The fight for your family isn’t taking a furlough.
Welcome to the twenty-first century: the age of confusion and chaos in a free-for-all, dilapidated society. If ever Christians needed the peace of God in their hearts and homes, it’s now.
Joshua, the protege of Moses, took a stand for the Lord’s place in society. He boldly declared in Joshua 24:15:
“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Like Joshua, we’re living a land where options abound. In this land, we too will have to take a stand and predetermine in our hearts that our house will be a house that serves the Lord.
Growing up, my parents would lead us in simple devotionals, at least once a week as a family. This set me on a course for a divine encounter with the Living God.
Family devotional time doesn’t have to be devoid of life and boring. In fact, I’m convinced it should never be boring.
Here are five ideas for a dynamic family devotional time:
1. Play worship music and worship the Lord together. If your kids are small, pick them up and dance to the Lord together! They’ll associate worship with true joy! Our kids are accustomed to hearing us sing our hearts out to the Lord, enraptured in intimate worship. Once, after seeing a devastating news headline, my immediate response was to go the Lord in worship on my guitar. My family walked in and we had a divine, impromptu worship service in our living room!
2. Have a family-focused prayer night. Let every member take turns sitting in a chair in the middle. Let each family member say a prayer over that person. After praying, every member of the family can say how that person is a blessing or encouragement. Do this until everyone is prayed over and blessed. Also, pray together for family needs and watch and journal as God answers!
3. Take family mission trips. You don’t have to go around the world, but ask God, as a family, who the Lord wants your family to minister to and then load up the car and go! Maybe the Lord will give your family a word of knowledge about a single mom in Wal-Mart who can’t afford groceries. Maybe you go to Chic-Fil-A and buy lunch for the family in the car behind you. The point is, the family does it together and it takes family devos out of the house and into the world!
4. Ask everyone to share on a devotional rotation. Make a schedule and let everyone in the family share what the Lord is teaching them. End the time with prayer for each other and a blessing for each member of the family.
5. Have a global-focused prayer night. Turn off the TV and all the lights and light a few candles. Pray about current events. Let the kids mention their friends or even animals who need prayer. Pray over cities that are mentioned in the news. Pray for the President or the Queen of England, but pray together for things outside of yourselves!
Like Joshua, we should make Christ the Lord of our house and our families. Your commitment to devote a night a week to the Lord as a family will leave an indelible mark on your family forever.
M&Y Family! What other ideas do you have for a family devotional time?
Check out this 42 Day Devotional written by founder’s of Married and Young!
Category: Parenting
Guest Writer: Calvin Russel Jr.
Many young adults apply for student and auto loans only to get denied because of a low credit score. Some of them have no idea how to build credit or how to start on the right path. That is usually when the parents come in. Some parents show their children how to build credit, some build it for them, and some tell their children to never build or worry about credit at all…..only to end up co-signing for them later because of it. I assume since you are reading this, you are far from the latter. Lets get started.
1. Add Them To Your Credit Card As Authorized Users
Adding your child to your credit card as an authorized user is the easiest way to help your child build credit. What makes this process so simple is that most credit card companies offer this as a free service for up to a certain amount of Authorized Users. First, an Authorized User is someone that is added to an account with limited access, and adding an additional card is optional. Keep in mind that when the bill comes every month, the payment history, balance, limit, and utilization will show on the primary and authorized users credit report. The beauty of this feature is that the authorized user score increases even without them having to do anything to the account. Be sure to check with your credit card company to find out more about the terms associated with your card.
2. Add Them To Your Auto Loan (Reverse Co-Signing)
Normally when a young adult is looking for a car, they go to a dealership with their parents in hopes that they will co-sign for them. Once the young adult is denied for the loan, the parent usually steps in and saves the day by becoming a Joint Applicant on the loan. This is called “Co-Signing.”
With “Reverse Co-Signing” a few different steps take place. This will only work if the parent is in the market for a vehicle and has at least a 640 credit score or higher. Here’s how it works:
1. The parent wants a car for themselves
2. The parent can get approved for the auto loan by themselves.
3. The parent adds the young adult to the loan even though the auto loan is for the parent.
4. The interest rate may increase as the joint applicant (the young adult) does not have any or light credit.
5. The parent makes all of the payments of course because the car is for the parent
6. That payment history shows on the young adults credit report.
7. Over time, those payments help create a healthy high credit score for the young adult.
8. When the young adult wants their own auto loan, the banks will more than likely say yes as they currently show a healthy payment history of another auto loan.
