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If You Ain't Married You're Not Doing It Right

For Men
Be a man
Set the standard
Do not complain about the way she dresses, acts and talks
Because, it’s your fault
It’s because you let her
My bad
Did I say let her?
I meant to say lead her
To believe
That she’s only beautiful scantily clad looking ready to conceive
Let her be free to be your queen to be
And she’ll  treat you like a king
I promise, to keep her, you won’t have to be mean
Stop being weak, stop being lame
Be a man, it’s all your responsibility take onus take the blame
If you respect her, you respect yourself
And plant seeds of wealth
If not for you, then the next guy
Show her how not to fall for lies
Be a man, live with integrity
What you get is what you see
It’s not my words but my actions that are really me
Be her brother, be her friend
If you do, both hearts will mend
Don’t aimlessly spread your seed
Closely guard your legacy
It’s not about you it’s about we
Keep the faith
Keep up the fight
If you ain’t married you ain’t doing it right

For Her
You thought he’d stay if you gave it away?
But that’s precisely why’s he’s leaving
It didn’t work with Ricky, Bobby, Sean, Paul or even Steven
Insanity
Try something new
Date you
Learn how to treat you
Fall in love with you
You are worth so much
At least that’s what He said
You are fearfully and wonderfully made
Do not settle for less
Let Him bless you with your fairy tale
Never stop believing
Expand your horizons even
I’m sure you’re realizing
Such strict discrimination is unconstitutional and delusional
I know it’s not fair
But stick to God’s plan He’s painfully clear
Find the one who’s in Him
But you say he’s just a friend
Give him a chance I’m sure your heart he’ll mend
You don’t have to be clever
It’s not hard, there’s no secret
Marriage is friendship forever
It is what it is
Don’t you want to have kids?
Please, don’t do it alone
I’m begging you to find a king with whom to share the throne.
Keep the faith
Keep up the fight
Because if you ain’t married you ain’t doing it right

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Dating/Courting Home Physical Intimacy

Sex Before Marriage: 6 Reasons Why and How to Prevent It

To recap from my last post (click here) in The Lady in Waiting series, Ruth had been found by Boaz (Naomi’s relative) and was given much favor from him. Naomi knowing the Jewish custom instructed Ruth to lay at Boaz’ feet as a sign of subjection to him as her next of kin.
It was not an act of seduction but an act of obedience to a foreign custom to preserve her deceased husband’s name and memory. She could have acted inappropriately with Boaz but she innocently laid at his feet. Boaz being the honorable man that he was, sent her on her way with his word that he will be her redeemer (obligation to redeem a relative in serious difficulty). Ruth being the virtuous woman was praised and complimented by Boaz. He respected her and was eager to be her husband.

 11 And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character. 12 Although it is true that I am a guardian-redeemer of our family, there is another who is more closely related than I. 13 Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to do his duty as your guardian-redeemer, good; let him redeem you. But if he is not willing, as surely as the Lord lives I will do it. Lie here until morning.”

(New International Version, Ruth 3:11-13)
 

The customs of this biblical time may seem hard to understand but the temptations that they faced are not anything foreign. Ruth’s husband died and she was a single woman living with her mother-in-law. I am sure she longed to have a warm body next to her every night. I am sure Boaz was attracted to this beautiful young woman. There had to be some restraint taken at that moment that he realized she was laying at his feet. They waited until they were married to show their love to each other.

According to this article, 95% of respondents in their study have had sex before marriage by the age of 44. They concluded that almost all Americans have had sex before marriage. This is not surprising to me. Abstaining from sexual intercourse is not the norm in our culture.

Being sexual and sensual is praised these days. We are bombarded with images, songs, hot topics, and news about celebrities and their sexy lifestyles. If you want to be one of the 5% you will have to know your redeemer Jesus. I’m talking a true relationship! If you happen to be in the 95%, it is not too late for you. The Lord can and will redeem you.

My husband and I were of the 95% but had decided to wait until we were married to have sex again. We did not want to give room to the enemy in our relationship. Thank the Lord we were engaged for only 9 months because it was difficult, especially since we were not virgins. I am so glad we waited because sex blessed by God is amazing and does not compare to anything I experienced in the world.

