Tag: single

Categories
Home Single

If Being Single Is Your Only Problem, You're Blessed!

Young stylish charismatic African woman trying her new contemporary fashionable round-shaped sunglasses, looking at the sun, having positive face expression, isolated against red wall background

As a single, I often felt the looming pressure of being in a relationship. Close friends/relatives speculated about my sexuality and I was criticized for being tense, awkward and uninviting to those of the opposite sex. In university, I saw people meet their significant other and I also struggled with depression and created a fantasy life in my mind. I was hoping that Prince Charming would come and take all my worries away. Day after day, as I pined after my dream man, I became increasingly frustrated at God for forgetting about me. I thought I made a great “catch” so why hadn’t my dream man appear yet?

Take the time to Fully Heal and Develop the Fruit of the Spirit

Simply put, I was not ready to be in a relationship. I was insecure, I didn’t know who I was. The restoration process took many years. Years of lies and rejection had to replaced with God’s truth. I had to forgive those who planted deep ingrained wounds in my soul. If I entered a relationship prematurely, I would have projected my fears on that poor soul. I had to learn to be vulnerable and serve people who could spitefully use me. During this period I developed patience, gentleness, love and other fruits of the spirit. I set standards for myself and learned not to give myself to someone simply because they gave me attention. I am truly grateful for my season of restoration.

Trust God’s Timing

God’s ways are not our ways. God created the whole universe with a phrase. We immensely pale in comparison to the wisdom and knowledge of God. God needs to deal with our attitudes, motives and assignments. Marriage is not the most important facet of our lives, being born again is. God wants you and I to be grateful in whatever season that we’re in. There is a beauty in being married as well as in being single. If we try to overstep God’s timing, we risk heartache, missing God’s will for our life and much more.

If Being Single is the Only Problem in Your Life, You’re Blessed

Life and marriage is not about us. Our lives trials, successes and tribulations are for the glory of God. As annoying it may seem, consider it a blessing if being single is the only problem that you currently have in your life. There are people going through much more severe trials. For example, a friend of mines used her season of singleness to provide relief for the on – going Venezuela crisis. In my frailty, I have helped people who were suicidal, purposeless and going through other intense situations.

Find Your Purpose

It’s not about you. It’s about what God wants to do through you. You were made for such a time as this. Get yourself in order. I often hear people run into the ones they’re looking for when they’re not looking! For example, God has allowed me to cultivate my gift of story-telling using multimedia. As we learn to rest in God’s promises, we won’t waste our time being anxious over nothing.  

Scriptures and Additional Resources for Singles to Meditate On

But I prefer that you have no concern. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32 MEV)
Look at the birds of the air, for they do not sow, nor do they reap, nor gather into barns. Yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they ? (Matthew 6:26 MEV)
But he who is married cares for the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:33 – 34 MEV)
Video : Why God Told Me to Be Single by Monica Ummuna 

Categories
Home Single

Girl, You're Still Single?

Sorry to come out and ask like that but this is a serious issue and I need us to come to an understanding that you may be the reason you’re still single.
Why?
1. Because your attitude stinks. I’m going to go ahead and get that one out the way. You’re always complaining or being negative. You’re very disrespectful and demeaning. I mean come on ladies, you can’t expect anyone to want to be around you when you’re constantly putting off bad vibes. Don’t we have enough bad vibes going around already? So, get rid of the stank attitude, it’s played out.
2. Because you’re too picky. He has to be 6’5, look good in grey sweatpants, wear a size 9 shoe, have muscles, facial hair, a house, good credit, a car, no kids, and be CEO of a company. I mean if you can get all that in one package, amen sister, but that is highly unlikely. Now I’m not saying to just be out here with no list but you can’t keep turning down men that aren’t everything on your list because nine times out of ten, THAT MAN DOESN’T EXIST. And let me just keep it all the way real with you, stop being so picky especially when you don’t even possess the qualities you’re looking for.
3. Because you’re using sex as an attraction method. Ever heard the phrase why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free? Well, that’s exactly what you’re doing, so why does he need to commit? If he’s getting everything he wants from you right now, what exactly is he working toward? Oh and let me let you in on a little secret, sex does not equate to relationship. So stop sleeping with every man you come into contact with, choose to wait for the one who wants to marry you. I guarantee when you take sex off the table, it will wean out those not worth your time.
4. Because you’re still caught up on your ex. When men approach you, all you can talk about is how old bae did this and how old bae did that. No man wants to hear about old bae, when he trying to become new bae. Stop blocking all his shots. My advice to you is to just say you’re not open to dating right now. Take time to really get over your last relationship before putting yourself out there for a new one.
5. Because no one knows you’re single. You post all these love songs and quotes all over your social media as if you’re hinting to a relationship. Stop sending mix signals. Or when you’re out and about, you turn down every guy that approaches you. Are you single or nah? I’m not saying you have to send up a red flare or anything but if you want to be in a relationship, then people need to know you’re single. So stop acting like you’re taken.
It’s tough to realize that the reason or reasons you may be single are because of you, but in a world where we want to blame everyone else, maybe  it’s time to start looking inward.
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Engaged Single Spiritual Intimacy