9.The young adult is happy with their new car and a co-signer was not needed during the process!
3. Add Them To Your Personal Loan
If a parent is looking to get a personal loan, they can add their young adult children as joint applicants as well. This process may require more paperwork, as a personal loan will go by income, W2’s, Bank Statements, and etc. In the long run, it will be well worth it and will add a healthy payment history to the young adults credit report.
4. Show Them How To Use A Credit Card Properly
Overall, the parent should know how to use a credit card properly but most importantly, to show their children and young adults how to do the same. This process can work for both retail credit cards and the normal bank issued credit cards as well. For the article I wrote on How Credit Cards Work, click here.
The Bottom Line
As a parent, you can see that there are multiple way to help your young adults build a high and strong credit score. I have seen all of these ways work in the best favor possible for the parent and young adult. There have been many cases in which I have seen scores as high as 760 and the young adult had no idea about their credit score being so high or how it got there in the first place.
Calvin Russell Jr is a Certified FICO Professional and the CEO & Founder of Simply Professional Credit Consultation. SP Credit Consultation has helped hundreds of people increase their credit scores, qualify for homes, cars, and lower interest rates with their personal, Step-By- Step Action Plans. Contact us today to learn more or email us at info@gosimplypro.com.
School is out, bags are being packed, and travel plans are being made or fulfilled. Summer time is a time of fun for children! I have some of my fondest memories from my summer breaks. Little did I know that these breaks were often times stressful and worry-filled for my parents. Before I was of an age to stay at home by myself, the main concern that my parents had was safe, sound, and affordable supervision.
It was relatively easy to find some sort of program for me to attend during the day because I was an athlete. Basketball and football camps are prevalent and in demand during the summer months and obviously beneficial. However, what options are available to the parents of children who are not athletically inclined? I have one answer: SUMMER CAMP!
Some children and parents have abstentions with summer camp. It can be scary. It can be costly. It can be inconvenient, especially if the location is far from mom and/or dad’s job or the home.
So to put parents at ease about summer camp, below are 3 benefits of children and teens attending summer camp:
- Supervision! This is the most obvious reason. Children and teens are in constant need of guidance, supervision, and boundaries. These, among academic excellence and intellectual stimulation, are primarily the central responsibilities of school. However, the research is clear that children/teens need consistency and summer camp can be a fun and less rigorous extension of school.
- Teaches interpersonal skills. Summer camp is usually a grouping of children from varied backgrounds and upbringings. If this is not the case, make it a point to place your children in an ethnically diverse environment. The world is not a silo and interacting with their peers in camp will let children gain experience and much need exposure to different cultures and mindsets.
Important Note: Although all summer camps should promote teamwork, acceptance, and tolerance, a diverse camp can teach campers how to communicate effectively in unfamiliar environments and situations.
Often times there are language barriers, intellectual differences, economic barriers and the like that would otherwise limit communication. However, in a group environment such as camp, these limits can become opportunities for growth! Skills such as these are an integral part of the maturation process to adulthood!
- Enrichment activities: Summer camps provide a host of academic and social activities that are designed to keep children’s development on par with their appropriate grade levels. Often times, what makes camp more enjoyable are the exposure to other activities that aren’t explored as much during the school year. For example, fine arts are being pushed further and further out of public school and summer camp is a way to supplement that deficiency. In fact there are camps that are built around fine arts and other activities such as dance, culture, language, sports, art, singing, etc.
Now this all sounds good right? Of course it does! But there may be some hesitation to enroll your child if the price of camps are problematic, which is understandable. So here are some tips that may help subsidize the costs and allow your young ones to grow and explore in new ways.
1. Save throughout the year. Create a budget that will allow you to put back money every pay period to pay for summer camp.
- Research child subsidy programs in your city/county/state/country that will assist in paying for summer camp or child care. Contact governmental agencies such as the Department of Health and Human Services and Administration for Children and Families.
