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Eight Easy Steps for Praying for Your Spouse that Changes Things

“The family that prays together stays together” is one of those priceless, yet tragically overused and underestimated clichés that bombard Christian culture. I despise how numb to the concept of prayer we have become. The staggering truth is that prayer is a weapon of mass destruction to the schemes of the enemy and an instrument of mass con-struction for the good of His children.
Have you looked around lately? Have you noticed how volatile our society is? Do you hear the “wars and rumors of wars” reverberating through the sound bytes? Do you think your spouse isn’t affected? You’re affected by it, aren’t you? Listen to what David says about prayer in Psalms:
“In my distress [when seemingly closed in] I called upon the Lord and cried to my God; He heard my voice out of His temple (heavenly dwelling place), and my cry came before Him, into His [very] ears.” Psalm 18:6 (Amplified Bible)
You owe your spouse the gift of your prayers. Maybe you simply forget, or maybe you don’t yet grasp the impact of your prayers for your spouse.
Let me help: Jesus taught His disciples to pray by giving them an outline, of sorts. You can pray for your spouse using His model! I’ll use my wife for the example below, but try it for yourself using your spouse’s name.
Here’s an easy-to-remember eight step outline for praying for your spouse using the Lord’s Prayer, which you probably already know, found in Matthew 6:9-13:
1. Our Father in Heaven, holy is Your Name. (We enter the conversation with our Father by worshiping Him and declaring Who He is. We call on our Daddy, proclaim how high His authority is—in Heaven, and declare His holiness.
2. Let Your Kingdom come to my spouse. Let Your Kingdom and my wife’s kingdom merge to become one, where You are the King. Give her revelation of her position as Your daughter and empower her in her mission to expand Your Kingdom.
3. Let Your will be done in her life as in Heaven. Lord, help her to walk in Your authority, in the love of her Father in Heaven. Help her to bring Heaven to Earth with every breath and every step.
4. Give her today her daily bread. Provide the spiritual nourishment that she needs today that You have specifically provided for her as her loving Father. Speak to her by Your Word and Your Spirit. Also, provide for our family, Lord, that we may have all that we need.
5. Forgive her of any sins, Lord. Please remind her of anyone that she must forgive.
6. Lead her, Father. Lead her away from situations that cause her to stumble (temptation). Overall, Father, just lead her. Your Word says in Psalm 37:23 that You order the steps of the righteous. Guide her every step, Father.
7. (Here’s where you get to take up the sword!) Deliver her from every detestable and desperate scheme of the powers of darkness, over whom You gave her authority! No weapon formed against her will prosper. (Isaiah 54:17) You have placed Your angels around her. (Psalm 34:7)
8. End it in praise: It’s all about You, Father. This is Your Kingdom, for Your honor and glory. Forever. I commit my wife to you today, into Your hands, Father. I love You. Thank You for the gift of my spouse. In Jesus’ name. Amen
Customize it. Study it further. Make application to your spouse as you intercede, whether you use this model or not. The point is to jump into a lifestyle of intercession for your spouse!
How often do you pray for your spouse? What tools do you use?
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1The Holy Bible: The Amplified Bible. 1987. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation

7 Ways to Survive a Hard Season

“I used to be so bold. I had dreams. Now I’m just a bench warmer.” Such were my thoughts after returning from the mission field. Though we had heard God’s instruction to return home, I carried a sense of failure. I felt like I had laid everything to rest that I had fought so hard for, but I couldn’t explain why. I was feeling tired, invisible, easily offended, discouraged, and extremely cynical.
I wish it weren’t so, but there are just some things we only learn in the wilderness. The wilderness (or some call it the valley) is that special little place where it seems like God is silent, everybody hates you, and everything that can go wrong, will.
All sarcasm aside, we have all experienced it.
When these season fall upon us, every corner of our lives is affected, not excluding marriage. The Bible, in Matthew 4, Mark 1, and Luke 4, tells us how Jesus dealt with the wilderness. Though Jesus’ wilderness experience demonstrated that Jesus is the Son of God, it also created a template for us to grasp in those dry times.
If you’re married, the wilderness will affect either you, your spouse, or both of you. In fact, in my experience, I haven’t been through one of these dry seasons in which my wife wasn’t right there with me, staving off death, right alongside me.
Here are seven facts about the wilderness, your “Spiritual Wilderness Survival Guide”:
1. It’s hard. No sugar-coating, here. If you’re in the wilderness, I know it hurts. The wilderness, either by God’s design, your own, or the enemy’s is very hard. (John 16:33)
2. It’s a season. Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us of the seasons of life for every person. God may have you in your season of the wilderness for a year, maybe two, or maybe just for a few months. Every season varies. We see examples of long seasons of the wilderness (Numbers 32:13) and shorter seasons (Matthew 4, Mark 1, Luke 4). The encouraging takeaway is this: it won’t last forever.
3. God is sovereign. The Gospel accounts of the Lord’s wilderness experience depict a God-ordained wilderness. Maybe you caused your wilderness. Maybe Hell’s assignment against you is ferocious. Or maybe the Lord is developing faith that won’t blow over in the wind on the mountains.
4. Discouragement is your worst enemy in this season. If you find yourself trekking through the lonely valley, discouragement is the enemy’s weapon of choice. He loves to dismantle the notion of divine destiny. He thrives when you heed phantom, irrational fears. Know this: if you’re in the wilderness and you’re discouraged, you are a target. (I Peter 4:12, Hebrews 4:15)
5. Prayer and worship will carry you vast distances. In Acts 16:25-34 Paul and Silas sang in their prison! In my own seasons of the wilderness, worship was not desirous at all. I didn’t want to fabricate love when I didn’t feel it. But this weapon of worship is a game-changer! Worship, even when you don’t feel it, speaks the language of faith, which God pursues! Don’t hold back your song. Pray together, couples! You just may be a song away from the valley to the mountain.
6. Your spouse is not the enemy. In the wilderness moments, when the tension and chaos of life relentlessly infringe on your peace, there’s a tendency for hardness of heart to turn spouses against one another. In our wilderness season, I interpreted my wife’s exhortations as criticism and pretension! Your spouse is not your enemy, that’s a mirage. Your journey in the wilderness is your spouse’s journey in the wilderness. Encourage one another in the Lord!
7. There is war in the wilderness. Jesus didn’t surrender. He knew His authority! With every “right-hook lie” of the enemy, Jesus countered with the Sword of the Spirit — God’s Word! In the wilderness seasons, it may seem like nothing is going right. Your car may break down, your health goes haywire, dissension rises in your family. Rise up, husbands. Don’t despair, wives. Don’t buckle, knuckle up! You’re not a victor, you’re more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)!
Run to God, cling to your spouse, and fasten your eyes on hope. The wilderness is a season and God has a reason.
What have you learned in the wilderness?