Don't Waste Your Single Season!

Do you find yourself in your singleness wondering when your season will change into marriage? Well, now is the time to shift your perspective. Your singleness is a blessing from God! It is a waiting season that can produce joy as you prepare for the one God has for you. Here are 3 practical tips to enjoy your singleness and use this season wisely.

  1. Focus on your first love. Matthew 22:37 states to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” Look to God as your total source of joy, purpose, love, and meaning. When God occupies the #1 spot in your life, you will have joy as you wait and prepare for your mate. Here are some ways to focus on God as your first love:
  • Spend intentional time in God’s Word and journal what God is speaking to you.
  • Pray and worship daily.
  • Serve your church and community.
  1. Guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 speaks of guarding your heart because it is the wellspring of life. This means your thoughts, words, and actions overflow from your heart. Putting any desire before God is considered an idol. Make it your top priority to stay joyful and guard against the idol of overly desiring a mate in your singleness.

Your waiting season is a gift, remember to stay open to your now! Enjoy your singleness, have fun, and stay in a place of excitement and openness to God’s blessings as you wait (Psalm 27:14). God has that special someone that He will present in His timing. He knows your future and is working out all the details of your love story.

  1. Start with the man or woman in the mirror. In this season, God is using this time to change you and make you more like Him. Proverbs 27:19 says that “as water reflects the face, one’s life reflects the heart. Don’t spend too much time focusing on “a list” of qualities that you want in your potential mate. Focus on being the right person for who God brings into your life. What are ways to focus on yourself as you wait?
  • Stay positive! (see Nehemiah 8:10, Psalm 28:7)
  • Take cooking classes.
  • Read godly books on character development and listening/communication skills for marriage preparation.
  • Pray and ask God to reveal a habit or weak area that may be a hindrance to marriage. When God reveals it, set small goals each day to strengthen yourself to overcome that area.

These three tips will help you stay out of a place of loneliness and embrace your season of singleness with joy. What other ways have worked for you as you enjoy your singleness?

Categories
Single

5 Scriptures to Shift Your Focus While Single

Portrait of beautiful young woman reading a book in the sofa.

Your single season is an important season. Often we miss the lesson in the season because we are distracted by status more than we are focused on God. Distractions are dangerous because it pulls us away from God. Distractions will have you in a place of trying to manipulate the promise. Your mate will come at the opportune time that God has designed. No sooner or later.
Don’t miss the blessings by getting ahead of God. Stay in in alignment with His will. Pull away from the noise: TV, social media, cellphone, etc. Only you know what causes you to be distracted. Don’t lose focus looking at your status. Keep your eyes on the Lord and in due season you will reap a harvest.
1. 1 Corinthians 7:35 “I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”
2. Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
3. Hebrews 12:2 “… fixing our attention on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of the faith, who, in view of the joy set before him, endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
4. Mark 6:31  ‘Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.’
5. Ephesians 6:11  “Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.”
 