- Seek out camps with scholarship opportunities. Many times church camps and non-profit organizations receive grant money that will pay for the entire program or give scholarships to families in need.
Whatever method you decide, it’s a great investment and beautiful experience for lifelong memories! Simply put, summer camp is AMAZING!!!
As parents, we are charged with the safety, education, love, and support of our children. We are their instructors, coaches, and cheerleaders. However, with all of our experiences and education, we can still learn from our children. Let me share a real story that occurred between one of my closet friends and his eldest son.
My friend’s son was in 2nd grade and is the oldest of 4 children. He and his siblings all go to the same school, so you can imagine what mornings are like getting them all ready! Hectic can sometimes be an understatement. Well, this particular morning my friend was getting the children ready and moving quickly, and was reminded by his eldest son that he hadn’t given him any lunch money. So my friend told him, “Son, I’m coming back. Tell your teacher that I’m coming back.”
Now, we all know that our children hang on to every word we say, and my friend’s son did just that. The day went on and lunchtime rolled around and my friend’s son didn’t have any lunch. His teacher asked him where his lunch or lunch money was. The young boy responded telling him, “My daddy said he’s coming.” Time passed and the end of lunch time was drawing near.
The teacher tells my friend’s son that he’s going to call his father because he may have forgotten. The young man replies and tells him not to call because “My daddy said he’s coming.” The teacher insisted on calling my friend, but his son spoke with the authority of his father and said, “My daddy said he’s coming.” This went on for a few more minutes because the teacher wanted to make sure that my friend’s son could eat.
Shortly after the last exchange between my friend’s son and his teacher, my friend’s father walks in the door with his son’s food. My friend’s son was sitting quietly at the table and when he saw his dad, he commented to his teacher “See, I told you he was coming!”
This true story taught me many things, but there were 3 especially noteworthy things that children can teach their parents about faith:
1. My friend’s son believed, without question, what his father said regardless of what it seemed like at the moment. The fact that all the other kids were enjoying their lunch and having a great time while my friend’s son couldn’t eat had no bearing on the belief, faith, and trust in his father’s promises. What would happen if we believed God’s word…his promises that are “Yes and Amen” as my friend’s son did. How impactful would our lives, our families, and our careers be to God’s kingdom if we exercised this kind of blind, unquestioning faith.
2. My friend’s son sat still in the face of opposition. When hearing this story, another thing that stood out to me was how my friend’s son was sitting when his father arrived. His posture was of an expectant nature! He was not worried. He was not afraid. The thought of not having food did not enter his mind. Even if it did, my friend’s son did not flinch in the face of seeming adversity and opposition. Remember, scripture tells us that when we wait upon the Lord (expectantly) our strength, will, and needs will be renewed. We will be elevated high about like the eagle ready to reign and rule freely.
3. My friend’s son spoke with the authority of his father! When in the classroom, the teacher has the authority. The principal and other administrators also have the authority over the children. However, when my friend’s son said what his father said, the teacher’s authority was trumped. The teacher did not make the phone call because the instructor was told what my friend said to his son. He spoke with authority and conviction!
He spoke without fear, and those who thought they had authority had to yield. They had to acquiesce to the authority of the young man’s father. My friend’s son spoke his father’s words with so much zest and certainty that even the others that had no knowledge of the prior conversation believed. That power and conviction was in the heart of my friend’s son, and just as the Bible says in Luke 6:45, what’s in the heart will come out.
Yes, my 37 year old friend is the teacher and an example for his 7 year old son. But, on that day the son became the teacher. He taught me something as well, and how thankful and grateful I am for the lessons!
From the desk of The Modern Day Cindi: Let’s talk about ways to maintain great intimacy while pregnant, but first let’s start off by debunking the myth that sex during pregnancy is taboo. It isn’t!
As hormones are all the rage, a rump in the sack between spouses may become more frequent as typical concerns such as birth control and pregnancy are no longer major factors with a baby on the way. Yet, many men and women do not look at this as time of just physical intimacy as much as it is a time for emotional closeness and support.
Sex is one of the major draws for marriage and relationship, however during pregnancy, sex may become a delicate situation to manage as physical comfort and emotional needs shift day to day, week to week, or trimester to trimester.