If you are still a virgin, please, please, I beg you to wait until you are married.  It will be hard but it is not impossible. The consequences of premarital sex are emotionally, physically, and spiritually damaging. Believe me, even though redemption is always waiting, I could have done without the purging process of those sexual encounters. Here are six ways to help you stay pure.

  1.  Be on guard

Turn off those songs, stop watching that tv show/movie, don’t take a second look, and stop that conversation and text. You know will know to “shut it down” when you feel conviction or uncomfortable. Do not ignore those feelings because these actions will plant seeds of impure thoughts in your mind and heart

2.     GET UP AND GO HOME!!

Don’t linger over his/her house too long. You know when you are feeling “some kind of way” so this is the time when you should leave.

3.     Call on a friend

Have someone you can talk to and confide in when you need encouragement or needing support.

4.     Get involved

Occupy your down time by doing activities that you love. Have fun while you are single! Go on that trip, enroll in that class, go to that festival and enjoy life.

5.     Develop your relationship with God

Be honest with God and cultivate your unique relationship. Pray, Study, Cry, Scream, Sing, and Laugh during your intimate time with the Lord. Just let go! He is our first love. This blessed me during my purging stage. I was open with Him and to Him.

6. Tell yourself “It’s not worth it!”

One night of counterfeit passion is not worth causing distance between you and Jesus, ruining your relationship with him/her and sinning against your body. He created this beautiful act of love for marriage and He wants you to experience it His way.

 
On behalf of Married and Young, I will be blessing someone with this book. In order to enter into the drawing you have to do two things:
 

  1. Follow Married and Young on Facebook
  2. Commented on at least one of the 4 posts of the Lady in Waiting Series on Married and Young

 

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8 Boundaries To Consider When Starting a Courting Relationship

As I think about courting or dating, I think about all of the times that I have heard people tell me what I should and should not do for whatever reasons.
Then I start to think about the fact that what most people said was backed with wisdom, but lacked scriptural support.
I decided that I would create a list of my own dating expectations and back them with scripture just to make sure that what I was doing was based on the word and not solely on what someone else told me.
Now, before we jump in, let me forewarn you: I have a degree in theology and I completely understand the importance of using scripture in context. Due to the length of this article I will be using just one or two verses per section which will provide support for each point. I am not trying to exegete passages; I’m just backing my thoughts up. So drop your stones and jump into it!
1. No kissing, making out, rubbing, touching, etc. 
I started out with this one because I knew it would get the strongest reaction. I think it is amazing how upset we get when we feel like people are trying to be “fun snatchers” and give us a list of do’s and don’ts for our relationships.
Here’s the reality: the more upset you are with rules and boundaries, the more likely you are to end up with no boundaries at all, and in dangerous situations. I said this because naturally, your flesh gets bored and wants to go to the next level. If you start off kissing, you’ll end up doing way more before you put a ring on it.
2.     NO REARRANGING SCHEDULES JUST TO SEE OR TALK TO EACH OTHER
You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.
My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. (James 5:19, 20 NLT)
When you begin to rearrange your own schedule to fit his or her schedule, you run the risk of wandering from the things that God has you doing in this season. God has a purpose and assignment for each season of your life. When you adjust it, especially in the beginning of a courting relationship you can potentially get away from your assignment too early.
Chances are you won’t have to rearrange much to find the one God has for you. If you do not rearrange things in your life, especially in the beginning, you are still right on path if things do not work out between the two of you. Until things get to a place where more time is needed, you shouldn’t rearrange your schedules just to see or talk to each other. This includes keeping all curfews and time constraints if necessary. This protects us from wandering from our own truth and purposes.
3. FOCUS ON YOUR PURPOSE
Then the lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. (Genesis 2:18, 19 NLT)

Both parties must be intentional about remaining focused on their own particular purpose and assignment above the other person’s assignment up until engagement. God knew Adam needed a spouse, but gave him his purpose before giving him Eve
Purpose over everything.This point goes hand -in -hand with the last one. The difference here is that God knew about Adam’s need for a spouse. He told him [it’s not good for you to be alone, but, before I send her to you, I need you to first fulfill purpose.] Your spouse will not take away, but add value to the purpose that God has for you. However, you must allow them to remain  focused on their purpose during the courting process.
4. Hangout in well-lit areas in public places for accountability, As well as with groups if possible
For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all. (Luke 8:17NLT)
This just helps to maintain safety in your purity and your motives. Although we enjoy those darker, more romantic, sitting in the car talking, or in the movie theatre cuddling settings, it’s much safer if people can see you at all times.
I highly doubt that Potiphar’s wife would have been able to accuse Joseph of rape if they were in a well-lit area, surrounded by several people. Help yourself out and stay away from dark places.
5. No riding in the car alone with each other for any reason the only exception is if there are other parties in the car
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18NLT)