Categories
Home Single

How to Get the Most Out of Your Season of Singleness

Beautiful girl having fun outdoor

Often, being single is dreaded and looked down upon. Sometimes it seems like the lonely life! Everyone is wondering, “When is my ‘good thing,’ ‘rib,’ ‘Boaz,’ or ‘bae’ coming?” However, if you continue focusing on the question of when your season of being snatched will arrive, you will miss out on what you need to learn while single. Being single is truly a blessing, and honestly, it’s a REALLY good time to learn more about yourself and grow in your relationship with Jesus.
So instead of focusing on who is “bae,” let’s focus on how you can enjoy yourself as a single person and get the most of the current season of your life. First, right now it’s just you, yourself … and YOU! It’s a blessing to have time to build yourself until the season comes for you to allow someone into your life. When that time comes, everything shifts and more than likely your life will begin to move very fast. This will give you less time to focus on your own personal growth and health because your time will be split between you and your relationship.
By the way, entering into a relationship means you’re opening up your life to someone else’s dysfunctions, perspectives, and life in general; be prepared for that. You must be as secure as possible in who you are as a person so that you can add to – and not deplete – the person with whom you’re in a relationship.
For now, while you’re single, I encourage you to look in the mirror and learn more about your likes, dislikes, insecurities, strengths, weaknesses, dreams, goals, career aspirations, and ministry gifts. Measure the health of your relationship with God and your friendships. This is the best time to make sure you are as healthy as possible in every area of your life. Be intentional about your own self-development and overall happiness.
Another area to focus on is your relationship with Jesus! Single-hood is a great time to establish and maintain a strict devotional life, growing more passionate about fasting, praying, worshiping, and reading the word of God. These four things are the foundation upon which you should build your life. Make sure you are strong in all four of these areas so that you strengthen yourself for each season of your life.
Lastly, it’s important to have as much fun as possible as a single person. Go to the movies, enjoy hobbies with friends, attend training conferences, travel the world. Whatever you consider fun, DO IT! Currently, you don’t have to think about whether your significant other or your spouse would like to participate in your hobbies … you get the freedom to do what you enjoy! Don’t waste time wondering about “bae” when the truth is that “bae” isn’t here yet … enjoy your life!
Well, there you go! To get the most out of your season of singleness, you must focus on YOU and your current season. How can you enter into a relationship with someone and add to their life if you haven’t taken care of your own life? It’s simply not possible. I promise you, take care of yourself this season and your future “bae” will thank you!

Categories
Home Single

4 Ways to Stay Pure As a Single Person

Relax and dreaming. Outdoor portrait of thoughtful young african man sitting near the sea.

In this world, it’s hard to stay pure, especially as a single ! Read the tips below in order to thrive in your season of singleness !
1. Be In the Word
It’s important to mediate on the Word, day and night (Joshua 1:8).  Psalm 119:9 (MEV) states, “How shall a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word.” The Word tests our hearts, motives and desires (Hebrews 4:12). It renews our minds (Romans 12:2). Regularly reading the Word, strengthens our relationship with the Lord. The Word molds your desires into God’s (Ezekiel 36:26).
2. Keep an Active Prayer Life
Having an active prayer life will unleash God’s will for your life. God says you have not because you ask not (James 4:2) , but be careful not to ask from a selfish heart (James 4:3). If you are struggling in a certain area of purity, talking to God will give you the strength and guidance to move forward. Living a life of regular repentance will help you hear God’s voice. Also, take the time to listen to the Spirit and see where the Spirit is guiding you (Psalm 27:14).
3. Have an Accountability Partner/Group
Get involved with a men or women’s fellowship group. Surround yourself with people who will sharpen you (Proverbs 27:17) . You can create a WhatsApp group with like – minded individuals that you can talk to throughout the day. Find a mentor who will regularly check in on your spiritual status as well as one that you can trust with your struggles (Proverbs 15:22).
4. Flee From Youthful Lusts
Don’t indulge in shows, movies, books or music that will trigger feelings of lust or loneliness. Avoid shows that depict adulterous relationships or premarital sex. For example, if pornographic images appear on my webpage, I quickly exit the web page and immediately block any spam porn accounts. In high school, I used to watch teenage dramas, a lot of them were filled with scenes depicting premarital sex. Unsurprisingly, I started to experience lustful thoughts. R & B songs are nice, but if you notice that you start yearning and coveting for that “real love,” take a break. On the contrary, focus on media that edifies your spirit. Additionally, if you find yourself on social media envying others or feeling inadequate because you see that “everyone” is in relationships, with a house, baby and dream wedding photos  – take a break! Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23).
Look at King David. Despite slaying giants and armies in his youth, King David fell because he stared at Bathsheba ( 2 Samuel 11). David should have looked away but he chose to watch Bathsheba bathe. It led to a downhill cycle of adultery, a child born out of wedlock and murder. Don’t think you are more righteous than David. Remember, that we have to pursue holiness (Hebrews 12:14).
Conclusion
All in all, these tips were created to avoid unnecessary strife in your singleness. This won’t guarantee a bliss free season of singleness. The devil will do everything he can  to make you feel sorry for yourself ! I  can testify to struggling with loneliness at times. I am not perfect, and often succumb to my own weaknesses. However, God rejoices in our weaknesses because when we are weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). Your season of singleness is a special time. This is the time you can reach the lost like never before, strengthen your relationship with God, pursue your dreams and heal from past wounds. Be blessed and stay strong in the Lord !
Other Scripture References/Resources : John 10:10,  Psalm 37:4,  1 Corinthians 7:34 , Matthew 18:9
The Heather Lindsey Show discusses the effects of secular music/media on the mind