So how do we balance it all without making the sex factor an ex factor? Good News! There are other ways to maintain intimacy without having sex that can add great value to the quality of the relationship, as well as the confidence of your pregnant spouse.
Now nearing the 8th month of pregnancy, I have learned that intimacy can be achieved successfully without intercourse. Pardon the cliché, but intimacy starts in the mind. It is majority mental with physical moments.
Mental stimulation is where the attraction starts and continues. This mental stimulation is what turns into the physical connection that husbands so desire. This stimulation is also what helps builds up the anticipation to those physical moments and ushers in a wife’s willingness to share her mind, body, and soul. So what am I saying? Lovemaking starts in the heart and mind of your spouse and this is even truer during pregnancy.
Here are a few things that make my point plainly:
1. Pregnant Mommy’s want to continue to feel attractive to their husbands so compliment her often. Let her know how beautiful she is! Dote on her not just because she’s your baby momma but because she’s your wife.
2. Remind her that she’s giving you a gift that is a special representation of your love for each other that can’t be duplicated by anyone else. This can be very reassuring as her concern for different aspects of life (personally and professionally) may have her feeling uncomfortable and may even bring a little uncertainty.
3. Share with her in the changes she is going through. Read and study ahead to be aware of her needs and help her adjust (as much as possible) at every stage of her pregnancy.
4. Get uncomfortable with her!
Let her know that she is not alone.I can speak on this from personal experience. The only place I sleep well is on the coach. Sadly, our bed has become a cardinal enemy since early on in my pregnancy, but I found a friend and confidant in the couch. Unfortunately as the sofa became my friend, my long, 6’4 husband relegated himself to the love seat in an act of solidarity and unity and to be as close to me as possible.
Now, I know that does not seem like much, but he has been willing to get uncomfortable for me to show support. And when I gaze over at him on my late night moments, it makes me cuddle up to him even more when he is awake because I know he’s doing it just for me.
It may sound really basic and silly, but again all intimacy does not have to be physical. As a wife, we hold on to these moments of care and compassion. It not only boosts and edifies us, but it also allows the bond of love between you, your husband, and the unborn child grow even more.
M&Y! What are some ways you and your spouse have kept the intimacy alive in your marriage during pregnancy?
Categories
Father's Day Parade Poem
Father’s Day Parade
Thank you my brother for taking care of your fam
Even if no one says it, I’m proud of you, I am
Get up to go to work, even though you hate it
Taking mess from your boss, feeling low and degraded
Be proud of what you do, just know you’re the man
Giving all you’ve got, doing all you can
To keep the lights on, stomachs tight and full
That’s what makes you a king, over your kingdom rule
Love your wife so that your son will act right
Make sure to take your daughter out for a special night
Set the example, for that’s all they’ll understand
You’re the Bishop of your home, it’s part of God’s plan
Your family’s taken care of, they’ve got it made in the shade
You’re doing your job well, and that’s your father’s day parade
Be blessed and enjoy your day.
Joel Pearson
My wife is currently 6 months pregnant with our precious princess, Harvest Ann Miller. We are so excited to bring this bundle of joy into the world. Pregnancy has been a serious time of learning, adjusting, and embracing.
Here are 10 things every pregnant wife needs from her husband:
1. Respond to the announcement of the baby and gender appropriately.
Your reaction to the initial announcement of your wife’s pregnancy means the world to her. When we found out we were pregnant, I was equally as excited as my wife. The challenge came when we were about to find out the gender of the baby. I can honestly say I thought we were having a boy. I remember the look on my face when we found out we were having a girl. I had to quickly adjust it in order to not disappoint my wife. This was such an important moment for her and for every woman; they needs to know you are just as excited as she is! This is all a part of the journey.
2. Tell her she is beautiful and mean it.
Your wife is going through a lot of changes and with those changes comes a hit to her confidence. Hearing, “you are beautiful” from the man she loves more than anything is something that will keep her heart secure in your love.
3. Start interacting with the baby now.
The baby is developing inside of your wife, which makes it really hard for you to feel as connected to the baby as your wife is. This is why you must make intentional steps when it comes to interacting with the baby. One thing I would do each night after my wife falls asleep is hold her belly and pray over my baby girl. This really helped me to start interacting with her and to begin to feel connected to Harvest
4. Massage every part of her body, especially her back.
This right here will make her fall in love with you all over again. This should be done at least one time every day. Take some time and ask your wife where she would like a massage, and I guarantee you will have one happy wife.
