I soared down the highway to my house after work on a Tuesday evening. My wife loaded the minivan with the diaper bag. We loaded our two kids into their car-seats and soared down the highway again. This time, we drove to my parents’ house. Free babysitting!
Closing the car doors as we said goodbye to our kids, we maintained our composure. But, as the driver’s side door slammed, we burst into laughter as though we had just escaped from prison! We were going on a date and it had been a long week.
As we pulled into the parking lot, we felt like kids again. I aim to be romantic. I love taking my wife to fancy dinners. But, sometimes we just need to play hard! Our date that night was putt-putt golf, and we couldn’t have been more excited!
Putt-putt can be a deeply profound and revealing experience. As we avoided the puddles, blocks, obstacles, and strove to balance our swing to make it through the loops of the circus-themed putt-putt course, we were amazed by what we learned.
Here are six marriage skills I learned from putt-putt:
1. Don’t cheer when your spouse fails.
We wanted one another to make it! Sure, there were friendly jabs and jests as each of us would grunt in frustration over missing the hole, but in all 18 holes, we wanted one another to succeed! When your spouse misses the mark, be their biggest, most vocal cheerleader!
2. Give each other do-overs.
The twists and turns of a putt-putt course are purposefully designed to be frustrating. With just the two of us playing, we set one another up for success by allowing “mulligans,” or “do-overs.” In Luke 6:36, Jesus tells us to be merciful. Apply this to marriage.When, not if, one of you misses the mark, offer a merciful, glorious “do-over.”
3. Turn off your brain for an evening.
It feels so good to give stress an eviction notice. My wife and I proposed that, for an evening, we would simply be together and not try to figure everything out. Too often husbands and wives engage in “beast mode” and are always taking care of the business of the household instead of focusing on one another.
4. Be patient while your spouse triumphs.
Putt-putt and golf in general are patience sports. Watching my wife methodically plot out each stroke of the club was inspiring and insightful into how her mind works.In marriage, be intentional about watching how your spouse navigates life’s demands. Don’t look at your phone and tune out. Celebrate each hole-in-one with your spouse through every season!
5. Play together more.
Similar to #3, but still unique. Plan playtime. We didn’t accidentally end up at a putt-putt golf course, I planned an outing that stepped outside of the “thirty-somethings” box and we felt like teenagers dating again!The couple that plays together stays together! Marriages that don’t make time for fun are in danger of taking themselves too seriously. My wife and I agreed that “play dates” are going to become a new norm for our date nights.
6. Throw away the score card.
I still have the score card from the first time I ever played putt-putt with my wife. But as a married couple, I threw this one away. Keeping track of our progress was fun, but what we want to remember about our marriage is that we can’t lose when we’re together.
How do you and your spouse have fun? What do life’s moments reveal about your marriage?
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