I am sure that for this one you may say, “but what about dates?” Well, I am glad you asked. I know that I am nowhere near where I used to be pertaining to my struggle with lust.
However, I also know that the more I am alone with my girlfriend in a car the more I am tempted to have long conversations which could turn into more physical adventures. Maybe I’m over exaggerating but if you’re really attracted to someone, then good luck trying to not break boundaries. You can make it hard on yourself if you want, I’ll choose to RUN!
6. ALWAYS LET SOMEBODY ELSE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND WHEN FOR ACCOUNTABILITY
Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1, 2 NLT)
This just helps relieve some pressure off of you. If you are going out, just simply let a friend or two that know your current status, know where and when you are going.
This will help them to hold you accountable. They can simply text you later that night to ask you how it went and if you maintained your boundaries.  Just know the key to real accountability is honesty. Tell them the truth so they can help you remain pure.
Secrets usually show that you may not be in a healthy relationship anyways. So tell the truth.
7. GUARD YOUR HEART FROM BEING DISTRACTED
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:23 NLT)

Your heart determines everything about the direction of your life. When entering a relationship, it is easy to get caught in the feelings and emotions of the relationship.
If you allow your heart to be distracted and thrown off course, then you can potentially detour or prolong your journey to purpose. Just know that your heart determines the course of your life, so if you see yourself going in a different direction because of a relationship, you should reevaluate your heart
God has a plan and a purpose for you and if you are with the right person, they will not take away from purpose in your life.
8. DO NOT MARRY THE PERSON IN YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU SAY I DO AT THE ALTAR
Do not even say, ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black. Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one. (Matthew 5:36, 37 NLT)
I have seen so many couples dating swear that they found the one, only to find out months later that it was just one of the ones you would try before you really met the one.
It hurts when I see people marrying the idea of a person. You then shut off the voice of God in regard to that decision. If he or she is the one, why do you have to keep convincing yourself or them that that is the case? You don’t.
Let God make that decision, just enjoy the process and guard your heart.At the end of the day it’s your life and your journey. I hope you enjoy it and enjoy the process of finding a spouse. Just do whatever you can to stay the course of your life.
When you get off course for someone else, it may not work the way you think it will. Keep Him first. He is the epitome of beauty anyways. If He is at the center, you are less likely to be MOVED by any other person. You may or may not think these apply to you… But I say, try them anyways!!!

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4 Lies About Sex That Every Couple Must Not Believe

unable to sleep in bed because of snoring partner

Let’s be honest, one of the many reasons most people (especially those that have been abstinent) look forward to marriage is because they get to have sex “legally” as we say.
You no longer have to feel guilty about having certain feelings about your spouse, crossing boundaries you have set, and dealing with the waiting.
God created sex in marriage for a number of reasons including enjoyment, unity, procreation, and many health and emotional benefits. It is known to reduce stress, and couples who have sex often live longer.
But what if your expectations about sex become more of a burden than a blessing? Deal with these myths as soon as you can so you can enjoy the spouse God has for you.
Myth 1: Sex in Marriage is boring
Research states that when couples have good communication and are connected in interest and purpose, they enjoy a very deep and satisfying sex life. The longer you stay married the deeper the connection becomes.
There is safety in sex within the marriage bed which allows people to be more open and willing to be free with their spouse. Remember to honor each other’s bodies, and make sure not to introduce anything that would bring disrespect or dishonor to the other person, or pull you away from God.
Other than that enjoy each other! I believe God is happy when something he created for his children to enjoy in marriage is much appreciated. Love each other well.
Myth 2: You will have sex all the time:
When talking to many singles they often talk about how they can’t wait for marriage to have sex all the time.  The good news is that there are seasons you do have sex all the time.
Most couples report the first several months of marriage as heated and busy, but as they get into the routine of life it slows down. It doesn’t slow down to the point where you are not having sex, so do not worry. Most couples report having sex three to four times a week, and research states that is what most couples should shoot for.
If it’s more, then wonderful! Keep it up! If it is less look at your schedules and overall relationship and see how you can bump it up a bit.
Myth 3: Sex after children is non-existent:
Now we all know that this myth is not true because people often have children soon after their first child. However, the woman’s body does change; while some experience an increase in libido others feel a decrease.
midyearsale!-2
 