5.Don’t take it personal.
Do not take the things that may come out of your wives mouth personal. Give her grace as she undergoes a lot of changes and pressure she is learning how to deal with. She needs support, not fighting.
6. Adjust to her changing love languages.
During pregnancy the way your wife receives love will change. Try out different things to continue meeting her needs. Don’t be afraid to ask her what she wants and be open to serving her in new ways.
7. Learn what is happening in her mind and body.
Read books that will help you better understand what is happening in her body. I subscribed to a pregnancy app that sends me emails each morning with a new tip and update on where my wife is in her pregnancy journey. This helps in our conversations, and is even handy when we are at doctor’s appointments
8. Go to all doctor’s appointment.
I was late to our first appointment due to work and the look on my wife’s face when I arrived was something I never want to see again. Your wife wants you at every appointment; so, make every effort possible to be at each one and to be on time.
9. Let her sleep.
Your wife will experience a strong drain of energy. Take up some extra responsibilities around the house in order to allow her to rest. When she has the sleep she needs, she will be able to function and live much more comfortably, and trust me, you will benefit as well.
10. Be patient and enjoy the journey.
Pregnancy is a journey and if you can be patient with your wife along the ride, your relationship will become stronger than ever. This is the preparation time for entry into one of the most rewarding seasons of your life.
Categories
Honor Thy Father
From the desk of The Modern Day Cindi: Happy Father’s Day! It’s with great pride that I celebrate all fathers in the world, whether present or absent. Today I celebrate my husband as the dynamic man that he is and the awesome father he is already to our child.
As a matter of fact, I honor him as father today just as I always have for the past 7 years. Although our child won’t be born for a few more months, I believe in speaking life into a person regarding who they are called to be.
That’s why I have always celebrated my husband on Father’s Day, not just our seeds, but all the young people he has stood in the gap for when they were in need of a father figure in their life.
Also, on this Father’s Day, in continued remembrance of my deceased dad, I celebrate him and what he represented in my life. Although I did not live in the house with him for an extended period of time, he took very good care of me.
I would venture to say he did the best that he could, even though 9 months out of the year we were separated by approximately 1200 miles. And for that, this post is especially important. So, lean in, pay attention, and keep an open mind.
The bible reminds us (Ephesians 6:2 and Exodus 20:12) to honor thy father and mother. Because of what the word tells us, along with a few observations I have made, I’ve always had an issue with the lack of respect and reverence for fathers that has been passed on over the years. Yes, undoubtedly, mothers do a lot from giving their womb as a place of nurturing, to hopefully continuing that nurturing process after we’re born
But, could it be that the root behind why we don’t see as much honor, reverence, & respect for fathers and the reason the continuous cycle of absence of father’s in the “home” perpetuates is because we constantly accredit all of the efforts and accolades to moms, simultaneously minimizing a man’s contribution to the family?
Let’s examine it! Most people know that men like and need to be validated for their efforts. And yes, while it may not be the same contributions that women provide, fathers provide a significant impact on the lives of their children from their presence alone.
However, due to the skewed perception of their decreased value in the lives of their children, there are many men that will seek validation and affirmation from sources outside of the familiar relationships e.g. work, school, other people, etc.
This is certainly a systemic issue that dates back for generations and therefore, holds all people (both men and women) accountable for the disenfranchisement of father’s in the “home”.
As a growing mommy, I understand that God did intentionally create men and women differently, but that is not an impediment to the value of a father to his children. Men can and will nurture, stay the course, and give all when looked at as a father.
This post by no means is intended to minimize the mental, emotional, physical, etc efforts and sacrifices that mother’s experience. However, it is good to note that many men have also taken to the role as father and caregiver – married and even unmarried. In a society where men may not get the honor or respect they deserve for their service and support to their children because some may deem it “not enough,” it is important to stop comparing the roles of the two and allow Papa to fully embrace his role with pride.
Maybe if we intentionally bring honor to father’s on this day (and every day), we will continue to see an upswing in the role of both parents for the sake of the children.
