From the desk of The Modern Day Cindi: Happy Father’s Day! It’s with great pride that I celebrate all fathers in the world, whether present or absent. Today I celebrate my husband as the dynamic man that he is and the awesome father he is already to our child.
As a matter of fact, I honor him as father today just as I always have for the past 7 years. Although our child won’t be born for a few more months, I believe in speaking life into a person regarding who they are called to be.
That’s why I have always celebrated my husband on Father’s Day, not just our seeds, but all the young people he has stood in the gap for when they were in need of a father figure in their life.
Also, on this Father’s Day, in continued remembrance of my deceased dad, I celebrate him and what he represented in my life. Although I did not live in the house with him for an extended period of time, he took very good care of me.
I would venture to say he did the best that he could, even though 9 months out of the year we were separated by approximately 1200 miles. And for that, this post is especially important. So, lean in, pay attention, and keep an open mind.
The bible reminds us (Ephesians 6:2 and Exodus 20:12) to honor thy father and mother. Because of what the word tells us, along with a few observations I have made, I’ve always had an issue with the lack of respect and reverence for fathers that has been passed on over the years. Yes, undoubtedly, mothers do a lot from giving their womb as a place of nurturing, to hopefully continuing that nurturing process after we’re born
But, could it be that the root behind why we don’t see as much honor, reverence, & respect for fathers and the reason the continuous cycle of absence of father’s in the “home” perpetuates is because we constantly accredit all of the efforts and accolades to moms, simultaneously minimizing a man’s contribution to the family?
Let’s examine it! Most people know that men like and need to be validated for their efforts. And yes, while it may not be the same contributions that women provide, fathers provide a significant impact on the lives of their children from their presence alone.
However, due to the skewed perception of their decreased value in the lives of their children, there are many men that will seek validation and affirmation from sources outside of the familiar relationships e.g. work, school, other people, etc.
This is certainly a systemic issue that dates back for generations and therefore, holds all people (both men and women) accountable for the disenfranchisement of father’s in the “home”.
As a growing mommy, I understand that God did intentionally create men and women differently, but that is not an impediment to the value of a father to his children. Men can and will nurture, stay the course, and give all when looked at as a father.
This post by no means is intended to minimize the mental, emotional, physical, etc efforts and sacrifices that mother’s experience. However, it is good to note that many men have also taken to the role as father and caregiver – married and even unmarried. In a society where men may not get the honor or respect they deserve for their service and support to their children because some may deem it “not enough,” it is important to stop comparing the roles of the two and allow Papa to fully embrace his role with pride.
Maybe if we intentionally bring honor to father’s on this day (and every day), we will continue to see an upswing in the role of both parents for the sake of the children.
Now back to my own daddy example. I believe the reason why I had such a phenomenal relationship with my father was not because he was super human or trying to take on the role of my mom, but because neither my mom nor my dad ever spoke ill of one another, not even a subtle hint of negativity (and if they did, it was not around me).
This small thing alone allowed me to honor him as my father and honor my mom as my mother. I was able to see his efforts for what they were, draw my own conclusions, and establish the relationship we needed to have despite the space that separated us.
So again, let’s not forget to give fathers their due and remember that it is possible to honor thy father and mother without dimming the light of one parent to magnify the role of the other. Be well!
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