Couples just need to work on understanding each other’s needs physically which can be impacted from exhaustion and hormonal changes in both spouses.
Also, they must become more creative about where and when they have sex; they may need to utilize the baby’s naps and other areas in the house if the baby sleeps in their room. As mentioned before, if the over-all marriage is good, sex does not stop but is adjusted.
Myth 4: You need to know what to do right away:
The point of marriage is to become one with your spouse., Every day is about the process of becoming one and so is sex. When you spend time in intimacy with your spouse, you are unveiling a new piece about them.
Take time out to ask them about themselves—learn each other. Couples that have been married more than ten years report that they are still learning about their spouse. Remember you are an individual and so is your spouse, so as you mature and get older so will your desires.
You have plenty of time to learn your mate, you do not need to know everything on the wedding night.
Older married folks have said “sex is like wine, it gets better with time.” Make time for each other. Every season adjust, relearn each other, and allow God to get the glory out of your love for one another and your marriage.
Great sex doesn’t start in the bedroom, it starts outside of the bedroom with making it a priority.
We have the perfect opportunity for you to make your sex life a priority. We are having a FLASH SALE this weekend only on one of our TOP tools to help you have the best sex life now!
midyearsale!-2
 

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In God's Timing: How God Revealed My Husband to Me

One of the life lessons I keep discovering is: There is a time and place for everything, but only in Gods timing.
 
This has held true from the very beginning of my relationship with my husband. Before we got married we were friends. Before we were friends we were just acquaintances. And before that we were just another face in the crowd unaware of the others existence. But, through every stage there was a time and place for each season of our relationship coming into existence.
 
My husband and I met at Church, but when I first started attending I had just turned 20 years old and he was just about to turn 17. At that point he was just the drummer in the worship band I thought was cute, but thankfully I understood the time and place God was calling me to. I was brand new to my faith and boys were definitely not at the top of my priorities. I accepted that God was calling me to focus on my relationship with Him and not pursue other relationships at that time.
 
As the year went on I had some of the most amazing moments in my life. I was so thankful for where God had placed me. I was single and I was discovering who I was in Christ. It was a great season of my life. It seemed soon enough I was turning 21 and that cute drummer was still 17! Shortly after turning 21, Derek (my now husband) finally turned 18. I no longer felt awkward having a crush on a younger guy and I knew God was changing the season I was in.
 
Throughout the year before Derek turned 18 I had not said one word to him. My main focus was on God, but I couldn’t help but notice Derek when he was around. It felt a little weird knowing he wasn’t even 18 yet, so really the thought of dating him was not even in question. Now, not to mention he was legally still a minor and I was almost old enough to drink.
 
Where am I going with this? It is important to accept the timing of God’s plans. Notice, I said accept and not understand. I had a crush on a younger guy but I accepted it was not the time and place for a relationship with him. God had other plans in mind before a relationship with Derek and I could happen.
Once Derek turned 18 things began to change. I remembered back on prayers I had with God that previous year and knew Derek was going to be the one. Whether I “knew” or was just strongly hoping, I don’t know, but I felt confirmation that Derek was going to be my husband.
The funny thing is, Derek was having similar thoughts but I had no idea because we never talked! The next year led us into a time of friendship. He joined the young adult bible study and we were easily always around each other. Our attraction seemed pretty evident but we still were not in a place to be more than friends. It took a whole year of friendship to really allow God to do other things in our life. Again, I had to accept God’s timing in my life and allow Him to work.
 
It was a fun time for us, but certainly not easy. We had our own times of trial seeming to test the depth of our friendship. None the less, God moved us into another season that ultimately led us down the path of dating and marriage.
 