Categories
Dating/Courting Home Single

3 Ways To Know You're Ready to Date Again

young woman looking thoughtful at the coffee shop

How do you know when it’s time to start living the next chapter of your life?
After having brunch with some friends, I started thinking about that question. I listened to them talk about their relationships and how they would just put themselves out there. I’ve seen women time after time fool themselves into thinking they were ready to date for whatever the reason, but my question is what makes you think that you’re ready?
That’s when I started examining those closest to me, especially those in successful relationships, and came up with the following three ways women can know they ready to date again.
 1. You’re no longer bitter about your ex
You aren’t stalking his social media, you’re not checking his new girlfriend’s social media either, you’re not leaving rude comments- acting like you’re Jazmine Sullivan. We’ve all been there, but if you’re still there, then you are not ready to be in another relationship.
When you’re truly over your ex, you don’t care what they are doing nor do you care who they are doing it with. If they’ve moved on, you’re happy for them and you don’t have any unresolved feelings.
In order for you to start a new chapter, you can’t be still hung up on an ex.
2. You’re no longer interested in rebounds
You know what a re-bounder is? Someone you use as an attempt to get over the last person you dated or use as an attempt to make your ex jealous. A lot of us, when we break up with someone, turn into serial daters where we date randoms (someone not sent by God), just out there choosing anybody. You use re-bounders as a distraction. They are often used as a physical and emotional coping mechanism when you’re not interested in being with them long-term.
When you’re truly interested in dating someone there won’t be any games. You won’t try to distract yourself from the pain of a past failed relationship, you’ll be in a space to offer your whole self to someone.
 3. You’re happy with who you are
Being happy with who you are is a key in knowing that you’re ready to date. Why? Because when you are happy with yourself, you make choices that will keep you happy. You won’t make decisions that are destructive to yourself, your purpose or your destiny. When you are truly happy with yourself, you will attract a mate that is also happy with themselves.
Being happy with yourself means you won’t repeat past errors or mistakes, nor will you expect the next relationship to make up for all the pain you experienced previously because you’ve taken the time to heal appropriately and you’ve taken time to find happiness in yourself and most importantly in God.
What I’m learning being single is that when you’re out living the best life, the life God has planned for you, is usually when God decides to sweep you off of your feet. So don’t be in such a rush to fill your life with meaningless people who will leave you with meaningless memories.
Once you decide that you’re ready to start dating let it because you want to share your happiness with someone, not because you’re trying to erase the memory of someone else.

