Talking about sex is either one of those things that makes you excited or feel a little awkward. It depends on the person, but mostly because sex is the most intimate part of a marriage.
Knowing that sex is the most intimate part of marriage, what do you do when sex is not an option? For a period of time that is. Whether it be because Aunt Flow is visiting your wife for the week, health complications during a pregnancy or maybe your spouse is deployed in the military.
Nothing can replace those kind of intimate moments you have with your spouse. Whatever the situation may be, there may come a time when you need to intentionally create intimacy in your marriage outside of the bedroom.
Here are a few ways to intentionally create intimacy:
- If you do not already know your spouse’s love language take time to do this. When looking for ways to create intimacy you don’t want to feel like your efforts are wasted by doing things that do not speak to your loved one in the way you had intended. You can simply ask your spouse what their love language is too if you aren’t sure.
- Communicate! There are so many different ways to communicate your affection for your spouse. Use your words to allow your relationship to grow closer. You can talk about anything. Talk about what you miss during those intimate times you have in your bedroom (or wherever), but also talk about those other moments that make you feel super close to each other. Once you communicate other ways you feel close to your spouse you will be able to implement them more.
- It’s action time! Once you communicate other ways you can feel intimate with your spouse make sure you intentionally do them. If you are struggling to find other ways to be intimate with your spouse aside from sex a few examples might include cuddling, massages or showering together. Also doing the things you enjoy as a couple. Maybe that means intentionally making time to cook together, write love letters, or planning weekly date nights.
- Get creative. You really can’t replace what sex does for your marriage. If you find yourself in a situation where it is taken off the table for a time being then do not stress. Get creative and have fun coming up with different ways to keep the romance in your marriage. Try playing a game of strip poker or cuddling by candle light.
- Seek God together. Your love life will be nothing if not centered around God. Praying together and bringing God into your marriage has such a powerful way of making you feel close to your spouse. God is the creator of intimacy so who better to seek counsel from? Allow Him to make your marriage stronger in every season of your life.
Lets do this!
Intimacy is something we all crave, and sex is one of the best ways to secure that in a marriage. Whether your sex life is great or needs some work, you really can apply everything I said to your marriage. Being married and young you have such a long journey ahead of you and you never know what is around the corner. I don’t think anyone enters a marriage thinking there may come a time when sex is not an option. However, you should know realistically there is a good chance this will happen. Don’t be so one dimensional that you do not know how to connect with your spouse unless it involves sex. You may also find that as you take time to create romance beyond your bedroom your sex life may become more balanced and fulfilling. All in all, it is about being intentional and having fun together!
Live.Love.Learn.
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