I love our love story, and this is the short version, but one thing remained true the whole time. There was always a time and place for everything. I rarely understood God’s timing, but accepted and trusted He knew what was best.
 
My thoughts and prayers for you:
If you are single, don’t get so caught up on “trusting God for the one”, but instead accept God has a perfect time and place for all things in your life. It is so easy to become distracted with the prayers of trusting God for your future spouse (which are important) but don’t allow them to become the core of your relationship with God.
Instead, I encourage you to embrace your alone time with God. It is such a special time in your life when God is revealing your future to you. Walk with Him as He leads you in and out of each new season, and rejoice in His perfect timing for your life.
 
If you are married, then I hope this story can give you a small insight to how God has a perfect time and place for everything. It is easy to get so eager and caught up in life with our spouse that we dismiss what God is doing in the current moment. I found myself thinking back on this time of my life because I needed encouragement.
I needed to be reminded to accept God’s timing in my life instead of trying to push the clock forward. God has always led me in and out of every season at just the right time, and not a moment sooner. No matter what stage your marriage is in accept and trust that God has you there for a reason.
 
God has an amazing journey for us. Remember to Live. Love. Learn. along the way!
 

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Men, This is the Type of Woman You Should Pursue

Proverbs 31:10 (ESV) says, “An excellent (or a virtuous) wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”
This word virtuous comes from the Hebrew word chayil, which means strength or power. However, it is not referring to physical strength, or to a woman who is very strong-willed.
No, the writer here is describing to us a woman who is of strong character, morals, and values. A woman of strong principles, who lives in modesty, and with dignity. A woman who exhibits a strong mentality.
Notice that the verse asks who can find this woman? Do you know what that says to me? Gentlemen, if we want to find a woman like the one being described in this passage, we can’t do it within our own abilities – meaning that no amount of charm, good looks, or even muscles will ever draw her out.
A man can try everything in his arsenal to find this woman, but it just won’t work. Why? Because she is not a normal woman!
This woman is virtuous. She is rare. She is so rare, that she is more valuable than a treasure chest full of gold. In fact, there is only one woman in the entire Bible directly referred to as a virtuous woman. Her name was Ruth.
This type of woman can only be revealed by God, and He will only do this when it is the right time. She is hidden by the Father, because He loves her, and He wants a great man for her.
We need to remember this, as well, that God will never give us something so valuable unless He knows that we are ready for it, ready to be a good steward over this great gift.
So men, if you have not found your helpmate yet, remember that it’s possible that she is right under your nose. It is possible that God has not revealed her yet, because you’re not ready.
Don’t give up and settle for less, or for the first woman who will give you some attention. Chances are, she is not the virtuous woman you need.
Trust that God will lead you to her when the time is right. Until then, make the most of your time, and prepare yourself to be a good steward. Pray that God will open your eyes to see her when the time is right!

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Am I Really Ready for that Relationship?

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Ask Dr. Faith | 22 Ways to Know if You and Your Partner Are Equally Yoked

For Christians the main thing the Father requires when we are looking for a mate is that we are equally yoked. So what does it really mean to be equally yoked? Is it simply going to church, or having a love for God? I believe there are three areas that can prove if a couple is equally yoked or not. Here are 22 ways to tell if you and your partner are equally yoked:

  1. Your understanding, passion, and love of Jesus is similar.
  2. You both have a desire to grow and propel the other towards God.
  3. You both understand and agree that God should be first in each other’s lives.
  4. You both do not feel jealous about the other’s relationship with God (in fact you encourage it).
  5. You understand one another’s vision and the role that you play in the vision.
  6. You are committed to helping the other person become all God has called them to be.
  7. You both encourage and contend for righteous living in your decisions and choices.
  8. You have similar passions whether in ministry, career, or goals.
  9. You both have at least five similar core values about faith, family, finances, and your future.
  10. You both do not allow the other to settle, but use your strengths and gifts to push each other to become better.
  11.  You can name at least three qualities in the other that you want to emulate.
  12. You understand each other’s weakness and you help correct and cover them.
  13. If courting or married, you can both convey clearly the mission and vision of your marriage.
  14. You encourage the other in there disciplines with God even if they are different from yours.
  15. You pray together.
  16. You attend supplemental spiritual, career, or marriage seminars and conferences together.
  17. You have a similar understanding of family and child rearing.
  18. You have a clear understanding of what it will take to help each other’s dreams come true.
  19. You worship God at home or in public together.
  20. You study the word of God and challenge each other in it.
  21. Your idea of success is similar.
  22. You both have a clear understanding of your roles in marriage and you can see how you both fit together.