Categories
Home Single

Keeping Your Vow of Purity

Group of attractive young friends having fun in a cafe bar

I know it’s hard in today’s sex crazed world to maintain your vow of purity and celibacy, but I tell you, it can be done. I’m holding at 6 and half years strong and here’s how I’ve done it.
Know your triggers
If you know kissing causes you to get weak in the knees and you fall into that person’s bed, then you may want to steer away from that. Save kissing for the wedding. If you know that you can’t be alone in a room with a specific someone and control yourself, then you shouldn’t spend time by yourself with that person. Call over some friends and hang out as a group. Guard your eye gates. If you know you can’t watch certain movies with sexual scenes without starting to feel lustful or listen to certain songs, then turn off the movie and watch some comedy, turn the song to something without sexually explicit lyrics, do something that won’t have you feeling all “50 Shades of Grey”.
There’s no sense in tempting yourself.
Set up boundaries when you’re dating
Boundaries are another form of accountability. The word says “don’t give the enemy a foothold”, meaning don’t give the enemy any room to come in and tempt you. He will take full advantage of every opportunity. It’s good to have boundaries when you’re dating because it allows you  protect yourself. Boundaries help you to define where you and your partner should start and stop. To put it another way, boundaries are LIMITS. Boundaries also help eliminate the blame game. If you and your partner know the boundaries and respect the boundaries, then you won’t have to play the blame game when something goes wrong.
Some boundaries you can set up in your dating relationship are:
-Never spending time at each other houses
-No dates that aren’t in public places
-Setting up time limits on the phone (example: no talking after 9:30 pm),
-No casual conversation that can lead to talking about things you shouldn’t.
I encourage you to set up personal boundaries and boundaries for dating relationships.
Prayer
This is going to be the best way to fight against any temptation that may lead you down the road of bad choices. When you think you want to watch porn, pray and then pray some more. When you have impure thoughts, pray and then pray some more. If you find yourself in a compromising situation, don’t feel like you can’t stop. Don’t ignore the Holy Spirit. Get up, STOP! Then pray and pray some more, pray for forgiveness and then know that you are forgiven. Don’t allow the guilt of a decision weigh you down, that will only lead you to make more bad decisions. Pray and know that God will provide a way out of every temptation. He says so in His word.
If you really consider the first two ways I provided then you likely won’t find yourself in compromising situations, however we are human, just know you don’t have to keep going down the wrong path. You can turn back around.
 
Prayer:
Forgive me for the times I have not honored You with my body.Help me to flee from all forms of sexual immorality by fleeing to you. Help me to keep my outward actions and inner thoughts pure before Your eyes- whether I am in public view or in a secret place. Purify my heart and develop in me pure thoughts, words, actions and motives that honor your Holy name.I want to live for You even in a world that doesn’t. I pray that my resistance to temptation increases and my need to follow the patterns of this world decreases. Lord God, I commit myself to you and I take this commitment seriously.
Join The Unpopular Movement by choosing Purity over Popularity. You can get your Purity Card by emailing crownedyou@gmail.com.
 

Categories
Dating/Courting Single

What If God Doesn't Send Your Boaz?

Beauty and skin care concept. Headshot of fashionable dark-skinned young woman with stylish haircut and clean healthy skin looking away with serious and pensive expression, resting against wooden wall

by Richelle Henry
So often, I hear within the single Christian women community to just keep working in my field. I hear that Ruth was found working and busy doing her purpose when she positioned herself to be found by this man of perfection, Mr. Boaz. So many women post statuses about being found by this famous man and even caption photos that tell the story of her wait. We’ve been sold this lie that when it comes to singleness, Boaz in all of his manliness, will come and rescue us from our singleness.
But I must ask you, “What if God doesn’t send you Boaz?”
It’s clear that he’s a hot commodity and millions of Christian women are a part of the rhetoric that if we just position ourselves, flow in purpose, and know who we are, that our prize at the end of it all would be marriage with our Boaz.
But what if God sent me a Moses?
A man who is a leader, but sometimes emotionally driven and in need of my assurance to stand in the fullness of who He was called to be? Although Moses was called, He still felt extremely inadequate and battled insecurities that almost caused him to forfeit the leader that the Lord was trying to pull out of him. What if it were my responsibility to encourage him into his identity?
 
What if God sent me an Elijah?
A man who has had his share of great victories but still wrestles with fear in such a way that he falls into bouts of lowness and crushing depression? Could I be the woman that God has sent to help draw him out of those cave moments and like the Angel did with Elijah, speak the words, “get up and eat?” Could I be a woman of patience, grace, and love to look beyond his bouts of discouragement and see the man he’s destined to be? (See 1 Kings 18 & 1 Kings 19)
 
What if God sent me a Jonah?
A man who has a sure call upon his life to deliver a difficult message, only to be so discouraged with the mantle of his calling that it sends him running? Could I be the woman who, like the whale, was sent to remind him of the importance of obeying the voice of the Lord the first time? Could I be the woman who is sent to help him instead put his fears to flight, instead of his purpose? (See Jonah, Chapter 1)
 
What if God sent me an Abraham?
A man who has received a word to leave everything behind and just follow the Lord to a land that He would soon show him? A man who received a promise and didn’t have the patience to wait for it? Could I be the woman to help him steward the word of the Lord properly and correctly? Could I be the woman who has a husband who receives direction to leave a place of familiarity and help my husband walk forward in absolute and unrelenting faith in obedience to the Father?  (See Genesis 12)
 