Now back to my own daddy example. I believe the reason why I had such a phenomenal relationship with my father was not because he was super human or trying to take on the role of my mom, but because neither my mom nor my dad ever spoke ill of one another, not even a subtle hint of negativity (and if they did, it was not around me).
This small thing alone allowed me to honor him as my father and honor my mom as my mother. I was able to see his efforts for what they were, draw my own conclusions, and establish the relationship we needed to have despite the space that separated us.
So again, let’s not forget to give fathers their due and remember that it is possible to honor thy father and mother without dimming the light of one parent to magnify the role of the other. Be well!
Father’s Day is coming around the corner. You can buy him a gift, make him dinner or create something special that he will cherish forever. Sometimes the best gifts are ones that have meaning and a lot of thought put into it. I have provided links to many cool ideas that I found on the internet and one that I created a few years ago for my husband. Enjoy!
Dad’s Stache Link-Place all of his favorites in a glass jar. The printable label is in the link.
Legacy Box– Mail those old videos, photos, cards that have been tucked away in a shoe box and they will send you DVD’s filled with memories.
Questionnaire about Daddy
Instagram Coasters
“I love you because” photos-Take several pictures of your kids holding a black board and add quotes using and photo app.
Homemade shaving cream
Shrinky dink Tie tacks
Framed Hand and foot print
This was our gift to Joel 3 years ago. My son was just weeks shy of a year old.
We’re almost in month 6 of the pregnancy of our first child and I’m having such a great time. Planning a baby shower, buying baby stuff, choosing baby names, and learning about the pregnancy process & developmental markers of the baby are among the most enjoyable things that I’ve ever done.
For 33 years I have dreamed of being a father; so I sort of expected to enjoy these elements.
Now, what has been totally unexpected about this process is what I have learned about me! Proverbs 4:7 says that whatever we do, we should get wisdom and an understanding. As I have received the blessing and privilege of becoming a father, God has allowed me to grow in wisdom and understand some things. Specifically, there are 3 things I learned about me through the process of my wife’s pregnancy:
1. I have been selfish!
I have realized in two central ways that I have been very selfish.
A) I have not put my wife’s body in the proper context in our marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I was not abusive, nor did I look at my wife as a piece of meat. I did, however, fail to realize the pure splendor, strength, and sex appeal that her body possesses.
Watching her body purposely transform, perfectly shift, and automatically adjust to prepare for our child is a testament to God’s greatness and sovereignty and to the power that He has placed in my wife’s body. I had no idea that I was not giving my wife’s body the proper praise and awe that it deserved.
B) I have not placed enough value on quality time (QT) with my wife. In our home, we have date night on a regular. I relegated our QT to just that—date night and love making. Within the past 3 months, I’ve realized that QT goes beyond those two traditional elements. She asked me to read her and our unborn child a bible bedtime story and the look of peace, contentment, and fulfillment that was on her face was…indescribable! It was in this moment that my understanding of “the little things” grew exponentially.
2. I’m afraid. But, I’m strong!
I am scared. I’m scared of failing. I’m afraid of making a mistake that the family cannot recover from. I’m fearful that I won’t be able to lead my family. ALL of these are true. Even though I’m apprehensive, I am not paralyzed!
This fear gives me a bit of an edge, an awareness of the stakes that are at hand, and requires me to perform…to excel! God did not give me a fearful spirit! He did, however, give me 5 senses and a functioning brain that lets me absorb stimuli, situations, and circumstances. Those senses tell me that life is about to change forever and that’s a lot to take in; but I welcome it wholeheartedly.
3. My presence is needed…literally.
We’re all aware of the statistics about the lack of males in the home. I’m obviously in the home and very present during the pregnancy, but there are times when I may not be around for a decision. Or recently, business took us away from each other for about a combined week and it was tough. The support that my wife needs from me can only come from me.
Her friends were there to support her while I was away on business, and her co-workers were there to support her while she was on her business trip, but it was not enough because I wasn’t there. This is not to toot my horn, but it’s a testament of how much spouses should rely on each other. The ways in which I can support, love, under-gird, pray for, massage,make laugh, & comfort my wife cannot come from anyone else but me.
And even though I’ve learned so much throughout this process, it’s still not finished and I’m still learning…