Sex in Marriage: 3 Things to Remember from a Wife's Perspective

From the desk of the Modern Day Cindi:
One of the most misunderstood concepts between a husband and wife is SEX!  And not just sex, but our sexual APPETITE, and what propels each of us to SATISFACTION. A husband and wife boast many benefits, especially the excitement and intimacy of having sex with YOUR spouse.
By design, God created sex for husbands and; wives equally, but in many cases it seems that men are easier to please sexually and are far more satisfied with sex than their female counterparts.
Many wives have taken pleasure in the privilege of bearing children, but not necessarily pleasure in the love making to create them. Of course, this is not the sweeping consensus for all women, but it is unfortunately true for many.
Now fellas, it is not that women do not enjoy the touch, embrace, and the idea of physical intimacy; but, the cares of household responsibilities, professional demands, and assuming the role of wife, mother, supporter, and friend becomes an unexplainable, inexplicable drain that rolls over into many areas.
As the body of Christ, we have to endorse love making for the ring wearer and covenant holders and support the development of growth in this position as well.
From the wife’s perspective, even sex with her spouse can become just another role that she must fulfill which makes the act more of an obligatory duty than a pleasurably, fulfilling experience.
For example, because women rarely compartmentalize issues, it has been jokingly said that women will claim headaches, sickness, and busyness all in disinterest and avoidance of sex.
Regrettably, it is not unbelievable or inconceivable to imagine that this may be true. Therefore, it is even more necessary to understand the importance of setting the proper atmosphere for love making.
Here are 3 things to remember:
1. To be stimulated mentally and satisfied physically, it is essential that a woman’s mind is aroused, intrigued, and focused on nothing else at that moment. Consequently, the foreplay really must start early and the love making, like many things, has to occur first in her mind. Women are not light switches.
Sometimes a thought alone does not get women to a place of stimulation …and sometimes it takes more than candle lights, soft music and a bubble bath. We need more to be turned on! Kind words; a helping hand; being protective, but not overbearing; and listening and acting on our needs, etc. can go a long way.
 
2. Understand the complexity and appreciate the vulnerability that comes from such an intimate act. From the time we were quite young, we were taught to avoid looking at movies with sex in it, listening to music that was overly sexual, or wearing clothes that were considered too sexy.
Although culturally inundated by sex, it was always considered taboo. Even houses of worship could be complicit in rebuking women in church for showing affection toward their spouse publicly all the while endorsing reproduction but not good love making… As a result, reluctantly many wives find it difficult to cross over into complete vulnerability with their husband sexually.
 
3. Love making between spouses should always feel new because it is a constant discovery with endless possibilities. The desire to meet your spouse’s needs must be deliberate and intentional. So take your time and enjoy the journey! Don’t compare or degrade your spouse, and stay away from acts that could open doors of inferiority and insecurity.

Remember: There are two people present in love making, so the memory of the experience can last a lot longer than the actual act. Make it fun and exciting and never forget the blessing of marriage!