What if God sent me David?
A man after God’s own heart but had a past of infidelity, adultery, and murder? Clearly, this man was chosen by God but had a past filled with all sorts of things that would cause many to question his qualification to be used by God. Could I be the woman to help purge the record that holds his confidence hostage and loves him for who He was called to be, not who He used to be? (See 2 Samuel 11)
 
You see, if we continue to believe that we are only created to marry a Boaz, we will be conditioned to believe that he will come perfect and not flawed. We will be conditioned to believe that all of the responsibility will be on him to be perfect, all while forgetting the grace it takes for us to love the man we come into covenant with. What if you position yourself, glean in your field, wait on the threshing floor and the Lord sent you a man mentioned above?  Would you have been so occupied in being found by perfection that you forfeit the man that was created to help you do destiny and purpose with and you the same for him? So, go on, keep waiting for your Boaz. I can assure you, I won’t be doing the same. I’ll be too busy praying that my heart is prepared for the encouraging, pouring, sharpening, and purging that I may have to do with my David, Abraham, or Elijah.
 
Take Heed & Live Free,
Chelle
 
Richelle is Florida-native with a heart for all things Jesus and loving on people. Her passions include counseling, writing, hanging out with friends, family, and cooking! She hopes that in presenting her scars and giving others the courage to reveal their own that it would ultimately put the Father’s love on display to transform, heal, and completely restore! Find Richelle over at her blog www.showthosescars.com.

Categories
Home Single

4 Dangers of Waiting On a Man

I can remember at one point in my life where I was waiting on man. I was waiting on him to grow up, to choose me. I can even remember telling myself, once he gets it all out of his system then he’ll be ready to settle down. I even prayed to God about him.Why do we do that ladies? Why do we sit around and wait on a man? We wait on a man. Then we wait for him to propose. Then we wait for the wedding.
I engage with women quite often and it saddens me to hear that they are just waiting on a man to come or waiting on a man they’ve already committed themselves to. Well I’m here to tell you ladies, that your life is about more than waiting on a man.
Here are some dangers of waiting on a man:
1. Missing the Will of God. You know, purpose, destiny. You don’t want to miss that, not for a man especially. It’s important for you to have your own dreams and vision. Use all that energy you’re exerting waiting on a man, begging for a man and thinking all day about a man on something more productive like that dream you’re always dreaming.
Don’t let all your “waiting” have you miss out on what God has for you in this current season. Maybe He needs you single to build you up and draw you close to Him. He could also have a new job for you, or He could have a ministry He’s birthing on the inside of you. He could be providing funds to go on that once in a lifetime trip, but you’ll never know any of this if your focus is on being with a man.
2. Complete Waste of Time. If you know anything about time, you know you can’t get it back. So why waste it? Time is a precious commodity and you want to be sure to take advantage of the time you have. The bible says in James 4, “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”  We have women out here waiting 10 years for a man. Contrary to popular belief, men know exactly what they want and if by some slim chance they don’t, trust me when I say this, they know what they don’t want. Ladies stop allowing yourself to be bamboozled, tricked, and hoodwinked. While you’re waiting, they’re living.
3. Leads to Desperation. I remember the days I use to be so desperate for a man’s attention, it would drive me to do the most unladylike like things. I was discounting myself and lowering  my standards and that’s dangerous. Truth be told, no man wants a desperate woman. Understand this, your desperation actually pushes men away versus drawing them near.  Desperation will have you doing anything just to get a man.
Chasing a man is not winning. The only thing you win is the loss of your dignity. Confidence is knowing your value instead of expecting a man’s love to provide you with value. Sis be anxious for nothing, be desperate for only God. Allow Him to satisfy your desires. God actually desires for us to be utterly dependent upon Him.
4. Loss Of Identity. While finding your identity is an evolution, we shouldn’t push that aside for the sake of  a relationship. This is exactly how some of us end up as longtime girlfriends or live in lovers, because we were never rooted in who we were created to be to begin with so we just partnered ourselves with some random dude. A random dude is not the man God prepared for you. When you’re rooted in your identity, you wouldn’t dare wait on a man that can’t see you for who God created you to be. Knowing your identity helps you make better life choices.
Don’t get me wrong ladies, waiting is something we will have to do from time to time but, you should never wait on a man if it cost you yourself. That’s too high of a price to pay.