times of conflict by establishing agreements. It is these agreements that will help you fight fair. For my wife and I, we have an agreement that no matter what, we will never separate ourselves at night due to a disagreement. I also agreed to never raise my voice or hand at her no matter the situation. What are some agreements you and your spouse can establish to ensure you fight fair?
3. Don’t forget you’re on the same team.
When you enter into a time of conflict, you must not forget that you’re not fighting each other, but your fighting the issue that’s trying to come between you. You and your spouse are on the same team, even though you may feel at times that your spouse is against you. Do not allow pride to get into your heart causing you to view your spouse as your enemy. You’re on the same team! Fight the good fight!
Now, you may be reading this and you and your spouse are right in the middle of an unresolved conflict that’s now causing emotional strain in your marriage. I encourage you to seek outside help from a counselor or pastor. Don’t wait for one of you to give in, but agree that peace in your home must be more valuable than waiting to prove someone wrong. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.”
We have all heard the popular phrase, “You can’t have a testimony without a test.” This is very true, and if you ask anyone with a story what it took to get to where they are now, you better pull up a chair because they will keep you for days. As with personal testimonies and stories, every married couple also must face various tests throughout their journey.
Here are 4 tests every Godly marriage must face:
1. The “Keeping the Main Thing the Main thing” Test
Exodus 20:3 says, “You will not have any other gods before me.” God wants all of you, but after you get married this becomes a challenge in itself. It becomes clear very quickly why Apostle Paul states in 1 Corinthians 7:34, “ A married person has to think about earthly responsibility and how to please their spouse.” One translation even says a married person’s interests are divided. The first test every Godly marriage must go through is keeping God in first place. You will have the opportunity to replace him with so many other things including your spouse, but you must learn you are nothing without him.
2. The Unconditional Love Test
Christ-like love is the hardest love to imitate, yet that’s exactly what He calls us to do. John 13:35, states, “Your love for one another will prove to the World that you are my disciples.” Unconditional means no matter what, how, or when you must love your spouse unconditionally. This is much easier said than done. It takes daily dying to yourself to not allow your love for your spouse to be affected and conditional upon what they do.
3. The Good Steward Test
To whom much is given, much is required. Well, what do you do when you haven’t been given a lot? This is where many of us fail to realize the riches we have been entrusted with. God is not concerned about the quantity, but rather with the quality. Every married couple must face the test of being good stewards of their finances. This is done by first giving back to God a portion of what He has entrusted you with. This is literally one of the most challenging things for couples. This is why God says in Malachi for us to test him in this area and see the great reward we will receive, because He knew this would be hard for us to do. Be a good steward of your finances by remembering who the Owner is, and managing the wealth He has entrusted you with well.
4. The Faithfulness Test
Faithfulness can be applied to so many different areas of your life, but the one I would like to focus on is being faithful to your promises. You made a promise on your wedding day when you read aloud your vows. My wife and I actually watch our wedding video each anniversary to be reminded of the vows we made to each other. Staying faithful to those vows to love her unconditionally, lead her like Christ leads the church, protect her like her Father did, provide for her no matter the circumstance, and guard my heart from any other thing stealing it away is vital to a healthy and happy marriage. These vows are important, and they will be tested. But, you must remain faithful to the promise you made, because it is out of your story that many will be inspired to do the same.
Every marriage will be tested. Its not a question of if, but rather when. However, when we learn to handle testings well, the only thing that can come from them is growth and greater intimacy. I encourage you today to view your marital tests as an opportunity to become stronger as a unit, and not allow them to divide you or create chaos. Allow the testings that come your way to make you one!
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Are You Really Listening?
Just this past Saturday I played another game of tennis in which I lost. In fact I haven’t won a game all year, but I still love the game and continue to play. One of the wonderful things I like about playing tennis is how social the game is. In fact, after a match I spoke with one of my frequent opponents about marriage. I told him about how I’ve been helping people with their marriages and there seems to be a common theme. When there are issues within a marriage, it seems that a lot of times this is because no one is listening to each other. I often find myself saying to them, you are both right and you are both wrong.
I have found this to be true in my marriage. I find myself being very frustrated when I tell my wife that I like doors closed and lights off when one leaves the room, but she continues to leave doors open and lights on. I’m very certain that she gets frustrated with me when she finds my clothes laying on the floor next to the hamper instead of being in the hamper. I know these may seem like trivial requests, but since they are important to each of us and therefore they are important and should be treated as such.
Many of the people that I interact with are highly motivated professionals who seek advancement in their careers. They are committed to success and do whatever it takes to succeed in what they do. When their boss makes requests of them, they do whatever it takes to meet the goal of the task. They take the boss’ request very seriously and comply. Of course they do this because it is their job and if they would like to keep their jobs, so they will do what it takes to make sure they do. Individuals will read and attend training and seminars in order to ensure that they meet and exceed the expectations of their bosses. They know what to do to succeed at their job because they LISTEN to their boss.
What I find baffling is that we apply this focus and tenacity to our jobs, but will not apply the same focus and tenacity to our families. I believe that’s what probably frustrates many spouses. They see their mate working so hard to please their bosses, but when they get home they’re not as intentional when it comes to listening to their families needs and pleasing their families. I was at one time guilty of this. I am an academic advisor and I noticed that I was patient and extra-accommodating to my students, but I didn’t extend the same courtesy to my family. I then had a epiphany: I would have my family forever and this job is very temporary. My family needs my patience and listening ear, and I must accommodate them in every way possible. They are my family. They are my responsibility. They need my care and attention much more than my students do.
I am not suggesting that we should approach our families as jobs. Jobs are something that we must do. We should look at our families as our passions. We should look at them as something that we enjoy working at in order to have the most enjoyable family life possible. I often find myself checking in with my wife to make sure that she is enjoying our marriage. I make sure I am doing what’s necessary to please my wife. She does the same. I suggest you do the same. Ask your spouse a simple question, “How are we doing?”. Brace yourself you may or may not like what you hear. Listen to them and believe them. They are not “trippin,” that is their perspective and that is their truth. Since they are your spouse and you are one, it is your truth.
When many of us list our top priorities we say God, family, careers, etc. Make sure you are being honest. Make sure you treat your family as if they are more important than any job you will ever have. Listen to them and their needs and act on the truth that they share with you. Do that, and they will believe that you truly love them.
Be blessed and enjoy your day,
Joel Pearson.