Tag: four

If you are like me, a hopeless romantic, then you have already thought of or written out exactly how you want to meet your future spouse. Mine was that I would be at the grocery store and turn on isle 3 to get some pasta sauce and she would also be on the same isle looking for noodles. Our buggies would collide causing her to almost fall down, but I would catch her causing our eyes to meet. And…we would live happily ever after.
Your story may be completely different, but we all have at least once day dreamed about how we would meet them. Well, I am now married going on 4 years and my wife and I didn’t meet on isle 3, but rather the most unexpected place especially for us.
Yes, we met on Facebook. Yes, it really does happen.
I want to share with you 5 lessons I learned from meeting my wife on Facebook.
1. You May Not Meet Your Spouse How You Plan
This is the most important lesson out of the 5 simply because if I hadn’t been open to the reality that we might not meet in a way that I planned then I might still be single right now. Facebook was the LAST PLACE I ever thought I would meet my wife, and BOOM that’s exactly how we met.
2. Your Profile and Behavior Online Means A lot More than You Expect
My wife and I were both in a prayer group on Facebook and one day I saw her post a few prayers that really caught my attention. I then clicked on her page, and yes went through her pictures. I was shocked that we were already Facebook friends. She was very beautiful which caused me to do some more digging, leading me to her blog.   If she would’ve had crazy pictures up or wild stuff happening on her page then I probably would’ve ended my curiosity there. So, be conscious of how you have your page setup because you never know who might be curious about you.
3. Nothing Wrong With Taking Your Time to Get to Know Someone
After learning that she was single, I sent her a very friendly message through Facebook. I know you may be like…Wow, you stalked her and then messaged her? Yes, lol. It may be creepy then, but now its romantic  because we’re married. We messaged back and forth a few times but nothing serious at all and that went on for 8 months.
4. Every Relationship Is a Risk No Matter What
After prayer and talking with my pastor I felt the peace after 8 months of being friends with my now wife online. I sent her another message asking if she would be interested in us getting to know one another better. Even after all I did, this was still a risk. Why? Because the moment you involve another human into your world, nothing is guaranteed. This is why wisdom must be your guide helping you make the right decisions to guard your heart through the process.
5. Have a Relationship Support System in Place Before You Date
The one thing that made Natasha comfortable to actually be interested in getting to know me better was the strong community of people I had in my life. She saw I was heavily connected at my church and the many friends I had posting and commenting on my wall. But, clearly anyone can have this and still be a bit crazy. But, once Natasha and I were ready to get serious. I asked her if she wanted to speak with some of my friends from my church in order to feel more comfortable. Whether you’re meeting someone online or in person, being able to meet the people they spend majority of their time with really helps you to see what type of person they really are.

by Kay King
When we’re young we read about Prince Charming coming and sweeping the Princess off her feet and riding off on a horse to their “happily ever after”. It’s like it’s embedded in our heads. We grow up thinking that’s how it’ll be until all of sudden, we learn that it’s just a fairy tale, a story.
As I was sitting and thinking about my own Prince Charming and talking with God and asking him when he’s going to come, the Lord showed me myself. How many times do we think to ourselves, this is the type of man I want. Or when you see a man displaying characteristics that are ones you want in your husband, you say Lord send me someone like that. We spend more time talking about what kind of man we want versus what kind of woman we are.
If the saying “you attract what you are” is even a tad bit true, then it makes you think, am I worthy of the man I’m waiting for? See it’s unfair to expect so much from him and place less expectations on ourselves.
So when God showed me myself, I started writing down the things I’d seen. It made me think, am I the type of woman someone is looking for. Through this personal analysis of myself came my next blog.
Here’s my list of 5 types of women who are not ready for marriage:

1. THE INSECURE WOMAN

Now while we all deal with insecurities, there are some women who are driven by theirs. Meaning, they are always talking about themselves in a negative manner or fishing for compliments to help boost their self esteem. The insecure woman usually is overly flirtatious and wants to be the center of attention. She depends on reactions from others.
As women, we should never go into a marriage expecting to get our self worth from our husband. It is God who has set our worth and it is our husbands who uphold that standard. Relying on your spouse to set your self worth be a dangerous game,  they are there to affirm but our worth was never to meant to be set by them.

2. THE CONFUSED WOMAN

Of course, we don’t always have everything figured out but you should at least know if you want to be in a committed relationship or know if you want to get married. We all know the bible tells us confusion is not of the Lord, so why is it that one day we say we want to get married and then two weeks later, we’ve changed our minds. This could be the reason you’re single. You have no resolve about your future. 
What man wants to put his all into a relationship, he isn’t sure is going anywhere? Why should he put himself out there and pursue you, if he you’re unsure if you even want to be in a relationship? Remember healthy relationships are marked by peace, not by doubt and fear. 

3. THE CONTROLLING WOMAN

This is the woman, who wants to take on the lead role and wants to be control of everything. In other words, she wants to wear the pants in the relationship. I don’t know if you know this or not but God didn’t intend two men to be in a relationship together. He also didn’t design women to be the head. (1 Corinthians 11) So if you’re the type of woman who always has an opinion about how he dresses, how he eats, how he speaks and who he’s friends with, then you may find yourself single a little bit longer. No man wants a control freak.
After all, you’re not his mama, he has already left the nest and raising a man is NOT your job. So stop trying to control everything about him.

4. THE CLINGY WOMAN

This is the woman, who makes the relationship the center of her universe. Everything she does is based on this relationship. She has no friends outside of this relationship, she has no interest or activities outside of the relationship. She just wants to be around the one she’s married to 24/7. She hangs out with his friends, she’s always tagging along for the boys night out. Now don’t get me wrong, we all know relationships go through that honey moon stage, however, being too clingy can be unhealthy for both parties involved. Ladies, let me give you some advice, get a life.
No man is going to be able to spend every minute of every day with you. I mean how can he miss you, if you’re always around. You need time a part, he needs guy time and you need girl time. So get yourself a hobby or friends of your own.

5. THE ANGRY WOMAN

Let it go. Why are you always mad at your family, at your friends, at society? Always arguing with your co-workers. I mean, you’re just mad at life. Nothing makes you happy. You’re always into some drama and it’s always someone else’s fault. 
Men don’t want to be with an angry woman. Listen, as men, they already face so much out in the world. They don’t want to come home to your drama too. And no, I’m not saying you have to hide your feelings, however, you do need to know how to bring your emotions under subjection and not let them rule you. Men are strong, but I don’t know any man that is strong enough to take on a angry woman. There will always be a lack of communication and there’s always going to be the blame game.  Proverbs 21:19 It’s better to live alone in the desert, than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.
Now I know none of you who are reading this is any of these women… right? LOL
While I know I won’t ever be perfect, I know there are still areas in which I can improve. God wouldn’t have wanted me to look inward if that were not the case. So instead of focusing  on getting married, I’m going to focus on myself. I’m going to continue to build my empire, my ministry and allow God to mold me into a suitable wife. 
I would hate to ask God to send me the one and when He arrived, not be ready.