 
 

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Why Do I Want that Summer Body?…From a Woman's Perspective

Author: Jodi Payne

As summer approaches, I find myself getting very anxious about my outward appearance.  We have a beach trip planned and fun play dates around the pool will be scheduled.  But, all of this “fun” requires me to take off my sweat pants and XXXXL t-shirt! 
 
The great thing is that the beauty of summer does cause my body to crave more fruits and fresh salads, as well as looking forward to going to the park for trail walks and fun times on the playground.  However, summer also brings with it (for some of us) …pressure!  Pressure to “look” a certain way, to “be” a certain way, or to be a certain size.
 
I am all on board with the idea of our families getting more exercise and feeding our bodies healthier foods.  But, I have to ask myself:
 

  • Do I want to be healthier and more fit so that I can have endurance to face long, trying days?

 

  • Do I want to set a healthy example for my children?

 

  • Do I desire to help my body function as well as it can so that I will have the energy I need to fulfill my God-given calling?

 
Then I ask myself … or …
 

  • Do I desire to look a certain way to impress others?

 

  • Do I want attention drawn to my body?

 

  • Am I trying to look like someone other than who God created me to be?

 
These are simple questions, but ones that I believe have a HUGE impact on our lives.  I pray for myself, as well as other believers, that we will learn to discern our own thoughts and motives.  As we shed our winter coats and get ready to embrace a fun-filled summer, may we also remember to keep God at the center of everything!
 
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others…”  (Philippians 2:3)
 
“And so dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you.  Let them be a living and holy sacrifice – the kind HE will find acceptable.  This is truly the way to worship him.  Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  THEN you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”        (Romans 12:1-2)
 

About the Author:
Jodi Payne is the wife of Beck Payne, Lead Pastor of Family Church in West Monroe, LA.  They have 3 children; Gracen, Addelyn, and Hutson.  Jodi is passionate about marriage, family, and mentoring women.

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The Truth About a Single Woman's Confidence

To recap from my last post  in The Lady in Waiting series, Ruth was gleaning in the field of Boaz (Naomi’s relative) to secure food for her and Naomi. She was noticed by Boaz and was given much favor from him. At this point she was confused why he would take notice and give a foreigner like her such favor.
 

10 At this, she bowed down with her face to the ground. She asked him, “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me—a foreigner?”

 11 Boaz replied, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.

(New International Version, Ruth 2:10-11)

 
Boaz didn’t care that she was a foreigner, poor, dirty etc. It wasn’t her outward appearance or status that inspired him to take notice. He was drawn to her by her reputation and the honorable things that he heard about her. She was found by Boaz because of her moral character and virtue.
 
During my late teens and early twenties, I like Ruth, did not know my full value and virtue.  I was insecure about relationships and my appearance.  When I got engaged, I could not fully commit and submit to my fiancé because of past hurt and unresolved pain. I had to do some purging, praying, fasting, and healing. I asked God to heal my heart, renew my mind, and He showed me how beautiful and virtuous I really was.
 
I was assured that my husband would love everything about me and would not hurt me. I became confident in God first and began to trust that He would not give me a husband who would hurt me. I knew that I was beautiful inside and out before my husband ever told me.
 
Your “Boaz” will want a woman that is confident in God and who she is in Him, not broken and insecure.
Ladies, please know and believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are his workmanship recreated in Christ Jesus. You are a good thing waiting to be found.
Your husband will love all of you, even your imperfections are perfect to him (“All of me” by John Legend is playing in my head right now) ;))
Your Abba Father wants to give you a man that will cherish and adore you. Cast down those insecure dark thoughts and be the woman He has called you to be; A virtuous, beautiful, strong, and God fearing woman!

 On behalf of Married and Young, I will be blessing someone with this book. In order to enter into the drawing you have to do two things:

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  2. Commented on at least one of the 4 posts of the Lady in Waiting Series on Married and Young